Truth…
The word resounded in his head like an echo as he racked his mind for what sort of question to ask Luna. He obviously couldn’t ask her about the letter, no, that had to be a dare. “Luna is this letter dangerous?” he’d ask, and she’d respond, “I don’t know” versus “Hay Luna can you check to see if this letter is dangerous”, “Sure”. But even with this minor setback, being able to ask the Moon princess any question and getting an honest answer was a golden opportunity.
So, I get to ask a being with what many would equate to godlike power any sort of question my twisted mind desires? Anthony had to keep himself from laughing out loud maniacally. Seriously though, I really shouldn’t ask anything weird or embarrassing, that’ll just create a backlash when she gets to truth or dare me. So, we’re right back where we started, what to ask? It needs to be logical, something that would give me a deeper insight to this world… AHA! Got it!
“What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?”
“I don’t know.”
FUCK!!!
“My turn!” Luna cheered, clopping her hooves together happily as Anthony mentally berated himself.
I could have asked her anything! ANYTHING! Secrets to power, how to gain wealth or esteem, blackmail material for Celestia! And I wasted it for some stupid reference from home! Augh, what kind of idiot am I!
“Anthony, truth or dare?” Her words snapped the man out of his trench of self loathing, he responded quickly.
“Er, uh… Truth.” Luna took a moment, lifting her tea in her magic and taking a sip as she though. Anthony braced himself for whatever terrible secret of his she would try to unveil.
“Do you… like to sing?” She asked with a smile. Anthony sat up, slightly taken aback by her question. He shook his head slowly before speaking.
“No, not particularly.” He answered honestly. Luna nodded, gesturing to him with a hoof to continue the game.
“Okay, truth or dare?”
“Truth.”
Might as well go for it. Anthony thought to himself.
“What is Celestia’s biggest secret?” Luna’s eyes widened for a moment, but her faced ultimately remained stoic.
“My sister is deathly afraid of blood.” Anthony looked at her surprised, but yet deep down he was not really surprised at all.
“Blood? Like getting it on her coat or something?” Anthony asked, curiosity building. Luna shook her head.
“Though you have already asked your question I suppose I will indulge you for clarity’s sake. My sister has always been afraid of blood ever since our youth, though I do not know why. The longer we have lived the more control she has gained over it, but still, when she sees blood Celestia will often exhibit more rash behavior, in bad cases she even becomes visibly frantic. Because of this, I trust that you will not use this against her nor divulge this information to anypony.” She said, giving Anthony a very serious glare. The man nodded.
“Look Luna, I’m an asshole but I’m not bad enough of a person to use someone’s darkest fears against them. I hope you trust me at least that much.” Luna relaxed, placing her cup down lightly.
“I do Anthony, I just wanted to be sure that you understood. The result of thoughtless actions on this matter could lead to, at its worst, a global political backlash.” She stared at her cup for a moment before looking back up at Anthony angrily. “Also, watch thy language!” Anthony chuckled to himself prompting an eyeroll from the mare who huffed before continuing with the game. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth.” Luna tapped her hoof on the table lightly.
“How do you feel about Twilight Sparkle…” Noting the concerned look on her face he chuckled darkly.
“Getting serious now eh?” He asked, Luna nodded. “Let’s just say, I’d give her a serious licking if I could get away with it.” Luna’s disturbed look prompted Anthony to double back, waving his hands at her defensively. “NO! That isn’t a euphemism! What I mean to say is I’d give her the ol’ one two you know?” Her expression didn’t change. “Gah! I would hit her! I don’t like her, how else can I say this!” He said in desperation. The mare mouthed an “oh” of understanding.
“Fear not Anthony, I cannot judge you on your opinion in this matter as I myself can not claim to understand what it must feel like. Though I would advise against hitting my sister’s ex-student no matter the degree of force. I think you could guess as to why.” She said, Anthony waved a dismissive hand.
“I said if I could get away with it. Which would obviously never happen with prissy pants herself presiding over the new pony princess.” Luna barely held in a snort of laughter. Anthony, not wanting to talk about the purple abomination any longer Anthony continued the game.
“Truth or dare, Luna.” The mare furrowed her brow, studying his face closely. Taking a moment, she sipped on her tea once again before responding.
“We’ve beat around the bush enough. Dare.” After she spoke, Luna found herself slightly shocked as Anthony's attitude pulled a complete one-eighty, the previously stiff frowning man breaking out into an ecstatic smile that made her suddenly fearful of what the dare might be. Anthony reached into his back pocket, and to her surprise, pulled out what appeared to be a plain white envelope.
