10 - A Few Kilos of Ore - Part 4
From the Journal of Princess Twilight Sparkle
Running to the mine without any real break was not my best idea. We had just run for eight hours, sustained by magic, hastened by spellcraft. All six of us were hungry, and even with the magical assistance we were fatigued.
Rarity and I were low on mana, AJ, and Pinkie were too hungry to think straight, Dash, and Shy were too sore to fly. Unfortunately for us, orders were orders, and so we ran for another eight hours. Right though the black of night until the sun began to peek over the horizon and the rocky foothills of Mount Everfree lay underhoof.
The mine’s main entrance lay perhaps three hundred yards away. It looked like a gaping hole in the side of a hill made of iron banded fire blackened logs with massive wooden doors like some sort of house for giants. Though it would be more appropriate to call it a concentration camp them a home.
A massive four pony tall piece of carved obsidian sat over the entrance, shaped into a pair of obelisks which helixed around a core of dark amethyst, and tapered to needle like points. The Dogs called it the ‘Earthroot’, a symbol for their people and a display of their wealth. The entire point of the marker was it was difficult to make, made from rare gem grade materials, and made entirely by slave labor.
I had hated that statue ever since I first read about it. I can’t even remember how many letters I had written to Celestia begging her to let me purge the Dogs from my fiefdom, but the truce stood. Their agreement to not enslave ponies was never enough to satisfy me. Not while other species toiled in their mine.
I laughed grimly, prompting Aj to look at me in concern. “Ya all right?”
I shook my head, “No. Do you have any idea how many times I have asked Celestia to destroy this place? The first time in five years she has ordered me to come here, and she puts us on intelligence gathering… Not to mention I’m too tired to do anything about this place anyways.”
AJ nodded in agreement, “I hear ya. I wish my great grandma had driven ‘em off instead of agreeing to play nice. Can’t blame her though, we still thought harmony would work for everypony back then.”
“I still think it can,” Fluttershy said softly, “not every one of them is bad. They just need more time to learn.”
“Maybe, but until then it would be best if they weren't three hours march from Ponyville.” Rainbow muttered.
“Oh-well, yes.” Fluttershy agreed. “I don’t think we shouldn’t protect ourselves. I just think we should try to be friendly when we can to them. They won't change if they aren’t shown a better way.”
Rarity lifted her head over the rocky outcropping we were hiding behind, “I’m inclined to agree with Fluttershy.”
“Even though they tried to make you a slave?” Rainbow asked skeptically.
“Yes. Our ancestors were just as barbaric before the pre-classical period. They can grow into something better too. Though I personally would prefer it if they did it somewhere other than here.” Rarity sighed. “But it isn’t our job to make them leave today. We should focus on our mission.”
I nodded, “True… Everypony’s tired, we should work out a watch for the night. We can get a few hours of sleep and a meal before the humans show up if we are careful.”
Pinkie shook her head, quickly pointing to the mine, “That’s a hole in the ground full of mean Dogs.”
“Er- yes.” I replied, giving her a confused look.
“The wind’s blowing towards them, and we are pretty close.” Pinkie added, gesturing for me to put what she was saying together.
“Oh my!” Fluttershy squeaked, “Their sense of smell! They already know we are here! We should retreat!”
Fluttershy started looking around the rock strewn, plains doing her best to find us the quickest exit.
I held a hoof to my forehead in shame, “How could I forget their sense of smell?”
“It’s fine, we are all tired and hungry.” AJ said as she looked over the top of the rocks at the mine. “The real question, is why haven’t they come out to say anything to us yet? The treaty says they have to talk to anypony who visits.”
“Um, girls… We are surrounded.” Fluttershy whispered. With one hoof she quickly sketched a map in the dirt. Assuming the box was us, the line the mine’s entrance, and the dots were Dogs, we were surrounded by over fifty of them in a ‘u’ shape with the open end being the mine’s entrance.
A loud, thundering creaking of timber filled the air as the mine’s doors opened. The quiet morning shattered as a warhorn blared. The thundering crash of dozens of creatures in armor marching echoed out of the mine as several hundred fully armored and armed Dogs spilled forth like a hoofball team entering a stadium. Black and red standards of the mine’s chief were held aloft alongside the cream and black heraldry of the Diamond Dog’s High Queen.
I could feel my face turn pale as the army marched towards our position. The first few ranks were made up of mutts, the overly muscled and under bright most ponies thought of when they thought of the Dogs. Behind them were wave after wave of their purebreds, well built, bight minded, highly trained, elites, the best their species had to offer.
“I think the treaty is over.” Rarity squeaked.
I nodded grimly, “That’s the High Queen’s banner, whatever they are doing she’s approved it.”
“Right, so we should make a break for a weak point in the line surrounding us. Like now.” Rainbow exclaimed urgently.
I opened my mouth to speak only to close it quickly as the army stopped marching and parted ranks to allow a single pony to walk to the front of the formation. The pony had on a hooded cloak made from thin black leather decorated in white arcane markings. A bright blue horn stuck out of a slit in the hood made especially to allow the horn to keep the hood up at all times. A glint of red and gold under the hood hinted at the ruby circlet I knew was around her head. Her fur was entirely covered in a dull grey jumpsuit, decorated with spidery white arcane marks and held tight to her body with black belts festooned with pouches. She was a unicorn in a Tribunal Magus’s uniform.
“Not now we shouldn’t…” I said gritting my teeth. Even if that was simply somepony just using the uniform to deceive people, we had to take her prisoner, or take her down.
