4. - Tea Time
“Discord?!” Bean bellowed, as a conga line of cuckoo clocks honked by him while performing the Cancan. “How much longer is this going to take?!”
As fun as it was to have those tedious little things known as relativity and the laws of physics rendered completely moot, Bean would feel much better if gravity would be his friend again.
“Why are you shouting? I’m right here,” the draconequus replied from over Bean’s shoulder, causing a gasp of alarm. “And never fear, mon capitaine! I just wanted to let you have a look around, since we had a few minutes to spare. We’ll be inside Fluttershy’s cottage as soon as we’re needed.”
“This is where you live?” Bean asked, while he watched some books flap by with a whistling ping.
“Well, this is where I want to build the outdoor pool once I get the master bathroom done,” he replied as he waved to a specific spot of nothingness. “Priorities, you know.”
“Uh huh,” Bean replied. “I’ve heard that adds value to the home.”
“Just avoid the bottomless pit and the flying badgers, no matter what. They’ve been held up in customs all day, and that’s enough to make any creature mad, y’know?”
“Flying badgers. Of course.” Bean looked around. “Is that your house?”
“Yes, but don’t bother asking me for a cup of sugar. I don’t have any.”
Bean thought for a moment as he floated on. “Would you happen to have some sugarn’t?”
“As a matter of fact, I do!” Discord proclaimed gleefully. “But that will have to wait until you have a proper container for it. You wouldn’t want your wifey-poo to get a hold of that stuff.”
“Good point.”
“Well, here we are!” Discord proclaimed as a sparking portal opened beside the both of them. “Just step through there, and you’ll find yourself smack on Fluttershy’s couch. Please, you first. I insist.”
Bean’s legs waved furiously, but movement in any direction remained an illusion. Discord watched this display of futility for a moment with a flat look, but then he simply grabbed Bean by the tail and began swinging him in a tight circle over his head. Once he had enough inertia, Discord released the now screaming Royal, and Bean hurtled head first through the portal…
… and on to Fluttershy’s couch.
It took a moment for Bean to realize he was all right, save for the fact that he was on his head. He was pretty sure he could feel four legs, a snout, and a pair of ears. Nothing felt broken or misplaced.
“Oh! Prince Bean!”
“Fluttershy!” Discord gleefully scooped up the pegasus and gave her a large hug. “So good to see you again, my dear!”
“Oh, um, it’s nice to see you too, but I think we need to turn the Prince right-side up. Unless he’s comfortable like that.”
“I’m fine,” Bean offered, and he flipped himself upright while simply waving his legs, counting them again to make sure there were still only four of them. “Though I think I’ll take the train next time.”
“Further posh!” Discord exclaimed. “By the time I’m done with you you’ll never want to ride on a train again!”
“I like trains,” Fluttershy offered. “They’re very soothing, and I like to watch the trees go by.”
Discord growled slightly while he put Fluttershy on the ground. “Yes, well. I have heard steam power is the way of the future.”
Bean shared a worried glance with Fluttershy. This was a fine way to kick things off.
“I do have to admit it was kinda fun to fly,” Bean offered. “Maybe I’ll like your way better once I figure out how to steer.”
“I suppose I could give you a few pointers,” Discord replied with a wary look. “If there is a next time, that is.”
“Oh! Will Prince Bean be joining us again?” Fluttershy asked with subdued glee.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Discord replied, and Fluttershy shook her head. “Huh, must have slipped my mind.”
Bean then felt something brush past his legs, and a six-inch version of himself, a scroll in his tiny hoof, ran by when he glanced down. Bean offered a snort of amusement as the mini Bean made a superpony leap up and shoved the scroll down one of Discord’s ears, and Fluttershy giggled a little at the show.
“That’s all right, Discord. I think we can always accommodate one more,” Fluttershy offered. “Welcome, Your Highness, to my home.”
“I’m a little short to be a highness,” Bean replied with a smile, “but thank you. I hope I’m not an imposition.”
“Oh, not at all!” Fluttershy said with a pleased smile. “Discord, did you bring the cucumber sandwiches?”
“But of course, my dear!” He produced a large tray of them from behind his back. “I could never forget these!”
“Wonderful! I have some haychips and rye crackers ready to go, and the water should almost be ready. Do either of you have a preference on the tea?”
