Swirling Line, your average pegasus mare, lives in Manehattan, working an ordinary day job until she finally reaches her dream of getting a career in the world of art. However, when finds a building on fire with a foal trapped inside, she saves the child.
At the cost of her own life.
Met by a strange spirit calling himself Nevermore, who takes the form of a raven, she makes deal that brings her back to life - though not quite as she expected. Now gifted with extraordinary powers, she will fight to defend the ponies of Manehattan, facing whatever threats may come her way.
Her name is Swirling Line. She is the Raven.
[img]https://i.imgur.com/GizVyc0.png[/img]
Co-written by Zodiacspear and DarknessRising
Cover art by Swirling Line
In case it wasn't obvious enough, the OC Swirling Line belongs to the artist Swirling Line. Now she can't sue me.
![https://i.imgur.com/GizVyc0.png[/img]](https://i.imgur.com/GizVyc0.png[/img]){kind=link}
Oh, Edgar Allen Poe, your stories of horror and grotesqueness has yet showed up again.
I am Swirling Line. I am the Raven! I have a craving for bird seed....
5207557 THAT IS HILARIOUS. YOU ARE MY FRIEND NOW.
5207565
5207557 I feel so left out...
Working on this one is a lot of fun, so many ideas for the future. *Giggles like a madman* Oh, the fun we shall have.
Nevermore.
5207575 I would've thought it go without saying. By now, we'd better be friends.
5207607 Eeyup.
5207612 Indeed so. I tried to be funny and it seems I failed.
That is what I get for not getting enough sleep.
speaking of which, did you like the movie " the raven" the one that Brandon lee ( bruce lee's son) is the protagonist?
I think I'm the only one that read the title and instantly thought>>
'A Raven story! Like, Raven from Teen Titans?! Oh goody goody goody!'
...
I was wrong...
We all got a discount Raven...
*likes*
Most definitely an interesting story.
5207565 Yeah! Werewolf and Raven high five!
5207575 Why do you feel left out?
5209320 Like I told Lord Lycaon, I was attempting to be funny and the joke fell flat.
5209316
5209610 Three-person high-five.
5208007 No, I've not seen that movie.
5209661 watch it, but only the first one, its the best of the three.
5209610 Ohhhh. sorry.
I am Swirling Line. I am the Raven. I am SOOOO taking advantage of that sweet treat discount.
Now where are the raspberry creams?
5209682 Agreed. The first movie was the only one worth mentioning. I try to deny the others exist...
I feel like it's sketchy for her not to have some suffered some kind of neck injury that she could conceivably recover from even if it's just a really nasty bruise and some minor internal bleeding. Miraculous recovery makes more sense than miraculous survival.
AWESOME!!!
5247463 Thanks!
Chapter three is well underway, expect it soon!
Might or might not?
Really, ramen and microwaves?
5321177 First, thanks for bringing that mistake to my attention.
Second, yes, ramen and microwaves. Come on, the technology of Equestria has always been inconsistent. They have arcade cabinets (confirmed by the episode "Hearts and Hooves Day"), but no cars or even washing machines, for crying out loud. Plus, I'm pretty sure that they at least have a variant of ramen noodles, even if it's not made with the same ingredients.
5322143
You're welcome.
I tend to think that authors ought to stick to a degree of consistency. That consistency should not be maintaining existing inconsistency. It's especially frustrating when fanfic writers in this fandom seem to ignore obvious problems that would make it hard for ponies, who have hooves, to create or operate human technology. Admittedly, some degree of rug sweeping is necessary to make almost any story work because, aside any other issues, a real horse or pony's hoof offers none of the dexterity of the human hand.
For what it's worth, I don't recall the arcade cabinet and that seems a bit ridiculous too. A particular problem that I see, beyond electricity is sophisticated technology of any sort. Considering that only unicorns, and probably only a percentage thereof could aspire to real dexterity of a sort I imagine that certain things are unlikely to be invented and, for other reasons, including manufacturing difficulties, would be unlikely to be common and widespread. Pre-made, pre-packaged ramen noodles would be vastly unlikely because of the need of machinery to mass produce the noodles in the first place much less the preparation and packaging steps. I doubt a microwave would even exist and would be costly to install/setup/operate for a non-unicorn, particularly one of limited means.
That said, any other unlikely technology that you deem to be present?
5324134 I'll just say that we won't be seeing TVs or computers in this story anytime soon, unless their existence is also confirmed by the show or comics. Honestly, though, I can't argue with your logic
(mostly because I'm lazy), but for the sake of consistency - at least, in this story - we're assuming they have ramen and microwaves, albeit, less advanced, and likely powered by something other than electricity - not necessarily magic, though it's a possibility, I suppose.5324160
I would like to point out that it's unlikely that anything other than magic will be capable of emitting precisely controlled microwave pulses. A different, non-magical, repeatable method of reheating might work, but it wouldn't be a microwave. Otherwise electricity would have to exist to allow a microwave to work.
