Guy dashed into the nearest alleyway he could find, knowing it was probably futile trying to run from an Alicorn Princess. This proved to be correct, as Twilight poofed into existence directly in front of him.
"GAH!" Guy said, skidding to a halt and running in the opposite direction, to no avail. Twilight simply teleported into his way a second time.
"AGH!" Guy stopped again, and this time ran out of the alleyway, into the streets. To his dismay, Twilight appeared in front of him a third time. He didn't bother running away again.
"Oh, come on!" he said, sliding on the dirt momentarily before fully stopping. "That is not fair! I can't teleport like you!"
"There's nowhere else to run, Pony Guy! Or whatever your real name is!" Twilight had her horn lowered, seemingly ready to do anything to keep him from escaping. "You might as well give up now!"
Guy found himself at a loss on how to reply. How was he supposed to introduce himself all villain-like now? He'd screwed up his pranks a good few times already, and on top of that, there was no way he could possibly escape this situation unharmed. He was kinda screwed, as far as he could tell.
I guess I'll just have to wing it. "Uh... Pony Guy?" Guy said, rubbing the back of his neck in an exaggerated fashion. "I don't know anypony by that name. Are you sure you don't have me confused with anypony else?"
"Of course not!" said Twilight. "You're the only one in town who wears a red cape! Or even a cape at all!"
"Wearing a cape is hardly a crime, is it?" Guy was kinda reaching for straws at this point. "Doesn't explain why you've been chasing me around all day."
"Don't play dumb! We all know you broke into my house and rearranged my books!"
"Broke in? You're Princess Twilight, right? I thought you ran a library."
"It's still my house! Not only that, but you burned down Applejack's barn, stole Pinkie Pie's frosting, tried to frame Rarity and Sweetie Belle for it, trashed Fluttershy's house, and force-fed carrots to her pet!"
"Woah, woah!" said Guy, stepping back a bit. "Slow down there, jeez! First off- Wait, did you say force-fed?"
"Yes!"
What in the world? "Listen, I didn't do a thing to that psychotic little lagomorph! That thing nearly killed me! Did you see the knives stuck in the walls all over the place?!"
Twilight's horn grew brighter. "Likely story!"
"No, that's absolutely not likely at all! Exactly the opposite, in fact!" Guy, despite technically being truthful in this specific subject, didn't seem to be convincing Twilight. She was struggling a bit with having her horn primed, and he could see a few sparks shooting out of it. He was gonna have to settle this fast.
Guy let out an exaggerated sigh. "Okay, look, Twilight, I surrender, okay?"
Twilight raised her head. "Wait, you do?"
"Yeah, I do. So, uh, could you stop pointing your horn at me?" Guy was saying pretty much anything that came to mind at this point, and he wasn't too impressed with himself for the route he was taking. "Look, I think we've gotten off on the wrong hoof here. Why don't we all just calm down and talk this through like civilized ponies?
"You want to talk? Really?"
Guy had no real intention of doing so, but he'd ran out of ideas by this point - which is rather impressive, considering he didn't start with any in the first place. "Yeah, sure. I've got no hope of escaping from you. If we all just sit down and talk about this, I'm sure we can clear up any misunderstandings we've got between us."
Twilight discharged her horn and adopted a surprised look on her face. "Well, I guess so. Honestly, I expected to have to restrain you myself. But if you're gonna come peacefully, that makes things easier."
"Great!" Guy said, "Let's go find your friends, then." He was amazed his attempt at appealing to the civil side of Twilight actually worked, but the fact remained that he absolutely did not want to meet up with the rest of the Elements. He had absolutely no idea how he was gonna supposedly "talk things out". He needed to get out of there, but how was he going to do that with Twilight watching him like a hawk?
Guy needed to keep his act up, though, and as such, he followed Twilight into the middle of the street - but he stopped himself as he heard a noise that, given his location, was fairly unusual. Is that a train whistle? "Hey, uh, Twilight, did you hear that?"
Twilight, who hadn't taken her eyes off him while they walked, stopped and turned around. "No, what?"
