• Published 19th Jan 2020
  • 11,986 Views, 196 Comments

You're Anon The Oblivious Human Equestrian Guy - Mystical

Everypony wants to shag you...too bad you're oblivious to it.

  • ...

One Simple Word.

Pinkie Pie watched you with unblinking ocean colored eyes.

You sat on the floor of her bedroom watching her just as intensely in return.

Time seemed to nearly stop.

The world seemed to merely fade away.

Pinkie nodded, the right words suddenly found.

“Sex?” She snorted cutely.

“Kay.” You smiled back full of warmth.

You've been waiting to hear that word all day.

Comments ( 114 )

Lol, I figured Pinkie was the most random of the six who could succeed where others failed.

But I agree, Fluttershy could've also been brilliant!


I was actually noticed by Senpai Priest! :rainbowkiss:

All of this made me chuckle out of my mouth instead of my nose :)

Wait......that worked?, smart move pink smart move.

Hmm...Pinkie would be the one not even try being subtle, would she. :rainbowlaugh:

I was only thinking Fluttershy via Flutterdom. :twilightblush:

I find being forward always leads to a good shag. :trollestia:

Could say it was a kick in the head. :ajsmug:

It's about time, lol

Please, please make a chapter to follow after Pinkie's success! I so want to know how the other girls react to it.

You've been waiting to hear that word all day.

So, was Anon ever oblivious? Cause just from this line it seemed he was screwing with everyone who used slang instead of the very direct approach Pinkie took

She asked for a bucking.

Should've offered a sucking.

Now she's all knackered out.



I simply couldn't say no to this fanfic! I had to read it! Between the imminent innuendo that was upon the first sight and the great reviews, this must be read! Since that's the case, I thought why the heck not!? Hope ya didn't mind, but I made this lil' reading! Writing was amazing in every aspect mang! Awesome job!

Audio Link: https://youtu.be/Kad_yAzIE2Y

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment!)

Cheers! 💞

That was a brilliant reading luv.

I'm delighted to hear you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

The damn ending. I... I have no words...

Only she, could've realized the answer

The others must bow to her wisdom

When all else fails, be direct. Now that I've reached the end, this makes a lot of sense, I'd probably do the same given how people would react if what they meant wasn't sex.

I was honestly expecting to find out that he'd been intentionally oblivious, just to screw with their minds.

This works just as well, though!

It's actually up to reader interpretation.

Depends if you want Anon to be a goof or a wanker.

That was a funny show.

For just these occasions. :rainbowwild:




This is brilliant!
You wrote a funny story about annon's shinanagins in Equestria, five of the mane six and a background pony in as few as two thousand words!

I'm taking notes.

Well then. Okay. I can't stop laughing!!!

Did Pinkie share her knowledge with the others?

Tonight's special guest star: Conan O'Brien.


I was wondering if any would guess the name's reference!!

Have a biscuit luv! 🍪

In my head cannon she's a total brag.

Souls are overrated.

Have a biscuit! 🍪


I see what you did there.



He went out to the euphemism and got run over by a paraphernalia wagon.

I have one. And pinkie has one too.

Much appreciated luv! :heart:

Such a rough time to try and pinpoint it!

This is like an anime or manga lol.

So I've been told. :rainbowkiss::heart:

Second time reading this, and I'm beginning to question whether or not Anon is really stupid, or if he's just a smartass.

No he only understands what they want if they say it bluntly to his face like pinkie pie did.

Actually it can be either.

Up to how you want to interpret it. :raritywink:

Perfection simply perfection. There's just enough to make Anon either the world's biggest dumbass or the ultimate troll but not enough to tell which. Bravo and a follow as well!!

Pink always wins.

Yeah, cuz just a simple letter would do.


Alternatively, he could have simply replied "Male.".

Sex: [_] Female [X] Male

That was autistdorable.

Well, l can get the hint.
So, where is everypony?:moustache:

Sex is not the answer. It is the question; the answer is yes

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