//------------------------------// // The Best Night Ever or Don’t Get Your Hopes Up // Story: Permanent Vacation // by Apple_Crack //------------------------------// “Permanent Vacation” The Best Night Ever or Don’t Get Your Hopes Up         So, tonight is the Grand Galloping Gala. Twilight came by early this morning to notify me that we are all meeting at Carousal Boutique at six for final preparations. And by preparations, I assume she means makeup and actually putting on those dresses Rarity made for them. Speaking of which, Twilight told me that Rarity made them the day of the Running of the Leaves and had the girls judge them that night. Hell, I’m surprised that nothing was wrong with them, if the episode is anything to go by. Then again, things have been different from the show. Ah, nevermind that now. I got plenty of time to kill right now. Might as well spend my free time playing Saints Row 3 and coming up with crazy new scenarios to test on the citizens of Steelport.         At five-thirty, after a nice dinner of shepherd’s pie, I head over to Carousal Boutique to get ready for the Gala as the sun begins setting over the horizon. As I near the building, I can’t help but notice the giant apple carriage with two white horses attached to it. Something is really off putting about those horses but I can’t seem to place my finger on it.         “You do realize that those ‘horses’ are mice, right? You have seen the episode where Twilight turns them into horses?”         I snap my fingers. “That’s right! I can’t believe I forgot about that.”         “I’ll give you two guesses as to who wanted the apple carriage.”         “Do you really have to ask that question?” I push open the door to the Boutique.         “Ah, come on girls, just let me in for five seconds to get my suit.” I watch as Spike sits beside a door at the back wall, begging to be let in the room beyond. Upon seeing me, he mouths that they’ve been in there for over two hours.         “I’m sorry, Spike, but Rarity is right. You’ll just have to wait until we’re finished before you can get dressed,” I hear Twilight’s voice say from the other side of the door. I walk over and stand by the door on the side that Spike isn’t at. This close to the door, I can hear the faint hum of hair dryers on the other side. “Yeah, girls. You may want to let the drake in. I mean, no better time than the present to learn about the birds and the bees.” Out of the corner of my eye, I see Spike snicker. “And I’m pretty sure one of them can give him an in-depth demonstration.” “Blake, is that you?” I hear Rarity ask. I roll my eyes. “No, it’s the freaking pool boy without a shirt and a pizza. Of course it’s me! Now, how about you open the door and let us in?” “Blake! Have you no decency for a lady and her privacy?!” “Well, how do you expect us to get dressed before the Gala?” “Hold your horses there partner. We’ll be done faster than a jackrabbit hopped up on caffeine,” Applejack says. “Or, and this is just a thought here, you could just give us our outfits and we’ll get changed in a different room?” I hear the hair dryers turn off. “That… Is actually a really good idea. Why didn’t I think of it?” Twilight says. The door cracks open slightly and a white arm reaches out from behind the door, holding two pairs of suits. After I grab the suits, the hand quickly retracts and the door slams shut. I shake my head and laugh as Spike and I head upstairs, him giving me a high five along the way. “I don’t know why I have to solve every problem that crops up around here.” Five minutes later, Spike and I head back downstairs, both of us dressed in our stylish black tuxedos. But I have the addition of a fedora, which makes me even better looking. “Finally, I get to have some guy time!” I laugh. “Yeah, it’ll be good to hang out with you.” “Remind me to take you to Donut Joe’s…” Spike stops right at the bottom of the steps and stares ahead, almost causing me to fall over him. “Jesus man! Don’t stop on the steps like that!” I look up to see what Spike is staring at and can’t believe my eyes. Standing across the room, in each of their elegant Gala dresses (Looking exactly like they do from the show but designed for their anthro body), is the girls. I can’t even begin to describe the beauty that radiates off these girls. Granted, they are beautiful without the dresses but still, the dresses just accentuate their natural beauty. I know it’s not polite to stare, but damn. I can’t seem to draw my eyes away from them. “Um, how do we look? If you want to answer, that is.” Fluttershy keeps glancing between the ground and me. “Beautiful…” Spike mumbles, staring directly at Rarity. I shake my head. Gotta focus here, can’t look like an idiot. “Tonight, even the stars pale in comparison to the beauty that radiates off you six.” I notice that all six girls blush slightly. “Being a little too poetic there, ain’t ya?” “Hey, don’t judge me for speaking the truth.” “Thank you,” Fluttershy says, her voice just within the range of my hearing.  