The Magus’s horn suddenly burned with black, purple, and green energy of dark magic. She slowly rose from the ground, lifting herself with her own telekinesis and launching herself towards the six of us. Reaching for my diminished magic I threw a shield over us. She landed a few feet from my lavender dome, everypony quickly gathered around me in a circle, back to back.
“I remember you Twilight.” The Magus said, her voice female, but deep and echoing. Signs of long term dark magic use which confirmed she was the real thing.
“Can’t say I remember you.” I said as I probed her with my magic, trying to figure out how many wards protected her and any way to get around them.
“You wouldn’t. You were busy fighting my mentor, you have excellent form with Sombra’s Lance if you don’t mind me saying so.” I felt her casually swat my probe aside. “I thought you felt tired… You should surrender.”
“That’s not an option.” Rainbow snapped glaring at the Magus with more hatred than I had seen from her in along while.
“At your best, you would have a problem handling these fine canines. At your best, you would likely perish fighting them with me on their side. Add the fact you are impeding a direct order from their High Queen and the clergy and even at your best their zeal would overwhelm you. You are not even close to your best. I can feel your auras, you are all tired, low on energy. I could personally kill you all, though it would take some effort.” The simple factual tone of her voice dug into my brain, her words twisting my thoughts to match her will.
“She’s trying to manipulate us. Don’t listen.” I warned.
“I would rather we didn’t have to walk over your corpse, see we will need all the canine power here for a little mission. Surrender, and in accordance with international law we will release you in twenty four hours.” The Magus informed.
“Wait, what?” Rarity asked.
“According to international law you can’t hold a sovereign and their staff prisoner for more than twenty four hours without an official declaration of war… Which means you are not working for the Tribunal!” I said in hopes of getting her to tell us some of what was going on.
“No I am not. You did an excellent job of destroying us. If it were not a devastating blow to Equestria, I would applaud your skill and ruthlessness. I work for His Highness now, and these fine Dogs have agreed to help Him. See, they have some ore He wants, but these Dogs can’t deliver it without some help so here I am. I’ll ask you one more time, please surrender. Expending resources to kill you would be an inconvenience.”
Fluttershy leaned over to me slowly. “Twi,” she whispered, “we should surrender. We want to see the mine and they will take us inside. Since the Queen is involved, they will let us back out and if they don’t Celestia knows we’re here.”
“Oh yeah?” Rainbow shouted, “Well these guys might give us some trouble since we haven’t had lunch, but I’ll bet if we take you down they’ll just run off!”
I flinched, “Rain-”
The sky split into jagged fragments as the Magus’s horn erupted into purple and green lightning. A storm of streaming bolts slammed down against my shield shattering it in an instant, melting a ring of rock around us, and leaving a low humming ringing sound in everypony’s ears.
I growled in frustration, Fluttershy was right. Before I did anything I had to make sure we would be released. “Celestia ordered us here. If we don’t report back… I’m sure you can imagine the consequences.”
She nodded once. “My King does not yet wish to fight her. I swear by my blood and the seven Lords, the six of you will be released when the moon rises this day.”
“Unharmed?” I asked.
“If you do not attempt escape.” she replied.
“Twilight, you can't seriously be considering surrendering to her!” Rarity and AJ exclaimed together.
“There is no way we can ever trust her word!” Rainbow shouted.
“My wife has a point,” I said looking to where I believed the Magus’s eyes to be, “Why should we trust you?”
She stared at us for a long moment, “Is swearing upon my soul not good enough for you? I believe you know what happens if I break my oath. How about this, fighting you would take time. I am on a very strict schedule, the ore in this mine needs to be collected, transported, processed, and worked before the next new moon. There is not much room for delay.”
I took a deep breath and thought through everything one more time. She did swear an oath which I knew from experience had dire consequences if broken, we couldn’t beat her in our current state, and if we did the dogs would tear us to pieces. Celestia knew we were here, and we were supposed to go into the mine and observe the coming attack.
I grinned as I remembered the mine was about to be attacked by humans. We could slip away in the chaos easily enough the moment they got here. “Alright. We surrender.”
“What? Why?” Rainbow demanded, grabbing my shoulders, “Did she get inside your head?”
I shook my head and gently pushed her hooves off me, “Hon, she’s right. We are in no shape to fight, they can’t hold us for long without starting a major war, and while they will kill us if we fight. Which would also start a war. Isn’t that right?” I turned to look at the Magus smugly.
“She speaks the truth, but I would not hesitate to destroy you if you delay me much longer. War between us is inevitable, but we are not yet ready.” The Magus informed kicking the ground idly with one hoof.
I looked Rainbow directly in the eyes and whispered, “We were told to infiltrate the mine. This is an easy way in and out again.”
She nodded angrily, “Fine… Everypony had better come out of this okay.”
Rarity nodded, “I second that Twilight… though this may be our best option.”
The Magus held up her left hoof and shouted, “Chief! They are your prisoners until sunset. They will come quietly, if you harm them without due cause my King will be displeased.”
A tall mutt in fullplate carrying an oversize axe broke ranks and walked towards us, six slightly smaller mutts in equally good armor followed him. When he reached us he mockingly bowed, sweeping his helmet off his head like a gentlecolt would a hat, “Princess Pony, nice to have you! I have a royal cell prepared.” He snickered at his own joke, his entourage laughing loudly with him.
They started to march us towards the mine. Just before we would have been out of earshot of the Magus she called back to me, “I wouldn’t want you to be lonely princess. We will pick up some of your friends to keep you company. Dogs, march!”
