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The adventures begin when Discord invites the Mane Six for a "friendly" game of Caverns & Cutie Marks. But nothing is simple when Discord is involved, and the girls are sucked into the game's world; literally!

But that's not chaotic enough for Discord's tastes, and so three Colts (that weren't Colts to begin with) find themselves thrown into a game filled with dangerous enemies, lively villagers, and terrible villains. All in the form of pastel-colored Ponies!

With 9 Ponies in play, a mad god-like being rolling the dice, and forces at work that no-pony could expect, random encounters aren't the only place trouble can come from. Will the Mane Six and the Colt Trio be able to work together to save this strange world? Or are the real villains the ones that come from within the party?

Chapters (100)
Comments ( 325 )

Wait, I thought it was Ogres & Obulettes, not Caverns & Cutie Marks.

5517776 It is in the comic. But until yesterday, we had no idea such a thing existed. So we went with a game of our own devising.

I'm enjoying this story so far, I think the gimmick of three authors writing it is interesting, though we'll see if that means it gets updated at a decent rate or if this peters out like several of the spacebattles round robin stories.

I'm looking forward to reading more. I'm pleasantly surprised by the story, I had thought it wouldn't be as good as it is.

5630745 Yohohoho, I'm de Purple Heart. I'm not sure how other groups of writers go about writing stories, but us three work together instead of passing the torch of each chapter. As for keeping up with updates, we have enough content for quite a while and we're making new chapters every week. Petering out is unlikely.

Does damage carry over between encounters if no healing is done? Purple Heart may be in some trouble.

I'm amused by the concept of the enemies being as nonchalant about interacting with the combat system as the players are. It's one of those issues when the DM controls everything that it's hard to separate the idea of the DM playing the enemies from a neutral party with their own motivations. I can believe it in this case though.

Welp, looks like the tall one made a big mistake. Never give any mischievous entity any kind of loophole to work with.

Wow that sucks. Hammer to the head.

God job pulling off the skyrim joke :rainbowlaugh:

Silly boy. Existential crisis don't really hold much weight to a spirit of chaos.

Must keep running, must keep runing~

Any more and these three will be at *puts on shades* their wit's end.

His patron deity is Discord, isn't it? No other way to explain that much bad luck.

Comment posted by TheColtTrio deleted Mar 10th, 2015

Wits End here.
5720988 You and your puns... I like you

So... Wits' end tastes like mint? He must be awesome to kiss then.

I other news; this was all to get a magic weapon? I wonder what Discord is playing at...

This is actually pretty clever for something planned that on the surface appears hopeless. I'd give the DM props for coming up with this if I was at the table.

“OBJECTION! I am no mare!”

The chief’s eyebrow raised again as he looked the mint and sea-green unicorn over. “Are you sure?”

Wits End nodded. “Yes. Definitely. Wait.” He glanced between his legs, pulling his cloak aside slightly. “Yes. Definitely sure. One-hundred percent.”

:rainbowlaugh: Having to check because you realize that you are in a transformed body and you just assumed that you were the same gender is a transformation joke that isn't played often. The timing here was perfect. Good job.

Blazing saddles reference for the win:rainbowlaugh:

Rock, Paper, Hoof reminds me of HunterXHunter

“I’m referring to why you’re here in this forest,” Purple Heart snapped. Twilight pursed her lips. The purple stallion was being unnecessarily aggressive. The battle was over. There wasn’t any need to add insult to injury.

That's just his naturally low charisma Twilight; it's his dump stat. Also high Intimidate check.

I'm really enjoying this story. It should be more popular. Shame that.

5766059 Yohohoho. Purple Heart here. That was exactly what I was watching while I was first writing up my feats, skills, and the like.

Pinkie... just Pinkie...

Well, I honestly wouldn't mind if she hosted a C&C party. I'd be a bit... concerned if she lead the game, but I'd give it a try.

I'm sorta curious how encounters will go once everyone is together. Real tabletop games get really bogged down when fighting starts with a large enough group. It was a good introduction to have the ponies split into groups of three here, because it gets everyone involved in the combat. A trial by fire, have to learn sort of things.

At least, I think so. Has Rarity's group fought anything serious yet where they had to learn their powers or risk wiping?


Pinkie as a DM would be amazing. Then again Discord as a DM is already amazing too, due to him being able to bring it to life and still having a sense of humor on what is happening. Just imagine Pinkie and Discord teaming up to design a campaign...

Odd, it didn't notify me of two updates, oh well. Nice to see that the weakest starting class ever is well on the way to becoming the most overpowered now though.

