What is a mediocre villain to do these days? How in Equestria do you compete with the likes of Chaos gods and love-stealing shapeshifters? Ever since those Bearer brats found the Elements of Harmony and Princess Celestia's long-lost and kind-of-evil-but-not-really-in-the-end sister returned, nopony bats an eye at the small potatoes any more.

Small Potatoes himself just cannot take being relegated to the side lines any longer! He has one, glorious plan in the works, one that might finally see it - his name, that is - go down in history. He's going to do the one thing that villains all over Equestria have been failing to do since that fateful Summer Sun Celebration to stop the Guardians of Harmony once and for all.

He's going to hire somepony else to do the job for him.

[This story contains scenes about death, attempted murder, some blood and an injury described in light-moderate detail (and with a humourous bent, I'm hoping.)]

Twilight Sparkle is undeniably a prodigy and has the skill and knowledge of a unicorn five years her elder as well as the power of one as well. This knowledge and power has drawn Princess Celestia's attention, with the alicorn beginning to wonder if the young unicorn will be the one to fulfill an ancient prophecy that would save her sister. A prophecy that would have come to fruition, had the alicorn's own checkered past not come back to doom the filly to a life of fire and brimstone.

Go check out this story's sister story!
Updates twice a month!

Story So Far (Been awhile? Get up to speed by checking out this blog!)

A genuine oblivious simulator.

Watch as pony after pony, throw themselves at you!

And you simply act borderline retarded.

Contains Mild Cursing And Lots Of Sex Slang!

I Wrote This As A Gift To My New Mate MDCommissioner!

It's dumb and silly but I hope you still enjoy luv!

Art By PonutJoe, check source for link.

Bloody Featured On 1\19\20 & 1\20\20 & 1\21\20 & 1\22\20 & 1\23\20 & 1\24\20!

I was known as Frank DeFontaine. I was going to a Halloween party. I was a pretty intelligent kid, starting my first college term, and decided a little dress-up couldn't hurt.
My buddy Richard got involved, though. And like everything, he took it a bit too far. This time, I didn't say no, though. I really should have.
Next thing I know, we're going all-out on making my Dullahan costume. Because he's my favorite optional boss, and all.
Really shoulda known something was up when that guy behind the counter just so happened to have a sword that fit our specifications perfectly.
Next thing I know, I'm in Equestria. And I'm missing a head.
Sakes, I could use a drink. And a neck.
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Featured on 2/19/2014.
I'd like to leave it at "Holy mother of-!" but that doesn't capture what I'm feeling!

"In the beginning, there was nothing but all encompassing darkness that claimed all of existence within the void.
Yet even in this darkness, there was light.
A single speck of light that defied the shadows and slowly grew to encompass the known universe, bringing light to a once dark and dreary realm.
The being had wrested control from the void, yet it was not content.
With its power, it created the stars and planets that dot the seemingly infinite expanse of the universe.
This, was how the universe had truly come to be."
Creation of the universe according to the Church of Primis
Long ago, before the times of the princess's, the world stood divided. The father of the universe saw the hatred between the races of the planet, and sought to rectify his mistake of abandoning his creation, choosing to live amongst them once more.
This is where our story begins.

*Tags will be added as needed, or when the story. calls for it.*

Been featured like seven times now...wow, that's awesome, didn't think I'd even get it once.

You wake up in a land where magic is real and sapient ponies have built a civilisation. Being from a different universe, you have no understanding of their language or laws, but you're happy to have found yourself in the friendliest town there is. Good luck building a new life as their favourite... monkey thing.

Special talents.
That thing that sets ponies apart from each other and gives them a path in life. The one thing that they excel at, broadcast to the world by their cutie mark.
The spectrum of special talents is as wide as the day is long and twice as varied as you think it is.
But, interesting talent or mundane, everypony needs a job to put food on the table and not every talent lends itself to one.

After all, not everyone can be blessed with specific high-demand talents like "growing plants" or "cleaning" or "flying". Even less often does a pony get a particularly nebulous concept or multi-faceted skill like "magic" or "partying" that can apply to any number of jobs.

Sometimes, no matter how good you are at what you do, it's just not something you can make a career out of.

But for those unlucky few, there's a group filled with other ponies who face the same problem that they do.

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Editted and proofread by the wonderfully helpful NecroHorse!

This story is a sequel to Three Hoofwidths To The Left

There's nothing like a surprise library inspection for discovering code violations, especially when the pony conducting that examination is determined to find something. But Twilight keeps the tree running to her own standards, and that means true offenses are hard to come by. Really, there's just one little potential issue.

'Little' as in 'the crests come up slightly short of your spine. Oh, and it breathes fire.'

For some strange reason, the local trotting incarnation of bureaucracy has a problem with this.

(A stand-alone, no-prior-reading necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome. While this story takes place after the linked piece, no knowledge of those events is required.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Twilight is fed up having to take care of every threat to Equestria.
Especially since she is way too smart NOT to notice the discrepancy between Celestia's so called 'defeats' and the actual power she knows her mentor possesses.

Therefore, Twilight decides to kick Celestia's royal butt (figuratively) into dealing with all the villains herself again.

After all, the Princess of Friendship deserves some vacation, too.

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This is not really a crossover (therefore no tag), nor a ponification.
But I honestly think, that Saitama and Celestia share at least one similarity... when she wants to, that is.

Warning: Contains obvious fanboying and an accurately powered Celestia

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Very special thanks to DracoBlair for his thorough help with many details!
Please visit his DeviantArt-page: https://www.deviantart.com/dracoblair

AND also very special thanks to EquestriaStories vor his opinion and constructive criticism!
Please visit his DeviantArt-page, too: https://www.deviantart.com/estories
(Also my sincere apologies to EStories for not putting this credit here right from the beginning )

Song and magic are two parts of the same whole in Equestria. When Rose saw Anon, it was love at first sight, and as if to shake any doubt, she heard their song, the one they're meant to sing together. It was the happiest moment of her life.

Until she realized he couldn't hear it.

An RGRE story