//------------------------------// // 37. - Restitution // Story: This Nose Knows // by Irrespective //------------------------------// The house that Sergeant Pokey and his motley crew were headed to was typical construction for being in the vicinity of the Forbidden Jungle, except perhaps with slightly thicker walls and higher ceilings. Even Celestia would not have needed to duck her head when coming in the front door, and to Pokey’s relief, the inside of the house was as uneventful as the outside, with the delectable scent of something cooking back in the kitchen giving a good hint that Bean was really here, and occupied with his favorite task. “It’s going to be so good to have Bean back at the castle again, sir,” said Private Tart. “I have to admit, for somepony that I didn’t think we needed at first, he sure left one huge gap. If nothing else, having him back will cut down on the construction budget. They must have hauled a dozen of those big-rumped statues out of the gardens, all busted up into gravel, and the Plump Rump Hall—” “Ahem,” said Pokey. “The Gallery of the Mid-Ponopean Age paintings, Private. Frankly, I wondered how all of those particular paintings lasted three centuries without some unfortunate accident happening to them, and if one of the guard should happen to use that particular phrase...” “Got it, sir,” said Tart. “We’re flammable too. Anyway, stiff upper lip, greet the prince, transport him back to Canterlot, and stay out of the way of the kisses, right?” “The risk of getting trampled during the reunion is high,” confirmed Pokey. “But, yes.” “Just back here.” Windy motioned with a hoof. “He’s spent most of the time in my kitchen. Good food, but it’s going to take me a month to restock after this. He keeps cooking like he’s serving twenty ponies or something.” Pokey nodded. “He usually does. You should stop by when he cooks his three cheese tortellini.” “Well, sooner he’s outta my kitchen, the better,” Windy grumbled while she swung the door open. “Bean! There’s somepony here to see you.” Sergeant Pokey then strode in, hoping that his ward would still recognize him and was still in one piece. The kitchen itself was as unremarkable as the rest of the house, but every vertical surface seemed to be covered with pots and pans. There was a whoosh of steam by the stove, but just as Pokey looked, he heard the voice that would make Celestia’s world right again. “Hello, Sergeant,” Prince Baked Bean offered cheerfully. “It’s good to see you. You caught me at a bad time, I’m afraid; I’m trying to get dinner going for Windy and Junior at the moment.” “It’s good to see you too, Your Highness,” Pokey offered with a dip of his head while Tart gasped and bent the knee behind him. “We’ve been looking for you for a long time.” Bean dumped a pan of something into a colander, and the escaping steam obscured the view once more. “I’m sorry for that. You really didn’t need to find me, you know.” Pokey glanced to Tart, who shrugged at his odd behavior. “Princess Celestia has been worried sick about you, sir. We need to get you back to her as soon as possible.” “Celestia.” Bean paused, and Pokey thought he saw a flash of green light in Bean’s eyes before he dropped the pan he was holding and grabbed the sides of his head. “No! Can’t go back. It’ll be … mm, good but bad. I’ll hurt her if I love her.” “See what I mean?” Windy quipped from behind the guards. “Your Highness, please. I think you’re a bit confused,” Pokey replied in a soft voice. “We just want to take you home, that’s all.” “No.” Bean picked up the pot, and slammed it onto the counter. “I’m not going anywhere near Canterlot. Nothing—” he grabbed his head again for a long moment and groaned. “Canterlot is wrong. I’m wrong.” Pokey nodded slowly, and he quickly worked out a new line of attack. “All right, I won’t take you back. What are you cooking?” “I’m not sure,” Bean replied with a grunt. “And that really bothers me. I always know what to cook.” “Why don’t you keep working on that for now, and I’ll get out of your way. Maybe we can share a meal together once you get it right.” “Yeah. That would be good, I guess.” Bean looked over the misshapen lumps in the colander. “Might be awhile, though.” “That’s fine. I’ll check on you again in a moment.” Bean absently nodded, and Pokey retreated back to the front room of the house with the others. Tart, however, vocalized