“Don’t ask me,” Bean chuckled. “They still all taste the same to my poor taste buds. Discord, you pick.”
“Yes, what would you like?” Fluttershy asked Discord with a very earnest look.
“Oh, I always liked a good Camembert,” Discord replied while the cucumber sandwich tray floated to the table. “Why don’t we try that?”
“Isn’t that a cheese?” Bean asked with a confused look.
“My dear Bean!” Discord gasped in horror. “Please don’t tell me you’ve never had the pleasure of enjoying a cheese tea?!”
“Um… I’m afraid I have not.”
“Well, that changes today! My dear, if you would be so kind,” Discord replied with a bow to her, but Fluttershy’s eyes darted back and forth as she surveyed the ground.
“Um, Discord? I’m afraid I don’t have any cheese tea either.”
“No? Well, it’s a good thing I just so happen to have some here with me,” Discord replied, and he plucked three tea bags from out of his armpits. “Here we are! This should be more than enough.”
Bean went slightly pale, and his legs threatened to buckle. Steady, Baked. He can’t poison you. Celly would rip his goatee off if he did. Just ignore the blatant health code violations, and you’ll be fine.
“Why, thank you!” Fluttershy proclaimed as she took the bags. “Are there any special instructions for steeping them?”
“Oh, no. They should work just like any other tea,” Discord replied with a small scoff. “They might scream when you put them in the water, but don’t mind that.”
“Oh, Discord!” she giggled. “I’ll be right back.”
“How many kinds of cheese tea are there?” Bean asked as he and Discord sat on Fluttershy’s couch.
“Sadly, only about six or so, but the R&D department is hard at work on a Limburger flavor as we speak.”
Bean pulled a disgusted face as a second Discord in a lab coat and safety goggles dropped down from the ceiling, head-first, gave them both a thumbs-up while holding a beaker in one paw and a block of said repulsiveness in the other talon, and then quickly retreated the way he’d come.
“No offense, but I’ll pass on that. My parents once bought a block to experiment with, and we couldn’t get rid of the smell for months. That stuff still haunts my nightmares sometimes.”
“Don’t worry, Bean-o. I keep only the private label stuff for you.”
“Thanks, I guess?”
Discord smiled. “What was that word again? Ah yes! You are welcome. Oo, it makes my tongue tingle! Really, there should be a song about that.”
Bean snickered a little, and then sighed as he looked around Fluttershy’s cottage. It was a quaint place, and Bean rather liked the simplistic layout of the room. The various pet beds, birdhouses, and other bric-a-brac that went along with caring for animals added a peaceful air and serene ambiance, and he tried to imagine what it must be like when the room was full of critters instead of ponies.
He then took in a deep breath, and he mentally noted the smell of the room, or more specifically the lack thereof. He had expected her house to smell more ‘animal-ish,’ given the natural by-product of the various woodland critters she cared for, but instead of dander and poo-poo smell—as his mother would put it—he found that her home actually had just a faint hint of mountain breeze and citrus.
He then wondered how long it had taken Fluttershy to get her home this clean, and he hoped her animals weren’t too upset about what his visit had meant for them. He could imagine the lecture he’d get about using his royal position inappropriately when Celestia found out about the poor creatures being tossed out for his sake, and then the lengthy ‘discussion’ on how to not inconvenience others.
“Here we go!” Fluttershy announced. She trotted cheerfully in, and a large brown bear followed after her with the tea set on a tray in his paws. Bean watched on and was impressed as the bear gently made his way over to the table, slowly lowered the tray, and daintily placed it down. He then straightened and gave everypony a look that begged for feedback on his performance.
“That was wonderful, Harry!” Fluttershy cheered softly. “You’ve been practicing, I can tell.”
Harry gave a pleased grunt and a smile, but then he turned to Discord.
“Hm?” Discord had been filing a talon, and then he waved his paw in the general direction of Harry. “Yes, yes. Very good.”
Harry looked annoyed for a moment, but he was right back to curious when he turned to Bean.
“You did do good, but may I offer one bit of advice?”
Harry nodded.
“Keep your back straight and bend at the knees. When you bend with your back the natural tendency is to tilt, and you could spill what you are carrying. You can also avoid backaches that way.”