"I swear, I hear-" Just as Guy said this, he looked off to the right, which revealed to him the most shocking sight he'd seen in years.
There was a train driving right through the streets of Ponyville.
Guy took a few steps back. "Holy cow! Twilight, look out! The train!"
"What?!" said Twilight, having absolutely none of that. "You think I'm going to fall for-" But she cut herself off too, as the train's whistle sounded again, much louder this time. She looked to the side and screamed as she jumped back, the train narrowly missing her, and more importantly, running right between her and Guy.
Guy, despite being overcome with a mixture of awe and confusion at what he was seeing, quickly came back to his senses and realized the opportunity this gave him. He ran back into the alley and dashed into the nearest building he could find.
Twilight, on the other hand, took a little longer to get over her confusion, but she eventually remembered what she was there for. She took off from the ground and flew over the train, landing on the other side, but it was too late - Guy was nowhere to be seen.
Twilight turned back around to see the train disappear into the distance. "You have got to be kidding me!" She kicked the dirt in frustration, and looked around, desperately hoping she'd see Guy running off somewhere, but to no avail. As much as she wanted to express her confusion at what just happened, she didn't have the time for it. She let out an agitated groan and ran back into the alleys, trying to figure out where he might've gone.
Guy slammed the door behind him and leaned against it, hyperventilating as he sunk to the floor. Instinctively, he ran around for something to bar the door with, and in this occasion, that object ended up being a chair, which he leaned against it under the knob. Alright, Guy thought, regaining his bearings. That's... not gonna stop Twilight at all. Crap.
He decided, however, that he had more important things to worry about. Like where he was, for instance. He had, after all, just ran into a random building. For all he knew, he could be in someone's house. However, as he looked around the place, he realized he'd found himself in a bar - a rather run-down looking one, for that matter. The place was completely devoid of any ponies aside from Guy himself, which wasn't much of a surprise, as it didn't look like a very reputable place to get drinks.
That wasn't important to Guy, though, because he'd just successfully escaped from the Princess of Friendship herself. That, he thought, was something to be proud of. Probably his biggest villain accomplishment yet. "Hah!" Guy exclaimed, and then he immediately covered his mouth in regret. Wait, don't make noise, idiot!
After peeking out the windows to see if Twilight was nearby, Guy figured he should probably look around the place. Maybe get a drink or two for himself. He was pretty thirsty. Besides, villains didn't pay for drinks, now did they? Guy walked behind the counter, grabbed a mug, and perused the various selections available on draft.
Some cider sounds pretty good right about now, Guy thought, and he placed the mug under the nozzle, but he stopped himself. Wait. I'm alone here. This gives me the opportunity to do something I've been wanting to do for years!
Guy removed the mug and took its place with his wide-open mouth, as he gleefully grabbed the handle and pulled, releasing a powerful stream of foamy cider. He released it, satisfied with his full mouth's worth of the stuff, but his glee was short-lived as he realized something was off about this particular cider.
Mainly, that being that it tasted absolutely awful.
"MMF!" Guy put his hoof into his mouth, desperately looking for a place he could spit it out. He frantically located a sink and bent over it, releasing the foul-tasting juice from his taste buds. "Ugh!" he said, wiping his mouth. "That sucked! What is in that stuff?!" Guy walked back to the counter and examined the handle that had produced the hellish liquid, and he noticed some fine print he hadn't seen before.
"Produced by... Flim Flam Enterprises," Guy read aloud. "Well, I know what brand to avoid in the future." He walked back out from the counter and sat at a table. "At least nopony saw that, I guess."
Contrary to what he'd just said, though, Guy heard a faint laugh. "On the contrary, my dear Pony Guy."
"What the-?!" Guy jumped off his chair and looked around. "Who's there?!"
"Well, now, that's the million-bit question, isn't it?" The voice reverberated off the walls.
Guy kept looking around the bar, but he couldn't figure out where the voice originated. It was as if it was coming from everywhere at once. "L-Listen, if you're the owner of this place, I swear I haven't stolen any drinks or anything. Innocent until proven guilty!"
"It seems I was right," the voice said, now clearly sounding to Guy like it was located behind him. "You are a bad liar."