the question they both shared as soon as the door had swung closed again. “What happened to the prince?” “I don’t know, but something about this whole thing bugs me rather severely,” he replied with a withering glare to the changelings. “Right now, he’s here, and reasonably healthy, if a little fragile. If we can get him back to Canterlot, Doctor Horsenpfeffer can treat him there. If not, we’ll fly in the finest specialists Equestria has and set up camp for however long is needed. I’ve seen soldiers act like this before. Private, fly back, and report our location, and make sure Princess Celestia doesn’t come screaming over here like her tail’s on fire. I’ll make sure Bean stays put until the Captain arrives.” “Sir!” Tart saluted, then trotted outside and took to the air. Pokey shook his head once he took another look towards the kitchen, and then he turned to Windy. “How long has he been here?” “Four days. He staggered in towards sunset, dehydrated and mumbling something about a pony named Thorax before he passed out. We took care of him until he came to the next afternoon, but when I tried to send Junior out to summon you guards, he flipped out. He begged, pleaded, and even ordered us not to contact you, or anypony else in Canterlot. We agreed, mostly to get him to settle down, and he’s been puttering around here ever since, cooking meals for us and acting like he was going to be ambushed at any moment. I tried telling him that he needed to go back a time or two, but he wouldn’t listen to me.” “Why would he do that?” Pokey asked. “What did Chrysalis do to him?” “Hey, don’t look at me.” Bob held his hooves up in the air. “I was in Canterlot the whole time.” Pokey glared daggers at Mandible for a moment before turning back to Windy. “Well, on behalf of Princess Celestia and the whole of Equestria, I thank you for the service and the care you have rendered to Prince Baked Bean. If he’ll let us, we’ll take him back to Canterlot, and hopefully we can sort out what happened.” “I hope so,” Windy muttered. “I’ll miss his cooking, but he’s generally been underhoof otherwise. It’s gonna take me forever to replace all the spices he used.” “I’ll see to it that you are reimbursed for the loss,” Pokey replied, and then he glared at the changelings again. “Kale, Tip Top, may I have a word with you two in private?” ~*~ “All right, Mandible. What did Chrysalis do to Bean?” Pokey demanded once they were away from the house. “I don’t know!” Mandible whined. Pokey snorted, his wings flared, and the changeling had to stagger back towards the front porch as the Royal Guard advanced on him. “Perhaps I’m not being clear, bug. I want to know what happened. If you won’t tell me, I assure you that Princess Celestia will be the least of your concerns.” “Seriously, I don’t know! Our Queen doesn’t prance around the hive, proclaiming her latest evil scheme in a carefully choreographed musical number, you know.”⁽*⁾ ⁽*⁾Most drones believed that their Queen suffered from stage fright, given that they frequently walked in on her belting out show tunes when in private. They also knew better than to ask her about it. “Then tell me what you do know, and fast.” “She wanted to corrupt him, for sure,” Mandible started. “She was trying to get him to love her, but I don’t know why it mattered. She also wanted Celestia to come to the hive to get him.” “A trap,” Pokey mused. “Capture the Princess and replace her. No pony questions anything with Bean there.” “Sure?” Mandible offered. “That doesn’t explain why he reacted the way he did. Even if he did think Chrysalis was the Princess, he should want to return home. Something about this isn’t adding up.” Pokey tapped his chin with a hoof. “I suppose the only way to know what’s going on is to ask the Prince or weasel an answer out of your Queen.” “I doubt our Queen is going to tell you anything, especially if she’s still being held in Canterlot,” Bob noted. “Probably not,” Pokey agreed. “The best thing right now is to get him back to Celestia.” “What will you do with us once he’s home?” Bob asked softly. Pokey didn’t reply for a long moment. “Honestly, I don’t know. That’ll be up to Captain Armor and the Princesses, though I am willing to bet that you two will not be barbequed, since you helped find him.” “Maybe she should,” Mandible quipped. “I’m sure our Queen will be pretty upset with