Permanent Vacation

by Apple_Crack

Lesson Zero or Zero Hour

Author's Note:

Told ya to expect a chapter this week.

“Permanent Vacation”

Lesson Zero or Zero Hour

I can say with honesty that I know what the hell happened during the celebratory drinking Briar and I were doing. I can vaguely remember slamming my fifth or sixth shot down, but everything after that is just one big black void. All I do know is that someone had managed to get me onto a train, cause that's where I woke up. And it's gotta be the one going to Ponyville, because Spike and the girls are on the train with me, though they are still fast asleep. I groan at the splitting headache I have, roll back over, and refuse to move till I'm back in Ponyville or the headache goes away. I must have fell back asleep cause next thing I know, we're pulling into Ponyville and disembarking.

As much as I love spending time with everyone, I quickly head home to nurse my hangover some more. I open the door just the slightest, which is enough for Sonja to stick her head out and forcibly use her body to open it the rest of the way. I pat her head as she bounds around me. I head inside and shut the door behind me.

“Scootaloo, I'm back!” I trudge into the living room to find Scootaloo playing... Uncharted. Huh, interesting choice for her. I reach over the couch and tousle her mane.

She's quick to pause the game and reach up to swat my hand away. “Quit it!”

I chuckle. “Alright, alright. I'll let you alone. Did I happen to miss anything major?”

She turns around while shaking her head. “Nah, nothing important, unless you—” She blinks. “Woah, you look like shit.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Nice to see you too.”

“That's not what I meant. You look sick. Like, really sick. You feeling alright, Dad?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing a little sleep won't fix.”

She raises an eyebrow, but eventually shakes her head and turns her attention back to the game. “Whatever you say. Oh, Pinkie was just by. Said she's leaving you something important in the kitchen.”

Of course Pinkie would somehow beat me home... Whatever. I chuckle and head into the kitchen. Sitting on the table is a thermos. I take the lid off and peer at the gold liquid inside. I take a sip and am instantly reminded of her hangover cure. I smile and drink some more. Gotta remember to thank Pinkie sometime for this. With a content sigh, I sit down at the table and just relax, idly rubbing Sonja under the table with my foot.

As some of the haze clears from my head, I float out my laptop and start writing down future plans for the band. I'm still not sure how long I was there, but it was long enough for Scootaloo to complain about wanting dinner. And since she wanted to complain, I roped her into making it with me. Not that she was gonna complain about that though.

---

I wave goodbye to Vinyl as I leave her store and studio. It's been a long and grueling week and a half, but we're finally ready to release our next album. We had actually finished recording a couple of days ago, but Vinyl and I still had to work out the finer details. But now that we're ready, it's one less thing on my plate. I let out a content sigh as I stroll through town, no real destination in mind.

I check the time on my phone. Still got a ways to go before a picnic with the girls, generously provided and set up by none other than Rarity, but Applejack's insistence for providing the food eventually caused Rarity to concede on that point. I elected to bring my own food though, lest they deal with the hassle of providing something for me. But... That just means I got plenty of time to kill before then.

“You and I could always talk.”

“And what insanely profound thing do you want to talk about?”

“I'm glad you asked! I've been working on improving your magical abilities, basically nudging your body to be a bit more adaptable to magic.”

“You can do that? I'm not sure I'm comfortable with you being able to so easily... Rewrite me like that.”

“Relax. I've just been optimizing what's already here. I know you're still sensitive about the whole 'I've got magic now because I've been infused with magical blood but humans don't have magic so am I still human', so I'm not gonna dabble in that area without your express permission.”

“So now you respect my wishes? That's never stopped you before, especially with my insistence to stop trying to hook me up with somebody. And don't deny it either, I've heard the thoughts in my head about some of the mares in town.”

“But you can't deny yourself forever! Think of what you're missing out on!”

I allow myself a smirk. “Pretty sure you're doing the thinking for both of us in that department.”

“Alright, you got me there. At least I can live out our wildest fantasies.” There's a few precious moments of silence. “Are you just gonna wander around until the picnic happens? Did you seriously not plan to do anything else?”

“Well, I wouldn't say I planned on wandering around...”

I happen to glance around, spotting Derpy at a stall in the marketplace. Something she said a while back resurfaces in my mind. “Hey, Derpy!” She turns towards me, and I to wave while walking in her direction.

