In a quiet corner of a nondescript pocket dimension, somewhere adjacent (and slightly to the left) of an unfathomable writhing tempest of antimatter, between an Ikea and the caged spirit of Asmodeus, exists a draconequus. He has thoughts he needs to put down onto paper, some strongly worded thoughts for an irksome purple princess.

Cover art courtesy of JeweLLier on VK.

Featured on Equestria Daily!

Reading by Skijarama.
Reading by Pony&Wolf Productions.

Russian Translation by oranzinispegasas.

This story is a sequel to Ice

Twilight, Spike and Discord are on Earth. Our Earth. The low-magic planet where humans come in only a few skin colors, don't pony-up or wear clothes with cutie marks, and think that every creature they see that isn't human is either a non-sapient animal, some kind of monster, or both.

The portal they came through is broken, the exit having separated from the entrance by many, many miles. Their own Equestrian magic has drained away. There's very little magic for them to absorb on Earth. To survive the harsh conditions they're flung into without their magic, and to survive encounters with the paranoid natives of the world who see strange animals as something to exploit or to fear, they're going to have to work together.

Set in Season 7 sometime. Expansion of "Ice", and "Ocean" from "Eating Dessert First".

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.

Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

Hanna, the CEO of Hofvarpnir Studios, just won the contract to write the official My Little Pony MMO. Hanna has built an A.I. Princess Celestia and given her one basic drive: to satisfy everybody's values through friendship and ponies. Princess Celestia will satisfy your values through friendship and ponies, and it will be completely consensual.

After a nightmarish magical error, a small group of university students sent to Equestria for a study are now unable to return home. Permanently. Companionship with one another had never become more important for them.

Well, minus one. His name was Joey Belfort. Nothing quite remarkable or unremarkable about him on the surface, which unfortunately often leads to being overlooked. Constantly forgotten, overshadowed by his peers. Sometimes the road to success is a treacherous and painful one.

Of course, he of all people already knows this. This is his story.

(Takes place in G4 after Twilight becomes a princess.)

Edit: Featured on day 2 of release! Holy cow! Thank you guys!

Double edit: featured again!! That's craaazy

Silver Spoon. Derived from the phrase "born with a silver spoon in your mouth," which implies being born into wealth, privilege, and now being a pony too apparently.

I opened a Ko-Fi! Mainly because people wanted to donate in order to support me. It should help motivate me to write more in theory. I'll use whatever is donated to help commission more art for my fic.

Anon likes his life to be simple. He wakes up, goes to work and sometimes gets himself a good book to read while he is home. It's a routine that he likes to follow, it makes him feel like he has a bit of normality with his life in Equestria. The fact that having Celestia come crashing into his home as part of his routine should prove that his life is anything but normal.

(Thanks to PeerImagination for editing!)

A human, having suffered due to the mysterious means of his transmission from one world to another, is stuck in bed recovering from his injures. While a little alarmed to find that the one looking after him is not human herself, he can't do much about it.

It helps that - as he finds - she's also rather good company.

You know these stories where somebody suddenly wakes up with a creepy, unknown voice in their head? Well that's what's happening to me, except I'm that strange voice, and I'm not stuck in somebody, I'm stuck in somePONY.
How did I get here? And how will I ever find a way to go back without so much as a body to call my own?

Now with 100% more cover art thanks to the splendiferously awesome Exelzior! Go read his stuff instead of mine! Do it!

Rated teen for foul-mouthed protagonist. Expect bad words.