Harry nodded with a large smile, bent down at the knees, and scooped Bean up into a literal bear hug. Though he was surprised, Bean chuckled a little as he returned the favor, and Harry happily sauntered out of the room after returning him to the couch.
“Harry has been working on his manners,” Fluttershy explained while she began to pour out the tea. “He’s made wonderful progress so far, and I know he appreciated your help too, Prince Bean.”
“Just call me Bean, please,” he replied with a small smile. “I’m not here as a royal, I’m here as Discord’s friend and guest.”
“And I think that is just wonderful,” Fluttershy replied with a friendly pat on his talon. “He really is a sweetheart, once you get to know him.”
Discord giggled a bit behind his paw, and the cucumber sandwiches floated over towards Bean.
“Thanks,” he offered before taking a sniff. “Did you do the prep work on these, Discord?”
Discord scoffed. “Do you think I made these appear out of thin air?”
“Do you like chaos?” he retorted.
“Fine, yes. I did.”
“May I offer a teensy weensy suggestion?”
“Suggestion? My dear Bean-o, these were conjured out of nothing at the peak of freshness.”
“No, not that. Try adding just a dash of lemon juice. It gives the cucumber a little kick.”
Discord looked at the sandwich he’d taken in his talon and contemplated Bean’s suggestion. Bean, for his part, took a nibble of his sandwich and savored the flavor, but then he began to fret that he had overstepped his bounds. It wasn’t really his place to offer critiques of the snacks that had been provided, and he was not a food critic.
He was a ruler of Equestria. He needed to be gracious, kind. He needed to offer praise and support.
He needed to be more like Celestia. She wouldn’t criticize the food, she would simply enjoy it.
“You know, Bean-o may be onto something,” Discord offered. “Maybe I will add some lemon. I bet it would make it zestfully clean.”
“I’ll try one when you do make them,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“I should take some cooking lessons from you, ol’ Bean. I bet you have some wonderfully chaotic concoctions I could try.”
“Maybe one or two,” he admitted. There were more than a few failed recipes that had occurred in Beandom throughout the ages, and he could see Discord enjoying them immensely.
But perhaps now was not the time to admit to them being failures. He didn’t want to run the risk of offending Discord with this knowledge.
“Here you are, Bean.” Fluttershy offered a teacup to Bean, and he gave a soft nod to her before taking a deep sniff.
He then recoiled a bit. It was tea, yet it had the distinct aroma of a finely crafted Camembert cheese. It was quite the contradiction, and he peered into the cup just to make sure there wasn’t an actual lump of of the stuff in there.
“Discord, this is delightful!” Fluttershy offered. “I really like the taste of it.”
“I’m glad you like it, my dear,” Discord replied with a smile. “What about you, Bean? What do you think?”
“It certainly smells good,” he offered. “I, uh… well, let me see.”
Bean took a slow and thoughtful slurp, paused, and then took another sip.
“Well?” Discord asked eagerly.
“It is good, but you’ll have to forgive me. I’m not used to drinking cheese.”
“So you don’t like it?” Discord pouted.
“No, no!” Bean offered quickly. “I do like it. I just need to adjust to the fact that it is drinkable.”
Oh, Celestia was going to wring him and then hang him out to dry, he just knew it. He should have said it was good right off.
“Next time I’ll bring an Edam for you to try. You’ll like the texture.”
“Speaking of which, what can I bring to the next tea date?” Bean asked.
“Oh, you don’t have to bring anything,” Fluttershy replied. “Just having you here is nice enough.”
“No, I insist. You provided the venue and some snacks, Discord brought the tea, but I didn’t bring anything. I really want to provide something too. What if I bring some sugar cookies?”
“I would like that,” Fluttershy replied. “You don’t have to, but if you’d like to bring some, that would be wonderful.”
“I’ll do that, then. My mom has a pretty good tea cookie recipe. Small and bite sized, good for dipping.”
“Fluttershy, didn’t you say there were some haychips?” Discord asked while he looked under the cushion he was now levitating in the air.
“Oh my goodness, I forgot them! I’ll be right back.”
Fluttershy quickly flew into the kitchen area as Discord came down and sat properly again, but then he gave Bean a rather serious look.