They were going to raid Ponyville. She had entirely outwitted me, there was no way Celestia could get the reinforcements she had said she would send to Ponyville in time, no way for me to even warn the local garrison. Worse still if I did anything now, if one of us died or if we killed the Magus war would be the result. Because of the existing treaty, the attack on Ponyville would only see this individual mine’s banishment. Before that could happen this King would have everything he needed. I had been entirely outmaneuvered.
“No…” I whispered. I felt my heart ache as if somepony were crushing it in their hooves.
“Twilight…” Fluttershy whispered.
“What?” I moaned.
“Pinkie’s gone.” She whispered back.
I looked around slowly, fairly certain the Dogs wouldn’t think much of it. Pinkie was nowhere to be seen. I smiled softly. I may have failed, but that’s what friends are for. To help you fix your mistakes.
“Your move now Magus…” I whispered.
From the Diary of Dinky “Muffin” Hooves:
I spent the night reading up on diamond dogs. I used my Guide first, but well not all of its entries are super helpful. Especially when it consists of a few pictures and the words ‘Avoid, if at all possible.’
Fortunately Twilight had made the castle library open to the public day in day out. Though if you ask me requiring a separate library card to access the library at night was just a way to get another 15 bits out of everypony. Nonetheless, there were plenty of books on the Dogs.
I figured I should be as prepared as I could be. It was a good thing I decided to read up, I learned many things which could come in handy. For example, Diamond Dogs have three castes within their society, mutts, purebreds, and progenitors.
Mutts are basically lower class working types, considered to be low in brain power, but high in muscle power. Purebreds are basically specific bloodlines drawn from the elites of their civilization over the millennia, how are thought of as smarter, better, faster, and stronger. A progenitor is actually interesting in that they are the species the dogs believe themselves to be descended from, wolves. Wolves are not a part of their society at all, but hold top rank in it, they are at equal authority to the Queen.
While that information would be useful in formulating strategies to stay alive in their mine, it was completely overshadowed by a gem of information I found in a badly water damaged book. The water damage made it a little hard to read, but I could still make out the characters.
The old volume was written in Changelish, fortunately the author chose to use an ink visible in normal light, and I was permanently linked to the TARDIS translation circuit. The battered, chitten bound book was a journal a Changeling royal had kept detailing a border war with Dogs a hundred years ago. The important page was one which stated the Dogs had reverse engineered animaurgy as a result of their war and were using it in their weapons’ enchantments.
Though what animaurgy was beyond me. Reaching for my black leather and silver bound copy of The Adventurer’s Guide to Equis I opened the book to a random place in it’s vellum pages and said, “Animaurgy”.
The pages I opened to turned black as ink filled them entirely, only to soak back into the pages leaving behind a few illustrations as a polite female dragon’s voice softly narrated the text around the pictures for me. “Animaurgy is a magical field which drains energy from objects or organisms. Originally used to drain the life force from a subject to prolong one’s own existence, the Evil Overlords who invented it discovered the longer and Dark Lord lives, the greater the odds of him being slain by a hero become. In order to avoid death by increasing probability these same Overlords found other uses for animaurgy, making it into a general purpose arcane energy transfer mechanism.
“Unfortunately, having invented a school of magic designed to absorb energy from one thing and use it in something else, the Overlords brought about their own doom. This occurred when a unicorn enchanted millions of toothpicks at random with a spell he called ‘Detect Evil and Turn it into Crispy Bacon’ which were fueled by the energy of an evil soul. Today animaurgy is generally used in weapons to turn magical protections into tissue paper which makes the weapon stronger as it destroys an opponent's defenses.
“This has naturally upset the Evil Overlord community, who largely see’s its creation as a ‘bad move’.”
Just as I had committed those facts to memory, a bookcase slid open. The sound of wood sliding on crystal instantly caught my attention. Pinkie Pie stepped out of a hidden passage on the opposite side of the library. She looked exhausted, but also tense, in equal proportions. Worse yet her mane hung straight down, the normal frizziness gone.
With impossible speed Pinkie zipped to my side and began to babble, frantically waving her forehooves as she ranted, “Muffin! Thank Celestia! I was going to get Spike to write Princess Celestia but this is so much better! The Dogs are being total meaniepants and everypony is locked in a deep dark hole at the bottom of their mine where they probably are fending off pony-eating rats with yucky moldy straw meant to be their bed! Where’s your dad? He’s a doctor, he can fix all kinds of things right?”
Somewhere in her panicked shouting she had managed to get her hooves around my shoulders and shake me. I couldn’t tell you when. “It’s okay,” I told her slowly, “dad put me on it. We’re on top of this.”
Pinkie frowned and stared directly into my eyes as she asked, “Are you sure? Because they have a whole army that’s really scary and is-”
“On it’s way to enslave ponies. I know, my future self told me. I got this.” I gently took her hooves off my shoulders. “They will be here in, actually any minute now… But that’s not important. At nine this morning, humans attack their mine to steal some arcanite. They will free anypony who got taken as a slave, and I have to make sure they all survive and get away with the ore. Otherwise, the future is terrible.”
Pinkie blinked twice and cocked her head, “You’re doing this yourself? Are you sure you can handle this?”
I nodded, “Yep. I’ll make sure your friends get out of there okay. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” I said while making the motions of a Pinkie promise.
Pinkie bit her lip thoughtfully for a few seconds before slowly nodding, “Well… okay. If anypony can help them it’s somepony like you… but I’m still going to tell Princess Celestia.”
