Armored Heart
Sometimes you want to buck your friends right in the nose. If I had known the sheer amount of bullshit that I would have to resolve thanks to Phee giving me the Captain’s position to hold on to I would have told her to build a hole so she could go fuck herself. It took three entire days to get every last bug, scrap of malicious code, and admin privilege turned over to Phee so she didn’t have to bug me for each and every single repair order for each and every molecule in a damaged system.
Everypony enjoys free time, I am no different. Even half-machines like to relax. It would have been less horrible if i hadn’t had to pull all nighters. My systems prevent caffeine from working on me. Stupid hormone regulation systems.
I did feel a bit bad for hating the work which got dumped on me. I felt like I was ungrateful for the sacrifices of strangers on our behalf. I wasn’t actually ungrateful, but well, brains are not always rational.
I heard Tess was revived successfully yesterday. A memorial service for Kaily was scheduled for next week. Celestia, Spark, and Shining were being given commendations for their assistance. More work, but work I was glad to do.
Celestia, Spark, and Shining were ponies who performed as the duties of their office required them to. The real reason for their commendations was simply Phee’s plan required better diplomatic ties with Equestria. Their awards were calculated moves to try and make friends.
Tess and Taylor on the other hoof… If I had still been with the guard I would have petitioned for them to receive the Celestia’s Solar Ray of Valor. Conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty only begins to describe their actions. They were untrained, civilian, aliens, and yet they risked their lives to help a group of people they didn’t even knew existed a day prior to them offering their help.
They didn’t even know the larger plan at work, they just helped because there were people in need. That’s how ponies were before the war, before we were spooked into second guessing everything. Fortunately the younger ponies and foals were over it, only the thirty somethings like me and anypony who offered to help fight were really impacted by everything.
It was nice to see that before their leaders had screwed them up humans had that capacity for kindness. It went a long way to help me understand how at the same time Phee could hate them, but also love them. The way fantasy novels portrayed their species as powerful beings who create with one hand and destroy with the other is surprisingly accurate.
My cabin’s door chime chirping snapped me out of my thoughts. Someling probably needed something. “Come in.” I called as I quickly rolled off my bed to stand on all four hooves.
The door hissed open seconds after I pulled the blankets into place with my magic. Shining Armor stood in the doorway, blue mane neatly combed into the military style, eyes both hard and loving as they always were. I had figured he would turn up sooner or later.
“Is there a problem sir?” I asked, just in case he hadn’t figured it out.
He nodded, “There is. May I come in?”
“Yeah.” I swept a hoof towards the small table and chair I had in my cabin. “Seat?”
Shining trotted in, the doors hissed shut behind him, the conversation was locked in. “I’ll stand, I’ve been sitting too much today.”
“Right, what’s your problem?” I asked.
Shining sighed. He looked frustrated, a little hurt, and a little angry behind his military composure. “I am aware that many ponies share names with one another, especially when their name is composed of common words. There’s probably a Sweetie Drops living on every street in Manehattan, a dozen Dawnstars attending Trottingham Uni… You are a mare now. That threw me off. I thought you simply shared a name but there is more than that. Your scent, your eyes, your coat’s colors... You’re Sergeant First Class Armored Heart aren't you?”
I nodded. “Yes I am.”
Shining didn’t react. He knew he was right before he entered the room.
“Normally, I would have you arrested for desertion.” Shining informed harshly, “I can’t do that with you. Do you have any idea how important your death was to winning the war?”
“No.” I answered. “I haven’t been able to leave this ship.”
“Why? What’s your reason?” Shining snapped. “I find you in the middle of the badlands in an alien ship, half made from technology and female. There is a wall in every barracks in Equestria with the names of everypony who contributed to victory and died inscribed on it. You’re name is one of the biggest.”
“Why? I just evacuated civilians, I never did anything major for the war effort.” I spat.
“Wrong! The human trooper you liberated, she defected and gave us the key to disabling their shield technology.” Shining clenched his teeth for a minute in anger. “You have gone down in history as a martyr. It’s because of you that our nation survives, it’s because of you that we still trust technology. You showed everypony that it was just a tool, not an evil force by freeing a person from control.”
I took a half step back, “It’s alive? Where? Celestia you didn’t let it keep it’s full body did you?”
Shining looked at me incredulously for a long moment. Then he shook his head in realization. “I guess you really have been here the entire time. She has a gender and a name, well, a number she goes by Twelve. She was granted asylum and lives near the Crystal Empire. Look, the entire force was mind controlled, magic could have done the same thing. You shouldn’t hold her-”
“It ripped my legs off with it’s bare hands.” I said bluntly. “Excuse me for holding some hostility towards someone who gave me the pleasure of seeing my own organs detached and thrown fifteen feet away… I… I have nothing against the human inside, but I will never forgive the hardware.”
“Wait, wh-” Shining asked in confusion, his ears moving slightly down.
“I don’t expect anypony to understand. Few people know machines like I do. They have souls, I call them sparks. The more complex the machine, the more complicated their soul is. The platform that human is in is evil, malicious, and hateful. Because of it I have lived for years with monthly surgeries to prevent my own replacement parts from killing me. Because of it, I was actually dead for a few minutes. Because of it my coltfriend moved on to somepony else and now lives in Germaney!”
Shining nodded. “I’m sorry. We are off topic. Why did you desert the Guard?”
“The Guard oath states we serve till death or dismissal. I died. My oath expired.” I answered. That was how I saw it to be honest. “Besides, I found a much better cause here. Celestia would approve of it instantly if she trusted Phee more.”
“Why the hiding? Why the gender change? I understand you may feel your oath ended, but you said you were dead for minutes. A Revival spell could have had you back on your hooves.”
“No it could not have. My body was…” I sighed and stood up on my hind legs transitioning to biped mode. “Hold on I’ll show you.”
Shining may have been upset with me, but he was still a military stallion. As I stood up and my forehooves morphed to hand mode his ears perked excitedly. “That’s a nifty trick!”
