Book 1 - The Behemoth came to Canterlot

by Equimorto

Water Slide

"It took me hours to get all the ants out of my mane. Hours, I tell you. Even after I dumped it in water right away. And that was stale water, by the way. It smelled and it probably had algae in it. I absolutely hated it, but I suppose it was better than letting the ants run around in there. You do not want ants running around your mane, trust me."

"Why didn't you just not rest it over their nest then?"

"Well it's not my fault they nested where they did! How was I supposed to know they'd be there when I opened that door? Who even knew ants nest on top of things like that?"

"Wait, where was this again?"

"In my garden. I've got this little wood and metal cabinet next to the wall, I'm sure you've seen it, all the different water pipes for the irrigation system and the fountains get routed through there and it's got valves for me to shut off the parts I want to shut off or regulate the flow of want and stuff, like if I want to let a fountain empty out so I can clean it or if I want to turn the irrigation system on or off when the seasons change. Which is what I was doing. It turns out the space between the door and the top got filled with ants, and when I opened that and leaned forward bam, ants all over my mane."

"But why were you leaning forward like that in the first place? I mean if ants got there it's because your mane was touching the door, wouldn't it have gotten dirty anyway? Couldn't you tie it up or something?"

"I didn't care if it got dirty. I was out working in the garden and sweating, I was going to take a shower later anyway. I wasn't expecting to get anything other than dust and maybe some cobwebs on it, definitely not ants crawling through it."

"Well that just sounds unclean. It's not like you don't own any hair ties. I've seen you wearing one when working around the garden, even."

"Well, that day I went out without one. Sometimes I do that."

"Why? Why do you just go around getting your mane dirty? Just because you're going to wash it later doesn't mean you shouldn't worry about keeping it clean. That's unsanitary, and in general it seems like a pretty bad mindset to have."

"I didn't ask for your opinion on how I go about my daily life, thank you."

"You're the one who wanted to tell us about ants getting in your mane, unprompted at that. Don't complain if we've got something to say about it."

"Could you ponies be a little quieter? We're still in the middle of a battlefield. For all we know we could run into enemy soldiers any moment now, and I'd like to hear them coming before they're already on top of us if that's possible, don't know about you lot."

Comments

[Speckle]

Not the conversation one expects to have on the battlefield, but seeing as how everyone but Twilight, Starshine, Cadence, Shining, Rainbow Dash, and what used to be Nightmare Moon are taking a break, I guess it makes sense