I head towards the front door, stepping off to the side and holding it open. “Ladies first.” I bow and motion out the door. Spike catches on to what I’m doing and rushes out the door, holding open the door on the side of the carriage. The girls file out the door and into the carriage, each one thanking Spike and I. Once Rainbow climbs in, I motion for Spike to climb in as well. He shakes his head. “I can’t,” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, “Somepony needs to drive the carriage.” I walk over and pat him on the head. “You let me take care of that. Now get in there. I’ll be joining you shortly.” Spike’s eyes light up with glee as he goes to climb up into the carriage, but he stops. “Are you sure you can handle this?” I motion for him to keep climbing. “Trust me, of course I can. Now go hang out with your lady friend.” Without another word, Spike leaps up into the carriage. I turn around and scan the streets. Okay, so how exactly am I going to make this work? I spot a grey stallion with a messy dark blue mane, wearing a zipped up brown jacket and blue jeans walking down the road. Something about him seems strikingly familiar. “Excuse me! Sir!” I wave to the stallion. Time to put on the charm. He looks around and spots me, walking over. “Ah, hello there. Wonderful night for a walk, isn’t it? Name’s Night Watch.” He holds his hand out, which I shake. “Blake Quinter. And yes, it is a wonderful night out. But, I was wondering if you could do me a favor for tonight?” ‘ Night cocks his head. “And what do you need friend?” His eyes glance at the carriage. “You need somepony to drive your carriage tonight?” “Exactly. If you could assist my companions and me on our little journey tonight, I would be forever grateful. You will, of course, be compensated for your help.” I reach into my pocket and pull out a bag of sixty bits. Night laughs. “Of course friend. I will gladly assist you tonight. I’ve driven many a carriage and know my way around them. And payment is not needed.” I thrust the bag into his hands. “But I insist. Please, buy yourself something nice tonight while we’re in Canterlot.” Night raises an eyebrow. “Canterlot, eh? This wouldn’t have anything to do with the Grand Galloping Gala tonight?” “Indeed it does friend. Are you still willing to make the trip?” “Hey!” I turn around to see Rainbow sticking her head out the carriage door. “Let’s go already!” Her head disappears back into the carriage. He laughs. “I can see your friends are impatient. And don’t worry, I’ll still take you all to Canterlot. Besides, it’ll give me a reason to visit my sister tonight.” I turn around to see Night climbing up the front of the carriage to sit at the reins. “Wait, you have a sister in Canterlot? Who?” Night chuckles. “My sister is a very famous cello player with the Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra. Her name is Octavia Melody.” That’s why he looks so familiar. “Interesting. I may just have to hear her play sometime. Well, we’d best be off if we intend to make it to the Gala in time.” Night nods his head. “Indeed. Climb in back and we’ll be off.” I bow. “Again, thank you kind sir.” I climb into the carriage and see Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Spike sitting on the bench to my right. To my left are Rainbow, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. As I sit down between Pinkie and Rainbow, the carriage lurches as we start moving. “Finally!” Rainbow throws her hands in the air. “Took you long enough. What were you doing anyway?” “I was securing a driver for tonight.” Twilight looks at me, an eyebrow raised. “I thought Spike was supposed to be the driver tonight?” I shake my head. “For shame, Twilight, for shame. Having one of your friends drive us to Canterlot instead of being back here to hang with all of us? For shame.” “Okay, so I didn’t think that one through.”  Twilight blushes as we all have a laugh at her expense. “So, what’s on the agenda for tonight?” “I, for one, am going to spend some quality time with Princess Celestia. I haven’t been able to since moving to Ponyville.” “Ah’ll be selling Apple family apples to the hungry masses.” Fluttershy plays with a strand of her hair. “Um, I’ll be in the Royal Gardens with all the cute little animals. Unless somepony wants me somewhere else.” “I’ll be hanging out with the Wonderbolts, telling them stories of my awesome moves!” “Partying!” I roll my eyes. Should’ve seen that one coming. “And I’ll be looking for the dashing Prince Charming to whisk me off my feet for a night of romance.” Twilight turns to me. “What about you two, Spike and Blake? What are you going to do tonight?” I shrug my shoulders. “Not sure. I’ll probably spend some time at the castle, then Spike and I are going to hit the town. Also, I need to talk to Celestia about something.” “You’re not going to stay for the entire Gala? It’s okay if you’re not…” Fluttershy asks. “Are you kidding? Spike and I will probably be bored in five minutes. Tell you what though, Spike told me about a place called Donut Joe’s.” Twilight claps her hands. “Oh, I love Donut Joe’s! I used to go there all the time when I lived in Canterlot.” I nod my head. “He told me that too. As such, we should all meet up there after the Gala, agreed?” I get nodding of heads and general statements of agreement from the girls and Spike. Rainbow crosses her arms and leans back in her seat. “Ugh, this is a boring trip.” “Patience, Rainbow Dash. We only just left Ponyville. According to my calculations, barring any unforeseen