Guy leapt forward and turned around, now face to face with the source of the voice - and it was to his immense surprise that he found himself standing face to face with a draconequis. Of course, not just any draconequis, but rather, one that he was all too familiar with.
"What the heck?!" Guy said. He rubbed his eyes for a moment. "D-Discord?!"
"Oh, my reputation precedes me!" Discord said, hovering in the air over Guy.
"Well, yeah!" Guy said, unsure whether he should've been glad to see him or not. "I'm... sort of a fan of yours, I guess I could say." Guy realized how bad that might sound, and quickly added onto it: "Though, not, like, the spreading chaos everywhere part. Just your whole 'mischievous prankster' shtick you have going on."
Discord lowered himself to the ground. "That's certainly interesting to hear. Truth be told, I wasn't aware I had fans. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, however, given your recent actions."
Guy, despite managing to keep his cool for now, was still internally recovering from his surprise. He'd had heard Discord was reformed and all, but he didn't expect to come face-to-face with him in Ponyville of all places. "M-My recent actions? Which ones?"
Discord snapped his fingers, and with a flash of light, Guy found his forehooves in cuffs. Discord, meanwhile, had adopted the attire of a policepony.
"What the-?!" Guy looked down at his hooves and fruitlessly tried to remove them. "Oh, come on!"
Discord ignored his exclamations and began walking around Guy. "Let's see, here... Does 'arson' ring a bell? Or perhaps 'home invasion'?" He pushed his face up close to Guy's. "How about 'Vandalism'? Or 'Animal Cruelty'?"
"Yeah, yeah, okay!" Guy said, looking up at the ceiling. "Look, I've already had my crimes listed out to me. I don't need to hear them again. Besides, most of them weren't even my fault."
"Weren't they?" Discord brought a stool over and sat down. "Pray tell, whose fault were they, then?"
"Well, the arson was an accident, for one thing."
"Oh, I'm not all too concerned about that," Discord said. "I hear Applejack's barn gets destroyed quite routinely. Truth be told, my mind mostly rests on those last two charges. Tell me, what gave you the urge to target Fluttershy, of all ponies? Do you also kick puppies in your spare time?"
"What?! No!" Guy said. He could feel the cuffs somehow tightening on his legs. "Listen, that rabbit - What was his name? Angel? - he caused as much damage as I did! That thing is vicious! He would not hold back!"
"Do you mean to tell me you lost a fight to a six inch-tall rabbit?"
"He threw knives at me! It wasn't a fair matchup!"
"And what of the carrots?"
"What, the force-feeding thing? I don't know what that white devil told you guys, but it's not true! I've done a good few bad things these past couple days, but animal cruelty is not on that list."
"Hm. Is that so?" Discord looked at him rather intently for a moment, his eyes narrowed slightly in what seemed to be deep thought. After some rather uncomfortable time passed, he finally got off his stool and laughed. "Oh, ho-ho-ho! I believe I have you figured out already," he said.
"Figured out?"
Discord snapped his fingers, and a newspaper materialized in his claw. "Does this look familiar?"
"Oh, great. So you've been in my motel room, then."
"Oh, not just me," Discord said, putting his hands up defensively. "Twilight and her friends have all done a thorough investigation, though they didn't find much. That is, until Twilight found you, as I'm sure you're aware."
"Yeah," Guy said, frowning. "At least I escaped, thanks to that train." He tried to muster a smirk. "Y'know, I had no idea trains ran through the streets in Ponyville."
Discord laughed again and tossed the newspaper aside. "Oh, they don't. I simply wanted to distract Twilight so I could get a one-on-one chat with you."
"Wait, what?" Guy's eyes widened. "You mean you nearly hit us with a train just so you could confront me alone?!"
"Oh, nonsense," Discord said, sitting back on his stool. "It was an illusion, nothing more. Magic's useful for that kind of thing, you know."
"Oh." Guy looked down at the floor. "Okay, so why, then? What's so interesting about me? I'm just an earth pony with a very boring name."
"Is 'Pony Guy' really your name?"
