//------------------------------// // Swarm of the Century or Parasprites… Why’d It Have to Be Parasprites? // Story: Permanent Vacation // by Apple_Crack //------------------------------// “Permanent Vacation” Swarm of the Century or Parasprites… Why’d It Have to Be Parasprites?         Well, it would seem that while we were partying yesterday, Spike got a letter saying Celestia was coming to visit Ponyville in two days. And like with everything that happens in this town, everyone panicked. However, thanks to some quick planning on Twilight’s part once the announcement was made, things got organized. Currently, my job is to just help out wherever I’m needed. Which at this moment is trying to keep Pinkie from eating all the food we’re making in preparation for the banquet being held.         “Pinkie, that food is for tomorrow!” I shout for what has to be… I lost track at this point, honestly.         “But I need to sample the quality to make sure they match up to Pinkie Pie standards!”         I motion towards the mess in the kitchen and the flour on her clothes. “You baked them with my help, so they should live up to your standards!”         She stuffs a piece of cake in her mouth and swallows. No chewing, just swallows it whole. “Mmm, perfect! On to the cupcakes!”         I sigh. Why did I have to get stuck with this job? Please let there be something to distract Pinkie soon. “How’s the food coming along, Pinkie and Blake?”         I throw my hands up and step out front to lean on the counter. “What food? As fast it’s being made, she eats it! At this rate, there won’t be anything left!”         “I need to taste test my work!”         Twilight just pats my shoulder. “Hang in there. I’m positive Pinkie knows what she’s doing.”         I raise an eyebrow. “Does she? Cause to me, it looks like she’s getting a free meal.”         “Twilight! Pinkie! Blake! I have something to show you!” Fluttershy practically bounds into the room. She skids to a halt in front of us. “Oh, I not interrupting something, am I?”         I shake my head. “Not at all. At this point, I need something else to take my mind off,” I jerk my thumb over my shoulder, “This.”         “You won’t believe what I found near the Everfree.”         “Ohh! This I gotta see!” Pinkie leans over my shoulder.         Fluttershy ruffles her right wing. “Come on out little fella.” There’s some movement within her wing before a blue little ball with wings and large eyes flies out and lands on her shoulder. Shortly after, two more, one green and one yellow, fly out and also land on her shoulder. “Huh? But there was only one of you before…”         “Oh, they’re adorable!”         I raise an eyebrow. “Really, Twilight? They look like a freaking pest.”         “Ugh, parasprites.” Pinkie makes a gagging noise.         Fluttershy and Twilight just look at us. “How do you both not find these things adorable?”         “Twilight, I’ve seen enough pests in my time to know one when I see it.”         “Great, now I gotta stop taste testing the food to find a trombone!” Pinkie leaps over the counter and runs out the door.         “Umm… What was that about?”         I sigh and rub my forehead. “A blessing and a curse if you ask me.” I motion to the door. “Alright, everybody out. I actually gotta finish baking everything since Pinkie decided to bail.”         Twilight and Fluttershy share a quick glance. “Okay then. We’ll see you tomorrow.”         I nod my head as they give a quick wave while walking out the door. Now that Pinkie is gone, I might be able to… Huh, it’s all done. Every single dish perfectly baked and ready for tomorrow. Ugh, Pinkie logic. Welp, may as well do something productive. “Mister Cake!” I shout up the stairs.         “Yes?”         “Everything’s done, so I’m heading out for the day!”         “Great work! Enjoy the rest of the day, and thanks again!”         Yeah, not happening. The sooner I help out Pinkie, the better. “Enjoy your day as well!” Heading outside, I glance around. Pinkie couldn’t have gotten too far…         Pinkie pops up in front of me, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. “Blake! You gotta help me find a harmonica!”         I put a hand on her shoulder and slowly push her back. “First, you don’t have to shake me to get your point across. Second, say no more, I’m in.”         How do these ponies make that freaking squee sound? “Great! I already got the trombone, but I still need a tuba, kazoo, harmonica, accordion—”         I throw my hand over her mouth. “Pinkie, how about we work on one thing at a time?” She nods her head. I raise an eyebrow as my palm becomes… moist. “Pinkie, please tell me you aren’t licking my hand.” She pulls my hand away from her mouth. “But it still had frosting on it and everypony knows how much I love frosting and not just any kind of frosting but—”         I wipe my hand on my pants before snapping my fingers. “Pinkie, focus on the now. Potential parasprite invasion on the horizon that we need to stop before the town is destroyed.”         She giggles. “Whoopsie. Right, enough chit-chat! Time for seriousness!”         