//------------------------------// // 14. - Celestia's Birthday // Story: This Nose Knows // by Irrespective //------------------------------// Princess Celestia was having the most wonderful dream. In this perfect place, it was a bright, clear day, with nary a cloud in sight. A gentle breeze whispered across her well-brushed coat as she gently trotted among the multihued wildflowers of the meadow, and their fragrant delights were enhanced and magnified with the solid, rustic smell that came with the clods of earth her hooves tore from the ground. Such a place inspired calm relaxation and a deep pleasure from simply existing, and there was only one thing that could possibly make this place perfect. And since this was a wonderful dream, Baked Bean wasn’t very hard to find. He stood near the edge of a small, bubbling stream, with a smile and an eagerness for her to come to him that she was more than willing to fulfill. Celestia let out a whinny of delight that would be decried by the nobility as most unbecoming of a princess, moved up to a gallop to close the gap as quickly as possible, and she cleared the stream in one smooth bound. Both members of the lovestruck pair laughed with her antics, laughed more when she gently tackled him, and Baked Bean quite willingly joined his beloved in a furious round of ‘Kiss Your Love As Much As Possible.’ Soft giggles were shared once they finally separated, but Celestia found herself once again lost in his beautiful sea-green eyes, and the joy of pure contentment flooded every part of her, from snout to tail and from ears to hooves. “You know, I rather like these shared dreams,” Bean remarked with a kiss to her cheek. “Do these just happen, or does Luna have to be involved?” “Luna needs to link them, usually.” She gave him a quick nuzzle. “But if I understand her explanation properly, two dreams can spontaneously link when the two having the dream have deep connections to one another. You should be seeing a lot more of me in your dreams from now on.” “No way. I’m invading your dreams first,” he replied with a laugh. “Did you come up with this meadow, or was that Luna?” “This meadow is a recurring dream of mine, actually. Since I spend most of my days indoors, walking from meeting to meeting, I like to dream of times when I can just run and not worry about the cares of the day. When I am here, I can get a little dirt under my hooves without offending half of the nobility and worrying the population.” “I wonder if we could ever go camping sometime,” Bean mused aloud. “I mean, I’ve never been camping myself, but it always looked kinda fun. Just you and nature, you know?” “Mm, I like the idea,” she purred. “What else?” “A nice fire, maybe,” he continued while shifting and moving to snuggle into her side, “not so large that it burns you, but just enough to warm your coat and to cast a gentle light on the one you love. We could roast some marshmallows, and make s’mores. I’ve always wanted to try one. “And then we could snuggle together under a thick and billowy blanket, with your sister’s stars before us, and you could tell me about how she named the constellations and why she framed them the way she did. And then the lesson could move on to how you used those same stars to give directions to the first caravans, and how you opened up the eastern lands to trade and culture.” “That was a fun expedition.” Her wistful smile came with a wave of nostalgia that Bean could almost swim in. “But that story will take quite some time to tell.” “I would still love to hear it sometime. If I recall my history properly, you were rather influential in those proceedings due to your height.” Celestia’s laugh was slightly worried but mostly amused while she nuzzled Bean again. “I never did understand Hassan’s odd fascination with my legs. Please don’t tell me they teach about his infatuation in public schools too. I will need to make reforms if it is.” “Oh, a secret lover?” Bean waggled his eyebrows, but he received an amused scoff in return. “Hardly. I believe the modern term is that he had a crush on me. That ended rather ingloriously a few years later when I told him, in no uncertain terms, that I had no desire to join any harems. I found out later his fourteen ‘special someponies’ did not want any more additions either, and they were kind enough to send me a finely crafted ottoman as a thank you for rejecting him.” “An ottoman, really?” Bean remarked with a thoughtful look. “That seems like an odd gift to send to a pony.” “It was also a subtle warning from them that I was not welcome to visit again. Ponies do not have much of a need for such furniture, and they did not have much use for me.” “Ah. But I bet you accepted it gracefully, just because you’re awesome like that.” “I remember laughing quite heartily when I received it,” Celestia replied with an amused shake of her head. “It is just part of diplomacy. However, I do believe it is time for breakfast.” “Why do you say that?” “Well, the flowers are turning into coffee cups, for starters,” Celestia nodded to the field before them, and Bean snickered when he saw two or three steamy cups of caffeinated succulence pop in among the purple and blue blossoms. “I guess Luna made breakfast, then?” “Or you’ve begun cooking in your sleep,” Celestia teased with a quick nip of his ear. “But I would hope Chef Beet would intervene somehow, if that was the case.” “I wouldn’t trust myself around fire if I was asleep either,” Bean remarked with a laugh. “What do you think she made?” “Burnt toast, I’m afraid,” Celestia said with a wry smile. “Luna is not known for her cooking, but she insists on doing so for my birthday. I appreciate the effort she puts into it, and usually she provides copious amounts of jam to cover up her