//------------------------------// // 2 - The Fifth Wheel // Story: Me, Myself and I // by Cynical Page //------------------------------// Fortunately Joey didn't have to do much in terms of paperwork, simply signing his name acknowledging something about something medicinally-related. He followed Redheart to the lobby, where he was told that someone named 'Twilight' was waiting for him. There were a few ponies scattered about the place, and to him any one of them could have been a Twilight. What he wasn't expecting was to see a small lizard/dinosaur thingy approach them. It was roughly two thirds of the height of a pony by the look of it, which meant it was as tall as Joey's hip. It smiled and extended a hand. "Hi there! The name is Spike!" the thing said in a small masculine voice. Friendly nonetheless. Accepting his handshake, Joey was surprised to feel how warm his hand was. "Er - is Twilight not coming?" Redheart asked, clearing her throat uncertainly. "I'm here instead, she was busy." Spike answered while shrugging. "You know how she gets." Redheart looked a bit shocked for a second before regaining her professional attitude. "That's alright then, All the paperwork has been taken care of by the princesses." Looking at Joey, she smiled faintly. "So sorry your time here had to start out like this." "It happens, don't sweat it." Joey replied with a weak smile of his own, as if nearly dying from blowing up was a normal occurrence. Spike tugged slightly on his pant leg. "Come on! I'm gonna show you where you'll be staying!" he said excitedly. "Alright, alright." Joey chuckled. "Lead the way." As the two of them made their way out of the hospital, Joey took in the scenery now that he was getting a closer look at the town. Somehow despite the fact that most of the buildings here had straw ceilings, none of it looked primitive. "So..." he said awkwardly to the little lizard who was currently humming some tune he had never heard before. "What happened while I was out?" Spike stopped humming. "Well, Pinkie threw her usual welcome parties. Actually, she threw four for each of the other humans. Obviously you couldn't get one since... you know..." "Kind of hard to celebrate someone who is asleep, yeah." Joey agreed. Spike seemed a bit relieved at this information. "Let's see, what else happened...? Oh! Princess Celestia and Luna both came to visit after the accident -" Joey's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. "- so they could meet with your friends. They've been working hard on the fix to send you back! They'll definitely figure it out in no time, I'm sure it'll be a piece of cake compared to raising the sun." "Raise the sun?? What the actual f- er, frick?" Joey stammered, not wanting to swear and make a bad impression. "What do you mean?" This triggered a long winded explanation from Spike about how there were four diarchs and what they each governed. The chiefest of them, Celestia, governed the day and sun while her sister Luna governed the night. Another by the name of Cadance ruled another realm to the north, and the last one of the bunch... "Her name is Twilight!" Spike said cheerfully. Joey stopped. "Wait, so you mean the one that was supposed to pick me up...?" "Yep!!" Spike said, waving back at a pony who had initiated. Looking around again, Joey noticed the stares he was getting. Not in the sense that it was unwelcome, if he had seen someone emerge from a hospital after surviving an explosion he would stare too. Some of them even smiled and waved as he made eye contact. Feeling awkward but liking the acknowledgement, he waved back. "Anyways, Twilight has been super busy with the other princesses about finding a fix to the machine." Spike explained. "She has to put a lot more work in then the other princesses since they all have their own responsibilities on top of this." "Where are the others?" Joey asked, catching Spike unawares. "Ummm... not sure. I know that they've been doing a lot of work either in the nearby cafe or Sugarcube Corner." He looked up and smiled. "And we're here!" Joey noticed that they were on the outskirts of the town, but other than that the home in front of him looked identical to the others. He watched as Spike went ahead of him with the key and opened the door. Stepping inside, it really was a cozy interior. Finished floors, furniture, it had everything. The ceiling was unsurprisingly low, as this house was clearly made for pony use. Spike watched as Joey explored a bit more. To his left the room opened up into a nice living space, with larger blue armchair sitting in front of the fire accompanied with a small reading table next to it. A larger couch rested up against the wall behind a coffee table. To his right was a dining room that extended into a kitchen if you walked further back into the house. A small staircase leading upstairs sat ten feet from the door; at the top there was a bedroom to the left and an unusually spacious bathroom to the right. Walking back down the stairs he asked Spike, "Am I the only one living here? Where are the others staying?" "You have the whole place to yourself!" Spike beamed. "The other humans are staying somewhere closer to the town square in duplex borrowed homes." "That's... kind of awesome, honestly." Joey sighed, looking at the armchair. That would be a great place to read his comfort books, in front of a roaring fire... just the thought of it made him slightly giddy. "So what happens now?" "Applejack will be bringing your stuff over here soon, so you should probably wait here." Spike answered, looking awkward himself. Joey walked over to the armchair and sat down. Nothing particularly special about it, but it was certainly comfortable. He also realized it swiveled, so he turned to face Spike again. The poor guy seemed unsure of what