Me, Myself and I

by Cynical Page

3 - It Can't Hurt to Try

Joey was a chronic night owl. Not that he particularly like the night, he just had a very bad habit of staying up way too late. College will do that to you.

Despite this he found himself awake a lot earlier than he normally was, trudging down the stairs at roughly 7 that morning. It wasn't until he got to the bottom of the stairs when he realized that he was hungry. He headed into the kitchen and began rummaging through the cabinets for any food (or coffee - especially coffee). He did end up finding some old coffee, but it honestly didn't smell bad at all. Unfortunately, no food.

What was the deal on food and other necessities while they were here, anyway? Was he just expected to have brought money with him? They were told that there would be no exchanges in currency, so he didn't bother. So now what?

The coffee machine filled the room with a great smell as it brewed. Once it was done he helped himself to a cup and settled in the armchair with his filming notes. Couldn't hurt to get an early start. He'd worry about food later.

The minutes ticked by, and all he felt like he had done was stare blankly at the notes. Damn it, this was so much easier when there were others around. He stowed away the papers in his schoolbag end opened up his copy of The Hobbit. Nothing like a comfort book at times like these.

After what seemed like hardly any time a knock came at the door. He hadn't been expecting company at all. Well, he hadn't really known what to expect anyway.

He answered the door and found a familiar purple pony standing on his doorstep. Hard to tell what exactly she was beyond that; she had both wings AND a horn. Behind her stood a shy-looking pegasus with a very long pink mane.

"Ah - er, Joey, right?" the purple one said. "I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle, but please just call me Twilight."

"Er... yeah, that's me." Joey replied tiredly. "I don't think we've met though..."

Twilight. Twilight. Wasn't that the name of the one who was supposed to accompany him from the hospital?

"Not yet, we haven't." Twilight replied with a sheepish smile. "Oh, right - this is Fluttershy!" The yellow one gave a weak smile.

"Nice to meet you." Joey said gently, giving her a weak smile in return. "So, uh - did you ladies need anything?" He then realized who he was talking to and gave a quick bow. This caused Twilight to giggle, and Joey instantly realized that this didn't seem to be something she normally had others do.

"Nope, but you do... if you don't mind..." Fluttershy said quietly. It was then Joey noticed the bags of what looked like groceries at their hooves.

"Oh, really? Well - um - thanks!" Joey stammered awkwardly, stepping aside to let them in. The two ponies beamed at him and walked inside.

"Hope we weren't interrupting anything!" Twilight called out to him from the kitchen. "I almost forgot to bring you all of this, I've been so busy working on the Gateway. Speaking of which," she added with a concerned look while walking up to Joey as he shut the door, "how are you feeling?"

"Pretty good, thanks." Joey replied. The princess visibly relaxed, and he could see large bags under her eyes. "Have you figured out how to fix the machine yet?"

Twilight exchanged a nervous look with Fluttershy. "Well... maybe. Princess Celestia wants to meet with the five of you later today to explain the situation." She placed the groceries on the table as well as a small burlap bag of what sounded to be coins.

"That doesn't sound like good news..." Joey murmured, loud enough for the other two to hear.

Twilight raised her hooves. "Nothing's been set in stone, but... it's not looking too great right now." Her expression had grown considerably darker as she explained this, causing Joey to feel for her a bit.

"That had to have been really hard to say. Thank you for that, I can't imagine how hard this has been for you all." he said gently as he began to make his way into the kitchen.

Twilight sighed and gave him a smile. "You're the first one who's said that to any of us... thank you Joey. I honestly could say the same for you, especially if you guys get-" Her eyes went wide open as she seemed to have nearly said something she shouldn't.

Joey tried to ignore the anxious feeling swelling up within him like an emotional balloon. "Listen... when you realize that you want to do something but can't do it, you do what you can. As far as I can tell that's what it seems like. I can't personally bring myself to hold that over your heads." (He had learned that first bit from The Boondocks.)

Both Twilight and Fluttershy stared at him with, the prior had he mouth slightly agape. After a long silent pause, she said "That... was really deep. You have no idea how much that helps."

"I understand that there will be some sort of worst-case scenario, and honestly..." Joey paused, trying not to think about what that might be. "...as long as someone cares, it's still worth moving forward right? That's what my dad used to say."

"Used to?" Fluttershy asked, making Joey freeze up. He was not about to tell them about his father's death. Not only would this be a horrible time, but he had vowed to never mention it if he didn't have to. He wasn't going to seem like some attention-seeking sod.

