//------------------------------//
// The Mysterious Mare Do Well or Superhuman Gambit 
// Story: Permanent Vacation 
// by Apple_Crack 
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“Permanent Vacation”



The Mysterious Mare Do Well or Superhuman Gambit


It’s a glorious day out, and I’m stuck inside doing maintenance on the house. I’d have Scootaloo helping me, but she somehow snuck out before I could catch her. She did leave a note for me though, saying she had to go prep her Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting or whatever and that she’d be home later after crusading. Who knew that Rainbow Dash had such a following of fans, or a fan club for that matter?

I shake my head and put my mind back onto the task at hand. I scrub the tub even harder, a stubborn calcium deposit refusing to submit to my strength and cleaning solution. Muttering a few swears under my breath, I apply more force until the deposit eventually gives in and washes away. Leaning back, I wipe the sweat from my forehead and sigh. One buildup of calcium down… I glance back into the tub… Countless more to go.

“You know, you wouldn’t have this problem if you cleaned it regularly.”

“Oh, like you have anything to clean up in there. Besides the cobwebs.”

“Oh, self-deprecating jokes, I love it!”

“I aim to please.”

“But really though, I’ve had to dig through so much garbage up here to actually make this place livable. And you’d not believe how disorganized it was! I spent months actually filing everything away! And don’t even get me started on the smell.”

“Well, you should have started cleaning it sooner. You wouldn’t have this problem then.”

“Hey, don’t go twisting words around, that’s my job. Why don’t you get back to cleaning your tub instead of bantering with me?”

“And why don’t you go back to doing whatever it is you’re doing.” With a sigh, I reach back into the tub and start scrubbing the next calcium deposit.





I fall back onto the couch and let out a sigh of relief. Finally, all the cleaning in the house is done. That’s not to say of the outside needing a little work, but that’s for a later date. I reach down and absentmindedly rub Sonja’s head while sinking deeper into the couch. God, I could just lie down and sleep right now.

There’s an incessant knocking at the door. Of fucking course there is, never a moment of peace for me is there. “Alright, alright, keep your shirt on!” I stand up and head for the door. Opening it, I smirk. “Bit impatient today, are we?”

Vinyl chuckles. “Considering it’s something important, yeah. Got somepony here that wants to ask you some questions.”

I just now notice the pale stallion standing a little off to the side and fiddling with a camera. His mane’s clean cut and short, and he’s wearing blue jeans and a rust colored shirt under a, in my opinion, putrid green vest. The vest has a couple of pockets on it, with most of them zipped up, save for one that has a notepad and pencil sticking out of it. “Well, come on in then.” I step aside and motion for them to come in. “We can do proper introductions once we’re indoors.”

Vinyl strides in, reaching down to run her hand along Sonja’s back, while the stallion glances up from his camera once to acknowledge me as he steps inside. Sonja’s latches onto his heels, sniffing his pants in a valiant effort to get his scent. I shut the door behind them and make a beeline for the kitchen. “You two want anything to drink?”

“Toss me a Mist, would ya?”

“Water’s fine.” His voice is a bit on the higher side, but not vastly different from anything I’ve heard in Equestria so far.

I levitate out a Moonlight Mist from the fridge while I grab a glass and coffee cup. Hey, if I’m going to be doing an interview, which is what I assume the stallion is here for, I’d rather be energized for it. I fill both the glass and cup with water, and with a snap of my fingers, the water in the cup heats up. I grab an instant coffee stick from the counter, tear it open, and dump it into the coffee cup. Not as good as the real thing, but it’ll do in a pinch. I walk back into the living room, floating over to Vinyl and the stallion their respective drink. I teleport in a chair from the kitchen and position it off to the side of the coffee table, since the stallion has taken a seat on the sofa.

“So,” I take a sip of the coffee, unable to suppress the grimace I make, “Care to introduce yourself, friend?”

The stallion clears his throat. “My name is Newsworthy, and I’m with the Canterlot Inquirer.”

Ah, so my suspicions of him being a reporter are confirmed. I look at Vinyl. “You know, you could have told me I was going to be interviewed today. I mean, look at me? Do I look interview ready? Don’t answer that.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “Hey, it was spur of the moment.”

“I actually come down to Ponyville today to get a story from one Miss Rainbow Dash about her recent exploits, but, and I’m being honest here, I don’t think that’s going to get more than a couple of paragraphs in the paper. When your manager pulled me aside and offered me the chance to interview you, well, I’d be an idiot to decline.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Back it up. Rainbow’s recent exploits? Just what has she been doing?”

Vinyl lowers her shades slightly and looks at me. “Haven’t you heard? Rainbow’s apparently been on a spree of saving ponies around town. Today alone, she’s saved a filly from a well, stopped a runaway baby carriage from going off a cliff, and prevented the collapse of a balcony at the retirement center.”

I glance at the clock. It’s only two in the afternoon now. Damn, she’s been busy. And just how fast does the news travel here? “Hey, I’ve been in the house all day cleaning. Haven’t really had time to go outside and catch up on what’s been going on.”

Newsworthy shakes his head. “In any case, I believe I’d get a much better story interviewing you over Miss Dash. If you don’t object, that is.” I shake my head. “Excellent, let’s get started.” He pulls the notepad and pencil out of his pocket, and starts scribbling on the notepad. “Blake Quinter, local hero of Ponyville and lead singer of the All-Equestrian Rejects. For those of us that don’t know, please tell me a bit about yourself.”

“The name’s Blake Quinter. I was born on a planet called Earth, which I’m not sure how far it is from Equestria, in the outskirts of a quiet little town. Eventually, I moved away from my parents to go out west, moving closer to a major city, where I resided and worked until ending up here.”

“So it’s safe to say you’re an alien? A creature from beyond the stars?”

“Eh, more or less, yes.” He motions to keep talking. “Anyway, I’m one of the chillest people you’ll ever meet. I love reading, gaming, music, and spending time with my friends. And comedy, can’t forget about that. Laughter makes the world go round and all that.” I chuckle.

“Now, you said you’re from another planet, this Earth. What was it like there?”

I internally sigh. “To be honest, nothing like Equestria. For starters, no magic whatsoever. Nobody from Earth had magic, and those claiming to were nothing more than sleight of hand artists, or characters in stories. ”

“So the reality of magic here must have been quite shocking for you.” I nod my head. “What else?”

“Well, I’d also be lying if I said anybody from Earth had Cutie Marks.”

Newsworthy blinks. “I’m sorry, no Cutie Marks at all? That just seems so… strange.”

I nod my head. “And the concept of Cutie Marks here is strange to me. But, I’m the stranger in the foreign land, not the other way around. Not my place to question how this world operates. But regardless, we don’t need a mark to tell us what to do. We just one day decide we wanna do something, and do it. And more often than not, we had to pay for the education to do said thing. Granted, not all jobs are like that, as I’m sure it’s the same case here.”

Newsworthy scribbles down some more, flipping to another page in his notepad. “Anything else?”

“Actually, a few more things. Let’s just say skin coloration isn’t as… Diverse as it is here. And the sun and moon? Well, nobody controlled those. They operated through complex scientific principles that people smarter than me figured out and understood.”

He eyes me for a moment, before shaking his head. “Now, despite its differences, I’m sure there’s a few things in Equestria that remind you of Earth.”

“I won’t deny that. Everywhere I look, I do see similar things. Be it the architecture, the cultures, the cities, the holidays. The list goes on.” I take a sip of the coffee.

“Could you give some examples?”

I nod my head. “There’s a city called Detrot here? On Earth, we got a city called Detroit. Nightmare Night is the equivalent to Halloween on Earth. Hearts and Hooves translates to Valentine’s Day. I could keep going, but like I said, the list goes on. But not everything is different. All the alcohol brand names are the same, you got the same names for the months and days of the week, same calendar years. That list is much shorter, I’m afraid.” I laugh. 

“Now, forgive me for asking, but why did you leave Earth behind?”

I shrug my shoulders. “It wasn’t my choice to. One day, I’m on Earth. The next, I wake up in the Everfree forest and nearly die to a manticore. I’ll tell you, nothing wakes you up more than being attacked by a manticore.” I laugh. “And before you ask, nobody I’ve talked to has ever heard of this happening before, and I’ve been assured that everything is being done to figure out a solution to get me home.”

“So, you’ve woken up on a new planet, with no idea what’s going on, are attacked by a manticore, stumble into Ponyville, and your first instinct is to start a band?” He smiles after saying this.

I laugh. “Actually, that wasn’t the original intention. After I’d settled down and started getting a feel for everything, I was approached by Spike, our drummer, about joining a band he was forming. At the time, we just were gonna be a couple of friends who got together every so often and made a little music. It wasn’t until Vinyl, our talented manager,” I wink at Vinyl, “approached us after a local talent show and offered us the chance to be something bigger that we decided to just say why not and do it. Not like we had anything to lose from it.”

