• Published 16th Nov 2015
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Of Gods And Mortals - DeepThought



This… is a tale of ”my” reality, my triumphs, my mistakes, and the sins of a father.

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Chapter 2 - Down And Out In Ponyville

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players:

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

Shakespeare, “As You Like It”


As I drew nearer to the town I couldn't help but come to a slow trot as I immersed myself in sensations long forgotten. The alien-like cold that had chilled me earlier was now receding, and in its place came an equally odd one, the gentle warmth of the Sun.

Huh... why had I censored myself from such things? The extremes may be bothersome but this... this I found myself basking in due to its long absence. For a time, I rested against the railing of the bridge that I found myself on. While I was absentmindedly enjoying my sunbathing, my gaze drifted to the skies. From here I could make out some pegasi clearing the clouds in preparation for a calm and clear day.

Enjoying the tranquility that was offered, I was drawn into the sounds of nature around me. There was the slowly moving brook, a pair of birds serenading one another, cicadas chirping, and in the distance the sound of Ponyville’s residents starting their own morning routines. They all had their roles, as did Sunny. Despite how tired I felt, these sights and sounds seemed to renew me.

In this moment of reflection, I began to muse over my current plans. Maybe I should alter a few things regarding my new role. Playing as an idiot savant, while fun, was always a challenge, not to mention the stakes were much higher this time around. I simply wasn’t sure if I could stay in character if things went awry. No, I shouldn’t limit myself to a role I can’t hold together. I had no idea how long I’d have to keep this up.

I would just be a bit of a brat, after all what teenager wasn’t? I would come across as a real pony, one with flaws. Like anyone else, certain things would set me off and trigger a rather emotional response. I had to make sure my role could handle both my reactions and that of itself. Heh, all animals have their own defense mechanisms after all...

Maybe given time, my role would come to represent a facet of myself? Still, any further reflection on this would be wasted as no plan survives contact with the enemy. I had to accept there would be some things I would have to change as I went along. Yet here I remained, why haven’t I entered the town yet?


Had I just been delaying the inevitable, by losing myself in my thoughts? No, well... that was not entirely true. I was nervous, and needed to calm my nerves. Reflecting on things had become…. Was conversing with myself how I faced my fears and loneliness? No, I really shouldn’t dwell on this any further, besides there was something else I could add to my disguise. I took a quick detour underneath the bridge. Heh, may as well hide some of my more noticeable features in a rather simplistic way. I always did enjoy sculpting albeit this was far from my normal approach.

Ugh, now that water was cold... Now, why was I so afraid to enter the town?... Asking myself that was pointless however, for I already knew the answer. What I once thought was fact had been fiction all along. I was but a very small fish in what was once my very own pond. Still, even the smallest of prey could fell the largest given the right situation.

Steeling myself, I took a deep breath, and gathered what courage I had. Accepting what needed to be done, I trotted back to the bridge and cantered across it. It was not long before I had already passed the town hall.

I imagine that the few glances I was met with at such a distance made me appear as one of the local foals off on an adventure or one getting in trouble as only a child could. My form was rather wet now and I was drenched in mud, with but a few patches of my white coat showing anymore. Hmm, wasn’t there some foal here that had a white coat bespeckled by brown in some places? Squeaky something or other? Eh it's of little importance either way. The ponies in the distance were busy and paid me no heed as they ventured off to face their own challenges of the day.

While I could seek out an adult now, I knew I could find a better location in which to ply my trade. I took my time in approaching the marketplace so as to limit the selection of who I’d have to interact with. The market was a rather lively location that should offer plenty of targets for my deceptions to prey upon. Or at least I hoped so, this thought calming the last of my nerves as I rounded the corner, passing Sugarcube Corner, and entering the marketplace proper.

Here I was met with the sight of nearly two dozen stalls, and at least thirty or so ponies surveying the various wares and produce being sold. Now who was here today? Oh yes, that one would be here, wouldn’t she! I had a hard time trying not to chuckle but succeeded as I approached a familiar and rather bored looking stall owner selling carrots. She had no customers at the moment and was distracted. Suppose it was time to see if my acting skills have held up well enough to get Sunny Delight taken into foal services. “Well here it goes...” I mused, manipulating an object with my ‘now’ golden magic.

Showtime!


Carrot Top’s day had started in the early morning like many of the other vendors. It was here that they furnished their own stalls in preparation for the morning rush. She knew well the challenges that laid ahead, the tedious trials everypony must face, and the sacrifices each would need to make if they wished to succeed.

She would not be found wanting in this event, no, she had seen to that. All this effort was for one goal, all so that one day she could finally usurp control over the market from her rival, one whose family had provided the very foundations from which birthed this town.

Applejack was a shrewd and honest pony, a truly worthy competitor in this twisted dance they faced every day. Yet, it seemed today was not the day Applejack would fall, for while it started off busy, her customers quickly purchased the carrots they needed and began to split off funneling through the other stalls with only a few stragglers and ponies originating from her other competitors.

Plebeians the lot of them, sure apples were delic… eh.. they were ok... and may have offered a health benefit or two, yet carrots offered so much more! Not only did they assist with afflictions of the heart like apples did, but they could improve your vision, even improve the quality of your coat, and most importantly of all they were easier on a mare’s figure, truly a gift from Celestia herself!

Yet, Carrot couldn’t help but sigh, it simply wasn’t in the cards. She knew that variety was the spice of life and as such could hardly hold it against them. For very long anyways....

Roughly fifteen minutes later, Carrot Top found herself facing one of the greatest challenges that everypony dealt with, boredom. Despite the efforts she put forth in her fantasies, she could not escape its grasp. As such she did what she could to keep herself busy, checking her carrots, updating her books, cleaning a few things, and last but not least, seeing if that dust bunny she had been protecting for the past month had grown. Huh, Mr. Flibbles wasn’t doing half bad.... Though it was kinda windy today so she did her best to act as a barrier.

In the mind numbing minutes that followed she lost herself in these tasks, until she heard a stomach rumbling in the direction of her stall. At last, an escape from the evil which plagued her! She found herself quickly rising from the paperwork which she had become enslaved by, taking a deep breath, put on a smile and…

“Good morning! Fresh carrots, two for only a… bit? ” She stated with a cheery expression which flipped into more of a question once she glanced down at the sight before her.

The ‘customer’ she was greeted with was a colt who was rather wet and covered in mud. The little unicorn didn’t look all that familiar either. Upon closer inspection she noted he had a white or greyish coat and a blonde mane, judging by the few areas that weren't covered in mud. Try as she might she couldn’t remember any other foals in the town with that color combination.

“Wow!” she giggled “Looks like you’ve had a rather fun morning," She exclaimed, remembering her own adventures as a rambunctious filly.

The little unicorn in question merely grimaced in response to the attention his rumbling stomach had gotten him as he wiped some drool from his lips. Why was he looking so nervous, she wondered? Carrot was confused, was this foal scared of her, or rather why would he be? Wanting to solve this mystery, she slowly left the comfort of her stall and approached him.

“You okay there, Shorty?” She questioned softly, not wishing to scare him off. She wondered if he’d perk up at attempt to pick on his height. Yet, this statement seemed to do little to lift the spirits of the filthy foal who was definitely afraid of something, as his ears tucked themselves in as he glanced nervously back and forth.

Carrot glanced across the market, noticing that most ponies were still going about their business, though it looked a few were becoming perplexed by the colt as well. Of this group she noted her friend Lily, who was approaching with an annoyed look. Feeling confused but confident in her backup, she grabbed a carrot, and returned her full attention to the little unicorn, who was looking even worse than before.

“Ah, c'mon don’t be like that! I won’t bite," she teased. “Want a carrot?” she said while playfully waving the carrot in his direction as she came to a halt only a few hooves away with a smile gracing her lips.

“Umm, ok,” that colt said happily, his tail was wagging in response to her offer. However, it seemed her gift distracted him from whatever else his magic was holding, leaving him with a look of despair as she heard something hit the ground.

Huh, well she could get that for him. Looking to the ground, she was met with an odd sight… He’s holding the carrot she gave him, so how did one get one on the other side of him…!? Looking back up, she saw the foal panic, as he quickly turned and galloped away with one of her carrots in tow.