circumstances, we should arrive in Canterlot in thirty minutes.” Leave it to Twilight to get the exact time for a trip. Rainbow groans in protest. I pat her on the shoulder. “Hey, cheer up. I know a way to pass some of the time and get us pumped up for the night.” Rainbow turns her head to look at me. “How?” I reach into my suit pocket and pull out my iPod. “Through the power of music, my prismatic friend.” I slide through my songs until I find I Gotta Feeling. We bob our heads along with the music as we ride along to Canterlot. We spend the rest of the time during our trip, after the song ends of course, making small talk and enjoying the company of each other. As we near the castle, I look out one of the windows to admire Canterlot. Just from the architecture alone, the city screams high society. It’s almost as if someone took the city of Paris and slightly re-sculpted it to fit their vision. “It’s cities like these that have the best nightlife.” I grin. “Of course I can’t forget about the nightlife. Just gotta make an appearance at the castle, ask Celestia a few things, then Spike and I will hit the town.” “Now that is a plan I can get behind!” The carriage lurches to a stop outside the castle. The door swiftly opens, Night holding it so we can get out. I’m the first to get out, stepping off to the side as the girls climb out and stare in awe at the castle. “Again, thank you, Night, for driving us up here,” I say as the girls wander towards the front entrance of the castle, Spike rushing to keep up with them. Night waves his hand as he shuts the carriage door. “No, thank you, Blake, for allowing me this wonderful trip to gaze at the stars and visit my sister. What time should I arrive to pick you all up?” I think about this. I estimate that the night will be ruined in about two to two and a half hours. “Meet us at a place called Donut Joe’s in two and a half hours.” Night nods his head. “Will do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a gift to buy for my sister. Maybe I’ll buy her one of those bowties she is so found of.” I chuckle as he climbs back up to the reins of the carriage and sets off down the street. With our ride home taken care of, I head into the castle to talk to Celestia. As I cross the threshold of the entrance, I see Spike just standing there. “The girls scatter on you?” He sighs. “Yeah,” He looks up at me, “But at least we’re gonna hang out.” I pat him on the head. “Of course, Spike, of course. But first I need to talk to Celestia. Why don’t you go enjoy some of the food while I do that?” “Heh, you don’t have to tell me twice.”  Spike heads over to a buffet table filled with typical foods found at these kind of events, like Deviled Eggs. Guessing that the throne room is directly ahead, if my knowledge of castle layouts is correct, I head in that direction. As I walk, I study the palace itself. While the city screams high class, when compared to the castle, it’s more like a quiet whisper. Statues of each of the races sit at the corner of the room, a large glass chandelier hangs from the ceiling, and the banners detailing the sun and moon hanging from the walls really gives the feel of this being a high society party. I also notice the guards, decked out in their royal gold armor with white chainmail underneath. However, for a party this size, it seems that there are too few guards to properly maintain the peace. I stop and stare at a corner of the room. Somehow, I feel like something, or someone, is watching me. “Dude, if Celestia has the day guard, most of them would be off duty right now.” “And Luna has the night guard, which would be on duty right now!” It makes sense now. Luna’s guard would likely be trained in the art of stealth and espionage due to then working in the night. They must be hiding around the palace to give potential criminals the idea that there aren’t a lot of guards here. I shake my head and resume walking forward. As I climb a staircase, I see my destination, the throne room. At the far end sits Princess Celestia in her golden yellow throne, with Twilight already standing by her side. Luck fortunes me tonight since a line hasn’t formed yet to see the Princess. As I walk towards them, I glance at the stained glass windows along the way. Each one details an important event in Equestrian history. Let’s see here… The most recent is the defeat of Nightmare Moon and the return of Luna thanks to the Elements of Harmony. Reaching the steps before the throne, I kneel down. “Princess Celestia, thank you for inviting me for tonight.” Celestia waves her hand as I stand up. “It was my pleasure, Blake. Tell me, are you enjoying tonight’s events?” “Why yes, Princess, I am. And I can see Twilight is enjoying every moment of it,” Twilight blushes as we both look at her. “But I’m curious where you sister is? I enjoy her company and wish for her to join us tonight.” Celestia smiles. “She is currently in her tower. I could teleport you there, if you like?” I nod my head. “Yes, Princess, but may I ask one more thing of you before you teleport me?” “Of course. What ails you, my subject?” Part of me wants to chastise her for calling me her subject. “If you wouldn’t mind, could we discuss this in private?” Celestia horn lights up and a yellow dome surrounds us. With