An accident occurs, leaving two ponies trapped in a room with nothing to do but wait in an eternal field of stars.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
- offline last seen Last Tuesday
KitsuneRisu
Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.
KitsuneRisu
Joined 13th Dec, 2011 ·
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I-Is this the story you've been leading up to? With all the morse code?
Whhhhhhhy?
Well, time to find out.
EDIT:
Chucking this on my read-later list.
Only because it's after midnight and I need sleepies. I'll check you out in the morning.
Why must you write so fast?
On the read later list it goes.
4267892
Haha no. That one is about jellyfish. >_>;
4267908
I'm sorry ._. I'll try to take 2 months to release new stories next time ._.
4267912 Thank goodness, that sounds much better.
not really tho pls don't take me srsly
Okay, review time - this is utterly heartbreaking. I'd say other nice things about it but I'm still trying to recover.
4267919
Oh, I see. :<
*abandons all current projects then*
4267921
Holy cow you read fast. I'm glad you liked it, though. =)
This story better get featured
I'm in tears right now.
4267923
Dude how are all of you guys reading this quickly?
4267924
Hehe I'm a fast reader when I'm interested
4267929
Thank you very much for the support then ^_^
I do hope it did its intended goal of
making everyone cry like a beeeoootchstirring emotion.4267944 Well you succeeded in making me cry like a bitch. Good show!
How boy, this is how you do tragedy.
I love the message that this gives. So much of our lives are caught up in the pursuit of stupid things, letting the more important parts of life slip by. It's good to see how the characters in this understood that.
Everyone has regrets, but it's a true sign of character in how one deals with those regrets.
A sweet bit of character interaction between the two main scientists. It circled a whole range of emotions and shows a good understanding of how people/ponies deal with a crisis.
I want to make a, "When you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back," comment, but I'm unsure if that was one of the intended themes in this one. Even if it isn't, that's the impression I got.
A lovely story. Nice going!
Wow. Now that was a fantastic story.
I have no words..
A halfhearted "for science."
Friendshipping at the end of everything, but thanks for giving my inner Twixie a nibble on the ear.
a1.s6img.com/cdn/0008/p/1717974_5013518_lz.jpg
By the blood on Luna's horn, KitsuneRisu - is this what I signed up for when I decided to Watch you? This heart-rending pain and beauty, wrapped together in a blanket of stars? What was I thinking? Is this really what I wanted for myself when exploring this site?
By love's bright promise, and by the power of truth and compassion: you're damn right it was. I can only hope that someday I'll step away from my playful little crackfics and write something half as powerful.
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
By the heavens, what happened here?
20 upvotes? The 21st was mine.
89 views? I'm lost for words, stolen by this story, and stolen again now.
This is absolutely amazing. Genuinely sucker-punchingly, gut-wrenchingly heartfelt and wonderful.
Time and time again you deliver, and this is no exception.
For what it is, this is beautiful. You pulled me in with your words and I loved every second.
Bravo KitsuneRisu
Stars?
i.imgur.com/xOJDg1k.jpg
(added to Read Later, btw)
...
....
It's beautiful.
I don't know how you managed to time this so perfectly:
But that started happening to me just as I got to that line.
Darn. What a story. Well done again, KS.
You don't even understand how much I hate you right now.
mashable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/crying-waterfalls.gif
There was no backup protocol for opening it in case the Princess was a few hours away?
Jesus Christ, the benefits to that job must've been awesome to get anyone to sign up. Maybe a Dunkin Donits giftcard in addition to salary.
They created an absolute void... deliberately?!
That's beyond insane...
A realm split from all normal space-time, devoid of even the fundamental quantum principles of the universe, it's principles cannot even be contemplated.
Such things may initiate a Big Bang, or trigger some other form of inflationary event as the quintessence attempts to fill the null space! They could have destroyed the entire universe!
Twilight is in for some tough years of survivor's guilt. Neither of them would have been there without her — her forgiveness, and her pulling strings for the scholarship.
And she is going to be aware of that every single moment that she looks into two of her best friends' eyes to fulfill her promise.
Damn.
I almost didn't read this story.
I am so stinking glad I didn't skip it.
I cried, of course, but take that with a grain of salt because I cry during all the sad stories and such. The execution was just...perfect. I admire the stories that can pack emotion the most because it's something I can never quite do.
(PS: Just wanna say that I realized Big Mac and Flutters were his parents BEFORE they talked about the cottage and the Elements. It was those two right? I pride myself on deduction skills.)
Friendship is Magic
4270530 I would totally work with absolute voids of reality and physics if my bonus pay was a Dunkin' Donuts gift card.
4271156
it really depends on the amount
>10 yes
<5 no
In between maybe
4270778
And by extension, she led them up to the events that caused them to die in a negative void.
I'd personally find that arousing, but then again I'm not Twi.
4270778
— They wanted to be there, one voice says.
Because they believed in you, the other says. And it killed them.
There are two foreign voices clashing in my head.
She made me promise to continue the project, the first voice says. It is cold, detached; the void between the stars, the darkness that defines my light. It tells me I have done no wrong.
I defy that. I cannot recognize it. I do not want it. But it is a part of me. I have a terrifying suspicion that this is how Luna felt when her jealousy began to whisper to her. I know it's not true, but I am terrified nonetheless.
She made me promise to continue, dispassionate logic echoes. It should console me that reason agrees with the first voice — but it does not, because reason also provides the counterpoint:
But why did they have to die at all?
That voice has a name. Two names. It speaks its words in the voices of my friends.
I want to shout and deny it, call it the impostor it is.