efforts.” “But what if she had help this year?” Celestia gave Bean a curiously amused look. “She does tend to show marked improvement when she receives assistance. What did you do?” “I offered a few suggestions, and I may have cooked a practice round or two with her over the last week.” “You little sneak!” she happily proclaimed. “I am most curious to see what you two have crafted for my enjoyment now. Shall we awaken?” “After you, my Love.” Celestia gave him one more quick kiss, and with some thought and a little effort, the Fields of Foalger drifted and faded from view. Waking from a lucid dream tended to be a little disorienting while one transitioned from one realm to the other. There was a slight falling feeling, then a tearing distortion of reality, and finally the odd notion that she was being stuffed back into her own body as she blinked herself fully awake. She found her sister to be right before her, with a wide grin and a large tray of breakfast that was ready and willing to be consumed. “Fair morning to you, Sister,” Luna greeted, “and my most hearty congratulations on managing to stay in synchronization with the revolutions of this world for another year.” “What? No.” Celestia stuck out her bottom lip. “This can’t be. I distinctly remember having a birthday last year.” “That’s the funny thing about birthdays, Sister. They do tend to be an annual thing.” “Thank you, Luna. And I see you made breakfast?” “For all three of us, provided your husband will deign to rise sometime this morning.” Celestia glanced down and chuckled at the sight of her still-snoozing husband. “He said he was going to wake with me. Here, I know how to speed this up, but you may wish to move the food.” Luna did so while Celestia took the tip of her wing and began tickling Bean’s nose. The effect was almost instantaneous: Bean’s muzzle scrunched up, a few sharp and halting inhales passed, and he began rubbing his nose furiously with his hooves with a fair degree of alarm. “Nyuh!” he groaned. “Not the food! Don’t sneeze!” “Good morning, Bean,” Luna offered in a sweet tone. “Sleep well?” “You know, I was coming,” he groaned with several sniffs. “I just wanted to try a cup of coffee first.” “You may try one here, and then we will have you run to Baltimare,” Luna replied. “That should take care of any side-effects you may experience.” “I’ll stick with just smelling it. I’ll get a nice contact buzz from that. So, what did you make, O Princess of the Night?” Luna gave a quick snerk to that. “I’m sure that my sister has warned you about my cooking abilities. However, a certain anonymous pony offered a few suggestions on how I could improve, and I believe that I have crafted a meal worthy of a Birthday celebration. “I shall begin with the beverage, since you have mentioned it.” Luna’s magic began to pour out a liquid that filled Celestia with the gentle, nostril-tickling warmth of those first spring days that came after a successful Winter Wrap-Up. “This is Brassage Noir et Riche, which your husband tells me comes from a small enclave found deep within the mountains of Neighpal, where a group of peacefully robed ponies have dedicated their existence to the secrets of the coffee bean. I am told it is a most robust and hearty drink, with subtle hints of floral and citrus notes. This is as black as my midnight, sister, but yet the flavorful aromas that wafted to my nose at the start of the brewing process should make this one of the most satisfying drinks you have ever enjoyed.” “I do not doubt that. I can already tell this is quite a bit richer than what we usually receive. And you say my beloved helped with this meal, yes?” “He offered a few suggestions, yes, but who better to help with beans than a Bean?” “Ah yes.” Bean gave a playful frown as Luna snickered furiously. “Never gets old, that one.” The conversation was interrupted when Celestia let out a low hum of complete satisfaction. “I remember this coffee. The delegation from Saddle Arabia brought some with them for the Summer Sun Celebration ten years ago, if I recall properly. I also remember it was well over five hundred bits per pound to procure the beans.” “Ah, they’ve come down in price then,” Bean remarked. “This batch was only four hundred eighty bits.” “A marked improvement, indeed,” Luna chuckled. “Mister Roast was both nervous and eager to try his hoof at properly brewing this batch, and he will be most pleased to hear he has succeeded.” “Indeed, yes. He has my compliments.” Celestia paused to take a deep whiff of the cup of near-perfection she held in her magic, and then her smile grew. “What else do you have?” “On the recommendation of both Chef Beet and Mister Bean, I have here what should amount to a delectable spread.” “You burnt toast again, didn’t you?” “I most certainly did not!” Luna huffed with a laugh. “I had help this year, sister. It will be normal toast, of course.” “Naturally,” Celestia laughed with her. “But with what else? You have something that smells amazing.” “It better be, or Mister Bean will have to explain his recommendations. I have gently poached onsen eggs, prench croissants raffine with zap apple jam and a beurre spread, and the aforementioned whole wheat toast, gently browned and drizzled with a special honey that came highly recommended from the Apiary Guild of Equestria.” “Oh?” Celestia’s magenta eyes looked down into her cup, the steam swirling and billowing atop the brew that truly was worth its weight in gold.  