//------------------------------// // 25. - Preperations // Story: This Nose Knows // by Irrespective //------------------------------// Baked Bean had wondered, once, what it would be like to feel no emotion. The idea had entered his head after one particularly taxing night at the Zuerst. Everything he had touched had turned into failure and ruin, and had ran the gamut from sending out a mixed-up order for the Mayor and the visiting Chancellor of the Equestria Education Association to breaking the new dishwasher and being scalded by boiling hot water when the hoses had burst. He had wondered back then if the hair on his right hock would ever grow back, and he had sworn vengeance if he ever ran into those two shady salesponies again. He had been sitting on his bed when the query had presented itself. What would his life be like if he could divest himself of all feeling? What would change, what would be impacted? Would he be able to do anything at all, or was the willingness to work an emotion, too? As he strode into the hangar and watched a carriage loaded with nobility take off, he briefly reconsidered the thought. He wished he could act without emotion at this precise moment. “Sir!” Pokey saluted, then fell into step with him. “Your carriage is waiting. Sergeant Clover and I will take you to the safe house, and—” “Belay that, Sergeant,” Bean ordered, but then he shrunk a bit. “I can tell you that, right?” “Yes, sir. Clover informed me of the change in plans. What are your orders?” Bean hesitated while he watched Prince Blueblood hustle Lady Chrysanthemum and then himself into a chariot. Bean could see the terrified horror in Blueblood’s eyes, and in that brief moment, he realized that Blueblood was running scared. He could care less about what might happen to Equestria, or to those who were tasked with protecting it. His thoughts were focused in on a singular thought: life - specifically, his own life - above all else. Bean realized he could choose the same, and for a moment, the idea had some allure. Bean could reverse his choice, and still go to the safehouse. Smashing the stained-glass windows would delay Tirek long enough for Twilight to make whatever plans she needed to. All it would take was a word, and he would be guaranteed to live another day. “We do what we can to stall Tirek,” Bean replied to Pokey while Blueblood’s chariot took off. Bean might live if he ran, but he would never fully feel alive again if he did so. “I’ve got some ideas we can try, but I’m open to suggestions, too.” “You’re serious about this, sir?” Pokey replied. “There is no shame in following the Princess’ orders. Nopony expects you to fight.” “I expect me to fight,” Bean said softly, and he stomped one hoof. “If I am a prince of Equestria, I’d better be acting the part. Where is Trixie?” “BEHOLD! The Great and Powerful Tr-r-rixie!” Bean smiled and shook his head as all eyes turned to the entrance to the hangar. Trixie had struck her greatest showmare pose, her flowered collar having been discarded for her preferred star-studded hat and cloak which fluttered on a magical breeze. She then strode confidently up to Bean, but while she did so Bean couldn’t help but notice the difference between her eyes and Blueblood’s. Trixie was confident and assured, eager and willing. Bean could see she wanted nothing more than to be front and center in whatever scheme was being brewed, and that she would remain in the center of it until the end. “I understand the Prince is in need of Trixie’s services?” Trixie asked smugly while casually inspecting a hoof. “If you are willing to offer them. You’re under no obligation to do this, Trixie. If you wish to leave, then nopony will hold it against you and you’ll be escorted to safety. I can’t promise that here. My ideas could be quite dangerous.” “Danger? Trixie laughs in the face of danger, ha-ha-ha-ha!” “I see nothing funny about this,” Wysteria cut in from behind Bean. “What are you still doing here?” Bean asked while he turned to face her. “Officially, I am supposed to make sure you make it to the safehouse, under Princess Celestia’s orders. Unofficially, I’m disobeying the orders you gave me after you disobeyed your orders, but don’t tell my boss. I don’t think she approves of insurrections she’s not in charge of. Now, what’s the plan?” “I can’t ask this of you, Wys. I would be risking your life and the life of your foal.” “Part of the job, sir. I never expected a total and complete promise of protection when I signed up to be Celestia’s secretary. Now, do you need a strongly worded memo sent out to Tirek? I’m sure that would stop him.” “Knowing you, it just might,” Corporal Quillpoint interjected while he walked up, and he saluted his prince. “Ready and waiting for your orders, sir.” Bean glanced quickly at the ponies who surrounded him. This was a herd of friends he had never asked for, nor that he deserved. They had every right, in his mind, to be concerned with their own affairs and their own welfare. They shouldn’t have to deal with him, and he did not believe they should ever be expected to. But they willingly came to him and stood by him. Even with the unspoken but obvious threat that Tirek presented, they offered their services to him. Bean smiled deeply. