Me, Myself and I

by Cynical Page


10 - The Mare on the Mat

Things seemed to be going to well to be true for Joey. Or that might just be his pessimistic attitude after everything else that had happened to him up until that point.

As much as he didn't want to spend money, he purchased a mattress as well as some pillows and blankets. Sleep could be easily overlooked, but if he wanted to succeed he at to at least make it some sort of a priority. Food would also be a problem. There wasn't much he could afford right now, especially after how expensive the bedding was. Rent wasn't terribly expensive either, but it still left his pockets relatively empty.

Today would be his first shift, and he was rather excited to get started. Not excited for the job itself, but what it stood for. A new beginning. There would be difficulties, more than he had currently for sure, but he was ready for them. There was something about no one knowing you in a new place that can really make a difference.

He walked down the sidewalk towards the entertainment district, still soaking in the new atmosphere. No one was really staring anymore, everyone seemed to be more concerned about what they were doing rather than what anyone else might be up to. That had to just be part of the charm of the big city.

Right on the border between districts he passed by a decrepit building that looked like it had once been a studio or rehearsal ground of some sort. It was mostly made of brick, but arched in a half-circle shape. Though it was quite overgrown, Joey could tell that it might have been a special place once upon a time. The streets in this area were a lot less crowded. In fact, there was barely anyone here.

He continued walking. He glanced at his phone, it was eleven forty six. At this rate he was going to be early.

"You call yourself a grown mare? You play with bucking dolls!" a voice jeered near him. He looked up to see a couple of young looking, well dressed stallions gathered around a unicorn mare who was sitting on the ground. As he drew closer he could see that she was sitting on a mat, and there were indeed various dolls scattered about in front of her.

"Please don't squish them..." she pleaded weakly as one of the stallions stepped onto one of her dolls. They seemed to be made of some sort of clay.

"Oh, please." the other stallion snorted. He had a tan coat and blonde mane, with a pair of circular rimmed glasses resting on his nose. "You can hardly call this a show. Go get a real job, sweetie." The pair cackled while the mare didn't seem to know how to respond.

"Careful gents, don't want to be late for your nine to five!" Joey sighed, not really intending to get involved. It did piss him off slightly that even ponies could pick on the weak.

The duo turned around and nearly yelped at the sight of him. "What the buck are you?"

"Does it matter? Go bother someone else." Joey groaned. "I'll bet you fuckers don't even read the news."

One of them looked confused and muttered, "'Fuckers'? Huh?"

The other didn't miss a beat. "No time for newspapers when you work at the most reputable and up-and-coming movie studio in the nation!!"

"That makes no sense, but you do you." Joey sighed, coming to a stop as the two stepped out in front of him.

"What would an ape know about that, though?" one of them sneered. He was a pegasus and also had a relatively boring color scheme; his mane and fur were both grey.

"Wow, creative. I bet they'll give you a raise if you pitch that idea to your boss." Joey quipped back. "For all that bragging your doing, why would you feel the need to pick on someone else? Perhaps you're trying to compensate for something?"

"What are you trying to say?" the blonde one said, dropping his voice suddenly to an icy tone.

Joey shrugged. "Hey, if I struck a cord than it was truth. Though I wouldn't try to pick a fight right now."

"Oh? You scared?" the grey one chuckled nastily.

"Me? Nah. Never been a fighter." Joey admitted. "Although that cop on the street corner over there was looking real bored up until a few seconds ago."

Both of them wheeled around to see that Joey wasn't lying. A police officer that had been lazily leaning on a streetlight moments before was now staring directly at them with a raised eyebrow.

"...Whatever, monkey." the blonde one scoffed. "C'mon, Greyfeather. Let's get out of here."

"Greyfeather, nice. Your parents really went to the drawing board for that one." Joey snarked with a slight grin. He really shouldn't have poked the bear then, but it felt nice to have the upper hand for once.

'Greyfeather' (ha) looked livid but his friend tugged him away. Casting anxious looks at the policemare, they trotted off.

"Thank you... I thought my stuff would be ruined." the mare on the mat said sadly, lifting the squished clay doll up carefully. With a heavy sigh she stowed it away in a satchel that leaned against her. Her light blue mane had streaks of white, but it looked a bit unkempt. Her coat was periwinkle, which oddly complemented her mane.

"What are you doing with clay dolls?" Joey asked curiously. He too thought it looked pretty stupid at first glance, but he was going to keep that to himself. "You just playing with them, or...?"