She waves back before turning around to finish paying for what she purchased. She nods to the stall owner and then flies over to me. “Hey, what's up?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, the usual. Nothing much going on. But, I wanted to ask you something. I remember you telling Trixie about a gym in town. Mind pointing me in it's direction?”

She nods her head. “I can walk you there instead. I'm basically done with my shopping for the day.” She reaches into her bags and hands me an apple. “You want one?”

“Sure, and thanks.” I grab it and take a bite. I still don't know how the Apple's can get their apples to be so... Delicious. Can't just be Earth pony magic. “Lead the way.”

As we walk, and in between bites, I eventually work up the nerve to ask Derpy something. “Mind if I ask you something else?”

“Like what?”

“Well, we know each other, and we're sorta related on paper, but I feel like we don't know know each other. You get what I'm saying?”

She nods her head. “Yeah, I get that. But there's really not much to say about me.”

I chuckle and bump her shoulder. “That's what they all say. There's gotta be something you can tell me.”

She's silent for a bit. “If you want, why don't you come over for lunch or dinner one day. We can get to know each other better then.”

I smirk. “Derpy, are you propositioning me?”

She's quick to turn and punch me in the shoulder. Not hard enough to leave a bruise, but strong enough to stagger me. “Not like that!” She's laughing though, so it's all in good fun, and I'm quick to laugh too.

“Well excuse me for reading the situation wrong!” Once our laughter dies down, I answer her question. “Yeah, that sounds good. You got a date in mind?”

“I'll just leave a letter for you once I got something in mind. Sound good?” I nod my head. “Good. Hey, the gym's just up here on the left. Big sign, can't miss it.”

“Hey, thanks again for guiding me here. I'll see ya around.”

She nods her head and flies off. I watch her for a bit before continuing towards the gym. Let's see... On the left with a big sign. I guess the sign with a pony lifting a dumbbell must be the place. There's the jingling of a bell as I open the door and step inside to the sound of weights clanging together, words of encouragement from a trainer, and some pop music playing over it all. I spot a trashcan and toss the apple into it “Over here, Blake.” I glance to my left at a tan stallion sitting behind a counter. He smiles and waves as I walk towards him. “Something I can help you with?”

“Yeah, couple of questions. First, do I know you?”

He shakes his head. “No, but you're practically famous, so everypony should know you.”

I blink. Right, should really have thought of that. With a shrug, I ask my next question. “What facilities you got here?”

“We've got most of our upper body equipment, things like weights, barbells, punching bags, and the like here on the first floor. Got some more up on the second, but that's mostly lower body equipment like treadmills. We also have a dance studio for rent and a yoga class on Tuesdays and Thursday. And private showers, of course. Nopony wants to head home reeking of sweat.”

“Any pool?” He shakes his head. “Alright, any additional services?”

He nods his head. “We have lockers for you to store your personal items and trainers to assist with your road to personal wellness, though we cannot guarantee the availability of the trainers as it is a first come, first serve basis. We also sell some smaller equipment here for you to take home, some snacks and beverages, and clothing. Personally, I'd recommend buying some of the clothing before doing anything else.”

I glance down at myself and smirk. “Yeah, not exactly dressed for working out.”

He chuckles. “Happens to everyone their first time, don't worry about it. Oh, we also have a catalog of some of the larger equipment that you can purchase from our supplier. They'll deliver and setup for you as well. Care to take a look?”

I shake my head. “Hard pass for now. Membership fee required to use everything here?”

“Yes. Twenty bits a month for full access to all our equipment. Dance studio is still a rent basis and up to renters discretion to charge. It's an extra ten bits for the yoga classes, but you can pay that on a per session basis.”

I reach into my pocket and fish out twenty bits. “Let's get a membership for me going right now.”

“Excellent, let me just get your card and the necessary forms.” As he opens drawers and flips through folders, pulling out papers, I browse through their catalog of clothes. “Alright, just sign these forms and we'll get you squared away.”

I carefully read through the forms and see nothing that throws up a red flag. Pretty standard membership forms if I do say so myself. I sign my name where indicated on each form and hand them back to the stallion. He glances through each form. With a nod, he hands me a card with the logo of the gym watermarked in the corner with a spot for my name and the current date. “Just sign there and you're all set. Just bring payment each month from today to keep your membership. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

I slide over three more bits after signing my name on the card and stashing it in my pocket. “A bottle of water as well. Gotta start putting that membership to use.”