“Wait, come back here you little thief!” Carrot found herself blurting out as she tried to catch up to him. The other nearby ponies took notice, but the scared foal was rather quick. He managed to effortlessly dash under and past her friend Lily who nervously squeaked during his escape.

The other vendors couldn’t leave their stalls and only a few others were able to join in their chase with it being as crowded as it was. Carrot in her rush managed to squeeze through an opening between Lily and a few other ponies and in doing so she playfully slapped Lily with her tail as she galloped by.

“Lils get your head out the clouds and get your fat flank moving!” she teased.

“WHAT!? My flank is anything but fat!” Lily hastily rebuked. Carrot could've sworn she could feel Lil’s blush from here when she heard a few ponies snicker. It sounded like her friend was catching up as they exited the marketplace. Huh, looks like Roseluck was chasing after the colt ahead of her, maybe this would be over sooner than she had thought.

“Is your hearing going bad too, Lils? I said flat, not fat," she teased while she slunk through a narrow corner and into an alley.

As Carrot sped up, she heard Lily squeal from behind, probably from having trouble getting through that narrow passage. Then a collision and some cursing. Shaking her head, she returned her focus back to catching that little unicorn.

“Lils stop being so bucking insecure about your figure, and focus on catching up to that colt,” Carrot was getting closer, the gap between the pair ahead was shrinking.

“You’re one to talk you… you...!” Lily squeaked. Carrot figured Lils was probably beet red at this point. The pair rounded yet another corner which lead to an open street with a few houses across the way.

“Work on your insults later, Lils,” Carrot grunted. “C'mon, stop running, squirt, you’re only making this worse!” she yelled.

The foal in question slowed for a moment, but it appeared it wasn’t to give up. No, he had just tipped over a garbage can in Roseluck’s general direction.

Carrot could only watch on in horror as her friend squealed in despair and tried to change course as the now open trash can engulfed her form. This ended with a very disgusting squelching noise.


She quickly dodged around Rose and resumed her chase, feeling guilty when she heard all kinds of muffled gagging and screaming start to fade into the background.

“Sorry sis!” Lily sputtered out behind her.

“Oh he's not getting away…” Carrot panted. It seemed the the colt had gained some distance through his dirty trick, “I have no clue who the parents are but they will hear about this!” she declared knowing her cause to be just.

“Please stop!” Lily yelled “We just want to talk!” her friend blurted out. Carrot could only shake her head at her friend's choice of words. The colt had to know full well that was a lie, if his now frantic galloping was anything to judge by. This was something that would end up with a foal being grounded for a serious length of time, if she had any say in it.

Thievery was not tolerated in Equestria, but especially not in Ponyville. Oh great… that little shit just dived under a fence, and was already back to galloping. In turn she prepared herself for what was to come.

“Buck!” Carrot loudly cursed, she had tried hard not to land in the flower bed, but still ended up trampling on…. Oh that colt would pay for this!

“My daisies!” came a rather familiar voice drenched in despair.

“Sorry, Daisy! I’ll explain later!” Lily managed to shout, sounding rather guilty. Carrot felt bad for her loss, but had to admit daisies were kind of a boring flower. Flavor was meh, and they were just as average in the look departments. She did like the smell of them though, but she couldn’t get lost in these thoughts now. After the rough landing, the duo quickly regained their balance as they galloped off towards the backyard only to find….

“OH COME ON!” exclaimed a rather irate Carrot Top.

She could only look on in annoyance as she saw the colt swiftly slide under the fence in the backyard. Which of course led into yet another alley. At least it looked like the little bugger was finally starting to tire. Carrot increased her pace, ready to bring this chase to an end. But, just as she was nearing the fence she stumbled. What would have been a mighty leap, turned into an elevated lunge, propelling her forward and snagging her right leg on the fence as she flipped over it.

Time seemed to freeze for her as she slowly started to invert in the air, the image greeting her was an upside down and very surprised Lily who had just lept and was rapidly approaching her.

“EEP!” her friend squeaked.

“Well shi...oompfh!" Carrot grunted in despair while she had the breath knocked out of her as the two tumbled over the fence. Both groaned in unison as they quickly untangled from one another.

“I’ll take right you go left, Lils,” She grumbled after she heard a noise coming from one of the two exits ahead.

Lily just nodded in response and looked like she was feeling some pain too. Despite this, both of them quickly galloped off towards their own respective destinations.

Upon hastily entering the alley, she thought she could hear muffled breathing before it stopped. If the colt was here, he was obviously trying to be quiet and chose to hide rather than continue fleeing. Well, not that he had much choice as this exit led towards a dead end if this was the way he went.

“I know you’re there!” Carrot stated as she caught her breath and looked around for hiding places. There weren’t many, just an overturned trash can and a few trash bags.

“C'mon out now, and you won't get in anymore trouble than you’re already in,” she said while drawing closer to the end of the alley. She was listening carefully for any noise that could give away his location.

Carrot couldn’t hear him and hoped she wasn't wrong in thinking he had hid here. The trash bags were still intact and there was nothing behind the overturned trash can, which was conveniently facing the wall...

“You’re in the trash can aren’t you, squirt?” Carrot said with glee as she swiftly turned it her way while tilting it upwards. For her valiant efforts she was rewarded with a very disgusted squeal.

“Aww c’mon, don’t look at me like that," she said as the colt glared daggers at her with some coffee grounds and a stray banana peel resting on his head.

“Pfft, hey you were the one that decided to hide in there!” Carrot teased. “Now c'mon, I’ll help you get out!” Carrot offered cheerfully, unable to find the sight of the thieving colt getting a first hoof lesson of why crime doesn’t pay to be anything but amusing. Yet, it appeared she was wrong in thinking this was over.

She couldn’t help but look on in terror when a large wad of soggy coffee grounds surrounded by a golden glow came flying at her. Thankfully, she had managed to close her eyes in time, yet she wished the same could be said of her mouth.…

“Oh, Celestia” Carrot gagged, “Why!?” she croaked out in disgust, only to feel the colt trying to push his way past her.

“Oh no you don’t, not again!” she declared while pulling him against her chest, her strength easily overpowering the struggling colt as they rolled over onto the ground.

“Lemme go!” The colt squeaked in a rather irate tone. One she might have found cute had she any remaining tastebuds left. He kept trying to slip out of her grasp but she kept his upper legs pinned against his chest while she held him again her chest. His struggles gradually became weaker as she spent at least a minute spitting out the coffee grounds and whatever else had filtered into them. Great, she was caked with that and the slightly damp mud now, too. This morning was just full of all kinds of suck.

“Now, why did you...." Carrot began to question in an annoyed tone as she relaxed her grip now that he had stopped struggling. This was obviously a mistake, for the colt sunk his teeth into her leg that held him and in turn redoubled his efforts to escape.

“Oww!... that hurt you little shit...." Carrot yelped as she quickly gave up on what little tact she had. She quickly pinned him down with her weight and restrained his head with her hooves in order to keep herself safe from his horn and mouth.

“Please don’t hurt me…” the colt feebly pled as he looked back at Carrot with a quivering lip and tears forming in his eyes.

“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you…” Carrot spoke in a quiet tone. She had been kinda rough with him… and couldn’t help but feel kind of guilty.

“You’re not?” The colt said while sniffling, looking back at her like an abused puppy. Something felt off as she gazed into his green eyes as they teared up…. but she wasn’t sure what it was. Something familiar….

“I’m not going to, but you should already know that by now, considering I didn’t pay you back for that bite,” she said in annoyance while grimacing. Her right leg was throbbing in pain. He certainly wasn’t holding back when he bit her. She wasn’t going to let her guard down again.

“I’m sorry…” he said while sniffling while he gazed at something behind her.

“You do reali…” Carrot began reply but quickly took notice of…. Buck, was his horn glowing!? The thieving colt had made a mistake, she wasn’t going to let him trick her again. She quickly rolled over with him which caused him to squeak in surprise. This interrupted his concentration and his magic rapidly sputtered out. For all her efforts she was greeted with the sound of something that fell behind her with a disgustingly wet squelch. Now safe, she had no interest in letting let him find something else to use against her so she quickly covered his eyes while pinning him as before.