There was a hint of intrigue there that Bean and Luna could sense, but despite this she simply blew the steam aside a took a regal sip. “The A.G.E. has been trying to curry my favor for decades now with their gifts of honey. It will be of the highest quality, without question.” “Quite,” Luna replied while she began to plate the food for the intimate group. “Does it meet with your approval, sister?” “It always does, dear Lulu,” Celestia said with a smile. “Thank you. I am truly humbled that you would take the time and effort to prepare a meal for me, and I hope I can return the favor to you sometime.” “When is your birthday, Luna?” Bean asked. “It was four months ago.” Bean’s grin turned delightfully devious, and he leaned in close to his wife’s ear. “That means we have eight months to plan something spectacular, don’t we?” “Indeed, and I know all of Luna’s favorite foods. Perhaps the good Mister Bean would be interested in preparing a succulent meal of roasted eggplant and tomato casserole?” Luna gave Bean a rather eager look while her mane began to wave and flow with a bit more intensity. “If you do that, I might forgive you for that thing you did.” “What thing was that?” Bean asked. “You know. The… thing.” Bean shook his head while light laughter filled the room with a peaceful joy that could only be found in a setting as intimate as this. “Well, if it’ll get me off the hook for the thing, I might be able to do something with the request.” * * ✹ * * “I think I would like to rewind the sun for a few hours to enjoy that breakfast again,” Bean offered with a deep sigh and a pat of his slightly distended belly as they walked from the bedroom toward the throne room. “And may I observe that you do have the power to make it legitimate, my dearest.” The Prince smirked with a nod to the sun gleaming through the windows. “It is very tempting, but such a thing would be an egregious misuse of my position and responsibility. Even if it is my birthday.” She smiled with a wink. “Nevertheless, it was indeed a sumptuous meal, Lulu. You’ve outdone yourself.” “Here, here!” Bean agreed, looking to his prized—and only—pupil with a hint of pride. “I offer my most profuse thanks for your praise.” She gave a contrite bow. “Perhaps the stigma of my past culinary blunders shall be expunged?” “Time will tell in that regard. The legend of the Holly Berry Tort is still whispered about to this day,” Celestia chuckled. “That was you?!”  Bean exclaimed in whispered shock before his horrified expression crumbled under Luna’s icy stare into a smug smile. “With a name like ‘holly,’ one would think it would be meant for eating,” she replied while smirking a bit. “However, the hour grows early and I am tired. If I wish to join you for your ‘party’ later I will need some rest.”  With an extended dark wing, she hugged Celestia. “Happiest of birthdays, dear Sister.” Leaning into the affection, Celestia returned the embrace. “Thank you, Lulu. As always, it is made better with your company and love.” With the moment finished, Night and Day separated and proceeded down opposing directions of the hallway. “So… what would it take to get you to play hooky?” Bean asked, and he received a look from his wife that could only be described as ‘you are incorrigible.’ “I know you won’t, obviously, but I am curious as to what it would take.” “My mother warned me about stallions like you.” Celestia replied with a light laugh. “If I recall properly, we only have a half-day of scheduled events, so I shall save my day of absenteeism for another time. If we both work quickly, we should be done by lunch. “And then a party?” Bean asked, but then his ears folded back in worry when he saw Celestia’s demeanor droop slightly. “Or maybe not?” “Forgive me, I do not mean to worry you.” Celestia nuzzled him quickly. “It is difficult for me to have a party in the manner that you are anticipating. When Luna speaks of such, she refers to a small celebration that will include you, me, her, and Wysteria at dinnertime. There will be light refreshments, a small cake will be shared, and there will be nothing else but pleasant conversation and old memories, given my predilection to reminisce.” “And that’s how you would like to celebrate?” Bean asked with an effort not to push her. “It is. Oh, we used to have grand parties when I first ascended to the throne,” she replied with a distant gaze. “The day of my birth was a national holiday, and I would throw the most lavish party that I could. Of course, ponies from far and wide would be welcome to come, and there were always large meals, fancy desserts, and a mountain of presents for me to sort through.” “But then Nightmare Moon?” Bean asked gently, and Celestia nodded. “Obviously, my parties were not the sole reason she grew jealous of me, but it was one reason. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it again, with the knowledge that my frivolity had helped lead to her downfall. I flat refused to have anything to do with a birthday for fifty years following that, but my little ponies still wanted to celebrate in some manner, as is to be expected of a populace that loves their leader. I was forced to consider what was truly important, and what I really wanted for my birthday. It was a revelatory moment for me, really. I had become consumed with the material representation of love, but it was empty and hollow, with all of the form but none of the function. I realized that the greatest present that I had been given—the gift of family and true friends—was now gone, and I resolved to change it.” “So now we celebrate your birthday by going out and doing good deeds for others,” Bean remarked. “Indeed. I find great joy and pleasure in hearing of the good that is accomplished, and the new friendships that are forged. That is the true gift, because it will keep on giving for many years to come and it will be a present to far more than just myself. I issue the same proclamation for my birthday each year, and each year I find that my little ponies have acted upon my suggestions in a most admirable manner. Truly, there