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve friends like you, but thanks. I don’t know what will happen in the end, but I know it’ll all turn out fine with all of you helping me.” “Trixie is doing this to get back at Sparkle, for the record,” Trixie piped up. “Oo, I can’t wait to see her face when she finds out Trixie was the one who saved her flank.” “Whatever floats your boat, Trixie,” Bean replied. “So, let’s figure this out. Sergeants, since Wysteria is here to make sure I leave, I am assuming that the guards have been given similar instructions, yes?” “Not explicitly, sir,” Pokey replied. “But any guard who finds you within the city boundaries will report back to Captain Armor. Everypony knows you should be at the safehouse.” “So whatever we do, we can’t do it here,” he huffed. “We need to stall Tirek outside of Canterlot. Do we know where he is now?” “No, sir,” Clover replied. “The last report said he was at Rainbow Falls, but with Discord at his side he could be anywhere now.” Bean tapped a hoof to his chin while he thought. “That makes ambushing him impossible, unless …” he paused, and then he brightened slightly. “Unless we know where he’s going.” “Ponyville, sir,” Quillpoint stated the obvious. “He’ll go after Princess Twilight once he finds out about her.” “Exactly. So, we need to set up a trap for him near there, keep him from making it all the way. Trixie, this is where you come in.” “Oh? What can Trixie do?” she asked. Bean’s smile turned devious. “Tell me, where do you get your fireworks?” Bean sighed to himself while he watched the moonlit countryside pass before him, and under normal circumstances, the slight sway of the train would probably lull him to sleep. He smiled softly with the thought of falling asleep next to his beloved Celestia, her wing draped over him like the world’s most perfect blanket and with her soft and steady breathing bringing his world back to center and to serenity. It was impossible for anything to be wrong when he found himself beside her like that, and if somepony were to ask him what the greatest feeling in the world was, he would answer it was to have Celestia’s gentle magenta eyes twinkling back at him while he drifted to sleep. They were like deep pools of comfort that stretched into infinity, and a small tear crept out of the corner of his own eye when he realized he may never see them again. He couldn’t let anything happen to them, though. Even if her love had died out for him, he would never stop loving her, and he would do anything to protect her; to care for her. For a moment, he wondered what she was doing right then. Had she summoned Twilight yet, or was she still in the archives, searching for the transfer spell? Had she noticed the havoc he’d created in the hallway, and if she had, was she mad at him? He hoped she wasn’t mad. She had every right to be, of course, but maybe she would see why he had done it, and when she did she would again proclaim that he was a very clever pony, worthy of her praise and adoration. He could even accept her saying nothing. If he could see just one little spark in her eyes, one hint that there was still a spot in her heart for him, no matter what had been or what was to come, that would be enough. He could be content with Blueblood being right, so long as there was still one small ember of love for him. A knock on the door broke his thoughts, and Bean offered a tired smile to Wysteria and Trixie while they walked in. “Good evening, ma’ams. What can I do for you?” “We just received some news from Sergeant Clover, sir,” Wysteria replied. “She and Pokey were able to round up a few more guards, but the numbers are still low. We’re looking at five pegasus, six unicorn, and four earth pony guards. They’re en route to the rendezvous point and will commence with Operation Ever Free once they arrive.” “What about Private Lemon Tart?” “She is one of the new additions, sir.” “Good. We’ll need her flying skill.” “Trixie has just received a reply from her contacts in Baltimare,” Trixie added. “They have sent out every last firework they have, and we are scheduled to meet with that train at Dodge Junction in two hours.” “That doesn’t give us much time, does it?” Bean sighed. “We’ll have to be fast. How are you holding up, Wys?” “Oh, I feel like a piece of gum that’s been chewed on for too long and