Tess’s Personal Log: August 17th 2136
Few things are as boring as sitting in a car all day. Even with an awesome alien girl next to you, driving towards a mine of slavers to steal some ore, while moving across an alien planet, driving is still boring. I spent the entire day looking outside and trying to not think about the ESMD.
I always thought that an alien world would be much cooler than Earth. Sure, this technically is Earth, but god apparently tossed the D20 Modern rulebook out having gotten bored with it. Pre-war fallout, and Fallout are not really the same setting when you get down to it. Earth and Equis are sort of the same deal.
Thing is though, Equis rocks are still just rocks. Rusty red, dull, endless rocks. The edge of the Badlands was kinda interesting, trees, and grass sort of checkerboarded and wove their way into the sand and rocks until the desert sort of faded into forest, but then the forest was just trees. Both of these places looked like any other desert, any other forest.
As far as astronomers can figure out the universe is an amazing and epic place. The exoplanet found in star system HD 188753 is literally the same as Tatooine, including the three suns. GJ 1214b is a water world, with no landmass as far as we know. A planet orbiting pulsar PSR J1719-1438 is likely one gigantic diamond. Gliese 436 b is a world made of ice that is literally on fire. Equis… has trees.
I guess that makes sense though, same Class M planet orbiting the same Type G star, same old biosphere. I had just hoped that it might have gotten a little more interesting out there. Fortunately the fauna more then makes up for the meh flora and geography. After all a world with many sentient species has to have all sorts of cool new art, culture, science, customs, biology, and other things I could lose myself in.
Or under as the case may be with Ad’ika. The single minded desire to boink her had faded over the week from a rolling boil down to a dull simmer. The novelty wore down a little with time. I still would love to go out with her, but it’s no longer the all consuming need I felt when I thought all of this wasn’t real. Time wasn’t an issue anymore, so I could slowly pursue a real relationship.
So, when Ed stopped for the night and started to inspect the guns Phoenix had given us, and Kaily deployed the pop out sections of the RV to make room for her to cook dinner, I decided to get a little alone time with a certain somebuggy.
“Hey Addie,” I said looking over to where she was sitting, “wanna look at the stars or something?”
“Sure! It’s the new moon tonight. Luna always does awesome things since it’s dark enough to see everything” she said with a smile.
I got up and opened the door, my nose instantly assaulted by the smell of nature. Rotting leaves, dead wood, and mildew. I instantly remembered why I moved to a desert. “Wait, Luna?” I asked curiously as I stepped outside.
“Princess Luna, one of Equestria’s two supreme leaders.” Ad’ika stepped out of the RV after me before continuing, “She’s the one who moves the moon. Didn’t Her Highness tell you about the Pony kingdom?”
I shook my head.
“Oh. Well, when it’s a new moon Luna likes to do things like shooting stars, auroras, and sometimes show off the galaxy. You know because it’s dark- Er, she’s the Princess of the Night. Part of her job is safeguarding the night, so since it’s so dark otherwise when the moon’s not out she uses her magic to make other things in the night sky look brighter.” Ad’ika explained as she shot the door.
I would have questioned that if I hadn’t seen Ed’s teacher show her the mathematical components of a spell to make light. “Astronomer’s must love her.”
“Not really. You can’t see exoplanets since she keeps the nights so bright. At least, not with normal telescopes. Some mare invented a radio telescope a few years ago, they work pretty well… and Queen Phoenix's sensors are well, amazing, but she can’t let us use them.” Ad’ika sighed.
“I’m sorry,” I sat down with my back against the RV and looked up at the sky. “There are a ton of awesome things out there. I remember a Class D planet called Corot Seven B, it’s so hot on it’s surface that the atmosphere is composed of heavy minerals. When the atmosphere cools down enough it rains molten rock. There are a ton of awesome things in the universe like that, I understand wanting to see them all. I definitely do.”
Ad’ika laughed, “Well duh, I mean you joined Starfleet.” She shivered suddenly, her dull green aura engulfing her body as she returned to her normal quadrupedal form. “Ugh, sorry about that. That double metabolism eats my reserves too quick.”