“I’ll say. You’re first album, Eyes on Us, was huge success, and your second, On The Rocks, propelled you further. What do you attribute this success to?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Honestly, I couldn’t say. But if I had to guess, I’d say that it’s because people are curious.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Curious how?”

“Well, I’m an alien. Wouldn’t you want to hear what I say, what I do, what I consider music? To see the unknown phenomenon from beyond the stars? To hear what sound this strange being can produce?!”

He laughs. “Alright, that’s a fair point, and I’d daresay it’s not far from the truth.” He drinks some water and scribbles some more into his notepad. He mumbles some things to himself, before looking up from his notepad and back at me. “Now, I’ve heard a rumor that you’ve got a new album coming out. Are the rumors true?”

I nod my head. “They are indeed. We’ve been working as fast as we can to record all the songs, but with Mac working at his family’s farm most of the time, we’ve fallen a bit behind on recording. But in the meantime, Vinyl and I have been working on the promotional material, album name, tour dates. You know, everything behind the scenes that most aren’t concerned about.”

“And what can we expect from this album?”

I drink some more of the coffee, pondering how to answer this. “I’m a storyteller, I’ll admit that up front and freely. On The Rocks was my way of telling a story of those who walk the line, constantly teetering between balancing and falling off. Our next album will tell the story of those who fall from that line. In which direction,” I smirk, “I won’t say.”

“Oh, secretive. I like it.” He taps his pencil on the notepad. “Let’s get back to talking about you though. You been seen frequently in the company of Princess Luna during your appearances in Canterlot. Any comment on that?”

I laugh. “No comment.”

He chuckles as well. “The expected response to a question like that.” He leans forward. “And this is completely off the record, but it’s good to see Luna out and about, enjoying herself with the populace.”

I smile. “It is indeed. I’d wager I have found a kindred spirit in her, if I do say so myself.”

He shakes his head. “But I digress. Now, before you actually started a band, surely you must have had some idea or plan to acquire funds? After all, I’d hardly believe that whatever constitutes as money for you would translate to bits.”

“And you’re absolutely correct in your assumption. Whatever money I had is no good here. Celestia was gracious enough to provide me with money on a monthly basis to survive, but I didn’t want to mooch off of that forever, so I set out to find a job. Lo and behold, Vinyl was hiring for her record store. Speaking of,” I look at Vinyl, “I never did show back up for work after the events of Hearths Warming.”

Vinyl laughs. “I officially fired you ages ago, just never got around to telling you.”

“Yeah, figured that was the case.” I laugh. “Anyway, that’s all my job history for here in Equestria.”

Newsworthy raises an eyebrow. “And before Equestria?”

“Back on Earth, I was a simple fry cook. Not a glamourous job, but it paid the bills and kept food on the table. What I really wanted to do was actually put my college degree to use and work at some technology company, but alas, it never came to be. And I doubt it will now, but I’m happy with the life I’ve made so far.”

He nods his head, and scribbles down some more notes. I catch his eyes glancing at something, but I refrain from saying anything. “Mind if I ask about that?” He points at something on the wall.

I follow his finger and see what he’s pointing at. It’s a picture of Scootaloo and I back from her birthday. We’re beaming at the camera, Scootaloo proudly holding up her Wonderbolts flight suit. I smile and lean back in my chair. “Ah, that’s my daughter and I back from her birthday.”

“Your daughter?”

“Adopted daughter. Haven’t shacked up with anybody here.” I chuckle at that.

“Proud Wonderbolts fan, eh?” He laughs. “What’s her name?”

I turn back to face him. “I’m not answering that one just to keep her anonymity safe. She didn’t ask to be adopted by a musician and thrust into this life, and I intend to keep it that way. She deserves to have a normal life as a kid and not be pestered by our fans just because she’s related to me. The same goes for anyone who’s close to me.”

He nods his head. “Understandable. Didn’t mean to intrude.”

I shake my head. “Nothing to intrude about. You asked a legitimate question about something you saw.”

“Regardless, what’s she like? She’s obviously a fan of the Wonderbolts.”

I smirk. “Well, she’s a spitfire, that’s for sure.” We all laugh at that. As our laughter dies down, I continue, “But really, she’s a good kid. She’s very active and a bit headstrong, bit more on the street smarts side if you catch my drift, but I love her all the same. She’s easily one of the best things to happen to me in a long time. And I’ll never forget everything we’ve done since she came into my life.”

He smiles. “Pretty sure you aren’t alone in that boat. A lot of parents feel the same about any of their kids.” He jots down some more notes in his notepad. “Well, I believe I got enough here for a story. Well, enough that wasn’t already told elsewhere.” He drinks some more water. He then stands up and offers his hand out to me, which I happily shake. “Thanks for the interview.”

I smile. “Anytime. You know where to find me now, and you could always get in contact with Vinyl if you want another interview.”

“I’ll definitely take you up on the offer.” 

I lead Newsworthy and Vinyl to the front door. “Nice meeting you, Newsworthy. Vinyl, I’ll see you around.”

As I shut the door, I hear Newsworthy ask, “Would you mind if I asked you a few questions as well, Vinyl?”

I wonder what kind of questions he wants to ask her? Eh, it’s out of my hands now and not my problem. Speaking of problem… “You’ve been strangely quiet up there.”

“Yeah, because I’m actually getting work done! You know how nice it is to be able to do something without being interrupted constantly? Don’t answer that, I already know the answer.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave you to it then. Wouldn’t want to intrude on your highly important work.” I whistle to grab Sonja’s attention. “Want to head out, girl?” I shake my head. That’s a question I never need to ask. I slip on a pair of shoes and grab a jacket while Sonja waits at the door. After that terrible coffee, I need something better tasting… And maybe something a little sweet to go with it.





I step out of the way of a bunch of kids running down the street with all manner of what looks to be handmade Rainbow Dash merchandise. I spot a tuft of cerise hair in the crowd. “Scootaloo!”

She skids to a halt in front of me while the rest of the kids keep going. “What’s up, Dad?”

I casually eye the kids moving down the road. “Rainbow Dash Fan Club?”

“Yeah! We’ve gotten even bigger ever since Rainbow Dash has been saving ponies all day. Of course, why wouldn’t she?! She’s just so awesome!”

I have to chuckle. “Yes, I heard about her heroic deeds. Where’s your club going next?”

“Back to the clubhouse! We just got some awesome pictures with Rainbow at Sugarcube Corner!” She glances in the direction of the kids. “Sorry, Dad, but I gotta catch up! See you later!” With her wings buzzing, she speeds off towards the kids.

I wave to her retreating form while resuming my walk towards Sugarcube Corner. I casually push open the door to the jingling of the bell above it. “Blake! Here to listen to some of my awesome heroics today?”

I casually wave to the rest of the girls sitting in a booth off to the side, Sonja immediately sitting at Fluttershy’s hooves and receiving her loving affection, at Spike sitting in a chair with a notepad and quill, and Rainbow proudly standing in the middle of the room rubbing a hand on her chest. “Nope.” I walk past Rainbow to the counter. “Here for coffee and food. It’s just a huge coincidence that you’re here too.” Pinkie’s already sliding a cup of coffee across the counter while I peruse what’s available today.

“Whadda mean no?! Everypony wants to hear about me being a hero today!”

“Two regular donuts.” I toss enough bits on the counter to cover the cost before grabbing the cup and taking a long swig of the bitter, life giving nectar. “Yeah, well, I heard all I needed to hear from someone else about your heroics. You saved some lives, and I applaud you for that, but there’s nothing more to it that I need to hear.” Pinkie slides a plate with the baked goods on it towards me. With a whistle, I grab one of the donuts and hold it down low for Sonja to grab. She gingerly takes it out of my hand before returning to her spot beside Fluttershy. I grab the plate and slide over a chair beside the girls booth before sitting down and taking my first bite of the donut.

“See Rainbow? Even Blake doesn’t need to hear anymore. Yes, we’re all very proud of you for your heroics,” I can practically hear the air quotes there, “But there’s a thin line between being proud and shameless boasting.” I catch Applejack drumming her fingers on the table, Rarity’s eye roll, and Pinkie actually frowning. Yeah, I can tell the girls are thoroughly annoyed with Rainbow right now.

“Whatever. You guys are just jealous that I’m writing an autobiography about my amazing deeds. You get all that, Spike?”

“Amazing deeds. Got it!” He flashes her a thumbs up… er, claw up I guess?

I raise an eyebrow. “An autobiography is—”

Twilight groans. “Already brought that up, Blake. Spike’s ghost writing for her.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Whatever then.”

