For Hire: Will Work for Employment
A lone mare trotted up the streets of Canterlot to a very plain and boring-looking building. Against the majesty of the rest of the city, this building stuck out like an unsalted cracker on Celestia's cake trolley. She slipped a piece of paper from her pocket and checked the writing against the numbers dispassionately stenciled on the wall.
Yep, this was the place. Canterlot Civil Community Center.
Within its double doors, the inside was just as dull and utilitarian as the outside promised. A meager lobby with uninspiring furniture and a receptionist's booth manned by a hastily scribbled sign. She sighed in relief. No receptionist meant one less pony to talk to. Thankfully there was at least a signboard with directions so she wouldn't have to hunt one down. According to it, down the right hallway were rooms numbered 100 through 199, while down the left hallway were rooms numbered 1 through 99 and eventually was a flight of stairs going up to the second floor. She turned right.
The young mare's hoofsteps echoed along the empty hallway. She fished out her directions again and kept them in hoof, checking against every door as she passed. Most were silent and dark, but a few seemed to be occupied.
"125... 127... 129..." she counted off the door numbers as she went, "Ah, 131. Here it is." Behind this door lied either the answer to her problems or one more stop on the train of embarrassment that was the life of Melody Memory.
"Excuse me?" she interrupted, poking her head in through the door.
"Yes?" A matronly mare asked from the head of a group of ponies.
"Is this the meeting place for..." she checked the slip of paper, "Special Talent Support?"
The mare frowned. "No. You're looking for room 181 down the hall. This is 131, the Anxiety Awareness support group. We have this space reserved for Tuesdays and Thursdays."
"Wait, are we sure this is the right room?" a stallion among the group nervously asked. "Who was in charge of the booking? It wasn't my week was it?"
"Oh dear," a mare added, "what if it is, but we're just here at the wrong time?" She scrambled for her saddlebag. "Is it actually 5:00? Where's my clock, I need to check my clock!"
"Are we even sure it's the right day?" Yet another stallion exclaimed, "I had the lunch shift at work today. Do I have that on Tuesdays or Wednesdays? Oh sweet Celestia, I'm not sure!"
"What year is it?!"
Melody closed the door as quietly and discreetly as she could as the room continued to descend into utter pandemonium despite the counselor's best efforts. That was certainly not an encouraging way to kick off her first visit.
She continued down the undecorated hallway until she reached door number 181. She checked the address on her paper one last time and grunted in irritation as she noticed that a part of the 8 had actually been smudged away. So the mistake wasn't her fault. Essentially.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts, the action allowing a sprig of muted chartreuse mane to escape her ponytail. Was this really a good idea? Anything further from this point would involve admitting her... problem to more ponies than just her therapist. Did she really want to take that step? On the other hoof, if this group was everything Dr. Slip had said, then she might finally be able to meet ponies who could relate to her peculiar circumstances.
Well, she'd already embarrassed herself once today. How much worse could things get?
"Excuse me?" She nosed the door open slightly. "Is this the-"
"Ah! You must be Melodious!" the voice of an older mare suddenly interrupted her. "Come in, come in. I've been expecting you."
The room was just about as bland as one could design a room to be. A few plain, unadorned cinder block walls, thickly painted white. A general-purpose storage cabinet in the back alongside a few stacks of collapsible chairs and tables. A few of the chairs were set up in a loose ring in the center of the room in which sat five ponies, with an extra three chairs unoccupied.
The one who had spoken was an older earth pony with her greying mane tied up in a bun. She smiled warmly at Melody, clearly the leader of the group. "I'm Dr. Guiding Light. My friend Dr. Slip said you might be joining us this evening. Please, take any seat you'd like."
Ah. So that was how the mare knew who she was. Dr, Slip had told her already. Which meant he'd probably already told the new doctor about her case as well. So much for doctor-patient confidentiality.
But there was nothing to be done about it now, so she could only make the best of the situation. She smiled, as best she could overtop her bundle of nerves, and took the vacant seat between Dr. Light and a young stallion in a very fancy red and gold jacket.
An awkward silence filled the room, poured a cup of tea, and made itself thoroughly comfortable. Judging by the looks on everypony's faces, she'd walked right into the middle of a conversation and no one was comfortable picking the topic back up with a new and unfamiliar face present. Melody took the time to take a good look at the other ponies.
To her immediate left sat Guiding Light. From what Slip had told her, she was a retired psychologist who still helped out ponies with peculiar problems in her free time. Such as starting and leading this support group.
To her right was a pegasus youth barely old enough to be called an adult. His blueberry coat was almost fully covered by his jacket; a fine red thing covered in golden tassels and cords. He was tall and wiry with more leg than he really knew what to do with. Beyond him was the first empty seat.
An older pegasus sat across from Guiding Light. He seemed about her age, maybe a little younger, with only a few streaks of grey in his mane. He wore a brown tweed jacket, which pleasantly offset his grey eyes and distracted from his receding mane. He had the kind of face that reminded ponies of a somber uncle, probably one on their mother's side.
Next to him sat the kind of stallion that teen mares doodled pictures of in the margins of their highschool notebooks. He was broad and muscular and wouldn't have looked out of place in the royal guard, especially with his three-shades-of-cream-away-from-pure-white coat. His mane was long, so navy it was almost black, and moved like a living advertisement for conditioner. Oddly, he seemed the most nervous about her and refused to meet her gaze.
Beyond him was the second empty chair.