I frowned, “Do you need to eat? Go right ahead, it never did anything since the eighth time. Seriously, just take it.”
“Thanks.” Ad’ika smiled and me, but instead of eating snuggled up to my side as she curled up, laying atop her legs. “I’ll be fine for a while. Plus I like my hooves too, I’d compare a body to a pair of pants but you guys put the same thing on every day so… yeah.”
I laughed and gently scritched the top of her head, instantly wishing I hadn’t treated her like a pet cat. “Er- sorry.”
“For what?” she asked sounding completely baffled.
“The scratching.”
“You apologize for giving me an affectionate gesture?” She asked looking up at me with her awesome glowy eyes.
“Er- well you see that was reflex. We typically only do that to our pets.” I explained.
Ad’ika giggled and flashed me a grin, “Kinky! I’m more of a dom though.”
I giggled with her, “Not that kind of pet you silly bug.”
“Meh,” she shrugged her shoulders, “it felt nice, keep doing it. Also… we haven't gotten to talk much about just stuff. So… What is it like to travel the stars?”
I frowned. That was a question I couldn’t personally answer, but if i didn’t, as Phoenix said, I would destroy Ad’ika’s entire culture before it could even get a hoof off the ground. Doing my best to sound sincere I did what I always do when I roleplay, and stitched together some game and astronaut quotes.
“A great man once said ‘The surface of the Earth is the shore of the cosmic ocean. Some part of our being knows this is where we came from. We long to return, and we can, because the cosmos is also within us. We're made of star stuff. We are a way for the cosmos to know itself.’”
I flicked my wrist, activating the purple screen of my omnitool and after some fiddling pulled up the picture William Anders took of the Earth from the moon. “This is Earth, the photo was taken from our moon… which is named Luna weirdly enough… Er- anyways, take a look. From out there on the Moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch.’
“Space makes you feel small, it makes you feel meaningless and insignificant as you realize just how tiny you, your friends, and your world actually is. Then, in humans at least, a new feeling develops, curiosity. This little blue dot within the universe holds everything you ever knew on it. So, what else does the universe have in it? What is there to see in the incredible vastness of the one point eight square kiloparsecs of the universe we can see?
“That’s why we call space the final frontier, it’s impossibly large. We could explore it until the heat death of the universe and still not make a dent. Every rock we find, every world, every star will never be the last and there will always be more to see, more to learn. I guess you could say that space travel is the greatest field trip ever.” I flicked the screen away as I finished speaking.
“So…” Ad’ika mused, “the entire point of everything for you guys is to just see what you can see?”
I nodded. “You’ve seen the dramas. It’s right in the opening. ‘Space: The Final Frontier…’”
There was more to the Captain’s Oath then spoken in the show’s narration. I doubt Phoenix had ever played William Shatner’s farewell to the Space Shuttle Discovery to the changelings. I might as well do the whole thing, Shatner’s farewell included. “This is the eternal voyage of mankind. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before. To seek out new science. To build new outposts. To bring nations together on the final frontier. To unite the children of the stars, so together we may explore the reaches of the cosmos and beyond.”
“Huh…” Ad’ika paused for a moment then looked up at the impossible number of shining stars. “So… Helping our Queen get us into space is par for the course for you then? That doesn't seem to be in line with the Prime Directive.”
“You can’t judge the Federation exclusively on the show.” I groaned. This was an old topic for me, one I wound up having to explain over and over again. “Have you ever seen the actual text of the directive? There are forty seven clauses to the directive governing when and when not to follow it. It’s a general order, not a religion. The point is to guide in decision making, the Admiralty trusts everyone who makes Captain to know if they should obey or disobey the directive given the situation.”
Her eyes lit up, “So like Picard said, ‘There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute. Even life itself is an exercise in exceptions.’”
“Yes exactly that! Besides, in your case your species cannot survive on it’s own. You eat the leftover emotions of other sentients. You can't farm love. You are a symbiotic species without symbiotes. Any Captain who found your people would offer assistance. Besides, you already know about us. The PD is really only meant for pre-warp cultures without knowledge of the galactic community. There are different rules for how to act with others in the community. The PD is General Order One, there are like, Twenty Four other equally complex ones.”
