• Member Since 18th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Seeking Dusk


Myriad the ideas in eternal blossom, Meager the words ever written, such is the plight of the one Seeking

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Not every wishing star is real, nor do those that are have any real power, but when three friends wish on one that meets both criteria, they end up in Equestria, missing more than a few years of maturity. Tossed into a new life because of a blotched attempt at wish granting, coping is going to be the first challenge they face in a world that isn't quite what they expected.

[Image made using generalzoi's pony creator.]

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 233 )

Onwards and upwards! Also, I am going to favorite this SO BAD!

I'm faving and liking this so hard, it might leave a mark. :scootangel:

Yes, me too!
I liked the story so far and the part where they got new memories and had to sort them out first.

Great story so far! loving the whole brother bond thing you got going on. Looking forward to the drama, the magic of new discovery, and of course, them trying to survive as kids in a world where every mare would probably dote on them like fawns! Keep the chapters coming mate!

:pinkiehappy: Faved:pinkiehappy:
:pinkiehappy:Liking this story so far cant wait to se there interactions with the crusaders:pinkiehappy:

Nice story man... have a like and a fave

This story certainly looks interesting, a different spin on "group of friends travel to Equestria" in that they turn into their OCs who have a "history" there. And said history does not involve being OP or other common Sue pitfalls. Gonna be watching this; seems like it could be a interesting read.

I wonder if it's the same day as Twilight Sparkle's Welcome to Ponyville party. It would require Pinkie Pie to be in two places at once, but that's no obstacle.

I'll add this to my read later list and give it a shot when I have the time. Am willing to give the story a shot. :twilightsmile:

Flare jumped in brief span of time it took the flood of hormones that pegasus were prone to in stressful situations tensed his muscles, causing him to topple over with a curious bleat before the he relaxed enough to move again, scrabbling a bit as he got his hooves under him.

Pegasi are part goat:rainbowlaugh:

I'm definitely going to use that

That's another added to my favorites...

References in the first chapter? I can tell we're gonna get along JUST fine...

4945559
yeah. thats never been an issue for pinkie.:facehoof: mirror pool anyone?

For some reason, he reminded him of someone with his vaguely connected ideas.

YES.
ALL THE YES.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!








4981449 I agree with this gentlemane!!

MOOOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Looks at title.*
*Looks at cover image.*
*Looks at description.*

madametalbot.com/13/ani/nope.gif

4974532
No pinkie uses time travel but forgets that...
No wait she just edits the story to be there

WHAT? How does a new writer with a HiE... No, scratch that a BiE story and Pony Creator cover image and nothing obviously interesting in the description get featured? And that like to dislike ratio?

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

This writer has to either:
1. Hack Life
or
2. Be the best bucking writer ever

5015250
5015123 I don't get it either. Not to discourage the writer of course, it's just a mystery. Congrats all the same.

, he mind supplied light skinned hands

*his

He did might not take a lot of things seriously

Get rid of "did"

After the Prologue and Ch. 1 I can honestly say: Author, you are bucking amazing. You broke the stereotype.

You did something so implausible, I have to do something equally implausible and bump my fave list maximum to 6 instead of 5.

5015289 Did you actually read the story? It's pretty dang good. It deserves all the likes it has.
And it isn't quite as cliche as it seems... there's a twist.

5015305 I did now, it was just the front I see. That's actually. A really nice change.

direction the thought Ponyville lay

*they thought

So, Silver and them were always part of events in the first place, huh? Or maybe just the brothers were, and their human selves are gonna buck things up?
Never mind. That sounded dumb.

“Our normal names are going to attract attention we don’t want,” Daine said

ERRRRRNNNN! MISCONCEPTION ALERT!

“Lyra was the most normal name, and even that one is a bit odd.”

Wrong! (No offense, you're a great writer, but...) Luna is a normal name (It's Spanish). Trixie is a normal name (Ever watch The Fairly Odd Parents?). Joe (As in Donut Joe) is a normal name. Holly (Holly Dash) is a normal name. Macintosh is a normal name. Gilda, Matilda, and Gustave le Grand aren't ponies, but they are in Equestria, and they have names any human could have.

Sure, many ponies have names few humans would name their child... But "North West"? "Apple"? Celebrities have proven that naming your kid things a pony could be named is perfectly acceptable...
...Sort of.

Even so, the brother’s split up

No apostrophe.

Dinky's big sister said we should met all of you

*Meet

Twilight gets to town in time for bunch

*Brunch

“We’ll meet at the library when we are done this part.”

*with this part

Her home wasn’t head to find

*hard

And That's all. Looking forward to updates!:twilightsmile:

5015250
5015307
I'm glad you guy's like it. I wasn't aware it made the featured box either, that's just awesome. :pinkiehappy:

5015355 I agree with you on that point, but Daine is painting the issue with broad strokes. Though I'll admit to laughing at North West's name when I first heard it.