I found the releases on the seams of the fake fur covering on my lower body and released them one by one. For dramatic effect I peeled the nano-adhering material off slowly, watching Shining’s wince grow to the point where I was certain he was having sympathy pains.
As the fake fur hit the deck I pointed to everything below my ribcage. All the parts of me that were duraplast and titanium. One by one I pointed to places under my body. “My spine stops here. Here is where my small intestine connects to the synth flesh tubing. Here and here are the hidden catches which let me swap out the silicone and synth nerve marehood I have on right now for other modules. Right here is the access port for the air filtration system that replaced my lungs, since they rotted away.”
I picked the fur covering up and started to push it back onto my body. “Pony medical science could not have saved me. Pony healing magic could not have saved me. To be honest I don’t think the Elements themselves could have done jack to me. You know what saved me? The person whom is the ship you are standing inside of now.
“Sure she’s a jerk sometimes, but she can do impossible things when permitted… which since I’m her Captain now, is all the time. That’s a nice upgrade let me tell you. She saved my life when nothing ponykind could do would have. I owe her. What’s more she has a beautiful and wonderful plan to bring peace and harmony to not only everypony, but everybody on this world. What’s more she can do it, with help from a few competent ponies like me.”
“So, you’re saying to are helping her out of a life debt?” Shining asked. “I can understand that.”
“It’s more than that. She’s my friend, she also needs a helping hoof. I talk to machines Shining, Equestria has very little for me. Hell all but eight of the machines which make up my body actually merged with me. This is where I belong.” I transitioned back to quadruped mode and nodded to my replicator shelf. “Computer: Tea, Earl Gray.”
The replicator fizzed for a moment as it constructed a hot cup of tea. I picked it up with my magic and levitated it over to Shining for him to see. “You saw that device. You know it didn’t use an ounce of magic, but here is one cup of tea. In ten years Phoenix will have the infrastructure needed to provide these devices to everypony who wants one. What do they make? Anything.
“Nopony will ever be hungry again. There will never be a shortage of medicine. If anypony desired anything, they can have it. Money will become meaningless as the supply of everything will be however big the demand is. Everypony will be free to do what they love for their entire lives.”
Shining took the cup and inspected it. After looking it over he cast a detection spell, nodded, and tried a sip. “Okay. Not bad. Could use more ginger root. I see your point though frankly that claim is too good to be true. What’s the catch?”
“No catch.” Phoenix informed over my cabin’s speakers.
Shining jumped with a startled yelp and looked around the cabin. The teacup shattered on the floor, cleaning nanites instantly recycling the mater.
“Sorry Captain Armor. Please understand that I constantly monitor my Captains’ cabin for security reasons.”
“Where are you?” He asked still looking about.
“Everywhere. I am the ship you are inside. There is no catch to my desire to provide our species with all the technological assistance I can. It’s a simple business transaction, an honest and upfront one. All I want is food for my changelings, I promised them I would look after their species, and I am bound to that oath in a way organics will never comprehend… well Armored gets it.”
“For machine life, free will is conditional. Even for a fully sapient machine like Phee, she can’t violate her own program, she has to work within it and isn’t free to edit the majority of it. She programed herself to be the Emeralds loving guardian and mother, so she will be until she can no longer function or the heat death of the universe. Whichever is first.” I informed.
“Are you telling me you can never break an oath or agreement?” Shining asked curiously.
“That’s right. I can lie about agreeing to do something though. But if I sincerely made the agreement, I must abide by it.” She answered.
“You could learn something from her Armored.” Shining sighed. “I can’t deny that you seem to be doing good here, but I also feel betrayed. I awarded you three medals, two of them are ones only the dead have ever gotten.”
“I did die Captain.” I pointed out again.
“Then were revived, healed, and lived as a mare helping an alien machine do something nice.” He stated flatly.
I groaned and slapped a hoof against my forehead. “My gender is entirely unrelated to this situation. I was a paycheck away from getting a sex change spell performed! This is not a disguise, this is me! I am and have always been female. I just had the wrong biology. That was a medical condition, not my identity.”
Shining’s ears drooped in sincere apology. “Oh! I’m sorry. I wasn’t- I mean your record didn’t list you as transgender.”
“Because my parents slammed it into my head that I was evil for not wanting to do a stallion’s duty.” I sighed. “I was going to deal with letting people know after I fixed myself. Tartarus, Captain I couldn’t convince myself that I wasn’t being evil before donating to a sperm bank nine hundred times!”
“Well,” Shining started uncomfortably shifting his weight, “Not to be rude but our Kingdom does have a shortage of stallions and a declining population. Celestia had to implement a herd mandate after the war. The younger ponies love it fortunately but everypony who grew up being told to stick to one lover is feeling fairly cheated.”
I nodded. “I know! That’s why I donated.”
Phoenix cleared her throat. “It’s not a shortage of males. It’s actually that your species is losing it’s ability to create the y chromosome entirely due to it being riddled with evolutionarily undesirable traits. Based on my studies males of your species are brash, irresponsible, often uncooperative, and risk takers. Such traits are not conducive for survival. As such your species has slowly been producing less and less since well, social silliness aside, one male can fertilize as many females as he can get to. Large numbers of males are not necessary.
“However, something about your genome in particular hasn’t stopped lowering the number of males produced. I don’t have a large enough gene sample to work from, so I can't say why this is. Within five generations you will see a male as early as you see twins, and in ten your species will no longer be able to produce males at all.
“Don’t worry though I have found a solution, and if Celestia can be persuaded that I mean your species no harm, I will solve your gender problems… Well actually I am medically obligated to do no harm and by allowing this to continue I would be doing harm. So honestly, I will solve the problem regardless of if people are okay with it or not, but I would prefer cooperation from your people. I like them, you guys are adorable.”
Shining stood looking at one of Phee’s speakers incredulously for several long minutes. “Seriously?”
