//------------------------------// // 1. - Happiness Is // Story: This Nose Knows // by Irrespective //------------------------------// Baked Bean, Prince of Equestria and Stallion of the Sun (though he wasn’t sure how he felt about that title yet) hummed a happy tune to himself as he strolled down the hallway and towards breakfast. The sunshine from his wife’s sun streamed in through the windows with a feeling of giddiness, and everypony he encountered in the hallways offered a cheerful greeting which he was most delighted to return. All in all, everything was shaping to be fantastic that day already, and Bean couldn’t keep the smile off of his face if he tried. As he made his way towards more of his beloved’s pancakes, his mind drifted over the events that had led him to where he now was. It was still an incredible thing for him to recall that, by some fantastical chance, he had happened to have been booped on the nose by Princess Celestia herself. He definitely thanked the stars she had fallen in love with him—and he with her—and he happily realized he wouldn’t trade the events of the past three extremely busy weeks, be they good, bad, or otherwise for anything in the world. It was now his grand privilege to remain with her and to take his place at her side as her Prince, and that prospect alone filled him with overflowing joy. There was still much he needed to learn, however. Apart from one petition he had approved while Celestia was out sick, he really had no experience governing on his own, and he was committed to being as useful as he could for his wife and the Kingdom she loved. He still wanted to finish writing his story as well; it was part of the core reason he had been in position to be booped in the first place. There was much to do and much to learn, but if he had Celestia to support and guide him then he could take on the world. “Good morning, sir.” “Ah! Good morning, Sergeant!” Bean turned to the Guard who had just walked up beside him. “How you doing, Pokey?” “Just fine, sir,” he replied with a hoofbump. “You seem to be in a chipper mood as well, sir, if I may say.” “I guess I am,” Bean said with a chuckle. “Can you blame me?” “Not at all sir.” Pokey smiled slightly. “But I do need to go over a few security details for your upcoming trip, if you have a moment.” “Sure!” Bean gladly replied. Celestia had mentioned that morning that she wanted to meet the rest of her new in-laws that weekend, and Bean had agreed it would be good to have a family reunion, even if the circumstances were a bit unique. “Whatcha got?” “Not much, sir. That’s the problem. We have the addresses of your cousins, but not much else. Princess Celestia suggested that we should meet at the Zuerst, but I’m not so sure that’s a good idea.” “Are there security issues?” “No more than any other place, sir.” “Okay. Wait. It’s because of the interruption of their business, right?” Bean asked, and Pokey nodded. “There is that, yes. I would bet my parents would be willing to shut down for a few hours in order to allow all of this to happen, though. After all, they’d have to close the place to meet us somewhere else, anyway. Do we have somepony who could go and check in with them?” “I can have a messenger aloft in five minutes, sir.” “Let’s do that, then. Just send a message asking if they can shut down this Sunday for a family reunion and visit. I’d really be surprised if they said no, but if they do we can figure something else out then.” “Got it, sir,” Pokey replied. “Next, are there any special travel arrangements that need to be made for your family in Las Pegasus?” “If you have them come by rail, you should be fine,” Bean replied with a quick chuckle. “But I don’t think you’d ever be able to get Grandpa Soy and Grandma Pole on to a chariot. They always said there was something wrong with flying ponies.” “They don’t like pegasi?” Pokey asked with a slight ruffle of his own wings. “No, they like pegasi. They just have this bizarre belief that ponies shouldn’t be able to fly. I never really understood it myself, but it was something to do with the concept of ponies shouldn’t have wings. We’ve tried to talk to them about it, but they won’t be swayed. So long as we don’t bring up the subject we should be fine.” “But the Princess has wings, sir. Doesn’t that mean their granddaughter-in-law is breaking the rules, so to speak?” “Yeah, but that kinda hurts my brain to think that a 1,200-year-old Alicorn princess can be a granddaughter to a present-day pony,” he chuckled. “It’ll be alright. My grandparents wouldn’t want to offend the Princess, so they’ll behave.” “If you say so, sir,” Pokey replied. “And the rest of your family lives in Salt Lick, correct?” “Yeah. So all we have to do is say ‘be here at this time’ and they’ll be