Pinkie as a DM:twilightoops:

The concept scares me

Twilight's not gonna give up on the whole Discord's minions thing.

Well they are certainly chaotic enough, especially together, to be Discord's minions. But Twilight forgets one essential thing:

Discord doesn't need minions, he just needs to bring together random people that are already chaotic and the work will be done for him. After all, when he 'discorded' all of the elemental bearers, none of them were turned into his minions, merely changed so they wouldn't get along.

One thing I would point out is that they didn't need to pretend they didn't know who the elemental bearers were, or Princess Twilight Sparkle. They are famous, it would be expected for three random colts to know them if they weren't living under a rock. That they all possess a very strong will to the point where they'd freely argue with a Princess is another matter though.

As for their knowledge, even Pinkie Pie knows the rules to the game.

How do you know Discord?

It may be my headcanon but I get the impression Discord is kind of a thing that just bothers everyone everywhere at least once, just to make sure they all know the randomness that is Discord. I don't buy that he is secluded with Fluttershy all the time.

Plus, despite how they were forced into it, Discord's game is being run fairly and would actually be pretty fun to do if it didn't involve things like real pain I imagine. They should try enjoying themselves like the colts have resigned themselves to.

“Huh. Pony pony pony. Interesting. Doesn’t even seem like a word anymore.”

Curious. Was he going though different human words that are being translated or was he just saying pony?

“Gah!” Wits End mentally screamed. “A little warning next time, please! I could’ve been thinking about anything!”

“...Like what?” Twilight questioned.

“...Never mind,” Wits End replied. “Definitely nothing important.”

It doesn't say good things about me that my first though was sexy things...

And on to more important things: the bandits have plans and tactics! Nothing worse than a DM that uses those for their villians.


was he just saying pony?

That's my interpretation. I think what Geas they have so affected their minds that beyond the novelty of knowing their minds were being forced to choose alternatives against their will, to a pony it has the same significant as using a word like 'one', which is to say no significance at all. 'one' means many things but also means nothing. Or rather, all interpretations in the end mean the same thing: the concept of a single. Every interpretation you can think of that is different from that can be derived from it, and that it's used so often in speech as part of compound words just removes the impact of it.

Of course I rather like the racist interpretations of 'pony' used everywhere, but from another point of view that word probably means a lot less than they believe. It was novel when he was a brony (and thus not included in it), but as an actual pony it's so normal as to have no meaning anymore.

He shook his head and blinked. “Too late, the moment’s passed. Let’s just get to work.”

My interpretation of this was that he tried to do something you'd see in the Xanth fantasy stories, and reveal something protected by the very universe itself. And the test resulted in a bear immediately attacking, so he knows not to do it again if he doesn't want to make his life more difficult.

My guess is that he'd say they weren't ponies a few days ago or claim they were under a Geas.

I really am in love with this story.

The verbal jousting is excellent. Everything about this captures a D&D session descending into madness.

I say they’re all a bunch of candy-colored pansies!”

“Or begonias!” one pony called out, immediately silenced by the glares of those around them.


Abh, the idiots have finally found their companions.... And immediatly wanna kill one another :rainbowlaugh: that's the plan for mine now XD

Let the boss battle begin! Will he form change?

Side effects may include headache, nausea, amnesia, concussion, itchy watery eyes and stupidity

sounds like some thing im going to put in my ELO fic

“You know, I would’ve had more than seventeen of those guys if Ghazghkull here hadn’t kept jumping in.”

“Those who are squeamish of mind should look away now,” the purple earth pony announced in a sing-song voice before charging after Light Patch. “Activate 'Fury' skill! WAAAGH!!!”

Warhammer nerds for the win:rainbowkiss:
(and you wrote it the correct way:twistnerd:)

im more of an Imperial Guard man myself... can go wrong with the 11 barrels of fun known as the baneblade:pinkiecrazy:

and sadly I must condemn this heresy

Nice desperation strike with the horn Wit. You might as well use the point you have.
Firefly Reference was the best part. And Wits' fuming that he didn't get a line.

5906303 This isn't even my final form...

You know, this arc seems to be wrapping up. I wonder where they'll go from here, or if the session will be 'suspended' afterwards, only to resume another time (against all the participant's wishes of course). I mean, in a normal game session this seems like a natural stopping point after the battle.

Discord is such a sellout. I mean adding in an achievement system, really? What kind of no-talent hack does that these days? :scootangel:

Mmm, achievements lead to perks.

What will await next time during the first real break?

Besides shopping and distributing loot and experience points.

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