Me, Myself and I

by Cynical Page

Prologue

The Grand Galloping Gala.

Without question the most prestigious, awarded social gathering the world had to offer. To be invited was exceedingly rare; on most occasions those who were especially gifted or had some sort of close relationship to any royalty received invitation.

In other words, if you are here, you were special. Almost.

At an empty table in the corner of the room there sat a human. His face was hard to read, but at a glance nopony could have guessed that the young man had even a single thought behind those watchful eyes. Not watchful in the eerie sense, mind you, simply watchful of the interesting scenarios playing out before him.

His hair was nicely combed, which was difficult with how long it had grown. It was a deep brown, or "dark chocolatey" as a certain pink mare had once said. By any human standard he had a handsome face, with a sturdy jawline (but not to a ridiculous extent). He was thin, but not unhealthy, and decently tall as far as twenty-one year olds go. He had a five o' clock shadow running across his cheeks to his chin, looking well maintained.

Well, he was at the Gala. It would have to be.

His name was Joey Belfort. As mentioned previously, twenty one years old. Fascination for cinema, writing, anything to do with entertaining folks. Not that anyone (or pony especially) seemed to care. To others he was simply Joey at best. More often than not he had caught ponies whom he had previously met forget his name.

He sat there sipping a lemon drop martini, which he was impartial to despite it being a very fine quality. His thoughts were nothing pleasant as he watched the party go on. Why was he invited again? Just because he was part of that group? As if being stranded here for good wasn't bad enough.

He eyed a mare nearby that had the most ridiculous hair dress he had ever laid eyes on. Big, tall, and well... goofy. He fought back a chuckle. Thank fuck he wasn't taking a sip of his drink. As much as he didn't care to be there, he wanted to act civil.

His gaze drifted over to a small crowd of ponies surrounding a couple other humans. One was a giddy looking African American kid named Bill. His short stature reminded Joey of that of a hobbit. He was only five foot four, but his jolly nature and love for food really helped drive the thought home. His friends had an affectionate nickname for him, "Boiler," which was a long story in the making.

The other human in the throng was a very pretty girl with a very calm and collected nature. Maybe it was just the party, but Joey didn't really pay attention to her more than that. Funnily enough, her name and hair color went hand in hand - "Ginger".

The excited group of ponies surrounding them were most likely throwing question after question at the two humans. It was hard to hear from where he was sitting, but it seemed like Bill and Ginger were soaking it all up and enjoying themselves. Good on them, honestly.

There were two others - five humans in total who had come on a study from their world including Joey - all of whom were now stuck in this place, with no way back home. Not being able to see your family ever again? Joey could only imagine how the others felt. They had families they planned on returning to. Now, it was just themselves.

An image of his father's grinning face swam to the forefront of his mind. His chest seized with a small pain, he didn't want to think about his late father. Not right now, anyway. It wasn't the time and place for that.

As the minutes dragged on, Joey only grew more antsy. Any time they would have the speech. They would announce the sad circumstance surrounding the human group. Then his suspicions would be somewhat put to rest.

You see, out of the university students that had arrived in Equestria, four of them were already a tight-knit group of friends. Joey was not one of them, but he didn't fault them for it. Building friendships take time, and he had only known Bill and known of Ginger before he signed up for this trip.

They were here to document, study, and experience the various cultures around this weird yet fascinating place. Joey, being a major in... something, tagged along to catch footage for their eventual documentary. In terms of the project he was just as important as the rest of them, but after the incident... he fell out of the loop.

He made sure to be approachable and initiate conversation with anyone and anypony at the beginning. He quickly became paranoid of being invisible to others as the days turned to weeks. He was getting left out of activities, he would always be the last one to leave a social gathering, and on a few occasions (though not often) he was flat out ignored because something more interesting had been said or happening at the time.

