• Member Since 30th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 20th, 2018


What are you doing wasting time reading a bio? Go read good stories. Isn't that what you're here for?


The Apple family farm is in trouble. It was once underwater, but Discord fixed that. Now it’s underwater with a horrible, evil, greedy creature: a bank. Big Mac has only one day to get the bits together. After overhearing the flower mares talk about him, he gets an idea. It’s the oldest profession in the world, so how hard could it be?

All he has to do is keep quiet while he conducts business. So long as the customers are happy, and the bits are flowing, it’s all worth it. It’s just his reputation, self-esteem, health, and dignity on the line. It’s just a roll in the hay— it doesn’t mean anything…


Featured on EQD! (7/16/14)

Edited by: Level Dasher
Cover Art by: Anonymoose

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 193 )

Are you sticking to background ponies?
Because they need the most love!


I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but... I don't think you'll be disappointed.

Um what's the male version of whore?

4412170 Gigolo. Here's a link, if you'd like the Village People explaining it in detail.

I feel so guilty, because normally this isn't the sort of fic I'd follow, but dang, I am so tempted. It looks as though it's going to be funny. One tiny thing--the "one week ago" header is usually pretty awkward. You already said that he'd overheard the conversation a week ago, so you could just remove it, and I think everyone would understand it's supposed to be a flashback.

. . . oh, what the heck. I'll follow it. If it gets too much, I'll just skim or something. I can't help but wonder if some stallions are going to turn up eventually. I like the tiny nod to Cheerilee, too.


I can't help but wonder if some stallions are going to turn up eventually.


I'd still read it :raritywink:

Also, great start Shah, can't wait to see where you go with this one.

Edit: Also, who did the cover art for this story? I bet he is handsome and sexy and an all around great guy. :rainbowkiss:

4412311 What do you mean, "still" read it? :raritywink:

A pony can but hope. And pop corn in anticipation.


I almost put the comedy tag on it, but that isn't the focus of the story, so I decided against it.

I don't know what sort of stories you normally follow, but the only tags missing on this story are character tags. I didn't want to give anything away before they appeared. The genre tags (or lack of tags) are pretty accurate IMHO.

4412567 Oh, I just have a squeaky-clean rep. Sorta. But dangit, I couldn't resist.

Interesting, interesting. I'll be watching this story.:rainbowdetermined2: But I hope the story will not contain the gay scene in the following chapters, right?:unsuresweetie:


I don't want to give anything away, but... Lets just say I don't think you'll have a problem with the story.

4413154 Wheres the fun in mares just being like "hey lets bang" "uhhh" "Money" "fine"
I want Flash Sentry to walk in there, drop fifty bits in, and waggle his eyebrows. Than Big Mac will run out screaming "I NEED AN ADULT!!!"
I want Fluttershy to think misinterpret the sign.


Indeed, misinterpretation is a dangerous thing. So much can go so wrong...

4413628 And then Big Mac comes on to her what and Fluttershy's like
"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK!?!? Ig you'll pardon my language.
Nevermind I think I'll like this.

In my opinion all these gay jokes just garbage.:eeyup: Interracial jokes much better and don't annoy anyone. Like this one:
and this:

No homo, man.:ajbemused: I really do not understand why you thought about Spike instead Chrysalis:rainbowderp:, but whatever.
What about this cutie girl ?:heart:

4414247 I'm... Not sure...
Ether way, forced prostitution jokes aren't complete without a healthy combination of both homo and interraciality.

When I saw dignity in the description it made this kind of hard to read cause im all about dignity..........still read it though las vegas style

I see bon bon..... thats totally legitimate reason

Have they ever considering adoption?

This was great. The first part was exceptionally sweet, and then that twist!

I was trying to look for a Doctor Who GIF that said WHAT but I couldn't.
I got something EVEN BETTER!

Well, this wasn't what I was expecting.
It was better!

And just like that, Bon Bon summoned the incantation that will drive away any sentient male ever.

Well...that...that was...:rainbowlaugh:

I have no idea how to comment on this, in a good way mind you. That last bit caught me off guard. I mean I did kinda expect it, but at the same time I didn't. I guess I just let my guard down after the first part of this. For now I'll just watch this for now, I won't fav it just yet, and see where it goes from here. Though I will give it a thumbs up. :pinkiesmile:

That was... something... that happened... in time...

Dodged a bullet there Mac?

Dodge one bullet several more to avoid.

Phew! Close call! For a sec there, I thought Ponyville might have turkey basters.

I think that you should have fleet foot be in a future chapter. If you read the comics you'll understand


I haven't read the comics yet. It's on my to do list.

This story is already finished, I just don't post the chapters all at once. So the question is: "have I included Fleetfoot already?" My answer?

Keep reading and find out! :scootangel:

4447664 You can see them on Youtube, and when you're done with the regular comics I'd recommend seeing the microscope series of comics, but skip the first 2 they aren't very good (the microscope series)

Roseluck took in a deep breath and sighed deeply. “And now you’re mine, all mine…”

Danger! Danger Will Robinson, Danger!

E tu, Mayor Mare?

We all know Mayor Mare is kinky for Big Mac.

Every single one of these chapters ends with an amazing twist that makes me drop my face in my hands and shriek, "oh, gosh, no!"

And yet it's surprisingly sweet.


Originally each chapter was going to end once that character left the scene, but I figured it would be more exciting to break it right after starting the next scene. It doesn't surprise or engage me, of course, because I know what's coming next, but I didn't write this for me. I wrote it for YOU!:yay:

Wanna know what happens next? I'm thinking... Wednesday evening.:ajsmug:

4452332 It IS more exciting that way!


Fuzzy cuffs. Go real or go home! :raritywink:

In all seriousness, that thing with roseluck was sweet, and great to know I am not the only one who thinks mayor mare is a closet freak :rainbowlaugh:

Still no Big Mac getting creeped out by a gay? Or completely misinterpreting someone? :ajbemused:

Okay then - I guess you get those votes any way you can.

How will you get out of this one Mac?

Mrs. Cake stepped into the barn and marched up to him. “My marriage is over. I hate my husband, and YOU are going to help me get revenge!” She dumped fifty bits into his jar, while Big Mac just stared at her, mouth agape. “I brought a camera; I want to be ready in one minute.” She began to set up the tripod and camera. “Get ready, because I want you to do every dirty thing to me that you can think of

....Well-pah. That happened.

I think I wet myself with laughter over Mayor Mare's safeword.

I really should not be reading this at work! :raritywink:

No one is safe from Gerrymandering:trollestia:

Coming to a theater near you! Big Mac stars in...
Deuce Bigalo: Ponyville Gigolo :trollestia:

Anywho, I actually like that the chapters are short and episodic. You are doing very well so far and I can't wait to see how it goes from here. Keep up the good work. I'll be watching :pinkiecrazy: Oh, and I think that the pills were a nice touch. Reminded me of my pharmacy days.

Counsel her Mac not molesting.

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