"It's close enough."
"Well," Discord said, leaning back. "Truth be told, from the beginning of this little fiasco, I had a bit of unspoken approval for what you were trying to do. Not so much the execution, but a good prank is always something I can appreciate. That is what you were going for, right? Pranks?"
"Yes!" Guy threw his hooves out in front of himself. "Thank you! You're the first one today to not come to the conclusion that I'm some kinda barn-burning animal-abusing sociopath."
"Well," said Discord, "That was something I'd considered. It was the same conclusion everyone else arrived to, after all. That's why we're having this conversation. So I can discern whether they're right or not."
"They're not!" Guy said, attempting to step forward but tripping a bit over the cuffs. "Look, I'm just an earth pony who wanted to play some pranks that ended up going wrong. Truth is, I'm a huge fan of Twilight and her friends! I just thought being a villain for a week or so would bring some excitement into my boring life." He awkwardly walked over to a window and opened the blinds slightly, peering outside. "Technically, it hasn't failed to do that, but this isn't the kind of excitement I want."
Discord leaned forward and stroked his beard. "What did you want, then?"
Guy shut the blinds and turned back to Discord. "I don't know, I just... wanted to be a minor annoyance at best. I figured I could play a few pranks on them over the week, and then at the end, before they'd gone insane or anything, I'd come out and be like 'Ha-ha! It was a joke all along!'. And then we'd have a laugh over it and stuff."
"And did you really think that was going to happen?"
"Well, probably not, but that doesn't really matter anymore. I let myself get too rusty with my pranking ability, and I rushed into this and screwed everything up. Only thing I can do now is get the heck out of Ponyville before they find me."
"Oh?" Discord said. "And were you going to leave Ponyville without this?" He snapped his fingers, and a very familiar bag of money appeared in his hand.
"H-Hey, that's my money!"
"Plus, perhaps, the more important half of the equation." Discord shoved his claw into the bag and pulled out Guy's train ticket. "Look familiar?"
"Yes! I, uh... Can I have those, please?"
"Well," Discord said, stuffing the ticket back into the bag. "I'm not sure I can do that, given my obligation to turn you in. I am a 'good guy' now, after all."
Guy sighed and sat back down. "Great. So, what's your deal here, then? Are you just trying to taunt me?"
"Of course not. Rather, this sack plays a key part in an... offer, of sorts, I've been thinking of."
"An offer?"
"That's right." Discord got back up and walked over to Guy. "You see, I've come to the conclusion that you are of no real threat, especially if you truly desire to return to your old life in Canterlot. Does that sound about right to you?"
Guy nodded.
"However, that's not the point of my offer. You see -" Discord held the sack out in front of Guy's face "- you may choose to abandon all this if you so desire. Or -" He yanked the sack back towards himself "- you can stay in Ponyville and finish what you've started."
"How am I supposed to do that?!" Guy said. "All six of them are hunting me down as we speak! I'm screwed if I stay here!"
"And who's to say nopony is willing to help you with that?"
"...What are you implying?"
"Nothing but a curiosity," Discord said, stepping back. "I'm simply interested in what sort of trouble you can stir up when you're better-equipped, so to speak, for the situation."
"I mean, I used to be pretty good at this, back in Canterlot. I even successfully pranked Celestia once."
"Well, you're setting yourself up to a high standard, aren't you?" Discord grinned. "You know, perhaps I can help you get your old skills back, in some way. Tell me, have you ever held any interest in magic?"
Guy thought about that for a second. "Yeah, I guess so. I always thought it would be a pretty useful thing to have."
"How'd you like to give it a spin?"
"What?"
"You heard me." Discord produced a pencil, seemingly only for the purpose of spinning it in his claw. "Just a bit of magic, to assist you in your pranking ventures."
"Well, yeah!" Guy said, ecstatic at the idea, yet still a bit suspicious. "But, like, why, though? Why do you want to help me? After everything I've done, intentional or not?"
"Consider me curious," said Discord. "I want to see what you can do when you have more control over things. I want to know what happens when you're more easily able to make things go the way you want to. Besides, I can take it from you anytime I want, so there's no risk for me."