there. Unless the local hoofball team is playing,” he added. “Very good, sir.” Pokey replied. “I’ll get to work on that. If I need something else I’ll let you know.” “Sounds good.” Pokey offered a quick nod before peeling away, and Bean hoped that he hadn’t offended his loyal royal guard somehow. His mother’s parents had always been a bit peculiar, but nopony in the family had ever really given their odd avian sentiments much thought. Perhaps they should have, but it was hard to think there was any maliciousness in their ideals. They had employed numerous pegasi in their own buffet restaurant over the years, after all, and they gladly served any pegasus guests with the same cheerfulness they offered to unicorns and earth ponies. “Well,” Bean muttered to himself, “maybe once he meets them, it’ll all be all right.” With a shake of his head to clear his thoughts on the matter, Bean moved up to a steady trot to finish the trip to the dining room. He was eager to get going today, since Celestia had an opening in her schedule occur when the Benevolent Order of Griffons—Equestria Regiment had cancelled their meeting. There was now an hour before lunch for them to spend together doing something not related to the governing of Equestria, and Bean was hoping they might work on his novel a bit more. But, really, so long as he was with her, he would be pleased with anything they did, even down to simply sitting and staring into her delectable magenta eyes. He then had the thought that, perhaps, he should try to do something she wanted to do. Despite loving his Celly more than life itself there was still much he needed to learn about her, and he really didn’t know a lot about her private interests and hobbies. When there had been a free moment or two before, Celestia usually would default to reading, but there had to be other things that she found interesting, or that she liked. First things first, though. There was breakfast to be had, as well as a wife’s love to enjoy. He took a quick glance back at his flank, and smiled deeply as he remembered that grand moment on the cloud when his cutie mark had changed. The more he thought of it, the more pleased he was with how it was now. With her sun supporting the book from behind and her words upon the pages, he finally felt like he had a destiny, one that was far more sublime and meaningful than anything he could have ever imagined. She would be behind him to support, she would be before him to guide, and she would forever remain at his side as a part of him, just as he was now a part of her. He had a place in the world now, and that place was with her. Bean hummed slightly with the thought, and he tried to move up to a canter, but he noticed that despite his legs making the appropriate movement for forward motion he was somehow moving backwards. He unsuccessfully tried to stifle a playful giggle and began swinging his legs furiously, but this had the intended effect of moving him backwards in the golden magic that held him aloft even faster. “Where are you going, my little pony?” Celestia’s resplendent voice called out with a hint of jest. “Usually ponies run to me, not away from me.” “They do?” he called out playfully. “They do. Please, come here. I need to talk to you.” Bean smiled mischievously for a moment, then twisted his face into one of horror. “I’m so sorry!” he wailed. “I had no idea you were there, and I’ll pay whatever fine there is for trampling the flowers! Just please don’t throw me in jail, or banish me to the Everfree Forest, or build a jail in the Everfree Forest and throw me in there, or…” Celestia’s magic gently pushed his mouth shut before he could prattle along anymore, and Bean felt a jolt of pure joy course though his whole being when he was turned around in midair and met those magnificent magenta eyes with his own. “Why does everypony think I am going to do that?” she asked as she booped him lovingly. “I’ve never done that. I’ve never even threatened it.” “Maybe you should,” he replied with a sly bob of his eyebrows. “I’d gladly go be banished with you.” “Hm, don’t tempt me,” she cooed while sharing a nuzzle with him. “We do still have a honeymoon to enjoy together.” “You really think we can get away for a honeymoon?” he asked as she placed him gently on the ground again. “Not in the traditional sense, no. But that was one thing I wanted to talk to you about.” “Oh? What are you thinking?” “I had the thought that it would be nice for us to go on a tour of Equestria,” she replied while they resumed their walk down the hallway. “Just the two of us. And probably a few guards we can’t leave behind,” she admitted. “I like it,” he replied. “Go on.” “Obviously, we would make public appearances and tour the major sights that our kingdom holds, but we could also