I nod my head. “Good. Why don’t we start at the most musically inclined place in Ponyville?”         Pinkie snaps her fingers. “Of course! Twilight would have something!”         “What?” Before I can stop her, she darts off, leaving me standing in the middle of the street with an open mouth. Screw it, I’ll do it myself. When I think of music, there’s only one place in Ponyville to go.         “…Fluttershy’s?”         “You better be joking.”         “Yeah, I’m just fucking with ya. To Scratched Records!”         As I walk through town, I spot Pinkie darting around as well, mumbling various instrument names under her breath. Well, maybe if she was a bit more specific as to why she needs all this shit, then everyone might be more inclined to help her. No matter. Once things go south and Pinkie and I save the day, then they will listen.         Reaching Vinyl’s store, I notice a lack of anything to distinguish that she’s open. I groan. For the love of God, can she please be home today?! I’d rather get as much done today before Twilight casts that spell making the parasprites stop eating food and start eating houses! I gotta protect my shit! And I guess stopping the town from being destroyed, but my shit comes first.         I bang on the glass door. “Vinyl! Vinyl! Answer me!” I pound on it now. “I swear to all that is good and holy, you better be in there!” No answer. “God damn it!”         “Blake! Did ya have any luck getting instruments?”         I jump and spin around. “Pinkie, you have got to stop doing that!”         She giggles. “Sorry, but we need to find these instruments before the parasprites multiply!”         I motion to the door. “Well, almost everything we could need should be in here, but Vinyl has decided to disappear for the day!”         “Then we just need to find somepony else that has—” Pinkie leans to the left and waves. “Hiya, Lyra! Anyway, we need somepony else—”         I hold my hand up. “Hold that thought.” I turn around and smile at the sight of Lyra. Maybe we will get what we need today. “Lyra, what brings you around here?”         She shrugs her shoulders. “I was gonna talk to Vinyl about us maybe starting a tour or something, but…” She glances at the store, “It looks like she isn’t in today.”         I rub my chin. Huh, a tour… Yeah, I think it’s about time we actually had one. “I’m all for having a tour, but we gotta get Mac and Spike on board first.”         “Psst! Focus!” Pinkie whispers in my ear.         I nod my head. “Right. Mind if I ask a favor of you, Lyra?”         She smirks. “Shoot, as long as it’s not you asking me out.”         I laugh. “Nah, that comes later in the year. You got any instruments back at your pad? We need—”         Pinkie pops up in front of me. “A tuba, kazoo, harmonica, accordion, tambourine, trumpet, drum, ukulele—”         Lyra just jerks her head behind her and starts walking away as Pinkie keeps spouting off instruments. I take it she has some of what we need, so I start following her with Pinkie right behind me.         Well, thanks to Lyra, our search didn’t turn up fruitless yesterday. Granted, she didn’t have much, but we got enough for Pinkie to call it a successful day. Though as of today, things took a massive turn. Swarms upon swarms of parasprites flitter throughout town, mixing in with the screaming crowds as food is being eaten in bulk. I know the girls are doing their best to try and contain the parasprites, but it’s going to be a fruitless effort. So once the swarms started appearing, I knew I didn’t have long till Twilight cast that spell. So grabbing Pinkie, we rush over to Scratched Records in hopes that Vinyl is there.         I scream in frustration while banging on the door. “God damn it all to fucking hell!”         “I just don’t know what to do! I looked everywhere yesterday and couldn’t find a cymbal, harmonica, or flute! I even asked the girls for help, but they ignored me!”         I glance over my shoulder at Pinkie. “And these are absolutely necessary? This plan won’t work without them?”         She nods her head. “Positive! This is the only way that I know how to get rid of parasprites! My family and I tried everything when they first came to the rock farm, but only music got rid of them! I don’t know how or why, but it does!”         I place a hand on her shoulder. “And you’re sure you looked everywhere yesterday? You didn’t miss a hidden cache of instruments you keep around town or something?”         She giggles. “Why would I hide instruments around town, silly?”         I sigh. “I’ll take that as a no. Vinyl, please forgive me for what I’m about to do.” Spinning around, I draw the Ambassador and put two rounds through the glass, causing it to shatter to the ground. I motion to the door. “There, problem solved.”         “Um…”         I step into the shop. “Grab what we need and let’s go! I’ll pay for this shit later anyways! Search the ground floor, I’ll check upstairs!” Heading upstairs, I search the recording studio. Aha, a cymbal! And look at that, a harmonica too! Please let Pinkie find the—         “Found a flute!”         