Even the Princesses themselves seemed to be dimly aware of his existence at times. It was hard to tell with them, obviously they weren't going to give special treatment to anyone. It might of been his jealous imagination, but he could have sworn that the other humans had received a lot more sympathy than he did when the incident happened.

He looked down and realized he hadn't noticed before, but his hands were trembling. Maybe blood sugar deficiency? He hadn't been eating as well as he should have recently.

An orange mare accidentally bumped into him, knocking him out of his thoughts. He instinctively yelped "Sorry!"

"Awe, don't worry about it partner!" the mare replied in a heavy southern accent. Joey quickly recognized her to be Applejack, the so-dubbed Element of Honesty. "I shoulda been lookin' where I was - oh, howdy there!" She had just gotten to look at him and seemed to recognize him.

This small detail made Joey's mood lift slightly. "Oh! Um - hi."

"Ooooh, darn it!!" the country mare exclaimed, frowning in thought as she looked at him. "There are only five of yas, and I can never remember yer name!" She looked a little apologetic, but that didn't stop Joey's mood from sinking twice as low than it had been before.

"It's Rufus." he said sarcastically, intentionally trying to mask his tone of voice.

"Oh! Rufus! Sorry about that!" she giggled sheepishly.

Joey pursed his lip, wondering whether or not he should correct her. How did he manage to fool her if she was the Element of Honesty? His poker face couldn't have been that good. He simply downed the martini and stood up. "Don't sweat it." he said curtly, before walking away from the confused farm pony.

Just be non-confrontational. Non-confrontational!!! He wanted another drink.

As he had finally managed to chase down a hostess and claim another beverage, the sound of a clinking glass resonated throughout the Royal Hall. The room quickly fell quiet, and Joey found himself awkwardly in the middle of the room. As he began to make his way to the nearest wall, Princess Celestia's warm regal voice filled the room. It carried well from her position at the top of the grand staircase.

"Welcome all to another Gala! My dear friends, I thank you for all making it another enjoyable one!" She smiled warmly as the crowd applauded. Joey joined in by habit.

When the room fell silent, the Princess continued. "Now we must address the elephant in the room. The business of our human friends." Aside from a couple murmurs the room was deathly silent. Many turned there gaze to the aforementioned humans, including a couple towards Joey himself. He was still a human, after all.

"I am aware of the rumors circling their situation, and I regret to inform you that it is true. Due to unfortunate circumstances, there is no possible way for them to return home." Celestia wore a grim expression as she said these things. She paused for a moment. Whispers and quiet gasps had erupted around the room. Clearly this was extremely hard for the princess to say.

Joey caught sight of the other two humans, Andre and Clara. The prior was a large, handsome Hispanic man while the latter was a quieter Caucasian girl with glasses and short straight hair that fell to her neck. Their expressions, understandably, were rigid. None of what Celestia had announced was news to any of them, but that didn't make it any less painful to hear.

Joey hadn't felt this anxious in a long time. He had to shove his hands in his pockets so nopony would see them trembling, which had now grown even more noticeable.

"As we are heartbroken that they will never return to their families, as proud citizens and leaders of Equestria we will help these five live to their fullest!!!" Celestia boomed with a determined look.

Joey's heart lifted as a the room roared in approval of these words. The princess said five. Not four - FIVE. Maybe he was being crazy after all!

Celestia managed to bring the room back under control. "I would like to recognize each of them individually. Please come up the stairs when I call your name! First among them is Andre!"

With a sheepish smile Andre made his way to the staircase as the ponies around him applauded.

As Celestia called the other three to the stage, Joey found himself equally nervous and excited. It may have been childish, but his feelings of going unnoticed weren't unreasonable. He grinned at each of his human compatriots, though they didn't look his way, he was happy for them.

Then, finally, the Princess opened her mouth to speak again. Joey's heart leapt into his throat.

Before she could make a sound, Clara slipped on one of the stairs and nearly fell. Luna caught her with her magic as a huge gasp echoed around the room. The poor girl seemed to have had a few too many drinks as she struggled to stand up straight. Princess Celesta let out a tinkling laugh and the room relaxed, a fair few even joining with some chuckles of their own.