make an effort to go to the smaller places that have, perhaps, been a bit neglected. We may only be able to spend a day or two in each place, but I think the ponies of our kingdom would love to see us and we would still be together.” “That actually sounds pretty awesome,” Bean replied with a bright smile. “I say we do that.” “I’ll get Wysteria to work on it right away then.” Celestia replied while returning his smile back to him. “Did Sergeant Pokey talk to you about the ‘family reunion’ yet?” “Yeah. He’s going to send a messenger to see if we can hijack the Zuerst and have it there. I don’t think my parents would say no.” “But will it adversely impact their business?” “If they’re as busy as they’ve indicated then they would probably enjoy a break, to be honest. Normally it would hurt, yes. But since Princess Celestia is coming to visit it’ll actually help. Ponies will want to eat where you’ve eaten.” “The same will be true for you,” she pointed out. “There are ponies who will pay a premium to sit in the same chair you’ve sat in, to breathe the air you’ve breathed.” “I bet that got annoying quickly for you.” “It did, but I came to terms with it,” she sighed. “There’s very little I can do about it, other than passing some kind of law or ordinance. Really, ponies do such things because they respect me, so I take it as a compliment.” “It is better than being met at the front doors with pitchforks and torches.” Bean quipped. “If that ever happens then I think I’ll just turn everything over to Luna and banish myself to the sun.” “That sounds… hot.” “Oh, it’s not so bad,” Celestia replied with a giggle. “Sure, my shoes might melt but it’s actually quite nice once you get used to it.” “I’ll just take your word on that one.” He chuckled back. “I’d rather not find out, though.” “I agree.” “How many pancakes did you make today?” “Oh, only about five dozen or so. I hope you’re hungry.” “I’m always hungry for you,” he replied with swift nibble to her neck, and she shrieked in delight before prancing away from him. * * ✹ * * “So, my dear Bean, what shall we do with our free hour?” Celestia asked her beloved. “Well, I want to know if you want to do something.” “Really?” Celestia asked with a left turn in the hallway. “Yeah. I’m a little worried that we’re only doing what I want to do. I want to learn about your interests, your hobbies. My knowledge in that area is lacking, and I want to fix that.” Celestia gave him a quick nip in his mane. “That is very thoughtful of you, but we may have a small problem with that.” “Problem?” Bean asked. “How can your hobbies be a problem?” “When you have lived for 1,224 years you have tried every hobby there is and grown bored with all of them,” Celestia sighed slightly. “Painting, rock collecting, music composition, whittling, underwater basket-weaving, dry macaroni necklaces, on and on. You name it and I’ve probably tried it.” A glorious idea flashed into Bean’s head. “Wait, you can’t be bored with everything. You still like to teach.” “Yes, I do.” Bean tried to stifle his smile, but it was a horrible failure. “Have you ever done guard training?” She gave him a playful look that indicated she knew full well where he was going with this. “Only a few hundred thousand times.” “But ever one-on-one?” he asked, and he went up on his rear hooves and made a fighting pose. “You wouldn’t want me to be defenseless in a crisis, would you?” “No, I certainly do not want that,” she replied with a hum. “So maybe, if you don’t mind, we can do that together. But only if you want to!” He added in a rush and with worry. “Really! I don’t want you to do something just because I’m being obnoxious about it.” Celestia moved in and gave her Bean a quick peck on the cheek. “I have not yet tried teaching my husband new things. I have no problem with your idea. I can teach you some defensive maneuvers, or I can help you write more of your book.” “I worry I’ve been pushing that too much.” “Not at all! I have quite enjoyed watching you write. You have a good imagination and a good grasp of theme and tone. I am very interested to see where you take your ideas.” “I’ll probably run them right off a cliff and into a plot hole.” “Not on my watch,” Celestia giggled. “But why don’t we work on your book for now, and we’ll talk to Lieutenant Spear Point about some private training time in the barracks.” “That sounds good. I just don’t want you to have to worry about protecting me when you’re trying to protect others.” Celestia nodded, but then a very pleased and lusty look came over her while her eyes wandered over her Bean. “Hmm,” she purred, “I am willing to bet you look fantastic in armor.” “Armor?” Bean repeated. “Mm-hmm.” Celestia drew out the sounds in delighted anticipation. “Mares love a stallion in uniform, after