• Member Since 23rd Dec, 2014

caloricmango


I like pony's and all that troll them.

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Found 73 stories in 49ms

Total Words: 10,311,847
Estimated Reading: 4 weeks

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Princess Celestia: Goddess of the Sun, ruler of Equestria, beloved Princess of ponies. She is loved by all, and loves all in return. A calm and wise ruler, she sits on the throne in Canterlot, maintaining peace and harmony throughout the land.

What most don't know is that her past is much darker: She was once a commander of legions, a warrior and scientist of unmatched skill. Thousands of monsters and abominations fell to her forces, slain in the name of an old leader, one entombed within his own throne. Free of her old form, free of the powers of Chaos, she was cast into a new realm, in a new form, with a new lease on life.

She is the God Emperor, Eternal Ruler of Equestria and Lord of the Imperium of Man.

Has a TvTropes Page. Please contribute.

Comments contain spoilers. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Chapters (17)
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"Ponykind must have run out of colours when they finally got to this pony. Everything from his mane to his ass was all seven colours of gloom and doom. He was so dark and brooding he probably ate glittery emos and shat vampire bats.” - Quote of the Week

1000 years the ponies have prayed for a saviour to deliver them, whether it was their long lost sun goddess Celestia, or even Nightmare Moon, maybe even the chaos lord Discord, anypony! After suffering under the yoke of a tyrant god for so long, they decided any saviour will do, even a dark demonic overlord. One unicorn sorceress finally decides to take matters into her own hooves. She sets out to the frozen ruins of a long lost Empire in the Crystal Mountains bearing a grand sacrifice of 1000 ponies in an attempt to summon the dark demonic overlord of the Crystal Empire.

When the dark ritual turned up a blank, the universe decides to shuffle in the next best thing. Will he rise up to the expectations of his newfound flock? He'd better, and quickly, for the tyrant god's inquisition is out to get him and the 1000 'blasphemers' involved in his summoning. With a nation to build and an evil tyrant god to fight, never has there been a taller order to fill. But it's alright, he's a dark demonic overlord, right? He quickly finds that with some smokes and mirrors and the help of 1000 very magical ponies, anyone can look the part, even an entirely magic-inert pizza delivery dude.


Now a long-haul fic! Many thanks to everyone who convinced me to make this a reality!

Many many thanks to the Editing team, Dumbgamer99, Not A Hat, and Brad The Brony. Be sure to thank them by checking out their pages!

Our lovable number one overdude assistant, Crystal Heart, now has a musical theme, aptly titled 'Dual Core A.I.', kindly provided by AdmiralTigerclaw! Epic now comes in an entirely new flavour! Many thanks!

Somebody kindly messaged me and told me I should announce here that the story was featured from 27 - 30th of April. I completely missed that but many thanks for making that possible, everyone!

Cover Art: Placeholder drawn by me. Will be a background for a full cover at some point.

Chapters (12)
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I don’t know if I’ve truly died or lost my mind. What is reality, what is sanity? Are they not just a product of society, a unit to be measured? Something that can be judged, evaluated, and constricted by belief, but also something that is limited by our very biology? I’m not really sure, yet I believe myself to be sane, and have decided to embrace my own reality. One born purely from thought, bound by the limitations of my imagination. This… is a tale of ”my” reality, my triumphs, my mistakes, and the sins of a father.

Co-authored by his Highness Lord of Hentai.
Edited by The Magic Hobo, Regun and mikesnipe.

Chapters (4)
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Now with an amazing YouTube reading by the equally amazing AShadowOfCygnus!


During its two year search for Shepard, the lone Geth traveled across the galaxy, exploring worlds both known and unknown. After a blind FTL jump to escape from an Alliance patrol, it found itself in a previously undiscovered system, a system without a mass relay and completely cut off from the rest of the galaxy. It touched down on one of the worlds, a garden-like planet, with the intention of gathering data on any flora and fauna that may have been present.

Instead, it made a remarkable discovery.


Edit at 8:10 AM on 8/17/2014: Scanning...Featured Box Achieved! This unit humbly thanks all organics and fellow synthetics for their support!


A big thanks to my bloody brilliant proofreader AShadowOfCygnus. Don't stop being classy, buddy.
NOTE: This story takes place years before the Return, back when Twilight was just a filly.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic belongs to Hasbro.
Mass Effect belongs to BioWare and Electronic Arts.

Chapters (5)
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Big Mac doesn’t say much. That’s just his way. However, when a routine medical exam reveals he’s going to lose his voice, he decides he’d better get his last round of speaking in while he still can. Saying a few last words to his friends (and asking out a certain schoolteacher) is all he planned on doing. If only he understood the full repercussions of opening his big mouth.


Featured on Equestria Daily!
Reading by DRWolf: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3


The original version of the story took 12th place in The Writeoff Association's July contest, "A Matter of Perspective"

Chapters (3)
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Current description is outdated and horrible. Thank you for your patience while I figure out one that actually does this story justice.