Ad’ika made a odd chittering sound which I couldn’t tell was laughter, confusion, or just a random noise. “Huh… so do any of them have anything to say about stealing ore from a Diamond Dog mine?”
I shook my head and grinned, “Nah that’s a different set of orders, the Tactical Directives, my cup of tea. This whole operation would count as rendering assistance to a distressed party, but Tactical Directive Fourteen states we must ensure our operation does not harm any civilians nearby… In this case that would be anyone in… what was that town called again?”
“Ponyville.” Ad’ika answered.
“Thanks. But yeah, this op is Fleet approved. Or at least not prohibited.” I finished.
Ad’ika nodded and was quiet for a few minutes. She snuggled up closer to my side and slowly laid her head in my lap. “Is there anything about what to do with cute alien girls?”
I nodded and cracked a grin, gently scritching her head, “Yep Regulation 142, ‘Kirk’s Law’. ‘All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their CO as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species.’ I am pretty sure your Queen count’s as a medical officer, and well, Ed doesn't care.”
Ad’ika blazed green as she shifted back into her humanoid form. “Well, how about you whip me up something to eat then?” Winking up at me she pointed to a fairly thick patch of bushes to the east, “That looks like a nice spot to eat out, right?”
I thought about it for a few seconds. This was the first time all week when we were alone and had some free time. Who knows when the next one might be? I nodded and gave Ad’ika’s forehead a kiss, “Ok, but I’ve never had raw eggs before.” I joked coyly.
“Trust me, you’ll love ‘em.” Jumping up Ad’ika grabbed my hand and practically dragged me to the bushes.
I was going to need more practice reading her moods in the future, but for now, I wasn’t about to complain.
From the Journal of Twilight Sparkle:
Tailing the human’s vehicle was much easier than I believed it would have been. I had expected them to move in a random or serpentine pattern in an attempt to shape possible pursuers. Or at least to move in anything other than a singular straight line only turning to move around obstacles.
After Dash had flown up to get a better look at the thing and discovered it had no rear window or sensor masts we simply fell in line a few hundred yards directly behind them and ran. It was too easy, suspiciously easy. I had figured we would need to use more stealth than the bare minimum, it felt like a trap.
Yet, both Dash and Fluttershy assured me that their vehicle had no obvious weapons on it. When I flew ahead to check for myself, sure enough, no weapons. I even scanned the thing with my magic, no weapons.
It was weird to say the least. The lack of weapons on the thing was creeping me out. Every human vehicle I was familiar with proudly boasted it’s armaments. I knew that these humans were very likely not affiliated with the one’s I was most familiar with but nonetheless I expected some hidden horror to deploy from the small transport at any minute.
That never happened, it just drove on and on in that one straight line until the sun began to set. The entire day was nothing more than that straight line from the Badlands to the middle of Whitetail Woods a half day’s walk from Ponyville. I was about to figure out a way to stop them before they did something like drive into town when they simply stopped in a clearing.
The six of us skidded to a halt as the hum of the vehicle's motors died, instantly diving for cover behind whatever tree, rock, or bush was handy. I readied my magic, expecting the door in the side to be kicked open and the people inside to come our weapons blazing. A low hum filled the air, I peeked out from behind my tree slowly, looking for anything which might be opening, moving, or charging.
Four small leg-like supports lowered to the ground on each corner of the vehicle, lifting it up and leveling it out. I watched in confusion as parts of the vehicle began to slide and move, expanding sections in such a way which would make the interior more spacious. To my amazement a small awning folded out of one panel and extended to cover the door and a small area around it.
“It’s like some kind of mobile home!” I whispered in excitement.
“They are making camp for the night!” Rarity exclaimed quietly, “Twilight, stealth spell, now!”
“Right!” I closed my eyes, searched for Rarity’s magic and opened myself to her aura. The stealth spell was her creation, but unfortunately she had never been able to explain its workings to me. Since Rarity could never cast it on her own, I had to let her use my magic, guiding it with her own to sculpt the spell.