“You’re hurting me” the colt yelped but there was no sniffling, nor were his eyes wet…. Oh... That little bucker.… She wasn’t even being all that rough this time.

Now while she may have never been that good with foals, she knew she was correct for once. This was all an act, something she was used to dealing with on a regular basis thanks to a certain white unicorn who was a serious drama llama. That little shit, she had given him the benefit of the doubt just because he was a foal….

“I’m sorry, Shorty," She declared, waiting for him to spring the trap.

“You are?” He said while resuming his fake sniffling while she let him push the hoof covering his eyes away.

“I am,” she nodded noticing him trying to look around her but she kept him facing her. “Because you’re full of shit!” Carrot teased in a cheerful tone.

“What!?” The colt snickered in bemusement for but a second, only for him to return to biting his lip while looking at her as if abused. But his false tears were no longer there.

“You might want to take some acting lessons, your fake tears are gone by the way,” she declared proudly, knowing that the years of dealing with haggling ponies had paid off.

“They are not!” the colt argued back defiantly, no longer brimming with false tears.

“Then where’d they go? Besides, you don’t seem to be all that upset anymore,” Carrot gloated.

The little imp could only pout in rebuttal, while glaring daggers at her. Carrot smirked as she reveled in her victory.

“So, how’d the coffee grounds taste?” The little shit teased with an equally twisted smirk.

At this moment, Carrot had developed a slight eye twitch, and she knew what had to be done. This little bucker was getting a noogie, and possibly a… no that wouldn't be.… yeah, it was a perfectly reasonable thing to do at this point she mused while giving him the noogie that he may not have needed, but it was certainly the one that he deserved. The universe’s answer for crimes left unpunished.


If only she knew…


“Stop that!” the colt squeaked in defiance. Carrot giggled, knowing it was finally time for the latter of those lessons. Had she not been so absorbed in the process of administering justice upon the Tartarus spawn, she may have heard the approaching hooves. Still she had more important matters to attend to, for while she was not good with foals, she was a veteran when it came to wet willies.


That the universe is neither fair nor is it just….


Lily was having a rather frustrating morning. It had started out well enough… but where had that little unicorn ran off to!? She had been desperately searching for him for some time now. While she didn’t like having to get others in trouble or lecture them, she knew this was something she couldn’t ignore. Stealing was simply wasn’t something he should be doing at any age and she would not allow a foal pick up such bad habits. Her desperation grew as she wondered where the parents were and if they were looking for him too? It only got worse while she went around asking other ponies if they had seen him, but nopony had...

Maybe, he didn't come this way? If that was the case, she was just wasting her time here. Carrot was probably still chasing him, or may have even caught him by now! With this thought, she cantered back towards the alley where they lost him.

While she drew closer to the alley, she heard some voices. It sounded like Carrot and a foal but there were also sounds of a struggle, Carrot had found him! This thought renewed Lily as she galloped around the corner only to find Carrot giving the little unicorn a noogie.

“Stop that!” the colt cried out in discomfort. Why was... was she going to? Oh, no, that sick, carrot obsessed mare would not succeed! That colt was not going to suffer from that slobbery hoof if she had a say!

“CARROT! What in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing to that poor colt!?” She yelled valiantly, charging towards the pair.


After all many crimes go unpunished….


The time of judgment was nigh, for the Tartarus spawn relaxed after the first of his trials had come to pass. Now was the time to redeem him. Carrot would see to this as her thoroughly lubricated hoof drew ever closer to the little imp’s left ear as he turned his head towards her. At last justice would be served!

“CARROT! What in Celestia’s name do you think you’re doing to that poor colt!” Lily squeaked angrily

“Wha?” Carrot could only question as she turned her head, and in doing so was met with a wall of fluffy pink impacting against her. Despite the surprise she managed to secure the little bugger when she was rolled onto her back against Lils who had tackled her.

“Gross! Why is your hoof all wet?!” yelped the colt who was now facing skyward and flailing his limbs in disgust against the slobbery hoof that held him tight.

“Lils, what in Tartarus are you doing? He’ll run away again! Let me go!” Carrot grunted as she managed to slip away from Lily’s weak grasp. The two separating and getting up as the colt… Oh no, he was pretending to sniffle with tears in his eyes again!

“You’re hurting him, Carrot! Give. Him. To. Me," Lily stated in what she probably thought was an authoritative voice, but it came out kinda shrilly and rather agitated, Carrot thought.

“Fine, just give me a sec,” Carrot said while glancing down at the little shit who was definitely embracing his inner Rarity again. “You promise not to run?” she questioned, only knowing full well how pointless it was after she said it.

“She was picking on me!” the colt cried out, looking at her friend like he was a kicked puppy.

“I did no su…” Carrot quickly uttered, before a pair pink limbs quickly removed the foal from her grasp. Carrot could only look in dismay as Lily snuggled the little imp underneath her chin and against her chest.

“Don’t worry I won't let that brute hurt you anymore," Lily gently spoke to the foal who was busy burying himself in her soft coat. Carrot was anything but that! Sure she was a little rough around the edges at times, but her friend was being deceived by what was probably the second coming of Discord himself!

“But he.. Bwuh?!” she was left speechless upon realizing that little bucker was smirking as he silently blew raspberries in her direction! All while using Lils as shield! She could only open and close her mouth again and again with a look of utter befuddlement.

“Carrot how could you do that to this poor colt? Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Lily questioned grumpily.

“But… I… he... he was the one that started it!” Carrot said with a powerful and stern voice. She certainly was not blushing or stammering under the ever growing smirk of that accursed colt. Nor did she feel despair from the rather scathing look Lils was giving her right now. Taking his earlier deceptions into consideration, Carrot made sure she was blocking the exit as she desperately looked for some way to turn the tables.

“He’s just a foal, you know as well as I do you can’t just pick on him like that!” Lily lectured, while the evil one made sniffling noises under the protection of his pink barrier.

Carrot was quickly losing grounds in this argument and she wasn't a bad pony! Most of the time anyways.… Her ears shrank down while Lils kept gently comforting the evil colt.

“But that doesn’t mean that we won’t be speaking to your parents about this," Lils told the colt who seemed to go completely rigid at mention of his parents. Heh, now the tables have turned, wait till she gets him to drop his mask so Lils could understand the full scope of his evil!

“Not so confident now, are you?” Carrot gloated which earned her a scathing glare from Lily. Carrot decided to focus on her new nemesis at this point, who had… wait... was he actually?

Wow, he actually looked like he actually felt guilty now. His expression.. Ugh, she kinda felt bad for him. Just a little, but at the same time he chose to do what he did and would have to face the consequences. Everypony makes mistakes, he just had to learn from this one.

“So why’d you try to steal from my friend Carrot Top?” Lils asked the colt who just started to quiver and began to cry for real this time.

“Shh, calm down, it’ll be alright” Lily said while nuzzling him and running a hoof down his side to comfort him. Yet, what happened left them in shock. His sides.. Why? Oh Tartarus.. how did she miss.. that.. All those chunks of mud… now lying around on the ground from where they wrestled… even now they were hiding his features to an extent…. Buck, how did he get that thin? That was anything but healthy....

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please…," The colt sobbed, while his stomach rumbled again. He… he looked so ashamed and was trying his hardest to bury himself in Lil’s now filthy pink coat. Any doubts Carrot had of this being an act, were completely gone at this point.

Yet... now that she thought about it, that colt… how he acted in the marketplace… it all... made sense. She couldn’t help but feel bad for picking on him. Buck… she had tried to… but he kinda deserved it a little, right?...

Her friend Lily looked like she was in just as much shock as she held the quivering colt close. It looked like her friend was slowly absorbing all the facts of what led up to this point if her growing depression was anything to go by.

“I would have helped if you had just asked,” Carrot pouted in a rather dismissed and quiet voice. Normally she’d have some very strong words for a thief, especially after what he did but... but she couldn’t hold it against him, even with the flavor that remained ever prominent in her mouth.