all.” “But you are the General of the Guard, so you must have your own set somewhere, too.” “I do, but I haven’t worn it in quite some time.” A visible chill ran through Bean’s hide and it made his fur stand on end. “But I bet you look really, really good in it.” “You’ll just have to wait and see,” Celestia replied with a teasing nip of his neck and an inviting flick of her tail before slowly moving away. “I am the luckiest stallion in Equestria,” Bean muttered under his breath before chasing after his wife. * * ✹ * * “So, let me see,” Bean said as he looked over the paper Wysteria had just given him. “My parents on Sunday. Crystal Empire on Tuesday—after the tea date with Fluttershy and Discord—and then our ‘official’ wedding a week from then.” “Yes, Your Highness.” Bean glanced up and over at her. “Do you really have to call me ‘Your Highness’ every time? Is it a law, or just respectful?” “It’s mostly out of respect, Your Highness.” “Can we maybe modify that a bit?” “How so?” Wysteria asked with a questioning look. “The guards get away with just calling me ‘sir.’ Any chance you could do that too?” “I could work on it, sir.” “Please? I know I’m a Prince and have all sorts of fun titles and honorifics that apply to me now but I’d like to have a few reminders that I was just a common pony at one time.” “How about I call you Sir in the palace, but revert back to the usual honorifics outside?” “I can live with that.” “I’ll do that then, sir. Let me see. We’re still waiting on the reply from your parents, but I’m sure that will come in any minute now. The only other thing going on for now is Day Court.” “Any good petitioners in the queue?” “Not yet. It seems to be the usuals. Though I’d still watch it, I’d bet my quill Celestia is going to ask for your opinion on a lot of the petitions today.” “Yeah, I get that feeling too,” he replied before pushing the rear entrance door open. “This should be amusing, eh?” “Could be, but since I haven’t seen Discord yet I’ll say it’s only going to be partially amusing.” “That would be just fine by me.” Bean laughed. Wysteria chuckled along with him as they entered, but both grew quiet when they saw Lieutenant Spear Point speaking rapidly and in low tones with both Celestia and Luna just before the throne. Bean felt a small knot of worry develop in his stomach, and he tried to make as little noise as possible as he approached all of them. “...and we need to make sure adequate preparations are made. This upcoming wedding party has got to look like an all-you-can-eat buffet to them, and what better revenge for what happened with the Captain and Princess Cadence?” “Bean, please, come join us,” Luna remarked with a wave of her hoof. “This concerns you too.” “What does?” “Changelings.” Luna’s countenance clouded over in anger. “The Lieutenant is wisely pointing out that the wedding party to formally celebrate your marriage to Celly is a perfect time to attempt an attack. We need to make sure that we don’t have a repeat occurrence.” “Do you think a changeling is in the palace?” Bean asked the devoted guard leader. “No, but I don’t want to take any chances either,” he replied. “The security measures that Captain Armor put in place after the last invasion have prevented any more breaches, but I’m having another sweep done of all the staff, just to be safe. I would also like to double the guard, and run continuous sky patrols. Obviously, we would scan all the guests who come into the palace, and I was going to get thoughts on perhaps placing a magic block spell on all unicorns, just to be safe.” “I’m hesitant to take that step, Lieutenant,” Celestia replied with a heavy sigh. “It’s one thing to block magic to prevent cheating during the Equestria Games, but I’m not sure the risk to our event warrants such actions.” “Ponies would understand, Sister.” Luna remarked. “They would do anything to make sure you are safe during the festivities.” “I know.” Celestia paused for a long moment before exhaling slowly. “All right. Let’s block out the magic, out of an overabundance of caution.” “Thank you, Princess,” the Lieutenant replied. “That was all I had.” “Thank you for your dedicated service, Lieutenant,” Luna offered, and Spear Point gave a salute before walking away with a quick canter. “I had hoped…” Celestia softly murmured. “Hoped for what?” Bean asked with a nuzzle for her. “When Luna married Star Struck, there was a party unlike Equestria had ever seen before,” she replied in a contemplative and reminiscent tone. “We literally threw open the gates at the old Castle and let everypony just pile in. I remember how warm and cheerful it felt, and how inviting it all was. It was so magical, to just be surrounded by friends—not our subjects—and to share in their gaiety. I was beyond happy