//------------------------------// // 33. - The Truth // Story: This Nose Knows // by Irrespective //------------------------------// “You are not my wife.” Bean glared at the Celestia imposter who had walked into the room with a full tray of food in her magic, despite the confused look she returned to him. It looked like Celestia, and it felt like Celestia. But there was no way that the pony who was gazing back at him with small tears in the corners of her eyes could be his Beloved. “What was that, my love?” she asked, and Bean doubled down on his furious look. Or, what he hoped was a furious look. “You. Are. Not. Celestia.” He was precise in his enunciation of the words. “Let me go, immediately.” Bean then forced himself up, and he bristled with defiance despite the pain that then surged out from his chest and down his leg. The imposter gasped with this action, and Bean worried for a moment that he’d upset his love by being so rash. “Oh, Bean, don’t do that!” she cried. “Please, lay down before you make your injuries worse. I can’t bear the thought of you being injured more.” “No.” He tried to say it with conviction, but he found that the emotional pain was just as bad as the physical. Celestia only cared for his well-being, after all, and she just wanted him to heal, so they could … Bean shook his head, trying desperately to dislodge the treacherous thoughts that were coming to him. This was not Celestia! This mare before him did not have his best interests in mind, and he needed to get away from her as quickly as possible. “Please?” the fake Celestia repeated, and Bean staggered a bit while the world began to twist and distort on him. Everything took on a greenish hue, and his knees began to give in to the softly spoken request. “I … I really shouldn’t …” Bean murmured. “My dear Bean, you are hurt, and sick. I want to take care of you. Please, lay down. I can take all of your pain away, if you will just trust me …” Bean wanted to listen. Everything in his system was telling him that he needed to relax, that he was being foolish and paranoid. If he would just follow his Beloved’s instructions, everything would be just perfect. He could rest, and his hurt would be swallowed up by her love. Bean closed his eyes to stop the vertigo, and he thought of his Celestia, the one he truly loved and cared for. He thought of her warm smile, and how her eyes would light up in delight when he would speak with her and share his ideas and his feelings with her. He could feel his own resolve being fortified when he recalled those marvelous moments he had spent with her, and in quick succession, he saw some of those moments flash before him. The memory of their trip to Neighagra Falls was filled with fondness, and the visit to the writer’s convention in Fillydelphia brought back a note of pride when she had assisted him in dealing with the Flim Flam Brothers. He happily recalled the calm peace he had felt during the Officer’s Ball, and a surge of joy came with the memory of their birthday celebrations. He then went back to their wedding day, or rather, their first wedding day, and he once again felt a calm serenity flow over him as he fondly recalled the touch of her wing as it had slowly draped over him and given him a small squeeze of reassurance. Tears of joy came to his eyes when he recalled the touch of her nose to his, and his conviction doubled with the thought of her smile. He would march into the middle of Tartarus itself and return just to be rewarded with her beautiful smile once more. That was his love, and that was his Celly. The power of her love swelled within his chest, and when he opened his eyes, there were no doubts in his mind. “I am Prince Baked Bean of Equestria, Beloved of Her Most Royal Highness, the Princess Celestia. I have sworn my love and my life to her and her alone, and I will not be turned from her for any reason. You will release me, and allow me safe passage back to her Kingdom. I will not be separated from her any longer.” Bean took one step forward, but the fake Celestia stood her ground and stared at him. “My love, I do believe you are suffering from some sort of delusion. I am your love, here in the flesh. Don’t do this to yourself. Perhaps once you have had something to eat, you will feel better.” “I will not be dining with you tonight,” Bean stated, and he began to move forward. “I am expected back at my home.” “No, you’re not.” The fake Celestia smiled while a surge of green magic lept from her horn. “You’re staying right here.” Bean didn’t falter this time, and he pushed through the evil magic with his head held high. “No, I am not. Step aside, now.” Celestia blinked once at him, then began to laugh. It started out as a low chuckle, but it grew in intensity, volume, and insanity, and just when Bean reached her position, a blinding flash of green eldritch fire forced him to stumble backwards and back onto the cushions where he had been. Bean remained defiant but also felt horrified when the skin of the impostor began to peel and flake, burning away in a surge of green magic and leaving a pitch black carapace in its place. Feathers exploded outwards and disappeared in a flash of fire, replaced