The final seat (to Guiding Light's left) was occupied by an earth pony who looked like she'd woken up on the wrong side of the bed three years ago and never fully recovered. Going by expression alone, if "irritability" or "peevishness" were Elements of Harmony, then she would have been a first draft pick. Seeing as how they were not, however, this left the golden-coated mare seeming somewhat perpetually disgruntled. From her glare, Melody assumed she had been the one talking before she'd had entered the room.
Guiding Light clapped her hooves suddenly, shattering the silence. "Well then, let me be the first to welcome you to our little group: Special Talent Support."
"Pfft. Are you still calling it that?" The grumpy mare asked with a roll of her eyes. "I thought we changed the name ages ago."
Guiding glanced at Melody while chuckling awkwardly. "Yes, while we do call it that other name in private and in jest, I still believe that our group's official registered name shines a somewhat more positive light on the subject matter, and our group as a whole. This is a positive place, remember?"
That earned her another eye roll. "Yeah, yeah. Hey," she turned her attention to the newcomer. "What'd you say your name was again?"
"I, ah, didn't yet, actually," Melody replied, a little unsteady from having been put in the spotlight so suddenly. "But it's Melodious. Melodious Memory. But most ponies just call me Melody."
"Well Melody," she spread her hooves in a grand sweeping gesture, "Welcome to the 'Unemployable Cutie Marks Society'."
A groan chorused through the room. "I thought we'd put that name to bed for good," someone groused.
Melody, however, took interest in it. Was that right? Could there really be this many ponies in the same boat as her? Bolstered by a hint of courage, there was only one way to find out.
"So, you all have special talents that no one will hire?"
"That would be the general gist of it, yes." The older stallion answered. "There's some case-by-case variation, of course, but the end result of not having a job is, effectively, the same between us all."
"On that note," Guiding Light redirected, "Now would be a perfect time for a round of introductions. Melody, as our guest, would you prefer to go first or last?"
"Ah, fir-" A sudden wave of nerves overtook her. Even if these other ponies had similar circumstances, she still had no idea to what degree they were similar. What if they were all so terribly unfortunate and downtrodden that her own problems sounded whiny and inconsequential by comparison? No, better to get a clearer picture of the room first. "Last. Please."
Guiding Light smiled understandingly. "That's perfectly alright. You can take your time to get ready. I know it's hard to open up about your problems to a group of strangers." She turned to the mare on her left. "Night? Would you care to start us off?"
"Not really," she huffed.
"You don't have to go into detail if you don't want to," Guiding coaxed. "Just your name and a little about your special talent."
"...Fine. Name's Silent Night and I can sleep anywhere," the mare fired off quickly and curtly. "There. I did my bit. Let's move on."
"Night," Guiding said slowly, "what have we said about being dismissive towards things you don't like to talk about?"
"That's it's not productive, yeah I know," she grumbled. "Fine then. My special talent is sleeping. I'm very good at it. Close my eyes for a few minutes and I'm guaranteed a good night's rest." She crossed her forelegs and glared at Melody. "And we've got a tradition here with newbies. Now it's your turn to tell me how I'm supposed to make a career out of that."
Melody froze, not prepared to have the tables turned on her and be suddenly put on the spot like that. Nervous, she blurted the first thing that came to her mind.
"Pillow tester?"
Night rolled her eyes, clearly a favorite habit of hers. "Oh wow, that's totally the first time anypony's ever suggested that. Even better than mattress tester. Great feedback I could give: 'Yes, I slept on it and it was fine.'" She snorted. "Featherbed, cheap foam mattress, a slab of rock on a moving cart; they're all the same to me."
Despite her initial reluctance, Silent Night apparently had quite a bit to say on the topic. "I've tried promoting insomnia pills and energy drinks. I've tried participating in scientific studies that need you to sleep for long periods with wires attached. The only thing I've really had much success in has been renting myself out to hold ponies' places in line, and that's a seasonal gig at best."
Melody's eyes widened as she took in Night's long litany of ways she had failed to utilize her talent to make a career. "I never realized having such a simple sounding special talent could cause so much trouble."
Night narrowed her eyes. "You calling my talent simple?"
"What? No, I-"
"Oh, you bet she is!" A new voice called from outside the circle. "Both it and you! You're only so good at sleeping because you don't have any complex thoughts to keep you up!"
Melody's ears flicked this way and that as she tried to pinpoint the source of the voice. After a moment she discovered the easier route of following everypony else's gaze toward a small table she hadn't noticed at the back of the room. Behind it, standing on a chair, was a small foal failing to suppress a mischevious smirk.
"...who left this sassy foal here?"
Guiding Light coughed. "Ah, that would be Berry Pinch. She's, well, her father's an old friend and there are special circumstances involved-"
"Pops has custody Wednesdays," the pinkish foal interrupted, "but he also has his AA meeting down the hall, so I hang out here. Plus I got just as much reason to fit in here as the rest of you. You want a drink?"
"I- Sure?" Melody offered lamely. "What do you have?"
"Don't worry about it. I know what you need."
This seemed a little odd, but then she noticed that everypony else already had a small disposable cup and was nodding that she should agree. "O-kay then."
The foal turned back to her table, which Melody now realized was more like a very crude bar. There were several brands and flavors of cola as well as a couple of different fruits, ice, and makeshift tools. As the filly got to work, Melody launched into the question that had been sitting in her mind.
"So, Berry-"
"Call me Pinch. Berry's my Mom's name."
"Okay, Pinch then. What did you mean by saying that you have as much reason to fit in here as anyone?"