is but one present that could be greater than that.” “Oh, and what is that?” Bean asked with an excessively smug grin. “To have the love of a certain yellow stallion as my own,” she said with a kiss for him. “That’s what I thought you would say, and it’s a gift I am more than willing to share.” “And I shall treasure it always,” she said with a nuzzle. “But if we wish to have the afternoon free, we should move swiftly to complete the work that must be done.” “I suppose so. But, now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve seen Wysteria all morning.” “Nor have I, and that is a bit strange,” Celestia remarked with a touch of worry. “I hope nothing is amiss. Sergeant Pokey?” “Ma’am?” Bean gasped and put a hoof to his chest. “All right. Either I need to get used to the fact that you guys can show up out of nowhere, or you need to stop doing that. I’m going to have a heart attack one of these days with you dropping in out of nowhere.” “You’ll get used to it, sir,” Pokey said quickly. “What can I do for you, My Princess?” “Do you happen to know if Wysteria came in to work today?” Celestia asked. “I have seen here around, but she didn’t look well, ma’am. The last I saw she was near the kitchens.” “I’ll go check on her,” Bean offered. “That way you can get started in the office.” Celestia had a slightly displeased look, but she nodded. “Very well, but if she is ill make sure she is escorted home. She’s a stubborn mule sometimes, and I don’t want her suffering if she is feeling unwell.” “I’ll make sure it happens, ma’am,” Pokey replied with a quick salute. “I’m sure Corporal Quillpoint would be pleased to assist her.” Both Bean and Celestia snickered at that. “Doubtless. Thank you, Sergeant.” Pokey simply nodded to this, and Bean fell in next to him while Celestia walked towards the ever-plentiful paperwork. “So, what do you think, Pokey? The flu, a cold? Pony Pox?” “It looks something like the flu to me, sir, but I couldn’t say for sure. I know she’s had a couple of ponies suggest she get checked out, but she’s rebuffed them so far with her usual ‘too much work to do’ excuse.” “Huh. Is Doctor Horsenpfeffer available?” “She is, sir. I believe she has also been notified of the situation, but I’m not sure if she’s made contact with Wysteria yet.” “Well, maybe I can talk Wys into a quick visit. I might not be able to get her to go home, but at least we’ll know if we need to limit contact.” “Agreed, sir.” “By the way, how was your night out last night?” Bean gave a quick bob of his eyebrows, and Pokey smiled slightly. “It was nice, sir. We spent most of the time at the Phoenix Fire, and we talked about all of the usual things a guard talks about after hours.” “Nothing too bad about myself, I hope.” “Not at all, sir. In fact, I have just put in the paperwork to make this posting permanent, as has Sergeant Clover. If it is approved by the Captain, you’ll be stuck with us.” “Oh, how horrible,” Bean replied with a wide smile. “And what about Private Lemon Tart?” “She’s doing well, sir. With a bit more training, she should be one of the fastest flyers in the guard.” “Even faster than you?”Bean said with a smirk. “That’s why I said ‘one of’ instead of ‘the fastest,’” Pokey replied while the rounded a corner and found another guard in the hallway. “Corporal Quillpoint!” “Sir!” “Have you seen Miss Inkwell?” “Down by the kitchen, sir. She was hoping some toast would help to settle her stomach.” “Thank you, Corporal. Carry on.” “Why am I not surprised to find that he’s the one who knows where she is?” Bean quipped, and Pokey chuckled slightly. “I’ll put it this way: he has no desire to change his assignment, sir. They’ve been going pretty steady ever since they returned from the Sandwich Islands.” “Does that create a conflict of interest at all?” “Not as of yet, sir, but it could. Thankfully, there are protocols and procedures in place if their relationship does become more serious.” “Good. He’s an outstanding guard, I’d hate to lose him.” “So would I, sir, but Quill has a good head on him. He wouldn’t have started the relationship if it put his career in jeopardy.” The two chatted more while they walked, but they didn’t get very far before finding Wysteria. She happened upon them while walking down an adjacent hallway, the ever ready clipboard in hoof, but Bean could tell instantly that she was miserable. Her mane was fraying out of a loose and sloppy bun, her glasses were slightly askew on her muzzle, and her eyes looked bloodshot and baggy. “Wow, Wys!” Bean couldn’t help but exclaim. “Are you all right?” “I’m fine, sir,” she replied in a most unconvincing manner. “I apologize for running late, but before you say it, I’m feeling better than I was an hour ago. Just give me a little more time and I’ll be as good as ever.” “Um, if you say so,” Bean remarked with a wary look. “Are you sure you don’t want to go check with Doctor Horsenpfeffer real quick?” “No, no. This is just a bit of food poisoning, nothing more.” Bean snorted at that. “This is not food poisoning, Wys. You wouldn’t be upright if it was.” “Really, sir. I’m fine.” “If you insist. Sergeant, why don’t you run back and let Celestia know we found her?” “I will, sir,” Pokey replied with a subtle wink before trotting away. “Now, since I have you, I have a request to make,” Bean turned back to the secretary who was beginning to sway slightly. “What do you need, sir?” Bean was beginning to wonder if she was going to faint on him, and he shifted his weight so he could catch her if needed. “I’d like to take Celestia camping.” “Camping?” Wysteria smiled weakly. “Heh. That might be amusing. When did you want to go?” “Soon, perhaps even tonight.” “Tonight?” Wysteria replied. “Oh, no. There’s no way we could do it tonight. I’d have to