us.” At that moment, there was a sudden burst of magic, and the two changelings dove into each other’s arms with a yelp. Shining Armor, Private Tart, Prince Blueblood, and a carriage with two pegasus guards appeared in the clearing, and Shining Armor glanced around in confusion while Blueblood collapsed to the ground with a shuddering cry of pain. “You actually managed to pull that off?!” Tart shouted while she moved to Blueblood’s side. “You’re insane!” “What is going on here?” Shining demanded. “Prince Bean,” Blueblood wheezed. “He’s here.” “What? He’s here? What is he doing here?” “Making Gazpacho, I think, sir. It’s that soup with the little—” “I know what Gazpacho is, Sergeant!” Shining snapped, but then he hesitated. “Is he done? Because I wouldn’t want to interrupt him before he’s finished.” “I don’t think so, sir. He said he was struggling with it.” Shining then went to Blueblood’s side, and he put a hoof on the bureaucrats’ neck. “Did you seriously teleport all of us here, you idiot?” “Celestia needs Bean.” Blueblood struggled for the words and for air. “This was the fastest way to reunite them.” “I ran into Blueblood on my way back to tell you, Captain,” Tart added. “Seems that he was coming to help in the search efforts. Once I told him we’d found the Prince, he said he’d teleport all of us there so we could get Bean back. I didn’t think he would actually do that.” Shining glanced to the two guards pulling the carriage, and they both nodded. “All right. Pokey, I’ll get Bean while you load up Blueblood. We need to get them both back to Canterlot as quickly as possible. Private, I want you to fly back to Wysteria and let her know we found Bean. Have everypony return as soon as possible.” “Sir!” Tart saluted and was off like a shot. “Sergeant, you can fill me in once we’re airborne,” Shining continued while he produced a scroll and a quill. “I want a full debrief once we get back.” “Yes, sir.” Pokey moved to take care of Blueblood, only to whirl around and stare when Shining Armor’s magic surged and sent the scroll on its way. Pokey looked at the Prince with more than a little nervousness. “That didn’t go to the Princess, did it?” ~*~ “Come, sister. You must eat something,” Luna admonished. “You’re going to start some horrible trends if you don’t.” “I know, I know,” Celestia replied with a small pout. “But I just have no appetite.” “Come now. Just a small bite to start. Don’t make me force feed you,” Luna threatened. Celestia rolled her eyes, but she did take a small spoonful of rice pudding and chewed slowly. “There we go,” Luna said with a smile. “Lulu, do you think Minister Wise is right?” Celestia softly asked. “Am I wasting resources on a lost cause?” Luna clicked her tongue. “You already know the answer to that.” “I’d spend every last bit in the coffers and renounce my crown if it would bring Bean back.” Celestia closed her eyes and slowly exhaled. “But this doesn’t just affect me, or you. I’m asking all of Equestria to support this search, and I can’t completely drive the thought away. Maybe I am forcing our little ponies to give too much.” “Celly, I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth. You need only to remember what those same ponies did when I returned.” Celestia smiled and quickly took another bite. “Indeed. I lost track of how many parties, parades, and celebrations there were.” “The love that they had then for a princess they had never known is the same love they have now for a Prince who charmed his way into your heart. They will not be happy until you are once again happy, and whole.” “Thanks, Lulu. You are right, and—” Celestia was cut off by the sudden appearance of a scroll, and the contents of it were devoured by anxious magenta eyes before Luna had a chance to blink. Celestia then let out a screech of delight, lept from her seat and sent the chair clattering across the hall, and she swept up her younger sister in a tearful and bone-crunching hug. “They found him! They found him! Sergeant Pokey and Captain Armor found him!” “They did?!” Luna cheered, and her joy mixed with her sister’s while she joined in with another screech of delight. “Celly! Where is he?” “Somewhere near the Forbidden Jungle, but they’re on their way back now! Come! I must go to him at once!” Celestia released Luna and sprinted to the door. “Cadence! They found my Bean!” ~*~ “No.” Bean moved