“Lighten up, Bean-o! This is supposed to be fun, and full of that magical friendship business. You look like you’re going to have a aneurysm on me.”
“Do I?” he asked before letting out a pent-up breath. “I’m just nervous. I don’t have a lot of experience with these kinds of things. I don’t want to ruin everything by doing something dumb.”
“And then having the missus chew you out, I bet,” Discord replied with a smirk. “Bean, let me tell you a secret,” Discord offered. “The trick to enjoying a tea party…”
Bean leaned forward a little, and he nodded his head to get Discord to finish the statement.
“... is to actually enjoy yourself.”
“Oh,” was the best reply Bean could manage.
“Really, Bean-o, if your wife has you on that short of a leash then you need to rethink your life. You are having tea with moi, the reining chaos champion for over a thousand years straight; and Fluttershy, the most easy-going and ‘oh, that’s ok’ pony in the history of ponkind. I don’t think we could get you into trouble if we tried.”
“It’s not you two I worry about,” Bean sighed. “It’s what I will do, or not do.”
“Bean, I want you to take a good, hard look at who you are talking to and then I want you to use those writing skills you’ve been working on to come up with any plausible scenario that would get you into hot water.”
“That’s easy. All I have to do is say something offensive, or run afoul of some unknown custom that you two have. Fluttershy may be kind, but even she is bound to have her limits. What if I inadvertently say something disparaging about one of her animal friends? That would cook my cucumber real fast.”
“Well, you are in for an absolutely miserable time then,” Discord proclaimed. “I can assure you that there is no way you possess the capability to offend Fluttershy, given the fact that even I have yet to offend her here. If you want to be afraid of every last word and every little movement you make then fine, but I am sure you would disappoint her more by doing that then by doing anything else. Relax and be yourself! That is what she really wants.”
Bean mulled over this just as Fluttershy returned with the bowl of chips.
“Bean?” she asked. “Are you alright?”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m good. Discord was just giving me some good advice on proper tea expectations.”
“Oh, I don’t think we really have any expectations here, other than to have fun,” she replied in kindness.
“It’s hard not to with such good company.”
“Discord was telling me he helped you out in Court a few days ago.”
“He did, and he was very helpful too,” Bean offered, to which Discord gave a pleased scoff. “What did he tell you about it?”
“Well, he said he couldn’t tell me much about the details, but he did say it was a tricky decision and that you did a good job with your ruling. It must be very difficult getting adjusted to being a Prince.”
“Somewhat, but Celestia has been patient with me, and slowly I’m getting the hang of it. There’s a lot to learn, I’m finding out. I need to study history, legislation, diplomacy, etiquette, combat…”
“Combat?” Fluttershy asked with a hint of worry.
“Just some self-defense, nothing too in-depth for now. Celestia says she wants me to know enough to get myself out of a bad situation and to get the guards into it. I agree with her: I just want to avoid being dead weight if something like that happens.”
“Well, I certainly hope it doesn’t,” said Fluttershy with a pat of Discord’s talon. “But you would help Bean out too if something bad happened, right?”
“My dear Fluttershy, I hardly think we need to worry about that. I believe Princess Celestia would be the one to rescue our stallion in distress before anypony else.”
“I’d rather avoid all that too,” Bean chuckled. “I know I would turn Equestria inside out if I had to for Celly, and I think she would do the same for me, but it would be best if we don’t go there.”
“I know I always feel a little bad when we used the Elements of Harmony, but it always worked out for the best,” Fluttershy remarked. “I’m glad you have good friends to help you out, just like I do.”
“I am too. I know I’m gonna need all the help I can get to keep from totally ruining Equestria,” he said with a glance to Discord. “But the friends I have, and the ones I have yet to meet, are sure to help me avoid such a calamitous fate.”
“You just let me know if you need anything, and I’ll be more than happy to help,” Fluttershy offered. “And I know the other girls will do whatever they can, too. We’re all here for you.”
“Thank you,” said Bean with a deeply grateful smile. He felt the warmth of friendship burning in his chest, and he was amazed that there were so many who would do so much to help him out. He knew he didn’t deserve all of this support, but he was immensely pleased it was there and that it gave him something to stand on.