“I have a rather peculiar request of you.” Anthony said, tapping the note in his palm. “I dare you to safety check this letter for me.” Luna, confused and bewildered, said the first thing that came to mind.
“What?” She watched as Anthony placed the letter down on the table.
“I want you to check this letter, with your magic, for any malicious or harmful intent. So that when I should decide to open it, I will have the safety of mind knowing that I won’t be poisoned or cursed or receive anything else of the like.” He concluded, crossing his arms confidently. Luna continued to look between him and the letter.
“Who gave it to you?” She asked. Anthony shook his head.
“Not your turn. Now, if you please.” He said, placing a finger on the letter, sliding it over. Luna took another moment to stare at the envelope before lighting her horn. Her familiar blue aura surrounding it as she closed her eyes. Though Anthony had no means of knowing it, the mare casted a total of 62 spells in just a few short moments. Hexes, curses, poisons, spells, each possibility being crossed off in the blink of an eye, and each material that the letter actually contained being identified and categorized. She spoke them out loud.
“Paper, ink, wax, artificial colorings, and… trace amounts of sugar?” She said, opening her eyes and releasing the letter from her magic.
“So, it’s safe?” Anthony asked. Luna nodded in confirmation. “Sweet!” he said, reaching over and snatching the letter back. “Your turn.” Luna gave the content human a cold stare before continuing.
“Truth or dare.”
“Truth.”
I have you now! Luna thought to herself.
“Who gave you that letter?” Anthony’s cocky smile didn’t diminish.
“I don’t know, a couple of creepy forest people... Really though, why would I have it checked if I knew who gave it to me.” He does have a point there. Luna cursed herself for her ill thought out question. She’ll just have to get him to divulge the information some other way.
Wait... creepy forest people?
“Truth or dare?” Anthony asked. The game continued. Without thinking Luna responded.
“Dare… NO WAIT!”
“I dare you not to truth or dare me about the letter again!” Anthony said, loud and proud. Seeing the Moon princess’s defeated face, the man burst out into laughter. With his every guffaw, Luna felt a seed of vengeful anger slowly tugging inside of her.
“Truth or dare.” Luna said sternly, causing the man’s smile to fade.
“Alright, alright,” He said, coming down from his high. “I’ve had my fun. Now it’s your turn. Dare.” The man yielded. Luna, now with opportunity in hoof, collected all the information she knew about the strange “human being” in her head, attempting to formulate the best possible dare. Then suddenly it came to her.
“Anthony Nones, we dare thee…” She paused for dramatic effect. “TO REMOVE ALL THY CLOTHES!” She ordered, blatantly lighting her horn, magicing lightning to strike outside the window once again. Noticing the shocked look on his face, she burst into maniacal laughter.
“What? No!” Anthony said sternly, causing Luna to immediately pause and turn to him.
“Excuse me?” She asked, almost believing she’d heard him wrong.
“I’m not taking off my clothes, that’s too far.” He said defiantly, squaring his shoulders.
“I don’t believe I gave you an option in this Anthony. Remove your clothes.” She said, her words an icy chill. But the man seemed unaffected by them.
“Luna I don’t think you understand~”
“Oh I understand perfectly…” Luna interrupted. “I understand your cultural norms as you yourself has explained them to us previously. And know this Anthony, that is exactly why I am doing this.”
“Oh…” Anthony said, turning his gaze to the ground. Knowing that Luna had the power to easily remove his clothes, and possibly prevent him from ever wearing any again, he let out a defeated sigh and began removing his shoes. Luna watched closely as he removed both of his worn grey sneakers with practiced ease, not even having to undo the knot. Next were the strange white pieces of cloth that covered his “feet” as he called them. Luna’s mind raced at all the strange alien possibilities that could be beneath them as he put his “finger” under the left one’s lip and pulled down. Luna let out a gasp.
“By the maker…” Luna said. Anthony, who had just started to remove the second sock, paused looking over to her. “THEY’RE ADORABLE!” She shouted, somehow managing to squee in the royal canterlot voice. Before he could react, Luna’s magic surrounded his ankle and, literally kicking and screaming, his foot was dragged into Luna’s waiting hooves. Having been pulled forward, the rest of his body was wrenched from the chair, his back impacting the cold stone floor as his other leg hung limply in the air. His declothed foot, now captured by Luna, was being glomped to oblivion.
Okay, this could not get ANY stranger. Anthony thought to himself.
“And it smells divine!” Luna said, rubbing her face between the toes and sending a tickled jolt up the mans leg.