"Oh, these? Just a little bit of a magic show I guess..." she replied half heartedly.

Looking at her expression, Joey felt a lump in his throat. It was all too familiar, it was the look of someone who was downtrodden and neglected. Feeling a surge of compassion, he sat down across from her much to her surprise. "Can you show me?"

"You - you want to see?" she asked hesitantly, staring at him with big eyes.

"Show me what you got." he pressed on encouragingly.

She perked up a bit and sat up a little taller. "O-Okay, here I go!" she exclaimed nervously as she lit up her horn. Looking down at the clay pony dolls, Joey saw something that absolutely rocked his world.

They began to move. Not in the puppet-like way he had expected to see, but these dolls came alive - they seemed to breathe, move, and obey the laws of physics as if they were real live miniature ponies. His jaw dropped as she made them dance across the mat in front of them. It was elegant, smooth, effortless -real.

"Holy shit... this is unreal." Joey muttered. He was lost for words. There was no way to put it lightly - this went far beyond puppeteer work. This had to have been a bonafide talent. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"My grandmother taught me how before she died." the mare reminisced, bringing her little show to an end. She looked a lot more "It's my special calling, see?" She moved her flank into a position to show off a what looked like a tattoo of some sort. It was a puppet surrounded by musical notes.

"I've seen those. Do all ponies have those tattoo thingies?" Joey asked.

She giggled. "They aren't tattoos, silly. They're cutie marks!"

"Cutie... marks?" Joey repeated. Tattoo sounded so much better.

"They magically appear when somepony finds their special talent." she said proudly, looking back her own fondly. She turned to look up at Joey as he stood up again. "Oh, um - I didn't catch your name?"

"Me? I'm Joey." he responded, extending his hand.

"Minty." she replied, now beaming.

"So sorry, but I really need to get going." Joey insisted. "Actually, here -" he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small handful of bits, "- take these. It's not much, but I don't really have much."

"Oh no, I couldn't - " Minty began, but Joey was already walking away with a wave. She smiled, watching him grow smaller with distance.

"Thank you, Joey."


Working once again felt nice. It was even better to work in the back of the shop. Currently Joey was looking at the new incoming product. The store owner, Marble Moon, had given him a checklist. Seems that rather than a clerk he was more of a shop assistant. The tasks he had found himself doing so far after four hours were far more diverse than what he had been expecting.

"Hey, Joe! Can you restock the snowglobe shelf?" Marble's voice called from the front.

"Yeah, gimme a minute. How low are we looking?" Joey called back, scratching off the new shipment of bucket hats off the list. The merchandise sold here was amusing; it was the exact kind of stuff you'd expect to find at any random souvenir shop for any attraction... ever.

"We only have two left!" Marble replied. "Sooner rather than later would be appreciated!"

"No worries, I'm on it." Joey submitted, putting down the list. It was honestly busier here than he had expected, which explained the twenty bits an hour pay rate.

The only gripe Joey had was that he was still expected to work the register when needed. Thankfully it felt different this time since it was a small shop, so he wouldn't be stuck there like he was back at Walmart. The ponies were nice enough - some of them were frightened when they first saw him, others were extremely curious (those were the ones that had actually kept up on the news).

Finally it was lunch break, which unfortunately for Joey didn't necessarily mean food. He had given his lunch money to Minty. He didn't regret it in the slightest, but if his stomach had a mouth it definitely would have had some choice words. He opted to sit in the small break room in the back and have a cup of coffee instead.

It was a nice little area, with a round table in the center taking up most of the small area. A small counter wrapped around the corner on the opposite wall, complete with a small refrigerator. The seat was a little small, but Joey made do.

Lunch break passed. Marble went to take his own lunch break, so Joey was on his own for the next who knows how long. He could probably manage, but being left alone on the first day? Yikes.

Fortunately not a single soul came to visit while Marble was gone, which turned out to be a whole hour. Joey didn't do much except camp behind the register, he had no idea what to do. Things picked up again once the owner returned, and Joey was once again given a simple but busy to-do list for back end work.

There honestly wasn't much to say for the rest of the work day. Joey finished his list, Marble gleefully praised it (even though it was basic as hell, the poor guy probably just needed some help), and sent Joey on his way back home.

As he walked home, he reflected on how silly his initial anxiety about working here seemed now that he had finished his first full day. Maybe it was just an outlier having a day this good, or maybe he had bad luck in Ponyville. Either way, he wondered if ponies could really be that bad. He wouldn't be slinging his trust around like an idiot, of course, but liking them was a different thing entirely.

