Rarity had invited you over for a lovely cup of tea. But to your surprise, it was just a guise to be able to question you about a few things. So here you sat if barely at a quite undersized pink-colored table, legs scrunched up at the sides of Equestria’s most petite little chair.
“Darling, I'm simply going to cut to the chase.” Rarity sat across from you sipping on a dainty glass of hot tea with a gaze of seriousness.
“Please do, I'm actually late for a date with Pinkie Pie.” You sipped from your own tiny cup, pinkie finger barely able to fit into the handle loop.
“The girls have told me about you dodging them.” Rarity flaunted her slender hoof towards you in curiosity.
“Dodging!? I've spent all day with them!” You snorted in a playful reply.
“No, that you won't buck them, darling.” Rarity smacked her lips casually expecting a reply.
“I kicked Applejack already, who else wants to be bucked?” You quirked a brow confused.
“No, I mean to shag.” Rarity narrowed her dark blue eyes annoyed.
“Who's too shaggy? Is it Rainbow?” You replied confused.
“Pound?” Rarity scrunched her muzzle cutely.
“A pound of what? Sugar?”
“Screw.” Rarity sighed.
“I left my tools at home.” You gave an absent-minded blink.
“To give them your dick!” Rarity tossed her teacup aside, rage growing within.
“I don't have a private investigator to give!” You tossed yours away too.
“COCK! -- I'M TALKING ABOUT GIVING COCK!!” Rarity lifted onto the table screaming wildly.
“Rarity, I don't raise chickens!!” You leaned inward matching her anger.
“Dear Celestia, you're thick!” Rarity scoffed with a frazzled mane.
You watched her gallop off in anger. The door of her adorable boutique slammed shut loudly behind her, leaving you alone with your thoughts.
How dare she call you fat!?
I can't believe Rarity called me fat.
Poor Applejack, she didn't know what she asked for... :)
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I know I am fat, but I can’t believe she told me I was thick...
Reminds me a little of "Moral Oral." That weird show about a kid with a pathological inability to understand metaphors in a town that relies on them.
Hahahahahahahaha
Like I said in the last chapter.... HAHA I AM LOVING THIS STORY IT WAS MADE BY A god TO LAUGH AT SIN!!!
Hahahhahaha love it!!!
I think he would have got it finally if she just dropped the metaphors.
how dose dick translate into private investigator xD
Damn gurl, he THICK
I should be utterly disappointed with his lack of knowledge, but I’m too busy laughing at this ending one-liner to care.
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It's an older slang term. It refers to either a private investigator, or a police officer. 1920s era, IIRC
He really should hire an investigator. Maybe then he could figure out what they all want.
I was getting these sort of vibes the longer it went, lol
imgflip.com/s/meme/American-Chopper-Argument.jpg
10046651
"Private Dick" is the full-term. Yes, I have watched a bunch of old noir/crime films and read Raymond Chandler.
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10055662
Yep. That. The fact that I get it means that I'm old. Ugh.
10055662
Personally, I haven't done any of that - I just thought of Dick Gumshoe, a detective in the Ace Attorney games.
While he's not a PI, he does handle investigations, so...still fits.
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10065234
I was thinking of an old classic: Dick Tracy.
Rarity: Dear Celestia your thick
Me: did you just assume my weight?
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Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands! Into the Mystery Machine!
Hey now!
I'm working on losing weight and shrinking my waist line!
I've spent a lot of money on sessions with a personal trainer!
Extra thicc
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The only personal trainer you need is yourself