WELP! I was asking for that, no point in complaining. He thought, finally submitting to the foot snuggles that Luna was dishing out for some reason. After about another minute of playing with his toes, shoving her nose in them, and generally being a creepy foot molester, Luna seemed to calm down. With a final sigh she released the appendage, allowing it to fall to the ground with the rest of the man. Finally free, Anthony stood up, brushing himself off before adjusting his chair and sitting back down, making sure to give Luna a very unamused look. Seeing this, Luna laughed sheepishly.
“It seems that I may have lost my decorum for a moment there, I sincerely apologize.” She said guiltily. Anthony held his stare. “A-and because of this, we choose to negate the rest of our dare.” His eyes softened, and he let out a sigh of relief as he leaned down to collect his sock and shoes.
Damn, that was close. Anthony thought as he finished putting the sock and sneakers back on where they belonged. Sitting up, he discreetly rubbed a hand along his shirt, tracing the prominent ribs along his chest. It’s best if she didn’t worry… He thought, before putting his hand down as to not linger and raise suspicion.
"So it's my turn again right?” He asked, Luna nodded. "Cool, lets get rolling again. Truth or dare?” Unlike before, Luna took a bit more time to think over before answering.
“Since you have allowed us to… indulge, we will allow you. Dare.” Anthony thought for a moment. He wasn't really mad about the whole foot thing, more creeped out than anything else, but he still needed something good.
"I dare you… to give me your crown for the night!” Luna looked at Anthony in shock.
"You dare to take a princess's crown?!” Luna exclaimed. Anthony nodded exaggeratedly. "Fine.” she said, removing it from her head in her magic and setting it down on the table. Anthony leaned forward wrapping both hands around it before picking it up and placing it on his head lightly.
"I'm da princess now!” He said happily, Luna nodded.
"You certainly are.” She replied jokingly, and with a single burst of magic from her horn another crown appeared on her head, identical to the first. Anthony stared at it confused. ''Illusion magic, can't let everypony know I let you snag my crown for the night.” she said, reaching up and touching the "crown” only to have it shimmer and her hoof move through it. He nodded in understanding.
“Ah… You know your magic’s bullshit right?” He said, still studying the fake crown for any imperfections.
“As you have said many times before.” Luna drolled.
“Because it’s true!”
“Truth or dare, Anthony.” She said, really not wanting to get into this argument again. Anthony huffed before choosing.
“Dare, again.” Luna smiled forebodingly, as Anthony, curious and nervous awaited her response.
“Anthony, we dare you…” She really likes those dramatic pauses doesn’t she? “To sing to us some of the songs from your world!” This time Anthony was more confused than anything else.
“What? What’s up with all the singing stuff? I just told you that I don’t like to do it! And before you say that’s exactly why you want me to do it, I’ll tell you now that I suck at it.” Anthony said, frustration building. Luna jumped to her hooves.
“No you don’t!” She froze before quickly sitting back down. “Or, what we meant to say was that we are sure that your voice sound fine, great even!” Luna finished, a twang of nerves to her voice that Anthony noticed immediately.
Something’s up… He thought studying her features as she regained her composure. She acted like she’d heard me singing before, . But that’s impossible, I don’t sing, not seriously anyways, well, accept in the shower.
Anthony’s eyes bulged as the implications of her statement suddenly came to him. In the corner of his vision he noticed Luna nudging her chair back slowly. But a firm doubt still remained in his mind. No, she could have just heard me humming or something in the hall, I still can’t jump to conclusions. Anthony’s mind flashed back to the last time he’d sang. It was just after he’d eaten breakfast. He went to his room, took a shower and sang a few tunes before getting out… and finding Luna’s letter, the letter which hadn't been there when he entered the room, on his bed.
“You sneaky little pony.” he muttered under his breath. “You’ve been sneaking into my room?! While I shower!” He shouted accusingly. Luna chuckled nervously as she used her magic to continue to slowly back up her chair. Oddly enough, this caused Anthony even more confusion. Warning bells were going off in his head, something about her behavior was off.
“Why, are you doing that?” Anthony asked. Luna paused, staring at him silently. “Why are you nervous about this. You just dared me to strip down in front of you. You’re acting too nervous…” Then suddenly it clicked. “You’re acting!” Anthony bolted up from his chair and began pacing up and down the room. “As well, how would you have known when I take a shower? You couldn’t have used a spell or anything, the day guards would’ve noticed, at least after a while.” The cogs whirred and buzzed in Anthony’s head as link after link fell into place. He put his hands on his forehead.