a nod of her head, I continue. “Would you mind meeting me later at Donut Joe’s here in Canterlot, along with the Captain of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire?” Celestia raises an eyebrow. “And what is the nature of this meeting?” I smirk. “I have a need for the talents of the Wonderbolts in the future, and your help with contacting them and setting this up.” Celestia smiles, a strange warmth seeming to radiate off of the smile alone. “Very well, we shall meet you there. Is that all you needed from me tonight?” I nod my head. In a bright flash, I’m now standing in a darkened room with only the moonlight filtering in through a window providing illumination. That, and the fact that a pair of pure white eyes are staring at me from within the shadows. I gulp. “Luna, is that you?” The shadows seem to crawl into the corner as the room lights up thanks to a desk lamp and candles. Luna is sitting on the end of her bed, a giant smile on her face. Jumping up, she walks over and wraps me in a hug. “Blake, it is good to see you again!” I return the hug with glee. I could die happy right now. “It is good to see you too, Luna. Tell me,” I pull out of the embrace and look at Luna’s face, “Why aren’t you with your sister right now?” Luna huffs and crosses her arms. “My sister may enjoy sucking up to the nobles, but I have no interest in becoming like her.” I smirk. “Well then, I guess you’ll accept my offer to join Spike and I tonight in an effort to get away tonight?” The shadows wrap around Luna, pulling her into their tight embrace. As fast as the shadows appear, they jump back into hiding. Standing before me now is not Princess Luna, but a midnight blue unicorn mare with a short, cropped mane wearing the same clothes as Luna. She is about the same height as me. A smirk adorns her face. “Well, how do I look?” Her voice sounds like Luna, but much higher pitched. I whistle. “Nice trick. I take it you’ve been practicing this illusion spell for a while now?” Luna nods her head. “It was one of the first spells I mastered. You just gave me a reason to use it again.” I offer my arm to Luna. “So, what do I call you now?” Luna wraps her arm around the crook of my elbow, a smile on her face. “Call me Moonlight. I doubt anypony is still alive to remember that alias.” “Very well then, Moonlight, we still need to pick up Spike from the foyer before we can have some fun tonight.” She giggles. “Ah, you gonna get it tonight!” “You know what I mean.” Luna’s, ahem, Moonlight’s horn glows and with a bright flash, we’re now standing in front of the entrance of the castle. Walking inside, I head over and grab Spike from his spot by the buffet table. Once we’re back outside, Spike jerks his thumb towards Moonlight. “Who’s the mare?” I pat him on the head. “That mare has a name, and she is called Moonlight.” Moonlight holds out her hand. “Charmed to meet you, Spike the Dragon.” Spike shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Moonlight.” I shake my head at the sad display before me. I’m gonna have to teach that boy some manners one of these days. I lean down and whisper in Spike’s ear… fin… whatever, “Keep it quiet, but you just touched the Princess of the Night.” “Princess?!” I slap my hand over Spike’s mouth, glancing around to see if anyone heard him. Thankfully, we’re alone out here. I remove my hand, Spike glancing back and forth between Moonlight and I. “Princess Luna?” “No, Spike, this isn’t Princess Luna, this is our friend, Moonlight, who will be joining us tonight for our journey around town. Luna is currently in her room in the castle.” Spike winks at me. “Oh, my mistake. Sorry about that, Moonlight. You just seem so similar to the Princess.” Moonlight giggles. Man, I’ll never get tired of hearing that. “Oh, it is no trouble at all, Spike. I get that all the time.” I pat Spike on the back. “Well then, since you’re the expert on Canterlot here, what are the best places to hit tonight?” Spike taps his chin. “Other than Donut Joe’s, the only other place I know of is the Falling Moon club,” Moonlight’s eyes light up with glee. I nod my head. “I’m up for the club. How about you, Moonlight?” Moonlight nods her head. “Well then, who’s ready for the best night ever?!” We all cheer as we rush down the street, ready for whatever the night holds for us.         “And then, I dumped the feathers on her and said, ‘Look who’s the cock of the walk now!’” I pound my fist on the table, laughing at Moonlight’s story of her pranking Celestia during their younger years. This turned out to be one of the best nights in a long time. We went to the club, danced, had a few drinks (Spike was exempt from this one. Can’t get the little guy drunk now, can I?), and came to Donut Joe’s for food and coffee (All on the expense of the crown to boot!). Hell, we even managed to pick up Vinyl Scratch, who was in Canterlot to perform, after she finished her set at the Falling Moon. Of course, we let her in on the secret of Moonlight.         “Oh man, that is easily one of the best pranks ever, Moonlight!” I grab a donut and scarf it down.         “And that’s not all! She started making chicken sounds after that!” Moonlight says.         Spike falls out of his seat to roll on the floor. “Celestia making chicken sounds?! Now I wish I could have seen that!”         