“That’s probably for the best-” The blaring scream of a dozen warhorns rendered me mute for a full twelve seconds.
I grabbed my copy of the Guide with my magic and tossed it into my bag, then bolted out the door. The second my hooves touched the castle’s lawn the howls and braying of countless Dogs filled my ears. The air seemed to crack as screams started to come from all over Ponyville.
Most run from that kind of danger, but the job of an adventurer is to run towards the sounds of terror, pain, and anguish to confront their source head on. I stopped on the castle lawn, a platoon of Guards rushed past me in full armor shouting orders. My breath came in short huffing gasps, I hadn’t prepared quite enough, but I could get a hold of myself and still do my job.
“Magus!” somepony screamed.
The disorganized ranks of guards froze in their tracks. Just beyond the castle’s gates stood a single pony in a grey and white uniform cloak. Her horn blazed with green and purple energy as she telekinetically lifted six needle like swords out from under her cloak and stabbed them into the ground a short ways in front of her.
“Good evening guard-ponies,” she said in the casual tone of a normal citizen. “My job today is to prevent you from helping your fellow townsfolk. Would you like a simple display of skill at arms, or something more entertaining?”
“Don’t just stand there! Somepony kill that witch!” A Sargent bellowed, gesturing violently with one hoof.
Nopony moved.
The hooded mare nodded, “Entertaining it is, very nice choice. This mornings beating will be accompanied by Beet Haven’s ‘Ode to Luna’, hospital and funeral bills to follow.”
Her horn blazed with magic. A phrase escaped her lips in a whisper. In an instant, darkness consumed her. where a creature of flesh and blood had stood a second before, a shape cloud of black, sickly green, and violet energy remained.
It held the vague shape of a pony, but the only features with any definition were her two orange cat-like eyes. She transformed herself into a living aura, pure concentrated dark magic, shaped, and guided by her consciousness.
The sound of an orchestra came from everywhere at once, the instruments growing in volume as the Magus’s astral form grew in size. Within a few short seconds she reached the size of a small house, and as the orchestra was joined by a Nocturn choir, she leaped forwards, crushing the sergeant who had spoke up effortlessly underhoof.
The next few seconds were a blur of action during which I was too horrified to do anything. the guards scattered screaming in panic. The Magus ripped the roof off a house and threw it, blocking the way back into the castle. A few guards threw spears at her, they rusted and rotted away the second they touched her. A beam of violet energy erupted from her mouth incinerating a squad of unicorns before they could cast and burned a hole ten feet deep in the earth. All while a thousand strong ghostly choir proclaimed the joy and glory of the night.
As the Magus stomped a fleeing pegasus flush with the ground, something in me snapped. Every single time anything threatening happened dad always said violence wasn't the answer. He always found a peaceful way to solve a problem, but ponies were being hurt right now. Every single second was suffering for somepony in my home. Sometimes, violence is the only answer.
I grit my teeth and picked my brain for absolutely any way to hurt the monster. It was made of dark magic, manifested into a solid form, but the burning and bubbling indicated it was still energy. If I generated an electromagnetic pulse I should be able to disrupt it’s body. Only problem was I would have to hit the right voltage and waveform.
“Hey! You! Are you able to cast?” A voice demanded from behind me.
I wheeled around seeking the voice. Two pegasi stallions, one a rusty red the other a dark blue stood in the castle doorway. Each of them had on the field plate issued to veteran soldiers as well as a crossbow.
I nodded, “I think I can disrupt it’s astral form.” I turned back around and started to charge my horn with magic. “But I’ll need a few shots to get the waveform and voltage right.”
“We’ll buy you time. Can it use ranged attacks?” the same voice asked.
“Yeah but it’s having too much fun with the privates. Oh! Solid weapons are useless, try lightning!” I called as I fired off my first pulse.
The pale blue bolt lanced from my horn, splashed against the monster’s chest, and simply dispersed. “Okay, so a rectangular waveform won't work…”
“Keep trying!” one of the veterans ordered. I heard a whoosh as the two took off.
I readied my second shot. The monster swept a beam of pink death down the street, melting stone and trapping a group of panicked guards. A few of the remaining guards managed to form up into ranks and fire bows, but the arrows simply rotted away like the spears.
The two veterans shot into the sky, grabbed a pair of clouds each, then dove down in complementary spirals, throwing lightning at each intersection, then shooting off in opposite directions. The monster screamed, enraged not injured as the six bolts crackled across it’s body.
I fired my second pulse. Nothing, the monster simply ripped a statue from the ground and threw it at the blue pegasus. The stature missed, slamming into something with the sound of a sledge hammer hitting a watermelon.
I hurriedly readied my third pulse, praying to anything listening that a damped sinewave pulse would do something, anything. The two veteran pegasi climbed up, looping back to face the monster. They moved through the air in a corkscrew pattern, throwing a few bolts as they flew, peppering the thing’s face with low voltage shocks.
I fired the third pulse. The pale blue energy slammed into the monster, it’s body crackled, organized shape turning into chaos for an instant. I smiled, charged a second pulse and fired. The bolt struck just as the monster’s shape returned. It’s eyes locked onto me, the two veterans fired in unison, the lightning bolts slipped through it’s dark magic skin.
Blinding purple light filled my vision, a pained scream rang in my ears. A few heartbeats later I picked myself up from the ground, ears still ringing, eyes watering. The monster was dead, in it’s place lay the Magus’s original form, crumpled into a broken little pile.