should have been spat out hours ago, sir; so not too bad.” “And Quill Junior?” One of Wysteria’s hooves reached up to rub her stomach. “He’s doing fine. He’s sitting right on my bladder at the moment, so I may need to duck out on you.” “Please do. I’m serious about the offer to evacuate you, too. Just say you want out, and I’ll have Quill Senior take you away.” “Not happening, sir. I may be a bloated lump, but I’m still your secretary and somepony needs to chronicle your heroic exploits, at the least.” Bean scoffed, and his eyes drifted back outside. “Or my spectacular failure, brought about by my own idiotic choices.” “I don’t think that’s your destiny, sir. This feels right to me. You’re choosing to take a stand, and to protect the ponies under your care. This is what Celestia would want, even if she’s saying something contrary to it.” “I hope so,” Bean softly replied to the yellow reflection he saw in the glass. “Heroic choices are never easy in the moment, sir. It’s a difficult thing to ask others to risk their lives for you, and for others. But I know, without a doubt, that the ponies who are following your instructions have faith in you, and they believe in your skills. I know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe.” Bean turned back to Wysteria with a small smile. “Thanks, Wys. When all of this madness is over, and if I’m still Prince of anything, consider Quill Junior’s education paid for.” “I appreciate that, sir. I’ve already got the pamphlets.” “Trixie, thank you too. No matter how this ends, I’ll make sure you receive the bits you need for a new wagon, and I’ll absolve your debt for the carriages. You’ve paid the crown back and then some with what you’ve done.” “Trixie accepts your offer, on one condition.” Bean chuckled slightly. “And what is that?” “Trixie also wants a statue erected in her honor. A big one, too, that details all of Trixie’s exploits and heroic deeds for all of Equestria to see.” “I’ll see what I can do. Would a stained-glass window be an acceptable substitute? I’m going to be buying them in bulk when this is all over.” “Trixie would prefer a statue,” she huffed, “but if that is the best you can do, Trixie will accept it.” “Why are you really doing this, Trixie?” Bean flatly asked. “You could have just slipped away in the confusion, or gone to the safehouse. You’re not staying here just for fame and glory.” “Trixie has no idea what you mean,” Trixie replied quickly, her eyes unable to meet Bean’s stare directly. “Of course Trixie is here for the glory. Imagine the crowds that will pack in to see Trixie once she has helped to save all magic!” “I can have Wysteria step into the next railcar, if that will help.” Trixie then made eye contact, and all of her bravado was stripped away from her in that glance. Her shoulders slumped, and a great sadness swept over her face. “I’ve done a lot of things that I’m not proud of, My Prince,” Trixie softly started. “And I’m sure you know all about them. I … I love the crowds, I always have. The cheers, the smiles, the air of delight and awe that came with my performances was - and is - wonderfully intoxicating. There’s something magical about seeing a filly or colts’ eyes light up in amazement, or in seeing their grandpa smile with pleasure when they see the joy of their grandchildren. I love to see two ponies talking to each other, trying to figure out how The Great and Powerful Trixie managed to perform her latest and greatest achievement. There’s a … well, a proud joy, that builds right here,” she touched her heart with a hoof, “and that feeling is one I’ve never found anywhere else. “But when my usual tricks began to falter, and when the crowds thinned out, I became desperate. I embellished my achievements, to the point where I stopped performing magic entirely. Then Sparkle exposed my lies, and then she had to stop me when I used the Alicorn Amulet. I realized after that little incident that I had lost what I really wanted, and I wanted fame more than I wanted that joy I’d first felt. I tried to go on the road again, but I couldn’t bring the joy back. The only thing ponies remember is my defeats, and as you saw at Neighagra Falls, I get heckled and humiliated everywhere I go. “I’m standing with you to prove I’m a different pony now,” she continued, her head lifting slightly with pride. “I don’t want ponies to remember my failures; I want them to see what I am now. I want to have my crowds see that I still can be great and powerful, and I want to feel that joy again. I want to see that look of awe and adoration once more, and I want to bring happiness again. Perhaps it’s all selfish, but it’s what feels right to me.” Bean nodded slowly. Given that his own actions were being fueled by a desire to regain Celestia’s love, he could hardly be critical of