• Member Since 8th Dec, 2018
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Twilight Glimmer

People think I'm pretty funny, for some reason.



This story is a sequel to You Can't Extinguish the Sun!

Knit Wit is back from his beach vacation (with a sunburn), and he's hungry.

For a cheese sandwich.

Specifically, a MOON cheese sandwich.

Time to go to Night Court!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 66 )

So...Knit Wit led to the final season of MLP.

I've got my torch. Who's got the pitchforks?

How does he get out of bed without knocking himself back unconscious?

...and I know I've got some pitchforks around here somewhere...

Thanks Knit Wit.... you brought about the end of G4 mlp.

God damn Knit Wit.

“ Let’s retire! ”

Well at least now we know why celestia and luna decided to retire

It's all Knit Wit's fault! You nitwit!

Oh, wait...

I could see a guy like him existing in the show, though, to be honest.

We could just use a gun like everyone else...maybe leave him at the castle's front doorstep with an IOU or something.

I was gonna say that, that explains why Celestia says they are retiring in the trailer for Season 9.

I hope this guy doesn't have foals.

So...who's Knit Wit going to visit next?

9521203 Celestia, "Hmm, throwing Discord at Twilight didn't break her. I even deliberately lost to a toddler and she didn't snap. I've got it! Time to suddenly throw an entire nation on top of her!"

Pops in Twilight's Castle Of Bad Design, "So, like, now that you've run a school for a year, you're clearly ready to take control of a country! BYEEEEEEEE!!!"

Twilight gapes and Spike face-claws, "This is going to be worse than the time some people thought a bus driver could run a country..."


... 2 more chapters! :pinkiegasp: Cadence, Twilight run for your lives! he's coming to mentally Destroy your mind with dumb questions!

As long as we don't get those flim flam brand torches and pitchforks I'm in.

Knit with comes up to them after their retirement; can I become a princess?

Leave to Discord to effectively weaponize stupidity.

It wasn't often you saw Knit Wit running in terror.

To be honest, you didn't often see Knit Wit running. It wasn't that he was lazy or anything like that-- left to himself, he tended to be quite industrious, creating yet another in his line of hoof-made, skillfully knit scarves. He was, in fact, very good at scarves.

And nothing else, which is why Rarity handled all his sales, since he would otherwise have stared at any customers, blankly, while various strange comments emitted from his throat that, if you spent a while listening to them, you would eventually determine to mean that somehow he had conflated the terms payment and pavement... and that was why he was now convinced that that meant that he could, in fact, not only charge you fifteen leagues of Royal Highway for the scarf in question, but that somehow you were now responsible for teaching him how to put it into his wallet.

Knit Wit was not, to coin a phrase, a clever pony.

This was partly why he rarely ran. He had a bad habit of paying attention to where he was running. For anypony else, this would not be a bad habit, but for Wit, this would mean that he would invariably follow by starting to pay attention to the actual running itself, and that way led to somehow tripping over his own hooves-- all four at once. Usually a scarf was involved, and often other less pleasant objects, such as beehives, angry timberwolves, and occasionally the Cutie Mark Crusaders when they were having one of their (now, thankfully rare) Tree Sap Incidents.

At this moment, however, he was not paying attention to any of that, and so was spared the usual rolling tumble into whatever possible source was due for a disaster this week. The last time, he vaguely remembered, it was something about Doctor Time Turner's laboratory, a strangely glowing balloon, and a pest control expert.

At least, he thought it was a pest control expert. He was pretty sure someone had been yelling "Exterminate!", so what else could it have been?

What he was paying attention to was the panicked Draconequus next to him. Oh, and the horrific, monstrous demonic force chasing them both.

"One sarcastic joke. One little quip to the one academic dipstick who doesn't read the magical journals, asking how she became an alicorn. One simple piece of simple snark. And who has to overhear it? Who has to go to Luna and ask for-- I can't believe you did that-- how can any pony be that-- you can't be a pony! You just can't!"

"I can't?"

"No-- wait! Sorry! Yes, you can be a pony! I assure you you can be a pony! And nothing else! Please don't misunderstand me and start thinking you can be something else!"