The red pegasus was waving his hoof in front of my face. I saw his mouth, but nothing came out. Sound returned to the world halfway through his sentence, “-hear me?”
“Yeah, I can now.” I moaned.
“What?” He asked, obviously not hearing me.
“I said I can hear you.” I shouted.
“Oh. Midnight and I are going to take these greens and see if we can't save anyone. We could use your horn.” He informed.
“I need to clear my head,” I rubbed my forehead with a hoof, I could feel a migraine starting to form. “I’ll catch up.”
He nodded and quickly turned to face a small group of battered guards who were picking themselves up off the lawn. “Right! Everypony who’s injured but can move, drag the dead into a pile. Everypony who can fight, follow me. There’s still evil to smite.”
With surprising speed the two pegasi veterans organized everypony into groups, got a field hospital established and marched off towards the center of town. I sat and watched, doing my best to will my headache into submission. A minute after the two were out of sight the throbbing began to die down.
“Oh thank Luna,” I groaned getting to my hooves to follow them.
The Magus jerked upright like a puppet on strings. Everypony screamed in panic, our voices lost to the sound of battle. She shook like a thing possessed, turned her head, spat out a mouthful of blood, and shrugged. “Huh, well, that happened.”
The swords she had stabbed into the ground glowed as she lifted them. A flick of her neck and the blades scythed through the air. The twelve ponies tending to the wounded fell, blood pooling beneath them.
I took a step back, frantically trying to think of anything I could do. Her blades sliced for my neck, I froze in panic, clamping my eyes shut. Nothing happened. I slowly opened one eye, her blades ringed my neck in a pentagon of steel.
“Not bad filly,” she said in a creepily honest tone, “you have talent… and quite the odd aura. You could make something of yourself with the right teacher.”
“I’ll never join you!” I growled, ears flattening.
The Magus laughed, and trotted forwards. As she drew closer I could see her uniform had a full mask under her hood. A single piece of arcanite with a ruby set in the forehead just above and between her red slit pupal eyes. “Of course you wont. Magus are not made, we are born. A single bloodline stretching all the way back to my King and his bride. No amount of training could make you into me… but you could become something equally powerful in a different school. You have potential, and given your little spell, you certainly have talent.”
“You’re going to kill me?” I asked timidly.
“I would sooner destroy a stained glass window then an artist such as yourself… but since I can’t have you hindering me.”
The violet flash of a stun spell lit her face as the bolt streaked for me. In that single instant I saw a necklace beneath her hood. It was black, gray, and red. A shield shape with a large ruby set in the center, topped with a unicorn’s head and a pair of feathered wings. Then the world faded to black.
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Witch, not which.
5869005 D'oh! Fixing.
5869005 Aside from that error, how's events shaping up?
5869019 Very exciting! I can't wait to see what happens next.
"GODDAMNIT, I TRUSTED YOU!! FUCK YOU... AND FUCK YOUR EARTHROOT!!!"
Heh heh heh, once again, another brilliant chapter
The alicorn amulet?
5869586 Huh. Unintentional reference for the win! (Seriously never plaid Deadspace.
5870413 Obviously. Or at least, an alicorn amulet.
5870689
you should, I beat the 3rd one many times.
5870709 The first one just didn't entertain me so I never finished it.
you portrayed the magus well.
either your a nerd about that as well, or us dark lords are too predictable
I must search my tomes for that amulet.
5871898 Darklord? My good sir The Magus is simply this stories "The Dragon's The Dragon". Aka, the second in command's second in command. This is not the Big Bad, nor even the Big Bad's Dragon.
As for the amulet... It's a cannon amulet.
5872100 "dark lord" as in "dark lord wannabe"
sort like the kid who tries to be cool, but isn't, but tries hard enough to warrant "cool kid" title with quotations
5872112 Perhapse a bit more then that, but yes. She's the type with some real power who actually beleaves the cause.
5872122 cewl
5884636 Ya linked the wrong video mate, but yes that's what I'm referencing.
I had hoped this arc would be finished by this point, if only because I don't like ending on cliff hangers and this is a pretty big one. I was just starting to like Taylor too, they (do they have a title besides 'band of nerds' or 'those hybrid-humans'?) aren't prepared for what they are going into at all and Dinky isn't in a good position to help like she imagined.
I'm really enjoying the story; The shout outs (though referring to The Incredible Captain Taylor as anything other than the greatest captain ever almost got me to make a scathing comment), the holy grail of Nerds in Equestria (allied with non-evil changelings, no less), the world building, the xenophilia jokes, the trolling AI leader, and a case of anthropomorphism I can get behind even if I personally wish that the spectrum was lower in number.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/596/125/928.jpeg
Tess and Kailey rate between a 4 and a 5, and Taylor rates a 3 as far as I can tell from the artwork posted. I know it doesn't matter in Tess' case (and I hope to see the limits of her shape changing) and most of her changes were internal, and Taylor is probably as far down as she can go while still meeting the 60% human requirement, but I feel Kailey could have gone further. A muzzle and hooves like Taylor, not that Taylor's muzzle really comes across in the artwork.
Still, you use the opportunity to anthropomorphize them all at different levels is an amusing twist. I normally don't like anthro stories because they take the otherworldliness of interacting with different species by humanizing them. But where everyone is their original species except the HiE that is anthropomorphized is a relatively unique concept. I think the only time I've seen anything like that before was Hands and Hooves, and My Little Pony Journey (notable in that humans exist in the setting and the protagonist is the only one that gets anthropomorphized). In both those stories it's done well like it's done here, so I'm rather curious why the idea is not more popular... I guessing it's because it's still not parity with the ponies, and they'd still be treated as different instead of just another pony.