Trixie’s motivations. But something she had said was tickling his brain and teasing an idea out of it ... “But Trixie still wants to rub her success in Sparkle’s face, of course.” “You just had to keep talking,” Wysteria muttered and shook her head. “Trixie,” Bean asked, “what happened when you had the Alicorn Amulet?” Two pairs of eyes went wide in alarm, and Trixie shook both her head and one hoof in rejection of his thought. “Oh no! Don’t even go there, sir. Trixie could not help being cruel and mean when she wore the amulet, and the only pony who can take it off is the pony who wears it.” “But Twilight managed to convince you to take it off,” Bean countered. “If Twilight does have all alicorn magic, and then that gets amplified by the amulet, she should have more than enough to blast Tirek back to Tartarus, right?” “In theory,” Wysteria replied, but with her doubt heavy in her voice. “Then she’ll destroy Equestria when she’s done. You’ll be swapping one problem for another that’s even worse.” Bean’s eyes darted back and forth as he thought. “Maybe. If Twilight puts it just as she starts to fight Tirek, and then pulls it off as soon as she defeats him, then it could be done. With the amplified magic, she should be able to defeat him in just a minute or two, right? That’s not long enough to corrupt her.” “Yes it is,” Trixie cut in. “The amulet corrupted Trixie even before she put it on. It used dark thoughts of revenge to draw me to it, and I spent every last bit I could beg, borrow, or steal to acquire it. Then I put it on, and all I could think of was power. Retaliation. Domination.” She shuddered. “This is a bad idea, Bean. Very bad. It’s not worth the risk to gain the power.” “All of my ideas have been bad up to this point, you’ve gotta admit,” Bean countered. “Yes, but don’t you have a better bad idea than this?” “What if this is the best bad idea I’ve had, by far?” Bean sighed heavily. “I get that it’s not ideal, but it might be the one thing that tips the odds in our favor. Wys, when we get to Dodge Junction, we’ll send you ahead to Ponyville. Twilight would know better than anypony about the amulet, and she could tell you if she thinks she can handle it. At the very least, you can appraise her of our plans, and she can adapt to them as needed.” “I’ll do you one better, sir,” Wysteria replied while she stood. “I can write a letter to Twilight right now. That gives her enough time to reply and to tell you the fifty-seven reasons why using the amulet is the dumbest idea short of giving Blueblood a mirror.” “Fair enough.” Bean nodded. “Do it.” This was it. At long last, Triek was about to reclaim all that was rightfully his, and these pitiful ponies would finally know what true power was. All that remained was the magic of the alicorns, and once he had that, he would be unstoppable. It was only fitting, then, that he make his grand entrance into the Throne Room by simply smashing the doors in, ripping what remained clean off the hinges, and then throwing them aside. He sneered as he approached the three princesses, but he wasted no time in crossing the room, and his ill-gained magic lifted Celestia from the throne in gleeful anticipation. She had tried to strike a defiant pose, but it was all for naught and they both knew it. His mouth opened wide, he began to inhale … But no magic was forthcoming. He stalled for a moment in confusion, but then his fury boiled over. “What have you done?!” Celestia then stuck out her tongue at him. “Nyah nyah,” she taunted in sing-song, “Tirek wants my ma-a-agic, but I don’t ha-a-ve it!” Tirek promptly dropped Celestia and grabbed Cadence instead, which seemed to enrage Luna beyond belief. “What about me!” she shouted while quickly going nose-to-nose with the beast. “You come storming in here and try to steal my sister’s magic, but I’m not good enough for you? I will not be ignored! Come here and try to take my magic, you big bully! Just because my pretty pony sister doesn’t have her magic, doesn’t mean you should assume I lack it too! DON’T LOOK AT ME IN THAT TONE OF VOICE, MISTER! I’M IMPORTANT TOO, YOU KNOW! This is the whole reason I became Nightmare Moon after all! All of my pretty ponies pay attention to my sister and ignore me just because I don’t have magic, JUST LIKE YOU’RE DOING NOW!!” Tirek growled under his breath while his magic cast her aside, but she continued to rant while he attempted to take the magic from Princess Cadence. When that failed as well, he threw his arms up in frustration, and his anger doubled. “WHERE IS YOUR MAGIC?!” “Where is my magic?” Cadence repeated with a sad and tired scoff. “Heh, don’t we all ask that? Aren’t we all nothing more than conduits, letting it flow through us while we wallow in the delusion that we control it, instead of it controlling