to do with himself. "You wanna sit down?" Joey offered, gesturing to the couch. "You look the same way I feel right now." Spike shot him a confused look, so he quickly added "Awkward as hell." The little dinosaur finally understood and let out a hearty laugh (or as hearty as it could be for someone of his size) and he took a seat. "So sorry if this sounds rude, but what are you exactly?" Joey asked politely. "A dinosaur?" "Nope! Baby dragon!" Spike answered, causing Joey's eyes to widen. "Also, what's a... dining-soar?" "Uh - er - it's pronounced 'di-no-saur'..." Joey corrected, trying to process the crazy thing he had just been told. "You're a dragon!?" "I can breathe fire too!!" the little drake boasted, puffing out his chest. It was kind of adorable. "Are there other dragons? How the hell did you end with ponies?" Joey pressed. As he was a closet geek about anything fantasy, this was a bit unreal for him. He had to know more. The two of them had great conversation. It began with Joey's constant questions about dragons and Spike's history with the ponies (which was kind of wholesome) but slowly turned into talk of the world itself. There was so much information to process, but it wasn't overwhelming - if anything Joey felt as if he had been talking with an old friend the whole time. Suddenly a knock came on the door, and Joey stood up to answer. When he opened it he found an orange mare with a straw-colored mane wearing a stetson standing there with all of his bags. She beamed up at him. "Well howdy!! Great to finally meet ya!" she said in a heavy southern drawl. "Ah'm Applejack! I can see yer getting settled in, want any help?" "Oh! - uh..." he stammered. Gesturing around behind him he answered, "I'm just hanging out with Spike." "Hay, I forgot that Twi was busy!" the farm-pony exclaimed. "Right - well here, lemme bring yer stuff inside! Also, Ah didn't catch yer name?" "Er - Joey, my name is Joey." he answered, stepping aside to let her in. "Isn't all of that heavy?" Spike let out a snort. Applejack put his stuff down gently, barking out a laugh herself. "Heavy for lil' old me? No way in hay, Ah didn't feel a single thing! It was nuthin compared to the apple carts on the farm!" "Farm?" Joey repeated, hardly surprised at all. "You farm apples?" "Mhm!" she replied, beaming. "You'll never find any better in all of Equestria!!!" "That's what any farmer would say about their own goods to be fair." Joey replied jokingly, but Applejack didn't seem to think it was a joke. "Now Ah wanna here none of that, you can't say that without tryin' them first." she said with a frown. "Ah - sorry, I wasn't trying to offend you!" Joey hastily said. "Just a joke. Sorry." Applejack shrugged. "None taken. Good to see ya up and about! Ah have some other things to get done today, so Ah'll see y'all around! See ya, Spike!" The dragon bid a cheery goodbye as she left. It may have just been Joey's imagination, but she seemed colder than she had previously been. Spike seemed to notice the look on Joey's face betraying him and got to his feet. "Awe, don't worry about her. She's just very protective of her job, the farm has been running in her family for generations." he said in a reassuring tone. "She'll come around." "Generations, huh?" Joey murmured. "And I just insulted it." Spike didn't know what to say to this. The evening air was a perfect temperature as Joey explored the town, looking for the other four humans. His venture had eventually taken him to a building the other folks had said was Sugarcube Corner, and if there was ever to be such a building it would have definitely been the Hansel-and-Gretel-ass looking thing. It seemed to have literally been built from baked goods. Probably not. He stepped inside and looked around. It seemed to be laid out like a cafe rather than a bakery, with sit in dining spots scattered orderly about the room. Then he saw them, sitting in a booth in a far corner, laughing and... sketching? Writing? It was hard to tell from there. He slowly made his way over to their spot. As he approached, Andre had looked up and met Joey's gaze. He immediately got to his feet, grinning from ear to ear. "Dude!! You're out of the hospital!" The rest of the group spun around and upon seeing Joey got to their feet as well. Bill gave him a great big hug, which was a little awkward for him, but all the same a mysterious feeling of relief washed over Joey as well. "How are you feeling?" Ginger asked him. "Pretty great considering I almost blew up." Joey joked with a grin. "Maybe a singe mark or two on my ass." "You were facing towards the explosion, I thought!" Bill cried as the others laughed (except Clara, who was kind of a wet blanket when it came to humor like this). "You think too much!" Joey laughed. "So, what are you guys working on?" "Oh! Right!" Andre exclaimed, motioning for everyone to sit back down. Joey pulled up a chair as his acquaintance explained. "So right now we're covering important points that definitely need to be covered." Looking down, Joey noticed a large web diagram. "Oh, makes sense. Kind of like creating a baseline to go off of?" "Exactly. We can't cover all bases here in a one-hour documentary, but maybe seeing these plans will give you some sort of prompt for filming ideas." "We do have some extra time to work on everything, so there's no rush to get footage right now." Clara intervened. "So take your time and think about these things so you don't mess it up." No one else seemed to pick up on her passive-aggressive stance. Based on the very little Joey knew about her it would have been unfair to jump to conclusions, but she seemed like the exact kind of person that would get under his skin without even trying. "I'll do my best." Joey replied without any tone, trying to play it down. It worked, since