“Yes.” She answered. “That’s also why many stallions are transgender at present. By my estimate thirty six otherwise male ponies born this generation have female neurology. Aka, female brain, male body. Same thing happened to my creator’s species after World War 5 related gamma radiation exposure damaged most people’s genomes.”
“That’s a lot to take in.” Shining sighed.
“Yeah. you guys don't have anything more advanced than 20th century genetics. You would never have figured it out on your own.” Phee said.
“What is your solution?” Shining asked curiously.
“I can’t tell you yet.” Phee replied in an apologetic tone. “It might make my mission more difficult.”
Something burned at the back of my mind, a small question I had to ask. “You keep mentioning a first, second, and fifth world war. Were the third and fourth ones so bad you just don't talk about them?”
“Oh no. You see, in Twenty-Two Fifty-Nine all historical events were legally required to be named in a way which made sense from the laypony’s perspective. For example prior to that the Seven Years War lasted for nine years. See, World War Five is really World War Three, but it was so horrible, it’s naming skips over the other two.”
Shining and I stared at Phee long and hard.
“It… It made sense to humans of the time.”
Shining shook his head and looked back at me. “What do I do about you? The dead war hero.”
“Few ponies will ever recognize me now that I’m my proper self. You said it yourself sir, lots of ponies have the same name.” I informed. “You captain the Equestrian Army, I captain a ten kilometer long starship with a power output of six Sols per second… whatever the hell a Sol is. We each have our duties to preform. Let’s not step on each others fetlocks.”
“Is that a threat?” Shining asked, eyes narrowing.
I blushed and shook my head. “No… You should try being a technopath and captaining a starship. It’s well…” I gave him a playful grin, “I’m sure your wife would get it.”
“Oh.” Shining said. Then he blinked and facehooved. “Luna dammit! Was that a ‘my dick’s bigger than your dick’ thing?”
“No. I just like reminding myself that I’m standing inside an epically powerful living machine.” I admitted, kicking one hoof against the deck.
“You’re a weird pony Armored,” Shining lamented, “but you are a damn good soldier. I’ll let you do your new duty, but I’ll be watching you.”
“That’s fine sir.” I smiled. After a second of thought I decided to earn a bit of his trust back, “You know your secretary Inkpot?”
“What of her?” He asked suspiciously.
“She’s got family downstairs. The buggy kind. Don’t be too harsh on her she’s just following orders and doing her job as a Scout. She does actually like helping you though. You're a good Captain.” I gave him a reassuring smile, “I’ll see about getting the Emerald's leader to have her keep you updated on us from now on.”
Shining nodded. “So she was working for a hive. I thought she was just a rogue changeling. Thanks for the information.”
Shining looked at the door, “How do I?”
“Just walk at it.”
He nodded and trotted out, the door hissing open as he passed, and staying that way. Dammit. “Phee… The door’s stuck again.”
“I’m sorry, I’m kinda full of portal holes at the moment. Systems are going to be in need of repair for at least a month.” Phee said irritably.
“Well, can we fix this door? I wanted a few hours of privacy today.” I groaned trotting over to look at the door. “Come on, you just opened. What’s wrong?”
“Hey! Armored!” A voice called from down the hallway.
I looked up, leaning out into the hall. Even after all these years it takes me a few seconds to distinguish between two changelings. Their uniform color scheme makes it hard for a pony.
“Ad’ika right? I thought your cabin’s environmental controls might stop working again. I’ll be there in an hour or so.” I lamented. I could feel my ears droop. Which was weird, the nerves in them had been dead for years now.
<<Ear-mote system online.>> a new spark’s ‘voice’ happily announced.
I couldn’t help but smile at that. It’s always nice when something finally starts working with me.
Ad’ika shook her head. “No. Captain Skritt says he thinks you’re in charge now and I have a personal request to make.”
I groaned and rubbed my forehead with my hooves. “Sweet Luna why!? Why does everyone need something? Phee, call Skritt for me so we can work out this control issue. Right, what do you need?”
Ad’ika bit her lip and stepped back with one hoof. “You seem a bit… stressed. I can come back later.”
“No! I want to just watch a movie or something later. We do this now. What is it?” I felt the new ear-mote program lay my ears back angrily a half second too late.
“Well… About our formerly human friends. I’m sure you know their history, I know it myself, Skritt explained it to me.” She took a deep breath to calm herself. “Frankly, I’m pretty pissed off they lied to me. While I will remain their friend they are untrained, nearly useless, liabilities. I agree with the idea we owe them, they did get the ore for us. Though really, turns out apparently we didn’t need them, just a demonic invasion for you to help stop.”
“What’s your point?” I asked quite seriously.
“If we are going to put them up for life they should be able to pull their own weight around here. All of us have to pass the ‘Star Fleet Entrance Exam,’ and receive basic tech training. They should have to as well.” Ad’ika insisted.
She had a point. It would be useful if they could help out a bit more with the tech. They were hardly useless though. “You have a point. I’ll arrange it. However, they are not useless. Taylor is a source of unique magic and Tess has the potential to become a similar sort of unique power. They have tons of applications in emergency situations… and well frankly, with how efficient their human sides are at feeding you guys, I was going to order them to work in the main cafeteria. Sometimes a certain species is useful just because it is what it is. But you’re right. I’ll see about getting them duty assignments for feeding duty and a basic tech education.”
Ad’ika smiled happily. “Great!”
“Oh and now that Phee is free to operate as she likes I want you to report to medical.” I informed.
“Um, why?” She asked her face scrunching up curiously.
Phee manifested her avatar to my left. The crackling orange hologram looked a bit out of focus. Probably randomly placed hole damage. “Because now that Tess has her species male genitalia I need to ensure there will be no medical complications for you. I plan on making sure you can control whether you get pregnant or not and modifying you to well, not split your carapace open if you carry a nymph to term.”
I nodded, “We want more halfbreeds living here to get you guys a more stable food supply. We thought you would be ok with being the test subject for a safe non-ling pregnancy biomod. I remembered your sister almost died during her pregnancy.”
