• Published 19th Jan 2020
  • 10,201 Views, 191 Comments

You're Anon The Oblivious Human Equestrian Guy - Lil Biscuit



Everypony wants to shag you...too bad you're oblivious to it.

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One-Eyed Snake.

Rainbow Dash took pride in getting whatever she wanted. From whoever she wanted and whenever she wanted. You stood outside just below her totally awesome cloud house in the sky, neck craned towards the heavens in silence.

Droplets of warm water suddenly trickled down your cheek from high above. Swooping down from her cloud in one swift motion, Rainbow was fresh out of a warm relaxing shower. Her technicolor mane flat and glistening with the beautiful rays of the sun.

She was slender and built-in all the right places. Her rump a plump soft shape, muzzle pursed into a flirty little pout unlike any you have ever seen. She had heard about the other ponies who failed to catch your eye, but she wouldn't be one of them.

You felt beyond uncomfortable in front of this wet little mare. Watching as she swayed her rump in a sexy exaggerated motion. Lifting off her front hooves, she pressed femininely against your toned firm body.

Rubbing her delicate hooves across your chest, she let her warm breath caress over your neck in a truly flirtatious fashion. She had you perfectly in her grasp, one you would never escape. You shivered in anticipation and growing fear, watching in awe as the blue pegasus lifted her tail high to beckon for attention.

“Anon, can you check my bush?” She growled under her breath.

“Why?” You stuttered nervously.

“Mmm, to see if any one-eyed snakes are inside.” Rainbow jokingly smirked with a sly wink.

“Oh my Celestia!” You narrowed both eyes in place.


It might have taken six long hours. But you eventually were able to check all forty-two bushes that surrounded Rainbow's cloud house, not a single cyclops snake found in any of them. If you had to think of something, you probably figured it slithered off when you were not looking.

“Nope no…” You turned to face your friend with a proud smile.

Yet she wasn't anywhere to be seen.