I loved that how the AI was built up, how much care and analysis went into it's decisions, and yet In regards to Taylor it acts like the Nutrimatic Machine from Hitch Hiker's Guide, specifically to troll her even knowing that short term she'd react very negatively toward it, hoping the long term effect she has on others would win her approval.
The tone of the story is really light... most of the time, and I hope that continues. These nerds bring a breath of fresh air into a setting that is trying to be dark, and that's the best kind of insert story, while not making it a crack fic.
I've one comment, and that it feels like Kailey isn't being distinguished enough. I know her point of view is very analytical (even more so after her upgrades), but she is basically playing second fiddle to Tess and Taylor's situation is unique enough that it pulls the reader's attention away. It's kind of early in the story though so I'm guessing you'll rectify that. It's just, Tess is living the pervert's dream, Taylor is living the other kind of pervert's dream, and Kailey is... yeah. Not being very distinguished.
I know you said you were thinking about making a separate NSFW clop story, and I think you should totally go with that idea. Instead of it being horny rutting though, it could take a hint from the better atmospheric and tf/tg clop fiction and be more exploratory.
Tess can shapeshift and a super xenophile, and there are stories there that can be told. Especially since she is so open about different situations.
Kailey is smart, analytical, can do anything a Pegasus can do, and is specifically designed to make her attractive to both Tess and the Scout.
Taylor has a super image problem but is also designed to be attractive to... well, anything that moves apparently. Like, serious attraction potential. Would be reluctant to be sure, but one would hope that she'd eventually appreciate the changes as being the best possible thing to happen and maybe even take advantage of it later. Would even be funny that, being changed as she is, she might even develop a preference for quadrupeds or at least have no inhibitions about it. I wonder if Taylor is changed enough to enter heat, if that's a thing ponies do? Watching Taylor be corrupted would be amazing.
All three have tons of clop potential and exploratory clop at that, and even reluctant and slightly angsty kind from Taylor. To not do anything with it seems like it would be a wasted opportunity.
5886738 S-someone left me a thoughtful comment explaining their likes, dislikes, and opinions of my story in an educated manner. HUZZAH! https://youtu.be/XFX8S9aAgvw?t=32s
I was getting the feeling that people weren't liking this story anymore. Thank you for giving me the motivation to continue writing it! I'll just reply to your points then finish up the next chapter.
The first adventure will conclude with the next three chapters, I have everything drafted out and should have it finished by the end of the week. I'm glad you're a fan of Taylor, character needs more love from people. As for a name I've been thinking about 'the Crew' but that sounds rather bland. Would you like to lend me a hand with that? Also of course they are not prepared. Some tec and one week dose not a warrior make. Dinky has some experience as an adventurer to fall back on, but if you've seen Dr. Who she lacks any combat experience. She's a puzzle solver, not a fighter.
The opinions of the author and those of the characters may not be in agreement; the Incredible Captain Taylor is and always will be, Best Captain. I would like to know what you mean by Holy Grail of Nerds, is that some sort of fandom thing? As far as the anthropomorphism goes...
I also would like to go further, to a 3 at the highest. Tylor (She'll start spelling it with an 'a' later, Tylor is a properly spelled last name FYI.) is more of a 2 in my envisioning of her only with functioning hands. On that scale a 2.5 would be accurate. I am not a good 2d artist, I may do a 3d rendering to clear this up in the future. Speaking of the future, Phoenix only transformed them as far as her current permissions list allows. There may be more in the future once they start having to deal with Equestria more and once her code locks are loosened up. (Damn you administrator privileges!)
As for Tess's shifting limits, it's pretty simple actually. She has no magic. All of the power a changeling would normally have is routed to her ability to shape shift. She can use any advanced trick the ling's have developed (but needs to train up to that point. I write shifting as a skill based activity.). She is limited by the normal changeling limitations, namely:
A changeling can become anything as long as their form dose not violate these rules:
The individual must have some idea of what they are becoming.
Observing a creature or object is not enough, an effort must be made to understand the differences between the changeling and what it wishes to become. They cannot assume the shape of something they have not meditated on to understand.
The new form can not be composed of fictional materials.
Changelings are incapable of using their shapeshifting to cover themselves in adamantium for example. All substances of a form they create must actually exist outside of fiction.
The form taken must not have more than double or less than half the mass of their current form.
If a changeling wanted to become something five times larger than itself it could do so , but would require multiple shifts to do it, and thus use more power. Consequently few changelings assume the form of significantly larger or smaller creatures.
Any special powers a creature has which are not the result of its biology can not be replicated.
This is so the changeling can change back to it's original form. If they were capable of changing their magic as well as their body, they would be trapped in the new biology. As a result, a changeling who becomes a dragon can breathe fire, but the fire is mundane and has none of the properties of dragon magic infused fire. A changeling who becomes an alicorn dose not posses the ability to use alicorn magic, and has become no more powerfull then they were in their native body in terms of active spellcasting.
Changelings can not gain the abilities of other changeling castes aside from their own.
While a changeling can edit their own appearance into anything they wish, including being able to appear to be another caste of changeling, they can not replicate the special abilities of that caste.
I like science fiction to be hard with a few soft spots. I first decided to make it an anthro story because well, the reasons the story specify. Also I dont like humans, our biology is... boring. I never plan on ponifying them completely though, that would ruin the poin t of an HiE because the ponies reactions are an important part of the formula. However as mentioned before I plan on making it go a little further still in the future for reasons of easing social interaction. (That's why I had everypony find Tylor adorable. So Pheonix gets the idea of "Ah ha! Genetic Modification: Bring me Diplomats beyond Diplomats!"