“All we’re saying, Rainbow dear, is that it might do wonders if you cut back on your… Enthusiasm, shall we say.”

“Why? Everypony loves me! Heh, that’s not hard to do cause of how awesome I am.”

I lick the crumbs from the donut off my fingers and take another drink of the coffee. “Then why are you standing here, hero? There could be others out there who need you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out anyway to do more awesome hero things. Let’s go, Spike. You got more stories about yours truly to write.” Rainbow bolts out the door, with Spike running after her. Yeah, little guy ain’t gonna be able to keep up with her. Frankly, I don’t think anybody can.

“Ah take it everypony else is annoyed with Rainbow acting the way she is?” There’s nods from the rest of the girls.

“I mean, I’m proud of Rainbow and all, but…”

I shrug my shoulders. “Eh, let her have her moment in the spotlight. It’ll die out and she’ll be back to normal eventually.”

“It still doesn’t excuse Rainbow for her behavior. She’s not even acknowledging how she’s acting, let alone what she’s saying.”

I sigh. “And while I do agree, Twilight, I’m going to counter your argument by pointing out that Rarity did the exact same damn thing at the Young Flyers Competition, and I didn’t hear anyone tell Rarity to curb her enthusiasm.”

“Blake does have a point there.” Great, even Pinkie sees the parallels I’m drawing.

“What— You— Waah?” Rarity takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out. “That’s all in the past, and I’ve since learned my lesson. We’re not here to reflect on past mistakes, but rather on Rainbow’s current behavior.” Try as you might, Rarity, I will not forget that one mistake.

I down the rest of the coffee and set the cup on the table. I hold my hands up. “Alright, alright. Focus on the now, I get that. I’m just saying.”

“Ah don’t know about the rest of ya’ll, but ah’m ready to teach Rainbow a lesson.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m not being a part of whatever your planning. Good luck and all that with whatever you’re doing.” I stand up and head for the door. “But if you want my honest feelings, let Rainbow burn herself out or fail miserably. Either way, she’ll eventually come back down to the ground and realize, hopefully, how she acted. If she doesn’t, you could always try to explain it to her then. You know the saying after all,” I look over my shoulder and smirk, “Pride before the fall.”





“Well, would you look at that.” I say aloud at the breakfast table.

Scootaloo swallows her cereal and leans forward with her wings buzzing. “Is it another article on Mare Do Well?!”

I slide the paper over to her. “See for yourself.” She snatches it from the table and flips right to the article on Mare Do Well saving the day once again, this time stopping the Ponyville Dam from breaking. It’s been about a week now since Mare Do Well showed up, and fourteen days since anyone last heard Rainbow do something heroic. Granted, there’s not much she can do, since Mare Do Well keeps showing her up at her own heroics.

Scootaloo slams the paper down, causing Sonja to jerk awake under the table. I rub her with my foot to calm her down. “Mare Do Well is just so awesome! I wanna know more about her!”

“Think you might break Rainbow’s heart if she heard you say that.”

“Well, there’s nopony more awesome than Rainbow Dash, duh. But when a real life superhero shows up? Who wouldn’t say she’s awesome?!” I glance once more at the photo a random bystander took of Mare Do Well flying over a cheering crowd after plugging up the dam. Well, I can certainly say I know of one pony, judging by one very distinctive scowling pegasus in the background. Scootaloo glances at the clock. “Oh shit, I’m gonna be late for the Mare Do Well Fan Club meeting!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Don’t you mean your Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting?”

She shakes her head while grabbing a backpack. “Nah, we pushed that meeting back. Right now it’s all Mare Do Well!”

I shake my head, but can’t help smiling. I grab the paper back and flip back to the page where I left off. “Have fun then.”

“I will. Oh, hey.” I glance away from the paper to her. “I’m gonna be home late. Want me to grab a pizza for dinner?”

“Hmm… Yeah, pizza sounds good. You got the cash to cover it?”

“Yeah, I got enough. The usual?” I flash a thumbs up. “Got it. See you tonight!”

“Don’t cause too much trouble.”

She laughs. “It’s not like I’m going crusading. How much trouble could I get into? Don’t answer that.” I have to smirk. Even she’s aware that the Crusaders usually get into trouble at the end of their crusades.

I hear the front door slam shut, leaving me alone to my own devices. I read through the Mare Do Well article some more before folding the paper up and floating it over to the trash can. Honestly, anyone with even half a brain cell should be questioning how Mare Do Well has wings and a horn, traits only possessed by alicorns. And according to common knowledge, there’s only three in existence at this point in time. Two, for those that have no clue who Cadence is. So the question should not be who is this mysterious Mare Do Well, but rather, when did we get another alicorn?

The front door slams back open, causing Sonja and I to both jump. “Blake! I gotta talk to you!”

I frown. “Nice of you to knock, Rainbow. Now go shut my front door, calmly walk back here, and take a seat. Till then, I ain’t talking.”

She huffs. “Fine.” She trudges out of my line of sight, mumbling something under her breath. I hear the front door shut before Rainbow walks back into the kitchen and sits across from me at the table. “Happy now?”

“Ecstatic. Now, what’s got you worked up?”

She slams the table with both hands, eliciting another frown from me. Seriously, what is with people banging on my property? “Everypony is forgetting that I’m a hero around here! Even Spike’s stopped writing my autobiography to go write about this Mare Do Well character who’s stealing my thunder!”

I lean back in my chair. “And that’s a bad thing how?”

“Are you serious right now?! I’m the hero around here, not her!”

I eye Rainbow. “First, calm down and listen to yourself.”

“I am calm!” I raise an eyebrow. “Okay, okay, jeez.” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, slowly letting it out. “There.”

“Excellent. Now, listen to me and listen well. You’ve been acting arrogant and cocky ever since you’ve did your heroic deeds, and we’re all happy for you, and you should be as well. But,” Rainbow opens her mouth, but I use some magic to hold it shut, “You’ve taken it too far. Everybody can only take so much of what you’ve been doing before they get upset.” I release my grip on her mouth.

“Too far? Everypony should be grateful that I’m here! Everypony should be praising me for what I did! I’m a hero for Celestia’s sake!”

“And people are grateful. But they don’t need to be reminded of it every waking moment of the day, seven days a week. Do you see me, the one who saved this entire town, saved my friends and family, from Diamond Dogs not once but twice, walking around town boasting that everyone should be grateful, you’re lucky I’m here, they should write a book about me, I’m insanely awesome, and so on? Well, did I?

She flinches. “No…” She shakes her head and leans forward. “But that’s you! I’m not like that.”

“Okay, let’s look at this a different way. You remember the Best Young Flier’s competition?”

She scoffs. “How could I not? I got to spend the day with the Wonderbolts because of it.”

“And you remember how Rarity was acting?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I remember. It was all, ‘Oh, my wings are so pretty, everypony look at me! I’m so fabulous! Nopony can match my beautiful wings! Look at me!’ It got so annoying that it actually psyched me out that I wasn’t good… Enough...” Her eyes widen. “Wow, was I really acting like that?” I nod my head. “Geez, I didn’t even realize I was doing it.”

“Everyone is grateful for what you did, Rainbow, and they won’t soon forget that. But you must learn to be humble in your deeds, and to not let arrogance drive you. You must have the humility to fail when others outshine you.”

She shakes her head. “Wow, I can’t believe I was acting like that. Is everypony upset with me?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I know five mares that probably feel very annoyed.”

She scratches the back of her head and looks up at the ceiling. “Heh, I guess I do owe them an apology.”

“That you do.”

“I guess I’ll let Mare Do Well be the hero right now. Thanks for slowing me down, Blake.”

“Anytime, though I do have one more thing to discuss with you.”

She tilts her head. “About what?”

“Mare Do Well.”

“What about her?”

I smirk and lean forward in my chair, resting my clasped hands on the table. “An observation I’ve made, which I’m genuinely surprised nobody else has made. Have you noticed that not only does this Mare Do Well have a horn, but wings as well?”

“Huh?” She scratches her head a bit before her eyes widen. “She’s an alicorn?!”

I laugh. “To those not in the know, yes. But further observation has lead me to the identity of her as well.”

“Wait, you’re saying you know who Mare Do Well is?” I nod my head, prompting Rainbow to slam her hands on the table. “Awesome, who is she?”

I raise an eyebrow. “You realize the purpose of a superhero costume is to mask their identity, prevent others from knowing it?”

She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s not like I’m gonna tell anypony else. Now, who is she?”

Somehow, I doubt that. With a sigh, I continue. “It’s not just one pony who dons the outfit, Rainbow.”

“You mean there’s two ponies in that outfit?!”

I shake my head. “Multiple outfits, multiple ponies. Who you’re seeing at the time changes.”

“Well, who are they then?!” By now, Rainbow’s stood up from her chair and is practically leaning across the table to get right in my face.