Lily didn't say anything, she just nuzzled the little unicorn whose face now truly resembled a kicked puppy. Why did today have to turn out like this?

“I’m sorry…” the colt sobbed, his ears were completely down at this point. Carrot found herself wishing he’d go back to being like he was before, even when he was being a little shit... at least he looked kinda happy then….

“Shh… it’s ok, we’re not mad,” Lily said while sniffling and holding him close.

Carrot wasn’t sure what she could do… She’d never had to deal with anything like this before. She couldn’t move nor could she look away. She just stood there, like a bucking idiot watching her friend comfort the poor colt as he sobbed uncontrollably.

Carrot couldn’t let this get any more depressing than it already was. She decided to postpone most of the questions she had for the foal. At this point she was worried what answer she’d get if she asked about his family or what led to his current state… Still, she’d have some choice words for the family, this level of neglect was criminal.

All that shit could come later, for now… maybe some food would cheer him up. Though not too much, she read somewhere that a pony could get sick if they ate too much when they haven’t been eating regularly.

Either way, in order to clear the mood, she had to make a gamble. She might come across as a jerk but even in that case she hoped it would help dissolve this gloomy atmosphere. The colt did seem to get a kick out of cursing.

“C'mon you little shit, stop looking so down,” she said while playfully booping him on the nose. The colt sniffling as his nose scrunched in response and he grew slightly cross eyed. But he had stopped sobbing she noted. Lils on the other hand looked more than appalled “Want to get something to eat? It’ll be my treat, and you can choose," she declared happily, noticing his slowly changing mood.

“Carrot!” Lily yelped. “You... you…!” she stuttered but kept fumbling over her words. She was obviously upset with her colorful language but it seemed have the desired effect. The little unicorn’s sniffling began to fade away and in its place came the occasional giggle. He was still looking like Tartarus, but was improving. She ruffled his mane playfully and earned a small snort in return.

“Carrot! You can’t use that kind of language in front of a foal, no less referring to him by it!” Lils stated in what had to be shock.

“You’re kind of uptight, aren't you?” the colt teased while wiping away the last of his tears and sniffling a little. “Besides I’ve heard worse," he said while snickering at Lil’s reaction.

“Wha ...?” Lils sputtered out in surprise as she glanced down at the colt who was smirking now.

“Heh, if you think this is bad, you should see how she reacts when you say buck!” Carrot exclaimed happily. Her actions earned another chuckle.

“Buh," Lils declared, it looks like she had completely lost it. Her mouth kept opening and closing again and again, but no sound came out.

“So what are you feeling hungry for short round?” Carrot playfully teased yet immediately tensed up once she realized what she had just said.

“Carrot, I’m not short nor round, and my name is Sunny,” the colt declared in a fairly amused yet mildly agitated voice.

Lils just looked even more petrified as she glanced back and forth at the pair in despair. Carrot felt kinda… buck... Why did she say round of all the damned things that could have entered her mind? Did her subconscious hate her or something?

“Though I’d love to get a cheeseburger, some fries, and a strawberry shake…” The colt said with a pause and a rumble of his stomach. “Umm… could we get that, please?” he questioned. Heh, the colt’s tail was wagging and he was drooling as his stomach rumbled in a much deeper tone than before. Apparently, her faux something or whatever Rares had called it had been ignored. She certainly wasn’t going to argue with that.

“Sure, it’ll take about fifteen minutes to get there," Carrot said happily, basking in her success of reversing the shitty mood that was there before. Hmm, was kinda odd that he didn’t mention any specifics with those besides the shake. Eh, Sunny probably just preferred the basic hay burger with cheese and hay fries.

“Hey, Carrot. Think we broke Lils?” the colt questioned as he poked and prodded at his pink protector, which after the third poke caused Lily to jolt and squeak in surprise.

“What!?” Lils squeaked. “Oh… but umm…” she mumbled while looking nervous. Heh, guess she’d gotten absorbed in listening to the conversation.

“I don’t think either of you’ll be able to go into the restaurant as messy as you are," she stated factually while the colts smile began to wither... What the buck, Lils?

“But that doesn’t mean you couldn’t. Catch!” Carrot said as she ‘gently’ tossed her coin purse from her saddlebags to Lily.

“Eeep!” Lily squeaked while fumbling with the coin purse initially until it was gently held in a golden aura. Lily just blushed at her fumbling and nuzzled the colt in thanks while storing the coin purse in her saddlebags.

“That's true… a cheeseburger, fries, and strawberry shake right?” She asked.

“Yup!” The colt replied cheerfully.

“Alright I’ll get those soon, but you two still need to clean up, where do you want to meet up at?” her friend questioned. Carrot glanced down at the colt who looked rather entertained as he watched the two of them through his fluffy pink barrier.

“Huh…," Carrot pondered on this, she knew that the events of today would require a visit to the foal services in town. Her home was farther away than the town hall. Besides, she couldn’t just take somepony’s foal home with her to get cleaned up, she wasn’t that irresponsible. Well, most of the time… Hmm, there was the stream that ran through the town but that would be rather cold so that was a no go too. On that note, she couldn’t help but wonder where he picked up all that mud. Eh, she could ponder on all that later.

“Guess we’ll have to stop by the town hall, it's not too far away," she said with a pause. “We’ll get cleaned up there and then enjoy some food. Sound good, Sunny?” she questioned, trusting him not to run away this time.

“Yeah, that sounds good!” the foal squeaked in a happy tone as he abandoned the pink sanctuary, approaching Carrot only to stumble for a moment but he recovered quickly.

“You ok, Sunny?” Carrot asked while ruffling his mane and making sure he wasn’t going to fall over.

“Yeah... was just kinda dizzy there for a moment. Kinda cold too," Sunny said with a slight shiver. “Plus… I don’t really want to walk around like this...." he said while pointing out his thin sides that the mud was still doing a remarkable job of hiding what few ribs were showing. Ugh… Gotta quit forgetting about that….

“Sunny wait here with Lils, I’ll be back in just a sec," Carrot said. The pair just nodded in response, though Lils was looking rather depressed again. She didn't want to risk the mood dropping in her absence. So she quickly dashed back out of the alley and approached Daisy’s backyard. Thankfully, Daisy was not around at this time. She didn’t really want to get anypony else involved in this if she could, as Sunny seemed rather embarrassed about it....

As she glanced at the clothesline that hung over the fence she figured it’d be fine to borrow a towel. So with little fanfare she grabbed a black towel with her mouth and flipped it onto her back. That should offer him… what privacy he wanted. Buck, today was full of all kinds of suck… Actually, why couldn't she improve it? There was no reason she couldn’t try her hardest to make sure Sunny was happy and given the care he deserved. With this thought in mind, it didn’t take her long to get back to her friends. Heh, it seems the two were just relaxing in the sun while Sunny leaned against Lils who was nuzzling him.

“Ehr you go Sunny," Carrot said while tossing the black towel over his back. Sunny took a few moments to adjust it before he looked comfortable. He still looked rather filthy but it did hide.…

“Thanks, Carrot!” Sunny chirped while nuzzling her.

“Pfft” Carrot snorted. “No problem," she declared happily while ruffling his dirty mane earning a happy yet irritated squeak and slight push in return. “See you in a few then, Lils?” she questioned. Ugh, cleaning up would take a while, for the both of them. They both reeked of those foul smelling coffee grounds and whatever else was in that garbage. Something that would be far better left off unknown.

“Sure, but before you two go I have a question for Sunny," Lily said while looking nervously at the colt. Carrot and the colt looked back with interest. Carrot was hoping both she and Lily could keep up a strong front until this all got resolved. So why was she looking at him like that… she wasn't going to?

“Sunny, can you tell me where your parehmpf!” she started to say before Carrot’s disgusting hoof invaded her friends mouth.

“Pfffttt” Lily spat out something. “Oh sweet Celestia, that's disgusting, why would you do that!?” she asked in disgust while trying to spit out anything that remained from that horrible encounter. The colt seemed to find this situation hilarious thankfully, and just giggled at the scene. Carrot would not let him fall into a funk again.