clear a camp site, and I’m sure we don’t have any tents or other gear that would be appropriate for you and the Princess. Now, if you can give me a week or two, I might… uh, I might…” Wysteria’s cheeks bulged out with a squelchy hurk noise, and before Bean could say anything she made a mad dash for the nearest potted plant. Bean tried to respectfully ignore her while the poor ficus was introduced to Wysteria’s limited breakfast and previous evening’s meal, but it was a bit hard not to due to the length of said introduction and the rather unpleasant noises that accompanied it. Once she finally finished her unexpected and unwelcome experience, she groaned and wiped her mouth with a hoof while turning back to the Prince. “Wys, I—” “Don’t.” Wysteria held out her hoof to silence him, and Bean retreated back a step in mild disgust. “Just don’t. I’ll go see Horsenpfeffer.” * * ✹ * * Bean stood quickly when Wysteria emerged from the infirmary with Horsenpfeffer giving her a cheerful farewell. There was a look of deep trouble and concern upon the faithful secretary’s face, and even Bean could tell that she was plagued with something more than just a flu bug. “So, what did you find out?” He tried to ask as gently as possible, but Wysteria didn’t meet his gaze. There was an exceptionally long pause, and when she did finally answer, it was in no more than a whisper. “I’m pregnant, sir.” Bean felt a little jolt of joy run through him at the news, but he held back from giving any outward show of such. Clearly, Wysteria was not feeling the same way about the situation. “You’re pregnant?” he repeated. Wysteria gave him a fierce shushing with a hoof in his face. “Not so loud, please?! I can’t let this get out!” “I don’t think this is something you can hide, Wys. Sergeant Pokey was telling me that most of the guard could tell something was going on.” “What am I going to do?!” she asked him in a crescendo of horror. “I can’t have a foal! My career, my prestige! I can’t do my job with a little one underhoof! I’m going to have to resign, and then figure out how to care for it, and—” “Wys, you’re not going anywhere.” Bean cut off her hysterics with force. “I’m sure accommodations can be made, and Celestia will be more than happy to hear this. She would love to have a little foal running around.” “How am I supposed to take care of my duties and the needs of the Princess?!” “I’m sure we’ll figure it out,” he replied with a small smile. “You’re too valuable to lose.” Wysteria’s eyes went even wider, and her irises shrank to pinpricks while she finally met Bean’s gaze. “Oh, sweet Hasbro above! What is Quill going to say to all of this?! He’s going to freak out!” “He’s the father?” “He has to be!” she nearly shouted, and she began pacing across the hallway. “This must have happened back when we were on vacation, during that night. We’d both had several coconuts, and when I woke up the next morning, I…” She didn’t complete the sentence, but Bean didn’t need her to. “What am I supposed to tell him?! ‘Guess what, Corporal? You’re a father!’ Oo, I don’t even know what he’ll do, or what he’ll say, or if he’ll just go AWOL on me, or—” “I don’t think he’d do that.” “But you don’t know for sure, and neither do I!” she wailed in anguish. “I thought you’d been seeing him for quite some time now. Do you really think his reaction will be negative?” “I don’t know, and that’s just it! We don’t know anything about each other! I mean, we talk, yes; but all we’ve ever done is make fun of snooty nobles and talk about his training, and maybe a little about my time in court. I don’t even know if he has brothers or sisters, or where he’s from, or what his favorite type of potato is, or if he likes water wisterias—which he’d better like them, because those are my favorites—” “Wys, woah!” Bean put a hoof on her shoulder to stop her rant and her pacing. “Deep breaths, okay? I’ll help you figure this out, but you’ve got to calm down. Your health and the health of your foal is paramount right now.” Wysteria did so, but she still retained her air of panic. Once she had gotten back to something resembling normal, she dipped her head and sniffled back an angry tear. “I’m so stupid. How am I going to tell him?” she hissed to the ground. Bean shrugged. “He’s going to find out eventually, so the sooner, the better. Just walk up to him when he’s out of earshot of anypony else, look him straight in the eye, and say, ‘I’m pregnant.’” Confetti burst into the air, the sound of a trumpet fanfare erupted from a dozen mice with cornets, and Discord floated down to the ground by way of a ‘Congratulations Baked Bean’ banner he used as a parachute. “Bean, you sly dog you!” the draconequus exclaimed before thumping him on the belly like a ripe melon. “I thought you were showing. What are you having? Personally, I’m hoping for a zebra or a seal, but if you are having just a plain pony baby, that’s fine too. If a little bland and boring,” he added. “Wysteria is pregnant,” said Baked Bean flatly. “Both of you!” gasped Discord. “This is wonderful!” “No, this is all your fault!” Wysteria shouted and snorted. Discord held up his hands, just in case he needed to protect himself from a snarling, flying leap. “Don’t blame me for your actions, Wys,” he countered. “I warned you that I wasn’t going to be able to supervise. I didn’t force those Piña Coladas on you, nor did I make the choice to stay out on that beach. You did that all on your own.” “But if you hadn’t sent me to that infernal island—” “This would have happened anyway,” Discord replied. “Here or there, you would have made the same choice eventually, and you know it. You can blame me all you want, but we both know you were craving your Quill something fierce.” Wysteria wanted to give a proper rebuttal