Pinch turned on a small hotplate and placed a can of orange soda over it. "Oh, guess it's time for my sad sob story then? No objections? Alright."
"Like all these other unemployed bums, I can't get a job based on my cutie mark. And no, I am not too young for a job. I got my cutie mark last year."
She edged around the table and poked her flank out. Amidst the lavender fur was a silver tube surrounded by various sliced fruits and ice cubes. "Mixology," she explained. "Mom owns the tavern and brewery down the mountain in Ponyville. I've been helping her mix, brew, distill, and ferment every kind of drink under the sun since I was big enough to walk. She let me help at the bar, and I picked up a knack for knowing what kind of drink a certain pony's gonna like."
She cracked another type of cola open and squeezed something into it. "Once I got my cutie mark, I got even better. I can take one look at a pony and know exactly what the best drink for them would be based on what ingredients I have. I've been voted the tavern's favorite barkeep seven months in a row now."
Pinch sighed. "But it's not a real job, not when you're just helping at the place your mom owns. I wanted to go big, so I tried to get a part-time job here in Canterlot for when it's my dad's days." She slammed a hoof on the table, making all the bottles jump and wobble. "That's when I found out that some noble, way back three hundred years ago, made a law that you have to be at least twenty-one to even work with alcohol! Twenty-one!"
Her hoof slammed the tabletop again. "I have a cutie mark. That makes me an adult! But the most anypony here'll even let me touch is cider, the stuff that couldn't get a baby tipsy. No one cares how talented I am, or how I have more practical experience than their current bartenders, or how I can make a passable Cloudsdale Shooter with only vodka, liquid rainbow, and a coffee filter! All they see is my age."
She slammed a cup on the counter, poured two other cups into it, and sent it sailing forward into Melody's startled grip with her magic. "Now drink this and tell me it's not the best thing you've ever had."
Melody took the drink with a small note of reluctance. True, the filly had just gone on, at length, about her extensive skills. Also true that everypony else seemed to be enjoying her concoctions. But still, she couldn't quite shake the idea that this was a bunch of random and unknowable liquids boiled, shaken, and stirred by a filly she only met only minutes ago. She took the smallest possible sip, ready to discreetly spit it back out if it was terrible.
Instead, her eyes lit up as smooth and tangy flavors caressed her senses. "This... this is fantastic!"
Pinch smiled knowingly. "Orange screwdriver. Or as close as I could get with no vodka and reduced orange cola for Curaçao. You're welcome."
"Alright, with Pinch done I suppose the next for introductions would be-"
"Me." The large and handsome stallion said suddenly.
Guiding Light looked concerned. "Lucky... One of us can summarize your situation if you want. I know it's still a recent wound for you."
He shook his head, making his mane wave like a banner. "No. I will tell. Will be helpful to me to tell it more."
Lucky, as Guiding Light had called him, had a curious accent. His thick vowels seemed oddly enunciated and the sounds of a few letters seemed swapped or exaggerated. Melody had never met a Yak, but she'd heard one in passing once. Lucky sounded like a Yak who knew proper grammar. He cleared his throat with a sip of his drink and started.
"Nice to be meeting you. I am Lucky Die. Before I tell you why I cannot get job, you should be knowing something. I am... not from here." A sadness entered his voice as he continued. "Home is... gone now, but telling you may help understand. When I was colt, I lived in what you call 'Old Stalliongrad'. But to us, was just Stalliongrad. It was cold and we were small, but we got by. My papa, he traded goods with Yak settlements over mountain, and I was village prognosticator. One day, Papa fell ill, so I made his delivery for him. To Crystal Empire."
"To what?" Melody accidentally blurted in surprise, before she blushed in embarrassment. "Sorry."
He waved off her worry. "Is fine. I am being used to such reaction. But yes, even under tyrant ponies need to buy goods from outside. While I was in city, Sombra cast curse that sealed whole city, including me, away."
His shoulders sagged as he continued. "The next thing I was knowing, I am in time where no pony needs prognosticator anymore. No need to predict weather when pegasi make plans weeks ahead. There is unicorn-magic spell to predict foals. And food is so plentiful that nopony worry for planting in poor land. I am... what is modern word? Obsolete."
Melody nodded in sympathy. It was a far cry from her own situation, but despite some lingering questions, she could see parallels. It reminded her of her grandfather. Forty years of experience hauling cargo carts hadn't meant much to ponies hiring young stallions to pull their trains. That aside, these were some things that needed clearing up. "I don't mean to interrupt, but what's a prognosticator?"
Lucky Die turned to the group leader for direction. "Should I stop? Explain talent?"
Guiding Light nodded. "It's your story, Lucky. Deliver it however you feel most comfortable."
He turned back to Melody and continued. "My talent is letting me know the outcome of something if I know everything about it's... it's... what is modern word... it's initial conditions."
"I... don't think I follow," Melody apologized.
"Back home, we would say I could predict future."
"Do the die thing!" Pinch interrupted suddenly. "Everypony gets that."
Lucky paused, but nodded and retrieved a die from within his mane. He offered it to Melody. "Roll and you will see."
Curious, she took the die and gave it a casual toss. The instant it left her hoof, Lucky spoke. "Five." Sure enough, after bouncing off a chair leg and spinning on point, the die came up five.
"Again," he instructed.
And so she did. A second roll. A third. A fourth, fifth, and sixth roll. Each one Lucky predicted perfectly the instant the die became airborne. Practicality aside, it was an impressive display.
"Once it leaves your hoof," he explained, "I know speed, spin, everything, and know how it will end up."