us? No, my Shining Armor tells me he can make a shield, but it’s really the shield that makes him. Without that, he would be nothing, and that makes me married to nothing, and then I must be less than nothing.” “HEY!” Luna shouted. “Celly, stop that right now!” “Woo!” Celestia whooped in delight, and Tirek found he was having a hard time keeping his thoughts straight while Celestia spun herself like a top, her wings clipping the back of Luna’s head as she did so. “Lulu, lighten up! You’re always so angry!” “I’ll show you angry!” Luna hollered in reply, but her off-balance attempt at tackling Celestia ended with her skidding across the floor, much to the older sister’s amusement. “Get back here, Celestia! I’m not taking second place again! You always win!” “That’s because you’re such a klutz! Klutzy Lu, Klutzy Lu!” “I AM NOT!” “..but then, when I said I wanted to dye my mane black, do you know what he said?” Cadence asked, and Tirek’s eye twitched. “He said, ‘Cady, you’re so naturally beautiful that you don’t need to change.’ But I feel so dark and empty inside sometimes, and I just want to run away from it all.” A crash and another angry shout from Luna finally snapped what little patience Tirek had in the first place. With one quick surge of magic, he ripped open a portal to Tartarus and gathered up the three oddly-behaved alicorns. Luna continued to take swipes at Celestia with her forehooves, Cadence simply pouted and moped, and Celestia began to giggle furiously. “Is Tartarus far enough away from it all for you?” snapped Tirek with a sadistic sneer.“Give my regards to Cerberus!” “Your magic tickles.” Celestia squirmed a bit. “But not like my Bean’s tickles. I want him back. Where did he go?” Tirek growled again, and with a casual flick of his wrist, the Princesses of Equestria were sent to the very place Tirek had spent his imprisonment for over a thousand years. “Aw, such a shame,” Discord replied while leaning against the damaged doorway. “I was quite enjoying that. Do you think they’ll do an encore performance if I ask nicely?” “I did not come here for their foolish theatrics!” snarled Tirek. “I came for their magic! Where have they hidden it!” He paused and growled, “Where is this ‘Bean’ that Celestia spoke of? Is it some sort of magical vault?” “No, just Baked Bean, a little earth pony who blundered into becoming her husband. Delightful cook, by the way. He’s been coming to tea on Tuesdays, and he makes the most delicious tea cakes and scones. Really, you need to try one sometime.” Tirek’s scowl deepened. “Celestia is married?!” “Goodness, where have you been?” Discord chortled, and he walked out into the hallway with Tirek. “I mean, there’s a big window that shows it right…” Discord blinked when he saw the lack of stained glass in the window. “Right where?” Tirek folded his arms tightly. “Bean-o, what have you been up to?” Discord asked while he inspected the shattered glass on the floor with a magnifying glass. “This is not your usual chaos.” “Do you know where this Bean is now?” Tirek demanded. “Surely he would know where their magic is.” “Oh, he’s probably hiding somewhere. He’s just a common earth pony, and he can’t do a thing by himself.” “Are you sure he poses no threat?” Discord straightened and faced Tirek directly. “Why? Don’t you trust me?” “Of course I do. That’s why I’m giving you this.” Tirek removed a medallion he’d been wearing, and he smiled as he tied it around Discord’s neck. “This was given to me by someone very close to me. I give it to you as a sign of my gratitude and loyalty.” “Oh, my!” Discord exclaimed while he took the medallion in hand and looked it over in wonder. “I do love a good accessory. I suppose that’s Rarity’s influence.” “So, where can we find Celestia’s husband?” “Hm. Hard to say, really. I’m sure Celestia sent him somewhere safe. It would crush her if anything happened to him.” “If you do not know then simply say so,” Tirek snapped, but then he smiled. “But no matter. Since he is useless, we do not need to concern ourselves with him. With the Princesses out of the way, we can now move forward.” “Oh, yes.” Discord replied with a chaotic grin. “But first, I suppose you would like to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Tirek paused for a brief moment, but then he grabbed Discord by the throat in rage. “There’s a fourth? And you did not tell me this?!” “I just needed some assurance that you truly considered this a team effort,” Discord replied while he admired his medallion again. “And now I have it.” “So, where do we find this fourth princess? Where is her castle?” “Castle?” Discord burst into laughter. “No, Princess Twilight lives above a library in Ponyville!” “Then it is time we paid her a visit,” Tirek replied with an evil grin, and he rubbed his hands together in glee.