“Alright, just grab one from the cooler. Anything else? I noticed you looking at our clothing selection.”

I shake my head. “Would love to, but there's a small problem. Not designed for the tailless in mind.”

“Ah, right. Sorry, but I'm afraid that's all we carry.”

I shrug my shoulders. “No worries. Hope you have a great day.”

“And you as well, Blake.”

I slide open the door to the cooler and grab a bottle of water. I head up to the second floor, nodding at the other members as I pass them by. I walk up to an unoccupied treadmill and take my place on it, adjust everything to my liking and starting my run. I idly glance at a TV mounted on the wall from time to time, but it doesn't hold my attention for long. I instead opt to plug in some earbuds to my phone and listen to music. As an afterthought, I set an alarm. I'm thinking... A good two hours of working out will suffice for today.

As I run, I occasionally adjust the speed and slope of the treadmill to mix things ups. After some time, someone steps in front of me and waves a hand. I smile and gradually stop the treadmill, stepping off it while taking out the earbuds. “Figured I'd see you here eventually.”

“It's the only gym around. Plus, everypony needs to see how awesome I am at working out.” Rainbow flexes her arm and smirks.

I smirk. “Right, because seeing you sweating and short of breath is what everyone wants to see.”

“Hey, that means you're doing it right! Can't improve if you don't push yourself to your limits!”

I roll my eyes. “Alright, I'll agree with that. Anyway, something you need? I know the picnic ain't till later today.”

“Yeah, I know too. Came down here to get a workout in and keep this awesome body in shape.” She hefts up a duffle bag. “But seeing as you're here as well... Need a trainer?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You're a trainer here?”

“Yeah, I signed up after that whole Mare Do Well incident. If ponies wanna be fit like me, they should learn from me, ya know?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Makes sense. But what makes you think I need a trainer?”

She eyes me. “Because I've seen your workout routine. You don't mix it up. It's always a jog or using a scarecrow as a punching bag. You gotta focus on you entire body.”

Rainbow is right. I don't know the first thing about fitness, and it's not like I can just Google the answers anymore... At least Rainbow seems knowledgeable about this, and it's something she's genuinely enthused about. “Alright, you've made your point. Guess I do need a personal trainer.”

“Awesome! I'm gonna get changed. Meet me downstairs in like five.”

Rainbow is true to her word and back in five, now wearing a sports bra and shorts, both being blue with white trim. “Alright, newbie. We're gonna put you through the wringer! We're gonna make your body almost as awesome as mine!”

I frown. “Dash...”

“Alright, alright. I'll lay off the cockiness. Geeze.”

I smirk. “Better. Well, trainer, what's first?”

“Let's start off with some stretches. Bet you didn't do that, did ya?”

I pause before letting out a long sigh. “Dammit.”

What follows is a rigorous beating of my body that I honestly was not prepared for, let alone the intensity radiating from Rainbow. Whenever I'd start to slack, she'd push me just enough to get over whatever hurdle I was facing. Like always with her, everything was a contest. There was always a comment about how she'd be doing it better, how much she could lift, what her bests were. I'll wipe that smugness off her face someday... But definitely not today.

Rainbow and I called it quits a little after I had wanted to finish working out for the day. Rainbow herself decided to stick around longer and get her own workout in while I headed right for the shower. And because of my impromptu decision, I had to walk home in my sweaty clothes.

“That's your own fault.”

“Oh, be quiet. Be grateful I gave you a chance to see Rainbow in tight fitting clothes.”

“That is definitely a keeper alright.”

I shake my head. Of all the personalities to get, I had to get stuck with this one. There's a flash of light accompanied by a pop in front of me, causing me to stumble back and nearly fall. “Hiii, Blake!” I can't resist the shudder that goes through my body at the sight of Twilight. Wide eyes, grin that could rival the Cheshire Cat, and disheveled mane that has errant strands of hair poking out.

“...I'm gonna hide now. That shit is creepy up close.”

“Uh, hi, Twilight. You doing okay?”

