• Member Since 18th Oct, 2018
  • offline last seen March 14th


Uncompromising Celestia-Loyalist! ;-)


Twilight is fed up having to take care of every threat to Equestria.
Especially since she is way too smart NOT to notice the discrepancy between Celestia's so called 'defeats' and the actual power she knows her mentor possesses.

Therefore, Twilight decides to kick Celestia's royal butt (figuratively) into dealing with all the villains herself again.

After all, the Princess of Friendship deserves some vacation, too.


This is not really a crossover (therefore no tag), nor a ponification.
But I honestly think, that Saitama and Celestia share at least one similarity... when she wants to, that is.

Warning: Contains obvious fanboying and an accurately powered Celestia :trollestia:


Very special thanks to DracoBlair for his thorough help with many details!
Please visit his DeviantArt-page: https://www.deviantart.com/dracoblair

AND also very special thanks to EquestriaStories vor his opinion and constructive criticism!
Please visit his DeviantArt-page, too: https://www.deviantart.com/estories
(Also my sincere apologies to EStories for not putting this credit here right from the beginning :fluttercry: )

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 342 )

Oh dear lord, this one's going to be a riot... I can tell.

The moment I saw the thumbnail I almost fell off of my chair from all that laughing I did.

and the actual power she knows her mentor possesses.

Funny thing that canonically princesses ungodly powerful - Berrytwist said that their power equivalent to a "hundreds of armies". But... yeah.

Funny. Don't like what you did to lovecrafts creation, but I like everything else

Even with her cake based fibre intake? Impressive. Has she tried vindaloo washed down with prune juice? It’s basically a digestive nuke.

Considering that, canonically, she was the Element of Kindness... I can kind of see this. [Friendship/Magic. Generosity. Kindness.]

Why doesn't she just use magic I mean put them in a bubble suffocate them till they are unconscious. Alternately use her own magic to restrain herself or simply drop really heavy objects on them repeatedly.

Side note the line “I’ve spent so much time on the toilet, that some ponies started to mistake it for the throne. These ‘sittings’ were by far my most challenging fights.” completely broke me for about 5 minutes.

You has my attention

Do you suck off all authors ?

This already looks amazing

It seems silly. The formatting makes it unbearable, though. Not angry-thumb level, just... eck.


Oh my, I haven't had random, unprovoked, and irrelevant harassment in awhile. PM me, baby-boo. No reason to mess up these comments.

And once it touched the palm of Cthulhu’s hand… Well… It became Chthulu’s former hand.


One would think a thousand years would provide ample opportunity for spell research.

Man, if constipation is Celestia's biggest problem, then the Royal nutritionist certainly...

Dropped the bowel.

{I'll see myself out}

*drop-kicks you from low-orbit*

Never change, my friend. Never change.

I was wondering about that myself. Apparently it's also buffed unless another explanation is given

And one must also know, that Celestia was not just connected to the Sun.
She practically was the Sun.


"of, relating to, or suggesting heaven or divinity"


"Sol is the Latin name for the Sun"

"Sól (sun), a Norse sun goddess"

The name Celestia AKA Sol-estia is a a clever play on words implying that she is literally the goddess of the sun.



"Luna is the divine embodiment of the Moon (Latin luna; cf. English "lunar"). She is often presented as the female complement of the Sun (Sol) conceived of as a god"

Celestia and Luna are a classical solar/lunar deity pair, and season 1 was dripping with symbolism making this clear. But then season 2 rolled around, and at some point Lauren Faust was booted and some other producer who didn't know what was going on took her place.

Contains obvious fanboying and an accurately powered Celestia

You got a Fav and ThumbUp just for this ^^

Geeze, don't take things so seriously. My comment was only in digest.

Cthulhu isn't evil, just an extremely misunderstood eldritch horror that mortals were never meant to look upon.

Also I am not a Cthulhu cultist, a real Cthulhu cultist wouldn't deny it and would try to skirt around the issue.

I however am a muffin cultist, have you been to your baked goods store recently? The Muffin Queen loves sweet tasty muffins, you can learn to love them too! There are muffins of all kinds of delicious flavors, except we don't talk about English muffins as they aren't real muffins.

Praise be the delectable cheese muffins being the muffin of the day!

Celestia actually using her power...

This should prove amusing.

Celestia looked around carefully. Then she leaned closer to Twilight. Holding up a hoof beside her muzzle, she whispered: “ Constipation. ”

Kill me just kill me this made me laugh as if I was reading Dante’s little apple surprise for the first time when AJ gets Cerberus (the weapon) which in turn screams BALLS every time AJ makes it shoot ice out of it. But overall this is a good start.


But then season 2 rolled around, and at some point Lauren Faust was booted and some other producer who didn't know what was going on took her place.

I'm pretty sure that it not the case here. People like Amy Keating Rogers, Big JIm and others knew exactly what Lauren planned. They, after all, pretty much created this show together with Faust. They just chose not to follow this direction.

The title alone XDDDD that face... oh god i read it next!