“You always told me to think more before blurting out whatever comes to mind, I was just returning the flavor,” Carrot said while snickering at her choice of words. Sunny just groaned in what she imagined was disgust at her pun. Eh, some ponies.… Still, she gave Lils scathing glare with a shake of her head. Huh, she's burning red and looked like she got it. Good enough for now.

Lils would just have to be careful what she said around him unless she wanted to get her just desserts again. Carrot could only shiver now that her focus returned to the foul yet ever persisting taste in her mouth. She wasn’t really sure if she could ever appreciate coffee in the same way ever again.

“C'mon Sunny, let’s go get cleaned up,” Carrot said as she lightly bumped the giggling foal, earning a happy smile from the bemused colt for her efforts.

“Kay, see ya Lils!” the colt blurted out happily waving goodbye to her. Carrot waited patiently until Sunny was trotting alongside her. She was happy to say that he looked rather content now.

About half way there, Carrot was feeling rather upbeat when she glanced over to her little buddy. Heh, looked like he was distracted by a butterfly that had landed on his nose. The sight didn’t last long as he sneezed causing the butterfly to leave and search for a safer refuge. She also noted that the ponies nearby seemed to want to keep their distance. Carrot couldn’t really blame them as the duo were caked in filth, and probably didn’t smell much better.

Though, now that she had some time to think about it, she didn’t feel quite as guilty as she did before. Sure, she may have been a little rough at times, but he didn’t leave her much of a choice. Some of his actions felt playful, even when Sunny had teased her in front of Lils. But she was rather curious about what made Sunny tick. Did he pretend to be sad in order to distract others? No… well, maybe it could be. Carrot wasn’t sure if she was overthinking this. Still, she wanted to sate her curiosity, the only question was how to safely ask the question. No… maybe she could move on to something else. She didn’t really want to say anything that could upset him.

“Hey Sunny, I was wondering... ” Carrot started to say, but found herself at a loss for words. Getting no response, she glanced over and saw that Sunny was still following her. Heh, looked as if he was lost in thought but… his expression was wilting and tears were forming in his eyes. She wouldn’t let this continue, so she decided to do what came naturally to her by ruffling his dirty mane.

“Stop that!” he snickered while still sounding somewhat depressed. But his mood seemed to improving as he glanced up at her with what she assumed was curiosity and mild annoyance.

“Heh, you looked rather deep in thought. Can’t say it’s something I expected to see out of you,” Carrot teased playfully. She’d do her best to keep his mind off whatever it was that was bothering him.

“Says the one who was staring off into space at her stall this morning," Sunny swiftly replied in turn looking rather smug.

“I was not!” She exclaimed in surprise, not expecting him to tease back like that.

“You spent at least four minutes staring at the same page with such a glazed over look I found myself wanting to bet if your head would hit the book before your drool did!” he teased, leaving Carrot to only grumble in response. She couldn’t … have been drooling could she? She did get bored at times, but to do something like that so early…. Had the other stall owners… noticed as well? Nope! Nothing good will come of this train of thought. The question was how she could escape from this...

“Pfft” Sunny snorted while he gave her a slight push.

“Huh…. what's up, Sunny?” she asked nervously when realizing she had zoned out there.

“You looked like you were deep in thought. That’s a side I never expected to see out of you!” Sunny playfully mocked her. Oh that little shit… guess she walked into that one. She couldn’t help but find herself giggling at the change of pace.

Still, she was losing, so she did the only decent thing she could do. Carrot took the ‘high road’ and it was definitely not out of cowardice. No, she would be the mature one, and would try and change the subject.

“You teasing me in front of Lils was payback for tilting the garbage can with you in it, wasn’t it?” Carrot nervously said, hoping it worked.

“Nope!” he said proudly. YES, wait, it wasn’t?

“That payback came when I decided to share the coffee grounds you so generously shared with me!” The colt said in a cheerful but ever snarky manner. Maybe she shouldn’t have changed the subject… Still he was enjoying this, so she could just go with it.

“Besides the brochure said Equestria is supposed to be the land of love and harmony and all that crap, so sharing is caring, right?” Sunny chirped happily while snickering. While Carrot was mildly miffed at his thoughts regarding Equestria. She was far more interested in the last thing he said. Could that have meant he wasn’t from around here?

“So,” Carrot started to say but was interrupted by Sunny.

“Besides you’re cute when annoyed, you make this face like you’re angrily chewing on peanut butter,” the colt taunted while imitating a face that there is no way in Tartarus she would ever make!

“I made no such face!” Carrot replied with vigor and confidence only to…. Oh Celestia… she didn’t grind her teeth… like that, did she? Either way, she made sure to maintain what she hoped was a neutral mask, though she couldn’t stop her left eye from twitching.... She never… made a face like that, right?

The colt snorted, “That one isn’t half bad either!” while giggling. She could only blush and cringe as she heard some not nearly quiet enough laughter nearby. It sounded like it was coming from above, yet when she looked up, she saw nothing but clouds.

“Gahh…” Carrot groaned in frustration while trying to fight her ever growing blush. “Stop that, you’re only doing that to tease me!” Carrot pouted, feeling only slightly perturbed at losing in this battle of snark. Heh, it seemed the little bugger had some fangs.

“Of course I’m only doing it to tease you! Besides, it wouldn’t be fair if Lily suffered alone, would it? You seem to thrive on teasing her," Sunny said smugly.

“I don’t pick on Lils!” Carrot said grumpily without thinking only to find the colt was giving her a rather condescending smirk. As much as she hated to admit, it was rather hard to deny just how easy a target Lils was.

“Fine… I do sometimes…" she grumbled, “But I don’t like being called cute," she pouted in defeat. She always hated being called that, it always made her feel like a foal. Sure she wasn’t all that mature or even a ‘proper’ lady yet she was anything but weak. She was a strong independent mare and that word always came off as demeaning for some reason….

“Why?” The colt questioned in surprise, “You’ve got a great smile, a beautiful coat, and a well styled mane and tail," The colt declared in a confused but very honest tone.

“I…. uhhh…” She mumbled while hoping she was anything but beet red at this point. Sunny was merely looking at her with the same curiosity as before.

“Thanks...." She said with a smile. Heh, that was embarrassing. She hadn’t really expected such an honest answer like that. Especially from a young colt no less as most foals still found the opposite sex gross around his age. Still, even as awkward as it was, she found it to be a nice complement. Heh, Sunny may be a bit of a brat at times, but he wasn't so bad.

“Oh how could I forget that...." Sunny said while facehoofing, looking slightly annoyed with himself.

“What’d you forget?” Carrot asked, wondering what he could have forgotten.

“Your flanks, they’re like an onion” He said coyly. “They’re so juicy they make me want to cry!” he teased while making a sniffling sound.

“Buh…” Carrot said in the most eloquent of ways… as her consciousness returned from whatever void it was residing in. SHE. WAS. NOT. BLUSHING. Oh sweet Celestia no, who had heard that? She desperately glanced around only to notice the sounds of the strangely familiar laughter were coming from above in the clouds — yet she still couldn’t see anypony.

“Seriously though, they’re great, I bet I could bounce a bit off them!” Sunny declared while smiling at her. How the buck could he look so innocent and still be able to say something like that!?

“You can’t be saying things like that to a mare!” She declared in a stern and not so squeaky voice. She hasn’t been this embarrassed since….

“Sorry... was just teasing...." he said with a quiet and guilty sounding voice while pouting in what she prayed was defeat as his gaze fell to the ground.

Carrot was glad that he stopped there as she finally had a moment to calm down and think. The mare couldn’t help but dread whoever had overheard them earlier. That laughing… oh please don’t let it be who she thought it was…. Still, She’d never have guessed Sunny could be such a little perv. Heh, flanks like an onion… Pfft... How in Tartarus did that little shit come up with that? She’d have to remember that one for later.

“That's ok, I was just surprised,” She said in relief while ruffling his mane. Her efforts had earned her yet another irate squeak when her hoof was pushed away.