She laughs. “I've never been better, actually! Say, you wouldn't happen to have any problems, would you? Problems that require a lengthy letter to a certain pony detailing the problem and solution so that everypony involved can better themselves?” She eyes my clothes. “Oh, you're all sweaty. I got a spell that will fix that right up!” Before I can protest, there's a flash from her horn. “There, all better!”

I pat myself. Huh, not an ounce of sweat and all my clothes are dry. “Uh... Thanks, I guess?”

“So, would you say this is a friendly thing to do, something that friends would do for one another?” She leans closer with each utterance of friend.

I take a step back. “The act of going out of your way to do something is friendly—”

“YES!” A quill and scroll appear in a flash.

I rip both of them out of her magical grasp. “BUT, casting a spell on somebody without their express permission is not a very friendly thing to do, unless it is a life or death emergency.” Her ears fold back, and I can tell she doesn't like that I denied her friendship report. Hmm... I can actually have a bit of fun with this. “Actually, there is something you can help me with, Twilight.”

She gets right into my face once again. “Anything for a friend!”

I step back once more. “Alright. Well, as you know, I'm kinda stuck in Equestria... Alone. And I've been feeling stressed out lately... Being all alone.”

“Oh, I got some books detailing some great stress relief techniques! I'll head home and—”

“I've read some of those books, Twilight. Reducing Stress: A Primer? Dealing With The Unwanted, volumes one through four? Stress: The Early Pony Killer? I've read them all, and not working. The stress I'm talking about, Twi, won't be solved by a book.”

Her eyes widen. “Is this some sort of human only stress?”

I shake my head. “I'm positive everyone experiences this kind of stress a couple of times in their life. It's something that only a... Mare's touch can solve, in my case.”

“Is this something the girls and I can help with?!”

I manage to suppress a laugh. She's making this far too easy! “You all could, but it'd take far to long to gather everyone. If you want to help me, it needs to be you and I, right now.”

“Dear Celestia, this is serious! What do I need to do?!”

“Follow me.” I lead her down the road a little ways and into an alley. “Twilight, are you absolutely sure you want to help me? I'd have no trouble going to—”

“No!” She coughs. “I mean, yes! As a good friend of yours, I will resolve to do everything in my power to help you with your problem!”

I allow a smirk to cross my face. “Fuck me. Right here, right now.”

“Okay!” Twilight reaches down to the hem of her shirt and starts to lift it. “I've read plenty of—”

Massive backfire! I leap forward and pin her arms before she can raise them any further. “Twilight! I'm just messing with you!”

She pauses, letting her shirt fall out of her hands. “You are?” I nod my head. “Then why'd you say about having a problem and all that talk about stress? What about all that help you needed?”

“Because I'm messing with you! I didn't think you'd actually go through with it!” I let go of her now that some clarity dances across her eyes.

She groans. “Ugh, if you don't have a friendship problem, then don't waste my time!”

“But why is it so important that you have a friendship problem? What's the rush?”

She grips the sides of her head and pulls some hair. “I need a friendship problem to solve! It's been over a week since I sent Celestia a friendship report, and she expects one every week! I could fail at friendship! Or worse, fail at being her student! And then she'll banish me from Equestria!”

Does everything have to involve banishment with her? “Twilight, calm down and listen to yourself. You're overreacting over nothing. Did Celestia specifically say she wants one every week?”

“No... But I've been sending one every week, so it's become what she expects! If I can't meet her expectations, how will I be able to handle the expectations of learning the magic of friendship?!”

I roll my eyes. “Twilight, I really don't think—”

“I have to find a friendship problem now!” She teleports before I can say anymore.

Honestly, I thought I could nip this in the bud before it became a problem. With a sigh, I leave the alley and start heading home.

---

I wasn't too late for the picnic, but late enough that only Pinkie, Twilight, and I were the only one's missing. Doubtful Twilight will show, however.

“Think fast!” I leap for a frisbee tossed by Rainbow, barely managing to catch it.

“Rainbow Dash, couldn't you have waited until he at least got situated?”

I shake my head. “Nah, it's all good, Rarity.” I take my backpack and set it on an unoccupied corner of a red and white checkerboard blanket. There's an assortment of sandwiches and drinks scattered on it. “Besides, it keeps my reflexes sharp.”

“That's the spirit!”

