“Oh, that looks just lovely doesn’t it…” Anthony muttered to himself as he took in the house before him. The building was old and beaten, the white paint having been weathered from it’s paneling revealing the decaying wood beneath. The porch out front was tilted, and looked as though it could crumble at any moment. The one thing that did surprise Anthony however, was that all of the windows and doors seemed to be intact, and from his view, in pretty good condition. But even with this one upside, the building was still way past it’s due. The yard itself fared no better, the ground was bare of grass and held thick cracks from the dryness that he recalled sometimes seeing on mid summer days back home. Lastly, any shrubs or trees that once lived in this yard were nothing more than husks now, their twisted bodies still reaching to the sky as if begging for water. Turning his head he spotted the mailbox. A tilted rusty metal frame sitting just left of the cobblestone path that led up to the door. The number plating on it’s side was clearly labeled in clean bright golden numbers, 1504, and unless he was somehow mistaken, this was indeed Moonlight Lane. Anthony scratched his chin in thought.
Maybe I did mess up, I’ve never been in the lower districts before after all.
Pulling the letter out of his pocket and flipping it open, he read over the lines again quickly.
And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apart that is currently under renovation.
Being unable to read the lines that were crossed out due to the erratic crayon scribbling over them Anthony could only assume that this was the place. He let out a sigh, folding the letter back up.
“Well…” He hummed to himself. “If I’m not raped or killed tonight I’ll consider this a win.” He said, taking his first steps up the pathway to the door.
Earlier that day...
“Tired…” The word left Anthony’s mouth all but too late as Luna’s teleportation spell finished and he once again found himself back in his familiar room. Reorienting himself, he noticed she’d placed him right at the foot of his bed.
“Oh, how convenient magic is, ya higgs manipulating bastard ponies.” He muttered to himself. Having nothing much else to do, Anthony walked over to his desk, pulling out his chair and plopping himself down with a crunch.
“Huh?” Anthony reached into his back pocket, memories suddenly flooding back to him as his hand wrapped around the mysterious letter. A large smile spread across his face as excitement began to fill him. What could it be? After all, he hadn't gotten a letter from anyone since his arrival, so it had to be special.
Pulling it out and unwrinkling the creases he’d accidentally made, Anthony gingerly set it down on the desk.
He-he-hee! It’s like christmas, but stupid, cause it’s only a letter. But stupid christmas is still christmas!
Releasing the last of his reserves, Anthony eagerly picked up the letter. Slipping a finger beneath the sealed tab he began to slice the outer layer open. His finger itself, not being a fine letter opener, haphazardly ripped and teared, leaving the top of the envelope like the gaping maw of a revine. And there it was. Anthony’s eyes caught sight of a clean white sheet of paper, folded thrice, perfect, and neatly placed inside. Taking a moment to note that he didn’t feel as though any spells or curses had been placed on him, he slipped two fingers in, pulling out the paper.
“Moment of truth!” He said before flipping the paper open. Upon looking at the inside, Anthony’s smile slowly melted away from his face. “It’s… written in, crayon?” More confused than disappointed, Anthony began to read the letter.
Dear Anthony Nones the human,
We at Oddities Anonymous would like to cordially invite you to one of our get togethers this coming Friday, July 23, to sit in on one of our bi-weekly meetings. Oddities Anonymous is an exclusive club Oddities Anonymous is a support group created by and consisting of beings throughout Equestria that have great difficulty blending into pony society simply because of who or what they are. It is designed to bring together and empower those who have felt neglected or estranged by ponies in a friendly, nonjudgmental environment.
If you would like to come and join us for some fun! one of our bi-weekly support meetings, please come to 1504 Moonlight Lane at 9 pm on Friday, July 26.
And yes, I am talking about the house that looks like it's about to fall apart that is currently under renovation.
Anyways, that's about it! Hope to see you there!
Love, Fizzle! <3
PS - This week’s password is "Fizzle is delicious!"
“What, the, fuck.” Anthony said to himself. “Again, why is it written in crayon!” Not only was it written in crayon, but every word was a different color, making reading the thing a difficult and headache inducing endeavor. The penmanship was sloppy at best, and a couple of lines, which Anthony could only presume were mistakes on the writer’s part, had been crossed out. A myriad of crayon colors blocking what words once lay beneath them.
Why not just rewrite it if you mess up so much. Also what’s up with this?! Almost everything about it is professional and formal but the presentation is that of a five year old!
“Oddities Anonymous…” He hummed to himself. It did have a nice ring to it, however he couldn’t help but recall the distinction between it and a certain alcoholics anonymous form back on earth. Did they have those in Equestria?
What kind of new level of crazy have I just stumbled upon? Anthony read over the last lines again. A disturbed shiver tracing up his spine at seeing the cutsie red heart and “password” Fizzle is delicious.
What sort of misguided child wrote this!? Wait, maybe this is like a cereal killer’s letter. Well, those are usually with cut out magazine letters aren’t they. Though I do suppose that using crayon would sufficiently hide your handwriting, or hoofwriting in this case. I wonder if Celestia would freak out if I sent her something written like this. Anthony shook his head, it was no time to get distracted with another Celestia pranking brainstorm, he needed to focus.
“1504 Moonlight Lane, now where is that?” Anthony had traveled through most of the upper city at one time or another and he’d never heard of a Moonlight lane. That left him only one way to figure it out.
“TO THE LIBRARY~wait…” He cut himself off.
Am I seriously considering going to this? I mean, it definitely sounds interesting, but this whole letter thing is as shady as a trenchcoat superstore. Hell, there are two DIFFERENT dates on if for the meeting, which even is it?!
July 23 or 26. In hindsight, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out considering it said it had to be on whichever was a friday, though Anthony couldn’t even remember what today’s date was, yet another reason to head back to the library. With a new objective and an old destination Anthony came to his decision.
Whether it ends up turning sour or not it should be interesting. Maybe this’ll be the start to a big adventure like I’ve always dreamed of! It’ll be a trap and there’ll be a bunch of evil doers with a world ending plot and I’m the only one who can save everyone! Probably not though, I’d just die if that happened. Anthony thought grimly.
Folding up the letter and returning it to his pocket Anthony stood and made his way out of the room.
Thankfully the trip back to the library was uneventful for Anthony. His guards that had been left back at Luna’s room still hadn't returned, and because it was night none of the thestrals payed him much mind as he made his way through the halls, lit visibly by the pale moonlight from the windows and the occasional lamp that lined the walls. Soon enough he was opening the stained glass door and entering the library once again. However, this time he wasn’t met with the usual encroaching silence of the library, his ears immediately caught the sounds of snoring.
Moving past the shelves, the snoring grew louder as Anthony walked up to the circulation desk.
“Uh… Mr. Light?” Anthony asked quietly. Before him, sitting exactly as he was when he had left the library, was Night Light. Except now he was fast asleep, face pressed deeply into a book on his desk, glasses askew and drool slowly dripping from his open muzzle, dampening the pages.
“Well, since you’re still here I, could use, you, awake…” Anthony muttered to himself. A wicked smile spread across the human’s face before he stepped back and took a deep breath.
“AH! NIGHT LIGHT, JUST THE PONY I WAS LOOKING FOR!”