The teamwork was definitely worth it. As the energy left Rarity and I, I felt all six of our auras ripple as they adjusted to the spell’s energy. The spell instantly rendered us all but impossible to see and hear by anyone aside from the six of us. It wasn’t perfect, the spell couldn't fool someone looking for us specifically, and it couldn’t prevent them from feeling us, but now we could move and communicate freely while remaining safe.
“Ok girls, I want everypony to surround that camp! Lets get every angle we can on it. If you can look through a window do it. If they come outside get as close as you need to listen in.” I ordered.
I quickly trotted to sit a few dozen feet in front of the door, watching it just in case someone opened it. Within a minute the door opened and two creatures walked out. I couldn’t call ether one human. One of them looked somewhat like a changeling, only bipedal, the other definitely looked human, or at least, half human. She was tall, blond, definitely female, every part of her matched Rust’s description except for the green glowing eyes and long slim pointed ears of a changeling.
As the two sat down, the more changeling-like of the two blazed with the familiar green aura, reverting to the normal quadrupedal shape of a changeling. I was familiar enough with her species to tell she was a Scout, “Girls, they have a scout with them. She may be the same one Rust and Midnight encountered.”
“There are two more inside!” Pinkie called looking through the large window on the front. Suddenly she gasped, “Oh my gosh the pink one is adorable! Lyra was right! If you give a pony hands she’s like fifty times cuter!”
“There’s a pony with them?” Dash asked in confusion.
AJ quickly trotted up to the window and looked in, “No… I’d say she’s a half breed, but gosh darn-it if she ain't the cutest thing I ever did see!”
“I know you just want to snuggle it!” Pinkie exclaimed beaming AJ a grin.
“Focus girls! We still don’t know if they are dangerous… But we can safely say they are not with the Arc.” I closed my eyes and concentrated on scanning the human-like creature in front of me. I needed a translation spell and to know exactly what she was.
“Oh my,” Fluttershy said in her ‘look at the baby deer’ voice. “she is cute! She looks just like Derpy’s pet kitten that time she was covered in paint.”
“Seriously?” Dash asked. I heard the sound of her zipping to the window, then a giggle. “Hon! You need to see this! She’s like a pink unicorn-kitty!”
“Only on two legs. Her friend looks more human though, except she has wings… I reckon each of them has a bit of pony blood in em.” AJ informed, remaining focused on the mission.
My spell finally finished it’s work. The changeling-like humans was… mostly human. She had some challenging elements to her but they were not originally a part of her. Her aura suggested she had a changeling's shifting ability but was not yet adept at using her magic. Additionally, I picked up traces of human technology inside her body, but nowhere near the amount I would expect from an Arc member.
I opened my mouth to fill my friends in on what I had learned, “My magic says this one at least is-”
“Oh that’s positively ghastly!” Rarity exclaimed loudly, “That creature is most assuredly cute but her outfit… Whomever designed it should be ashamed of themselves!”
“Girls…” I sighed.
“I don’t know, I think it’s nice.” Fluttershy commented.
“But all that black with such little color… It’s a crime against fashion!” Rarity insisted.
“I think it looks cool.” Rainbow quipped.
“See Fluttershy? Rainbow thinks it looks ‘cool’.” Rarity rebutted.
“Girls! I’m trying to get a translation spell working!” I shouted.
“Oh… Sorry.” Rarity apologized with a blush.
I closed my eyes and began to focus on getting my magic to translate the alien language the human and changeling were speaking in.
“I’m just wondering why she is… or is that a male?” AJ asked quietly.
“What makes you say that?” Rainbow asked curiously, “Chest bumps mean a human’s female.”
“Yeah, but them shorts are mighty tight up front.” AJ pointed out.
“Huh… Good point. Too bad we can’t smell through the glass, that would settle it for sure.” Rainbow replied.
I opened one eye, “Wait, what?”
Pinkie saluted Dash and AJ with a hoof, “Operation Sniff the Alien is underway!”