I smirk and toss the frisbee far towards Rainbow's left. As expected, she makes a diving leap towards where it's supposed to be, only for it to stop in midair moments before she would have made the catch. She hits the ground and looks at the Frisbee. “Hey, what gives?!” Her eyes dart to me.

I raise a hand up and wiggle my fingers, the frisbee bobbing along to my commands. I float it towards her and lightly tap it on the back of her head. “Think fast.” There's snickers and chuckles from everyone except Rainbow.

She jumps up and snatches it out of the air. “Not cool! You can't use magic to stop it!”

“I dunno, Rainbow. You were kinda asking for it.”

“Not helping, Applejack.” Rainbow points at me. “And you! You're gonna be working extra hard next time I see you at the gym.”

“Oh, I didn't know you had joined the gym, Blake.”

I nod my head. “Actually joined today, Shy.”

“And I took him on as a student. Just couldn't say no to being as fit as me.”

I catch Applejack rolling her eyes. “Pretty sure that wasn't the only reason he had.”

I smirk. “Well, seeing her in a tight fitting outfit was certainly a plus. Even took a few pictures when you weren't looking.” I snerk when I look at Rainbow, but fail to hold back the laughter. I do manage to pick out the quiet giggling of Fluttershy over Applejack's laughter.

“You ass!”

“Is what Blake was looking at! Hey yo, up top!” I high five Pinkie. I swear she plans the most opportune times to appear.

“Pinkie!”

“What?”

I hold my hands up. “Alright, alright, calm down. I'm just messing with you, Rainbow. No need to get defensive. Honestly, you girls just make it too easy at times. All I'm saying is you have a body I can respect, and your choice of clothing accentuates it. And no, that was not one of the reasons I had.”

“See, darling. A little bit of fashion never hurt anypony.”

Rainbow mumbles something under her breath, but takes a deep breath and slumps forward a little bit. “You're so gonna regret your next workout session.”

I smirk. “Totally worth it though.”

She huffs and crosses her arms. “Whatever. Are you gonna stand there, or are you gonna join us?” I spend a decent portion of time tossing the frisbee around with Rainbow and Applejack, working up a fairly decent sweat. We occasionally stop for a break to snack and drink before starting once again.

I leap for an errant throw from Applejack, the frisbee harmlessly sailing over my fingertips.

“That's another for me!”

I chuckle and walk towards the frisbee. Yeah, it turned into a contest between Rainbow and Applejack. Whatever, let em have their fun. “Yeah, yeah.” I place my foot under the frisbee and flip it into the air, catching it on the way up. I turn around and spare a glance at the blanket. “Anybody know where Twilight is? Thought she would be here by now.”

Rarity sits up from her sun chair and slips her sunglasses off. “She showed up here a while ago, darling.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And she didn't stay?”

“Nope. She spouted some nonsense about the Princess being upset with her over a late report before teleporting away. Bunch of hogwash if ya ask me. It's the Princess. Ah'm sure she wouldn't hold it against Twi for being a little late.”

I frown and toss the frisbee towards Rainbow. “Yeah, but this is Twilight. She takes everything seriously, if you couldn't tell.”

“I'm sure Twilight's got nothing to worry about.” Rainbow catches the frisbee and spins it on her finger. “She's probably on her way and laughing about it.”

I shake my head and go to open my mouth, but there's a rumbling that sounds akin to hooves thundering on the ground. As it gets closer and closer, I can make see Big Mac being chased by the herd and shouts of 'It's mine!' and 'I need it!'. I yelp and close my eyes, refusing to look anymore and fall under that damnable spell.

There's a popping sound. “Don't look at it!”

“Look at what?”

“My Smarty Pants doll!”

“Why, a doll is nothing to be ashamed of darling. Every filly—”

“It's not that! I cast the 'Want It, Need It' spell on it! Everypony who looks at it instantly—”

“I want it!”

“I NEED IT!”

“That! Nearly all of Ponyville is under it's spell now!”

“Consarn it, Twi! What in Equestria made you do that?!”

“I needed a friendship problem to solve! Nopony took me seriously when I asked for help, so I made my own! And look where that got me! The entire town fighting over a doll!” I hear a sigh. “Celestia is sending me back to magic kindergarten for sure.”