because they were happy. For one day and one night, they didn’t have any fears, any concerns, any problems. It was like the whole world was perfect, right then and there. Everything I had wanted for my little ponies, the end goal of my life’s work, all of it. It existed for one fleeting moment. I was actually disappointed when the feeling ended, and when I found you I really had hoped that I might be able to replicate the mood.” “I think we can,” Bean replied softly. “Even if it’s not in the same way. I would love for everypony to have such a feeling, and I bet if we talk to Cadence and Pinkie Pie we can pull it off.” “Bean speaks the truth, Sister.” Luna added with a small smile. “Simply having a party tends to bring out much levity and mirth in our subjects already. Your formal wedding to Bean will be a moment they will remember always, and I believe it will be even more wonderful than my own.” “I hope not,” Celestia replied with her own small smile now. “I would much rather they be equal. But, you are both right. When we visit with Cadence I will let her know these things, and I’m sure some sort of plan can be made to bring out the best in our ponies.” “If those two can’t come up with something then I would fear the end is upon us.” Luna chuckled. “Your Highnesses?” Wysteria piped up from behind Bean. “I hate to interrupt but we do have quite a few petitioners waiting.” “I will meet with you both after moonrise,” Luna offered, “and we’ll review the Lieutenant’s plans. We will have a better idea of what to do once we have those.” “Sleep well, Sister,” Celestia offered with a smile and a quick hug. Sergeant Pokey then quickly approached Bean and Celestia while Luna walked away, and he had a sneaky smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Yes, Sergeant? What is it?” Celestia asked. “I have a visitor, ma’am, who is adamant about meeting with the Prince. She is threatening to break down the staff door if her demands are not met.” “Why haven’t you detained her?” Bean asked. “I felt it would be a very bad career choice to arrest Duchess Lima Bean, sir.” “Mom?!” Bean cried out in amazed happiness. “Baked?!” Lima’s voice carried into the hall. “Will you please come here? I could really use your help right now!” “Luna wouldn’t dare.” Bean glanced up at Celestia. “Would she?” “I very much doubt she’s being threatening, but you better go make sure,” Celestia replied through a giggle. “I can handle things here.” “Thanks, love you!” Bean shouted over his shoulder while he galloped over to the door. “Hang on, Mom!” * * ✹ * * “Are you sure we can stay in here?” Lima asked. “I would hate to be a distraction.” “Nah, it’s ok,” Bean replied while they both watched Celestia render judgement on a petition involving whether a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable. “There’s always ponies coming in and out. We’re fine.” “I hope so. Your new cutie mark looks good, by the way.” “Thanks. So what brings you by the palace, Duchess? I really was just expecting you to send a message back, especially given how busy you’ve said things are.” “Do you remember me telling you that you can have too much of a good thing?” she asked, and he nodded. “Well, that’s exactly what’s happened. Your father and I have been running our tails off trying to keep up with everything. We had to hire another cook and five waiters beyond what I told you in the letter, and we expanded our hours, but we still end up stuffed to the brim and we’ve been turning away ponies at the end of the night. Poor Grumps is fit to have a coronary, and even Sip is looking a bit ragged with all the overtime he’s worked.” “Huh. Are you still thinking of relocating?” “At this point it’s either that or we remodel and expand. Your father also debated if we should open a second location.” “That’s not a bad idea, really. You’ve said before that you wanted to open a place on Main Street. You have name recognition, and I bet a quick petition to the throne would get you a loan to get it up and running.” “The Princess would loan us money?” “She would recommend a few good places to get the bits, actually,” he replied. “It’s a rule that we don’t give out funds directly.” “Ah. I’ll talk it over with your father then. I personally would like to see the Zuerst remodeled, the interior is beginning to look dated and some new equipment would be useful, too.” “Perhaps you could do both. I really don’t think you’ll be lacking for customers anytime soon.” “No, I don’t suppose so.” Lima chuckled. “But that wasn’t the only reason I came. I wanted to see how you were holding up, how things are going. I worry about you, dear, and how you’re adjusting to everything. Are you sleeping well at night?” “Better than I ever have before,” Bean replied with a suppressed snort of