around to the stove and stirred his sauce. “I’m not going back.” Shining blinked. “You have to. Aunt Celestia has been worried sick about you, dude.” Bean groaned, and he put a hoof on the obsidian stone that he was wearing around his neck. “No. It’ll be … good, and I’ve missed her, but she’ll hurt me if she gets to me. I can’t let her find me. She’s gonna hurt a lot of ponies.” Shining took a step back while Bean’s other hoof went to the bridge of his nose. “Who is going to hurt ponies, Bean?” “Celestia … no, it—” Bean stalled and choked on his own breath for a moment while both hooves pushed against the side of his head. “It’ll be really bad. I have to leave.” “Where are you going to go?” Shining asked while Bean moved to the door. “Away. Far away. I don’t … I don’t want to hurt anypony.” “Bean, listen to me. You’re going to hurt a lot of ponies if you do run. I can see this is all very confusing to you, but you gotta believe me when I say I’m here to help.” “I...I know you are…” Bean shook his head a few times. “I don’t like this. It hurts when I think about her.” “How about this, Bean. Come with us to Canterlot, but!” Shining quickly snagged Bean in his magic before he could bolt out the door. “But we go see Doctor Horsenpfeffer first. She can figure out why you’re hurting, and she’ll fix it. Then we’ll worry about everything else, okay?” Bean’s hoof went to the stone around his neck again. It was all so confusing; he wanted to be with Celestia more than he wanted to breathe, but just the thought of her made his head feel like a coconut being split open. Could it really be that easy? Would the Doctor be able to take away this pain? “Okay.” Bean slowly nodded. “I’ll go with you, but not back to the Canterhive.” Bean paused, and shook his head. “No. Not to Hivealot. Wait. That’s … no …” Bean groaned in frustration and he pulled on his own ears. “What if I take you to the Crystal Empire?” Shining offered. “Horsenpfeffer can treat you there, if it’ll help you to feel better about coming.” Shining released Bean and held out a hoof. “Can you trust me?” Bean nodded, and he limped his way to the door. Maybe the Doctor could do something to stop the pain in his leg, too. It really hurt when he tried to move it, and it really slowed him down to have it dragging along like dead weight. “What happened to your leg?” Shining asked with deep concern. “I’m not sure, exactly. I think I hit a tree? I can’t really remember.” “Looks like it’s busted pretty good. We’ll have the Doc get that fixed up, too.” “I would like that.” “You’ve gotta tell me about everything that’s happened once we get you taken care of,” Shining remarked while they crossed the front room. “We need to make sure this never happens again.” “I’ll try, but I don’t really remember anything after the fight with Tirek. I’m not even sure how I got here.” “I’m sure Miss Rivers will be happy to tell us that part,” Shining said. “She also said she’s gonna miss your cooking.” “Oh. I could maybe send her the recipes I was using.” “I’m sure she would appreciate that.” “Yeah,” Bean replied while he stepped outside and blinked away the bright sunlight. “I think she will. Maybe she can show me what spices—” Bean’s words died as his throat suddenly swelled and began to choke him. His injured rear leg began to shake wildly, and he staggered a step back while his heart began pounding in his ears. “Bean?” The most perfectly awful voice in all of existence tenderly whispered his name. “Is that really you?” “No!” Bean gagged, and foam began to build in the corners of his mouth. His love, his agony, the one who he cared for more than life itself and the one who wanted to hurt everything he held dear was standing right before him. Images of Celestia and Chrysalis began to tear his head apart from the inside out, and he grabbed at his ears in a vain attempt to staunch the pain. “Bean, it’s me,” Celestia called out, and she took a step towards him. “I’m here to take you home. You’re safe now.” “No!” Bean screeched as he stumbled backwards. “I won’t let you get away with this! I’d rather die first!” Bean took off at a dead run. He couldn’t tell which image in his head was of his wife and which was of his tormentor, but they twisted and churned within him like cake batter being mixed up with a tornado. Every last inch of him caught on fire, and he was sure his head would explode