“Discord, why don’t you tell us one of your stories?” Fluttershy asked with a soft smile for her draconequus friend. “I bet Bean would love to hear one.”
“Yeah, tell!” Bean offered with a slight laugh. “I’ve always heard one way to become a better writer it to read and listen to a lot of other stories.”
“Oh, well,” Discord stammered playfully with some red on his cheeks. “If you two simply insist. Have I ever told you about the time I trained my right paw to fetch my left leg?”
Bean, Discord, and Fluttershy chuckled heartily at the draconequus’ tale. Discord had quite a few interesting and amusing stories, and Bean couldn’t help but laugh at his antics.
“Oh, Discord!” Fluttershy remarked after her giggles had settled down. “You’ll have to show me how to do that sometime.”
“I would love to, my dear,” Discord replied, but then a cuckoo clock appeared right next to him in a flash of light and chimed, sending the cuckoo in one ear and out the other several times. “Oh, but look at the time! I’m afraid I have to get Bean back to Canterlot.”
“Oh, do you have to go already?” Fluttershy asked somewhat sadly.
“Yeah, I do,” Bean replied. “This has been fun, but Celly and I are heading to the Crystal Empire this afternoon. I need to get back so I can head out with her.”
A knock at the door caught everypony’s attention, but Discord quickly stood and began moving to the door. “I’ll get it! It’s probably my supply of whoopie cushions. Pinkie Pie keeps stealing them off my porch, you know, so I have to send them elsewhere to prevent that.”
“Well, say hello to Cadance and Shining Armor for me when you do get there,” said Fluttershy to Bean as they both stood. “I think you’ll really like the Crystal Ponies, and make sure you get a chance to see the Crystal Heart. It’s really quite neat. Oh, and if you can, you should go see the tiny ewes in their petting zoo. They’re just so adorable!”
“Well hello!” Discord exclaimed. “I didn’t expect to see you here!”
“Good afternoon, Discord!” Celestia’s voice drifted into the house, and Fluttershy’s pupils shrank to pinpricks.
“Oh my goodness! Princess Celestia, here?! Oh, I hope she doesn’t mind the mess!”
“Come in, come in!” Discord offered. “Care for some tea?”
“I would normally say yes, but I’m afraid we need to be going.”
“I was just about to bring him back, tags and all, you know.” Discord reached out with one clawed hand and produced a mattress tag from the inside of the vest Bean had not been wearing two seconds ago that promised exile to the moon if removed.
“I’m sure you were, but I decided to come get him myself since we had to pass by this way anyway.” Celestia ducked slightly to keep from impaling the rafters and birdhouses. “Fluttershy, hello! I hope I’m not causing a disruption by coming here.”
“You, a disruption?” Fluttershy replied with a panicked smile and several quick breaths. “Not at all! I was just getting everything tidied up here, that’s all!”
“Good, I would hate for you to have a panic just because I am here. Did my Bean behave himself?” she asked playfully.
“Bean? Oh, he was a delight!” Fluttershy replied. “It was nice to have him here, and he and Discord had a lot of good stories and jokes to tell.”
“Bean-o was on his best behavior, Celly,” Discord added. “He even offered to bring sugar cookies to the next tea party.”
“He did? Well, I shall have to have a sample of them first to ensure they are fit for a tea party of such distinction as this one,” Celestia replied with a wink for her husband. “May I be so impetuous as to invite myself to accompany Bean next week?”
“Of course you can come!” Fluttershy immediately replied. “We would love to have you here.”
“Are you sure? I know you started this for yourself and Discord. I don’t want to interrupt that.”
“Not at all!” Discord replied, and he threw his talon over her withers. “So long as you can tolerate a little chaos, we would love to have you.”
“It… can get a little chaotic at times,” Fluttershy added. “We had a nice Camembert cheese tea today, for example.”
“Camembert?” Celestia asked. “Interesting. Camembert is good, but I always prefered Edam, or perhaps a nice Brie.”
“What luck, I was just saying I had a nice Edam to bring next time!” Discord proclaimed. “You simply must come next week.”
“How about we make it tentative?” Celestia offered. “I will plan on coming, but if you would feel better with my absence then please say so. I won’t be offended at all.”