"And I'll be able to use this magic any way I want?"
"With the certain abilities you'll have, yes."
"Well, I guess I can't say no, then."
"Excellent!" And before Guy could respond, Discord snapped his fingers. Guy instinctively recoiled, but to his surprise, nothing happened.
"Uh," Guy said, looking around. "What did you just do?"
"Why, I've just bestowed upon you a temporary, limited version of my own power. You're welcome."
"Wait, what?" Guy looked down at his hooves. "So, I've got magic now?"
"To an extent, yes. Teleportation's the main idea here, though I did throw a few extras in. How does it feel?"
Guy looked down at his hooves trying to see if he could detect anything that felt different at all throughout his body, but couldn't seem to find anything abnormal. "Well, nothing, really. Maybe you need to get these cuffs off me first?"
"Oh, no, I'm sure it worked," said Discord. "I believe you just need to be shown how to use your abilities. Fortunately, I can give you a short crash course, if you feel that's what you need."
"That could be helpful," Guy said, tugging at his cuffs a bit. "Where would we start with that, though?"
"I like to do things the old-fashioned way," Discord said, and before Guy could say anything, he snapped his fingers.
To Guy's shock, he instantly found himself back outside, in the middle of the alley. Woah! He'd been in that dim bar for a decent while, so he'd been forced to shield his eyes for a moment while they adjusted to being in the sun again. He did notice his cuffs had disappeared, at least. As soon as he re-oriented himself, he looked around for anypony, and to his surprise, quickly found just that.
More specifically, he'd found himself right behind not just Twilight, but all six of the Element Bearers. From what Guy could hear, it seemed they were all conversing about where Guy possibly could've gotten off to, which Guy couldn't help but find funny the now-apparent irony of.
Guy took a step towards them, but stopped. Wait, what am I doing? I'm not ready for this! Despite how much he'd thought about his official villain intro, he was still getting cold hooves at the thought of actually doing it, especially given that he had no remote idea how he was going to make his escape afterward.
Well, Discord did say I have teleportation... And he seems to think magic is best learned as an in-the-moment sort of thing. Should I just trust his judgment?
Regardless of what Guy might have chosen to do in that moment, it wouldn't have mattered either way, as one of the ponies - Twilight, specifically - had finally decided to look behind her. Upon doing so, she quickly spotted a very surprised Guy, and she turned around and pointed straight ahead, directly at him. "Wait! There he is!"
The rest of the ponies then followed suit, each of them individually turning to Guy and locking eyes with him. "Hey!" Rainbow said. "Thought you could sneak up on us, huh?"
That is not what I had in mind, no, Guy thought. The particular reason why he'd thought this, rather than saying it, was that he once again was more or less paralyzed with fear. Not so much mortal fear, but more of a "stage fright" sort of ordeal.
"Well, ain't that funny?" Applejack said. "Here I was thinkin' he'd ran back to the train station, but nope. He was right behind our backs."
Not by choice!
"You can't get away this time, Pony Guy!" Twilight lowered her horn toward him just like before. "Not with all of us here!"
Guy blinked, and nothing more. Come on, you idiot! Say something! Despite Guy's self-insults, his mind remained blank. For the life of him, he couldn't think up a single thing to say, especially given that the old "let's talk it out" route almost certainly wasn't going to work anymore. For Celestia's sake! Say literally anything that comes to mind! Anything!
Twilight seemed to have been expecting an actual response, rather than a blank stare. "Uh, do you have anything to say about that?"
"...Glockenspiel."
"...What?"
Okay, not literally anything! Something relevant to the situation! "Uh," Guy rubbed the back of his neck in his typical anxious fashion. "Well, what I meant by that was, um..."
Theatrical! Be theatrical!
"...Glockenspiel, of course, is what I meant to say!" Guy boomed, in a suddenly much deeper, more powerful tone of voice. "You see, that word is a common expression in my homeland. It means, uh... 'Beware! The wrath of the evil pony bad guy is here, and he is going to do bad things, likely including elaborate pranks and such'!"