"I... yeah, didn't talk to him as much when I moved out for college." Joey corrected hastily. He wasn't technically lying. "You know... long distance, and all."

The two other ponies nodded in understanding, but Fluttershy had a look about her that seemed to be gently drilling a hole right into his heart, right into a place where light would shine on his deepest secrets. It kind of terrified him.

The gentle pegasus smiled at him. "Well, please feel free to have tea at my house if you want to talk about it. Okay?"

Joey nodded as Twilight beamed at the two of them. What was that all about? Still, some part of that made a part of his chest hurt. Maybe he was feeling lonelier then he cared to admit, lonely enough for even such a simple invitation for tea to strike him deeply.

"When exactly does the Princess want us to meet her?" Joey asked. "Just so I don't accidentally miss it."

Twilight materialized a small pocket watch out of thin air (which was fucking awesome to watch) and glanced at it. "In about a half hour."

"I know you're busy, but... either of you want coffee?" Joey asked mildly, starting to feel embarrassed. He had been so awkwardly preoccupied by the unexpected conversations that he had forgotten to be a decent host. "Of course, if not I totally get it."

Twilight hesitated as she looked longingly at the coffee maker, then back to Joey. She wanted to stay clearly, but instead she sighed in a defeated manner. "Unfortunately, I can't. I need to reconvene with the others before we have the meeting. Sorry..."

Joey felt a large rush of admiration for the tired princess. "Well... it never hurts to try to make a friend." he chuckled awkwardly.

As Twilight walked out the door she turned and smiled at him. "Don't be ridiculous, we're already friends. You don't need to worry."

This hit home as Joey watched her leave. That easy, huh? It's not that he never had friends, but after a certain point... he kind of just shut off. Things got hard for him and his dad, so he just simply didn't have the energy for friendships anymore. He then noticed Fluttershy, who was still standing there.

"I'll have some coffee." she said warmly. "It seems like you needed some company."

"Oh! Um - yeah, lemme get you hooked up!" Joey managed breathlessly as he began to fumble around to get her a cup. She took a seat at the table, humming until he set a steaming mug in front of her.

"Thank you." she said sweetly.

"Cream?"

"Oh yes, please."

Joey began to put the cold foods in the fridge as Fluttershy continued to hum. She then looked at him. "Have you had any pets before, Joey?"

"A couple, although only one of them was actually mine." he replied as he put the last of the vegetables inside and closed the door. "My family had a cat for a while, her name was Indigo. Just a normal grey one, I'm not sure what breed they called it. In college I had a parrot, his name was blue."

"Oh, I love birds!" Fluttershy gushed. "What kind of parrot was it?"

"A green cheek, I think? Gorgeous blue one. Got him when he was six months old..." he trailed off, standing over the coffee machine as he had remembered something quite unpleasant.

"Did... something happen to him?" Fluttershy asked.

Joey sighed, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "Yeah... actually, yeah. Heart attack. I had him for a year, and then one day while I was doing homework, he started struggling and... well, died in my hand."

Fluttershy gasped. Joey shook his head as he sat across from her at the table.

"It's not that big of a deal anymore." Joey reassured her. "As it turns out it was gonna happen anyway. Genetics. Apparently some birds die young like that, according to the vet. It was really sad, but dammit the little guy definitely lived a really good year with me."

Fluttershy looked like she wanted to cry, but instead she gave him a watery smile and sipped her coffee. "I'm so sorry to hear that. I've had animals pass away too, so I understand. You seemed to have handled it really well."

"As well as I probably could have, anyway." Joey chuckled nervously. He had intentionally omitted that the day poor Blue had died was his birthday; the story was sad enough as it is.

"My mom always told me that the way somepony treats the creatures who are weaker and need help says a lot about who they are on the inside." Fluttershy said wisely.

"Heh, so true. Same goes for how they treat waiters." Joey joked. Scrunching up his face he did his best impression of an annoying customer. "Excuse me, this soup is three and a half degrees cold! Let me see your manager!"

Fluttershy laughed. The joke felt kind of weak to Joey in all honesty, but a laugh was a laugh.

The two of them continued talking some more, and Joey learned that coincidentally Fluttershy was very good friends with Pinkie and Applejack too (he was reassured by the pegasus that Applejack wouldn't harbor any bitter feelings towards him for what he had said the previous day). He was told about the other two friends in their circle, a daredevil and a fashionista. Weird flex, but okay. Opposites attract sometimes.