“Pinkie wait!” I shouted, hoping to stop her in case the vehicle had internal sensors. I was too late, Pinkie had already darted under the vehicle and popped up inside from under a couch cushion.
A split second later and Pinkie's reality warping powers had her crawling back out from under the human’s vehicle. “She’s both! Or um, he’s both! Their both?”
Everypony blinked in unison.
“Wait… so… that adorable er, person is both male and female?” Rarity asked.
Pinkie nodded twice and giggled. “Yeperoonies! But her friend called her a girl so I guess she likes that gender best.”
Everyone was dead quiet for a few short moments. “AJ, remind me to keep Lyra away from… her.”
“That won’t be possible. She’s too darn cute.” AJ groaned. She rubbed her forehead with a hoof, “She’s a bigendered, pink, bipedal, unicorn-cat person… Why is that so cute? It don’t make a lick of sense!”
Dash shrugged, “I don’t know. Twi you should do science or something, she’s like, weirdly cute.”
My translation spell suddenly started to work, “Girls! Quiet, I’m translating now.”
The hybrid was in the process of explaining something to the changeling, a picture projected in the air over her arm. “You’ve seen the dramas.” she said, “It’s right in the opening. ‘Space: The Final Frontier…This is the eternal voyage of mankind. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before. To seek out new science. To build new outposts. To bring nations together on the final frontier. To unite the children of the stars, so together we may explore the reaches of the cosmos and beyond.”
“Huh…” the changeling paused for a moment then looked up at the sky ash she asked, “So… Helping our Queen get us into space is par for the course for you then? That doesn't seem to be in line with the Prime Directive.”
“They’re explorers!” I exclaimed in shock.
“Explorers? How?” Rarity asked.
“Hold on… She’s still talking.” I held up one hoof for quiet.
I listened in as the hybrid explained a few regulations and rules of whatever organization she belonged to. It definitely did not sound like the Arc, there were rules, ranks, interpersonal communication, and to top it off the changeling had mentioned the humans were helping her Queen.
Her queen. As in, the Emerald Queen. An individual whom Celestia believed did not exist, but apparently did. As I opened my mouth to tell everyone we would have to report to Celestia immediately I heard the changeling ask about attacking a Diamond Dog mine. Then the word ‘Ponyville’ reached my ears.
I felt my face grow pale. They were going to try and steal ore from the mine near Ponyville, that could easily cause months worth of hostility from the Dogs. “Girls! I know what they are planning, keep an eye on them. Somepony must observe everything they do and say while I am gone! I have to report to Celestia!”
“Right, I’ll unlink you in thirty seconds.” Rarity informed. I would have to drop out of our shared stealth spell for Celestia to see me.
I ran off into the woods, casting my translation spell on all five of them as I ran. A few dozen yards later I felt my aura ripple as the stealth spell ended. Gathering up the energy I concentrated on a scrying spell and whispered, “Celestia.”
The white oval flickered into existence in front of me, Celestia’s face resolving into view within a few minutes. “Twilight! I wasn’t expecting a scry from you… Have you discovered something important about the Emeralds?”
“The Emeralds do have a Queen and she has hired a small group of pony-human hybrids to steal some ore from the Diamond Dogs near Ponyville! I am literally fifty yards from their vehicle right now, do you want me to stop them here or try and persuade them to not attack?” I asked. Dear added haste to my words.
Celestia’s eyes widened in shock, “Are you certain?”
“Yes! I overheard them discussing their plans.” I looked over my shoulder to make sure everything was clear.
“Twilight,” Celestia said in a commanding tone, “Calm down. I need you to think clearly right now.”
“Right! Sorry, it’s just…”
“Are you certain they are human?” Celestia asked.
“Yes, but they are almost entirely organic, and are not affiliated with the Admiral or Arc. From what I overheard they are a group of explorers… and given they are helping the Emeralds likely mercenaries as well.” I answered.
“Interesting… Would you say they are like the humans of the mirror universe?” Celestia mused.
I nodded.
“In that case, they may not be entirely hostile… You are certain they are going to attack the mine? Did they mention anything specific about that?”