All six of them looked at each other in confusion, then back to Guy. Rarity was the first to question what had just been said. "It means all that, does it?"
Pinkie's hand suddenly shot up, as if she was trying to be called on in class. "No it doesn't! It's a kind of instrument! Like a xylophone!"
"Yes, well, different cultures, different terms," Guy said. "It's a regional dialect."
"Oh, really?" said Twilight. "And what region is that from?"
"Well," Guy said. "It's not a well-known culture. I hail from the distant, far-off, obscure land of Canterl- I mean, uh. Canterlot... ion."
"Canterlotion?"
"Yeah! We're known for our, uh, very soft and well-maintained skin."
"Oh, gimme a break!" Rainbow said as she flew a few feet into the air. "'Canterlotion'? That almost sounds as fake as your name!"
"Speakin' of," Applejack said, "You'd best get to spittin' out who in the hay you are and why you've been harassin' us."
"Oh, you want to know who I am?" Improv ability, don't fail me now. "Well, my ponies, you're right about one thing. My name is, indeed, a fake."
"Well, no duh!" Rainbow exclaimed. "So what is it, then?"
"I'll tell you who I am." Guy started walking towards them at a pace he felt was just slow enough to be as menacing as possible. "Why, I'm your new nemesis! Ponyville's newest villain! It's indeed true, you six, that my name is not 'Pony Guy'. My true name -" Guy reached back and flung his cape out for effect "- is Guy Pony!"
They all stared at him, but Twilight was the only one who ended up saying anything. "...Seriously?"
"Yes! Seriously!" Guy stomped his hoof on the ground. "It's not that boring of a name, okay? It makes me sound kinda rogue-ish."
"It's not just that," Twilight said, tilting her head to the side a bit. "It's also the part where you said you're our 'new nemesis', and that you're 'Ponyville's newest villain'. Are you saying you want to be a... well, a bad guy?"
"Yeah, that's right."
"Why?"
"I'll tell you why!" Guy stepped closer, now only a few feet away from Twilight. "Because it's fun!"
"Really?" Rainbow said. "What's so fun about being evil?"
"Well," Guy replied, "It means you get to do whatever you want! Also, I get to play sick pranks on you six."
"Pranks?!" Applejack exclaimed. "You burned my barn down! That sure is pretty sick, but it's a heck of a lot more than a prank!"
"That was an accident. Doesn't count."
"And what about you stealing my frosting?" Pinkie said.
"Not valuable enough to be grand larceny. Doesn't count."
"And what about what you did to Angel Bunny?" Fluttershy, Guy noticed, surprisingly looked more ticked off than the rest of them.
"That didn't even happen, so that doesn't count either."
"Then how did he get so overstuffed?" asked Twilight.
"I don't know, I wasn't there for it!" Guy said. "Look, he's a rabbit! Rabbits love vegetables! I bet he just made that story up as an excuse for eating all the carrots in the house, or something."
Fluttershy looked down at the ground, seemingly putting some actual consideration into what Guy was saying, but it didn’t amount to anything as Twilight spoke up.
“Well, even if we believed you, there’s still everything else you did!”
“Right, of course,” Guy said. “Very well, then. We should probably cut to the chase here, anyway.”
That statement caused the six of them to step back a bit, so he put his hoof out in some sort of attempt at reassurance. “Oh, not like that! I just mean, like, the six of you have me figuratively cornered now, right?”
“That’s right,” Twilight said.
“Alright, well, that's neat and all, but did you plan beyond this? Like, now that you've got me, what exactly do you plan on getting out of this situation? Surely you planned out what you were going to do once you found me."
"Well..." Twilight found herself rubbing the back of her neck this time. "We mainly wanted you to stop what you're doing."
"Is that it?"
"Er, well..." Twilight looked over at her friends. "Could you give us a moment?" Before Guy could reply, Twilight brought up a magic field that encapsulated her, along with the other five ponies.
"Alright, girls," Twilight said. "This field will prevent him from hearing us. We can freely discuss our thoughts here, though we should still keep an eye on him. If he runs off, Rainbow can go after him. He won't go far that way."