Finally Fluttershy looked at the clock and let out a squeak of alarm, causing Joey to smack his knee on the underside of the table. "Oh no!!!! The meeting!! Joey, we need to get to the castle!"

Joey groaned. "Castle?"

Fluttershy gently nudged the young man to his feet and out the door. As he locked it behind him, he took a deep breath. "Alright, where is this castle?" As he asked this, he saw the very large, crystalline structure resembling a tree on the other side of town and felt very stupid in that instant.

"We'll be late if we walk..." Fluttershy hummed nervously. It was so weird to see her with this much energy after the first impression from not even an hour ago. She turned to him and asked, "Can you ride?"

"Ride, as in ride your back?" he asked incredulously. He was a whole head and shoulders taller than the average pony. "You can't be serious."

"Don't worry, I'll be very gentle." she said with a reassuring smile.

"That's not what I'm worried about..." Joey groaned as he conceded. Weirdly enough she seemed to hold his weight exceptionally well as he took his seat. This was fucking weird.

"Hold on!" she advised, flapping her wings. Lift off. This was also when Joey realized that he had never been on the back of any equine creature ever. Not a good time to remember this factoid.

The entirety of the very short flight was a blur, for most of it he simply tried to focus on holding tight. They landed outside the doors, where the other humans stood with amused expressions. Joey dismounted, feeling his face burn with embarrassment.

"What the hell was that?" Bill guffawed. "There's no way you came here like that!"

"Shut your damn mouth!" Joey hissed quietly as he approached them. Fluttershy didn't seem to understand what the fuss was about.

The snickers from the others died down as the large double doors opened to reveal Twilight and two other unicorn-pegasus ponies - no, scratch that. They were each the size of horses. The largest was a white one, while the slightly smaller one to her right was a deep navy blue. The crowns on their heads couldn't have been more obvious giveaways, these were the other princesses.

All of them had humongous bags under their eyes. He felt the same surge of respect he had experienced back at the house rise up again.

"Thank you all for coming." the larger one said in a calming regal voice. "Let's take this conversation indoors."

The group followed the three royal figures down a large hall and into a huge room. An enormous crystal table dominated the room, surrounded by many chairs of the same make. Joey recognized most of the ponies sitting in them - Applejack, Pinkie, and now Fluttershy was taking her place among them - as well as two more. Joey assumed they were Dash and Rarity, the last two of that aforementioned friend group.

There were some other chairs that had been pulled up for the humans. There were only four however.

Twilight noticed Joey awkwardly standing there and gasped. "I'm sorry, Joey!" A chair materialized out of thin air.

As he took his seat, he had caught the gaze of the darker princess. "So this is the last of you! I confess I haven't learned your name before this, Joey." she said apologetically. "I am Princess Luna, and this is my sister."

As she gestured to the white princess, her sister smiled. "I am Princess Celestia. I'm hoping you are feeling alright? That was quite the scare when you arrived."

"I'm feeling fine..." Joey said in a small voice. So many eyes on him at once, this was super awkward. "It could have been way worse."

"We are glad to see you in good health." Celestia said warmly. She then stood up and cleared her throat, and now all eyes were on her.

Joey swallowed, feeling anxious.

"I will begin with the good news." Celestia began. "Unfortunately, there is little in terms of it. Twilight, my sister, and myself have all been working tirelessly for a fix to the gateway. The only good news we can offer is that we haven't concluded that it can't be done. There is some hope."

Joey looked at the others humans, all of whom exchanged nervous glances with one another. That was the good news?

Celestia took a deep, almighty breath, clearly preparing herself. "The bad news is that our window is extremely small. We will have a full moon in a week, and if a connection to your home hasn't been established, then... well..."

"We'll be stuck here... forever?" Ginger asked meekly.

Celestia closed her eyes and nodded, which caused the table to gasp quietly (except for the princesses). "I do not want to give you false hope. It is looking less likely we will be able to succeed with every passing day. There are some parts of the Machine we fear maybe be irreplaceable. The chances are low."

There was a deathly silence.

The white diarch then frowned determinedly. "I will swear to each and every one of you, however, that as long as there is any chance at all I will fight as hard as I can to send you home." Her colleagues also seemed to share this fierce ideal.

"But... what happens if we can't go home?" Andre asks. "What will we do?"

Celestia looked deeply into each of their eyes, including Joey's. "I can promise you we will do everything in our power to provide you with the means to have a good life here. That is at the very least absolutely certain."