"That's amazing!" Melody exclaimed, her imagination running wild with childish ideas of the applications of such a skill. How could a stallion with a talent, no, a gift like this need to be in a support group? "Why haven't you taken this to Las Pegasus?"
Somepony swore under their breath and another chuckled. Bits discreetly changed hooves out of the corner of her eye.
"You are not first to suggest this," he replied with a small smile, "and I tried, but it is seeming like games were made with my kind in mind. I can tell I have lost slot machine before spinning stops, and you cannot bet on roulette after ball has been dropped. Ponies lie and bluff with cards, so I know nothing."
"Oh..." Melody didn't have a proper response to that. She mentally chastised herself. Of course somepony would have suggested that before, gambling would be the most obvious suggestion to somepony who can apparently predict the future. She was just as bad as the ponies who kept suggesting the same career to her over and over again. In fact, it seemed that every time she had opened her mouth thus far, she'd said something unhelpfully obvious.
"I suppose I would be next then," The older stallion's voice filled the empty air as he cleared his throat.
"Oh boy, here he goes again," muttered Night, which earned her a sharp look from Guiding Light.
"Thirty years," he began in a tone that sounded practiced. "Thirty years of my life I spent studying the stars. Recording their size and luminosity. Mapping their paths and trajectories. Theorizing about their composition based on color and spin. Thirty years of careful, painstaking, devoted effort."
He scowled. "And then that infernal Princess Luna showed up."
He spat her name like it was poison, with the vitriol usually reserved for well-known criminals who got off scot-free thanks to a clerical error.
"My life was perfect until she showed up." The aged stallion adopted a mocking falsetto. "This star, which thou dost calleth Lapin-4, one of middling brightness in the southern sky? Nay, the stars be-eth my domain, yon knave. We decree its name hence to be Archer and it shall be the brightest of lights in the east for this fortnight."
His ears flattened against his scalp as the mocking energy left him. "What is the point in charting the heavens if they can be changed on a single pony's whims? You might as well hire somepony to chart the location of fireflies or water skimmers for all the lasting good it will do you."
Lucky Die leaned over and gave the distraught stallion a tender pat on the back. He sniffed back his overflowing emotions and regained his composure. "I apologize for my behavior. It is a... rather difficult subject for me."
"It's alright Cosmic Dust," Guiding eased. "You're in a safe space. Everypony here can relate in one way or another, right?"
There were nods and murmurs of general agreement.
"Yes, I know we are not alone in this situation. Myself especially; nearly half the staff at my old observatory has been let go since the princess returned."
There was a moment of somber silence.
"On a brighter note, I have some good news, actually," the stallion dressed in red and gold finery announced. "As you can probably tell from my uniform, I finally got a job!"
Congratulations and light applause poured from the collected group. Once it died down, Guiding Light cleared her throat. "That's wonderful, Drizzle! I knew you could do it!"
Drizzle smiled. "Thanks! Since our last meeting, I got hired as a bellcolt at the Waldorf Horstoria. They even gave me this fancy uniform."
Melody clapped along with them, though not without a note of regret. In the place she'd hoped to find camaraderie with others who couldn't get a job, someone there had already found one. But it wasn't going to do her any good to dwell on it. "So what is your special talent then? Something to do with bags or maybe speedy deliveries?"
"Well, actually no, my special talent is for umbrella repair." He lifted one of the tasseled tails of his uniform, revealing a cutie mark of an umbrella with the canopy inverted. "And the hotel does have a number of umbrellas in storage that they keep in case a guest needs one, so sometimes I repair those during the slower shifts." He smiled proudly. "By my estimations, I can save the hotel almost thirty bits a year by repairing them myself instead of replacing them."
Melody forced the smile to stay fixed on her face. "That's... good," she said, not wanting to dampen the chipper young stallion's mood. Considering the Waldorf was one of the most high-class hotels in Canterlot, thirty bits was probably about enough for the cheapest item in their minibars. But, a job was a job, and he was getting to use his talent, if a bit ineffectively.
She was snapped out of her thoughts by a subtle touch on the shoulder from Guiding Light. "Well my dear, I believe that brings us to you if you would give us the pleasure of getting to know you."
Here it was. Melody was glad she was sitting down, otherwise she feared her nerves might just shut down her legs.
"Ah, okay. Right." She took a deep breath. They'd all told their stories so it was too late for her to back out now. She just needed to imagine she was somewhere else. Like a session with Dr. Slip. He was easy to talk to. She could do it if she pretended it was just him. "My name is Melodious Memory, and I have a talent for remembering music."
There was a pause as she collected her thoughts, before she was suddenly interrupted. "Is that it?"
"Night!" Guiding Light scolded.
"What?" the mare rebuked. "She's good with music? That's not an unemployable skill. Like, ten percent of ponies have a music talent. Just go be a singer or something."
Melody took a deep breath. She couldn't falter here. She just had to remember; she'd heard it all before. Every possible snide comment or insistent suggestion that she just wasn't applying herself. Now was the time to address the excuses that others heaped on her. "Yes. You're right. It is a common talent. And that's exactly my problem. There are a lot of ponies with a talent for music and because of that, only the best of the best get to make a career out of it. Other ponies have a knack for singing or one instrument in particular, but my talent is different. I'm only good at remembering music. Play it for me once, and I can recite it back to you, word for word, note for note. But ask me to sing it or play it?" She shook her head. "I'm no better than anypony else."