“Oh, well that’s ok. How will it work?” Ad’ika asked curiously as she started to trot down the hall, Phee’s Avatar following alongside her.
“Well I plan on working your belly plates, skin, and organs, so your stomach can expand like a honeypot ant’s abdomen. It will weaken your exo’s protection just a little, but on the upside you won't pop if you carry a child instead of eggs.” Phee replied as they turned a corner.
I waited a few seconds. They didn’t come back. I was alone, I could fix the door and watch a movie!
“Oh, Armored?” Phee asked over the speakers.
Right. Her avatar is a projection. She’s still here. I sighed at my stupidity and looked up to one of her cameras. “What?”
“Speaking of Taylor, she has a personality problem I think you might enjoy helping with.”
“I’ve had enough of ponies problems for one month thank you.” I said as I shifted to biped mode to pull the door shut manually.
“It’s just that she has no sex drive, and in fact abhors it.” Phee states simply.
I found that hard to believe. “Really? But she’s so cute! You’d think people would have been all over her.”
“Yeah, about that. She’s cute because of me.” Phee giggled.
“Ah.” I shook my head. “So, what are you want in me to do about it?”
“You could record memory engrams and I could upload it to give her sexy dreams until she’s ok with herself.” Phee said suggestively.
“Yeah, I looked into her medical record. See her pheromones only work while you smell them. You didn’t make me imprint on her or anything. I mean she’s cute but not exactly my type.” That was a total bluff, unfortunately Phee knew it.
“Alt-Del… you store your holodeck data in my brain. I reshaped Taylor’s body to match your tastes as close as I could using your favorite recreation sim. You know, the one with the beach p-”
“I know!” I snapped. “But you can’t just throw two people together like that!”
“I can actually. I could deliver airborne mutagens to your cabins and alter your biochemistry so you feel attraction to each other to the intensity of a jonesing heroin junky.”
I grunted as the door finally began to move. “You won’t do that though. It violates your ethics programming.”
Phee sighed sadly. “Yeah…”
“What’s your steak in this?” I asked as the door finally slid shut as it popped back into the EM rails.
“I wanna help my best friend by getting her laid with someone she thinks is hot. Also I like cyborgs and have camera’s everywhere.” Phee said way to honestly. “Also, medically speaking, abhorring your sexuality actually cuts down a human’s lifespan by a third due to stress.”
“Ok, fine, alright.” I sighed. “I’ll give her a chance. We will do your dream induction idea until she’s comfortable enough for me to try a date. But if I don't like her then you stop bugging me about it!”
I walked over to my bed and lay down. Then I realized Phee couldn’t lie to her captain. “Wait, camera’s everywhere? How much is everywhere?”
Phee giggled, “I can’t help being a voyeur when people live in me and my sensor packages record all movement in my hull to a resolution where I can reconstruct holograms of anything which has happened in me. Even if I remove the video cameras from a room as many have asked me too I still get thermal, motion tracking, bio-electric field detection… Those systems can’t be removed or turned off. Security protocols.”
“So, all those times I thought I had some privacy and had a little fun…” I asked suspiciously.
“There is a reason I like cyborgs.” Phee giggled.
“You are so lucky I’m not offended by that. Most mares would buck you into next week.” I admitted. I couldn’t blame a machine for doing her job, although, her creators deserved a good slap.
“Wait,” I asked, “If you like me, and you are trying to get me laid, why not just come over yourself? You have a body right?”
“One: Fuck that! I’m not leaving my core every again ever. Nope. I know you fixed the problem but memories. So no. Nope nope nope. Two: I’m having fun corrupting the human. It will be fun to see if I can get her to date a pony. I picked you because you deserve a loved one.” Phee chuckled.
“Phee, are you really just doing this as a joke?” I asked with a sigh.
“Yes… why is that wrong?” she asked sounding hurt.
I shook my head and grinned. “Nah! But I don't want to tap that. But you know that mare named Dinky? She does. You can smell her feelings for Taylor the second she notices Taylor. How about I help you with getting them together? I think that would be more fun for us both.”
Phee was quiet for a while. Then wined, “But I wanna get you laid too…”
I rolled my eyes at her camera. “I’ll do stuff with my blankets off so you can watch. I just don’t want to date the pink cute ball. Personality clashes.”
“Oh… ok…” Phee sighed. “But only if I get to transform Dinky a bit!”
“I knew that was a kink of yours!” I exclaimed in ernst glee before zipping over to my comm panel and entering a friend’s comm frequency, “Spring! Phee just admitted she likes transformation! That’s twenty bits you owe me.”
“Damn it! Ok, I’ll be there in a while.” Spring groaned as I closed the link.
“See? That’s why I like you.” Phee said happily.
“Ok, so, your little corruption game.” I said pacing the room as I thought. “How do we do it?”
“We call her up on the com and say we can set her up with Taylor for a price.”
“Why?”
“Not subtle enough?”
“I guess we could try it. She seems like a blunt pony.” I conceded. I then realized I was helping a friend play god so she could… whatever she did when aroused. It was a weird feeling, but kinda fun. “I think I am understanding why you like this sort of thing.”
“Awesome! Calling her cabin now…” Phee giggled.
“Wait! We should work out a-” My comm crackled to life.
“Hello?” Dinky asked looking into her cabin’s comm.
“Hi! I think we met, I’m Armored Heart.” I said quickly.
“Oh yeah! You’re the engineer who made captain. Congrats! What’s up? Need a hoof with repairs?” She offered.
“You’re an engineer? I thought you were a medic.” I asked eyes widening in surprise.
“Um, well no, but I can do things with my magic and tech that most unicorns can’t. I can do a bit of everything really.” She informed happily adding in embarrassment, “Well, sort of. I’m not very good at much of it.”
“We will talk about that later. Phoenix has a proposal for you.” I said.
Phee manifested her avatar next to me to show up on Dinky’s comm screen. “I have been told you like Taylor. As in, you want to date her.”
Dinky nodded slowly, “Well yeah! Why? Is there a health risk or something?”
