Book 1 - The Behemoth came to Canterlot

by Equimorto

TGMHM

Loneliness was not ever something she'd considered. She knew the meaning, she knew it obviously applied to her, but it wasn't something she'd reflected upon. She'd never had a reason to. Yes, she was alone, but that had never been a problem for her and she never thought it would be one. She had everything she needed within herself, others would have simply slowed her down. Yes, of course they could help, but the process of getting them to cooperate to begin with would take time and given how quickly she'd resolve everything with or without help things simply wouldn't go on long enough for the long term benefits to outweigh the time lost initially.

Yet, at that moment, she found herself contemplating it. Her opinion hadn't changed, and it most likely wouldn't, she still thought of it as something she had no problem with. What had changed was her interest in it. Her want to understand both it and its effects on others. She was growing fascinated by it, perhaps simply bored by her other fields of interest. She had the time to and nothing more pressing to fill it with, and even if it wasn't something likely to be particularly useful it was still filling a hole in her knowledge. She couldn't see the act as negative.

What it meant for her was no part of what she'd place her attention on. She knew and understood that already, and reflecting on it wouldn't give her anything new. She'd focus instead on what it meant for others. Through books and through direct observation, she'd take some time to study how they lived it and lived through it. Maybe in some ways it would help her understand herself slightly more. She knew she was different, but seeing the difference and its ramifications could still provide insightful information.

She'd go to the library first. There was a library there. She liked libraries, and it had been a while since she'd been to one. She wasn't sure how well equipped that particular library would be on the specific subject, but anything would be better than nothing and she had to start somewhere if she wanted to start at all. It wouldn't be the last place she'd look in, so even if the material turned out to be lacking it would at least give her a base to start and build upon, or repair if it was shaky. She wouldn't really go anywhere else for a while, so there was no point in complaining about her only option.

The Sun was still a fair bit away from setting as she began to walk down the street to her new destination. Even there, surrounded by the relatively sparse crowd, she was alone. It didn't feel bad, but it was different from how others were, some more and some less. In ways it hadn't before, that knowledge tickled some part of her, pushed her into searching more on the matter. Hopefully the books would help.

Comments

[Speckle]

I don't think this is Stella, though I could be wrong. Is Sugarcoat coming back? Wallflower?