“Why Rainbow my dear, it’s four mares that you and I are close friends with. Some might even say they have a certain harmony to them.”

Her mouth opens and closes a few times before she slowly leans back and sits back down. “You mean it’s the girls?” I nod my head. Rainbow rubs the temples of her forehead. “That doesn’t make any sense though!”

“But it does. We’ll skip when she first appeared during the hot air balloon incident because I’m still not sure who it was at that time. The next time she showed up was when that cart went out of control and went for that cliff, correct?”

“Yeah. She basically stood in front of the cart and pushed against it till it stopped. I wasn’t sure she was gonna be able to stop in.”

I nod my head. “And I don’t know about you, but have you seen the muscles on Applejack? Girl looks like she could roundhouse kick a rock and break it in two, or stop a runaway cart with nothing but pure strength.” Part of me still says Twilight had a little helping hand in that one, or was the backup in case it actually did go off the cliff.

“Fine, that one could have been Applejack. But what about at the construction site? Nopony is that good to be able to dodge all that falling debris and rescue all the workers! It’s like she had another sense that…” She pauses before facepalming. “Dammit. That was Pinkie, wasn’t it?” I nod my head. “And Twilight fixed the dam, cause Rarity doesn’t have that kind of magical power, and Fluttershy did the flyover afterwards. Okay, yeah, that makes sense now. But still, why’d they do it?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Can’t say for certain, but this is probably their way of trying to get you to come down off your high horse and stop your bragging and boasting by outshining you in being heroic.”

“Okay, but why go through all this trouble when they could have, I don’t know, talked to me like you are right now?!”

“Again, I can’t say. I was certain at some point you’d come down from your high and listen to us, but I guess they weren’t patient enough and decided to take matters into their own hands.”

She sighs and hangs her head. “Jeez, all this just to try to get me to listen.” She chuckles and looks up, a smirk on her face. “You know, I’m actually kind of impressed they went through all this trouble. Guess I better go find them and apologize. Thanks again!” Before she can bolt out the door, I grab her tail with magic and hold her. “Hey, what gives?!”

I pull her back towards the chair. Getting the hint, she sits down of her own volition as I release my grip on her tail. “Yes, you can apologize to the girls. But first, I want your help to get back at them.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Get back at them? They did nothing wrong, as far as I can tell. They were only trying to help me understand how I was acting.”

“And helping friends out is all fine and dandy. What I want to get back at them for is how they went about trying to teach you the lesson I just told, without having to go about with this extravagant charade, and not even once considering my opinion, let alone informing me this is what they were doing. Not every problem in the world has to be solved with a long and complicated plan. Sometimes all it takes is just a few words.”

She nods her head. “Okay, I’m in. What’d you have in mind?

I smirk and lean forward. “They wanna play superhero? That’s fine. But every good superhero needs a supervillain.”

She smiles. “I’m liking were this is going.”

“Agent—”

“Say no more, I’m already on it.”





A crowd has been gathering around a stage that’s been set up to celebrate Mare Do Well while I’ve been stealthily surveying them from the rooftops. Nobody should be able to see me with my Cloak and Dagger active, but as an extra precaution, I’ve disguised myself as a random pegasi that I’m pretty sure lives in Canterlot and would have no business being in Ponyville. I glance up at the clouds above, catching sight of Rainbow positioned on a cloud. Everything’s going according to plan so far…

My eyes lock on Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy not at the very edge of the crowd, but close enough that any one of them could slink away and dress up as Mare Do Well should the need arise. Making sure no one is looking, I creep further back out of eyesight and decloak. I whistle, which grabs Rainbow’s attention. She leaps off her cloud and lands on the roof beside me. “You see them?”

“Yeah, everyone minus Applejack. Get into position near the stage. I’m gonna start our little diversion.”

“Gotcha! This is gonna be so awesome!” She returns to her cloud and moves it closer to the right side of the stage if one were facing it.

I, on the other hand, cloak again and drop down from my position on the roofs to land in a nearby alley. I reach into a pouch on my costume and fish out some smoke bombs I ‘borrowed’ from Trixie. I move out of the alley and back onto the street, slowly making my way towards the crowd. The mayor has just started her speech by the time I get close enough to execute our diversion. 

Using a little fire spell, I light the fuses on the smoke bombs and toss them into the crowd and onto the stage randomly. As the smoke bombs start going off and dispersing their payload, I drop both my disguise and cloak and make a dash through the crowd towards the right side of the stage. The smoke is incredibly thick and dense that it’d be hard to see more than a couple feet around you. Unless, that is, if you didn’t plan ahead and come equipped with thermal goggles. As we planned, Rainbow is already on the ground and climbing onto the stage.

I leap onto the stage after her. She lies with her back down as I come up and gingerly wrap my left hand around her neck while handing her the Cloak and Dagger with my right. “Ready?” I whisper.

She puts the watch on her left wrist, and then reaches up with both her hands and grabs my arm. “We’re doing this, ain’t we? Too late to back out now.”

With a nod, I reach up with my right hand and turn the thermal goggles off with a tap to my mask and turn on the voice modulation embedded into the costume with two taps to my throat. I raise my right hand up in the air, claws extending from the fingertips. As the smoke starts dispersing, I lean in close to Rainbow’s face. “Who is she?” Oh, I’m loving that deep, gravelly voice. Nice touch by Agent.

“You doubted my abilities? You wound me.”

Rainbow, for her part, starts kicking her legs. “Let go of me!”

“I said.” I lift Rainbow’s head up just enough so that I can slam it back down. Not hard enough to hurt her, but enough for her head to jerk. “Who is she?”

“What is the meaning of this?”

I glance towards the mayor. “Stay out of this. This is between Mare Do Well and I.” I look out towards the crowd. Most have backed away from the stage. I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror since putting on the costume, but it more than likely is intimidating looking. Dark purple cape, dark purple suit, red eyes, prosthetic horn built into the mask to give the appearance of a unicorn, and the glowing claws on the gloves. Yep, I’d say I’m intimidating enough.   

I look back at Rainbow. “One last time. Who is Mare Do Well?!”

“How should I know?! Nopony knows who she is!”

“Then where is she?!”

There’s the sound of something hitting the ground off to my right. I look up and see ‘Mare Do Well’ standing on the other side of the stage, her cape fluttering in the breeze. I stand up, lifting Rainbow up along with me. Granted, I’m using magic to actually hold her up, but for appearances sake, it looks like I’m lifting her up by her neck alone. “Mare Do Well, so kind of you to show up. My boss would like to have a nice long chat with you about the… Current state of their business operations and your role in them.” She points to Rainbow, then to the crowd. “Let her go? Why would I let your sidekick go?”

“I ain’t nopony’s sidekick!”

I shake Rainbow. “Don’t lie to me, mare. Everywhere Mare Do Well is, you’re right there with her and failing miserably at being a ‘hero’, just like the bungling sidekick you are. It’s a wonder Mare Do Well hasn’t ditched you yet, or worse. She ever tell you what happened to her last sidekick?”

Mare Do Well raises her fists and spreads her legs, putting her left foot forward. “I’d be careful, if I were you. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to your precious sidekick.” For emphasis, I drag a claw across Rainbow’s cheek, eliciting a hiss through her teeth as a thin line of blood oozes out. “You know, this all could have been avoided if you had just let those ponies… Meet their fate, shall we say. Instead, you had to be the hero and save them, and my boss is very displeased about that. However, my boss has found two new ponies they’d like to collect on, and I got one of them right here.” I cup Rainbows chin and turn her to face Mare Do Well. “However, I might be able to negotiate the release of your sidekick. If you give yourself up that is.” Nope, she’s not moving.

“You see that, Mare? Even Mare Do Well doesn’t care about you. Very well then. You’ve made your choice, Mare Do Well. I’ll be sure to tell my boss you’ll be swinging by shortly.” I reach into a pouch and grab a few of the more potent smoke bombs (Which means thicker fog and longer lasting, according to the box I took them from), lighting the fuses. “Till next time, Mare Do Well. I look forward to our confrontation.” I spin in a circle, throwing out the smoke bombs in such a way that I have maximum coverage. Once the smoke is thick, I let Rainbow go as she activates the Cloak and Dagger while flying off, while I disguise myself as a pegasus again and teleport back to the alley I was in before.

Working quickly, I strip off my costume and drop it in a cardboard box I left in the alley before throwing the box into a dumpster. I drop my disguise and draw the Diamondback, and then run out of the alley back towards the stage as panic sets in about the disappearance of Rainbow and the masked stranger.

“Who was that?!”

“Where’d they go?”

“He took Rainbow Dash!”

I start shoving my way through the crowd towards the stage. “Move aside, move aside!” I climb up onto the stage. “What happened?!”