from the pressure at any moment. He had to get away. Running took away the agony. Running protected those he loved. Running saved his love from his love. “Stop him!” Shining ordered over the gasps of alarm, and Bean suddenly found himself at the bottom of a pile of guard ponies and contained within one of the Captain’s shields. His frantic churning and writhing to break free matched what was consuming his soul, and his screams were panicked and feral. “Let me go! This is a mistake! She’s gonna destroy us all! I won’t go back, do you hear me?! I can’t let her win!” “Bean?” Celestia’s voice cracked with concern and confusion, and Bean began to sob uncontrollably when he saw the anguish on her face. “It’s me, Bean. Celestia. Your wife.” “You’re not my wife!” he bellowed. “I hate you! I want a divorce, right here and now! I never loved you, do you hear me?! I hate you!” “You don’t mean that, my love. Chrysalis did this to you.” Bean screamed again, but his energy was fading fast. “Let me go, now! Celestia … is going to … hurt Celestia … no! Please! I can’t let her win…” The shadows that were clouding his vision were broken by a pair of cyan eyes, and it only took a word from the younger sister to stop Bean’s raving descent into insanity. “Sleep.” * * ✹ * * Baked Bean awoke with a shuddering gasp, and his legs flailed around for a moment while his brain processed where he was and what had happened. Chrysalestia had found him, and then Luna… Bean inhaled sharply. The thunderous cacophony of confusion still rang loudly in the space between his ears, and he found that his black stone was gone when he moved to touch it. He snorted at that revelation; that little hunk of rock had not helped when he had really needed it. “Bean-o?” “Discord?” Bean replied. “Is that you?” “Indeed it is, mon capitaine,” The Lord of Chaos answered in a very meek voice. “Where am I?” Bean groaned and rubbed the sides of his head. “You’re back in Canterlot, where you should be. Specifically, you’re in your chambers.” Bean’s heart began to race once more. This was very, very bad. “And Celestia?” “She's just outside, talking to Luna, Cadence, Shining, and Doctor Horsenpfeffer about your condition. It’s the first time she’s left your side since they found you, and she practically had to be dragged out so as not to disturb you while they talked.” Bean nodded, and his mind frantically began to plot another escape. He couldn’t stay here in the Canterhive; he had to get away before Celesalis tried to use her magic on him. “Look, Bean-o, I need to, uh …” Discord dipped his head in shame. “ I need to apologize to you. I betrayed you, and I—” “Apology accepted, Discord,” Bean cut him off. “I forgive you.” Discord blinked. “What? Just like that? You don’t want me to beg, or to tell you how amazingly fantastic you are for hours on end? I mean, that’s what I would want in an apology, after all.” “Nah.” Bean’s gaze had gone to the unoccupied balcony, and a plan was beginning to piece together. “I don’t even know if you’re the real Discord or a changeling that looks like him. Even if you aren’t, it’s nice to say it.” With a smile and a wince he pulled the covers off of himself and struggled to stand. His efforts were hampered by a splint that held his injured leg at its full extension, but after a moment of awkward shuffling he managed to get upright. “Steady there,” Discord said warily. “Last thing I need is Celly to think I’m taking you away.” “Then you’d better leave. I don’t want you taking the heat for this.” Bean limped his way to the door. “Literally.” “Bean? Let it never be said that I impeded some good, wholesome chaos, but what is going on in that yellow head of yours?” “Salmonella.” “Gesundheit?” “It’s a bacteria, Discord, and a rather nasty one at that. It’ll give a pony gastrointestinal problems, and the health inspector will shut you down for a month if your restaurant has an outbreak. There’s only two ways to ensure it’s totally been killed; either you bleach it—” Bean stopped at the edge of the balcony, stared off into the distant eastern horizon for a moment, and his jaw set in defiant understanding. “—or expose it to extreme heat.” “Bean, wait a minute,” Discord hastily said. “I don’t like what you’re implying here.” “Discord, everypony in Equestria is in danger with me on the loose. I can’t let Chrysalestia win.” Bean’s expression