• Member Since 11th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen September 11th


Some people tell me I write stuff. I'm not so sure I believe them.


This story takes place during Season 5 of the show.

Out of everypony in Equestria, few have a life as mundane as Guy Pony, a window-washing earth pony with no dreams or aspirations whatsoever. Among his job, his friends, and his life alone, Guy's only area of notable interest lies with the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her five friends.

Inspired by their heroics in saving Equestria time and time again, Guy eventually decides to take a break from his mundane life and have some fun for once. What better way to do that than by introducing himself as a villain and antagonizing Twilight and Co. to no end?

Turns out, there are a lot of better ways than that, especially when he has little to no knowledge of what being a villain actually entails. But, well, that's what he's going with.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 130 )

Oboy this is going to end badly.

I relate far too well to Guy, internal dialogue included. Nice and crisp writing too, a good start to it all! Please, sir, I want more.

I like where this is going.

Well...here we go haha. Good luck Guy!

I enjoy the prospect of sheer annoyance.

Only two chapters so far and I already love the story so far. Keep the chapters coming. :twilightsmile:

This promise to be very interesting you may recieve some suggestions from readers, it certanly feels like we are pranking the girls XD, my two bits, i recommend put pinky on with it from the beggining, like pinky discovers what he is doing and wants in, pinky understand a good prank, and beeing a spy and part of the fun will work great when its revaled pinky worked with the villain from the beggining, and when all is over, she could vouch for guy not to go to jail, or we could put both to jail for the big pranks XD whatever you decide, also discordi would like to help him by giving him some interesting but harmlesd powers, he would love the little chaos, anyway, that was my suggestions XD.

Don't worry, I already have it all planned out. In fact, one of your ideas there might already be something I'm planning on doing.

Good luck guy

also really hoping for him to ring the doorbell and run away

This is going to be good.

"It all felt very homely."

The word you're looking for here is 'homey'. 'Homely' actually means unattractive.

....I remember there being a comic involving Trixie being challenged by Discord to come up with a dastardly plan, and she came up with the idea of stealing all of the sugar and flower to deprive everypony of their favorite desserts and sweets. While I imagine theft is something Guy would avoid, maybe that line of thinking could nudge him on the right path?

Assuming, of course, you didn't have such plans all planned out, of course.

EDIT: Didn't read the comments, derp. Still, for some reason this fic reminded me of the little stunt above and I hope that such shenanigans are in the cards.

Shit you're right, fixed stealthily so now no one will know what you're talking about.

Pretty interesting story set up you got going. I look forward to reading how this plays out:raritywink:

If Guy Pony was voiced, what would he sound like?

Oh shoot, it's the man himself. It seems that's what happens when I use such a generic name for the main character.

I'd like to imagine it as something like this: https://instaud.io/2kEZ

Yay, you updated! And you've got Twilight as the first victim haha, can't wait for more

Oh, this is really good. Please continue!

Morgan Freeman.

Imagine everything narrated by Morgan Freeman

You can thank me later.

How will this effect me ....


This is a fun read so far, keep it up.

"So, these books are all organized in a specific order, are they?" Guy oh-so-slyly said to himself. "Well, it would be such a shame if somepony were to... rearrange them out of order! "

To Twilight, that might as well be a cruel, barbaric, atrocious, vile, fiendish, diabolic, wicked, nefar—

Too many synonyms? Oh well – that might as well be an act of unusual cruelty.

"As of now, the sixth entry in the Daring Do series is officially titled 'Sixteen Ways to Please Your Coltfriend'!" Not even bothering to question exactlywhyTwilight had a book titled that, Guy slid the book into place and took a step back to admire his handiwork.

Well, Twilight supposedly does have a book for everything.

" AAH! " A very suddenly red-faced Twilight magically yanked the book out of Spike's hands before he had the chance to finish reading the cover. "That- that's not important right now! Something weird is going on, and we've gotta get to the bottom of it. Go check the other rooms to see if anything else is different."


Twiiiliiight, what are you hiiidiiiing?

Keep it up, this is a fun read and I was disappointed after reading all there was. Here's hoping I don't have to wait another month... :raritycry:

nice, can't wait to read what happens next!

Arson is a serious crime punishable by death at a time in history.

Pony name Guy.... poor, poor guy. :trollestia:

Guy's on the roll! Keep'em on their toes!

"Oh, you have got to be #%&@ing kidding me!"

I wonder what exactly he expected to happen when he lit fire inside wooden barn

The arson was a more serious twist to the story I wasn't expecting. Not sure how it'll keep the more light-hearted comedic tone it was originally aiming for after something like this happening. Was going to say I was enjoying the romp through semi villianhood but I guess time will tell, fire is no joke and we'll see how things pan out for the Apples and Guy.

Guy reminds me of the silver age comic villains who were more into making spectacles of themselves then doing anything truest malicious. And to be fair the Apple family barn has been destroyed like five or six times in the show, heck he may have done them a favor.

You make a fair point, and if it were happening in a more serious-toned world I would agree with you, but Applejack's barn has been destroyed so many times to the point where this isn't nearly as bad as Guy happens to think it is. I wouldn't be too worried.

That's a fair point really, I'd actually forgotten how many times it's been destroyed up to this point. I hope they have insurance on it, I'll bet their rates are horrible. Haha

And some years from now Twilight will open up a book, only the find a note between the pages saying "8=========] PENIS"

I've been looking for a story like this for so long, Thankyou!

thanks for the laugh!

Haha, looks like Guy managed to prank both Rarity and Pinkie in a single swoop. :rainbowlaugh: Guy had better be careful, he's starting to be seen more and more. Can't wait to hear about the barn burning incident later.

you chose an excellent thing to say considering your profile pic. it would be epic hearing it come out those mouths.

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