Now that he thought about it, who did he trust? Celestia? Maybe, though that final letter she sent to him really pissed him off. Cadance? Hard to say, she seemed nice enough but he barely knew the pink princess. He hadn't talked to Luna at all. Twilight, no. The way she defended Clara ruined any chance of trust forming.

What about her friends? Pinkie Pie was definitely a loose cannon, so hell no. Rarity and Applejack were pretty cool, but they seemed to be a wild card on the whole Clara situation. It was still unbelievable that she hadn't been reprimanded more at the very least. Maybe that was just his bitter side speaking.

He hadn't ever talked with Rainbow Dash, so it would be unfair to lump her in with the others. Even if it bit him in the ass, he always made sure to at least give the unknown a chance - or at least, that's what his dad had taught him. Of course there were things he disagreed with his dad on, but after his leukemia diagnosis he began to be a lot more... intent. Inspired? What was the word for it?

At any rate, life has a funny way of making things seem so invaluable right before you know you're about to lose them. Especially those most precious to you.


Princess Luna gazed down at the town of Ponyville from her stargazing balcony in Canterlot. Thoughts swirled in her mind as she tried to calm herself before entering the dream world. It was harder than usual, since much had happened.

Celestia had been a mess. It seemed like the situation for one of the humans had grown too dire, and now he was suddenly nowhere to be found. She seemed to somehow blame herself for it, and despite putting on a strong face as always, Luna was quite shocked when the solar princess had bawled into her arms over dinner.

Just what had happened to poor Mr. Belfort? Luna had never talked with him personally, but she remembered that look he seemed to always have that she knew all too well. After all, she used to look in the mirror one thousand years ago and see it every single night.

He was in pain, and he did an amazing job of hiding it. All Celestia had told her after her personal meeting with the young human was that he had experienced a lot of loss. She was very careful to let Luna know that his past was his own to open up about, since trust here was crucial.

Still, for Celestia to cry about his disappearance... Luna would be on the lookout tonight in the dream realm. If Joey was alright, then she should be able to speak with him as long as he was... well, dreaming.

Usually matters with her subjects did not affect her too greatly, but for some reason this in particular was tugging on her heartstrings.


Joey had never driven so recklessly in his life. He had managed to nearly wreck his car seven times as he rushed to the local hospital. Two stopsigns, three red lights (how he hadn't been pulled over yet, he had no fucking clue), and two near misses with the same pickup truck. He somehow pulled into the parking lot unscathed.

The trip from the car to his dad's room in the ICU was a blur. They called him telling his old man was in his final moments as he was finishing up his midterms; the rest is history.

This couldn't be happening. This couldn't be happening.

Joey rushed into the room where his dad had been staying. The once bright, hearty-looking Jeffery Belfort was now a very frail shell of his former self. He was practically a skeleton.

"Dad - dad, I got a call..." Joey panted, feeling his innards boil in a panicked frenzy. His father looked up at him with an apologetic smile. "No... no..."

"Son, you're just the man I wanted to see. Come, come." his father beckoned. Behind the sickly, weak voice was that warm tone the man was known so well for. Joey knelt by the bedside, hardly knowing what to say.

"Dad..." was all he could manage.

"Joey, don't give me that. I've had a wonderful life. I will never forget the blessings I've been given." Jeff reached out a hand and placed it to Joey's cheek. "The things I've been able to experience. I remember when you were just a tiny little boy. Remember the way you used to poke holes in the neighbor's fence so you could talk to their dog?"

"Yeah... y-yeah, I remember..." Joey replied, gulping. He couldn't cry right now. He had to be strong.

"Now look at you..." his dad continued, his eyes glittering with pride. "You are turning into a wonderful young man. I don't think I did too shabby, eh?" He laughed, which quickly turned into a nasty cough.

"Careful, dad!" Joey scolded.

His dad sighed, which came out as more of a pitiful wheeze. "Death is just part of life, Joe. If I had a choice, I would remain with you until the end of time - but that's not how it works. Life hasn't been kind to us, and it certainly hasn't been kind to you. But listen to me, Joey - if anyone could come out on top after this, it's you."

"I'll be alone..." Joey sighed, looking down at the floor. "I've always had you... I'm scared, dad... I don't want to be alone..."

Jeff gave his son's shoulder a squeeze. "Joey... I know this is going to be hard on you. I'm not going to tell you that it'll be easy. You are going to go far, son, dammit! I've watched the way you've worked and studied after your mother and siblings passed. It was inspirational. Please... promise me that you'll be the best god damn cameraman the world has ever seen."