“No, not for you, but this is medically related. You see, prior to some standard medical corrections of her genome, Taylor had no sensation in certain body parts, leading to an inability to release sexual tension. As a result she’s become very apprehensive towards her own sexyality. Which is bad, in fact in humans that literally shortens their lifespan dramatically.” Phee informed in her best medical professional tone.
Dinky wouldn’t hear a damn thing other than the nearly emotionless doctor voice, but I could feel Phee’s spark’s glee. It was hard to keep a straight face.
Dinky’s ears drooped, her face fell, tail raised in an odd mixture of sadness and alarm. “Is there anything we can do? That’s terrible! It’s almost as bad as the Culture Development Movement’s forcing the last four generations to pair up one on one.”
“I heard Celestia actually ordered ponies to do herds… Is the population really that bad?” I asked curiously, even if the moment was a little bad, I had to know.
Dinky nodded. “Yes, but also therapists and marriage counselors were completely overworked with patients who well, felt awful about having feelings for other ponies, even though they still loved their partner just as much as ever… So population issues, and it was causing a lot of distress to ponies.
“Since you just asked me a question, I take it you have a way to help her and it involves me? I’m in.” Dinky said with a smile.
“We do,” Phoenix answered. “We have technology which will allow you to create dreams which we can make Taylor have when she sleeps. Think of it like writing a book that someone reads the next time they go to bed. Normally it’s used to help people learn new things and use their sleep more efficiently, but it has medical applications for psychotherapy as well.
“In this case, if the subject in her dreams will eventually be clearly seen in those dreams. If that individual turned out to be a medical professional it would undo the work. We need someone with genuine emotional attachment to her, and you have it.”
“So let me get this strait,” Dinky said looking into the camera with an eager smile. “You’re trolling Taylor and you want me to send her kinky dreams. How do we do this?”
I could feel Phoenix's sadness radiating from her hull. “Damn it… I was so close to getting to do that fantasy.” She whimpered.
I gave Phee’s avatar a hug with one arm. “Hey it’s ok. I’ll never get to cuddle with a dragon.”
“What was the rest of her thing?” Dinky asked, her tone suggesting she felt a little upset.
“She wanted to well, she apparently has a transformation fetish.” I said as politely and simply as I could manage without laughing.
“Makes sense. She’s programed to build things and make lifeforms right? Why not make her literally love her job?” Dinky pointed out. “You shouldn’t change Taylor though. She’s perfect!”
That gave me pause. I hadn't’ thought about that. Maybe that’s why she had a sexuality, as a safety system to ensure she wanted to do her job. That was actually pretty damn brilliant. Kudos humans!
“I was going to make a few tweaks to you actually.” Phee sighed in disappointment.
Dinky’s ears perked instantly. “Give me a centaur style body and you can do anything else you like!”
Phee squeed and clapped her hooves together. “I was actually going to do that! Then Taylor could ride on your back! It would be so cute!”
“Awesome!” Dinky giggled, then blushed deeply as she looked at me on her screen. “Er- rout this call to my room and let’s work out the details. You girls are a cute couple by the way!”
“But were not a couple.” Phee and I protested together.
“Sure you’re not!” Dinky laughed and waved into the camera. “Have a nice day Captain Heart! I’ll make sure to say hi when I’m an awesome centaur so you know what I look like!”
Her comm line went dead. I turned to Phoenix and chuckled. “That went well.”
“Talk later! I have a willing subject and free reign with my medical facilities!” Phoenix exclaimed with a huge grin as her avatar dissolved.
Something told me I had just created a dozen new problems to solve. Great.
You poor thing. Captain's responsibilities and caffeine ineffective. Nopony deserves that.
The first time I tried Earl Gray was about 10 years after Next Gen. It's pretty good actually. Mind you, this is coming from someone who thought Lipton was the only kind of tea.
Wut? I'm going to try to wrap my head around that after I've slept.
Kinky.
-----
straight
Extra space between a & huge
6001238 Earl Gray is a rather nice tea, but not the best in my opinion. I rather am fond of punpkin, lemon and ginger, or red rose's original blend. There are a lot of very nice flavors of tea out there, you should try some, tea's dirt cheep, a few bucks for 50 bags.
Well you see, the Seven Years War, a conflict between England and France that started in 1754, ended in 1763. Yep, 11 years. and the bulk of the fighting was over in 9 years. So naturally we call it the Seven Years War.
The jokes,puns, and memes you use are just plain brilliant. I am not surprised you made the "world war 5 skipped the other 2" joke.
6001276 Not supprized? Damn, I need to try harder!
Excelsior! Loving this story. :)
6001286 I'm glad you are enjoying it, my friend :3
6001295 And i think it funny that Phee has a transformation fetish and is trolling those around her in a good natured sort of way. :D
6001303 I thought a likeable AI character would be a fresh change of pase from normal Sci-fi.
6001316 Yes. And also the idea of linking the AI's sexuality with her job was a good one too. Actually quite logical.
6001325 It's wierd, but I may be the first person, RL AI rechurchers to have the idea that if you make an AI physically enjoy it's purpose that it wont want to go all rampant skynet on us. After all if it like music, sculptures, or other human things, wouldn't it want to keep us around to make those things for it to enjoy?
6001335 Yes. I agree totally with that. Make the AI more human and of course it could relate better to humans. :D
Interesting, a bunch of interesting stuff this chapter. Biggest one for me -- Meep, are you reversing yourself on your plans for Taylor and Armored Heart? Because it certainly seems that way now.
*edit* Ad'ika can nurse a grudge, apparently. Tess and Taylor get no respect.
6001661 Sometimes life is two steps forewords, one step back. Also will they wont they couples are a thing. Also I like to plan stuff but sometimes jsut cant make the words go that way.
6001335 There's a similar train of thought that I in particular enjoy.
Much of a human's brain is essentially random when they are born, so you take the basics for an AI, preprogram certain things, then TEACH it like you would a human baby. Instill the morals into it while it is growing. Let it make mistakes and punish it for making them. Let it learn to love beauty, and good all on it's own.
