I didn't ask for this, any of this. But now that I'm here, might as well make the most of it. But, why am I here? What purpose does my presence here serve to Equestria?

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Author Notes: Yes, this is a HIE story. Yes, I know how much people hate self inserts or anything similar to it. And yes, I don't care what people say about this. I'm writing this because I feel like it and nobody can stop me from doing it. To quote Eminem, "See you can hate 'em, he don't blame you frankly he would too." Since I can't use too many character tags, just assume I'll be using every character from the show.

(While I actually thought of the title and premise for this story by listening to Aerosmith's Permanent Vacation, the current cover art just seemed to fit the opening chapter better.)

Note that the Gore tag is simply because of things like characters getting stabbed, shot, etc... Nothing too graphic or descriptive, but better safe than sorry.

'What is it about humans that urges them seek out so many endeavors in order to feed their desires? Greed, power, family, friends, philosophy, knowledge; infinite goals and infinite reasons behind them. Whoever or whatever created these beings are either cunning; to create self motivating creatures that will constantly push the limits of what's possible, or downright cruel; never truly allowing them to feel true fulfillment or satisfaction. The point is humans were created with a void, a missing piece left intentionally empty never to be filled, an undying hunger.'

A bit grim right? The names Rodney, and in case you're wondering, this is the story of my life. A life of Magic, Gods, and regrettably, Ponies. Yeah, freakin-multi-techno-collored-goody-ponies.
But it's not all bad really, got way healthier with a more green diet. Though the lack of meat can be painful at times, that one landed me in less than desired situations. I get to screw with innocent ponies on a regular basis. Didn't kill myself or everyone else with me either. So not a bad deal really, even ended up retiring as teacher.

Teen for language and some adult themes.
This takes place before season 3.

HIATUS: Currently at a programmer's boot camp. Will be done late June 2015.

AN: If you can see past my cruddy writing skills there's plenty to tickle your funny bones, I hope. First attempt at writing a fic.

“Do Humans Hibernate?” Rainbow has a question on her mind. She's not entirely sure why it's bothering her so much. It probably doesn't help that the only human she could ask is the world's greatest liar.

Cover art by Pusspuss this random guy called ‘Pen Mightier’ who probably wishes he is Pusspuss but isn’t.

Marshal: (mɑː.ʃəl) noun….etymology - archaic: Middle English, from Anglo-French ‘mareschal’, of Germanic origin; akin to Old High German ‘marahscalc’, from ‘marah’ (horse) + ‘scalc’ (servant). Originally referring to "a person in charge of the upkeep of horses or stable hand”. The station became a position of trust and power in medieval courts and went on to acquire its modern military usage.

Twilight summons another human.
It's a corpse. Again.
That's it, really.

Put it in whatever folders of whatever groups you deem appropriate. Or don't. I don't really mind either way.
But, I do like feedback for whatever reason. Comment! Like! Dislike! Write hateful things to me! It'll satisfy my slightly-off emotions or whatever!
(A parody sort of thing, with no real original as a backup. Making fun of 'Twilight teleported/summoned the human' trope. I thought it was funny. You probably won't.)
((Probably a one shot. Probably.))

Discord, eternal lord of chaos, bringer of the random day, bearer of pranks assorted, inventor of the self-mutilating bread loaf.

Everyone in all creation is terrified of him every time he returns. there's just one problem, his name is Dave, he just doesn't get it! In a supreme act of spite, Discord even made him immortal and he still doesn't get it!

Anyways, Discord's back and Dave just happens to live in Ponyville now.

John Joseph was just an average patron of Comic-Con, right up until he was inexplicably transported to the land of magical ponies that he had once thought to only be fictitious. Now, like many other probably-innocent-visitors-of-popular-conventions-who-disappeared-off-of-the-face-of-the-Earth-without-a-trace-yet-strangely-no-one-seems-particularly-adamant-about-investigating-their-disappearances, John has merged with and taken the identity associated with the particular articles of fabric that he had decided to drape himself on that specific day.

It was just too bad that he had decided to go casual for the convention.

Skyrim guard travels the magical land of Equestria, making friends and foes, having adventures and lecturing about proper citizen behavior.

But how will our hero fare against the native ponies with such a short repertoire of phrases? Will he help the land or cause its downfall? Should we follow?

Of course we should!

***

Also, all comments saying anything about anything get a prize!

Out of possible spite, Princess Celestia has given Anthony four of her personal guards to help keep him out of trouble for the day.

What trouble, you ask? None. But that won't stop the Royal Guards from looking for some anyways.

Another entry into the "Anon-thony-verse".

The Griffons have captured Princess Luna and Equestria is at the brink of war, only you can stop it. Who knows what's in it for you.
Rated Teen for the following: Alcohol usage and adult themes

Dear Anthony Nones the human,

Possible Dark Tag

Fizzle is not a dragon jsyn

Trigger warnings: bad ocs, bad puns, bad writing, trigger warnings

Cover Art by xXSonyTheCatXx on Deviantart

Inspiration for this a to me few days after reading The Curse so you could probably take a wild guess as to who Fizzle is.

Side note. This is going to be a weird fic, and right now don't entirely know what direction I'll be taking it. And since I a good writer am not, if anyone who's actually a good writer wants to take this idea and use it for them self they are perfectly welcome to.