to his point, given her irked expression, but when her mouth opened, it rapidly became apparent that she had none to give. “Did you come here just to say that,” Bean interjected, “or was there another reason for your visit?” “Well, I was coming here to wish Celly a Happy Birthday, so this is just icing on the cake,” he replied with a snorting laugh. “Why don’t you go tell her that while I get Wysteria taken care of?” Bean offered. “You two can talk things over once we take care of the more immediate problem.” “Fine.” Discord huffed, but then he picked Bean up and hugged him tightly. “But congratulations again! You put me down for your baby shower at my place in a couple of months. I’ll get a pool going on what species you’re having, with five bits towards shark. I’ve always loved those toothy grins they give!” “Six bits on zebra for me. If, for some odd reason you’re right, I think I’d like to keep it to the same Genus as myself.” “Fair enough. Tootles!” Bean sighed while Discord disappeared. “If he is right…” “Doctor Horsenpfeffer will have a field day, and I think the Princess might be a bit jealous.” Wysteria offered with a soft laugh. “I wouldn’t worry too much, sir. You’re not equipped to handle a foal.” “In more ways than one,” he offered a scoffing laugh. “So what do we do with you?” “Just… give me some time, sir. I will tell Quill, but I need to figure out how.” “I can do that. But remember that I am here to help you out, and so is Celly. We’ll help you out however we can with this.” “Thanks,” she replied, and then she gave a thoughtful sigh. “I’m going to need it. If Quill abandons me, I don’t know how I’m going to be able to do this.” “Even if he does, we won’t,” Bean replied with a quick hug of reassurance. “That’s the one thing I’m sure of.” * * ✹ * * “Luna?” Bean tapped on her door gently. “Are you awake?” The door swung open, and Bean reflected Luna’s smile back to her. “I am, and I do believe it is time for a party.” “Good. I think we could use one right now.” “Oh? Have I missed out on yet another piece of critical news due to my nocturnal habits?” “Yes and no?” Bean weakly offered. “I didn’t think it was something we needed to wake you up for. Wysteria is pregnant.” “Oh.” Luna blinked once. “I take it she made the announcement recently?” “Considering she just found out herself this morning, I’d say yes.” “Your tone indicates that she has been less than pleased to discover this.” They both began walking while Bean nodded. “Yeah, she’s freaking out. Celly sent her home for the day to rest and to sort out what she needs to do now. We’re both happy for her, of course, but I think she’s slipping into a depression.” “It will be a challenge for her, should she choose to keep the foal.” “She’s definitely keeping it,” Bean offered with a smile. “It would seem the good secretary feels responsible for the care and upbringing of this life she has created.” Luna nodded. “But then adjustments will naturally need to be made. When I see her, I shall offer my reassurances and my personal commitment to her continued employment. She is nearly irreplaceable, and I believe she can perform her duties as secretary and as mother with equal effectiveness. In truth, her duties as secretary may even prove advantageous, as she seems to be the kind of first mother to fret excessively over the trivia of gravidism. In any event, untold millions have trod the path she has just begun with little or no preparation. I am quite certain she will be up to the task and then some.” “That’s just about what Celly said, too.” “And I am sure she is as serious as I am. Now, may I safely assume that my sister awaits us in her drawing room?” “You may indeed. I have dinner all ready to go, the cake and the other treats will be brought in once we’re done, and a courier dropped off your present a few hours ago.” “Good,” Luna’s smile grew wider. “I believe she will enjoy it immensely. I have quite the present planned for you as well.” “Oh, really? I bet I can guess.” “You think so?” “Yup. You’re going to get me a stock pot.” “That is a lame present.” Bean scoffed. “Are you kidding? The only thing I’ve ever gotten for my birthday is various cooking supplies. Last year, for example, I got a peeler, a vegetable scrubber, a knife set to replace my worn out ones, and a set of measuring cups.” “Will any of that end here at some point?” “Nah, they’re of no use to me now. Might as well leave them with my parents and let them be used.” “I see. I can assure you that my present is not cooking related.” “This will be a very interesting birthday, then.” He gave a soft chuckle. “You aren’t planning on throwing a party for me, are you?” “There may be something in the works,” she offered with a sly grin, “and I hope you are more willing to have an actual party than my sister is.” Bean’s ears folded back in worry, but he did not offer a reply. Luna, however, seemed eager for a response, so when none came she let out a frustrated breath and stopped where she was. “All right, Bean, let’s settle this here and now. You do not need to walk on eggshells when the subject of my betrayal comes up, or my life before it. I fully admit to being consumed by jealousy over my sister, but such a thing will not happen again. I have had a thousand years to learn my lesson, and it is one I have ensured I will never forget. You make speak of my treachery as openly as you wish, for I will always do so in warning to others. What has been done is done, and while I take no pride in my actions, I will accept them and accept the consequences for them. Celestia did what she had to in order to stop me. I hold no ill against her, nor will I ever.” Bean nodded slowly while he took this all in. “Can you forgive me if I still hesitate when we mention it? I know I