with thin, perforated, translucent blue dragonfly wings, and the perfect ivory horn became a twisted, gnarled, and corrupted version of what it once had been. The magenta coloring of Celestia’s eyes gave way to a piercing green that held no love or mercy within their soulless depths. Bean instantly realized what he was up against, but he stood again and he snorted out his contemptuous acknowledgment of her name. “Chrysalis.” “Well, well. My dear little Bean has gone and spoiled the surprise.” the changeling queen gave a satisfied groan while she allowed herself a luxurious stretch. “But my natural form is far more comfortable that that overweight sun lover’s body, so I suppose I should thank you for figuring it out so soon.” “Release me, now,” Bean repeated. “I will not be your prisoner any longer.” “Prisoner?” Chrysalis again chuckled. “Oh, my dear delusional Bean! You are not my prisoner, you are my patient. I’m afraid you won’t be going anywhere until you injuries are healed.” “Injuries that you could be projecting on to me.” He swept a hoof across the room. “All of this is just as fake as you are, so how do I know you aren’t just brainwashing me into believing I am hurt?” Chrysalis cooed a bit while she began to circle her prey. “Do you really think you escaped your flight without injury? Go ahead, please! Try to leave this room.” Bean moved towards the unguarded door, but when his left rear leg attempted to move, he felt a stab of pain shoot outwards with enough intensity to buckle his knees and send him sprawling to the ground. “There, you see? You are at my mercy at the moment.” Chrysalis stepped back in front of the door, and with another burst of green magic, Bean found himself wrapped from neck to tail in some sort of green, slime-filled cocoon. “You should be grateful I saved you from being a messy yellow splat, you know. Those first two trees you hit were not very understanding to your plight. Had I not caught you then and there, you would have been dinner for a rather hungry chimera.” Bean grunted and struggled, hoping that the searing pain that was burning his leg off was being hidden by his efforts to escape. “I doubt you had my welfare in mind when you did so. This is a ploy to force me to bow to your whims.” “What?” Chrysalis put a hoof to her chest. “Perish the thought! As soon as you are healed, I fully intend to return you to that horrible wench you call wife. You do belong to her, after all, and I’m not that kind of a thief.” Bean narrowed his eyes while Chrysalis levitated the nearby wine bottle and two fluted glasses over to herself. “You can’t win, you know. The only way you could have gotten away with this is if you’d sent one of your changelings back disguised as me. Celestia will realize what you’ve done, and she’ll incinerate this hive when she comes to reclaim what is hers.” “Oh, I am counting on that.” Chrysalis filled both glasses to the rim, and she shrugged when Bean clamped his lips shut and twisted his head away when she presented one to him. “Though, given the fact that my decoy has fooled your wife for two full days now, I don’t think she’s being very observant. Perhaps my dear little drone is a better husband than you are?” “She will come for me once she uncovers your deception. Your minion is succeeding only because my Beloved is concerned for my well-being.” “You go ahead and tell yourself that.” Chrysalis took a slow sip from her own glass, then gave Bean a fang-filled grin. “But until she does discover the truth, you will be staying here.” “I’m not going to help you with whatever ridiculous scheme you have cooked up.” “Oh, I do wish you would reconsider that,” Chrysalis purred, and in a burst of green flame, Celestia stood before him again. “Consider what I can offer you. You want your Celestia? Here she is, ready and willing for you to take her into your hooves and kiss her passionately.” “You’re too big for me to take into hoof.” “Are you calling me fat?” “Yes.” There was no hesitation in his response. “Feisty,” Chrysalis said with a sultry smile. “I like it. But, consider for a moment that you have the equally seductive Luna living under the same roof as you, and you are a stallion. Hearts tend to wander, and the younger sister is dark and mysterious. With me, you can have her, too.” Another flash of fire came, and a perfect replica of Luna appeared before him, circling her bait with hungry eyes. “Don’t deny it, you have felt attracted to me, fair prince. I have been without companionship for over a thousand years, and my troubled world yearns for the calming touch that only a stallion can bring.” Bean stayed with his defiant, ‘won’t happen in a million years’ look, and ‘Luna’ chuckled. “There is yet more, my young stud. Perhaps two princesses are not enough for you? With me, you can have them and the young student.” Another flash, and Twilight Sparkle now whispered into his ear, though she had to stand on tip hoof to do so. “Mounting the Diarchs of Day and Night must be difficult for a stallion of your stature. With me, you won’t have that issue. You’ll be the taller one! Wouldn’t it nice to not have to struggle and strain just to have a good time? “Ah, but