I nodded again, “They mentioned that standing orders mean they have to ensure their operation does not harm ‘civilians’, and that they are taking the ore for the Emerald’s Queen.”
“Then, they are planning a heist, not an attack?” Celestia rubbed a hoof to her chin in thought. “That’s interesting, you said they were almost entirely organic. I assume that means they have the level of technology we are familiar with?”
“Yes, they have a ground transport, and can conjure images from the air. They also seem to have magic. The one I watched speak with a changeling Scout had an aura.” I informed.
Celestia paused for a few seconds. Her face held the concerned, thoughtful look she always had when weighing her options. “I will send extra Guards to Ponyville to manage the Dogs immediately. I want you to go to the mine and watch their plan.”
I opened my mouth to object, Celestia held up a hoof to silence me, “I know, I know. Trust me on this Twilight. We can deal with the Dogs easily enough, but this may be the one chance we have to learn something valuable. If they are working for the Emerald’s Queen ten they are following the orders or lack of orders. How they get the ore they want will tell me something of the Queen’s nature… I will need to know what sort of person she is need when I travel to their Hive after their operation and demand she see me.”
I winced, “Is that wise? We know nothing about-”
“No it is not wise, but it is necessary. For nearly two thousand years the Emerald shave insisted they do not have a Queen. She has intentionally deceived me for nearly two millennia Twilight. I need to know why and what she is planning. You have never seen a proper Changeling swarm, and I pray you never do. If this Queen has been doing little else but working to attack our Kingdom all this time I need to know. So when we know how she operates based on this heist, I will take a full force of Guards and march on her hill and demand to speak!” Celestia informed with a grim nod.
“But, I,” I stammered, “That’s suicide! Nopony has ever survived assaulting the Emerald’s hill according to your own records- Oh my Luna… nopony has survived… I see your point, but you shouldn’t be-”
Celestia waved a hoof dismissively, “It’s just a show of force. They don’t attack unless you fire first. I will be fine. As for you and the Elements, you know where they are going, be there fore they arrive so you can see the entire operation. Do not interfere with anything.”
I nodded, “Ok. Please be careful.”
Celestia smiled halfheartedly, “I will be as careful as I can with a war swarm. Good luck Twilight.”
“Good luck.” I returned with a bow.
I let the spell fade and turned around walking slowly back to the human’s camp. Rarity met me half way back and quickly included me back in the stealth field. Her face looked pale, even for a white furred mare.
“Er- Twilight you may not want to go back to the camp quite yet…” Rarity warned.
My eyes widened in fear, “Oh no! Is everypo-”
“We are all fine, just… well… disturbed.” she said with a slight quaver in her voice.
A loving moan drifted through the woods, followed by Fluttershy’s voice squeaking, “Oh my! That’s not supposed to go… Oh… she likes it… nevermind.”
“The changeling and the ling-human hybrid are apparently lovers.” Rarity informed.
“Oh.” I had seen stranger couples then an alien and an insect, and that would explain why the changeling had laid her head on the hybrid in the usual changeling mating- “Oh!”
I coughed shyly into a hoof to hide my beet red blush, “Er, get the girls we are heading back to Ponyville… I’ll explain on the way. Er, um-if we ever talk to them we left before they-er, started.”
Rarity nodded, “Yes… we won’t mention that to anypony, er anyone.” Looking up at the sky Rarity trotted back towards the human’s camp.
I turned my back to the camp and waited for everyone to get ready to go, doing my best to not think about what the various sounds meant.
From the Diary of Dinky “Muffin” Hooves:
Have you ever gotten to go on a ‘take your kid to work day’ with you dad? Most foals I know who have were bored out of their minds watching their dad work. Not me though. Then again, most ponies jobs are common, everyday things. Not my dad though, in fact he doesn't even have a job. He’s retired.
Also my dad has a bit of a wonky relationship with time. So when I did get to go to his ‘take your daughter to that thing you used to do because it’s Thursday and you could never get the hang of Thursday’ thing it was less of a day and more of a five minutes. At least five minutes from mom’s perspective, it was a good year and a half for us. Time travel is awesome like that.