Silent Night's expression gave Melody a strange sense of satisfaction. It landed somewhere between shock and sudden realization that she'd just done to Melody exactly what everypony had always done to her. "Well," she started as a blush crept across her cheeks, "I sure put my hoof in my mouth there."
"No more than usual," Pinch snapped back.
"I agree with Pinch," Cosmic added solemnly. "That was harsh, even for you."
Lucky Die and Drizzle nodded in agreement.
"Ugh, fine, I get it." Silent Night turned back to Melody and turned her expression down a few notches. "I'm sorry. You're here for the same reason we are and have probably been through the same kind of treatment as the rest of us. Ponies telling you what you should do, not listening to why that doesn't work, and blaming you for not being proactive enough in looking for a job. So... sorry."
It was poorly delivered, but Melody could tell she was being sincere in her own way.
"No, it's alright. I get it." She smiled. It was... odd, but what was undeniably true was that this mare, no, all of the ponies here had been through the same things she had. Maybe not in quite the same way or under the exact same circumstances, but that didn't matter. Besides, it was time to turn the tables on the mare. "So then. Now that I've done my part, do you also have to try and suggest jobs for me?"
"Shoot, we forgot to keep up with that after she did Lucky," Pinch quietly cursed. "I missed so many potential snappy comebacks."
"I... uh..." Silent Night looked around the room for support. Much to her dismay, she found only grim smiles.
"Sorry Night," Cosmic Dust chuckled. "You did bring up that old tradition."
Eventually, Night laughed a little as well. "Yeah, alright. You got me. Let's see..." She leaned back in her chair, balancing it on two legs. "So you're only good at memorizing music, right?"
"Right."
"Nothing special with singing or playing."
Melody nodded.
"Hm. Yeah, that is a toughie. I guess you could make copies of music for like, sheet music publishers or something."
Nice try, but too late. "They have a spell for that. Makes hundreds of perfect copies in a second."
"Really? Huh, who knew?" Night leaned back a little too far and nearly fell out of her chair, saved only by a few sudden flaps of her forelegs.
"You could transcribe music for composers," Cosmic Dust offered. "Listen as they riff and freestyle, then note it down for them."
"Not really a position ponies hire for," Melody corrected. Not that she hadn't tried almost exactly that. Her musical family had pulled every contact they had in the industry to try and find something that would fit. If they couldn't do it in three years, she doubted this group would in three minutes. "Besides, most composers that good can remember their own music, and even then there are audio recording spells."
"Well, I'm stumped!" Silent Night finally abandoned her balancing act and let the chair topple over as she used the momentum to launch herself forward. She landed right in front of Melody, hoof outstretched. "Looks like you're one of us after all: completely unemployable." Melody returned the shake with a small smile.
"Hey uh... I do have a job now, just... so you know." Drizzle cut in awkwardly.
"And I don't think any less of you for it," Night smirked back, completely straightfaced. "Hey, c'mere." Melody found herself suddenly pulled into a one-legged embrace. What was this new side of Silent Night? Where had the grumpiness gone?
"A toast!" she declared, "to our newest member. We may not have jobs, but at least we made a friend along the way!"
"Here, here!" the rest chorused out, each raising their plastic cups high before drinking as one.
"Strange," Cosmic Dust murmured under his breath, "Night doesn't usually get this supportive unless..." He sniffed subtly in the direction of her cup. "Night, do you have alcohol?"
The mare grinned and took a long pull. "It's medicinal."
Suddenly Pinch was at the center of their group, inhaling deeply. "It's bourbon! Gimmie! I can make us Old Fashioneds!" She kicked Night in the shin. "Also, don't mess with my recipes by adding extra ingredients."
Guiding Light glared across the room with the intensity of an incensed librarian. "Silent Night don't you dare give that filly alcohol. This is a government-owned building. And you remember what happened last time."
"But Dr. Guiding Light," Pinch's usually sarcastic tone took a sharp turn for sweet and innocent. "Didn't you say that I should keep practicing my special talent, so when the opportunity comes for a job I'll be ready?"
The doctor faltered. "Well, yes, but..."
"Yeah," Night joined in. She was unable to pull off sweet and innocent, but she tried anyway. "You wouldn't want to stunt a filly's chances at success in life. What if she grows up and turns out like the rest of us?"
"I feel I should take offense to that," Cosmic Dust commented, "But I suppose I could be placated with one of those aforementioned Old Fashioneds."
"Cosmic, not you too," Guiding Light moaned. "You're supposed to be on my side here. Help me keep these rebellious young ponies in check."
"Technically," Lucky's rumbling voice cut in, "I am oldest of all of you. And I, for one, would like proper drink. No offense, Pinch."
She waved it off. "Oh none taken, I'm with you on this. Now lemme have it, Night, or I'm going on strike."
"You need a job to go on strike," Light pointed out.
"Then I'm already one step ahead of the game!"
Amid the laughter that followed, Melody considered the strange, strange ponies before her.
They were an unusual and rowdy group. Sometimes quiet and reflective, other times loud and energetic. A group to discuss her troubles with, but also to help her forget them for a while. Certainly nothing like her dry discussions with Dr. Slip, and even less like the more traditional younger-pony-oriented job-hunting groups she had joined before. She smiled as Pinch cracked another wisecrack at Night's expense, and Lucky told Drizzle the exact odds of Guiding Light caving to the group's opinion. Despite her earlier misgivings, this place held a unique charm that she hadn't seen before. Maybe, just maybe, this group was just what she'd been looking for after all.
And for once, no one had asked her to prove that she couldn't sing.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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A wonderful story,I'd love to read more about all of these ponies lives!