Vinyl laughs, holding her fist out to Spike. “Me too, little buddy! Hey, try getting Celestia to lighten up a bit more, will ya, Moonlight, so we have more awesome stories like this!”         I idly glance outside. “Hey, what time is it? And on that note, when does the Gala end?”         Vinyl shrugs her shoulders before pulling out her iApple. “It’s about nine. Strange, usually I’m buzzing at this point in the night.”         Moonlight shrugs her shoulders. “I’m not sure. My sister failed to inform me of its ending time.”         “Yo, Joe!” I wave to Donut Joe as he glances up from his spot behind the display case filled with almost every kind of donut imaginable. “Could we get another round of coffee and donuts over here?”         “Coming right up,” He says in his gruff, yet caring, voice. As Joe places a platter of donuts in front of us and refills our mugs, he glances up out the window behind me and pauses. “Is that…” Everyone turns to look out the window, save for me.         “Let me guess. A stampede of animals is running down the street?” They all nod their heads. Hey, those animals Fluttershy scared had to go somewhere. “The girls will be here in about ten minutes.”         Vinyl shakes her head. “Pfft, yeah right. Like a stampede of animals is going to signal the arrival of the Elements of Harmony.”         I smirk and look at Vinyl. “Oh yeah? Wanna bet on that one?” I hear Moonlight snicker.         Vinyl tilts her shades down slightly, allowing me to see her eyes. “You sure you wanna make a bet with me? You do realize what I could do?”         “I’m fully aware of that. Now then, onto the bets. If I win, you have to, right here and now in front of everybody present, kiss me for a full ten seconds.” Childish, yes, but I’m not going too deep with this bet in case I am wrong.         Vinyl smirks. “Oh, so you wanna play that way? Fine, if I win, I get to set you up on a blind date with anypony I decide. And trust me, I know a lot of ponies.” She holds out her hand.         Hmm, tough choice. I don’t need to get into a relationship right now, but getting Vinyl to lose… I shake her hand. “You got yourself a deal.” Either way this turns out, I win.         “You idiot! She didn’t specify if the date is going to be male or female!”         I frown. “Way to kill the mood.”         “If you lose, you’re on your own. Can’t believe I got stuck with you.”         I groan. “Can’t believe I didn’t think that one through.”         Vinyl cocks her head to the side. “Didn’t think of what?”         “You were too vague with the date thing. You could set me up with anyone of either gender.”         Vinyl smirks. “I didn’t think of that, but thanks for bringing it up.”         “You stupid. Fucking. Moron! Keep your mouth shut!”         I smack my forehead off the table as everybody laughs at me. “Great, just what I needed.” Please let the girls come within ten minutes.         As we wait, Vinyl keeps nudging me as time ticks on, getting closer and closer to my end. At around the nine minute mark, Vinyl leans back and props her feet up on the table. “Well, looks like I get to choose a date for ya.”         I waggle my finger at her. “Don’t get too cocky now. It ain’t over yet.” A little bell hanging above the front door jingles, causing all of us to turn at the source of intrusion. I smirk at the sight before me. “Speak of the devil, here they are now.” The girls file in the building, each one of them having scruff marks on their body and their dresses ripped and torn in multiple places (Thankfully, not anywhere revealing.) Moonlight and Spike snicker at the sight of them while my eye catches a little exchange of bits between the two.  Vinyl shakes her head and laughs. “Well, a bet’s a bet.” Before I can react, Vinyl pulls my head towards hers. Her lips touch mine and I try to pull away, but soon relax and let Vinyl do her thing. I can hear cheering come from Spike and Moonlight. Her tongue darts into my mouth, dancing with mine, as her hand runs up and down the back of my head. For what seems like an eternity, we stay like this. But alas, Vinyl pulls away, leaving the faint taste of cherries on my lips. I shake my head to clear it of thoughts. “Wow. I should have bet something different, since it seems you’re an expert at this.” Vinyl smirks and shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, you should have seen me in college. Man, those were the days.” I look at the girls to see them staring, some with open mouths. And what’s this? I can see Rainbow’s wings twitching slightly. “Well, don’t just stand there! Pull up a chair and tell us about your night!” The girls shake their heads and join us at the table. “Can I ask what that was about?” Twilight asks. I shrug my shoulders. “A little bet I won. Anyway, let me introduce you to our new friend, Moonlight.” Each of the girls introduce themselves, Moonlight replying to each girl. “So, want to explain what happened to you girls?” Spike asks through a mouthful of donuts. The girls all detail how their night went, all of us laughing at their misfortune. The conversation then turns around to what Spike, Moonlight, Vinyl, and I did, which we are more than happy to do so. By the time we finish our story, the bell above the door jingles again. We all look to see Celestia and a mare in a blue and yellow flight jacket and pants with a mane reminding me of fire standing at the door. The mare is standing at attention. Donut Joe looks like he’s about to pass out.  