The other ponies all joined in with a determined murmur. Joey was having a hard time processing this... he knew they all would be.

"We can throw a 'Cheer up the Humans' party!!!" Pinkie squeaked, beginning to bounce up and down in her seat at the very idea.

"Pinkie!" Twilight scolded. "I don't think that's-"

"I for one think that is a lovely idea, Pinkamena." Celestia intervened. "A party won't indeed fix anything, but at the very least it will be a welcome distraction for our poor friends."

The pink mare saluted the princess. "I will start preparing right after we're done! Heehee!"

Somehow, her giggles didn't feel insulting. It almost seemed to bring life to the seemingly dead room. Joey couldn't help but smirk ever so slightly at her disposition.

Celestia sighed. "With all that in mind, we will call another meeting at the end of the week. I'm dearly hoping it will be a happier one."

Luna wrapped a wing around her sister to comfort her. For some reason Joey felt a twinge of sadness as he watched this happen.

As the humans cleared out, none of them said a word. Twilight's friends had gotten right to comforting them as much as they could. Joey trailed a little ways behind them, staring blankly as he walked down the front steps. He felt a wing catch his shoulder and he looked around to see Celestia.

"I am truly sorry I haven't been able to meet with you sooner. Have you managed to get accumulated at all?" she asked, looking at him intently.

"Too soon to tell, I think. Thank you, though, your highness." he replied, bowing his head slightly.

"Just Celestia, please." she insisted firmly. "Twilight mentioned your kind words to us. That level of understanding is very meaningful to us, thank you."

"I just had someone who taught me well. It really isn't any trouble." Joey said, thinking of his dad smiling at him from his hospital bed. "I know it isn't easy for you all, you all look exhausted. It's the least I can do to show thanks."

She smiled at him, and this time it felt truly genuine - a real moment of exposure. Her eyes seemed to search within his own, though, and then dilated ever so slightly. "Please know you won't walk alone, no matter what happens. I promise."

Joey finally managed a smile himself. "Thank you princ- I mean, Celestia."

---

Pinkie had reserved the town's pub for the party that night. This struck Joey as a little weird, since he never really imagined the ponies here to be alcohol consumers.

For the most part it was relatively tame. There was a snack table of course, and all the drinks were paid for. Many tables had been moved out of the middle to make room for a small dance floor, but there were still many places to sit around the edges of the room.

Joey had relatively high hopes for this one. Despite the weird invitation business with that dinner party the others had attended without him the day before, this felt like a real chance to make connections. Maybe even friends. Making small talk was easy with some of the ponies that attended, and he made sure to ask them lots of questions about themselves. This was a golden rule for getting to know others, it showed them value.

However as much as this strategy did just that, it seemed to do only just that. It wasn't like whoever he was talking to wanted to avoid him. A bit of the opposite, really - he answered plenty of questions regarding the explosion. After talking about the topic briefly though, they would just seem to grow uninterested. Not in the blatantly rude way, it was usually in a way where they would politely excuse themselves because there was someone (or somepony) they wanted to go talk to instead. No hard feelings.

It started to wear on Joey after this happened the eleventh time. Of course his confidence began to wane after the sixth ended conversation, but he wasn't going to give up that easily.

After the sixteenth snub, he finally accepted the fact that he simply wasn't that terribly interesting to others. Unfortunate. He took a seat at the bar and ordered a pint of whatever they had on tap. He might as well have a drink while they were free, he felt like he at least deserved this after many disappointing attempts to socialize. Not failures per se, just... disappointments.

Still, he found himself sitting next to Bill and Andre of all people.

"Whaddya think? Nice place, right?" he asked Bill.

Bill looked over and offered a weak smile in return. "Yeah, kind of reminds you of a Dungeons and Dragons tavern doesn't it?"

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" Joey said enthusiastically, raising his eyebrows. "So when do we find that brooding elf character in the corner that's gonna send us on a quest to find his missing sock?"

Bill sharply picked up on the joke. "Ah crap... he's not here?? He must have missed his cue. Maybe our Dungeon Master just sucks at his job."

"Yeah, you hear that!?" Joey called out as if speaking to some sort of deity that was listening in. The two of them shared a laugh.

Bill ordered two more drinks after Joey finished his own.

Feeling his spirits rise, he began to reminisce about his own fun (but nerdy) experiences with the game. He began recalling the story out loud to Bill about how his character had once given a child a rusty knife by accident when a couple of ponies butted in.