"So," Applejack said, "How are we gonna do this? I can't rightfully make heads or tails of what he's saying."
"Yeah!" said Rainbow. "This guy doesn't have any idea how being a bad guy works, or how pranking works!"
"That's right," Applejack said. "Y'don't burn somepony's barn down as a prank!"
"He did say it was an accident," said Pinkie.
"Yeah, but how're we supposed believe him?" Applejack said. "I mean, he's straight up tellin' us he's a bad guy."
"That's true." Twilight looked over at Guy, who, surprisingly, hadn't moved from his spot. He was looking around at his surroundings aimlessly, possibly out of boredom. She turned back to her friends. "Though, if he wants to be known as a bad guy, wouldn't he want us to know the bad things he did? I mean, he admitted to everything else."
"Except for what happened to Angel," Fluttershy added.
"Right. Do you think Angel would lie about that?" asked Twilight. "I'm not saying this 'Guy Pony' didn't do it, but it doesn't really match up with the rest of the things he did. He even said it himself, he only wants to be a villain so he can 'play sick pranks'."
Fluttershy thought about it for a moment. "Well, Angel does really love carrots..."
"We don't know for sure if he's telling the truth," said Rarity, "and his intent can't really be definitively proven either way. Still, perhaps we should give him the benefit of the doubt for now."
"Not like he could really get away anyway," said Applejack. "Did y'all see when he swished his cape up like that? He's got no wings. He's an earth pony."
"Sure," said Rainbow, "But still, he has committed, like, actual crimes. We've gotta do something about that!"
"I suppose some form of punishment is in order," said Twilight. "I just don't really know how we'd do that."
"Perhaps community service?" Rarity offered. "Applejack's barn does need to be rebuilt, and Fluttershy's house needs cleaning."
Pinkie Pie piped up. "And we need someone to cover the morning shift at Sugarcube Corner!"
Twilight was about to reply, but was interrupted by a series of knocking noises. She looked to the side, to find Guy knocking on the shield impatiently.
"Are you six almost done in there?" he said. "I've got places to go. Villain things to do."
Twilight sighed and turned back to her friends. "Yes, that sounds reasonable. Let's try that." Twilight lowered the shield and turned back to Guy. "Listen, Guy."
"Yeah?"
"We've been talking, and we think that if you can just help us undo the damage you've caused, and maybe a few extra things, we'll all let you go back to Canter... lotion."
"Oh, really? And what if I refuse?"
"Then we'll have to turn you in to a higher power. I'm sure Princess Celestia would love to hear what you've been up to."
"Hah! On the contrary, my coronary!" Guy said, in overly-dramatic fashion. "You'll have a hard time catching me after I've disappeared into thin air!"
Alright, now! Teleport away!
Guy very explicitly did not teleport away. What the-?! I said teleport!
Nothing happened. Maybe I need to concentrate harder. TE-LE-POOOOORT!
The other six, on the other hand, were growing ever more confused and slightly creeped out at Guy's exclamation, and moreso the fact that he was now standing there with an exceedingly intense look on his face, staring off into nothing. He'd gone cross-eyed, his cheeks were puffed out, and his face was slowing turning a flaming shade of red. They could've sworn they heard a faint groaning noise from him, like he was straining every muscle in his body.
"Y'know," Applejack said, "I'm startin' to think this guy's got a few screws loose."
"You think?" Rainbow said.
"I'm starting to get concerned that this pony might need help of some kind," said Twilight. "What's he trying to do, even? He's just standing there, holding his breath. Also, did he just call me a 'coronary'?"
Guy suddenly exhaled the entire contents of his lungs into the air, and shouted in frustration: "Teleport already, Celestia-dang-it!" And with that, he disappeared, nowhere to be seen.
"Wh-What?!" Twilight exclaimed. "Did you all see that?!"
"Yeah!" Rainbow flew over to the spot where guy was. "He just disappeared!"
"But he's an earth pony! How could he possibly teleport?!" Twilight said.
The six were left there to contemplate that question, now, yet again, having managed to lose Guy. They all ran off trying to find him, this time with absolutely zero leads on where he was.