• Published 8th Nov 2012
  • 47,034 Views, 975 Comments

The Keepers of Discord - Hoopy McGee



Being a statue can drive you mad, yes?

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Epilogue

The place existed nowhere in rational space. It was created out of pure imagination and chaos, with just a smidge of order to give it structure. The barest amount, honestly.

If one squinted just right, it could almost look like a grove of some kind, with a large garden full of strangeness.

Around the constantly shifting non-walls of the place were hung, draped or propped up a variety of paintings, most of which were of a certain statue in a certain grove in Equestria. All of them were by the same artist, all of them were of questionable skill, and none of them were signed.

There was also a bookshelf that could be wherever you wanted it to be at a given moment. It was filled with notebooks, which contained hoof-written, one-of-a-kind stories that you would find nowhere else in any reality.

The master of this place, who looked like everything and nothing all at once, at least when he wasn't concentrating on maintaining his appearance, reached into nowhere and pulled out an envelope, and a single piece of paper. He settled down and, once again, read what his friend had written to him.

Dear Discord,

Well, the doctors say that this may be it for me. I didn't want to believe it, but it's seeming more and more like it's true. This cough isn't just a cough, it seems. I won't bore you with the details, but it doesn't seem likely that I'm getting back out of this bed for anything but my funeral.

I wanted to say thank you. I know that probably sounds weird, since you didn't have a choice and all, but honestly? I had a great time being a Keeper. Tending the garden, cleaning your statue, writing my silly stories and making my terrible paintings, it was all just too much fun! I'm the luckiest pony in the world, to have had that job. I just wish my mom could have seen how lucky I was.

And my foals being a part of it? Well, that was just the icing on the cake, as it were. Winter and Cloud won't want to be Keepers themselves, I know, but I'm pretty sure Summer will. She's my darling little girl, and I know she'll take great care of you.

If I have any regrets, it's that this is happening before I have a chance to meet you, to see if what I did had any impact, made your stay even a little bit more tolerable. It can't be fun, being trapped in stone. I hope I helped make that easier for you. I hope... gosh, I really hope I didn't make it worse! If I did, and you ever get out, please don't blame the children for that. They're only following in my hoofsteps.

I'm going to have to go soon (both figuratively and literally, ha ha), but I wanted to thank you, again. I wish you all the best, Mister Funny Face. And remember, a little bit of chaos is fun and special. A lot of chaos? It's just a big mess.

I wish I could have seen you once again before the end.

All my love,

Sunny Meadows.

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Comments ( 731 )
KMCA #1 · Nov 8th, 2012 · · ·

one downvote already? Really?

:EDIT:
For context this was 1 up 1 downvote when I commented after reading ch.1

Wow, I was still poking around editing this here and there, and didn't even notice that it had been published. Guess I'll stop :rainbowderp:

1581107 ...you published by accident? Huh, took me forever to even figure out how to submit :twilightblush:

1581122

I misspoke, sorry. I meant that I hadn't been aware that it had made it through moderation :twilightblush:

I was just cleaning up some dialogue and stuff, but now that it's live, I'll leave it be for now.

Ohh friggin GAH! You actually had me crying there! For Discord! Bravo good sir, bravo! ~With regards, the Current Student of the Second True Magic.

I won't lie. I cried.

I enjoyed that.

Incredible

no other description does it any justice

You actually made me cry.
I've never felt so helpless reading a story. All Discord could do was sit and watch and before he realized what he needed, it was gone.

For once, I'm happy I ignored the sad tag.

Tears were shed good job, and may sunny rest in peace:fluttercry:

Wow... Amazing. Just amazing.

1581269 Me too :fluttercry: I ... I think I just got emotion-raped...

What we have here is just another reason why Hoopy needs to get a publisher.

this... was.... amazing, incredible, outstanding! its one of the best stories i have read in quite some time, id say you captured discord perfectly, i never expected the story to be as sad as it was tho. thank you for this amazing story :P

Wow... wow. A touching story, about Discord :fluttercry:

...damn you Hoopy McGee.... damn you. I have to say about half way through the 1st chapter I had a pretty good sense of where it was going. However, that didn't make it any easier to deal with. This was one of the better stories that nearly drew tears out of me (I don't often cry when I read.) The question of immortality and watching your loved ones grow old and die has been something that's always haunted me and has always made me think "getting immortality is just stupid" and so it was a wonderful thing for me to see Discord learning about it the hard way. Learning to Love and then learning the pain that comes with it... of course I see a certain family getting the protection of a certain spirit of Chaos. That... that could be some interesting short stories to create...