I assume you have taken at least high-school physics, but I could be wrong. This -> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Microwave is important information.
P.S.
When we say 'microwave' it's an abbreviation of 'microwave oven'.
5324592 Fine. It's magic, then. And yes, I'm aware of what we're talking about.
5324134 I do have to ask, you are trying to apply logic in a world of pastel-colored ponies, in a magical land of impossibilities, whose jobs range from farming, to construction (with heavy machinery) to controlling the weather and raising the sun and the idea of a microwave is too much?
I'm not sure how to process that.
5324592
5327577 THANK YOU.
5327577
Your uncertainty on how to process that isn't my problem. What I am saying is that authors should aspire to consistency, in the case most definitely more than the writers of the show seem to have. The show's writers deserve a good deal of criticism,
Worlds work on logic, not chaos. That's a fact, otherwise their can hardly be any level of consistency at all and making sense is a daydream. It is silly of a writer to espouse logic in one area and silliness in another. What happens in the show, as far as I am concerned, is a difficulty arising from, at the very least, the following: multiple writers, trying to figure out how things should work with hooves without undermining the ability to churn out an episode, writing a show meant to get the viewer to relate to the pony (meaning they have to bear a certain similarity to us and things we are familiar with), and of course being confined to a 30min. show time.
A fanfiction author/writer is not under most of those burdens.
Equestria is not a magical land of impossibilities, it is a magical land of different possibilities. In any case, unless you are going to dispense with any sort of physics at all you have to settle on how things work. It's clear that some things are very similar to our lives. Gravity still pulls things down and behaves in the expected manner (objects have weight, holding stuff up is hard, etc). So, barring some highly unusual circumstances or clear stated oddities, it is generally reasonable/fair/safe to assume that Equestria could reasonably be a country on a spherical planet in a similar sort of universe.
What is a little too much is mixing science and magic in a way that makes no sense. All technology relies on previous development and presumably all spellwork relies on past experiments with magic. Having a microwave identical to ours with no technological path behind it to support it's existence in the first place is ridiculous. It's a bit of a patch job, but you can make everything magitech, but unless you have enough regular tech or information about the universe it would be difficult for magical equivalents to our devices to be conceived of or created, much less provide such magic powered devices to everypony.
5325413
It was not my intention to be insulting, if that's what I should understand from your reply. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same level of understanding. And to be certain of that, I have to know that there is agreement on what something is, like a microwave. There's a real difference between a lack of understanding science and not thinking about it, and just including things that make no sense because it's easier to write that way.
5328619 Dude, you're thinking WAY to deeply into this. And to think this argument started because of something as trivial as a microwave oven.
5328619 I will post this here, it was a rather interesting read on the technology in Equestria. After reading it, I honestly don't think the presence of a microwave oven is that big of a deal. In fairness the article covers up to season three, and doesn't include season four.
We should also not forget that all of our fictions are based or roughly based upon the show. As for the microwave oven being too modern, it should be noted that it was introduced in the 1960s—over fifty years ago.
As for hooves and their practicality with finer dexterity of fingers, this should not even be an issue with MLP. As I've seen it, their hooves are only as solid as they need to be. Otherwise, yeah, more than half of what the ponies do in show and in writing would be completely impossible. It is just one of those things you just accept as is and move on. I learned my lesson with "Feeling Pinkie Keen" it is best not to dwell on things in MLP. It tends to lead to spontaneous self-combustion.
I can understand if it is something that bothers you, but that is not something I can really help with. That is something you will have to work out on your own.
i still cannot understand how mafioso wants to kill a random mare that saved a kid on a fire, he seems more rational than that.
are we missing something here?
5329868 It was his organization that started that fire in the first place. Plus, he doesn't like having heroes in "his town." Plus, in case, you haven't noticed yet, he's kind of a dick.
5330718
Major one really, surprised he can put up with the police existing. Guess he doesn't want anybody higher up and more effective than them on the job.
5329244
I'm not thinking way too deeply, you're writing way too shallowly. You set boundaries on how the shadow "magic" works and yet you want to include microwaves without any real foundations or any hint at all of pre-existing technology that would lead to it.
5329270
I honestly couldn't give a single damn about their opinions. As I noted before, consistency in a fan work is up to the author not the canon. Just because the canon is mucky that way doesn't mean that fanfiction can't or shouldn't be more consistent. The 1960s is still very recent even in the scope of western civilization. The U.S. is younger than most of the western european nations by several centuries at the very least. -- Additionally the canon writers play fast and loose with things as I noted above. If they had the leisure of more time to work on it, I think they'd try a little harder.