“We’ll take that under advisement. Now, off you go!” he replied as he grabbed Bean, placed him on Celestia’s back, and then turned her around. “Important meetings to attend to and all that! Don’t worry, I’ll help Fluttershy tidy up here. Tootles!”
“See you next week, Fluttershy!” Bean called back as they exited, and both Royals waved goodbye before Celestia began walking down the path towards town. He then simply wrapped his arms around her neck, and she gave him a quick giggle for his nip of her ear.
“Did you have a good time?” she asked.
“It was fun, yes. I was a little worried at first about doing something wrong, but once I relaxed it was really nice. Fluttershy is a good host, and Discord has some amusing stories. I’m glad I came.”
“I’m glad you did, too,” she replied. “Discord needs more friends, and I think he likes you. Hopefully some of your distinct Bean-ness can help influence him.”
“Have to be careful with that. Some of his Discord-ness might rub off on me.”
Celestia glanced back at him with a smirk. “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest of ponies.”
Bean was about to question that, but he heard her wings pop out, and he instead smiled as his grip tightened slightly.
“Did I mention that I liked flying with you?”
“You didn’t have to. I could tell.”
Bean whooped with delight as one mighty push of Celestia’s wings took them both airborne.
* * ✹ * *
“I think I’m a bad influence on you,” Bean remarked.
“Oh?” Celestia laughed. “How so?”
“The Princess of Equestria, flying?! What is this world coming to? Celestia doesn’t fly!”
“I actually quite enjoy flying,” she replied with a playful boop for him. “I just don’t have much time to do so, and I do have a tendency to fly faster than my guards can. They don’t like that very much.”
“Speaking of guards, how long were Sergeants Pokey and Clover Leaf hanging out by the front door of Fluttershy’s?”
“They took off as soon as we figured out Wysteria was missing, so perhaps fifteen minutes after you had started.”
“Wysteria is okay, right?”
“She’s fine, yes. She sent me a magic letter from the Pineapple Islands explaining what had happened. I sent a reply saying she should enjoy the time alone with Quillpoint and that we’d see her in a few days. I think she’ll enjoy a small break.”
“She could send a letter from that far out?”
“It’s not easy to do, but with enough magic power behind it she can, yes. There is also the side benefit of no belching at the receiving end.”
“You, belch? I’d pay good money to see that.”
“You’d better not,” she laughed. “For one thing, Luna would need to defend her title.”
“You’re joking.”
“Nope. The Royal Canterlot Voice is nothing compared to that thu’um she’s got.”
“You have got to be messing with me.”
“Provide me with a cold mug of root beer and we can settle the matter quickly,” Luna replied with a laugh while she entered the rail car. “I won’t relinquish my title without a fight, you know.”
“One of these days you two will quit surprising me.” Bean laughed.
“Just don’t get her anywhere near Shining,” Celestia whispered loudly from behind a hoof. “They might cause an earthquake.”
“Shining?” Luna replied with a scoff. “You should worry more about Cadance.”
“Should we just throw Twilight in the ring as well?” Bean asked with a laugh.
“I don’t think Twilight could handle seeing such a sight,” Celestia replied. “And I can only imagine the rather lengthy essay I would get on how Royalty does not stoop to belching.”
“Would she rather it takes the back door?” Luna asked.
“All right, all right,” Bean offered. “Before this gets any more out of hoof, let’s change the subject. How long before we reach the Empire?”
“Perhaps six hours or so,” Celestia replied. “It will depend on the weather.”
“There’s a storm?”
“The weather around the Empire is similar to the weather in the Everfree. Blizzards will frequently form on their own, and it can make the railroad tracks impassable for a time. However, the last weather report I received indicated that there were no storms in the vicinity. We should be able to continue without any undue delays.”
“Huh. That’s still so strange to think that weather can work on its own. It would make more sense to me if you said there were a bunch of rogue pegasi with snow clouds running around and making blizzards.”
“That might be more logical, but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.”
“Maybe once I see it for myself,” Bean shrugged. “So, what happens once we get there?”
“We’ll be greeted by Shining and Cadence, and then we will be treated to dinner before having some time together to chat and retiring for the evening. Tomorrow they will take us on a tour of the Empire, and you’ll get to meet many of the crystal ponies during this time, along with the major points of interest in the Empire. It’ll be a good time to practice your meet-and-greet skills.”