"Oh, that's good news. Is she still chasing us?"

"I don't know--"


'She is. And she's threatening us with one of those nasty mortars with all the sharp grooves in them."

"Why is she so angry?"


"I couldn't tell you... because you'd never get it. Keep running. Honestly, been underestimating the mare for years, I must say..."

Comment posted by Kencolt deleted Mar 22nd, 2019

Dear Knit Wit,

edit: I ask your permission to steal your OC to write a horrible trollfic where he meets a black pony (i have not decided whether he will be an alicorn or an earth pony) who indeed CAN extinguish the Sun.

Sequel is needed plz

Two Princesses Down, Two to go, Twilight and Cadance. What Inane thing will Knit Wit ask of them? Maybe for Twilight to Ban books for some reason? Maybe for a Love potion from Cadance for some reason?

Maybe he’ll try to eat the crystal heart? :scootangel:

Permission granted. Just give me credit where it’s due. :twilightsmile:

Thank you! I will, of course. Whenever (and if) I complete the story.

You know, these two stories actually make a reasonable reason for the Princesses to retire.

This guy is dull-driving them dotty better than Discord himself.

Comment posted by Godslittleprincess deleted Mar 23rd, 2019

So THAT'S why they are retiring in the last season

Knit Wit smiled as he stared at the Crystal Heart. "I do wonder what it tastes like" he mused aloud to himelf before nodding a bit "Okay I am going to go ask princess Cadance if I can try a bit. Those two oddly dressed brothers did say it was delicious candy after all." His course decided he began to make his way to the palace to speak with the Princess and Prince.

Meanwhile inside the palace a pair of royals shuddered. "Caddy, ever get the feeling something very bad was about to happen that theres no way you can avoid?" Shining Armor asked his wife who nodded in response.

"You mean like right now?" was Cadance's reply

"Then I am not the only one feeling it.." Shining Armor sighed. "Lets just hope whatever it is, it isnt TOO bad,,,"

Luna was starting to get worried. “Are you suggesting that the moon is made of cheese?”
“I'm not suggesting, I know for a fact that the moon is made out of cheese.”

*insert cover of the story here*

I hope you guys liked the sequel!


I’m thinking about having 2 more!


Comment below and have a nice day! :twilightsmile:

YES to both!

never learned of a pony so dumb

Luna sat down in her chair and waited for the first pony. A red stallion walked in. At first, she thought he was wearing some kind of white sunglasses, it turned out, his white fur had been sunburned.

...how does that work?!

Did he really just ask me to extinguish the moon?” she thought.

I.. I think he did.

He didn’t get sunburned on his eyes because his sunglasses blocked enough sun from his eyes.

It’s labeled random for a reason :rainbowwild:

knit wit is best pony!:trollestia::yay::rainbowlaugh::pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

but the price of those is so reasonable...




No. Nein. *other words for no* FlimFlam's pitchforks have taken ponies eyes out, the owner's specifically and their torches are ones that go out, you try to re-light and then they light for a moment then act like trick candles the entire ride over. It's humiliating when the torches are like trick candles going out and lighting back up.


Cadence: Knit Wit will be convinced of the belief that Cadence decides who everyone's special some-pony is and asks her to tell him who is his special somepony is.

Their response: We are no longer responsible for helping ponies deal with their stupid problems. Go talk to Twilight about that and any other problems you may have. :trollestia:

The moon is made of rocks, it glows because it reflects the sun's lights. Tell Knit Wit that it is again the sun that needs to be extinguished.

Knit Wit: but discord said that twilight said if I have any problems I should come to you

Their Response: “For the love of Faust, STOP LISTENING TO DISCORD!”

Knit Wit: but he's the most trustworthy not-pony I know, and I know a total of 2 not-ponies

Their Response: We’ll give you a cookie if you leave us alone.

Knit Wit: Deal! Now I just need to go ask Cadence an important question...

Knit Wit: Can I eat the Crystal Heart?

He’ll probably try before Saturday

So... who's gonna be the person to tell him that the crystal heart is edible?

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