wouldn’t like it if ponies kept pointing out my cooking blunders.” “I can accept that, but please remember that you will not cause harm by speaking of it. I was Nightmare Moon, just as you are Baked Bean. I will forevermore be willing to accept that fact.” Bean took a moment to think this over as they began walking again, and it was clear he had a question that was begging to be released. “Did Star’s… passing, uh, push you over the edge?” “No. In fact, he actually prevented it,” she replied while they began moving again. “His love undermined my loneliness, and though I grieved at his loss I rejoiced in our life together, and that kept my jealousy and anger at bay for a time.” She gave a soft chuckle, and she shook her head while appearing to remember something. “You know, I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times he warned me and tried to change what would happen. He had a saying, the meaning of which was lost on me until my redemption: ‘all ponies see the light from where they stand.’” “That’s an interesting phrase.” “But very true. When a pony stands in darkness, they naturally yearn for the light. Light provides comfort, it dispels shadows, and it brings a sure knowledge of what was once unknown. In the early days of Equestria, there was much to fear in the darkness of night, and since the night was my realm, I was something to fear. From where they stood, the light of Celestia provided a deep and abiding comfort. If I could have taken my beloved’s words to heart, I would have seen that ponies would have eventually seen my light, once they could stand in my dark with peace.” “The light that we can all see now.” Bean gave a deep smile. “I don’t know how many times I’d just stand outside after a frustrating day of failures and admire your stars. They always seemed to know, somehow, that I was hurting. They always spoke calm reassurances to me when there was no other comfort.” “And yet, you married my sister,” Luna gave a hearty chuckle. “I could almost accuse you of being flirtatious with such language.” “Hey, I can love Celly and still admire what you do. There’s no harm in that.” “No, there isn’t,” she replied with a deeply satisfied smile. * * ✹ * * “So, did Discord stop by?” Bean asked while he gave Philomena a gentle scratch under her beak. “He did, but then he said he had some dishes to unwash.” Celestia gave a bemused shake of her head. “He did leave a… well, a rather ‘unique’ present.” “That is a gross understatement.” Luna tilted her head and tried to comprehend the splotches of paint on the canvas before her. “I suppose we file this one under the category of ‘surreal?’” “I will never understand modern art,” Bean added while he looked over the ‘gift’ and tried to make sense of it. “I believe it is an acquired taste,” Celestia remarked. “However, I thanked him for it and he seemed pleased when I mentioned that I would have it hung in the Gallery at the School for Gifted Unicorns.” “As long as he’s happy, I suppose.” Bean shrugged. “Indeed. However, let us move on to a happier topic, shall we? I have been smelling something absolutely delectable ever since you both walked in here, and I am now famished. What did you cook for us, my Love?” Bean smiled, and he moved back to the cart that held his creation while Luna and Celestia settled in on the cushions around the table. WIth quick and sure movements, he distributed three domed dishes of food, and the Royal Sisters both began to salivate. “I figured we wanted to keep dinner light, so that there would be room for cake and dessert later, so my offering is a bit simple but very worthwhile.” He smiled and lifted the domes off of the alicorn’s platters. “I have prepared for your enjoyment a quinoa stuffed acorn squash, a delicately curried parsnip soup and an endive salad with plums and apples. I think you’ll find the plums blend quite admirably with the red leaf lettuce, and the parsnip should add just enough sweetness to make everything pop. Please, enjoy! I would love to see what you think.” “If this tastes half as good as it smells, you’re going to ruin my perception of fine cooking forever,” Celestia offered as she gently spooned out a sip of soup with her magic. “This can not be anything but divine.” “Let’s see what you think when you actually try it.” Bean offered an amused chuckle while he exposed his own meal. “Then we will render a final judgement.” “This is acceptable,” Luna remarked after having sampled a bite of everything before her. “I do like the texture and the smoothness of the soup, and the quinoa adds quite the pleasant crunch.” “Thank you,” Bean offered with growing glee. “And you, my love?” “I will echo Lulu’s sentiments. This is a meal that is most appreciable in flavor.” “Glad to hear it,” he replied. “Perhaps I’ll add a bit more basil next time. That might help kick it up a notch.” “Perhaps.” The three royals shared some small talk as they ate, and Bean was given a grand retelling of the Birthday that Almost Wasn’t, a rather dubious affair where Luna nearly convinced her parents that Celestia’s eighth birthday had come and gone, thus leading to a near total breakdown of Celestia’s self-control. She had been calmed only after her Father had taken her aside and reassured her that Luna had not sold her story as well as she’d thought, and a pleasant family party was shared that evening, after Luna had apologized. When the last few bites of the meal were ready to be consumed, Bean stood and excused himself to procure the cake and birthday treats, and both Sisters had offered a demure nod while he did so. As soon as the door shut, however, all decorum was bucked into next week, and pleased grunts of pleasure rumbled out of both Princesses while they quickly devoured the rest of their