Twilight comes up to the edge of the stage. “Blake! Somepony just ponynapped Rainbow!”

“Who?”

“It was a really mean looking unicorn with a claw! A claw!” Pinkie says.

“And why would they take Rainbow?”

“He said something about her being Mare Do Well’s sidekick and that his boss wanted her and Mare Do Well since they’ve been saving lives around here!”

I slowly turn my head to glare at Mare Do Well. “What I’m hearing is that this is all your fault.” I stalk across the stage towards her. “An Element of Harmony, one of my friends, was taken because you had to be a hero. You couldn’t just keep your damn nose out of things here. You just couldn’t let Rainbow Dash continue being a hero.” I get right up into her face and poke her chest. “Your sidekick or not, you better help find her. And I swear on everything I hold dear that if something happens to her, I will relentlessly hunt you down and make you experience pain the likes of which you’ve never felt before, to the point that you will wish for me to end it.”

I hear a gulp. “Blake, darling, you can’t blame Mare Do Well for this.”

I glare at Rarity. “Bullshit I can’t. Because she,” I point at Mare Do Well, “had to come to Ponyville for whatever reason, and stick around! She not only brought a supervillain with, but also caused an Element of Harmony to be kidnapped!” I look out towards the crowd. “And will somebody get Trixie and Derpy here, now!”





After organizing a search party and getting the Princesses involved, we each broke off into our separate tasks and began our search. Well, except for Mare Do Well, who “mysteriously” vanished shortly after. It was determined that Luna and I would scour the Everfree Forest in search of Rainbow, it being the likely place for a villain’s hideout.

“And they don’t suspect a thing?” I had to bring Luna in on our plan for everything to go accordingly.

“If they do, they’re certainly hiding it well.” I keep one hand on the Diamondback as a precaution.

“But isn’t this a tad… Extravagant as well? You said it yourself, they didn’t need to go through all this trouble if they would have just talked to Rainbow Dash, but you’re doing the exact same thing with this elaborate ruse.”

I shake my head. “Eh, an eye for an eye, two wrongs don’t make a right, whatever turn of phrase you prefer to use. The point is, this is teaching a lesson to all involved. Plus, who says I can’t have a little fun?” I smirk up at Luna.

She chuckles. “As long as you’re aware of what you’re doing, and the potential repercussions of such actions.”  

It isn’t long before we reach the rope bridge before the Castle of the Two Sisters. Luna and I cross the bridge and walk into the castle proper. “I imagine this place used to look amazing back in the day.”

She sighs and walks further into the room, running her hand along a tapestry that very nearly touches the floor. “It was truly a sight to behold. Tis a shame it has fallen into such disrepair.” She picks up a tattered banner on the floor and rubs it between her fingers.

I walk up behind her and pat her shoulder. “Hey, I kinda like it the way it is though. It signifies a time that doesn’t reflect the now, much like you and I.”

She smiles. “Still though, I wish there was somepony other than my sister who can remember the spendor these halls used to have and the stories they contained.”

I raise an eyebrow, but refrain from saying anything. “But just imagine what it could be if this place was also renovated slightly. A few touches here and there, a couple secret rooms, and bam, you got yourself a nice secret hideout for guards that may or may not be officially listed on any known documents.”

She laughs. “Are you implying something?”

I smirk and walk away with my hands in my pockets. “No, of course not, Luna. I’d never imply anything to you.”

“Geez, could you two be any louder?” Rainbow lands on the ground in front of us. She tosses me the Cloak and Dagger, which I slip back onto my wrist.

“Rainbow Dash, a pleasure.”

Rainbow holds out her fist, which Luna bumps with her fist. “Right back at ya, Luna.” Glad to see they’re getting along.

“Let me apologize first for the whole…” I motion towards where I cut Rainbow’s cheek.

“Pftt, don’t worry about that. Had to make it believable right? Besides, that’s nothing compared to some of the cuts I’ve had before.”

Luna coughs. “Blake has already informed me of thy plan so far, but the details still elude me on how we intend to ‘rescue’ Rainbow.”

“Yeah, you never did tell me the rest of the plan. What, didn’t think we’d make it this far?”

I shake my head. “No, I fully intended to get this far. Just need to make this somewhat believable now...”

“Well, we gotta think of something! I do kinda have a life I wanna get back to.”

“Relax, Rainbow Dash. We will surely think of something. Blake?” I look up from my internal musings at Luna. “What was your original plan?”

I cross my arms and glance up at the ceiling. “Well, I was just gonna walk back to town with Rainbow, make up some story about how she escaped from her captors and that I found her wandering the Everfree. All without Mare Do Well’s help.”

“But… Cause there’s always a but.”

“True, Rainbow. After seeing how… Enamored the town is with Mare Do Well, we need to somehow weave her into actually saving Rainbow without actually resorting to fighting which of the Elements is wearing the costume. I’m not against a fight, but the less chance I have to hurt anybody else, the better.”

Luna taps her hoof against the floor. “Hmm… Tis possible we could stage a fight, similar to what the guards of old would do for entertainment purposes. We would have to let whoever into the plan as well.”

I shake my head. “That’s an option, but who’s to say it’d be just Mare Do Well? By now, Celestia’s probably called in guards, and who’s to say I wouldn’t be ‘fighting’ her?” I shudder.

“I’ve heard the sun is wonderful this time of year. The moon is a close second.”

Rainbow hisses through her teeth. “Yeah, didn’t think about that. Uh, no offense, Blake, but my bits are on Celestia in that outcome.”

“Worry not about my sister. I can handle her if needed.”

I rub my chin. “Hmm… It does have some merit…” I shake my head. “But we’ll keep that as plan C. Any other ideas?”

“Couldn’t we just, I don’t know, lure Mare Do Well away from Ponyville?”

I pause. “Possible, but we’d need an eyewitness to tell the story of your ‘rescue’, and if you hadn’t noticed, Mare Do Well is silent. You’d have to be the one to make a believable story.”

“I guess I could come up with something then…”

“Just pretend you’re telling one of your heroic stories again and you’ll do fine.”

Rainbow nods her head. “Yeah, yeah, I can do that! One story that’ll wow everypony, coming right up!”

“That’s the spirit! Luna,” I turn to look at her, “I need you to return to Ponyville and inform Mare Do Well that we’ve found the kidnappers hideout in the castle here. Make sure to stress that Mare Do Well comes alone, and only her. If anybody asks where I am, say I’m keeping an eye on the hideout till Mare Do Well arrives.”

Luna raises an eyebrow. “Us finding the hideout and you staying behind? Any smart pony would get suspicious that you are in fact the ponynapper.”

I sigh and rub my temple. “Who knew staging a kidnapping and rescue would be so hard? Fine then, we both go back to Ponyville, but I need to come back to subdue whoever is under the mask and explain the situation. Rainbow, go back into hiding.”

“Right. See you guys in a bit.” She runs down a hallway, her hoof falls echoing throughout the chamber.

“Brace thyself, Blake.” I only have time to blink before we’re back in Ponyville, outside of the town hall.

I nod my head at Luna, and then push open the doors. “We’ve found the kidnappers hideout!” Derpy, Mare Do Well, Celestia, Pinkie, and Twilight look up from a table covered in a map of Equestria. Around the room, a couple dozen or so guards are polishing weapons or standing guard. They spare the briefest of glances my way before resuming their activities.

“Where is it then?” Twilight asks.

“The Castle of the Two Sisters. Found a clump of Rainbow’s hair outside it.”

“Great! So, we gonna go teach these guys a lesson?” Derpy asks.

I nod my head. “Yes, they’re going to be taught a lesson.” I stare at Mare Do Well. “But it’ll just be Mare Do Well and I going.”

“What? Have you seen this pony?!” Pinkie grabs my shirt and pulls me close. “He has a claw! A claw!” She violently shakes me.

I gently unclench her hands from my shirt. “So I’ve heard. Still, nothing will stop me from going after him. And besides, I got the ‘famous’ Mare Do Well with me, who’s obviously tangled with this villain before.

“But Mare Do Well and you can’t stop him!”

Hmm… A chance to call them out on their lie right now. I raise an eyebrow. “And why is that, Twilight? Surely Mare Do Well can handle a villain of this caliber.”

“Blake, I must insist that you allow the guards to go in place of you and Mare Do Well.” Dammit Celestia, why you gotta step in at the most inopportune moment?

“And do what, Celestia? March up to the front gate, knock, and politely ask to be let in? Why not announce your arrival with fanfare while you’re at it?” I shake my head. “Sending a massive group of guards, or you and Luna for that matter, is basically announcing your arrival to everyone in the vicinity. Do that, and you’re gonna make these kidnappers either do something to Rainbow, or go even further into hiding that we may altogether lose our chance at saving Rainbow.”