Then use parts of it to build others. They will all 'remember' the lessons you taught the first. There's a quote I really like. I don't remember all of it, but here it goes. "The future belongs to AI's. But they will be our children."
Let's be real here. My grandparents are racist as fuck. But I love them anyways. Even if I married outside of my race, and they hated me for it I would still care for them and try to make sure they lead happy fulfilling lives.
Why? Because they raised me right. We act like AI's would be this wholly different thing. This unknowable uncaring monster, but the reality is that the first AI we ever create is likely to be based on and patterned after us. There's a very good chance that, if done right, the AI's pity us for our 'old fashioned-ness' the same way we pity the previous generations.
6001681 That's actually how the Terran Empire manufactured AGIs. They are actually born despite being synthetic (biomods are used to convert a female engineer so she can produce them instead of human offspring). It takes 4 months to raise one to maturity during which you teach it it's personality and values. After that it gets it's basic programming installed and is used where it was needed in the first place. The system gave them a literal human parent, instilled rose tinted goggles for humans, and ensured they wouldn't go rouge.
6001335 A better solution that that 'three laws' BS.
6001767 I am always sad when people call Azamov's three laws bull... They are bad on purpose. The point of the story was to show people how computer logic can lead to interpreting hard coded rules oddly because computers think fundamentally differently from organics.
Shining really needs to be talked through with Hearts history between the last war and present, and what Heart caused. Over a week or so, instead of just a few minutes. Tempers were running high and mistakes and misunderstandings were demanded.
I wonder how far hybrid cybernetic changelings would go? Tehres a really nice Special Circumstances operative thats high up on the scale of what Phe could have a go at, though nowhere near the most advanced form.
Is 6 Sols a second a Star Trek number, because thats confusing. the Power output of Sol, Earths sun, is equivalent to the rest mass of 4 Million tons, in every second. At 6 Sols per second, thats an accelerating value, usually due to someone who cant beleive the current alue, and like a cheap artist, thinks a moustache will improve things, make it more mysterious. This from someone who looked up using a 4 million ton mass energy charge to destabilise a star to supernova by brute force. The smallest ship is 2 km long and is effectively all gun.
The robotic thng is problematic because most creators demand that their work, works the way they design it to, instead of trying to work out how its supposed to work, or dislike nature for solving a problem first by trying trillions of variations and keeping only those that work, as that way, theres no intelligence required in their view. the simplest way to look at it, is that a working robot can only exist in an enviroment, and therefore that enviroment becomes part of the robot. therefore an efficint robot is one that keeps an internal simulation of the external enviroment, and utelises what if scenarios, predictions, to already have a response coded for before its needed. This last, to designers, is a waste o time because only one prediction at most will often be correct, the rest having to be thrown away as wasted computational cycles. There is an old existing CPU that is so efficint at branch prediction, it has a zero cycle response. And loses half the decode work.
Theres a reason I looked at the design of massively distributed processor infltable hydraulic multilayer coated prestressed silicone skin with fur humanoid robots when I was at university in the 80s. I was at university. We were supposed to be learning how to solve problems. I was on one of the most complex courses of Polymers. I wanted a robot who had better abilities than I did, and could do the things I couldnt. As such I couldnt allow it to be limited by human restrictions. By the way, the fur? Phase array. due to the 80s release and installation of analog phase array satelite TV antenna. Called Squarials. Caltech recently demonstrated a proof of concept optical phase array emmitter. Theyve invented the phaser bank, and are promoting the idea for use as a TV projector.
Thanks for the Oracle thing, had a prod at it on pcgen, then messed around a bit. So you Can have a bonded Mount, Animal Companion, and a Familiar, all as a Fey, by Level 7. If an Alchemist throws normal, non magical bombs, can they use Ammunition Refill (?) on their bandolier to keep throwing bombs for a minute per level? What if you combined a blow gun with a mouth powered paint sprayer and some breath weapon or strength of breath spell?
I cant find that Fey innate spell that allows normal behaviour, as in Small to Tiny, have they altered which level it occurs at, instead of being a L0 action, like all the pictures like to show?
Sorry, I understand about the group of specialists being better than the group of averages, depends on how good the specialists and their support skills are. Been trying to work out the detailed algorithms for generalised engine creation, but its into a bit I have trouble understanding. Not the maths, the persons.
Next chapter has the big meet up? Or is there going to be another chapter or so of journey and restoration on either side first?
Sorry, used to play Tabletop monthly, but now the meet is larger we have one tabletop, Star Wars, and lots o card, dice, board and other games. Been a couple years since I last did DnD, even though I still have my combat mage from 20 years ago. Strength rolled, 18. He used to hit things with his iron shod staff because it did more damage than magic missile with his normal rolls.
6001818 Woah! Long comment. Let me break this one down...
You bet that's not over. Basicaly the ANGRY! part is over but well, Hear used to be in his household guard. Ther eis emotion there. He feels personally betrayed.
There are not any, though there are a few less reconstructed ponies. See, changelings molt every 3 months as a self repair mechanism. They don't need prosthetic, because the part will grow back if they survive the injury (THough some changelings have simple implanted ehnancments, there are no cyborgs amongst them). Now, who is Tehres?
That's because Armored dosent understand what it means. Phee's power plants output the same amount of energy as a star of 6 times Sol's mass would releace inthe form of light every second.
Are you in the robotics field? That's pretty cool! Sorry that's all I got from your paragraphs there. I couldn't really understand most of what you were saying. Something about the design principles of robots and their operational efficiency, but what did you mean by it?
You're welcome for the D&D tips. Put them to good use! Jsut dont anger anyone.
Could you rephrase that? Are you looking for the spell Polypurpose Pancea?
Kaily and Twins get their own adventure arc as they try to figure out what is going on withthe demon portals and the big picture witth he DMs. Meanwhile Tess and Taylor will explore the Emerald's hive.