Anyways, you have my thumbs up, and my favorite.

By Odin's magnificent beard, was this an incredible read. I never thought of Discord as anything but a goofy villain, but to make me FEEL something for the guy? You, sir, have earned all my respect, all my internets, and all my moustaches. :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

EDIT: Also, love love LOVE the character of Sunny Meadows. I fear, because of this story, I'll have trouble referring to Discord as anything other than "Mister Funny Face". :rainbowlaugh:

I didn't see the sad tag, I came from the featured box. I never read sad stories... all I can say is wow.

i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/052/082/1240393095655.jpg

It takes a certain kind of melancholy to make me tear up and this is it.

I know you can't see me, but I'm giving you a standing ovation.

Was Discord late for the funeral? If not, I would love to see a chapter on it, even if its just short. This story was great, and I need more

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curse your existance! Ah but such a good story! Ah confound it all! Im getting cotton candy...

This is a fabulous story. I love the idea of taking advantage of Discord's immortality and making the mortality of the other characters painfully realistic. I don't like sad stories usually, because they tend to be 'Hey, let's see how long it takes to make you cry' fics, but this actually has meaning, and it's great. Wonderful job.

One of the most touching fics I've read, and centered around Discord nonetheless! I know you can't see this, but I am slow clapping through the tears right now, keep up the good work!

No manly tears were shed, but that's kind of common for me. However I would love to see a kind of Slice-of-life series to come after detailing any further lessons (and antics) with Discord. Plus it would be kinda interesting to see how the world is at this point.

ALL OF THE FEELS. :fluttercry: :heart: :applecry:

i.imgur.com/Qak5E.gif

In all seriousness, though, excellent work. I truly enjoyed that little nugget of joy (especially what you did with the Chaos/Order relationship. Personal bit, that, in case my name didn't give it away.) Discord has always been my favorite character, and I could almost hear John DeLancie's voice in my head as I read your portrayal of the big guy. Bravo, fine sir!

Excellent story, my good sir. Excellent story. *Wipes a manly tear*

See, this story right here? If I can write anything CLOSE to something like this, I will be happy.

Stellar job, mate. This story doesn't have enough attention.

This was really good. How it ends makes me sad :fluttercry: But good writing, nonetheless. Rest in peace, Sunny Meadows

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Well, that was depressing. It's not bad, but INCREDIBLY... sad. He loved her, though they never truly got to meet each other. Even so, he didn't need to, because he knew her, and she knew him; even if only in her own mind.

This story should be called Hard to Read, because that's what it is. :fluttershysad: Even though I saw the ending coming a mile away, it doesn't make it any less heartbreaking. Because that's how it always ends - everyone dies. Well... Except for the (un)lucky few. :trollestia:

It's been a long time since I last cried like this. Your story was so well written that if there were any grammar or spelling errors or typos, I missed them all completely or didn't care. I was too distracted by a wonderful story that was as sad and as beautiful as the movie Bicentennial Man. Thank you.

Azu

that was a wonderful story, I very much enjoyed it. I laugh, I cred, but in the end I am left a warm, happy feeling. I love a good heartwarming story. :twilightsmile:

...
...such a story...long...the monster learns to love...no couldn't be...

...no mouth and yet must giggle...hahahaahahahhAHAAHAHAAHAAHAAHAhAHAHAH...aha aha aha...*silence, as if to reflect on the matter*...

...even he gets touched by the Immortal's Dilemma...amazing...sad...yet...

...*spends the remainder of the fanfic reading in silence, clasping my palm over my eyes as the final words of the letter*...

...

you... you bastard ... why .. why did u give me these feels?.... damn all these feels.....


take my fave and upvote... and damn these feels :fluttercry:

1581557
Incredible doesn't do this story justice.
To be honest, I didn't have high expectations of this story when I saw it, but I was insanely bored.
I am very glad to admit that my low expectations were proven very wrong indeed.

That was very nice. Thanks.