“Uh, are we just gonna ignore the massive brawl going on?”

“Give me that damn doll!”

I wince slightly. Yeah, that was Scootaloo's voice. Even with my eyes closed, I just know everybody's looking at me. “Peculiar choice of language from Scootaloo aside, just cast the counter spell, Twilight. Don't know why that wasn't your first response.”

“I don't know it!”

I pause. “You cast a spell, but didn't learn the counter spell for it... What the hell were you thinking?! Do you realize how dangerous that is?!”

“I wasn't in the right frame of mind, okay! This wouldn't be a problem if anypony had just decided to actually help me find a friendship problem!”

“Seriously?! Twilight, I will admit that I fucked with you purely for my amusement. Yes, it's wrong, but you should know me by now. But, I stopped messing around and was willing to help you if you had just stepped back and listened to what I had to say!”

“I, however, have heard enough.” I hate to admit it, but my body goes rigid at Celestia's voice.

“P-P-Princess Celestia...”

I feel something wash over me, the sheer intensity of it sending a shiver down my spine. The sounds of the brawl die down enough that I risk opening my eyes, seeing ponies shaking their heads and walking back into town. I slowly turn around to face Celestia. Thankfully, her gaze is not on me, but it still turns my blood cold.

Twilight steps right in front of Celestia and bows. “Princess, I'm so—”

Celestia raises a hand. “We shall discuss this further at the library.” She turns her back to us and starts walking back into town.

Twilight hangs her head and looks over her shoulder at us. “Goodbye, everypony.” She returns her gaze to the ground and follows Celestia.

I turn my gaze from watching Twilight to the girls. I'm not sure how long the silence lasts, but Rarity is the first to break it. “Does anypony else feel we didn't take Twilight seriously?”

“Maybe she was right 'bout Celestia wanting a report every week.”

“And now,” Pinkie sniffles, “She's in trouble because of us.”

I shrug my shoulders. “I tried to help her, but not when she's in 'Twilight' mode. Panic does nobody any good. But... I guess I could have tried harder.”

The silence that follows is tense, this time broken by Rainbow. “Well, this is our faults as much as it is Twilight's. We should've been there for her! If she's getting punished, we all should get punished! ...Right, everypony?” Her wide eyes tell me her short lived bravado died.

Pinkie steps forward. “If Twilight's going down, we go down with her!”

Everyone else shares a collective nod and runs off towards the library. I take a moment to grab my backpack and eye the picnic (There's a note sitting on the blanket. 'I'll handle this. Pinkie Pie') before running after the girls.

The sun has just started to set as they burst through the front door. “Princess, wait!”

“Please don't be hard on Twilight. We're as much to blame.”

“Twilight, we're sorry we didn't take ya seriously.”

“Yeah, we're super duper sorry about that.”

I step off to the side and shrug my shoulders. “I'll admit, I could have done more to help. But yes, I will apologize for not being serious enough.”

“Yeah! So whatever punishment Twilight's getting, we want it to!” Rainbow gulps. “Uh, it's not too harsh, is it?”

Celestia smiles. “Very well, in lieu of a punishment, I would like each of you to write a friendship report to me, if and only when, you learn something about friendship.” The girls don't hesitate to nod their heads.

“I may have to work on my penmanship, but that seems fair. Do you accept letters in crayon?”

Celestia chuckles. “Whatever you prefer, Miss Pie.”

Pinkie salutes. “You got it! One extra special report when there's something to report!”

I chuckle. “With how often things happen around here, I'll say you won't have to wait long.” I cross my arms. “I'm just happy I don't need to write any reports and everything worked out in the end. My penmanship is average at best, let alone with a quill.”

“Oh, we're you expecting to be excluded from sending friendship reports? I meant everypony, Blake.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You can't be serious? You do know what my argument is going to be, right?”

She nods her head, her smile never leaving. “Indeed I do. Believe it or not, everypony can still learn something about friendship.”

I chew the inside of my lips. Best to not pick a battle right now. I sigh. “Very well, Celestia.”

“Now, I do believe I need to get back to Canterlot, though I'm expecting a friendship report very soon.” She moves for the door, the girls stepping out of her way. She stops at the threshold. “And Twilight?”

“Yes?”