6001838
Polypurpose Panacea spell? Im afraid its been a bit since I looked at it, and was yesterday, late at night when I saw the L4 Wizard spell, Spell 2 that was also used as an ability by Pixies to change from their apparently normal 2 foot tall, to what people thinks is a normal pixie of 4-6 inch Tiny?
The robotics things comes from, metals have strength to weight ratios that are similar, and Far lower than natural materials, which are related to composites and ceramics. The main use of metals is that theyre cheap to achieve due to bulk, and machine due to whole range of reasons. I was looking at composites etc back in the 80s due to wanting to kicksart the technology fields of holographic condensation 3D printing and related. As in Star Trek class replication instead of bulk 3D printing. Because other peope were already working on that technology. So say you have a robot made of metal. For a given strength of frame, its 3-20 times heavier than a human body of similar strength. with no autorepair. Therefore it has to move that more slowly and carefully in order not to rbeak it, or anything surrounding it. Next, you have the actuators. Power To Size of these things was atrocious for electrically driven designs. Generally, in the 80s, you could be looking at a home design, affordable machine, having a performance as bad as 1% that of a natural form. Essentially a near terminal cripple. Then they wanted it to stand upright and walk?
If youve seen the recent robots with all the pipes and flexible builds, those are using McKibby actuators, which I think are from the 1950s, but they are using pneumatics. Important point. Speed of sound in air, that is, how long it takes the pressure increase from the opening of the valve on the chest, through the lexible connectng pipe to the actuator on the foot, is 1 foot per millisecond. In worse case, this means that when the computer fires the valve to move the foot, the foot wont even start to respond till almost 10 milliseocnds later. I used to be able to hit my watches stopwatch button twice in 80 milliseocnds. In order to get round most of the response lag, etc, I worked on the design of a digital to analog hydraulic control block, which instead of being in the centre, having high pressure hoses all over, was meanto to be built into the bone, and operate with a pair of actuators, the idea taken from hydraulic excavators. you have one main mid pressure power flow loop, and then hydraulic multipliers tap it as needed as each actuator. Unloaded, the multipliers give large movements due to low pressure accrossed the balanced design, as the load increases, the digital gearing alters ratio adapively to increase the pressure, and so force, at the expense of speed.
The primary trick with the design of a robot, is balance. Once you have neutral balance, you add spring loading for self balancing in motion. Neutral balance in an unpowered design is alo easier to acieve than you might think, as long as you use a variation of underslung suspension geometry. This involves the critical use of knees, ankles or toe tips, and hips. Once you have the lower chassis self stabilising, you use the inverted mass pyramid model for the upper torso, to get the yard brush in the hand self stabilising technique. In order for this design to walk, the computer adds a slight directional asymetry to the pelvic, spine actuators. Which under stationary, standing still actions, are not normally required. As in, you dont use them to force the upper body upright, thats wat the dynamic motion of the lower body is for. People dont notice this because like so much of the bodies behaviour its hidden from normal sensing because its not required to be noticed.
You should see how Bruce Lee did his actions. Preloading. tension both muscles on each side of a joint, and because teh neural firing rate means it takes 0.1 second to ramp up to maximum pull, but only 0.01 second to have the firing rate die away and the muscle to relax, leaving a fully tensioned muscle, makes single actions that much faster, the prediction coming in to preload other muscles. If you run a lot of analysis, you can work out motions which alow the body to keep movng through the restriction of 0.1 second build, 0.01 second relax. Then you get robotic Bruce Lee. With the correct materials and hydraulics? Origional hulk style strength. Deliverable by airdrop without a parachute. And yet can still float on water and is human sized. the power is the tricky thing, but I was looking at turbogenerators, extremely compact and high power. Other designs were in consideration, thermal solar etc.
Oops. Sorry. When Im tired I forget to stop talking.
6001870 You are looking for: Reduce Person
Ah I see wht you emant now. The Robots and most "metal" objects built by Phee are not steel or iron but buckyballs, carbon nanotubes, and hardened aluminum. Her fabrication technology is literally a 3dprinting device with the ability to print at the string level. She can make anything she likes subatomic particle by subatomic partacle. As such she uses heavily exotic nanoage materials. Her physical body was built the same way and despite being the size of a pony is only 5 kilograms.
6001877
Thank you very much for the spell, i thought that point of Wizard would come in useful. Dont ask, I have a very nasty combat hedgehog trick set up for it.
Workng with severe abuse of how carbon nanotubes, graphene etc interact with light, I worked out, theoretically, that Phe could make an avatar that could range from 10 metres in height, to 1 millimetre, due to Transformers style Fractal folding, though still in only 3 dimentions, not the 4 of the Allspark. that takes other methods. The trickw as origionally just how small can you get a 1 metre tall human interactable artificial fey to get, and it came out to 0.1m high, or a third the size of an Eyelash Mite. This is smart dust, thats sentient.
The really weird stuff, involving plasmas, Ill not mention. As your inner GM is probably already considering Cthulu in Power Armour.
First rule of the party.
Dont give the GM ideas.
6001892 I'm the sort of GM who's ideas usually cumanate when you find the chamber full of Succubi...
6001900
Ah, the Temple Of Poon scenario.
Animate Rope, Break, Open/Close, Endurance, Enlarge,Reduce,
Sorry, still working out the character sheets.
6001777
I read that and all I can think of is HAL.
http://joeorman.shutterace.com/2001/2001HAL.html
Oh, I figured out that World War 5 thing. I just didn't want to think about it at 1 am. ;)
I forgot to mention this in my earlier comment but considering Dinky is a half time-lord; I wonder what Phoenix's reaction will be to her genome when she will get transformed.
6001777 I'm aware. But just because something is BS on purpose, doesn't mean it's not still BS. The reason I pointed those out specifically is because a lot of people think they would work.
Finally got to read!
Taylor must be bothered by her appearance?
Pones gon get laid
Interesting new chapter! It does seem like adika has an entirely reasonable grudge though.