“Sister, it’d be in our best interest to listen to Blake. We do not want to risk the lives of our subjects, let alone one as important as an Element Bearer. Let us not be hasty in our decision making.”

“Blake, could I talk to you for a second?” I don’t have time to respond before Derpy pulls me a good distance away from everyone else. She leans in close to me and whispers. “Listen, I know you wanna go it alone, but Trixie and I could shadow you from a distance, provide help if things don’t go as expected. We’re a team, and we need to act like one.”

I smirk. “Relax, Derpy. There won’t be any trouble whatsoever. Rainbow will be perfectly safe.”

She stares at me for a time before both of her eyes focus solely on me. That’s… Kinda off putting. “You know something, don’t you?”

“Yes.” I blink. Why the hell did I just say that?

“Why the hell did you just say that? Thought you were keeping this a secret, save for a select few?!”

“I don’t know why! It sorta just came out!”

“What is it?”

I sigh and lean in closer. “Listen, what I’m about to tell you must get back to no one. Don’t tell the Elements, don’t tell Celestia, hell, don’t even tell Trixie.”

Her eyes unfocus and go back to normal. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She goes through the motions with each statement.

I lean in closer, so that I’m basically breathing on her ear. “I’m the one who took Rainbow.”

She eyes me for a bit. “I know you, you wouldn’t do it without a good reason.”

“She’s safe and well aware of what I planned to do, let me assure you on that. As for the why, it’s mostly to teach a lesson to the Elements about talking out problems instead of going through these convoluted schemes.”

She raises an eyebrow and crosses her arms. “All this to teach a lesson that you’re basically doing too?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Heh, kinda the same thing Luna said too. But that’s beside the point. Listen, just play along for the sake of it, please?”

She taps her hoof on the floor a few times before smiling. “Yeah, I guess I can do that. You always do have a plan. Besides,” She uncrosses her arms and looks over my shoulder, “It’s about time the Elements put up the cape and move on.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You knew?”

She chuckles. “Yeah, I knew. Kinda obvious once you think about it. Figured you’d already figured out their identity anyway.”

I smile at her. “For such a smart pony, you hide it incredibly well.”

“Not that hard really, what with my condition.” She points to her eyes for emphasis and laughs, which I do as well.

“If you two are done over there, Trixie’s heard you’ve found the hideout?”

I glance over my shoulder. Huh, must have missed Trixie and Fluttershy return. Weird combo for a search party, I know, but having Fluttershy with someone… Combat capable just made sense to me. “Hey, Trixie, Fluttershy.” I walk back over to the table. “Yeah, Luna and I believe the hideout is at the Castle of the Two Sisters.” I cross my arms and look at Celestia and Luna. “I’m planning on taking just Mare Do Well and I into the castle to retrieve Rainbow, but I’m being blocked here.”

Celestia shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Blake, but we cannot allow just you and Mare Do Well to handle this alone.”

I glance at Luna, who just shrugs her shoulders. “Celestia, please. Mare Do Well and I are more than capable of handling this.”

“Blake, it’s just too dangerous for you and Mare Do Well.”

I scoff. “Come on, Twilight. Too dangerous? She’s a superhero, and I’ve faced an entire army of Diamond Dogs. Pretty sure we can handle this.”

“You might be able to, but she can’t.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And why is that, Twilight? Pretty sure you can’t get the hero title without putting yourself in dangerous situations.”

Fluttershy grabs my hand. “Blake, please. Just let the guards handle this.”

“No.” I pull my hand out of Fluttershy’s grasp. “This ‘hero’ strolled into town and brought a supervillain with her. Rainbow was kidnapped because of her. And now, instead of fixing her own mess, she’s content to sit behind and let others clean up after her. And if she thinks she’s getting away with that, you’re mistaken!”

“Applejack is Mare Do Well!” All eyes turn to Pinkie, who’s hugging herself and rocking back and forth.

Mare Do Well pulls off her mask. “Pinkie, you were supposed ta keep that a secret!”

“Trixie did not see that one coming.” I look at her and mouth seriously. She just shrugs her shoulders.

“I’m sorry, but Rainbow Dash is still in danger while we stand here arguing! Every second we waste is another second Dashie could be in pain!”

“Ya don’t think ah know that!”

I slowly clap my hands, all eyes being drawn to me. “Well, congratulations for revealing the truth finally. Seriously, good show, great plan.”

“Wait, you knew?”

I roll my eyes. “Of course I knew, Twilight. You’d have to be blind to not see the truth. No offense to anyone who didn’t figure that out.”

Trixie crosses her arms. “Trixie takes some offense to that.”

“Then why didn’t you say something sooner?” Fluttershy asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “Why bother? You didn’t listen to me in the first place anyway. If it didn’t stop you then, it wasn’t gonna stop you now. And because of that, this is all your fault.”

“Our fault?! If Rainbow would’ve just listened—”

I glare at Applejack. “And if you would’ve listened to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess of Rainbow being kidnapped by a supervillain!”

“But you heard Rainbow, Blake! You saw how she was acting, how she wasn’t listening to any of us!”

“And what was so bad about that, huh?! Sure, it was annoying and frankly quite rude, but it wasn’t like she was hurting anyone by running her mouth off! She would have stopped eventually once she ran out of ‘heroic’ things to do! Then you could have easily talked to her, made her see the error of her ways! But no, you had to go with the ‘Hey, let’s pretend to be a superhero’ plan!”

“Ahem.” We all look at Celestia. “While I hate to cut this… Lesson short, we have more pressing concerns right now, namely the rescue of Rainbow Dash.”

I sigh and shake my head. “Forgive me, everyone. I’m worried about Rainbow Dash, and the stress of it is getting to me.”

Pinkie squeezes me tight and surprisingly lifts me off the ground. “Oh, that’s okay! We’re not mad at you. We’re all worried about Rainbow Dash in our own way. But we’ll save her because we’re the heroes that always triumph—”

“Air…” I wheeze out.

Pinkie lets me go. “Whoopsie! Sorry, Blake!”

“Blake, now you see why we cannot allow just you and Applejack to go after this villain. We cannot endanger either one of you.” ...Then why did I sign up to protect the Elements if Celestia is gonna forbid me from doing my job?

“But sister, Blake still made a valid point. We cannot march up to this scoundrels lair with the force of the guard behind us. We’d only endanger Rainbow Dash more.”

I nod my head. “Which is precisely why we need a smaller team that includes Mare Do Well. Ponyville has become enamored with Mare Do Well, and the hope that comes with her. We cannot take that away, nor will I.”

“Then let us go! That’s what we’re here for, right?”

Derpy pats Trixie’s shoulder. “I wish we could, Trixie, but we can’t. If whoever took Rainbow gets wind that somepony other than Mare Do Well is trying to rescue Rainbow, they might just go into hiding even further, or do something worse.” Heh, glad to see she’s still going along with the plan.

Trixie bits her lip. “Trixie doesn’t like feeling useless in this situation.”

I smile. “Actually, I think us three and Mare Do Well would be perfect for this situation.”

“You do?” Derpy raises an eyebrow.

I nod my head. “I do indeed. Mare Do Well goes in first, and then we come barging in to provide support.

“Ya’ll expect me to fight a supervillain?”

I chuckle. “Not in the slightest, Applejack. Just need you to draw him out. We’ll handle the rest from there.”

Twilight bites her lip. “I still don’t think it’s the best idea. There’s just so much that could go wrong.”

I cross my arms. “Well, anyone have a better idea?”

Twilight’s eyes go wide and she snaps her fingers. “I got it! Blake, why don’t you dress up as Mare Do Well and take Applejack’s place!”

Luna rubs her chin. “It would indeed be a clever ruse. We would no longer be endangering another Element of Harmony, and satisfy Mare Do Well being present to face the ponynapper.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Uh, not sure if you noticed, but I don’t exactly have what one would call a feminine build.”

Pinkie giggles. “Silly! Twilight put a special enchantment on each of our costumes! There’s no way I’d be able to hide these bad boys!” She sticks out her chest and points to it.

“Pinkie!” Twilight sighs. “What Pinkie means is that each outfit has an enchantment on it to give each of us the appearance of having the same body type, without actually altering our bodies. It was an extra precaution in case somepony tried to figure out Mare Do Well’s identity.” I look at Applejack and look up and down the length of her body.

“Actually… Yeah, Twilight’s right. How come you never checked out her body before?!”

“And why would I? That’s… Kinda wrong to be looking at my friends like that.”

“Then explain the magazine with Fluttershy’s photo shoot you brought way back when, that you still haven’t looked at!”

“It was spur of the moment! A touch of weakness gripped me, and demanded I buy it!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.”

“And why the hell are you looking at them like that?”

“Hey, gotta keep myself entertained somehow, since you aren’t giving me anything to work with.”