Nothing leads to spontaneous self-combustion. It bothers me a bit, but I have no need to work anything out. Nevertheless, I have a certain degree of dislike for fanfiction authors who try to use the show as license to squeeze anything they feel like at the moment in on a whim particularly when It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make good writing, even if the story as a whole is fun to read.
Plenty of stuff shouldn't work and I suppose that, on one level, I'd be a lot happier if didn't. Strange behavior from a few ponies I can take, even Discord, but I feel that non-magic technology and even that based on magic has to have some rules. Technology as a rule works on scientific principles, which must be true and known for that technology to even be considered or invented. Magic must have rules too or you might as well just magic away any inconvenience which makes for something of a lame story.
Ignoring even semi-realistic restrictions on ponies devalues them being ponies. Perhaps I've forgotten or not noticed, but is there ever a discrete moment where a non-unicorn is holding a teacup that's obviously designed for hands or some kind of fingered appendage? I would not be surprised much by a lack of consistency in that department. It's implied and maybe mentioned somewhere that earth ponies don't have the fine manual dexterity of a hand and lose out to a unicorns improved ability in that department via magic.
5332491
Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. Really, it is not worth being riled up about. You honestly stated that you don't care about other opinions but then state your own and expect it to be taken with the upmost seriousness. That is called a double standard and things simply don't work that way.
I beg to differ.
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/303/5/b/mlp_fim_pokemon_reference_by_roquekelv2-d4egox0.png
Would you honestly want us to take the time to write out an explanation on how microwave ovens would work? That seems like pointless fluff that has absolutely no importance on the story what so ever. Wouldn't an author's time be better suited to writing content that actually has meaning to the plot, characters and scene?
mlpforums.com/uploads/monthly_10_2012/post-1-0-15677700-1349318163.png
Edit: Forgot to mention one point.
Again, please calm down. The shadow magic was set there to limit the hero and give realistic weakness to a character. Without it, the character becomes a Mary-Sue. Also, the shadow magic will actually have importance in the story, where as a microwave oven won't.
5332597
5328619
Seriously, this all started because one guy got butthurt about a microwave.
5333793
You obviously don't know what "butthurt" looks or sounds like, cause this isn't it.
5332597
The point is simply that I disagree with them and their view of things. As such, I don't take it into consideration in my own thinking. They are not some authority that you can hold up to justify something, just another source of opinion. That's hardly a double standard.
Sure, if you discard reality altogether along with any pretense of such, then sure, anything can happen.
The author's time would be better spent inventing a creative solution or way for the character to make their dinner quickly than plopping in a cheap, real world reference which is completely out of context and whose existence in world doesn't make any sense. A pony would probably just to some cheap takeout restaurant. The existence of pre-made, pre-packaged ramen is, in and of itself, questionable. What I'm saying though is that you should do more early onto emphasize the level of technology that is average before inserting a microwave. Without the proper underpinnings it feels really out of place.
I wasn't criticizing the limits on shadow magic. I was attempting to contrast the avoidance of a Mary Sue with the inclusion of tech that doesn't really fit in. In our world, thugs had guns, maybe even machine guns long before microwaves were common.
5335136 Dude. It's a microwave oven in a fan-made story about a cartoon about a world of magical, talking horses. Get over yourself and look at your comments. You're butthurt about a fucking microwave. So I used a real-life object in my story. Big deal. I didn't feel it was necessary to add in anything that would distract me or Zodiacspear from the actual plot of the story. No one has to conform to your specific ideas of what the technology of a fantasy world is capable of. At least I haven't given anyone guns. Then we'd have an argument. You don't have to like it. Just live with it.
5335136 Moving on.
The next chapter is titled "Kill or Be Killed"?
Well the shit is going to hit the fan isn't it? I better take my coat off, the universal sign of "It's on."
I can see why heroes struggle with internal and external conflict to decide what is right or wrong, that chapter added the drama and action needed.
Very good chapter.The inner conflict really pushed the story forward. Just one thing really bugs me.
Mafioso's actions make literally no sense here. His reasoning behind attacking is because he doesn't want heroes in the city, because he fears them to interfere with his work. But actually, rescuing a filly out of a fire and fighting crime are two very different things. He doesn't even know whether she really wanted to be a hero or just reacted to the situation.
By his reasoning he would have to murder every firefighter and police officer first. Most of those guys actually want to be heroes, or they would have picked a different job.
Going after random civilians instead, who have never expressed any intend to fight crime is not only senseless, but also the best way to get some ponies bend on revenge, who then might really interfere with his profession.
5543326 Yes. I'm sure by now that you may realize that Mafioso is just as nuts as he is cruel.
Recommending your story for the Godhood library... thing. I think you need two recommendations, however... I'll ask Eris what on earth I'm supposed to do next.
If you want to see the review, it's on my decision thread. It's a bit vague, but that's because I was confused.
5572427 Don't suppose you can offer us a link to said review? Would be glad to see it.
5573732 Here it is.