joy as he thought about his most recent evening with Celestia. “And you’re still eating well?” “Yes, Mom,” he said with an eyeroll. “The chefs here are really good about portion control and variety.” “Good. I was worried you’d just start eating cake all the time.” “You know, I have yet to see Celly eat a slice of cake. Luna’s the one who gets into the stuff all the time.” “Really?” Lima asked with interest. “I had always heard it was Princess Celestia who loved cake. At any rate, you are still scrubbing behind your ears, right?” “Yes, I am.” “Let me see,” Lima demanded, and Bean let out a small shout of protest as his mother grabbed his ear and began inspecting behind it. “Mom! Seriously?!” “I don’t want my daughter-in-law to pick up some horrible parasite because my little Bean didn’t scrub behind his ears like he should.” “But you have to do this here?!” “Yes. Now quit squirming. You’re as bad as your father sometimes.” Bean did as he was told, but he wasn’t happy about it. He folded his arms tightly and grumped as his mother folded one ear back and forth in her inspection, and he groaned when she licked behind the other one and began scrubbing with a hoof. “Mom, this is embarrassing,” he protested. “We’re in Court right now, and you’re after non-existent dirt?” “Oh, there’s dirt here,” Lima replied and she began scrubbing harder. “You always did have a problem with behind your ears.” “Good afternoon, Duchess!” Celestia called out. “Is everything alright?” “If Baked would scrub behind his ears it would be.” she muttered. “I do.”  Bean glowered while folding his arms even tighter to emphasize his point. “I think that speck of dirt you’re trying to remove is actually a mole,” Celestia offered while walking up to them. “I’ve noticed it too and it hasn’t moved or changed at all.” “Oh.” Bean finally managed to twist away from his mother’s iron grip, and offered a fierce glare to the nearby guards who had been snickering the entire time. “I’ll keep an eye on it for you, if that would help,” Celestia offered. “I certainly want him to wash behind his ears too.” “Thank you, Princess.” “Great,” Bean grumbled. “I’m being ganged up on now.” “That’s the way these things work, Baked,” Lima replied with a chuckle she shared with Celestia. “It’s good to see you again, Duchess.” Celestia provided a hug that was gladly received. “What brings you to Canterlot?” “A few things, actually, but mostly concerns that my little Bean is behaving. If it’s alright, I would like to stay and return with you and Baked on Sunday.” “Of course!” Celestia and Bean replied happily in unison. “Good. Also, when you’re done with Court, I’d like to show you something.” Bean’s eyes shrank to pinpricks, and he let out a gasp of horror. “No, please no,” he pleaded in fear. “Not that.” “Not what?” Celestia asked, as she looked between them. “The Photo Album,” Bean whispered in dread. * * ✹ * * “...and this one! Ha! He’s only about 13 months old in this picture, I think. I still don’t know how he got up onto the counter, but I was finding flour in his diaper for weeks after that.” Bean groaned with an embarrassed smile as Celestia and Luna giggled at the antics of Little Baked Bean. Celestia was naturally interested in hearing all of the compromising and humiliating stories that her new mother-in-law had on her husband, and Luna had eagerly forced her way into Celestia’s library as soon as she had awoken and heard that Lima was present. Bean had made her swear on her moon not to take notes, but he was pretty extra sure her razor-sharp mind was recording all of these incidents for future use anyway. “My little Twilight did something like that once,” Luna remarked. “We had just harvested the spring wheat, and she somehow got into a sizeable pile of grain while we were helping to thresh and sort the chaff off. I was sure she would sprout a rather healthy crop in the dirt behind each ear, a fact I used to my advantage to ensure she scrubbed behind them.” “I didn’t know you had a daughter, Princess,” Lima said with a note of interest. Luna smiled with a glint of fond remembrance in her eye. “Twilight Starbright, yes. My Wee Rascal. She was smart, but always into mischief. I’m sure I only know about half of the pranks she pulled on poor old Starswirl, but she was always the first to jump in and help out with anything that needed to be done.” “You had braces?” Celestia asked while peering at another picture. “Ah, yeah.” Bean groaned. “Those things were the bane of my existence. I couldn’t wait to get them off.” “Do you still wear your retainer, Baked?” Lima asked. “No. I don’t need to,” he replied with a slight edge in his voice. “Yes you do. Doctor Smile Bright said you had to wear it for the rest of your life to overcome that tongue thrust that knocked your