“Nonononono way. No fucking way. You knew all along! You know everything don’t you.” A smile was slowly spreading on the mare’s face. “Not only today were you in my room but you’ve been in there a number of times! And you had to have known when I’ve been taking showers, and since your magic couldn’t have helped you you would’ve had to have someone on the inside. Someone that was close to both my room and me… Oh my god, Nightingale.” Luna’s smile continued to grow. “So, Nightingale has been spying on me for you, giving you information on where I am and my schedule so you can sneak in and listen to me in the shower?” Anthony shook his head, there was still something missing.
“No, but you wanted me to find this out, you’re smiling right now. Had you been serious in keeping this a secret then you could have easily hidden the signs from me. So why didn’t you… Did you just want to reveal this to ask me to sing? No, it’s too elaborate, too well thought out.” The gears clicked once again. “AHA! Truth or dare was never tonight’s game was it? Tonight’s game was a game of the minds! Well then, call me Sherlock because I solved your puzzle!” He ended dramatically. After a few seconds, the sound of Luna hooves clopping together rapidly met his ears.
“Bravo!" She cheered, prompting Anthony to take a deep bow. Forgetting he was wearing Luna’s crown, he barely managed to catch it before hitting the floor. “We must admit, we did not fully believe that you would solve it. I was surprised at how quickly you put things together after dropping the last clue.” Anthony walked back to his chair and sat down.
“It was brilliant! Aw man, I haven’t had that much fun in a while!” He put his hands behind his head, soaking up the euphoria of the moment. “Give me a hug!” Before Luna could react, Anthony dove across the table, wrapping his arms around the blue mare who let out an eep of surprise at the sudden contact. A red tint taking over her muzzle as he started rubbing his face around in her soft chest. After having his fill, Anthony released the thoroughly flustered mare, returning to his chair with a big smile on his face. “Consider that payback for the foot thing.” He said. After calming down Luna brushed the fur on her chest back down with a hoof.
“I suppose that’s only fair.” Pausing, she lifted her tea cup, which luckily hadn't been knocked over, and finished off it’s contents, setting it down with a sigh before continuing. “Though, before anything else happens, I would like to explain to you why I did what I did.” Anthony curious as ever, sat attentively. “It all began about two weeks after your first escape. I had received word that you had somehow managed to not only bypass two of my sister’s guards, but also escape the castle with no detection. I became curious. Knowing that my own presence would not go unnoticed, I assigned our night maids that were on duty in your wing to keep an eye out should you attempt another breakout. After three weeks, the only reports that I had received were ones in which you had a minor scuffle with the guards, diverted them to other locations with your various shenanigans, and went back into your room. Only to come through the front gates the next day.” Luna paused for a short breath.
“To find out exactly where you were going I posted Nightingale in an area from which she could observe the balcony of your room… Little did I know that after she figured out where you went she would go talk to you about it and regularly, and you became friends.” Anthony shrugged. “She told me of the secret passage in the maids locker, and after researching I discovered you found it through the old blueprints in the library. So I now knew about your schedule, your escape route, and you're certain bathing tendencies.”
“Because of the danger that you put yourself under when you, how shall I put this, hung yourself from a towel rope off the side of Canterlot castle, I assigned Nightingale to watch over and catch you should you make a slip up. She was there every time you made the climb...”
“I also didn’t want to be dishonest with you about my, spying, as it were. But I didn’t know how to explain myself. That’s when I began planning out the clues and little bread crumbs I’d drop for our game tonight. And I am glad to say that it seems to have turned out well.” She concluded, Anthony smiled and nodded.
“It seems so.” They both fell into a comfortable silence, drinking in the fresh memories of the night’s events. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” At her words the grand doors creaked open and one of the thestral guards poked his head through.
“Your highness it’s~” The guard paused upon noticing that not only Luna was wearing her usual crown but now Anthony was as well. Luna nodded at him to continue, snapping him out of his stupor. “Uh, it’s thirty minutes until night court begins.” the mare nodded.
“Thank you, you may return your post.” Luna said, prompting a nod and salute from the guard before he turned and exited, closing the door behind him. Luna turned back to Anthony.
“Well, it appears that our time together is just about up. I am glad to see that you had fun. May we have many more nights of the like!” She raised a hoof to the air. “Also give me that back.” In a flash of magic the dark crown disappeared from Anthony’s head, replacing the illusioned one on her own in a quick poof. Anthony pouted.
“Our time grows short as the night reaches it’s peak. Dear Anthony, you must depart once more. I believe this has been an enjoyable and enlightening experience for us both. Also, to aid in your future escapades, when you return to your room you will find a rope hidden within your closet. Knock thrice upon the back panel and the compartment holding it shall open. Now, go and get some more sleep, adieu and farewell!” Luna lit her horn.
“But I’m not~”
POOF!
“tired…”