“You can thank your faithful assistant for informing me of your fears.” With that, she steps outside, the door being enveloped in her magic aura and shutting behind her.

I turn to see Twilight giving Spike a hug. “Oh Spike, what would I do without you?”

He chuckles. “Probably make Ponyville chase after a doll?” I snicker at that.

Twilight releases Spike and turns to the rest of us. “And thank you, all of you, for coming to face punishment with me.”

“We couldn't just leave you hanging like that, Twilight.”

“It wasn't exactly fair of us ta dismiss ya so easily.”

“Now, I must ask,” Rarity turns to me, “What made you think you were exempt from the punishment?”

Now all eyes are on me. “Celestia knows the answer to that, and I will not reveal the reasons. I will, however, say that it's because I tried to get Twilight to calm down and listen, and was not against helping her with her problem in the first place.”

“Then why did you... Uh...” Twilight leans down and covers Spike ears (Fins?). “Say you wanted my help with certain... Naughty issues.”

“Oh my.” I spare a glance at the rest of the girls. Fluttershy sports a blush that would rival Big Mac's coat.

I shrug my shoulders. “Like I said right after I stopped you, cause I wanted to mess with you. What I didn't say was because I'd hoped the shock value would have snapped you back to reality. What I didn't expect was for you to actually try and go through with it.”

“Oh my. Twilight, dear, did you really—”

“NOPE!”

I shake my head. “Nope. No way.”

“And why in Celestia's name was that your 'shock value', Blake? Haven't ya heard of slapping somepony, or splashing some water on them?”

I frown. “You should know me by now. When I do something, it's go big or go home. And furthermore, what do you think would have happened if somebody saw me slap Twilight, or anybody else for that matter?”

Applejack frowns. “Well... I... Uh... Okay, fine, maybe that isn't the best choice. But ya still could have done anything else!”

“Yeah, sure, cause a bucket of water in the middle of the street is so readily available too. What else ya got? Come on, somebody tell me what you would have done.”

“I dunno, maybe just help Twilight without some crazy plan to teach a lesson that ultimately ends with everypony being better?”

“Everypony, I think we just need to—”

I cross my arms. “No, no, Twilight. I asked, Pinkie responded. If that was so simple, then why didn't any of you do anything?” I close my eyes. Deep breaths... “You know what, fine. My plan wasn't the best, but at least I tried to do something. Ya happy?” Applejack opens her mouth, but I raise a hand. “I don't really care, I've had enough for today.”

“Dear, I really think we should deal with this—”

“No. You may all want to talk and hug out your problems, but me? Not my style. I need to just walk away and deal with it my own way. But you want to deal with the issue now? Fine. We all learned a lesson, Twilight isn't getting punished, and we all gotta write friendship reports now. The end, life moves on.”

Without a word, I teleport home to the kitchen. I swiftly head over to my liquor cabinet and pull out a bottle of Johnnie Walker, floating over a tumbler and pouring myself a generous amount. I also float over a couple of ice cubes and drop them in. I sit down at the table and sigh, just focusing on drinking and calming down. What right do they have to judge me? Sure, it wasn't my best plan, but I tried. And that's what counts, right? And Celestia ordering me to write friendship reports too.

I hear Sonja whimper and place her head in my lap. I grin and gently rub her head. “It's okay, girl. Just need to relax, nothing to worry about.” I sigh and take another swig of scotch.

I hear the front door open and shut. “Dad, I'm home. You in here?”

“Kitchen, Scoots.”

Scootaloo rounds the corner to the kitchen. “You would not believe the day I had.”

I chuckle. “You and me both. Wanna tell me about it?”

Scootaloo and I spend some time talking about her day, with me helpfully filling in the blanks in her story. The 'Want It, Need It' spell must have some mind altering component to it since Scootaloo couldn't tell me anything after Twilight showing up, other than wanting and seeing the doll, and everypony else fighting over it until the spell was broken. Eventually, Scootaloo heads off to her room while I make dinner. The rest of the night we spend doing our own things till we settle in for the night.

Comments

[Wickedkingken]

nice chapter

[Apple_Crack]

10739814
Yep, working on it.

[Theresa]

Yeah they didn't even bother to try to snap her out of it so to complain about his methods is really rude and considering he was trying to enlist them to get her to calm down when she did something stupid they don't have any right to complain.