Hey that's pretty good
Definitely a unique take on pony society. I never would have thought of ponies having talents that would be considered unemployable, but most ponies also aren't tied to their cutie marks being their only talent. The cutie mark was supposed to not only signify a unique talent, but also the joy that ponies feel while doing it. To think that some ponies would have talents for things they would love doing, but couldn't find work with them is a topic i hadnt considered.
That's quite the intriguing subject. I would like to continue hearing about their misfortunes and talking about their problems. Like there are probably jobs that don't care for your cutie mark. Thankless jobs, dangerous jobs, horrible jobs, disgusting jobs, illegal jobs, degrading jobs, etc. How working those and how it affects them, how their co-workers with appropriate mark treat them, etc. There is more to tell on this subject...
I was surprised to not see a pony who was court appointed to join the group because he was caught doing something illegal because he could find a job.
Or it could be interesting to see a pony from Starlight Glimmer brain washing village who lost their cutie mark for a while.
For some reason, I now picture Luna making (faraway) stars explode via supernova "because it looks pretty" on a whim as a fireworks "event" or something.
Well, when you have a subset of people, they're still people. I read Pinch almost like Cozy for some reason.
Heartwarming
At least in our world, you can bet on roulette after the ball is released, there is a point as it slows down when they close betting. Though the rules are clearly different between the worlds.
As for Las Pegasus, he's thinking about it the wrong way. You don't go there to win, you go there to stop others from cheating. He knows that the result of the dice or ball should be, so if it starts coming up different... well that's worth looking into. Does it only work for immediate events? Can he look back at past events and work out what the outcome should have been? That could also be useful for catching cheaters as well, or trying to find where lost things ended up.
I would also wonder if his ability would work in reverse? Can he work out what the properties should be based on the actual outcome of events? That could be useful in investigations of all sort, both criminal and academic. Twilight would love to have someone who she can tell all about an experiment from two centuries before and have him be able to tell her what caused the outcome.
9809295
His in particular is where you start to get into fuzzy territory of cutie mark cause and effect.
Does Twilight have a magic cutie mark because she's especially good at magic, or is she especially good at magic because she has a magic cutie mark?
I've read stories that argue it both ways really well, so I tried to stay mostly neutral on it with this. Though Lucky's does lean a bit towards the "granted ability" end of the scale.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders would be very interested in these guys.
9809213
On the other hand, are there Ponies which get Cutie marks for things they're good at at but they don't really want to do for a living? Imagine being the Pony who gets stuck with a sewer grate and a poop emoji for a cutie mark, or the one with a pickaxe and a ditch?
Do they have research labs in Equestria? Knowing in advance which new drugs/potions are going to work or have bad side effects would be extremely valuable...
As a person with a masters who is working night security at a park...I felt this.
This is actually quite fantastic. The pacing is excellent, the writing good, and the characters each unique and well described without having info dumps about them shoehorned in. A very enjoyable read.
You probably mean “Civic”
Had a similar discussion about Cutie Marks on one of Estee’s stories
Let X = Number of jobs in a particular field) (brain surgery, mopping the floor afterword, or sending out the bill. Doesn’t matter)
Let Y = Number of ponies with a Cutie Mark for it
Now, as long as X <= Y, there’s competition & only the best get jobs at it
BUT if X > Y, then you’ve got a problem.
Consider the number of people needed to mop floors & scrub toilets vs
the number of ponies with a Cutie Mark in it
(Remember, you have to LIKE it to get your mark in it. Does anyone really like doing these things?)
So, you want a menial job? Garbage collector, chambermaid, janitor, waiter, etc. ?
They probably don’t give a rat’s ass what’s on your ass.
Their only question is “You willing to do it for what we’re willing to pay? You’re hired.”
On the other hand, you need an operation. If all goes well, you’ll be fine. One mistake & you’ll die.
Do you want a surgeon whose Cutie Mark indicates that they’re really good at:
A) Glassblowing
B) Floral arrangement
C) Watersports
D) Surgery, or at least medicine
In short, these folks could probably get a low paying, dead end job in any of a hundred fields
Just not one that takes any real skill & NOT one that they’ll like very much
there are a hell of a lot of gambling games where knowing how things would happen from Observed Starts would let you win. Heck, the "Look At The Funtionality Of my Ability" example you provided is basically Him Winning At Craps
9809838
The problem with it is that in Equestria, due to these types of cutie marks, they'd never really take off. No one would ever play them but the people with that type of cutie mark, due to not wanting to lose constantly, and then it'd die out pretty rapidly. Though, if his works how he says it does, in that once an event is set in motion, he knows the outcome, it could be very useful in dangerous experiments.
Lucky would probably have a good position within the Royal Guard. His talent may not be 'on demand', but it's the sort of thing that would tend to pop up and make itself unbelievably useful at random. I'm kind of surprised nopony'd thought of that.
Has Cosmic and/or his associates tried bringing their problem to Luna? I, honestly, hate the "bring all problems to the Princess" trope, but this seems like something she would take an active interest in, even if just for her own personal study.
Given the description of Melody's talent, it seems she would be able to know if she has heard a piece before and how it differs from other pieces. She might be able to find work as a historian of music, recording and studying how songs change over time. Given the musical nature of ponies, that could be a surprisingly important job.
Drizzle and Night are probably the two toughest. Drizzle simply has a talent too specialized to be generally useful, though if he lived somewhere that saw significant rainfall, he might be able to make a regular hobby of it. Night has a talent that is personally useful, but not useful to others, and therefor, difficult to turn a profit on. She may have some luck focusing on jobs/professions that require irregular sleep schedules.