Mac would never give voice to those words. At Granny Smith's funeral, at Apple Bloom's hospital bed, at Fluttershy's side as she put down Angel, I have seen Big Macintosh Apple when the tides of grief rise too high. He curls in upon himself, takes a deep breath, and floats along on the surface, unmoored and drifting through the days and nights, bumping into the flotsam of friends and jetsam of chores, until the water recedes and he has floated so very far away. Then he shoulders his yoke, stands up, and plods back home, in perfect silence all the while.
One day, he will wash away beyond our pleas to return. One day, he will break, as his father did when his mother passed. One day, when he picks himself up after the tsunami, he will turn and walk in a different direction, and none of us will ever see him again.
I hope it is not I who will break him.
Fluttershy, too, would never give voice to those words. She would do something far crueler than to say them, crueler even than to hold them in silence: She would never think them at all.
I would show up at her doorstep, and she would see Russet's story in my eyes before I even opened my mouth. I would stumble through the final speech of a lost pony, as I promised to do, and she wouldn't even listen. I would get halfway through the speech I'd spent days memorizing, stammering through my tears, and I would miss a word, tripping over Trixie, and she would step forward before I could stop her and she would hug me. I would lose it completely, bawling onto her shoulders, and I couldn't shout at her; I would be too weak to say Hate me, too weak to say It was my fault. Every fiber of my being would be crying out for her to mourn, to blame, to hurt, to hit; but she would just hold me as I sank weightless to the floor, drying my immortal eyes and shushing me like she shushed the foal who would grow up to be murdered by me as surely as if I'd nursed him on the icy daggers of my royal teats, and Twilight, she'd say, Twilight, velvet voice over velvet hoof as I flailed to draw blood upon a nonexistent iron edge, Twilight, listen, as I hyperventilated, listen, she'd say, listen:
They wanted to be there —
4268079
Hi there! Thanks very much for your comment! Glad you liked it, and glad you managed to get something from it. As for themes, I tend not to try to enforce themes in my stories, especially with something like this one right here. So feel free to interpret it in any way you want! But I can say, at least, that the 'abyss' philosophy was not something I was consciously thinking of while I was writing it.
4268154
You just had four. AND A HEART. Liar.
4268241
Sure. Sorry that there wasn't more! But I didn't want to make their relationship TOO clear. I'm sure there's enough for you to interpret things in a different way, though.
4268384
There's nothing wrong with crackfics! They're fun, everyone can enjoy them... well. But it's always nice to do a bit of everything, I find. ^_^ Thank you very much for enjoying this piece, and I'm glad it's touched you in the way that it did.
4268750
And thank you for adding to those views and favourites. Each one means a lot to me, and it's all you guys. All you.
4268932
4268958
4269602
4269863
Thank you so very much, you guys, for your heartfelt comments and your support. It's always nice to know that something you do is worth it in the end, and I certainly would have never been able to write anything without the continued help of readers such as yourself who take the time to leave just even the smallest of comments. Thank you.
4270293
Zat Wuz Mai Intention allllll alonnnnggggg!
...
4270530
(Click here for full size. Fimfic resized it too small. :c)
i.imgur.com/nD1ON9c.jpg
4270604
Good Lord, you're right. What were they thinking!?
4270778
I really love how your experience seems to be extending outside of the story boundaries.
4270819
Hey, I'm glad you didn't skip it either, haha. >_>; *cough*
And yes. Good job. I wasn't trying to be obtuse about it, but it's just a little something there extra for the people who read a bit more closely. So good job! That was the insinuation, although it could really be anyone if it upsets you that Mac&Cheese's kid just bit it.
4271170
Wat.
4271405
Jesus Christ, that's awesome.
Do you mind if I put that comic on my userpage (I'll credit you, of course)?
4271433
Um.. lol, sure, I guess. It's a 5 minute omake, but if you like it, haha. Go right ahead.
4271172
I'm sorry for taking so long to reply to this comment.
I had to read it a few times, and I certainly wasn't going to lump in this response with a mass one. That was really quite brilliant indeed. As a what-if to the continued story beyond the end of this one, I don't think there could be much better put into few words as poetically.
Thank you for writing that. It's touching stuff, to say the least.
4271361
Hehe.. You got me there.
Erm..
4271508
It was born of tears shed at your story, so thank you in return.
Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Liquid pride has been shed.
That was not a story. That was an experience. Stories such as this are far and few between, stories that provoke original ideas and are written beautifully. It is clear that you have worked hard to produce such a masterpiece and I admire people who put a sheer amount of effort into their work.
This was a beautifully written, incredibly sad and thought provoking work of genius.
Thank you for taking the time for writing it.
So very sad. Different from, but, kind of like the Vom.
4272603
4273814
Thank you for reading the story and giving it a chance.
4272951
Ah, thank you so much for your very kind comment. ^^; I don't know what your definition of hard work is, but I certainly went through a couple of pots of tea to write it.
If it's made you have a few thoughts, then that's all I want from it. So thank you very much!
4271405 SRSLY!! Ponies are worst scientists!
Quite apart from the cosmology here, which is stunning in its own right, this is probably the single most persuasive version I've seen of Trixie Redeemed.
"Brilliance" is obviously a concept with which you are familiar.
4275575
Brilliance and farts. A lot more of farts.
Speaking of Redeemed, this was actually the original story I was going to write for the Everfree Write-off for their 'redemption' prompt. This story is what EVENTUALLY became Tarnish. I actually wrote a 3000-word version of this, and then rewrote it, and then scrapped it and wrote the Silver Spoon one instead because I felt, and my faithful friends felt, that this story could not be sufficiently told in the word limit.
So I sat on this for a month and a half and I finally got it out after a lot of re-planning, retooling and refocusing.
I think I made the right decision.