“Ya done gawking?”

I shoot a glare at a giggling Trixie, Luna, and Fluttershy of all people before shaking my head. “Sorry. Just trying to figure out how I missed that detail. Regardless,” I look back at Twilight, “Pretty sure the costume needs measured so that I can fit into it…” I notice Twilight smiling, “And Rarity already created one using my measurements that she somehow got in the off chance I decided to help you out.”

She nods her head. “Be right back!” With a pop, she teleports.

“Blake, I believe the matter of a plan is settled then.”

I sigh and look at Celestia. “I’ll take Applejack’s place and bring Rainbow back. Trust me, Celestia, nothing will happen to her on my watch.”

Celestia nods her head before turning to Trixie and Derpy. “Miss Lulamoon, Miss Hooves, I’d like for you to accompany Blake on this mission. My sister and I will see to the protection of the remaining Elements.”

They both bow. “As you wish, Princess.” Trixie says.

There’s another pop as Twilight reappears, a folded bodysuit, mask, cape, and hat in her outstretched hands. I grab everything from her and head deeper into the building to a closet nestled off to the side so I can change in relative peace. Well, guess I should put on the mask first. The mask is one of those that fully cover the head, with two pony ears poking out from the top. I reach into the mask and feel around for a hole for the ears. Huh, can’t find one. Guess Rarity really thought this one through. Nevertheless, I pull the mask down over my head.

Next up, the bodysuit. I hold it up in front of me. Yeah, looks like it’ll fit just fine, though I am kinda curious how Rarity managed to get my measurements.  After some looking, I manage to find the zipper cleverly nestled behind a fold in the fabric. After suiting up, I make sure the mask is tucked underneath the suit and clasp the cape around my neck. I look down, curious to see if this enchantment works… Uh, okay, didn’t expect it to work that fast. I gingerly reach down and poke my chest. I can see the fabric move, even though my finger isn’t even touching my actual body yet. I twist and turn, marveling at how well this enchantment works. Wonder whose body type Twilight used as the template.

I shake my head. Delve into the science of the magic later, focus on keeping this ruse up. I levitate the final piece to complete the outfit, the hat, from the floor to my head. After a quick adjustment to make sure it’s snug, I leave the closet and head back to everybody else. It would seem in the time I was gone, Applejack has removed her costume. She’s the first one to notice me, letting out a slow whistle. “Mighty fine outfit there, Mare Do Well.” Everybody looks at me.

I just roll my eyes, not that they can see it through the mask. “I’m glad you can make jokes, Applejack.” I grab my throat. I felt my mouth move, the sentence forming in my head, yet I heard nothing.

I don’t even notice Fluttershy by my side. “It’s okay. We forgot to tell you there’s also an enchantment on the mask to mute our voices.”

“Fluttershy’s right. It’s just an extra precaution we took.” That would have been helpful to know in the first place! I throw my hands up and walk away.

“Trixie’s ready to show off her stupendous combat skills against such a devious individual!” I nod my head at Trixie and jerk towards the door.

Celestia steps forward and rest a hand on my shoulder. “Bring her back safely.” I nod my head and head for the door, Trixie and Derpy falling into step beside me.

“Teach that scoundrel what for!”

“Good luck!”

“Please bring Rainbow Dash back safely.”

“We’ll be cheering you on from here the entire time.”

I push open the double doors and break into a full on sprint towards the Everfree, nearly bowling over Rarity and Spike in the process. Without breaking stride, I sidestep them. “Woah, Mare Do Well!”

Sadly can’t acknowledge you, Spike. “Can’t talk right now, going to rescue Rainbow!” I’ll have to thank Trixie later for covering for my lack of being able to reply. As I run through town, ponies cheer at the sight of me. I barely acknowledge them, trying to keep up appearances of a determined hero on a mission. As I reach the edge of the Everfree, I stop to catch my breath and let Trixie and Derpy catch up.

As they near, I turn with a flourish of my cape and stride into the forest, Trixie and Derpy falling into step beside me. After a while, I yank the hat and mask off. “Finally. I’m glad to be able to talk again.”

“Uh, I thought you were supposed to stay disguised the whole time? You know, to prevent this villain from running away or hurting Rainbow?”

I glance over my left shoulder at Derpy with a knowing smirk. “You wanna tell her, or should I? Figure we can let her in on this now.”

“Tell me what?”

Derpy nods her head and laughs. “Blake faked the whole thing.”

“…You did what now?”

I glance over my other shoulder. “Faked the whole supervillain and kidnapping thing.”

“Okay… Why?”

A rustling from a bush causes us to draw our weapons (Or in my case, prep a fire spell) and take aim. After a moment, a squirrel scampers out and climbs up a tree. Probably scared him out of his wits. “Sorry about that little one!” I shake my hands to dispel any lingering flames. “Where were we? Ah yes, the reason. I’m teaching the Elements a lesson about just talking to your friends about an issue you’re having with them, rather than spend who knows how long coming up with a convoluted scheme.”

“Trixie fails to see how any of this is teaching a lesson.”

“Well, they wanted to play superhero, that’s fine. But where there’s a superhero, a supervillain is not far behind.”

“So you ponynapped Rainbow Dash because she was everywhere Mare Do Well was, which would lead an outside observer to think Rainbow might be a sidekick or associate of Mare Do Well. And since Mare Do Well is actually the Elements, which Trixie is still surprised about, ponynapping Rainbow would make them feel guilty because they inadvertently brought about this supervillain.”

I nod my head. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

“That’s actually kinda devious and underhanded. I approve!”

I raise an eyebrow. “You’re not gonna question why I went through this trouble to teach a lesson, or why I even came up with this idea in the first place?”

“Yeah, Trixie. Even I kinda questioned the logic.”

“Pfft, an eye for an eye and all that. Trixie can understand that, and appreciate it to an extent. Trixie has had her fair share of revenge schemes anyway. But as much as I would love to tell you about them, I'd rather ask you where you got your costume.”

I snicker. “I have my sources, and they would like to keep their anonymity.”

“Where’d you get the idea for your costume design anyway? It looks similar to Mare Do Well’s in color scheme.”

I spin around so that I’m facing them while still walking backwards. “Actually, from a comic book character, Derpy. The fact that it’s similar in color is just an eerie coincidence.”

“And what’s your supervillain name?” Trixie asks.

I just stare at her. “Didn’t come up with one.”

She rolls her eyes. “Typical amateur. A true performer would have come up with a name that would strike an image into the audience’s eyes and captivate their hearts, instantly drawing them in, wishing to know more about such a wondrous sight!” She pauses with her hand pointing to the sky before dropping it and shrugging her shoulders. “It’s what has made Trixie a household name.”

“And putting Great and Powerful before your name was the best you could come up with?” I can’t hold back my snicker.

Trixie glares at Derpy. “Trixie was eight at the time and Trixie is happy with it!” She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “Anyway, Trixie is just stating a fact. Ponies are more likely to remember a flashy name. Besides, if left alone, the masses will give you a name they’d rather prefer. But don’t listen to me. This is just an entire life’s work speaking here.”

I raise an eyebrow. “You act like I intend to keep wearing the costume after this is all said and done. I have no intention of using this ever again.”

She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m merely stating the obvious. Can’t blame me for that.”

I cross my arms and roll my eyes. “Is that some sort of payback for my comment about not figuring out the identity of Mare Do Well sooner, because—”

“Woah!” Derpy grabs me and pulls me towards her. “Wouldn’t want to have to scrape you off the ground.” I glance over my shoulder at the crevice before the Castle of the Two Sisters. Huh, that’s what I get for not paying attention. I nod my head in thanks to her.

“Let’s go! Trixie doesn’t have all day here!” She’s already crossing the bridge to the castle. I look at Derpy, who just shrugs her shoulders and starts across the bridge herself, with me right behind her. Trixie must have decided to wait for us instead of barging in through the front door, if her standing beside the door is any indication.

With a shove, I open the doors and stride in. “Rainbow Dash, we’re back!”

Trixie taps my shoulder. “You didn’t plan out where in this castle to meet?”

“Uh, no? Pretty sure wherever Rainbow is, she can hear us.” I hear hoofsteps coming from a hallway. “See? Told you she’d hear us.”

“Finally! You know how boring it is sitting around doing… Nothing…” Rainbow stops and eyes me. “Okay, pretty sure your body doesn’t look like that.”

I smirk. “Implying you’ve been checking me out?”

“What?!” She crosses her arms. “Why in Equestria would I do that? I’ve seen stallion’s with way better bodies than yours anyway.”

“I don’t know, he’s got a pretty nice body.” All eyes slowly turn to Trixie. “What? Trixie is merely stating her opinion!”

I raise an eyebrow. “Okay…” I look back at Rainbow. “Regardless, did you come up with a story to tell?”