Perfect! “Got the cymbal and harmonica!” I practically bound down the steps. “So what now?”         She snatches the cymbal and harmonica from my hands, replacing them with a twirling baton. “Now I gotta play music to get the parasprites to follow me so I can lead them out of town!”         I raise an eyebrow. “And you expect me to believe you can play all these instruments yourself? And what’s the baton for?”         She giggles. “Of course I’m gonna play them myself! I’m the only pony I know of that can play this many instruments at once! And the baton is for leading me through town, silly!”         “Whatever. How soon can you—” A purple wave passes through the air, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I run over to the door and look out to see a parasprite eating a leaf on the ground. “Scratch that, it needs to be done now!” Why couldn’t Twilight have waited just a little bit longer?         “Way ahead of ya!”         I glance over my shoulder, only to see nothing. It’s like she disappeared. Music starts coming from down the road though, so stepping outside, I look towards the source. How in the world did Pinkie manage to not only slip outside, but also strap every single instrument to herself to create a one maned, or should I say pony, band? I shake my head. Focus on the problem now, not Pinkie.         Well, it seems to be working, as the parasprites are now following Pinkie in a line behind her, bouncing along to the beat of the music. Alright, time to lead these things away from the town. I nod my head along to the beat, marching in place. With my head held high, I wait until Pinkie nears me before marching to my left. We need to make absolutely sure we grab every single parasprite, which means a through sweep of the town. This… May take a while.         As we march through the streets, more and more parasprites join into our procession, making the entire thing look like a massive parade. Which, given that Celestia is visiting today, isn’t such a bad thing. I’m just glad we were able to lessen the damages to the town, if the minor destruction is anything to go by. I think we cleared the town, so it’s time to lead these bastards towards the Everfree. Oh, and look at that, Celestia’s chariot nearing the town. Oh, such wondrous timing today! As wear near the edge of the forest, I see the girls and Celestia watching us parade towards them. I really shouldn’t do this, but… Tossing the baton high into the air just as we pass them, I turn and flip the double bird to everyone present before catching the baton, all still in time with the beat. Rude of me, yes, but they deserve it for dissing Pinkie off without even giving her a chance. But on the other hand, Pinkie could have just explained what a parasprite was in the first place and everything would have been fine.         As we near the edge of the Everfree, Pinkie and I step off to the side as I point into the forest with the baton. Surprisingly, the parasprites continue moving into the forest instead of stopping, which is exactly what I had hoped would happen. Pinkie continues playing until the last parasprite passes us by into the Everfree proper. I hold my hand out towards Pinkie. “Don’t leave me hanging now.”         She returns the high five. “Go team Pinkie and Blake!” She gasps. “Team Blinkie! That’s so better than just saying team Pinkie and Blake because it’s shorter and it combines both of our names into one word and—”         I tap her on the shoulder. “Take a drink break or something, then how’s about you return those instruments, hmm?” I glance at the girls coming towards us. “I’ll handle the girls.”         “Okey Dokey!” She bounces away, the instruments rattling with each bounce.         “What was that?!”         I turn to the rest of the girls. “Oh, just us saving the day again, Twilight.”         “How’d you know them critters would respond ta music like that?”         I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know why the parasprites respond to it, but maybe if you all would have listened to Pinkie instead of blowing her off, you’d know she has experience dealing with them.”         I notice a couple of raised eyebrows. “This was all Pinkie’s plan?” Rarity says.         I roll my eyes. “Yes, Pinkie asked for my help getting instruments and I agreed. I didn’t question it or ignore her, unlike some people.”         “But why didn’t Pinkie say something then? I didn’t know they were dangerous when I found the first one.”         I sigh and rub the bridge of my nose. “Look, I’ll admit that the plan wasn’t thoroughly explained, but remember who we’re talking about here. Pinkie means well, but she isn’t exactly savvy in explaining things to others. Sometimes, you just gotta take what she says at face value and roll with it.”         “So—”         I hold my hand up. “Let me finish here, Rainbow. On the same token, you are all at fault here. Pinkie came to you for help. Instead of listening to her or at least trying to help, you all blew her off just because what she was doing was strange. No matter how strange or unorthodox the source, at least have the decency to listen.”         