• Member Since 1st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Thursday


Engineer, Brony, Aspiring Author. Not necessarily in that order.


Big Mac doesn’t say much. That’s just his way. However, when a routine medical exam reveals he’s going to lose his voice, he decides he’d better get his last round of speaking in while he still can. Saying a few last words to his friends (and asking out a certain schoolteacher) is all he planned on doing. If only he understood the full repercussions of opening his big mouth.

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Reading by DRWolf: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

The original version of the story took 12th place in The Writeoff Association's July contest, "A Matter of Perspective"

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 156 )

Hm... that's interesting, introducing the dramatic irony fairly early on, rather than letting it be a last-minute twist.

I think I really like "Mac needs to talk more" stories, and so far this seems like it's shaping up pretty nicely.

He's not going to go mute is he? :rainbowkiss:

Kind of weird that you're giving away the twist so early.

Unless it's NOT actually a twist and you're double twisting everyone :trollestia:

:ajbemused: Big Mac, you're not going mute.

:eeyup: "Oh good."

:ajbemused: Yer pregnant.

Bafflements everywhere! Seriously though, I got to laugh so I'm favoring this and will be reading more as it comes along!

I'm sensing a legendary... DOUBLE TWIST :twistnerd::twistnerd:
so which will it be? Wedding or misdiagnosis?

Good to see this got polished up from the Writeoffs! Congratulations on joining my own Writeoff competitor in the non-mature Featurebox. :twilightsmile:


Congratulations on joining my own Writeoff competitor in the non-mature Featurebox

Whelp, if you can't beat 'em… :trollestia:

It was a pleasant surprise to come home this evening and find this in the 'box

That was a great, well-written start to what I hope to be an excellent story.

Or could it be... a combo-combo? :pinkiehappy:

Good story! :raritystarry: I love it!

This is one of the best stories I've ever read! Have a like and a favorite, sir or madame!

Wait. Stop. Hold it. Let me see if I understand this: you mean to say this story DIDN'T win the contest?!

So, it's either a wedding or a medical misdiagnosis...

But since you gave it away so early, I'm not sure which one it is...

F!@#. :twilightoops:

He shivered. “You mean talk, right?”

Letting the sweetest natured of Applejack's friends scare you. I don't think he's ready for the others.

Uh... Is there supposed to be more than one chapter? Cause I can only see one.

EDIT: Ok, now there's two.

Ooh! Give me more! MORE!

Liking this so far. Hope the third chapter is just as great and heart-twisting.

OH C'MON!!! Big mac be a man and talk too her! Super excited too see more :pinkiehappy:

Aaaaaaaaaaand there goes that bravado. :facehoof:

Come on, dude, ask her out! Even if I find your misfortune funny, I still think you need to man up.

And maybe get a little something while you're at it, if you know what I mean? :trollestia:

This needs so much more love than it's getting.

Interesting premise. Will read later. By the way, congratulations on the feature :twilightsmile:

The big dope. "Miss Cheerilee, I really like you." Not that hard.

Well, from what I can tell of AJ's running around, he isn't going to lose his voice. I kinda... Idk. I thought it'd be a bit more dire if he really did lose his voice. Ah well. It's a nice enough story so far. Guess I'll follow you.

I want to be angry at Mac, I really do
But I feel a strange combination of sadness and pity for him

You forgot to type please.

Probably like the rest of us to forget too... OKAY EVERYONE! TYPE PLEASE!

Dear Blazing Inferno,
Please write more when you have the chance. Thank you!

.....Well Mac, you just crashed and burned...Bravo

Isn't it "Hoof-in-Mouth Disease?" Because it's a pun for having your foot in your mouth? That's why you can get it by fighting.

rocking his legs back and forth

2 spaces between legs and back

“We have some very well trained counselors who can help you through this.


“So, what can I help you with?” She asked.

decapitalize she

unless cupcake chewing counted.


Fav'ed. This is good stuff -

The only thing is, I hope that, when you pop the misdiagnosis balloon, you let Mac get out of it with his dignity at least partially intact...

“Unless the back leg itch distracted me from a third tail twitch! That’d mean a medical misdiagnosis!” She giggled and shook her head. “But what are the chances of that?”

Dialogue like this makes me hate Pinkie, and she's one of my favorite characters! :twilightangry2:

Looks like Big Mac don't got big balls.

6337438 Or will it be a wedding balloon?:trixieshiftright::duck:
Yeah, probably not.

some of these beauties in the mean time, though.


Fillies and Colts whizzed by


but that didn’t mean it he didn’t think highly of it

remove "it"

6337491 Suggests a rather lewd question:

Will he get out of this with his virginity intact? (Sorry, but you went there first with the "wedding balloon" remark... :rainbowwild:)

6334595 I'm crossing my fingers for both.:rainbowkiss:

Why is that? Just curious. I find Pinkie rather hard to write properly

Suspense yay.:yay:


Isn't spike rather young? Unless its a dragon thing and hes effectively a teenager? I duno why big mac would put a word in for him to rarity.
Just seems odd.

Also looks like Big Mac choked pretty hard on talking to Cheerilee. Shame, I was looking forward to what he was going to say.

6337616 I have no idea how you went from wedding balloon to virginities.
I award you with one moustache for that.:moustache:


Actually I'm pretty sure that Mac actually has conversations with Spike. Only about sports of course, but still conversations.

6338298 Confucius Says:
Virginity Like Balloon. One Prick, All Gone.

Talk about cutting your losses with Twilight. :twilightsheepish:

Finding out he'll go mute. It's terrible.


6338734 So...you pop the virginity balloon...and you pop the virginity cherry...
Did bronies just prove that balloons and cherries are the same thing?:pinkiegasp:

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