There is a reason for that actually. It's not been stated bluntly in the story (remember the framing device is journal entries. If Pheonix wanted to be sure to keep something to herself she wouldn't mention it.) but you may remember a certain pin on Tylor's collar. You may also remember a bit where Twilight, Rust, and Midnight are talking about hearladry. That pin IS important, and also is why Tylor is being trolled more then everyone else at the moment. Phoenix is attempting to make her crack to see if she's some sort of double agent. She trusts Kaily and Tess, but not Taylor. Because of the pin. However she also likes to screw with people's heads because it's fun.
That's kinda the whole point I am trying to make here actually. "A better future can be built. It takes hardwork, there will be some violence as the old world changes, but a new world can be built from the ashes." (That's the reason the construction ship is named Pheonix FYI). I want this story to be a tale of the old, crule, depressing world being shaken off like dandruff and made into something better. Not just for ponies, but for everyone.
As a part of that, the human characters are lighthearted, joking, fun loving types. Twilight and Co are the shaken, PTSD types as they have had the illusion of a good world torn down and have seen it's real face. Genesis (the Magus) is a person who has lived in the real world from birth and sees cruelty as efficient, she is an example of the old guard which could potentially be saved. The real big bads of the story represent the forces which stop a world from progressing for selfish reasons.
I realized that myself actually. I wrote in a bit int he next chapter where A her upgrades finally kicked in, B she has the opportunity to shine, and C has gotten used to the situation. I based Kaily off of my girlfriend's personality (she's not a carbon copy, I do my best characters by basing them on real people to a certain extent.), and she would take a while to get used to a new world. It wouldn't bother her in a bad way but she would be off her game until everything started to seem normal.
As for Tess... yeah she's a total perv and a bit of a nymphomaniac. Hell she's playing CoC on her laptop in the first scene she's in. Archatypicaly she the Ethical Slut, http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EthicalSlut . I am actually curious to know what you mean by Taylor is living the "Other pervert's dream". What is your impression of her? It seems far more interesting then my own! (A good thing IMO.)
I actually am. There is no reason for there to be clop in the main story, but since it's such a large part of Tess's character I'm planning on a few shorts. However, it's basically going to be a deleted scenes reel, so naturally it;s not going to be just a hard core fucking. Ever hear of the site called F-List? I have been a member of F-List since it was 3 months old and have spent the entire time doing story based erotic RP. I can write toiletplay as a romantic and loving scene. I wont for this story, that's just an example.
As far as Tess goes, she's in squee land. While she docent like quads, she docent object to them. In time she, and Ad'ika (it's Mando'a, it means "little one". She's a runt. The top of her head would touch Fluttershy's noise in her real form.) will have an open relationship. Howeaver Kaily may demote herself to "best friends with benefits" in light of future developments.
Kaily isn't very focused on sex. She is a romantic sort. Properly motivated though, she would have no objections to doing most things with any sentient creature. If it passes the Captain Jack Test, comes on to her (or is yellow, pink, and made of squee), and seems to want a relationship not just to knock boots/horseshoes, she's pretty open to fun.
Taylor... I think I'd like to work with you on developing her character. PM me please! I've been stuck on how she should grow as a character. But regardless of further developments, she now enters heat and likes quads. Why? Oh my god that is a hilarious idea!
5888145
Well, groups in Equestria happen pretty rarely. Almost every single HiE story is a single person and almost none of them can really be nerdish. Or if they are, it's being a nerd about MLP:FiM show and creepy.
There are a few group fanfics of nerds, though the number of them that aren't bronies are... I think none save this story.
There are a few nerd groups in stories about virtual worlds like Equestria Legends Online (the specific story I'm thinking of is Equestrian Legends Online: Tale of the Misfits), or the original Friendship is Optimal for a few chapters before everyone is sharded away and are expected to 'roleplay' (it's not roleplay if your thoughts are changed to always act that way, as they discover). Then there are all the universes where people turn into ponies on Earth: PonyEarthVerse, OC Tales, and Five Score Divided By Four, but they hardly count and aren't on Equestria. And in all the cases, they know of MLP:FiM.
Off the top of my head, there are at least two other Nerds in Equestria stories:
First is A Three Foal Wish, where three friends appear in Equestria in the bodies of three young colts who happen to be brothers (they weren't brothers before arriving). It's a very light hearted story and they joke with each other all the time.
Second is Caverns & Cutie Marks, which is probably as close as it comes to this example because while the group knows of MLP:FiM, that isn't what they are actually nerds about. They are nerds about D&D and for that reason alone are pulled into a game Discord started with the M6 and ponified, then geased to not be able to explain they weren't always ponies. As annoyed as that makes them, they roll with it and soon as demonstrating all the terrible habits of a long term D&D group, to the horror of the M6.
Nothing says nerd friendship like pushing your friend into a room full of traps because it's quicker than disarming them. Or making fun of each other when they critically fail and almost die. Cue friendship
screaminglecture from the Princess of Friendship while they explain to her how their friendship works.(Amusingly Pinkie Pie is the only one who memorized the entire rulebook because some ponies played the tabletop game at one of her parties so she had to know how to DM. Pinkie Pie DMing, just think about that for a second.)