Note: I think this story works better if read without the long synopsis. The sex and gore tag refers to light content of both. Think summer-blockbuster.

The story is a HIE with post-cyberpunk in the mix, and most of the human main characters are full-body cyborgs meant to look like MLP:FIM characters. If this is enough to grab your interest, then please skip the below text.

Spoiler prevention.
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It is the year 2310 and trans-humanism is within the grasp of anybody that cares for it...

The public responded with "Eww..."

Even so, life and technology marches on.

Such as in the Pheidippides, humanities first try at a manned starship with a range outside our solar-system.

But not all see it as a glorious day. The Ludz, a neo-luddite terrorist group is howling for blood...

And that was before Captain Gregory starts recruiting heavily among the transhuman community.

The response, sabotage of the experimental engines.

Now, stuck in orbit above a world that shouldn't exist, in a ship that barely is holding together and most of his crew dead or wounded...

How exactly do you perform first contact... when your experts looks like bad imitations of the heroes of the land?


The other character tag refers to: Shining Armor, Cadance, Luna and Celestia.

Edited by the talented AppleTank and formerly edited by Razzle Dazzle. Go show your appreciation by checking out their stuff if you have a moment.

Cover by AppleTank. His DeviantArt page may be found here.

Chapters (7)
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Takes place in an alternate universe where Celestia and Luna used the Elements of Harmony to slay King Sombra.


Celestia and Luna are no more. The sun and moon have collided, and the heavens torn asunder in the aftermath of their final battle. The Elements of Harmony are missing, presumed forever lost. The fiends of Tartarus are on a rampage, and no one can stop them. And to make things perfect, the ruler of the nation of Boardor has decided to invade.
Desperate, Clover the Clever's last living student gathers together 108 virgin mares, in order to perform a ritual that will revive King Sombra. They succeed... kinda.
A human, in King Sombra's body, suddenly finds himself in an Equestria in a downward spiral with a bunch of technicolor ponies begging him to save them. Convinced that he's either dreaming, stoned, or insane, he tries to go along with it as best he can, although the voice in his head, a very angry voice with a hunger for conquest, crystals, slavery, and stairs, isn't doing much to instill confidence in his own sanity...


New Cover Art By Shadow Bolt!

Chapters (31)
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You'd think that being trapped in stone would mean that, if nothing else, I could get some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, it seems that Celestia has other ideas.

She has appointed these ponies... these 'Keepers', as she calls them, to keep me entertained during my incarceration.

Honestly? I'd prefer the boredom.




Cover art by matrosha123
Spanish Translation by SPANIARD KIWI found here

Chapters (3)
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I was living a comfortable life. Had a loving wife and son, money was absolutely no issue, everything was swell.

Next thing I know, I'm hearing voices, I can't move, I can't talk, I can't even breathe. Yet, I know I'm alive, though I don't entirely feel like myself anymore.

Then I end up being the last of survivor of my new race.

I'm not even human anymore...

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-A HiE fic as a changeling in an alternate universe where MLP was never aired on Earth.
-Starts shortly before the end of Season 2.
***Slow updates! You've been warned!***
-Current cover image is a placeholder. Trying to find a more appropriate one...
-Comments below contain spoilers!
-The [Tragedy] tag is there mainly because I can't put up the [Sad] tag, due to conflicts with the [Comedy] tag.

Chapters (18)
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[First Person] [Alternating Perspectives] [Science Fantasy]
The Sea Series: Book One

Three humans, their RV, and their luggage are hurled many centuries into Earth's future, where Ponykind and magic rules the world. For most humans, being stranded in the distant future in a world where their species no longer exists would be a curse, but these three are the adventurous sort. Stranded as strangers in a strange land there is only one thing to do, explore!

Howeaver, a chance encounter with a changeling scout sweeps them into the sea of adventure as an ancient human built Artificial Intelligence begs them to help her create a stable civilization for the changelings who live within her hull.

Equestria: a new frontier. These are the voyages of the Winnebago Sagan. Its indefinite mission: to explore a strange new world, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before, and build some alien bug girls a nice home.


Across the Sea of Time is a work of Science Fiction, specifically the Science Fantasy genra, which combines tropes and elements from both science fiction and fantasy. You can expect to see magic and all things FiM (made a bit more Swords and Sorcery), and also crashed alien space craft, AIs, high technology, and themes meant to explore the human condition.

Across the Sea of Time is inspired by FiM, my old D&D games, the works of Isaac Asimov, Clive Cussler, and Douglass Addams. While there is a running joke and plot point involving Star Trek, you do not need any knowledge of Trek to enjoy Across the Sea of Time.


Proofread by the Amazing Timuri
Dedicated to NFire, Bringer of Good Fiction, Architect of Legacy.

Chapters (26)