“Will you be with us, Luna?”
“I will not,” she replied simply. “I have set up a meeting with Blueblood, and I wish to figure out what went wrong as soon as possible.”
“Huh, okay,” Bean replied thoughtfully. “When will I meet him, then?”
“You will meet him at dinner this evening,” Celestia replied first. “It should be… memorable, to say the least.”
“I hope not. I’m not as good as you are at reading body language and vocal tones, but I am willing to bet you don’t mean the good type of memorable.”
“He’ll behave himself, and the meeting should be cordial,” Celestia replied with a hard glare. “If he isn’t, he’s going to find himself negotiating over the most banal things I can find.”
“You could always sic Shining on him again,” Luna offered with a wicked smile. “I did rather enjoy watching him try to run all those laps the last time.”
“Now, Luna. I do not wish to be the one responsible for giving my beloved nephew a heart attack.”
“From running?” Luna scoffed. “That won’t cause it. He quite nearly had one when I told him why I had to leave in the first place, so I imagine he will have one all on his own once he finally meets the good Bean. He told me that he hoped you had enough sense to boop a tall, rugged, and charming stallion who would remind him of himself.”
“But my Bean is charming,” Celestia replied with a quick boop for the one she loved. “I don’t care if he can see that or not. I’m keeping this Bean, and I will love him, and hold him, and squeeze him, and hug him, and cuddle him, and keep him warm so he never feels rejected, and…”
“Good moon and stars above, I’ll get used to this one day, too,” Luna muttered with a smile as Celestia nuzzled her Bean with a playfully delighted giggle. She then rapped her hoof on the side of the car and shouted, “Get this train moving! I am going to be smothered back here if you don’t!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.048 seconds
Total duration
699 users online
1,062,907 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ow my teeth. they hurt so bad after the sweetness that is the end of this chapter.
8660706
It's not sweet until it gives you cavities.
Cute, also glad the tea party went well.
also dang that's clever
8660738
8660751
Also, I feel so uncultured. I haven't tried many of those cheeses, I've been more of a mozzarella/swiss/provolone/cheddar kinda guy. Seems Chaos has some finer standards.
Oh, a Pepperjack tea would be interesting!
8660760
Have a nice kick to it I bet.
Is there actually such a thing as Camenbert tea? Because I have never heard of such a thing.
Oh noes.
8660785
Pretty sure there isnt, but it does sound like one, though. I just took a fun-to-say cheese name and made a tea out of it. Seemed pretty chaotic to me.
...
"...Boss?"
...Fus...
*furrows brow in confusion* "What was that boss?"
...Ro...
*eyes widen in fear and recognition* "Oh... welp this is gonna-"
DAH!
*Shout sends flying and crashing into the fourth wall causing cracks on it* "... hurt... ow..."
*loud sound of glass suDdeNLy ShAtTer-*
Hi mey... hi fen mindok vahzah do suleyk!
8660835
Bean... Run.
So now you don't like cheese now!? I am stating to think that you have a general dislike about those who hail from the great Hexagon.
I have tried putting cheese in tea, and the thing that I can say is that you have to keep in mind that Cheese like any dairy products is basically fat and that putting it in a hot beverages essentially diluting grease in water not very tasty, but having it long enough to start melting is always very tasty.
Also, sorry for last time I think I went overboard with my last remark.
So when is Celly changing Bean’s name to “George”?
8660859
"Oh boy, my very own Bean! I shall love him and pet him and squeeze him and rub him and ..."
"Please stop. You are hurting me."
Okay, you need to make a chapter of them having a Royal Belch Off.
8660917
Could you see the studying Twilight would do for that...?!
8660900
You had to know that was coming the moment you had the line:
"“I don’t care if he can see that or not. I’m keeping this Bean, and I will love him, and hold him, and squeeze him, and hug him, and cuddle him, and keep him warm so he never feels rejected, and …”"
8660883
I actually do enjoy cheese quite a bit, and Bean did say the tea was good. And if any creature could pull off a cheese tea, Discord could.
Now, I am off to go enjoy a nice slice of Wensleydale.
8660893
Hopefully before she figures out he is *not* a bunny rabbit.