My name is Dinky Hooves, everypony calls me Muffin, and I got to adventure through time once. Well, twice actually, but I can't remember back when I was a young foal. Also mom had me mid-adventure so that shouldn’t count. So, that’s two counts of temporal shenanigans, or one if you don’t count the first because I was born during it and can’t remember it anyways.
Physically speaking I’m a semi-normal unicorn mare with gold eyes, a blond and lighter blond mane and tail, pale greyish purple fur, and a cutiemark best described as a multi-function sonic device with a purple emitter. I have a slim but athletically toned build that’s perhaps a touch coltish looking, but that’s more than fine. I’m also a bit short for a unicorn, which is less than fine. Overall, I think I look ok which is good enough for me.
My special talent more then makes up for the few problems I have with my body image. After all, not everyone can perform the functions of a sonic probe, or screwdriver as my dad calls them, using their brain. Sure in Ponyville there wasn’t really a need for most of what I could make my magic do but at least I am never locked out of anywhere, and can find anyone I know the biosignature of, and well the list goes on.
The best part is i can use my unique magic to confound Twilight and other magically adept ponies by inducing tissue regeneration and cellular repair. That is to say, casting a healing spell. More importantly that impressed dad, and he’s kind of hard to impress.
My parents are a bit special. No not in the ‘they saved time once’ sense, I mean in the ‘eccentric’ sense. My mom Derpy is a bit of a daydreamer and a klutz, but really nice and caring once you get to know her. Time Turner, my dad, well… He’s hard to put to words, easily distracted by the small things of the universe, and fun loving, but zealously dedicated to an ideal would be a good start. He’s the sort of person you could write an essay on, who many people actually have written essays on.
Not people in this universe though, one three up and four to the left from this one. Dad accidentally trapped himself here a long time ago while looking for a good spot to retire. He doesn't regret winding up here, especially since for him it’s an entire new timeline to explore. From what little I’ve seen of it, it’s a pretty awesome timeline too.
That’s my problem by the way, I’ve seen too little of the awesome stuff out there. Ever have a bite of a expensive or rare food and love it? Same thing. I had a taste of the adventuring life as an eighteenth’s birthday present. Then I got to go back to normality for three years.
Do you have any idea what it’s like to travel six thousand years into the future and meet a really cool pony-centaur hybrid people and help them stop an evil volcano god from covering the world is ash? It’s awesome! It’s like winning a game of chess while experiencing the biggest sugar rush ever and flying at light speed through the vortex on a surfboard made of hawking radiation.
I don’t get to do that anymore, now I work at aunt Steel’s forge as her assistant. That’s ok, and I enjoy building things, but it’s not enough for me and everypony knows it. I inherited more than dad’s binary vascular system and terrible fashion sense, I got his adventurous spirit too.
The dishes from breakfast clattered into the sink as I let them drop from my telekinetic grip. The sun was setting, and aunt Steel would be opening her shop soon. It was a little bit of a pain to have to sleep from sunrise till noon for work, but at least I got to help one of mom’s best friends make cool magic items.
Checking to make sure that my mane cut was tied back into what those awesome centaur-ponies had called a ‘pony tail’, I made my way to the front door only for somepony to knock on it before I could open it to go outside. I quickly tugged the door open with my magic, “I’m about to go to work, I don’t want to be rude but can we walk and ta-”
My eyes widened in surprise as realized I was looking at me!
The other me looked pretty battered, and malnourished. She grabbed me by the neck with a hoof and pulled me back inside as she exclaimed, “I’m you from eight months from now, you have time for this!”
My horn shone gold for a moment as I scanned the other me’s aura. It seemed to match up with mine, but a few different things I knew about could imitate an aura signature. “Right, so changeling test. Wibbily wobbly…?”
“Timey wimey.” She answered instantly.
I nodded, “When it acts up and goes ping you…?”
“Sonic it a bit then smack the bi-radial telepathic circuit housing.” she answered again. “Is this really necessary?”