"Thank you for listening to my speech, my little ponies!" the Princess rang. "That is all for now, but first a toast to the humans standing here on the stairs with me!" The throng cheered and those who had drinks raised their glasses. No one even noticed the last human slip out a side door to the balcony.

Joey placed downed his drink in one go and leaned over the banister, trying to calm himself with the peaceful nighttime view of Canterlot. His heart began to race, blood pounding in his ears.

They forgot him. They... forgot him.

He couldn't bring himself to any emotion other than shock. Why did it hit him this hard? There's no way he was going to waltz up to them and announce their mistake. He wasn't going to look even more pitiful than he probably did now.

Time became a blur. He had no idea how long he had been standing there. He didn't look up until he felt a finger tap on his shoulder. He found Bill standing there, beaming, with a glass.

"Whatcha doing out here by yourself, man? Can't celebrate on your own!" He rang out playfully. Good ol' Bill.

"Can't I?" Joey muttered to himself. His vision was a little blurry now.

"What?" Bill asked. His smile faltered a little.

"Oh - nothing." Joey replied quickly. He had to hold it together. "So, um - that was some speech, huh?" NO!!! Why did he have to mention it now?? Stupid! Stupid!

Bill shrugged. "It was kind of nice, you know? Especially when she..." Any trace of a smile left his face as his expression changed to one of grim understanding. "Wait... they forgot-"

"No they didn't." Joey hissed, startling Bill.

He looked super worried now.

Fuck you and your stupid mouth, Joey he thought to himself. "I'm not worried about it Bill. Please don't make a fuss out of it. As a matter of fact, just fucking forget it, okay?"

Bill seemed absolutely lost for words. Joey seized is opportunity and pushed past the closest thing he had to a friend, leaving poor Bill to stand there alone with two drinks in hand.

He'll be surrounded by sympathizers any second now anyway, he thought bitterly as he discreetly made his way through the party. Once he reached a hallway with a smaller number of ponies, he withdrew his hands from his pockets. The pounding in his head was louder than ever, and now there was a new pain in his chest. He had to leave. Where would he go? Back to the borrowed home in Ponyville?

Thinking of no better alternative, he made his way to the castle front doors. He must have looked awful, because one of the maids at the door called to him.

"Sir, are you alright? Should I call an ambulance?" she asked nervously. Joey refused her as politely as he could, wishing for fresh air. Before she could protest he was down the front stairs and quickly walking away from the Gala.

The walk to the train station was a blur. He barely managed to exchange the bits he had left for a ticket with how hard his hands were trembling. Fortunately nopony was going to travel back to Ponyville at this hour during the Gala, so he had a train car to himself. He took his seat and buried his face in his hands, panting and trying to calm down. What was wrong with him? Was he not good enough? Did he do something wrong since coming here? Did they... hate him?

Grabbing handfuls of hair he tried to breathe deeply and think back to where this whole debacle had started. Right from the very beginning. As he felt his conscience begin to fade away, he tried to remember.

Author's Note:

idk how often I'll update this

Comments

[LoserkidUwU]

Interesting...

[TheAbsoluteRadiance]

This is hitting me deep as someone who has Invisibility disease.

[Davenfjeld]

oof

[Demonic Lemon]

YESTERDAY IT SEEMS, EVEN THOUGH I NEVER EXISTED
DEATH GREETS ME WARM, NOW I THINK IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE (GOODBYE)

[Bossypants]

I will follow this with interest...

[KindaTired]

As he began to make his way to the nearest wall

He couldn't bring himself to any emotion other than shock. Why did it hit him this hard? There's no way he was going to waltz up to them and announce their mistake. He wasn't going to look even more pitiful than he probably did now.

Ouch, this story is already way more relatable than I would have liked, I'm gonna have a hard time reading this.