Out of the corner of my eye, I see Rainbow nearly jump out of her seat at the sight of Spitfire. “Princess Celestia! We’re so sorry for ruining the Gala,” Twilight says, glancing from Celestia to the floor as the rest of the girls do the same. Celestia laughs. “Why, Twilight, you didn’t ruin the Gala. In fact, I say this has been the most eventful Gala in ages.” “So you’re not upset at all?” Rarity asks. “Of course not. Every Gala is the same thing every time, a formal gathering for the nobles of Equestria, which tends to get boring. I invited you all so that you may liven it up a bit.” “Yeah, Twilight. Even I would get bored on the same thing day in and day out. Besides, I’m not one for formal events. Why do you think Luna wasn’t with Celestia and greeting the nobles?” I hear Moonlight snicker. Twilight rubs the back of her head. “I never thought about that.” “Speaking of my sister, how was your night, Luna? Did you enjoy the time you spent with Blake and Spike?” “It has been one of the best nights since my return. You should have been there, sister. I daresay you may have enjoyed it,” Moonlight replies, a smirk on her face. The girls glance between Moonlight and Celestia. “Uh, beg pardon, Princess, but this here is Moonlight,” Applejack points at Moonlight, “Not yer sister.” Spike, Vinyl, and I smirk and turn towards Moonlight. “Would you care to drop the act, Moonlight?” With a flash, Luna sits before us, a grin on her face. “Princess Luna?!” Nearly everybody shouts, save for those of us in the loop.  I look at Joe to see him sweating up a storm. “That’s right, Joe. You’ve been serving a Princess all along and I’m pretty sure she enjoyed the service. Isn’t that right, Luna?” Luna nods her head. “But… But… How?” Twilight manages to ask after a bit. “A simple illusion spell, Twilight. Well for an alicorn at least. I used it to disguise myself tonight so that I may enjoy it without worrying about how my subjects would perceive me,” Luna explains. I stand up and head over to Celestia and Spitfire. “While all of you talk, I have some important business to talk about with Celestia and Spitfire here. Celestia, if you would please make this a private conversation?” “Of course,” Celestia says as she heads to the other side of the room, Spitfire and I following her. Her horn glows and the yellow dome surrounds us. “Now, I don’t believe you two had the pleasure of meeting yet.” Spitfire holds her hand out. “Spitfire, Captain of the Wonderbolts.” I shake her hand. “Blake, human. Pleasure to meet you.” “Now then, what was it that you needed, Blake?” Celestia asks. “Well,” I rub the back of my head, “I was hoping that the Wonderbolts could perform in Ponyville in the future on a date I specify.” Celestia raises an eyebrow. “And what is the purpose of this performance?” I sigh. “An orphan by the name of Scootaloo lives in Ponyville. She is constantly picked on and can barely fly. In a way, she reminds me of myself when I was younger. I had few, if any, people support me through those times, and right now, she needs all the support she can get. I had hoped that getting the Wonderbolts to perform on her birthday, which I need to figure out when, would keep her spirits up. Help her, ya know, keep going through the fight, and remind her that there are people looking out for her.” Celestia smiles warmly and places a hand on my shoulder. “That is a noble thing to do, Blake, and I will gladly support you in your endeavor, as I’m sure the Wonderbolts will as well.” Celestia looks at Spitfire. “Certainly, Princess. We’re always willing to inspire the younger generation of flyers. But our services don’t come cheap.” “The crown will cover any expense.” “Thank you for this. I’m positive that Scootaloo will love this. Now then, would you be able to do a custom routine?” I ask. Spitfire reaches into the confines of her jacket and smirks, pulling out an iApple emblazoned in the colors of the Wonderbolts. “Always willing to do special routines for fans. Got a specific song for us to use?” I pull out my iPod and slide through the song list. “Got it right here.” Celestia and Spitfire raise an eyebrow. “You do realize that you can’t transfer songs—“ I wave my hand. “Already went through this, found out I can bypass the security settings on these devices, probably from being from a different world and such. And no, Celestia, I have no intention of using this to cut into the profits the music industry makes.” Celestia nods her head. “Interesting. Please, continue.” Spitfire and I touch our devices and I tap the song. After waiting a bit, Spitfire pulls her iApple away and slides through her song list before turning it to me. “This the song?” I glance at the screen and nod my head. “Exactly what I wanted.” “Well then, we’ll have a routine figured out by the time this filly’s birthday rolls around.” “Again, thank you so much. You won’t believe how much this means to me and Scootaloo,” I turn to Celestia. “I’m going to need to contact you again with the date needed for this… Or better yet, I’ll get