“Still…” Carrot mumbled while thinking of the right thing to say. “You should be more careful about what you say, if it was any other mare you could have gotten slapped for that Sunny," she lectured. Though, to be honest Carrot was rather impressed Sunny had managed to turn the tables on her like that. He might be a little shit but he was crafty at times. Could just be she was getting rusty. Maybe? Rares and Lils did make for rather easy targets after all…. Nah probably not, though it wouldn’t hurt to look for some new targets in the future.

Yet, now that she had time to think about it… some of the things he said certainly left more questions that had to be answered later at foal services. Something she hoped she was horribly wrong about….

“Thanks for being understanding about it...." Sunny said while giving her a hug, one she couldn’t help but reciprocate as he was snuggling against her rather dirty coat. Ugh… this little bugger… well she could hardly hold it against him… She felt rather sullen over the situation Sunny was in. Life may not always be fair… but she’d do her best to reverse that in his case. She heard a whooshing sound fading off into the distance, glancing up she found nopony once again...

“But… was what I said really that wrong?” he questioned nervously, looking to her with honest curiosity.

“Umm…” Carrot was going to be careful in choosing her words this time. She may be many things but her mother didn’t raise no foal.

“What exactly do you mean Sunny?” She questioned nervously...

“Well… I know that what I said was kinda crass but I meant them as a compliment," he said while shuffling his hooves and looking embarrassed. “Don’t mares like to be teased like that sometimes?” he questioned while blushing and looking to her for answers she was anything but prepared to give….

“Umm…” Carrot mumbled feeling awkward, “Sometimes, but you really have to be careful about what you say, not to mention you shouldn’t say anything like that to somepony you just met. Not everypony will take it the same way," she answered honestly, hoping he learned something from this.

“So does... pfft,” he snickered, “that mean you’ll teach me the right things to say to a mare?” Sunny questioned while obviously trying not to laugh. Something he was failing miserably at.

Carrot couldn’t help but snicker in response. She should have known better. Ugghh.... Maybe a noogie would succeed where words had failed her.

“You’re far too young to be acting like that, now repent imp!” Carrot giggled while giving the colt a noogie as the pair came to a stop. The colt squealed in despair as he tried to break her grip.

She could only hope she was never this bad as a filly. Then again… This wasn’t karma, was it? She shuddered, lost in thought. The colt seeing her weakening grip slipped out of it and….

“Oh I see how it is," he spoke as if offended. “A foal like me couldn’t possibly appreciate what flowers bloom beneath the gentle curves of a mare’s flanpffttts," Sunny said in a deceptively innocent yet rather dramatic tone while wagging his tail until the foulest of hooves invaded the sanctity of his mouth. The colt in question could only gag as he tried to spit out the repulsive taste.


Yet it appears this crime did not go unpunished….


“Gross! That's what it bucking tastes like!?” he squealed in pure and utter revulsion while spitting out as much of the offensive substance as he could.

“I didn’t have a bar of soap on hoof so I went with the next best thing," Carrot declared cheerfully when removing her hoof, with the knowledge that justice had been done. Glancing in the colt’s direction she could see he was smacking his lips in disgust and looking at her with eyes that promised unholy vengeance.

“Sunny...." Carrot mumbled while face hoofing, “How would you even know about that at your age?” Carrot questioned while rubbing her temple. But quickly regretted blurting that out. She was wrong, she did not take to heart the lecture Lily gave her on saying things without thinking. This was a conversation she did not need to have nor was she ready for.

Worst of all, not only did she ask a question which opened her up to further teasing if the past few conversations were anything to judge by.… But, most of all, she was afraid of the answer she could get. Please, please don’t let it be anything horrible.

“Health class and some magazines?” Sunny answered looking rather perplexed. Though he was still grimacing as he rotated his tongue around in his mouth, and spitting from time to time.

“Buh?” Carrot exclaimed in a very eloquent manner once again.

“I’m twelve, Carrot. I was taught about all that stuff in a boring class two years ago," Sunny stated while remaining unreadable to her for once.…

“But they don’t teach that stuff until you’re at least fourteen!?” Carrot yelped, only to stop upon realizing it. “You’re not from Equestria are you?” she questioned before she realized what she had just asked. Why was her subconscious such a glutton for punishment?

“Nah,” Sunny stated sounding somewhat depressed and looking rather lost in thought.

Carrot was rather perturbed with herself. She definitely didn’t want to question him on this any further, but how did he get here? That could come later, focus on distractions for now.

“C’mon then,” Carrot said while playfully shoving him, earning yet another squeak in return. “I don’t know about you but I’d do just about anything to get rid of this taste in my mouth," Carrot declared with grimace, as she spat out what was hopefully the last of those coffee grounds. She started to trot ahead but didn’t hear her little buddy following.

Turning her head and glancing downwards, she saw that his smile brightened immediately and he was chuckling about something while shaking his head?

“Hey, what’s so funny?” Carrot questioned in bemusement as she poked him a few times as he continued to chuckle.

“Ppfft…” he snorted, “Phrasing!” he giggled while looking at her with an ever growing smirk...?

“What? I didn’t say anything weird, I just said I wanted to…" She said before facehoofing with a deep sigh.... “Oh Celestia, just banish me to Tartarus now. This little perv will be the end of me...” she thought with a chuckle.

“You aren’t making all these mistakes on purpose, are you Carrot?” Sunny said cheerfully while continuing to snicker.

Carrot found herself zoning out…. Perhaps she could get away with giving him the wet willey after all…?

“Hey Carrot?” Sunny said in a rather soft tone.

“What’s up?” She asked while glancing at the colt, wondering if he was feeling down again.

“Thanks for putting up with all my crap” he softly said. “I know I can be a bit of a jerk at times but thanks for looking out for me," Sunny said with a shaky voice as he sniffled a little.

She snorted, “I’m not mad at you Sunny,” Carrot responded, “If anything I’ll give you credit for just how full of shit you are,” she giggled while ruffling his mane.

“Stop that!” Sunny squeaked adorably as he pushed away the hoof ruffling his mane. Carrot was rather bemused so she got close enough to whisper in his ear and….

“Say, want to help me pick on Lils and an overly dramatic fashionista sometime?” Carrot whispered playfully, hoping he’d jump at the chance at giving her some new material to work with.

“Sure,” he agreed. “Friends?” The colt said while reaching out with his hoof.

“Friends," Carrot snickered as she gave him a hoof shake. He really wasn’t too bad at heart, maybe a bit of a little perv… Ok he was definitely a perv…. Still, she was just happy that she could help him, but really didn’t want to dwell on how this had all happened....

“But I gotta say today wasn’t half bad, I think I learned something important," Sunny declared with pride.

“Oh, what's that?” Carrot asked in shock, he seemed rather serious for once.

“I’m far too young to be flirting with a mare of your venerable years,” he declared sagely with a nod.

“I’m glad you...." Carrot started to say with pride before she felt like she wanted to die of embarrassment. “Hey, you little shit, don’t make me out to be some old granny!” Carrot yelped out in growing frustration, knowing full well what she had done to deserve this...

“Aww, there there,” Sunny said while patting her shoulder, “If that's the case, it just means I’ll have to wait a few years till I can convince you to make a stallion out of me!” Sunny said with the most shit eating grin she had ever seen.

“Oh Celestia, you’re nothing but pure evil, aren’t you?” Carrot said in a defeated tone while chuckling. She definitely did not squeak, nor was she trying to hide her growing blush and shame at falling for what she now saw as an obvious ploy.

“Eh,” Sunny replied, shaking his hoof back and forth, “A little column A, a little column B,” he happily stated.

“Pfft,” Carrot snorted, “You’re alright sometimes, you know that, Sunny?” Carrot stated while booping him on the nose, causing his face to scrunch up while he went cross eyed in a rather cute fashion.

In return for this action, she was met with an irate squeal and him trying but failing to bite the leg that had just assaulted his snout. Carrot found it impossible to not giggle at Sunny’s failed attempt as the duo trotted onwards. It was surprisingly peaceful for a time. Carrot found herself relaxing and enjoying a mostly quiet walk with her little buddy in tow.

Yet, it seemed they were drawing closer to the town hall now. Now, the real question was how would she explain or even approach this.… Lost in her thoughts, she rounded the corner of a building only to crash and topple over into somepony as her vision was obscured by a very soft and fluffy wall of white that let out a rather whiny squeal.