“I don’t know why don’t I tell me?” I asked with a giggle at my little joke. “Ok, last one. You being here talking to me is a violation of which basic temporal law?” I asked narrowing my eyes.
“None. Dad and I picked this particular ten minutes because the time-flow allows for a stable paradox. It’s the only one before everything goes to tartarus, so can I please have your attention for a few minutes?” the other me begged.
That got my attention, “Hold on… Dad’s meddling in time again?”
She nodded, “Yes… kind of… there’s a really good reason. Let me finish telling you everything before you ask anything ok? Tomorrow morning at three fifteen the diamond dogs attack Ponyville and take slaves back to their mine. A few hours later at about nine a group of nerds who fell through a time vortex attempt to steel a bunch of arcanite from the mine and their plan goes bad. There will be a unicorn mage in the mine who is there to pick up the arcanite and he kills one of them, the cute pink one. Because they failed to get the ore not only is Sombra resurrected by a small group of leftover Tribunal mages, but the Emerald Hive loses their only chance to get a stable home. Furthermore, while Sombra can easily still be resurrected without that arcanite, it will take longer. Those same changelings have access to some advanced technology which could be useful in preventing the Crystal King from taking over Equestria. Like he does in the future as it is now. Without that ore, and if the cute one dies, the future is screwed.”
That was a lot for me to take in at once, “So you need to get me to make sure that they all live and get away with the ore because if you, dad, or mom do it you are crossing our own timeline?”
She nodded, “Yeah. Fortunately, this patch of time means we might be able to change how my timeline goes. You need to help the hybrids and the Emerald’s Queen get the civilization she wants built. There’s more in it for you then avoiding a future where mom’s chained to an undead mage’s throne too.”
“Mom’s enslaved?” I yelped in shock.
The other me nodded, “But you can prevent that. Let the Dogs capture you, the hybrids will free the slaves to cause a distraction, and from that point on do your best to help them ok?”
If it saved mom, the future, and meant I could have another adventure, I was so game. “Ok, I’ll do it. But out of curiosity, what else is in it for me?”
The other me grinned, “Someone in the Emerald hive can custom sculpt bodies, so we could totally get rebuilt into one of those centaur people and keep our magic. Also the one you need to save, is a really cute bi-gendered pink bipedal unicorn-feline-human hybrid and the only one of her friends not to have a romantic relationship.”
I blinked twice, “There is a humanoid equine-feline herm on Equis, who's my favorite color and single?”
She nodded. “Yep… and she is dead in my timeline so-”
“Count her saved!” I interrupted with a beaming grin, “Is there anything else I should know?
“Oh! Yeah, if they refuse to take you back with them their vehicle has a comm unit. Use the code ‘Phoenix Command Override Sigma Four Authorization Commander Faust’ while using your magic to generate a three point eight nine gigahertz microwave frequency inversion on the comm array then demand to be brought back with them and treated as a human… but don’t do that if you don’t have to the trick will only work once then the code is useless.”
“Ok, so it’s ‘Phoenix Command Override Sigma Four Authorization Commander Faust’?” I asked committing the phrase to memory. “How did you figure that bit out?”
“I didn’t dad did, and you got it right. Remember, three point eight nine gigahertz. I have to go now or I won't get back to the Tardis in time to get out of here before the time-line stabilizes.” She informed. In an instant she bucked the door open and bolted down the street, “When I get back to the future I better not be living in a ditch!” she called.
“Are you kidding? You’ll be living here, hopefully with someone!” I called back.
I closed the door, bolted up the stairs to my room, threw open my closet, swept the modest selection of clothing out of the way, and opened the hidden compartment in the back wall. “Let’s see… Tardis key, psychic paper, copy of The Guide, perception filtered dimensionally transcendental saddlebags, and dad’s old scarf.” I muttered as I swept everything but the scarf into the saddlebags and slid them on.
I wound the scarf around my neck, decided was too hot and itchy, and then stuffed it into my bags. Then I trotted back downstairs to head to Steel’s forge, but not to work. Adventure was immanent, I should conserve my energy for tomorrow morning. At least I had a hell of a good excuse to skip work today.