it right now. Mind dropping the dome, Celestia?” The dome dissipates and I turn to the rest of the girls. “Yo, Pinkie!” Pinkie frantically waves her hand in the air. “That’s me! What do I win?” “Being the premiere party pony of Ponyville, I’m sure you know when Scootaloo’s birthday is, right?” “Well duh! Give me a second.” She reaches into her hair and pulls out a calendar, flipping through it. “Let’s see here, Scootaloo, Scootaloo… Aha! Her birthday is in six months, twelve days, six hours, and nine minutes!” Everyone in the room stares at her. “Remember when I said you were stalkerish when following Scootaloo? I retract that statement and apply it to Pinkie.” “Agreed.” I shake my head. “Well, there’s your answer, Spitfire. Albeit a bit weird, but an answer. Think you can do it?” Spitfire nods her head. “Of course I can. You can always count on the Wonderbolts to get a job done.” “Oh, oh! Blake, your birthday is in here too! It’s in eight months, twenty-three days, two hours, and forty-five minutes!” Again, the stares Pinkie is receiving are overwhelming. “How would you even know that, assuming that that calendar is right?! I didn’t tell anybody!” Pinkie places the calendar back in her hair. “Oh, it constantly updates itself every time a new pony moves to Ponyville!” Rarity glances out the window. Her eyes widen and she turns with a huff, drawing all attention to the room to her. “Rarity, what’s wrong?” Twilight asks. “It’s that uncouth prince that completely disrespected me the entire time at the Gala. Some prince he turned out to be.” She points out the window and I look to see a stallion in a black suit and blue bowtie with a blond mane storming down the street. “Pfft, that guy? He’s the one who disrespected you?” Rarity nods her head. “Give me five minutes with him. Princess, is there a spell to allow others to hear a conversation from a distance?” Celestia nods her head, “Good, cast it on Blueblood and I so everybody here can hear us,” I say as I head for the door. “Hold up there partner. What are ya going to do exactly?” Applejack asks. “Just going to have a little chat with him,” I push open the door and step out onto the sidewalk, the door swinging shut behind me. Blueblood has already passed the restaurant. I walk into the center of the street and yell, “Yo, Blueballs!” Blueblood whips his head around and sets his gaze on me. “What did you call me you pathetic little welp?!” “You heard me, Blueballs. You’re just another dumbass on the streets right now!” I look to my right and catch the gaze of a donkey staring at me, a scowl on its face, “No offense, sir.” “Fuck you!” The donkey yells back as he continues walking down the sidewalk, flipping me the bird the entire time. “Send me a clone and I probably would!” Blueblood storms right up to me and pokes me in the chest. “Do you have any idea who you’re talking to right now, peasant?! I clench my fists, ready to deck this guy a new one if needed. “Prince Blueblood, the most narcissist pony to ever walk the planet, and the asshole with no respect for anybody.” Blueblood scoffs. “Don’t talk to me about respect! That mare that completely disrespected me in front all the nobles of Canterlot clearly has no respect for the upper class! And what would you know about respect?!” “Our friends may want to cover their ears.” “I know that,” I take a deep breath, “NOTHING IS MORE BADDASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT! And you have disrespected my friend tonight.” Bluebloods eyes widen. “Oh, so you know the mare I’m looking for? Well then, I’ll see to it that you’ll both never be able to show your faces in Canterlot anymore, let alone Equestria! I’ll have the Princess lock you both up for treating a noble like this!” I smirk. Time to reveal the game changer. “Well, I’d like to see what Celestia thinks of that.” I turn towards the restaurant window. “Wave hi, Celestia, Luna, and Rarity!” Three hands wave back as everybody watches us. I look at Blueblood to see him sweating and trembling. “Princesses!” I wrap my arm around him. “Yes, along with the mare, Rarity Belle, that supposedly disrespected you, and her friends, collectedly known as the Elements of Harmony. You heard of them right? The saviors of Equestria from Nightmare Moon? And look at that! They’re all having donuts and coffee together, like what friends would do! Now, do you think Celestia would punish any of them, or do something to ruin one of Equestria’s greatest defense mechanisms?” Blueblood doesn’t respond. He just stands there, mouth opening and closing in shock. “Hey, Celestia, did Rarity tell you her side of the story?” Celestia nods her head. “And you heard Blueblood’s side?” Again, a nod. “Well, do you think Rarity should be punished?” Celestia shakes her head. “Well, there you have it. Rarity Belle is not to be punished!” Before Blueblood can move, I grab him by his suit and pull him close so he’s staring into my eyes. “You, on the other hand, still have a lesson to learn.” “Please, don’t hurt me,” Blueblood whimpers. “Oh, I won’t. But if I find out that you disrespect any, and I mean any, mare in Equestria again, I will find you and make you even less of a stallion than you are right now and shove it so far down your throat that they’ll have to invent a new term for