A short trip to the ground later Carrot found herself quickly recovering, thankful that she hadn’t fallen on Sunny. “Still not out of the woods yet though,” she thought in desperation as she glanced around to make sure he hadn’t been hurt until…. “Huh, guess he had hopped out of the way in time,” she mentally noted. Wait, why was he looking at her while snickering?

“Oww,” Carrot yelped in shock, a hoof had just hit her side, followed by more hits and sompony struggling to get away from her. “Stop flailing around and I’ll get off of you!” she grunted in annoyance as the other pony only struggled more, the muffled squeals growing ever more shrill. The only other sound to greet her was Sunny laughing....

Carrot got rather sick of the other pony and tried to get up but the other pony’s legs just wouldn’t stop flailing around her. Growing frustrated she rolled over facing the pony and tried to push away only to….

“Yo, Rares,” Carrot snickered as she withdrew her now wet hoof. “Pffft…” Carrot snorted... “You... alright?” she questioned in a very bemused and shaky voice letting out only the occasional snicker.

Oh Celestia, if only she had a camera right now. This was priceless, no it was more than that, it was truly a rarity. A master piece for the ages. The way in which her friends face was…. was contorting…. the absolute disgust and terror as the fashionista glared daggers at the offending substance on her once clean snout and coat as her mouth opened and closed.…

Still, she imagined Rarity would probably be more than livid right now if that white puff ball wasn’t trying so hard to spit out whatever else Carrot’s hoof had picked up on the journey to the town hall.

This could only mean that…’IT. WAS.THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING to probably happen to her friend in the past few hours… maybe even less... Still, she knew now that Rarity was completely wrong in knowing what her cutie mark meant. She had somehow managed to turn this turd of a day into a sparkling gem, if Sunny and his constant snickering was anything to go by.

“Ah, c’mon Rares it's not that bad!” Carrot exclaimed with a chuckle as she noticed Rares had almost fainted upon seeing just how much filth had been spread across her coat.

“You…. you.. I”LL GET YOU FOR THIS YOU CARROT OBSESSEpffftt!” Rarity shrieked in the most painfully shrill tone she had ever heard as something dashed in front of her….

“No, she's mine you can’t have her!” Sunny valiantly declared with a dramatic flair as he... he… oh, Celestia and here she thought this couldn’t possibly get any better! No, this was definitely ‘the best possible thing’! Rarity’s eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets as she turned her gaze down at the invading hoof stuck in… pfft. … Wait… was she!?

“Umm… oops?” Sunny giggled nervously in worry as he withdrew his hoof from her friend whose eyes had glazed over as they rolled into the back of her head.

“Rares!” Carrot yelped while catching her now limp friend before she fell… The only response given from the fashionista was a slight line of foamy drool coming out of her mouth and the gentle rise of her chest. Pfft…. Of course she had fainted from that.

“Is she going to be okay?” Sunny nervously questioned with genuine concern.

“Yeah, she’ll be fine," Carrot said offhoofedly. “To be honest, this is kinda normal for her," Carrot said with a chuckle as she glanced around, noticing nopony was nearby to help with reviving her fallen friend. She’d do it but…. well she didn't want to be around when Rarity woke up.

“She's weird," Sunny stated in bemusement. Carrot figured Rares drooling probably wasn’t helping matters.

“Yup, but we’re all weird in our ways, otherwise it’d be kinda boring, wouldn’t it?” Carrot questioned in the defense of her now comatose friend.

“Hey, stop being all philosophical about it, you’re spoiling my fun!” Sunny pouted grumpily.

“Okay then," She said with a smile. “You’re calling Rares weird? This coming from the little perv that watched me stare at my books for who knows how long?” she questioned with a smirk.

“It was only four minutes or so!” Sunny squeaked in embarrassment.

“Oh and I suppose that makes it better, my little stalker?” Carrot said while chuckling at the change of pace. She wouldn’t underestimate that imp again, colt or not.

“But… I… wasn’t…” the colt said while blushing and struggling with words for a change. Something Carrot would have to thank Celestia for later. “You suck...." he grumbled with a pout as he kicked a pebble.

“Aww, there there,” Carrot said in a comforting tone while patting his shoulder, causing the colt to snort while he glared daggers at her. “You can’t win ‘em all, Sunny, now let's go get cleaned up, the town hall is just over there,” Carrot said cheerfully as she pointed out the building that was just across the square from where they were.

“What about her?” Sunny questioned while pointing at her friend.

“Oh I’ll send for somepony to help her when we get inside, I don’t think either of us will want to be around her when she comes to," Carrot said with a nervous chuckle.

“Heh, guess you got a point, okay lead on oh wise one,” Sunny stated in a mocking tone with slight bemusement. Carrot just snorted and lightly pushed him earning a squeak and a glare in return as they trotted towards their destination.

Carrot couldn’t help but let her mind wander over the events of this morning that had led up to this point. She kinda hated herself for thinking it, but she had a lot fun hanging out with the little bugger despite all of what happened to him…. She just wished there was something more she could do for Sunny. Nopony should ever have to go hungry like that…. Was… was it possible he could suffer any permanent damage from it? She hoped not, but wondered just how long it would take to nurse him back to health.

Would the foal services have any problems with her checking up on him? Sunny kinda looked rather lonely at times, so she really hoped they wouldn’t. Suddenly she felt a tug at her leg which freed Carrot from her rather depressing thoughts.

“Oh we’re already here…” Carrot stated in saddened tone as she gazed up at the pink double doors where she’d have to explain the events of today. Well, Lils should catch up shortly, so she’d have some extra support.

“You ok, Carrot?” Sunny said while nuzzling her.

“Pfft” the mare snorted while glancing down at the colt who was comforting her. That was her job... “I’m good, let’s head in and get cleaned up,” Carrot said happily as she returned the nuzzle. Taking a moment to collect herself, she took a deep breath and pushed the doors open leaving behind a rather filthy imprint on both it and floor as the duo trotted inside.

Carrot was sure the cleaning mare would adore them for what they were about to track inside. Oh well, every job had its quirks, she mused as she heard a mare shriek in what could only be despair.

C'est la vie.


One would imagine Ponyville’s marketplace would have quickly gone back to its normal state after six brave ponies sacrificed themselves for the greater good. And they would be partially correct. For only three of the valiant party were able to make it out in time. The other members of the party however… those poor souls, they were trapped. They had been foolhardy, each one seeking to outdo the other. Many say that haste makes waste. Something that would certainly apply to this situation considering the circumstances.…

Freeing the three tortured souls from their prison was anything but simple, and was only possible thanks to a rather generous application of butter. Butter the all spice, the all tasteful, and that which governed the breakfast table. It was in this noble concoction that they found freedom when their fellow ponies pulled them from the narrow alley that they had jammed themselves into. Wherever the other three went nopony knew, yet the crisis had passed. It was peaceful for a time. But alas, this was Ponyville, and what would appear tranquil was truly nothing more than the calm before the storm.

That was when tragedy struck, for an ill wind blew into town. Oh if only, if only somepony had seen fit to notice. Maybe something could have been done. But it was far too late for this poor soul.… His doom was sealed the moment his ever vigilant zompony ventured off, leaving him defenseless.

That was when that wind struck and it struck without mercy. Poor Mr. Flibbles was eviscerated and scattered to the four winds. Only one mare would mourn his loss, yet there could be no funeral for there was nothing left of the once proud dust bunny. What sick and twisted creature would allow such a world as this one to exist?

RIP

Mr. Flibbles

1032 AF - 1032 AF


Meanwhile….


The sound of her trademark golden horseshoes gently clopping along the white marble heralded the coming of Princess Celestia. Ponies bowed down left and right to their ruler, as she passed with measured steps through the ancient halls of Canterlot Castle.

Her ever colorful mane swayed in an invisible breeze and on her muzzle was a well-practiced smile, gained through the many trials and tribulations she faced over the years. The Princess was disciplined, offering a benevolent and caring presence to her subjects.