"You would do that?" one of the asked, looking put off.

"What-? No, it was just in a fantasy game." Joey explained. "Who would actually -?"

"Bill, is it true you got a job as an actual actor in a play back in your world?" the other pony asked, completely ignoring Joey. The one who had butted in also turned his attention towards Bill.

"Well it wasn't exactly a job, I was just lucky." Bill answered sheepishly.

"Really? You never told me." Joey said raising his eyebrows. "What play wa-"

"What was the play about?" the second pony asked again. She may have well just told Joey unintentionally to fuck off.

Bill then answered her question without missing a beat, as if Joey hadn't even made a sound. That one hurt a little bit. Trying not to be bitter, Joey decided to call it quits socially and resigned himself to a table on the far wall. It was hard not to brood as he worked on his drink, which had started to taste a lot more bitter than it had earlier.

As he sat, he slowly wondered if things would have been different if he had never gone to the hospital. Yeah, that had to be it. Right? Then maybe he could be sitting somewhere talking happily with someone, or somepony, like Bill was talking with those other two (one had even taken the vacant seat where Joey had been moments before).

Looking around, Joey realized that all of his peers were in similar company. Company that seemed to actively want to be around them. He stared at his feet, trying to ignore the feeling of loneliness that had begun to seep into his own thoughts.

He heard a chair move next to him, and he looked to see the posh looking mare - Rarity - take a seat.

She smiled at him. "Can you remind me of your name, darling? I'm terribly sorry, I haven't had the chance to talk with you yet."

"Joey. Also don't worry about it, I understand." he responded with his own smile. It was a bit awkward that he was now being approached.

"Right then!" she chirped. "So Joey, darling, how have you been holding up with the news?"

"About as well as the rest of them." he replied evasively. The last thing he wanted to do was to garner any sympathy he didn't need. It was equally painful for all of them in different ways, he wasn't going to try to one-up their anxiety. That would have been extraordinarily cringe worthy.

She did give him a sad look before looking out worriedly at the others. "I can't imagine... the thoughts of being... well. Saying it probably doesn't help, I'm awfully sorry."

"Don't be." Joey stated matter-of-factly. "It sucks, but that's just the reality of it. I don't like it any more than they do, but it would feel dumb to sneak around it."

Rarity stared at him, then back out at the others again. She hummed in thought for a couple moments, then suddenly stood up again. "It was splendid meeting you, darling. I do hope you'll be able to relax throughout this coming week. Stress can make somepony forget to take care of themselves."

Aaaaaaaand she was gone, leaving Joey blinking at what just happened. He downed his pint and got up. This party wasn't getting any better. He ordered another from the counter, downed it, and left. He had been so inside his own head that he didn't even realize he had pounded down three pints of alcohol.

Pinkie stopped him on the way out of the door as he stepped into the street. He managed to shake her off, insisting that he was tired, and that seemed to be good enough for her. As he trudged back to the borrowed home, he wondered that if he had been one of the others, maybe she would have showed more concern.

The walk went from bleary, to fuzzy, to dizzy. Fortunately by then he had made it back and wasted no time getting to the toilet. He would spend the next two hours knelt there, heaving up anything he had eaten in the last four hours. Feeling more miserable than he had in a good long while, he managed to climb into bed where he finally blacked out.

Hopefully things would change. After tonight, however, he was not so certain anymore.

Comments

[TheAbsoluteRadiance]

She smiled at him, and this time it felt truly genuine - a real moment of exposure. Her eyes seemed to search within his own, though, and then dilated ever so slightly. "Please know you won't walk alone, no matter what happens. I promise."

Proof of some foreign influence of some kind?

[Diamondized]

"As well as I probably could have, anyway." Joey chuckled nervously. He had intentionally omitted that the day poor Blue had died was his birthday; the story was sad enough as it is.

Lady Luck must have hella beef with Joey. Considering his lot in life, he's incredibly optimistic.

[Orrm]

She smiled at him, and this time it felt truly genuine - a real moment of exposure. Her eyes seemed to search within his own, though, and then dilated ever so slightly. "Please know you won't walk alone, no matter what happens. I promise."

Wheeze

[LoserkidUwU]

Man, life is being cruel to joey. :(

[Animal]

“The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence!”

[Cynical Page]

11794572
ooo that's a good one

[AgentKorpsman]

11793924
Teeneezch/ discord maybe

[Skrepka]

Thanks for the chapter!