Just my two bits.
I feel Lucky could make a living predicting the stock market. If Melody can remember a beat and lyrics, she'd make a great storyteller or Shakespearian actor. Something where you have to recite something memorised.
As for umbrella repair man, umbrellas are used a lot in photography and there's also those big ones they use on tables. And what's great now is every time I see something umbrella related in gonna say to myself "would an umbrella repair man help here?"
9809913
That is true, if she can sleep at the drop of a hat then her sleep pattern is whatever she says it is. Dunno about it being the lynchpin of a career, but it would probably make overtime hours much more bearable.
I liked this. Thank you for the writing.
I like this! I'd definitely love more. Melody seems like a really interesting character. A music-talented pony...with no actual musical talent. Maybe she could work for Octavia in some way? Copying her new compositions down? Or perhaps trying her own hand at mixing music? Vinyl proves that you don't need to sing or play an instrument to use musical talent. Melody might be a badass DJ. She'd be able to remember literally every song she played, so with her, no song would ever be played several times a night or whatever. Maybe she could apprentice under Vinyl.
9810026
The trouble with that is this: Would it cost me more time and money to get this umbrella repaired than it would to replace it outright?
In most cases, that answer is a resounding Yes. That's probsbly the major issue that Drizzle has, and why he can't get work. I suppose he could try and learn to fix more things, become a general repair pone, at least the prospects of that are a little better.
I'm getting the impression that some (all?) of them would be able to combine their talents in some way to produce something that there would be a demand for. Can't quite see the shape of it, though. Of everypony, though, Drizzle seems to be the linchpin. He's simply too specialized. I'd speculate that his cutie mark or talent is going to undergo a reinterpretation, perhaps a metaphoric one. He repairs or maintains things which protect ponies... that could be anything from shields to weather domes to economic policies. Or stopping ponies from getting affected by weather might extend to some kind of weather control ability.
Cosmic has the ability to catalog and recall (and correlate?) vast amounts of information about thousands of similar data points. That's got to be useful. Lucky's prediction talent could be useful for uncontrollable storms, effects of artifact magic, safety inspections, defect checks... I wonder if he could also break encryption just by looking at it and seeing the future result of (say) a thousand years of automated decryption attempts? And that's assuming he can't predict approximately based on incomplete information, such as sports betting, economic forecasting, marketing, political predicting, or just knowing what ponies are likely to say next.
Melody is the perfect covert data courier and storage device. Convert information to music, play it to her, and she could recite it back perfectly days or years later, without ever having to carry the information physically or even know what it meant. Pinch seems more like a food-industry chemical engineer or marketer than a bartender; a boutique one, perhaps, with maybe an adult pony as a front for the first few years (and maybe afterward, given that customer relations don't seem to be her strong point).
Night is interesting. She feels like she should be in Luna's service somehow. Or maybe she could learn to astral-project while asleep; that'd practically be a superpower if she could call on it at any time. Or maybe find work somewhere which requires onsite living but is perpetually hard to sleep in - constantly noisy, or bright, or afflicted with strong smells, or some such. Or... network sleeping ponies' minds together? Put that talent together with Cosmic, Lucky, and Melody, and they'd form an amazing data collection, processing, and predictive team. Add Drizzle to the mix and they'd be a near-unstoppable predict-and-protect service.
This needs to be brought up to Celestia. This is a support group, not a Crown-sponsored work program to get people jobs. Especially for the astronomers who were fired because Luna took back the night - there's no good reason Celestia wouldn't compensate them or create new jobs for them since apparently Luna couldn't be bothered to.
That aside this was funny and good feels, making an enjoyable read.
Someone tell Yearling about Lucky's talent and she'd probably drag him off on all of her adventures. He sounds like the ultimate trapspringer.
9809306
A nice little tale. Well done.
one of the fics that hits home. I was a bit worried about reading this. But it was funny in a good way. I feel I can relate to these characters.
Martial arts one of the few hobbies I do. Not sure how to make money with that. Yes yes I hear you say go "fight in the ring" no rings where I live and also even if I win a fight I would still get injured. Which would be fine a few times but I could not make a career out of it. Or go be a security guard. Martial arts is such a small fraction of a part of that. And also depending on the security guard job you might not even be allowed to get into a fight without having your job at risk. I have a few other examples but that one is the most cut and dried.
I like this, it's a great idea and premise for a story and has potential to become a full story and not a one-shot fic.
If she can perfectly recite the lyrics to any piece of music she hears.... surely she can memorize anything, so long as someone sings it to her?
She could have multiple doctorates from the mnemonics alone...
this is a great story, please continue it!
This is the problem of building a society were magical marks in your rump determine your position, rather than personal talent or efforts.
9809215
I wonder how Luna would feel abou ponies stopping studying the wonders of the night because of her. It would be quite the irony.
9809913
ummm.....
........
...
Princess Luna is the entire source of his problems...?
Anyone else see Cosmic’s complaint and immediately think of Sharing the Night? Aside from that, what a lovely little story. The concept reminds me of Estee’s works, but in a good way.
9810881
Her return from banishment is the source of his problems, not her personally. I suspect that if he were to get past his grudge there would be a lot to learn from each other.
9810850
Well, in context to my comment, if that happens and the public stops caring about the night, she can probably make stars blow up on command just to garner public interest; there's 100 billion stars in the typical galaxy for instance; she can make an amazing display literally every single night for the next billion years and still have enough to show off. Dazzling supernova fireworks party every night.