softened. “I wish things could be different, but I just can’t let this happen.” “Bean…” Bean shook his head. “Only a Princess can raise or lower the sun.” He reached out with his magic, and he let his heart reach with his magic towards his beloved’s celestial orb. “Give Celestia my love, will you? I hope she’ll understand.” “Bean, wait!” It was too late. Bean closed his eyes when he felt his simple earth pony magic connect with the sun, and a small smile came with the overload of energy that came roaring back down the line with all the furious power of life and creation itself. “I love you, Celly.” For what seemed like eternity, there was nothing. Baked Bean did not feel. He did not hear, or taste, or touch, or think. It was like everything had been erased from existence, and a deep nothingness was left in its place. For a brief moment, he thought he had made the glorious transition between life and death, and that now he would be privileged to see what awaited a pony once they shuffled off their mortal coil. He smiled as a pinprick of light appeared in the distance, and he felt the calm peace of total surrender as the light grew and overtook his entire field of vision. This was good, this was right. The pains and confusions and doubts were gone, and nothing remained but perfect bliss. “Bean?” “Celestia?” Bean felt his heart swell with love, concern, and desire. If he was truly dead, then he was grateful that his beloved wife was here with him. He couldn’t imagine any sort of life without her in it. “What are you doing, my love?” My love. No two words had ever been able to hold the entirety of perfection for Bean like those two did. “I’m trying to raise the sun.” “Oh, you are? May I be permitted to assist you?” Bean paused, and he searched every last bit of himself for Chrysalis’ horrid magic. It was gone. Celestia was again Celestia in his head, and Chrysalis was Chrysalis. He remembered everything that had happened, all of the pain and the anguish, the despair and the longing for the one whom he truly loved. So when her wing tenderly draped across his back, his sobs came with bursts of laughter. When her magic weaved in with his, he collapsed to his knees. And when her nose touched his with the first rays of dawn, he knew he was home. Once again, he found himself in those perfect pools of magenta, and he knew that everything he had thought about her loving him less was completely and utterly wrong. Her love surrounded him, supported him, and caressed him, with all the gentle strength that Celestia had to offer. He felt every last piece of his broken heart mended and healed in one glorious surge of pleasure, and he knew that his dear Celly had never stopped loving him. She was his, and he was hers. Nothing in Equestria could ever change that, and he had been the world’s greatest fool to believe otherwise. After another eternity of hugs, kisses, relieved giggles and heartfelt tears, Bean finally pulled back and drank in the picture of perfection that was his wife. She was even more glorious and beautiful than he had remembered, and they both giggled when he realized she was looking him over with the same eager concern. “My dear Bean.” Celestia ran a hoof through his mane, down his neck, and then up to his chin and cheek. “I’ve missed you so much.” “Celestia.” Bean reached up and held her hoof where it was. “I don’t … I’m so sorry. I couldn’t… I didn’t…” Celestia kissed him once more. “Can you forgive me, my love? Can you excuse one of the worst mistakes I have ever made?” “You have no need of my forgiveness, my sweet Celestia. It is I who should be begging you.” “Do you still love me?” she whispered in fear. “Is there still room for me in your heart, despite the wrongs I have committed against you?” “I never stopped. Everything I did was because I loved you.” Celestia’s breath shuddered in relief and delight, and her wing wrapped even tighter around him. “This will never happen again, my love. I should have never sent you away. Your place, from now until the end of time, will be with me; and I will never let you go. Whatever the future may bring, we will face it together. I love you, my Baked Bean.” Bean let out a gasp of delight, and he buried his tears deep in Celestia’s silken coat. His Celestia was again his, and her love for him was stronger than ever. He could not ask for anything more perfect than that.