I don't know, I think 9569586 was right to be colon you out.

I am so glad I found this.

Okay, formatting gripes aside, this is REALLY FREAKING HILARIOUS. Please continue. And be sure to spike Celly's cakes with laxatives, just in case.

I know a guy who might help your situation.

Or not.

Your chances are fifty / fifty at best.

Caution: link contains a long story about a tabletop legend that involves cults, garden gnomes, and why a DM shouldn't push a player too far.

Worst. Cover art. Ever! (Sorry that's my inner Comic Book Guy speaking)

You've got something good going here. Keep 'em coming!

I just finished one punch man.

Not the first MLP thing I’ve seen but Imma check it out

I was expecting something like this happening:

So I was thinking about how she could control her strength my first thought was while her magic might also be very deadly, couldn't she use it on herself to restrict her movement thus reducing strength. But I doubt that would work because reasons, so my next thought was maybe some kind of mental block that would prevent her from hitting too hard. I honestly think this might work since Celestia already gets constipated after inflicting violence which sounds to be a mental issue and should probably be treated first but ehh.

Overall great story so far and I am looking forward to more.

This is FAR too good to not track!

Well that escalated quickly no really two seconds and discord’s down (sorry for the curse I’m going to use) fucking bravo Celestia about time you show how strong you are plus no wonder you’re giving Equestria over to Twilight you basically do nothing doesn’t even try to save anypony when they need help. Basically it’s like this:

“Your highness we have a problem “
“What is the problem “
“The channelings are invading “
“Eh I don’t give a fuck”
“But you’re highness aren’t you going to help”
“No I’m not going to help even if you blackmail me with cake”

That’s basically what Celestia dose when there’s a big problem and the only time she dose something is to stop the snow storm from covering the crystal empire.
Enjoy your day.

This seems entirely accurate,


You... You realize she basically does nothing because if the all-powerful mentor archetype character shows up to handle issues Twilight's dealing with/involved in, there's no story, right? Think about every single challenge Twilight's overcome. Now imagine Celestia showing up when it starts to just wave her horn and make it disappear. Would you watch nine seasons of that? Each episode would be like five minutes long. That's with the opening and ending song/credits.

A big focus of kid shows is that the adults are clueless while the young protagonists run around saving the day, or know and for whatever reason can't do anything about it despite being notably better than the youngsters at it.

But it looks stupid and unhumorous. I find MJ's later years image far more pleasant than whatever deadpan expressions Saitama gives.

Shame author for not doing that!

Geeze people, what's your tissue? It really feels like I got a bum deal here.

Ok, funny. I don't like the prose style, but the joie de vivre of the storytelling elevates it toward poetry and overcomes the liabilities of such experimental writing—and the few interspersed typos.

You earned an upvote from me. 👍

BTW, at 5:23PM 4/16/2019, your story was #2 in the feature box. Congrats.

Celestia needs to take some training lessons from Superman, he's also in the same one-punch boat... to an extent.

Question then becomes; what is Celestia's mild mannered alter-ego? Sunny Sky the somewhat timid, a little clumsy, and glasses-wearing pegasi working at a local newspaper? :rainbowlaugh:

Somehow nopony can tell it's Celestia wearing glasses, a business blouse, and a hat with "Press" written on a card attached to it. Those closest to Sunny Sky at work, down at the Canterlot Daily, think she's a huge fanmare [nerd!] of the Princess. They just ignore her "obviously" fake horn and expensive rainbow dye job with tail/mane extensions. Hay, whatever floats your boat, right? Now get me pictures of Spidermare!

Twilight is enjoying herself probably more than is entirely healthy. On the other hand, it's hard to blame her, and he literally asked for it.

Equestria is surrounded by countless threats: Dragons, Griffons, Yaks, Storm Monkeys, Bronies, Minotaurs, Elder Things… the list goes on and on!

Clever, almost missed that

....Has Equestria not invented Ex-lax yet?

I can see that being a scene:
TwiPrime: "I needed this vacation."
Sunset Shimmer: "Why come here, though?"
TwiPrime: "Because here I'm a teenager that nopon—I mean, no one expects to do anything meaningful. Also, hands."
SShimmer: "Well... hands are pretty good."
SciTwi: "Uhm, the book thing is shaking?"
TwiPrime: "Oh for-! Can't she handle just a little bit of constipation?"
SShimmer: "Uh, what?"
*Explanation and laughter later*
SShimmer: "That's pretty funny. But who doesn't she just use Ex-lax or something?"
TwiPrime: "Ex-lax?"
SciTwi: "It's a brand name for a laxative. Though given there's a psychological component she probably needs some counseling as well."
SShimmer: "Or weed."
SciTwi: "... Yes, and maybe THC."
TwiPrime: "Wait wait wait! What's a laxative?"
SShimmer: "Hooo boy."

Then when Celestia needs to beat up on someone she squeezes a can of laxative like Popeye squeezes a can of spinach. "Ag ag ag ag ag!"

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