This story takes place during Season 5 of the show.

Out of everypony in Equestria, few have a life as mundane as Guy Pony, a window-washing earth pony with no dreams or aspirations whatsoever. Among his job, his friends, and his life alone, Guy's only area of notable interest lies with the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her five friends.

Inspired by their heroics in saving Equestria time and time again, Guy eventually decides to take a break from his mundane life and have some fun for once. What better way to do that than by introducing himself as a villain and antagonizing Twilight and Co. to no end?

Turns out, there are a lot of better ways than that, especially when he has little to no knowledge of what being a villain actually entails. But, well, that's what he's going with.

After the debacle of the Storm King's short-lived invasion and the fall of Canterlot, the former attacker, Fizzlepop Berrytwist (Commander Tempest Shadow), muses that the princesses' ability to fight was sorely lacking. Considering that she pretty much took them all down in seconds.

In order to prevent such an abysmal display in the future she has, through a few contacts around Princess Twilight, recruited the aid of a combat master who should be able to teach four princesses avoid such embarrassments in the future...

...Or kill them trying.

Cadance thought it would be a normal quiet day, that is until Anon, the most evil villain Equestria has ever seen, stumbles in her throne room.

---

Now with a sequel: The After Days

This story is a sequel to No Nose Knows

It is recommended you read No Nose Knows first but it's not absolutely required.

Baked Bean was just a regular citizen of Equestria until one fateful day when he accidentally booped Princess Celestia's nose with his own and then found he was forced to marry her to fulfil the terms of an ancient law. Miraculously, Love has blossomed between the princess and the pauper, and the new Prince of Equestria is now looking forward to taking his place at the side of the Princess of the Sun.

But Baked Bean is still very much a novice in the realms of government and nobility, and he's in for quite the crash course between old foes, snobby ministers, and his own shortcomings...

But at least Luna tolerates him now.

~*~
As seen on Equestria Daily!

Proofread and Preread once again by Georg, Moon Fire, Zen and Ponies, and Sipioc!

And with much thanks to You-Know-Who for the cover art!

Tempest Shadow is called in for a meeting with the Storm King. However, the topic is not at all one she's remotely prepared to discuss.

Thanks to Nova Quill and Tired Old Man for their edits and suggestions!

Baked Bean is but one of the thousands of tourists in Canterlot, and he's looking for some inspiration to help launch his writing career. To this end, he pays a visit to the Royal Gardens, but while there he quickly and quite accidentally invokes a long-forgotten law that will completely upend his life and thrust him into the spotlight...

As Celestia's husband.

And all this because of noses.

As seen on Equestria Daily!

With an audio reading by Fire Hearth Studios!

Cover art graciously provided by the Right Most Awesome Backlash91!
Original cover art provided the Right Most Awesome Sipioc!

Proofreading and prereading services provided by Georg, Sipioc, and Moon Fire!

Fan Art for this story can be found right here!

A most worthy review by Cyonix!

The Tasty Treat becomes a successful restaurant, despite not having the three-hoof rating that makes all the restaurants in Restaurant Row successful. The Queen of Cuisine, Zesty Gourmand, will not let this stand without criticism.

Unfortunately for her, somepony else will not let her flawed method of critiquing restaurants go unpunished. And he's not holding back anything. No way in Hell, especially in his own kitchen.

Spoilers for Season 6 Episode 12

Random Oneshot Idea that just popped in my head.

Contains vulgar language and verbal bashing (Judging from the cover art, you can tell why).

After the Changelings got flung out of Canterlot, one of them brought a Guardspony with them. When they crash into a deep cave, both of them end up crippled and unable to leave the cave and all they have is eachother to count on for survival.

Edited by the fantastic mikesnipe
Preread by the equally fantastic shynight

Upped the rating and added "Sex" tag because of language in the later chapters.

Featured on 2015/10/25. Thank you guys!

Most of the year, Written Script enjoys his job as town treasurer--but not when tax time rolls around, and everypony thinks they're paying too much. Then he becomes the most disliked stallion in all of Ponyville.

Now with an audio reading by TheCaptainSand (CaptainBron3y)
Now with a reading by AShadowOfCygnus!

General Grievous, Supreme Commander of the Separatist Droid Army, conqueror of star systems, and slayer of Jedi. And... stranded on Equestria?

This can't end well.

TV Tropes page.

Now featuring a dramatic reading by LimeyPony!