This is my main problem with stories pertaining to humans in Equestria. People just don't know how to do character introductions RIGHT.
I don't want to read about people arguing about nintendo or what they're going to do for the weekend. Yes, maybe it might be a bit necessary for worldbuilding (which doesn't seem very necessary in a HiE story) and character introductions (which is best done in the HiE part, in my opinion, though I get wanting to show us a bit of their pre-Equestria lives. Not that it works here). But it's just not very interesting reading this first chapter, which appears to be about fuck all and not much else.
And in terms of character building, I haven't seen much at all. I know that Diane is a bit of a biter (yay, a quirk! Anything else interesting or otherwise distinct about this character?), but thus far they all just seem to be names on a screen. I can't assign identities to them. I can't view your characters as characters as of yet, just words that I'm told 'bite' each other and tend to reference pop culture. Yes, this is only the prologue, but the prologue is the introduction. It's what is meant to draw people in. If you can't draw people in with the prologue, you aren't getting as many views, and the ones who decide to persevere in hopes of something maybe being good or in desperation for any HiE at all aren't going in with very high hopes.

5016516
This story really is a "diamond in the rough".
On the surface it looks like your generic BiE story.
I would have automatically downvoted if I hadn't found it on the featured page.

After a somewhat lackluster prologue, the story gets good. It has an interesting take on ponification, the characters are interesting, grammar and spelling errors are few, and no one's a Mary Sue.

5016670
Just so you know, a friend has told me I tend to ruin things by overhyping them. So don't go into this expecting the best story ever and be disappointed because it's just "alright".

You are one of five people I know who have played Ace Combat 4. And for that I now like you.

Given that it's a three foal wish, I'm guessing that either Daine or Diane is a typo and, given the consistent use of "he", I'm guessing the latter.

5018620 Bah... my computer kept auto correcting Daine to Diane. I fixed it for the later chapters, but I didn't realize I missed the first two...

Hmm... not bad so far. Well above my expectations from the typical story that follows this format. My only gripe is that I'm not a fan of the types of fics that go through episodes that have aired (unless its merely referenced and the main cast of the episode isn't even part of the chapter regarding it). Don't know why, but I especially hate the fics that focus on alternate versions of the episodes. Other than that, I'm looking forward to see how you play this out. It looks like you have the potential for being a better writer than your average attempt at an HiE. Here's to hope and support! :pinkiehappy:

I alredy love it. Good job m8.

The story have potential, but I always find it boring when an author just replay everything from mlp without any changes, they just put a pony there watching and do nothing, as if it would be interesting; if you plan to make the foals watch and make sure all is happening as it should, instead of actually do something so things happen differently, then I will consider leaving, but it's still early for that, so good luck.

5082915
Same here. It is always more fun when the timeline starts derailing. Especially when it is largely due to someone trying to preserve it.

Or, Like "A Dream", where the OC's actions slowly make things go off kilter, and it snowballs rapidly out of control, although the first few episodes are pretty close to the show. Admittedly, that one is a bit less reasonable, seeing as it ends up with Vampires and humongous Mecha running around, and only gets odder from there. Albiet all of it being built up over time.

5082915
5082947
I can understand how it's boring. But aside from charging Nightmare Moon themselves in this chapter, there wasn't much else they could do at the moment. Hopefully the next chapter will start to make up for it.

5083051 Oh, I know. If you assume this reality is going to follow the canon one perfectly, then you have to interfere first before anything changes. However, It looks like it isn't. The Speech-Script, and some of the action script is clearly different. That and their suspicious behavior, potentially showing Precognition, could easily cause something unexpected to happen.

And it is a lot harder in real life (and for well simulated characters) to avoid altering events when they have such knowledge. Especially if events don't match up perfectly to start with, making them uncertain as to whether or not to try and put events back on track, and then possibly messing them up further.

And so it begins :ajsleepy:
Good story, even though I must admit I was more looking forward to those slice of life moments.
And school, we cant forget that wonderfull spawn of demons :pinkiecrazy:

You know I had an image of the Doctor showing up after the last bit where he tried to cure Luna. Especially with Dinky there and me misreading it as her saying it. :twilightblush:

Ok, so Rain's picking up that something isn't right. I'm kinda hoping that by the next few chapters roll around she forces them to tell her the truth about what they know. And then chaos will spread, Discord will be released, yadda yadda yadda... I'm just kinda rambling here, don't mind me.

Eternal Night… I don’t know if I can either, but it’s still what we are going to do. Come on, let’s get home.”

I think you messed up your size tag there.

Good chapter. However, I will say that if you don't have a B-story going on or alter the main story to some extent it could get dull, not just to read but to write as well. Believe me, I've tried to adapt the canon storyline myself and now I'm at odds as to whether I should start over on that or not like I did with Collision Code. However, it's your story, do what you will.

I like the perspective from Pure Rain. It was a nice change of pace, and alluded to some of the other elements at play here. Hopefully, this will end the re-interpretation of the canon events and we can get into the other aspects of this story. Which I think are what gives this story it's strength in the first place. Also looking forward to seeing their first day at school. :twilightsmile:

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