Alternatively go Nightmare Moon again, but threaten to make the Sun go supernova if they don't love her.
Melody could probably get a job at a music shop. Especially if ponies were trying to find a certain song, but didn't know the title and artist. Sing her a line or two that you remember, and boom, she can tell you the name and artist, then just need to go see if the shop has it.
This is one of the best fics I've read on here in a while. Really took me back to that S4 feel.
I don't know why but I can suddenly see a sequel to this where Princess Luna is sued in international court for fucking up navigation for non ponies as well as basically making a mockery of the field of astronomy. A satisfying end result would be Princess Luna being given a permanent injuction that bans her from moving the stars without a supermajority vote in favor of it by an international astronomy association of sorts. Make the comedy be in that Luna has perfectly good reasons for changing the night sky but she's completely oblivious as to the negative effects of such actions.
Lol, I had an almost similar idea to this
A great read as always, here's hoping for Lucky to find a job, he's really out of time.
Also, if they don't have jobs (besides Drizzle) then what supports them?
9809913
Well, if Drizzle still wants to do weather stuff, maybe he can find a niche in Ponyville, predicting whatever weirdness is gonna come out of the Everfree next.
If he can get to our world though, I bet there are countless organizations prepared to pay thousands for his skills.
9811112
Given there's an entire observatory worth of people whose now defunct. I'm pretty sure it may have been brought up before.
I think perhaps this explains both why royal guard armor covers the flank and their general incompitence. The majority of the guard do not have military related marks, or have effectively useless marks. So they aren't very good at the job as it isn't their talent, and the armor hides the marks so enemies and the public can't tell which of the guards are actually effective ones. But sadly the handful of militarily talented guards are used to form specialist units or just can't make up for the lady of skill in the unit.
If you have no marketable skills, you can always join the infantry. You'll fit right in.
How long is "a few minutes?" If Night can get the equivalent of 8 hours from 15 minutes, that's an extra 7 hours and 45 minutes in the day. That's a lot of time she could use for a job with very long hours, or she could get a lot of extra studying done if she was in law school or medical school or something.
okay, real attempt at job hunting here. starting with the obvious and moving down
Lucky: one of three options depending on the limitations on his talent.
A, a CSI. imagine him walking into a crime scene and just, sherlock holmsing the exact chain of events that happened. "they came in that window, hid behind that dresser. there was a scuffle here. there's blood on that broken vent cover, try a tracking spell on that, and they left out the front door into the street."
B, if it can work with macro scale things, and apparently he used to predict crops and weather so it ought to. then economics and trade. the stock markets. he could make a killing there. or maybe let him in on some prophesies and whatnot, see if he can predict magical disasters.
C, com.bat. dude, can you imagine fighting a guy who can basically see the future. blocking and striking with almost robotic precision? imagine him in a boxing ring? Lucky would be an absurd prize fighter.
Night: mainly 2. but both for the same reason
A, enlist. I have a buddy who did right out of highschool. and apparently the one talent just about all infantry develop is the ability to get sleep wherever they can. if she can sleep on exposed rocks and under open sky, and be chipper and dandy when she wakes up. then yeah.
B, really anything involving the wilderness for long periods. like a park ranger or something. once she gets a handle on the other aspects involved, her ability will make things much. much easier
Melody: just the one really. but like.... it seems easy?
she can recite music, note by note and word by word. so, set something else to music, and she has perfect recall? if she were to set the periodic table of elements to the tune of the can can. then she now has them completely memorized. she can really go into whatever field she wants. just make little jingles for the hard data you need. like, math equations or chemical mixtures. hell, she could be a lawyer, little jingles and whatnot for every law act and by-law in the books and boom.
Pinch: hon. just .. just open a club catering to people who don't drink alcohol. or recovering alcoholics, your dad's in AA so like... easy market. when you get older, open a second floor or a late night menu and you're solid. mocktails are a thing. make them. the fact that her talent works with non alcohol means that she can like... mix her own sodas and milkshakes and whatnot. open a soda shop for now. and suck it up for a few years.
Drizzle: umbrella repair is pretty damned niche..... but. there's bound to be demand in more weather intense areas. plus, not all umbrellas are for keeping you dry. camera men use them to focus light. and there's some like, foldy satalite dish things for parabolic microphones.
Cosmic: .... wow he got made redundant Literally overnight. yeah, making some higher powers aware that they just totally invalidated a whole field of science. and getting foreign backing in the way of sanctions would help. like, night navigation just took a turn for the impossible. gather a list of names. potentially several pages thick. and go to Celestia's court. get the Zebra's involved. (and depending on the timeline) also the hippogriffs..... maybe the buffalo. they all probably do, or have in canon been observed using the stars to navigate. though we never heard what his Talent actually IS. just what he used it for......
9811908
No, I think what Night means is that he can sleep anywhere, as in, that is his special talent, not the ability to get a whole night's sleep in just a few minutes. You read the sentence wrong. It was meant as Night can close his eyes for just a few minutes and go to sleep no matter where he is and sleep for an entire eight hours.
Great story. The OCs were interesting. Here's to hoping a sequel comes with the CMC helping out
9811845
Or you're thinking way to hard and the "incompetence" is because if the Royal Guard went and beat all the enemies it wouldn't nearly be as much "Friendship is Magic".
I read a story about Starlight removing cutiemarks for cash...
like if you are very talented to ermm... be helpful with.... adult things..... and such stuff.
Just tattoo yourself a new one after ! (you get % on that^^)