no one batted an eye. The group, now fully united at last, continued laying the foundation of their project. Every now and then small talk would sprout up. "Have you met any of the ponies since you left the hospital?" Bill asked. "Applejack delivered his stuff and Twilight showed him to his borrowed home." Ginger pointed out. "Oh yeah!" Bill hummed. "How did that go Joey?" "Applejack was nice, but Twilight was busy so she sent her assistant Spike instead." Joey replied. "Can you guys believe that Spike is an actual dragon? That's wild." "You didn't know?" Clara huffed as she stared down at the script she had been writing. "I was in a hospital bed for a week." Joey deadpanned. Clara hastily looked up apologetically. "Oh... right. Sorry." A heavy awkward silence followed as none of them really knew what to say that could help. The silence was broken when a super squeaky voice interrupted them from their work. "Anymore milkshakes for my newest friends?" Joey turned around to see a pink mare with the poofiest mane he had ever seen. "Oh no thanks, nothing for me. I didn't bring any money." "Don't worry about that, silly!!" she chirped. "Everything here for you guys is already covered!" Then she opened her eyes to see who she was talking to, and eyes doubled in size as she let out a very loud gasp. "OHMYGOSH! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN GONE! YOU'RE BACK!!" Joey felt eyes from all across the joint as he cleare3d his throat uncomfortably. "Er, yeah - that's me, heh. Explody McGee." Why the fuck did you have to make that joke? No one's going to laugh!! He heard a giggle coming from the booth. Okay, so maybe Bill laughed. "It's so good to see that you're okay!!! I remember when it happened and everypony was soooooooo scared but then when we heard you were fine just asleep we were like 'Okay!' but then everyone's gotten to know the others and have never seen you out and about yet so now it's kind of weird for everypony but to me I'm excited!!!! Oh oh oh that means we can -" "Sorry to interrupt, Pinkie, but we'll take another round of shakes!" Andre intervened, stopping the pink chatterbox effectively. "Same flavors as last time - Joey, what do you want?" "Just surprise me, I'm sure all of it's good." Joey replied dismissively. He had always been a good listener, so naturally he had caught every word that Pinkie had said. She definitely meant well, but that weird anxious feeling had returned. She agreed excitedly and left to get their treats. Bill gave Joey a smirk. "She's kind of like that. You'll get used to it." "I think it's pretty great, it's rare to see someone like that nowadays." Joey replied, turning back to the footnotes he had been taking. It wasn't anything organized, just an untidy scrawl of different techniques and angles he could use for certain parts of the filming. For the most part, ponies didn't bother them. A few came up and greeted the others, making him feel a bit left out, but a couple introduced themselves. Overall this place was actually pretty nice... not too different from home. Home... even if they did return, where would he go? Who would he spend the holidays with...? He shook his head. No, no thinking like that. Bad time. "Need help?" Bill asked, who had noticed Joey's movement. "Maybe an idea?" "Wha-? Oh no, but thank you!" he replied, faking a smile. That was close. The sun slowly sank beyond the rooftops as they worked, and the sky turned a deep lavender. Ponies began to leave the shop. Soon Pinkie came up to them and informed them that it was closing time. As they all began to clean up, she added "Are you four going to be there for Applebloom's dinner party? She really wanted you four to be there!" "Absolutely!" Andre confirmed, and Joey watched as the other three also gave the affirmatives. Dinner party? What dinner party? As they began to vacate the shop, Joey had a dilemma. We wasn't usually a party goer, but this could be a good chance for him to meet new people - er, ponies. He had to work up the courage to finally speak as they walked out onto the cobbled street. "Hey, um - got room for one more?" he asked as everyone began heading off to the left. "OH YEAH! We have another!! The more the merrier, teehee!!" Pinkie squealed. "The Apple family didn't have enough spots, remember?" Clara sighed. "They were very clear they wanted it to be a smaller party, invitation only. Especially to you, Pinkie." "Oh, right..." "It wasn't anything personal, Joey." Bill butted in apologetically. "What Clara is trying to say is that this had all been planned out since four days ago, while you were still... you know." "Yeah! I get it guys, no worries." Joey replied with an awkward laugh. "I didn't want to intrude anyway, but I figured I might as well ask." "We're really sorry..." Ginger said quietly. "Guys! It's not a big deal. Go have fun at the party! There's always a next time, right?" Joey quickly said. He did believe his words, but it didn't make the situation sting any less. Even Clara's expression softened at this response. Pinkie looked like she was lost for words, so he gave her what he had hoped was a reassuring smile. It worked, because Pinkie smiled back. "See you around, Joey. You remember where you're staying?" Bill asked. "Yep! It's hard to miss. It's this way, so see ya." Joey responded, and began walking before a response could be made. Not that he heard one, anyway. Just chatter and laughter. He made a couple wrong turns, but it wasn't too long before he got back to the borrowed home. Turning the key Spike had given him into the lock he entered. Closing the door behind him, he listened to the silence that now pressed in on him from all sides. He simply just sat down on the armchair and stared out blankly into space. "I guess I could just unpack." He muttered to himself.