Hoho, I like where you are going.
ponybot.net/pix/8349.jpg
Personally the only anthropomorphism I like is basically a 2 or a 3. And you almost never, ever, see a 2 here. I can't think of a 2 story at all. I think the closest I've ever seen was Lyra Heartstrings in A Zoologist Dream where she learned how to walk bipedal from a minotaur and shows off her skill here to a human:
i145.photobucket.com/albums/r232/regeice/clHANDSHAKE.jpg
(She is still 100% a pony though)
Another example (no picture) is from the latest entry in The Chaotic Touch of Harmony series is the Alicorn Aurora Sky, who had invented an anthropomorphism spell when she was a teenager and was crushing on a human who didn't seem attracted to a pony. She'd been tweaking it for over 80 years by the time the third entry in the series came out, and this is what she settled on, which sounds about as close to a 2 as I've read:
Anyway, 2.5 sounds about right for having hands but looking like a 2.
When anthros have large breasts, full clothing, and are very tall I feel is really defeats the purpose of using the MLP setting. I've always felt the point was to highlight their traits of humanity using inhuman (but still very expressive) creatures, and showing how inhuman creatures can still interact in what appears to be a human setting is half the joke.
I certainly look forward to it. I think Phoenix is relying on them riding the slippy slope since there are no other humans around to reinforce their need to remain human looking beyond what Phoenix needs for now and a whole world full of races that are distinctly not human (save for minotaurs, and even then), and once the humanity ratio requirement is remove...
And what about scales of a dragon? Dragon scales are magic resistant, are very strong, and can survive extreme temperatures like bathing directly in lava.
Feel free to just PM me the answer if you feel it's too many spoilers, but didn't Phoenix have full access to all three of their memories? She (it? I think I'll go with she) knows exactly when Tylor got the pin, and how freaked out she was about it at the time.
Captain Jack Test? You gotta explain it in the story.
Heh, PM it is.
5892474 Ah! So i hit a nitch that hasn't been filled yet. Gotcha :3
Yep! That's roughly the idea ^>^
For my AU, all ponies can walk like that. But it's not very comfortable, so 99% of everypony remains quadrupedal. However fighters will learn to walk upright to leave their hooves free to use weapons. It's a big part of guard training.
Yeah, more pony features then human features save for hands, some of the skeletal structure, and breasts (small ones, just enough to see abump) atop chest not near groin. Basically enough to show human heritage but still a pony.
That's basically what's going on. If she didn't need specifically a human to give her command privileges back, they wouldn't be remotely human.
If it's a biological function,a changeling can mimic it and use it no problem. They basically have a unlimited duration Polymorph spell as a Supernatural Ability, with the ability to take racial classes to improve the further.
Remember when Pheonix said her main systems are offline pending her reactor restarting? Well her primary computercore is a part of that. She's running on a degraded backup copy of her main systems patched together by changelings and activated in the first place accidentally by a magic surge from a certain somepony long ago in her adventuring days. Additionally, in a world where reading an organic's memory is as simple as reading a computer file, it's equily easy to WRITE toa memory file. Also security systems would be implemented. The pin could be coincidence, but her programming is stating she needs to check to be sure the data she got isn't fake. She is behaving irrationally. This is because 31st century AIs run on bioneural circuitry. She is jsut as much of a person as any organic. The downside is she can behave like a human... unless her programming specifically orders something.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/40807a2cbd0653ce81b202fe0a202782/tumblr_mg4s3sj40v1ri0u79o1_500.png
6004472 If you used banned cards and are using a resurrection spell, I'm going to have to use mental misstep, because free counter spell is op. If it has undying, I'm just going to flip you off and use path to exile. And if, for some ungodly reason, Wizards of the Coast gave it undying AND hexproof, I'm going to have to use Hallowed Burial.
You shall die...somehow
I read this a few days ago.
I enjoyed this chapter; the scene at to the mines, the battle against the Magus, and Dinky. Several of the best parts, and, naturally, I'll add more to each of them. I was glad that Pinkie got away; though, it'd be weird if she doesn't make an appearance again. If she got away simply to give a warning to Ponyville, then that was just tragic. I'll be looking forward to what will happen to her later.
Running for all that time without a break, it is not surprising in the least that Twilight surrendered without a fight. Surrender was a great action; I could see a small battle before surrender, but that would have been illogical given the situation. I enjoyed the display of power by the Magus, and the small battle of wits (sorta). It was also pleasant to see the mines, or rather the diamond dogs.
Dinky has been shown to be very fun. I really enjoy all the timey-whimy-wibbly-wobbly-stuff. All the time travel's knowledge makes it quite fun. How does interacting with one's self in the past not cause a paradox? Or is it that it will erase the timeline the older Dinky is from? Unless the multiverse theory is in effect here? Anyway, her personality and interactions (the humor of it all) caused her to shift a little higher on my character list -- perhaps I should write that list at some point, and then I could list the changes over the weeks, days, and months (that sounds fun, honestly). Er... I went off on a tangent.
The battle with the Magus, between Ponyville's guards and Dinky, played out much like a QTE (quick time event) in a game... and I love it! Needing to find the right frequency (or something) to disrupt the magic was great! Ponyville's guards were way out of their league, yet they decided to fight on with the help of Dinky. Honestly, this played out in my head similar to a cutscene would in a game (or the QTE). On the other hand, I'd have liked to see a little more of the town during the commotion; perhaps Dinky having to run through part of Ponyville by the time the diamond dogs show up. I believe that is just my curiosity.
I'll make sure to comment after I finish reading the next chapter. This one feels so... lackluster (the comment).