The girls hang their heads. “I suppose we could have been a bit more open minded to Pinkie.”         “Oh, I hope she isn’t upset with us.”         I chuckle. “Mad? Nah, she’s fine. A little frustrated, but other than that, she’s still her normal self.”         “So, how bad are things in town?”         I shrug my shoulders. “In my opinion, not bad. Granted there’s some minor fixing to do, but nothing major. At least everything still looks decent for Celestia’s visit.”         Twilight looks towards Canterlot while rubbing the back of her head. “About that… Celestia had to reschedule for a later date. Apparently, something important is happening in Trottingham that requires her immediate attention.”         I raise an eyebrow. “So, you’re telling me she isn’t coming today, yet still came down here to tell you that? Does she not remember that she could have sent a letter through Spike?”         “That… Is a good point actually.”         I shake my head. “Whatever the case may be, it doesn’t matter at this point. We got time to rebuild and relax again before her visit.” Besides, gives me time to get together with Vinyl and plan our tour. Knowing her, I’m sure she can whip up the plans for a tour in a day or two.         “Um… I’d just like to say that I’m really sorry for putting Ponyville in danger. I didn’t know these…” Fluttershy glances at me.         “Parasprites.”         “Thank you. These parasprites would be so dangerous.”         Rainbow pats her shoulder. “Hey, don’t sweat it, Shy. You couldn’t have known in the first place.”         I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah, you did nothing wrong. You found a creature and wanted to take care of it, plain and simple. At least nobody got hurt in the end, and isn’t that what matters?”         “Well, I do suppose you’re right, Blake, but I still feel awful about everything.”         “Well, if all is well with everypony, I do believe we should return to town and determine the extent of the damage ourselves.”         I raise an eyebrow. “What, you don’t believe me?”         “Not exactly, darling. It’s just that everypony has a different opinion.”         I roll my eyes. “Just be glad it isn’t worse, which it could have been if I hadn’t broken into Vinyl’s store.” I close my eyes and chuckle. “Heh, she’s gonna be pissed when she sees it.”         “Woah, woah, woah. Hold up. You broke into Vinyl’s store?”         I hold my hands out with the palms up. “Destruction of town, breaking and entering.” I raise my left hand up higher than my right. “Kinda higher up on my list of priorities at that point.” I turn and start walking away. “Besides, Pinkie heard me say I’ll pay for it all later, and I am nothing if not a man of my word.”         “But—”         “Doesn’t matter! See you later! Hey, keep an ear out for our tour coming up! Hope to see you all there!” As I wander away towards home, I glance at the ponies already fixing up the damages done. Man, I hope nothing happened to my place. Nearing it, the outside looks the same, but the inside remains to be seen.         Opening the door, I hear sounds of gunfire and explosions coming from the TV. Huh, I don’t remember leaving it on this morning. I smirk as I enter the living room, standing behind the couch watching Scootaloo as she plays the Gears of War Three multiplayer as Sonja lays beside her. “Ahem.”         Her head whips around while the game simultaneously pauses. She smiles as Sonja starts wagging her tail. “Heh, took you long enough.”         I cross my arms. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school now?”         She rolls her eyes. “Sheesh, give me some credit. We got out early because of those weird bug things flying around town and eating all the food.”         “So, your first thought was to run home and play video games?”         “Yeah, but it doesn't mean I didn’t help out along the way.” Her wings buzz. “You should have seen it! I was batting those things away from ponies left and right! It was so awesome!”         I chuckle and rub her head. “Well, I think my little hero needs something special tonight. What do you want to eat tonight? Say the word and I’ll make it or get it.”         She bats my hand away before tapping the back of the couch with a finger. She snaps her fingers. “Can we go out tonight for pizza?!”         I raise an eyebrow. “Does Ponyville have a pizza place?”         “Yeah! They make the best hay pizza’s around!”         Hmm… Pizza does sound good, minus the hay. Wonder if they’d do a supreme? I smile. “Pizza sounds like a good choice for tonight. Until then,” I vault over the couch to land beside her. I pat my lap, a sign for Sonja to crawl over and lay on it.  I motion towards the TV with one hand while the other scratches Sonja behind her ears, “Let us see how much you have improved, young padawan.”         She smirks. “Heh, wait till you see me in action!” She unpauses the match. “I’m domin—”         “Boomshot.”         She tilts her head. “Huh?” Explosions draw her attention to the screen, watching as her character is blasted into little giblets. “Oh come on!”