8660928
I did. I actually went back and watched that and the Marvin the Martian one to make sure she was using the same lines he did.
Man I miss those classic Looney Toons.
8660917
"Let's see. 90 decibels, not bad. 9 second duration, also good. Could use a bit more of a bass note in it, I think. 8 out of 10."
Awesome chapter as always! Only thing I noticed is that bree, is actually spelt Brie
8660924
Most likely what she did when studying Pinkie's Pinkie Sense. So yeah, Twilight would have a field day.
8660939
Oh, heavens. I’m afraid to see what happens when we reach “Bean Season”...
8660807
Incidentally, this isn't the first time I've heard about Camembert cheese; it was from watching Wallace and Gromit that introduced me to that type of cheese.
8660965
Actually, “Bree” was the name of one of the main characters from C.S. Lewis’ “A Horse and his Boy” (Bree being a talking horse of Narnia), so I thought that was just another horse pun...
8660965
Whoops. I shall fix that right now.
8660939
Great... Mistress Celestia... definitely a hobby she has t done yet...
Poor Bean...
So looking forward to a little Blue/Bean interaction...
Who knows, maybe the two will actually hit it off, and become friends, that would be the worst thing for poor Luna...
Well played Loony Tunes reference
8660977
I actually forgot about that. But since I meant the cheese I'll change it.
8660976
"It's like no cheese I've ever tasted."
8661020
Indeed! Also, you may not know this, but Wallace's voice actor died last year.
And now all I feel like doing is chanting Dovakiin over and over again as I look for my copy of Skyrim...I'm not complaining.
8660985
8660992
Can't go wrong with the good stuff.
8661041
I did hear that actually. 'twas a very sad day, but I think he was 95 or so. Not totally unexpected.
8661054
8661060
Indeed. He lived pretty good, long life.
Ok great chapter, I only had 2 questions.
1) Was Luna the same way with her husband? I can totally treating her Twilight when she refused to go to bed by telling how she and her husband can stay away, and get smoochs and be all lovely dovey in front of her if she doesn't.
2) This is before the roots incidents right? I really want to see how Discord gets into Bean good side when he finds out that it was Discord the one that capture the royal sisters.
3) Don't you think it will be funny if Discord decided to 'boost' Bean confidence by increasing his vocal cord so the next time he bench he not only be unable to contain it, his burp has enough force that will shake the entire Cristal Empire like an earthquake? Because I would love to see how that will play out.
Kind of like this but much stronger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2J60QsaV1shttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2J60QsaV1s
Luna and Celestia will have their mane pull back with a shock expression, Bean be complete red by this point and then almost copy Fluttershy by retracting and then utter a slow "Excuse me".
Luna recovering and then tells "no"
He then says "What?"
And she then gets all serious and get to him and saying "Oh no, Bean you are not getting away that easy, you challenge my tittle and you can bet my moon I'm going to defend it!"
8661082
But I don't see Luna being as public with her affection, partly because of her personality and partly because of things being different in ye olden days.
1. What parent doesn't do that to embarrass their child?
2. This is actually after the plundervines / roots incident by about a month or so. Bean would know it happened from the newspaper in Salt Lick but that's about it.
3. That would be hilarious, but we shall see if it actually happens.
“You’ve got me, Celly. But I’ve got sunshine, on a cloudy day. When it’s cold outside, I got the month of May.
I guess,
you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
Pokey. Quill. Boys, back me up.
My girl
My girl
My girl”
8661130
Undertstood, so we are more or less in the Tirek season, boy will Bean be having a tough choose when it happens. Would Celestia grant him a bit of her alicorn magic to ensure he is safe? Or would he send him into the Cristal Empire with Shining Armour? A lot of possibilities can be said.
Although I can see him trying diplomacy and trying to talk with Tirek and Discord before they reach Canterlot
8661135
Talkin' bout my girl
My girl!
8661136
8660947
And the Judge in Appleosa awards Baked Bean the gold in the first — and last — Canterlot Royal Equestria Eructation Competition.
Yes... they truly are up the C.R.E.E.C...
I do so adore reading about Celestia and her hubby bean, i am overjoyed you have started on a second series.
8661221
Groan.
8661373
And I enjoy the fact that you enjoy my story! Still lots of goodness to come.