Excellent job on this. There's been more than enough comment on the emotionally evokative side of it, so I'll just move on. I don't think that the pathos was even the strongest element of the story, anyway. What really blew me away was the pacing and the character voice.

All of Discord's thoughts and reactions to everything always felt real and true to his character. He's sarcastic and tetchy the whole way through, and even as it lessens by the story's end, it's still there. He never sounds like he's a whining child, he's just grumbling over the annoying setback of being in stone and the constant annoyances of his Keepers. Even the way you handled his burgeoning emotions felt appropriate, being somewhat confused by the new feelings and rationalizing it as just a type of possessiveness. He never starts being "nice" -- or even stops being cruel in terms of celebrating the deaths of the Bearers -- he just changes the way he approaches the nature of life and the world and the merits of balancing chaos and harmony.

(On that topic, the inclusion of the whole "balance between chaos and harmony" theme is my only major gripe with the story. It's majorly overdone. Which isn't your fault, of course. The story would go in an entirely different direction of that theme was changed, and to your credit the ways you illustrated the message were a refreshing breath of originality. And it was also made more forgivable that you went for a simpler approach, keeping it as just a few mentions of the idea and then moving on with the rest of the story. It's always groan-inducing in any story where the message is treated very heavy-handedly and shoved down the audience's throat. An entirely new idea would have been much more welcome, but as far as banging out the same old theme goes, it wasn't too bad.)

The pacing of the story was pitch-perfect. Hands down the strongest thing this story had going for it. There's no magical instant metamorphosis for Discord's attitude, and it wasn't as if there was even a single pony who changed him. It was mostly Sunny, obviously, but I still felt that Ember and all of Sunny's children were still important characters for their contributions, rather than just extra names thrown in. Sometimes the little vignettes had some greater importance, but usually the little episodes' "deeper meanings" were more shallow or hardly significant at all, which is exactly how any story should read. There doesn't have to be a constant bombshell or sudden turn of events when more impact can be made through delicacy and moderation. But best of all, time flowed. It didn't feel like five generations of ponies were passing by, it felt like it was over, as Discord put it, "in the blink of an eye." The meat of the story was 9,000 words and it never once felt like it was dragging on longer than welcome.

One last thing that I'm surprised no one else has mentioned, I thought that the Keepers were wonderful characters. At least the first three had very memorable personalities, and their own life stories all felt believable. There were ups and downs, sudden surprises, the cycles of pregnancy and raising the kids around Discord, it was all very real. It wasn't like a roller-coaster of drama, it was just ordinary life with some spices of excitement. (Like I said before, I'm not crazy about the chaos/harmony message, but I still liked how it was shown.)

As a big fan of Discord, this story wound up being a rare gem and a fast favorite. I didn't quite get much of an emotional response to it, but I found myself enjoying the story too much to be disappointed in any regard. Top-notch work.

Manly tears. That is all.:fluttershysad:

I... Have feels for Discord. congratulations.:fluttercry:

Another wonderful piece of work Hoopy. I always look forward to seeing something new from you.

This is very good.

It the the feels with a hammer. A sledge hammer. Made of candy-cains and bubble gum.

Good job. :pinkiesad2:

This made me cry at work. Man tears my friends. :fluttercry:

I knew Discord would become a cool guy.

I'm picturing him becoming a sort of patron of the arts, a muse, maybe run his own school, hmm? :P

No, I am NOT tearing up. It's just a bit of dust or something in my eye. Both my eyes. Dammit, pass the tissues.

This...was brilliant. Just brilliant.

If there was ever to be a time when Discord would switch sides, this is how I'd want it to be done. :pinkiehappy:

I want more...yet....I want to stop feeling these .....feelings.

I'm really glad I read this. A brilliant idea, that, quite frankly, I wish I'd had. But then again, if I'd thought of it, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed writing it as much as I did reading it. Well done.

Now I want to make a Chaos Garden.

1582978 I have to agree with you on the character bit. Especially with how I felt like I could see how each one affected Discord. The Keepers were certainly well done, as was Discord's reaction to all of them. Few comments have actually noted how well they were written but I'd say this story was built off their backs. It's not a plot driven story or some other type of story, it's one driven by the characters. Characters that are realistic, believable, and well crafted.

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