teeth out in the first place.” “Mom, I broke that thing a month after I got it.” “You did? Good gracious, son, we spent good money on those braces! Your mouth must be a mess!” “I think it’s just perfect,” Celestia whispered with a wink for her besieged husband. “Open up, let me see,” Lima demanded, and she clucked in disapproval when Bean complied. “Hmpf. At least you’re brushing good. This kid didn’t brush his teeth for his entire junior year. The root canal finally cured that.” Luna tried very hard not to chortle… well, not that hard. “I suppose it doesn’t look too bad in there,” Lima finally announced. “I assume you have access to a dentist, so you’d better get regular checkups and cleanings. I don’t want to hear about any cavities, all right?” “Yes, Mom,” Bean offered in utter defeat. “And you’d better make sure you see a doctor about your—” “I will!” Bean quickly interrupted. “Can we please not discuss that right now?!” “Fine, but just make sure you keep an eye on it,” Lima replied before chuckling slightly and turning her attention to Celestia. “Garbanzo and I had a few conversations about how we could best embarrass Baked in front of his special somepony.” “Naturally,” Luna replied in knowing tones. “But he really is a sweetheart at the core.” Lima smiled at her son, and he returned it to her bashfully. “And I’m glad he ended up here, with you. When Garbanzo sent him off to find himself, I was worried about what would happen to him. I thought his place was with us at the Zuerst, cooking. What if he ran into ruffians, or thugs, or what if some hussy bamboozled him out of the bits we’d given him? What if he got hurt, or lost, or couldn’t find something to eat? I just wanted him to be safe, and warm, and happy. I can tell he’s found all that with both of you here. He’s in good hooves.” “Should we tell her about your warm reception?” Bean asked Luna, and he snickered a bit when a hit of red flared on her cheeks. “Reception?” Lima asked. “Oh, it wasn’t that bad,” Luna replied in an attempt to recover from her embarrassment. “I simply threatened to execute him and then threw him against a wall. What sister-in-law hasn’t done that?” “Your aunt Sieva threatened to castrate your father when she met him,” Lima replied in a ho-hum tone. “And Grandpa Soy was extremely precise about how your father should treat me and the punishments that would be doled out if he did not. It’s really quite amazing that they didn’t run him off. I’m sure you were just letting Baked know that you would tolerate no shenanigans, right?” “Right! Exactly!” Luna agreed with an earnest nod of her head. “And he’s behaved himself, with a few exceptions, ever since then.” “Good. Now, Baked, are you getting out and exercising? You’ll go all flabby if you don’t get out and run a couple times a week, and we don’t need a flabby Prince.” “Are you sure you have to stay here until Sunday?” Bean asked in mock agony, but with a smile. * * ✹ * * “The north tower is the best room in the whole palace,” Celestia said to Lima while they exited the library. “You should be quite comfortable there. Just follow Sergeant Clover Leaf and she’ll make sure you get anything else you need.” “Thank you, Princess,” Lima replied with a smile and a yawn. “That’s very kind of you.” “It’s the least we can do for family.” “This’ll be the first time I’ve gotten to bed before dawn since your wedding, I think,” Lima replied with a chuckle. “I’m going to enjoy the quiet. Good night, Your Highnessess.” “Good night, Mom,” Bean replied. “We’ll see you in the morning.” “I should be tending to my duties as well,” Luna remarked as Lima and Clover walked away. “I bid you both good night and fair dreams.” “Good night, Lulu.” Celestia replied with a quick hug. Luna took a few steps away from them, but then stopped and glanced over her shoulder. “You both might want to try to keep it down tonight. If I can hear you in my room, then I’m sure Lima will be able to hear things that… well, you know. Those personal, intimate things that you might not want your mother to hear necessarily.” “You can hear us?” Celestia asked in shock as Bean went bright red and stammered in embarrassment. “Good evening, you two.” Luna then simply vanished in a swirl of her dark magic that Bean could swear left behind the sound of a mischievous giggle. “She can really hear us?” Bean asked. “That’s really mortifying if she can.” “I think she’s just kidding,” Celestia replied before giving him a kiss. “But just in case she’s not, I just happen to know a silencing spell.” “You are the greatest wife in the history of ever.” “Indeed I am,” she replied with a nuzzle for his ear. “And I fully intend to prove it, right here and now.” “Well, who am I to deny the Princess?” Bean replied softly. “Let us away, my dear.”