"What... Dad, no, I can't -"

"Stop." Despite his frail stature, it carried enough power to silence Joey immediately. "Promise me... you're gonna kick some ass out there."

The waterworks began leaking. A tear streaked down Joey's cheek, his face wrought with disbelief. "...I promise."

"Just know that I'll love you, and I'll keep loving you beyond the grave, son." His dad said, and his grip weakened noticeably. "Just know I'll be with your mom, Katy, and Caleb again." He settled back into his pillow and closed his eyes.

Joey straightened up, catching the signs. He knew there was nothing he could to stop this, and that alone was making him feel more terrified than ever.

"We'll never... stop loving you, son. I am so... so proud of you..." his father managed, than breathed his last. The lasting high pitched whine of the heart monitor hit Joey like a sucker punch to the stomach.

He buried himself into his father's motionless torso, finally giving in to the emotions. The tears came quick and fast in endless supply.

He was alone.


There was a bright flash of light, and the memory disintegrated. Joey found himself standing on some sort of astral plane. It was as if he were standing on a platform in space, as a starry scene played out in front of his eyes.

"I am... so, so sorry, young one." said an ethereal voice, startling Joey. Princess Luna materialized in front of him, looking utterly shocked and upset. "That had to have been extremely hard for you."

"What is this?" Joey asked warily. "What's going on??"

"You have recalled what I assume to be a memory in your sleep." Luna explained. "It is my duty to subdue the nightmares of others, but rarely do ponies relive memories in the dream world."

"You saw it, then?" Joey said in disbelief. "All of it?"

Luna nodded. "I see no reason to ask questions about it, it was very self explanatory. I apologize if it was unwelcome."

Joey paused. It deeply unsettled him that she could just see his dreams if she wanted to - but if she was here to protect, was there any harm in giving it a chance? After all, her sister was pretty cool as far as these ponies went.

"Why are you here?" Joey asked, calming himself down.

"My sister has been very upset about your disappearance. She does not often cry; she truly cares about your well being." Luna explained. "She wished not to go into detail about what you have told her at the one meeting. She wanted it to be your own tale to reveal, if you wish, whenever you wish."

Joey relaxed. His respect for Celestia rose once again, especially if she went that far to respect his boundaries like that. "I like your funny words, magic man - er, mare."

Luna cocked an eyebrow. "I'm sorry?"

"Oh - just a funny quote from the human world." Joey replied quietly.

Luna looked at him and smiled softly. "I must say I am pleased to find you here in the dream world. How are you faring in the physical realm?"

"Getting my life together. I've been doing well enough." Joey replied with a shrug. "I got a job to save some money. No offense, but I'm not going to tell you guys where I've gone."

"Don't fret, young one." Luna said consolingly. "I'm not going to pry. If you wish to tell us on your own accord then that is your choice."

"That's - cool. I guess. Thanks." Joey stammered, not expecting them to be this this okay with it.

"Do know that if you begin to struggle we will intervene." Luna added. "There comes a moment when your well being matters more than your personal objective. My sister seems to trust you, therefore I shall do the same."

There was an awkward pause between the two. Finally Joey broke it, looking around. "So... the dream realm. Pretty great. What happens now?"

"Now, we shall converse and become friends!" Luna answered enthusiastically, raising a hoof in the air.

"Er - okay." Joey muttered. "A little on the nose, but... sure. I guess."

"Would you feel comfortable telling us why you left Ponyville?" Luna began.

"Starting with the heavy stuff, huh?" Joey sighed. "Fine. No one understands me, or at least no one is even trying, and I'm always the bad guy whenever Cl - erm, a certain other person is involved. I'm also pretty much a nobody to everyone else and everyone forgets I exist. That work for you?"

Instead of denying any of his claims, Luna listened intently. "Hmm, I see. You desired a change of scene, then?"

"Exactly." Joey answered grimly. "If they want to keep pushing me off, accidentally or not, I'm just going to go somewhere else where I'm gonna succeed."

Luna sighed. "It is a most unfortunate situation, to live in the shadow of others. To be overlooked, underestimated. Even forgotten. I understand it, Mr. Belfort."

"You - wait - you do?" Joey asked incredulously. "Pardon my French, but you're a god damn princess - princesses don't get forgotten."

"Allow me to blow your mind then, young one." Luna said with what looked like a slightly sad smile. "Allow me to tell you the story of Nightmare Moon."