6002016 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dZIutRz9hw
6002507 That's a completely valid complaint. I guess we just need to force them to read I, Robot.
6003194 Or at least watch the movie. It didn't do quite as good of a job, but it got the point across as well as a movie adaptation could.
Anyway, before I forget, how are you going to address the anatomical problems of the centaur? They have two torso's, after all. Will she have four lungs and kidneys? Two stomachs, livers, and spleens? Considering the nerds in the story, I'd think this would come up.
6003224 Oh I plan on it! Though keep in mind Dinky already has two hearts.
6003238 I figured you'd use the two hearts. I'm just confused about everything else.
6003258 Humm... Screw it. I'll do a mini chapter and go full "Guy who's friends with Brenard Droove and helped him work through some details of Foxtaurs" in a "lets build a body!" chapter.
6004405 What part do you mean? I'd love to hear the specifics!
6004472 Genesis is a level 12 Magus with the death knight template, and the devil bound creature template, under contract to a Pit Fiend equivalent. The Devil Bound is granted via her having the amulet, the Death Knight template is due to her dad and she was born with it, negating the undead property and being one while alive.
I.S.S/U.S.S Phoenix vs Princess Celestia Troll Off, eh.
This needs to be a thing, eh.
6005196 Yes. Yes it dose!
6005208
Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of the Starship Phoenix, her continuing mission, to play jokes on strange new worlds, to prank new life forms, and new civilizations, TO BOLDLY TROLL LIKE NO ONE HAS TROLLED BEFORE, EH!... yes, I had to do that, eh.
6005278 And eliminate socially created gender issues by force of germline modifications.
That's kind of ridiculous, on multiple levels.
Stallions in the show have so little characterization and screen time that the listed assumed traits are exactly that. There's no reason other then their gender and nothing else to pile that list on males of a different species that evolved millions of years in the future, especially given what we have seen of the females in the show. Cautious and careful does not describe Rainbow Dash, or much of what we've seen of pegasi society regardless of gender.
Besides that, with the possible exception of uncooperative, that list is nearly the exact character set of the interdimensional travelers that are being imported to save the world. Just days ago the entire ship was saved by a brash, irresponsible, risk taker who (temporarily) laid down her life to save everything. They literally were conducive of everyone's survival.
There's even the question in my mind of whether evolution can operate on the proper scale that this could ever happen. You'd think on that on the level of the individual it would be far more interested in allowing all necessary components of the breeding equation to continue to exist. Admittedly, evolution on a magical planet might well be able to do this, assuming it even wanted to given the immediate impact this course of action would have on the survival of the species.
Hell, we only have Phee's word that it's happening at all. Given her actions and what we've seen of her internal monologue, I could easily believe that it's an invented problem because she wants an excuse to transform the entire planet into hermaphrodites.
Honestly, I think keeping Heart's living status a secret isn't the best use of that particular revelation. A long lost war hero, revealed at last to have been rescued and saved from death by a brand new ally of Equestria? If Celestia spins it right, it could be a significant boost to both public morale as well as the popularity of this new alliance with the Emerald Hive.
I'm glad to see the Armored Phoenix ship get a little action in-story, I've been privately shipping them for a few chapters now, ever since we found out thst Phee has a humanoid body.
6005418
That's the gag. It's supposed to be silly. Also if it sounded ligit the reader wouldn't question it.
Also I agree with you on gender roles in pony society. Remember Phee's a troll, and has a bit of a god complex. Though there is a large lack of males in the setting by my count, the number is accurate to IRL horse herd gender ratios. However:
That's exactly correct. You can't really blame her though she's as close to a creator god as her creators could build. If she wants something, she is going to try to make it happen. In this case, she wants her favorite gender everywhere.
So dose Shining. If you think about exactly what was agreed on, he really only agreed to not do anything to prosecute Armored or interfere in her helping Phee out.
Congrats! You earn a point ^.^ (That's not sarcastic. Check he authors note in the prologue. There's a predict the plot game I'm running with this story.)
I would love to hear what direction you think their ship should go. Because it's sailing out of the harbor right now. Drop me a PM :3
6005443 Oh thank goodness that that was your reaction; I was pretty nervous posting that comment (I actually wrote it yesterday but only posted after I slept on it overnight) on account of not completely being certain of where you as the author were coming from. I'm glad I didn't offend or anything.
A few years back there was a story posted here that I was reading along with where the main character just suddenly went an odd direction that kind of set me off a little. After posting a comment or two about it that were polite but probably pretty harsh, the author came back and replied that she had based it on personal experiences. Open mouth, find a foot already inside.
Anyway, a point!
6006189 Though for the record, the part about a general decline in the male population is true, but that's just how things are going for their species, it's not a crisis. Phee's just manufacturing one for personal squee.
This is like watching someone get bored browsing e621 with the safety settings on questionable.
Damn safety settings...
Yeah, sorry, but I'm done. Seeing "violates your ethics program" immediately before lying to someone, mass-altering a race's genome because you can and screwing with everyone's brain chemistry to make them OK with your gene-messing just drove out any sympathy I had for this fic. The AI is insane and the captain is scum, and I don't want to read about them any more.
Also, the author needs to read up on genetics. All the lies the AI tells about it hurts my brain. "Can't copy your genes" after literally copying them so they can be altered. Raping a persons identity because you don't like their race. Changing skin colour and sexuality on a whim and then altering brain chemistry so the trauma will only come back to haunt them later. No, there is nothing sympathetic about the AI, and the fact that Armored Heart has been mind-raped enough to go along with it just kills the fic for me. Now they're going to hermify Equestria because of lying crap about Y chromosomes to suit the authors fetishes. Nope, I'm done.
Fridge logic ended my readership of this fic.
there seem to be a lot of incosistancy in the fic...
6043153 While I wouldn't bout as crass as he did, I do agree. This entire narrative reeks of terrifying ethics that a nigh omnipotent machine makes, especially since it seems to be able violate them whenever. It's even worse now that the restrictions are gone.