At last, she had reached the great mahogany doors bearing her mark. A pair of guards standing watch at the doorway shuffled to the sides upon the approach of their Princess, their heads inclined in a respectful manner, the princess merely smiling at them in return as the heavy doors opened. With grace, the regal Princess crossed the threshold and when the doors closed she was finally alone….

Her smile dropped and she sighed. Unceremoniously she tossed her crown onto a nearby table, and plopped down a on a sofa in the middle of the room spreading herself across it in a very unlady like manner. At last, she could find relief.

“Mmm... thats better,” she quietly moaned as she sunk into the luxurious sofa, while massaging her temples and sore neck with her magic.

Dealing with the issues of ruling this land was trying enough, yet during breakfast, Luna… Why… Why, did her sister insist that it had been their… Father, who was moving everything behind the scenes. First it had been about Discord, then Luna tried arguing about her time as Nightmare Moon — yet again. Luna believed that he had saved her from Discord’s twisted magic, but that was hardly the case… in a way he was indirectly... Celestia grimaced, she had tried so hard to forget him, to move on from his neglect.

The so called ‘evidence’ Luna presented in the argument was laughable really, yet while she poked holes in the logic of it, she remained as diplomatic as possible... Luna had made herself out as a bigger monster than she had been when she was Nightmare Moon. She literally believed there would have been a massacre, if she had been left unsupervised that night.

Celestia was no fool, sure, some of the events could be explained by their father’s meddling. However, many things could be explained by the meddling of an omnipotent being if one had just enough faith. Life was a fickle thing and many inexplicable events came to pass with no rhyme or reason. She looked for the signs, and there were none.

And worst of all her sister had underestimated the role Celestia played… She was the one that had set the events upon the stage, not the father that had abandoned them… It hurt... Did her sister even know what she did to her by bringing up that human again and again? Of course not... for her sister... for her ponies she needed to be strong. She didn’t have the luxury to openly show her feelings. She always did this, she didn't have to, but she....

Regardless, it was through gentle pushes that the Princess of the Sun had orchestrated her sister’s return. Twilight…. While she still believed her manipulations to be necessary… she still hoped that Twilight could find it in her heart to forgive her…. should she ever learn the true extent of her meddling… then again would that wonderful lavender unicorn even view her actions as wrong… even she believed the Princess of the Sun to be perfect... And Twilight Sparkle had been her personal student for most of her life, being the closest thing she had to family besides her sister now.

But how was she really different from him? Using a loved one to achieve her goals? These questions tortured her more and more as the years came to pass. For she had become a lot like her father, as much as she tried to deny it. The way in which she approached challenges, and reached her goals were mostly done through subtle manipulation and cunning. She offered little regard for the interests of those that opposed her.

While she regretted these choices, she could hardly fault the results nor the efficiency at which she could solve the problems plaguing her lands. But she would not be like her father, it was after all, for the greater good.

It had been so easy to judge him based on deeds alone, but now.... She wasn't so sure anymore, after more than a thousand years had come to pass, everything just started to fade from good triumphing over evil to just different sides fighting over an argument. Black and white gradually gave way to a rather murky grey. But, to forgive him for his actions with such thoughts. She knew she couldn’t, there was no way in which she could justify the many crimes he was guilty of nor did she want to.

In any event, that farce of a father was not involved, of that Celestia was certain. If he had taken part in freeing Luna, there would be clues left behind. He wasn’t the only one that could work behind the scenes.

If anything, he was proof that none could be perfect. He didn’t even try to protect Luna from the tainted artifacts Discord left behind. He admitted that he could have destroyed them so Luna would never have found them, yet he left things as they were. Oh how Celestia loathed him that day, the vitriol she spewed forth… that.. that was the last she had seen of him….

Why did Luna insist upon the pipe dream of a family reunion when it.... it just wasn't going to happen. She could not find it in her heart to correct Luna on some of the misconceptions regarding their… creator.

While Luna may have found Discords journal, Luna did not open it. She was worried it could have been a trap. Something, Celestia had agreed with, but after checking it for twisted magics and the like. She found nothing, and Luna was already asleep. Curiosity overtook her, she wanted to know what was inside and took what she had felt at the time had been necessary precautions. So, once she felt safe, she read while her sister slept, as she delved deeper into the book, she snapped. She figured there would little but drivel in this book or perhaps some clue to just how Discord was able to bend the world to his will. What she got instead was...

The filth that was spread across some of these pages was beyond twisted, a hideous lie that she could not allow to exist… So she destroyed them, Luna wouldn’t be subjected to such deceit, but she couldn’t destroy them all for her sister wanted to see it as well. She knew them to be false, or at least she thought she did at that time. Yet as the years rolled by... they took turns constantly searching for something, anything they could find to prove the remaining accusations false.

While she hated to admit it… She could not help but find truth in Discord’s writings given proper time to find… The things she knew... but her sister didn’t. Why had he… that thing… no, Discord was his true family. Luna would not know, both of them have suffered enough from his neglect.

Her father was a hypocrite and a coward, of that she had no doubt. His so called righteousness was merely an illusion he passed on to his daughters... to deal with his wayward son. No, he was the one that brought disorder and decay to this realm, and all for what… was it truly for progress? Was it for some twisted form of entertainment? What was it that really made him do this...?

She doubted she would ever know. So much was lost through time. Her time as a ruler wasn’t spotless either… Still, she didn't enjoy the actions she had to take. He and Discord on the other hoof, were truly kindred spirits, the only difference being one had a more subtle touch and wouldn’t share his ‘toys’ with the other.

Still what remained of the journal eventually shattered their image of him. She wouldn't allow Luna to know the full scope of his betrayals… No, Luna had faced enough tribulations when… Sombra... yet another noble soul fell to Discord’s twisted games, or rather their Father’s endless schemes and neglect. She wouldn’t let him harm Luna again if he was even still… Try as she might, she could not stop the tears from forming in her eyes....

“Why did you do this to us…. Were we even family to you…. Did you ever love us? Was it because of me? Is that why you left?” she begged, looking to the ceiling for the answers she knew weren't there.

And as always, she was only greeted with silence. She took in a deep shuddering breath...

“No, you never did, we were just tools you cast aside once we failed in our purpose of freeing your son from his madness. We were something you left behind to clean up your mess, something to protect the world in your absence...." she vehemently spat towards the ceiling, feeling a mixture of anger and despair.

Celestia knew there would be no answer. Still...

She had so many questions left unanswered… their father, Prometheus. Was he even still out there? If not, had he left for another world, was this world even the first one he created? Was he watching? Could this world survive without him? Was he still alive? She didn’t know, the only other thing she could gather from those ramblings was that he may have truly cared for his creations in his own twisted way, so why wouldn’t he look after his daughters as well? Was she making a mistake in her judgment of him?...

No... he was gone and nothing would come of brooding further on this subject. Nothing would change. Dwelling on this was a mistake, she mused, as she pulled a rather decadent looking chocolate cake towards her with her magic. Her mood gradually flashed from depressed to that of a foal in a candy shop, still the corners of said shop were rather gloomy.

She spent enough time on matters long since passed, she still had time to redeem this day. The only question was, how would Luna react to moonpies? Still, her sister had seemed rather interested in that falling star from the night prior. Eh, all in due time she mused while sloppily gorging herself upon cake.

Author's Note:

AN, DeepThought:

You can thank Lord of Hentai for this chapter. Without him it would have been a couple of weeks more...

AN, The Magical Hobo:

I can't promise this chapter is 100% error free due to my internet/computer being out of whack for several days, but I did my best to fix any major errors, and if anyone finds any please PM them to me or DeepThought.
And don’t get used to this pace of updates, if my whip has anything to say about it they’ll be even faster. ;)
- The Guy Who Has To Do Almost Nothing (Editor) The Magic Hobo

AN, Lord of Hentai:

I forgot to update my hentai this week, for a Sad panda is I nauw. Also halp, philosophical fapping and raging brainers won’t stawp!
Sincerely,
Lord of Hentai
Your resident sploogefest of a mindscape.
PS.
Poetry is ghetto philosphical fapping, also it tis EVIL! Fie on thee mein Hobo and Menses senpai, a pox on your households both!