meals. “Sister, this is pure ambrosia!” Luna remarked around the food she had squirreled away in her cheeks. “I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything else again!” “He’s mine, and his cooking skills are mine,” Celestia greedily replied. “You can’t have him, no matter how much you beg.” “Pease?” Luna whined with a small pout. “At least let him make that eggplant casserole. I haven’t had a decent one in over a millennia.” “Oh, all right.” Celestia smiled and dabbed at the corners of her mouth with her napkin. “I suppose I can let him cook one more meal, just for you.” “Huzzah!” “I didn’t realize you wanted cake that badly,” Bean quipped. He had entered without a noise, and in his hooves he held a delicious-looking white single tier cake that was surrounded by an assortment of sweets that had either been covertly purchased from Pinkie Pie or would certainly make her jealous with their existence. “Did you make the cake too?” Celestia asked while only slightly salivating at the offering Bean had brought before them. “I did, but don’t expect too much out of this. I took too long with dinner, so this is just a simple sponge cake with a lightly whipped frosting.” “And the rest of it?” Luna asked. “A small gift from Sugarcube Corner in exchange for a recipe to make rhubarb smoothies. Pinkie is convinced it will be a huge hit, if she can market it properly.” “You seem to have forgotten something,” Luna replied with a sly grin. “There is a definite lack of candles on that cake.” “Yeah. I always heard females were sensitive about their age, so I figured Celly would not appreciate having one thousand, two hundred and twenty five flammable reminders all at once. Chef Beet also refused to let me use her blowtorch to get such a large group of wax alight. I fear we will just have to pretend for this year.” “But there must be at least one candle,” Celestia offered while her magic summoned a small, pre-lit white one, “in order for this to be a proper birthday cake. Besides, how else can I make my birthday wish?” “How indeed,” Luna gave a soft laugh while the candle was placed in the center of the cake. “So, what will you wish for, Sister?” “Alas, according to the Treatise on Birthday Wish Fulfilment, Volume 9, I am unable to reveal such, for in so doing I will nullify the desired effect.” Celestia smiled deeply while Bean settled in under her wing, and once he was comfortable she gently blew out the candle. “However, I believe I can safely say that my wish involves both of you, my life, a rather lengthy amount of time, and a large grouping of cheerful feelings, in no particular order.” All three of them laughed at her remarks while Luna sliced the cake and served a sizeable portion on paper plates. She then floated over a respectably large box to her sister, who took it in hoof with delight. “You didn’t have to get me a present, Lulu.” “When I saw it, I knew I had to. Go ahead.” “You didn’t gift wrap it,” Bean noted. “I didn’t want to make too difficult for old and creaky mares to get into.” “Har har, Sister.” Celesta opened a flap on the box with her magic, but then she slammed it back down with a hearty laugh. “What did she get you?” Bean asked, and Celestia opened the box fully. Bean laughed when the item inside floated out. Luna had, somehow, found a stuffed toy version of himself, with bright glass eyes, a soft, velveteen coat and a dopey grin, and Celestia cuddled it in her hooves while her wing hugged the real Bean a bit tighter. “Oh, I love him! He’s so soft, and plush. Almost as good as the real thing. Thank you, Lulu.” “You are most welcome. I figured the stuffed version could keep you company if the real one is ever called away on a diplomatic matter.” “I certainly hope that does not happen, but if it should then this will be a substitute, but only a fair one. The real thing will always be far superior.” Bean giggled while Celestia booped him, and he could feel his reservoirs of contentment begin to overflow. What else could he ever want out of life beyond what he had, right then and there? “Happy Birthday, my dear Celly,” he cooed to her. “And here’s to many more with you,” she replied with soft delight. * * ✹ * * “Cady? You coming to bed sometime tonight?” Shining called out. Light purple eyes rolled in their sockets, and Mi Amore Cadenza offered a silent sigh while she finished swishing her mouthwash. Her doofus was being a doofus again, and she couldn’t help but love his teasing tone. “Do you want me to come in there with garlic breath?” she threatened after spitting. “Good point.” “You did brush your teeth, right?” she asked while she tied off her favorite fluffy robe. “Uh, yes?” “Fine. No kisses for you.” “Aww!” Shining protested, and Cadence laughed while she entered the bedroom proper. “What if I chew some gum real quick, would that work?” “It’s better than nothing,” she retorted, but then both of them gave a small gasp when a tightly-rolled scroll appeared in front of Cadence out of nowhere. “Rather late for a message, isn’t it?” Shining observed. “Well, Aunt Celly has been busy with her birthday,” Cadence replied while her magic snagged and unrolled it. “She’s probably just sending back a reply to my happy birthday message, and…” Cadence stopped. Her eyes darted back and forth over the words quickly, and Shining felt a small amount of concern mix in with his happiness. “Everything alright?” he asked after a moment, and he felt his smile grow when he saw hers spread quickly across her face. A squee of delight then erupted with almost enough love and happiness in it to power the Crystal Heart by itself. This lasted for a good five to six seconds, and then Cadence flipped the scroll around for Shining to see while she began to prance in place. “Wysteria is pregnant, Shiny!”