Book 1 - The Behemoth came to Canterlot

by Equimorto

Tra

"Don't you think that carpet has a crease in it?"

The second guard looked in the direction the first was pointing at with his head. "Maybe? It might not."

"I think it does."

"It might, but I'd need to go there and check if I wanted to know for sure. I'm not doing that."

"Why?" The first guard looked at the second. "Do you have anything better to do?"

"Sitting," the other guard replied. "As a matter of fact, I do prefer sitting here, yes. Why don't you go check?"

The stallion looked at the two of them. "You'll need to get up if you want me to go check. And I don't want to walk there. Why don't you go? And anyway, it looks pretty clear to me. If you want to argue it's not creased you're the one who should check."

The second unicorn rolled his eyes. "I swear, I might go check just so it means I don't have to listen to you for a while."

"I'm just saying they did a pretty poor job putting this thing down if that's the case. They'll need to take off the whole thing and put it down again, it's all glued to the floor and tucked in at the sides. They'll have to redo the whole carriage," said the first.

"Or they could just not," said his friend. "Putting aside how it's probably not even creased, what if it is? It's no big deal."

"No way," said the other, shaking his head. "That's right in the middle of the passage. What if somebody trips over it? They can't have that happening."

That got him a look. "Do you plan to keep this up the whole trip?"

"I'm just trying to look out for the safety of others," the unicorn replied.

The other unicorn rubbed his forehead. "Did I have to be sent to Ponyville with you? What are we being sent there for, again? I get we're guarding the castle, by why now?"

"Increased security," replied the first guard. "Apparently, though this is just rumours I've heard, there was some sort of incident there. Someone sneaking in. Some say stuff got stolen, others disagree. Either way, it's apparently what convinced Princess Twilight to finally get tighter security on the place. And that includes us!"

"Should we tell them they got the wrong stallions for the job?"

The first unicorn threw him a look. "Come on now. We're great at what we do."

"We have an absolutely abysmal track record," replied the guard. "As far as the two of us are concerned, every single attack on Canterlot that we got to stand against was successful, and they all got through us pretty easily actually."

"Those are the ones that succeeded against all the rest of the guards too. It's just bad luck. And we were inside the castle, the only stuff that got to us was what had already gotten past the outer layers."

"I'm still not the happiest about that time a filly smacked me around and threw me out of the place."

"That filly was an alicorn," replied the unicorn. "And a psychopath," he added after a moment. "I'm just happy being thrown out was all she did with us."

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Well, these guys are doomed. The only question is what will get past them next. Shining probably would've sent the entire Guard to go count penguins in Yakyakistan if they weren't the best Equestria had to offer... probably.

Actually, a bunch of random citizens held out against the Trio of Terror for longer than the Guard did, didn't they?