perhaps your heart secretly yearns for the forbidden, hmm?” she asked, and in a flash Cadence now stood before him. “I do a mean Cadence impersonation; just like her in fact. What would it be like to have the Princess of Love all to yourself? Don’t try to tell me you’ve never had that thought cross your mind.” Cadence’s hoof gently traced the edge of Bean’s jaw, despite him turning away from her as much as his bindings allowed. “I see it in your eyes, Baked Bean. You maintain the outward appearance of piety, but deep inside you’re just like every other stallion that has ever been. You’ll love Celestia until life becomes routine and dull, and then your heart will seek for that surge of pleasure that you used to feel. You will leave Celestia for another, sooner or later. But if you accept my terms, you can have any mare you want, whenever you want. Royal, common, purple, teal, pegasus, unicorn, or even griffon, if that’s what turns you on! I can provide all of that and more, far more than you can comprehend. Just say it, love. That’s all it will take.” Bean didn’t hesitate with his response. “I will not betray Celestia. There is nothing you can offer that would compare to the joy and perfect completeness that I receive from her, and even the length and breadth of your ‘kingdom’ is but a speck compared to her majesty. You have already lost, Chrysalis. The only question is how long you will persist in your futile efforts, and how many will be hurt in the process.” There was a pause, but Bean could tell he had gotten under Chrysalis’ chitin. There was a brief flash when the Queen again resumed her regular form, but her face kept a sneer of contempt. “Fine. I had hoped to avoid this, you know. I was trying to be nice, tending to your injuries and allowing you to feel Celestia again at your side; but I can just as easily move forward with my plans without doing so. I will not be so denied without punishing you.” Her mangled horn flared with magic, and Bean suddenly felt like someone was taking an oversized railroad spike and driving it into his forehead with every last bit of Rockhoof’s strength. He gasped, gagged, then cried out in pain while Chrysalis cackled in wicked delight, but she simply poured more and more magic into her spell, and she did not relent for several minutes. Bean let out a whimper when Chrysalis finally stopped, and every last inch of him felt like he had decided to take a leisurely stroll on the surface of his wife’s sun. He panted and gasped for air, and Chrysalis again traced his jawline with her hoof with a pleased and seductive grin. “I very much doubt that your wife will be able to stop me this time, Baked Bean.” Her tone was dangerously soft, and the malicious intent danced with glee upon her words. “You have managed to fight off my control so far, but you cannot do so indefinitely. Now that I am not restricted by pleasantries, that magical surge you were just allowed to enjoy will turn your brain into mush within a few hours. By the time your precious wife’s sun breaks over that eastern horizon tomorrow, you won’t know up from down or left from right, let alone your own name. You will believe me to be your dear Celly, and then I will quite happily return you to the real Celestia. “Then the real fun will begin,” she whispered into his ear. “You see, the magic I’m using to twist your thoughts is very much like a poison, one that can spread and infect others. You’ll toodle on back, oblivious to the fact that you were ever with me, and then the next time she weaves her magic in with yours, my humble little spell will travel the lines and corrupt her too. Just think of it! The great Princess Celestia, reduced to the intelligence level of a potato! Isn’t it just so delicious? Her own prince will be her downfall, and you’ll never know it!” “Princess … Luna …” Bean moaned. “Will be a minor inconvenience,” Chrysalis finished for him. “The last time I checked, she sleeps during the day. Subduing her will be like asking Celestia to eat a piece of cake. “Oh, and before you try to suggest that ponies will notice, I’m afraid I must destroy that little hope, too.” Chrysalis pulled back and licked her lips. “When Celestia is taken out, I will step in as her replacement. Don’t worry, I’ll have to keep her around to raise the sun and moon, of course; or, at least until I figure out how she does it. But if I look like her, talk like her, and have you by my side, who will question the truth that is right before their eyes? Equestria will be mine, and then it will be open season for my dear little drones. Your precious little kingdom will fall, and there is nothing you can do about it.” Chrysalis chuckled in glee while her goblet of wine again appeared, and Bean’s mind tried to work out a way to stop this horrible monster. He had to warn Chrys - Celestia, before she tried anything, but how? Bound in the cocoon as he was, he could not run, and even if he did break out, there were bound to be changeling guards around. What could he do? What options remained open to him? “You really should try the wine, love,” Chrysalis offered. “This will be the last time you will be able to truly appreciate the finer things of life.” Life. His life with Celestia was threatened. Celestia’s life was threatened. He had to do something. He mentally kicked himself, desperate to prevent the inevitable, and he shut his eyes so tightly that he saw little lights on the insides of his eyelids. But then a gloriously frantic thought came to him, and his eyes popped open. It was a long shot, and if Chrysalis had done any homework, this idea would shrivel up like a raisin. But it could work. He took a quick glance over his foe, but Chrysalis noticed and she preened a bit while he did so. “Oh, coming to your senses now, are we?” she asked, and she gave him a sultry pose to enjoy. “You have wings.” Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “An astute observation.” “You have a horn.” “I also have green eyes, Prince Obvious. What other physical feature would you like to point out?” “You are an alicorn.” Chrysalis laughed. “Oh, no. I am no mere alicorn, Mister Bean. I am a veritable goddess.” Bean forced out a smug smile. “How many times have we booped noses lately?” Chrysalis barked out a laugh. “I think my magic is melting your brain even faster than expected. What does that have to do with anything?” “If you’re an alicorn, then you are subject to the same law that forced Celestia to marry me. I guess since I’m already married, I don’t count, but have you bumped noses with anypony else recently?” The Queen of the Changelings’ expression soured instantly. “Explain yourself.” “I didn’t know the law applied to all alicorns!” Mandible protested, and he pawed at the invisible force that held him pinned to the wall by the throat. “I barely knew this law even existed!” “I told you specifically to make sure all the loose ends were tied up, Mandible!” Chrysalis slammed him into the floor and put a hoof on his chest. She was trying to sound threatening, but even she was having a hard time making out what she was saying from behind the thick steel wired muzzle she now wore. Besides, a little physical punishment tended to go a long way with her daft minions. Provided she did not “incentive” them into unconsciousness, of course. “All that time, and you couldn’t be bothered to look at the one simple, idiotic reason Celestia and that Bean are together?!” “Gurk!” managed Mandible from under the crushing foreleg of His Divine Queen. He managed to take a frantic breath when she relaxed her pressure slightly, allowing him to blurt out in one long burst of words, “Most ponies spoke of it like it was some sort of dusty old law that didn’t matter anymore. I couldn’t even find a version to read; the original is under lock and key and the copies are in the hooves of judges and lawyers. They taste awful,” he added. “I ask so very little of you, Mandible,” she purred in deadly tones. “A little love here and there, perhaps some undying loyalty, and the capacity to complete a job in its entirety,” she finished with a snarl. “You do realize that if that yellow stain in there is right, everything I have been working towards will be undone? Our hive, and any hopes you have of moving into upper lower mid-management will be burnt to a crisp when Celestia comes calling.” “But you should be fine, My Queen. It’s not like you’ve let your nose be touched by anypony, or anybuggy.” Chrysalis’ head snapped up, and one eye twitched. It couldn’t be. Fate wouldn’t dare to be so cruel to her. Swallowing the bitter pill of inglorious defeat in front of her whole hive when her wedding to Shining Armor had failed was bad enough, but that would be peanuts compared to this. “Nopony has touched my nose?” she repeated in a whisper, and Mandible glanced around the hallway for a convenient exit. “Yes, My Queen. I suppose you could just boop one of your drones and then marry them to be safe, but I wouldn’t dare to presume to be the one who should be so favored to be your husband.” “Sergeant Hokey Pokey.” Chrysalis’ eyes widened in horror. “He got me! His infernal nose touched mine when he came to warn me about Tirek! He’s the reason I’m losing my touch!” “He did?” Mandible asked, a confused and disappointed look on his face. “But how did he do that?” “Who cares how, you moron!” she thundered, and Mandible whimpered while he cowered before her rage. “If I don’t marry him in the next twenty four hours, I’ll lose all my magic!” “I don’t think the law worked that way, My Queen.” “Well, we don’t know for sure, do we?!” Chrysalis ripped the muzzle from her face and flung it at Mandible. “Somebug forgot to get the details! I can’t take the risk of that Bean being right! We have to go grab Pokey now! THORAX!” “My Queen?” Thorax replied from her right side, but Chrysalis simply lashed out and put him in a chokehold. “You will stay here and guard Prince Bean. Make sure he does not leave. Fail me, and I will mount you alive in a display case with the sharpest pins in existence. Am I clear?” “Crystal clear, My Queen,” Thorax gagged. Chrysalis dropped him, then turned back to Mandible. “You’re coming with me. We are going to fix this little problem you’ve created, and then I’m going to dip you in honey and stuff you head first into a fire ant hill. Maybe then you’ll learn how to see a job through to the end.”