it! Got it?” Blueblood nods his head. “Good, but we ain’t done yet. I want you to run twenty laps around this block as further punishment. I will be sitting with my friends, watching the street. If I don’t see you every four minutes, I will make good on my previous statement right here in the middle of the street. And you better be sweating each time. Your time starts now.” I let Blueblood go and he stumbles backwards. “But—” “Go!” Blueblood scrambles away from me. I stand in the street till I see him round the corner. Satisfied, I head back inside Joe’s, a smile on my face. “We handled that pretty well, don’t ya think?” “We?! I did all the talking!” The inside of the restaurant erupts with cheering and clapping from almost everyone present. I bow, and then retake my seat at the table. “Way to go, Blake!” Rainbow hits me on the shoulder. Applejack laughs. “I ain’t ever seen a pony that scared before!” “Wowie, you sure know how to handle big jerks!” “Thank you for sticking up for me dear,” Rarity plants a light kiss on my cheek, “And might I say, well done. That brute deserved it.” “Oh, umm… You were great.” “Now I’m kinda glad I didn’t have to deal with the nobles much back when I lived here.” “Nice work!” Spike holds his fist out to me, which I gladly bump back as I notice Blueblood pass by on the street. “Man, that guy was totally killing the mood.” Luna huffs and crosses her arms. “Now you know why we don’t care for the nobles. Still, excellent work.” Spitfire shakes her head. “If he was my commanding officer, I wouldn’t listen to a single word that escapes his lips.” Celestia sighs. “Prince Blueblood is one of the few nobles I’ve had the pleasure of dealing with. But tell me, do you really intend to go through with your deed should he fail to listen to you?” At this, all eyes turn to me. “This is a crucial point right now. Don’t screw this up!” “Relax. I got this.” “Pfft, are you kidding? I would never do that to another man, let alone go that far. Trust me, the only reason I said that stuff is because fear is a powerful motivator, and I can attest to that.” Twilight nods her head. “It’s true. Studies have shown that when faced with fear—” Rainbow groans. “Twilight, can we please just enjoy the rest of the night without you having to egghead it up?” Twilight blushes as we all laugh at her, while I notice Blueblood pass by outside. Let’s see… he’s about threelaps in. Spitfire excuses herself, saying she needs to get started on a new routine. Before she leaves, however, she turns to me and winks. Princess Luna and Celestia leave shortly after, teleporting themselves back to the castle. The rest of us eat and drink till Blueblood barges in through the door, his breath coming in short bursts and his suit stained with sweat. “Ah, Blueblood, glad to see you can follow instructions. Very well, you’re free to go.” Blueblood nods once and scrambles out the door. Moments later, Night Watch arrives with our carriage. Upon seeing him, Vinyl jumps up. “Ah man! I didn’t know you guys brought Night Watch with!” “Yeah, he’s our carriage driver for the night. Said it gave him a reason to see his sister, Octavia.” We all stand up from our seats and head for the door. “I haven’t seen him in ages! You do know he’s the one who hooked Octy and me up, right?” “Octavia Melody? Of the famed Canterlot Philharmonic Orchestra? I never would have thought,” Rarity says, getting a mummer of agreement from the rest of the girls and Spike. “Yeah, we try to keep it on the down low though.” We step outside and Vinyl runs towards Night Watch. “Hey, buddy! Long time no see!” Night turns to her. “Ah, Vinyl Scratch! A pleasure to see you again! Tell me, has my sister been giving you trouble?” Vinyl laughs. “You know it, but it wouldn’t be fun without a challenge!” I walk over and pat Night’s shoulder. “Glad to see you made it, Night. One question that I’m sure is on everybody’s mind right now is, why? Why would you hook up someone like Vinyl with someone like Octavia?” Night chuckles. “Have you seen my sister? And the way Vinyl acts at times?” Vinyl playfully punches him in the shoulder, “I believed that the two would balance themselves out. It would teach my sis to loosen up a bit, and Vinyl to act mature for once.” Twilight rubs her chin in thought. “Well, they do say opposites attract.” Night finally looks at the girls. “Woah. I must have missed something massive for you all to look like that.” Spike snickers, earning a swift kick in the leg from Rainbow Dash. I chuckle. “Check the news tomorrow and you’ll find out. Long story short, they brought this on themselves when the Gala wasn’t going according to their plans.” Night laughs as well. “Well, I can see you’ve all had a long day, as have I. Are we ready to return to Ponyville?” We all nod our heads, “And I take it you will be joining us, Vinyl?” Vinyl walks over and climbs into the carriage. “Yeah, seeing as the last train left about an hour ago.” We all follow Vinyl’s lead, save for Night, and climb into the carriage. Our ride home proves to be uneventful, with most of us deciding to sleep right then and there. Pulling into Ponyville, everybody groggily awakens and goes their separate ways, bidding good nights and promises of meeting up tomorrow for a movie night at my place.