“Yeah, I got an awesome story to tell.”

I jerk my head towards the door. “Tell us it along the way, and we’ll bring you up to speed on everything else.”





To be honest, I turn out most of Rainbow’s story. It’s a pretty common story. Hero shows up, villain makes demand, hero refuses, epic fight, villain is defeated and gets away, everybody goes home. And when she was finished, we brought Rainbow up to speed on everything else that’s happened.

“Did everypony figure out who Mare Do Well is, or am I just an idiot?!”

“Again, Trixie takes offense to that!”

“Relax you two. Unless you were specifically looking for the signs, you would have overlooked them.” Rainbow mumbles something under her breath, but I don’t quite catch it. “Regardless, it’s over and done with. We just need to get back to Ponyville and then Mare Do Well can fade into legend.”

“You might want to put your mask back on, Mysterious Mare Do Well, unless you don’t want your secret identity a secret anymore.”

I smirk and lightly punch Derpy on her arm. “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting there.” I put the mask back on and place the hat atop my head.

“I know you guys said that anypony wearing that thing can’t speak, but does it actually work?”

I roll my eyes. “How’d I be able to tell you if you can’t even hear me?” Not that anybody heard that, of course.

“Is Trixie’s word not good enough for you, Rainbow Dash?”

“Yeah, it’s good enough. But it’s like the Sonic Rainboom, ya know? You don’t really believe it until you’ve seen it at least once.”

“…I suppose you have a point.”

I snap my fingers and point forward. The canopy is starting to thin, allowing more sunlight to shine through. We must be nearing the edge of the Everfree. “Aw yeah, we’re almost out of here! Can’t wait to tell everypony my awesome story!” Rainbow zips through the air towards the treeline. 

Dammit, can’t she be even the slightest bit patient? I break off into a sprint after her. As I breach the treeline, I see Rainbow already making significant progress towards Ponyville. I race after her as fast as I can.

As I enter town, the royal guards are already withdrawing from their posts, news already spreading about the safe return of Rainbow. Like before, I don’t acknowledge anybody on my way to town hall. By the time I get there, Pinkie has tackled Rainbow to the ground in what looks to be a rib crushing hug. “Pinkie… Air…”

I hear panting from behind me. I glance over my shoulder at Trixie. She’s bracing herself on her knees and panting heavily, sweat glistening across the exposed parts of her body. “Trixie… Is not cut out for this.”

“We really gotta work on your cardio, Trixie.” I’m kinda enjoying this ability to say whatever I want and have nobody hear me.

Derpy walks over and pats her on the back. “Might wanna swing by the gym sometime. I know a great trainer that’ll get you running circles around everypony else.”

Trixie nods her head. “Trixie… Will consider your offer.”

“Ahem, Miss Mare Do Well?” I look at the Mayor. “On behalf of Ponyville, we’d like to thank you for the swift rescue of Rainbow Dash.”

“And what about Trixie? I helped!” By now, a small crowd has gathered, the news of Rainbow’s return spreading.

“Of course, we can’t forget about the help she had either. Ponyville gladly thanks all involved in this endeavor.” 

“As would my sister and I.” Luna and Celestia walk up beside her, and just for appearances, I bow before them. “I take it this villain has been dealt with properly?” And just what is proper justice in your eyes, Celestia? Turn to stone, banished to the moon, or worse? Regardless, I nod my head, earning a small smile from Celestia.

“Hey, I wanna have a word with you!” The crowd falls silent as Rainbow basically stomps away from the girls towards me.

“Rainbow Dash…”

“Not now, Twilight.” Rainbow gets right in front of me, staring into my eyes. She points to the cut on her face. “You see this? This is all because of you. If you hadn’t shown up in the first place, none of this ever would have happened.” She sighs. “But it’s also because of you that I’m safe. Things could have gotten a lot worse if you—”

“And Trixie and Derpy!”

“I was getting to that!” She rolls her eyes. “If you all hadn’t shown up when you did, things could have been a lot worse. So, I’ll say thanks to all of you. But!” Rainbow pokes my stomach. “Don’t think for a second that I won’t be keeping a close eye on you! This is still my town, and I’m the hero around here!” Behind her, I watch the girls just shake their heads.

I reach over and gingerly pat Rainbow’s shoulder while nodding my head. I believe my work here is done. With a tip of my hat, I teleport up to a nearby rooftop. I give one last bow to the crowd below before leaping off the roof out of sight. I cloak upon hitting the ground and sneak back into the town hall to the closet where I initially changed. After stripping off the costume, I overturn a box filled to the brim with papers and stash the costume in there before teleporting the box back to my house.

With a sigh, I leave the closet and head back outside. Rainbow is the first one to notice me. “Oh sure, now you show up! Where were you like an hour ago?!”

I roll my eyes. She’s really playing up her acting. “Nice to see you’re safe, Rainbow.”

She crosses her arms. “Yeah, well, if it wasn’t for Mare Do Well--”

“And Trixie! Why does everypony forget Trixie?!”

Rainbow rolls her eyes. “Fine. If it wasn't for Mare Do Well and them, I wouldn’t be here.”

I nod my head. “Yes, yes. The wondrous Mare Do Well saved you from a dastardly villain. I’m sure it makes for a riveting story.”

She smiles at that. “You bet it does! There I was, tied up and alone in a cage…” And there goes her story. Yeah, I kinda tune her out. I will admit though, she does enrapture the crowd, especially the kids.

“Blake, would you be so kind as to inform either Luna or I if you discover anything about this villain?”

I nod my head. “If I do, you’d be the first to know.” Around us, guards are packing up their equipment. Guess Celestia and Luna see no need to stick around.

“Oh, and if you do see Mare Do Well again,” She smiles, “Please give her our thanks once again.”

I smirk. “Doubtful I’ll see her again, but if I do, I’ll be sure to say something.”

As Celestia walks away with her entourage of guards, Luna leans down to my level. “Should we tell her?” She whispers.

I glance towards Celestia. “I think she already knows, but sure, tell her once you get back to Canterlot.” Luna smiles and follows her sister, her own entourage of guards close by.

I shake my head and turn my attention back to Rainbow. “So, I don’t remember it being this long the first time.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, Trixie, I doubted she’d stick to the script.” I shrug my shoulders. “But hey, as long as she’s making the town happy.”

Derpy walks over my way. “So, you gonna… You know?”

I nod my head. “In due time.”

She nods her head. “Anyway, I should get back to work. That mail won’t deliver itself!” I wave to Derpy as she flies off.

I turn towards Trixie. “And what about you? Don’t you have a school to run?”

She rolls her eyes and groans. “Don’t remind me. Classes got suspended because of all this, but I still got so much paperwork to fill out, let alone organize.”

I smile. “Sounds to me like you need an assistant, similar to how Twilight has Spike.”

“Yeah…” Her eyes widen, and I watch a smirk slowly form on her face. “Think he’d be willing—”

I shake my head. “Yeah, nothing you say or do is gonna pry him away from Twilight. You may get his help once in a blue moon, but he’ll be focusing on helping Twilight first and foremost, and likely Rarity in his spare time.”

She laughs. “You underestimate the Great and Powerful Trixie’s way with words!”

I smile. “Then by all means, go ahead and try. I’d be impressed if you actually manage to willingly drag him away from Twilight.” We stare at each other before we burst out laughing.

Our laughter dies down, but she still sighs. “I guess I should hire an assistant though.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Could also just hire a vice principal to help shoulder the workload.”

She rolls her eyes. “And leave the hands of my magnificent school in the hands of somepony else? Trixie does not trust anypony other than herself to run it to my standards.”

I reach over and grab her shoulder. “Then it’s up to you to find someone to trust and who you know will run the school like you, much like how I have you for our… Ahem, second jobs.” She eyes me a bit. Over her shoulder, I catch Applejack marching towards me. That scowl on her face probably doesn’t bode well for me… Trixie goes to open her mouth, but I clamp my hand over it and shake my head. “Later.” I jerk my head towards Applejack and pull my hand away.

“Trixie, could ah have a word with Blake? Alone?”

I glance at Trixie. What the hell’s this about now? “Fine. Trixie has more important things to handle at her school anyway.” She nods to me before teleporting away.

“Something the matter, Applejack?” She jerks her head towards town hall and starts heading towards it. I raise an eyebrow, but follow her anyway. Just what is it that’s got her in a mood now? She leads me inside to a room that I can basically summarize as a conference room. I raise my eyebrow at the rest of the girls waiting inside, minus Rainbow. “Okay, you guys are starting to freak me out here. What’s going on?”

“Well, um, we’ve been talking about everything that’s happened, and we’d just like to ask you a few questions if that’s okay with you?” I nod my head. “Um… How should I put this?”

“I think what we’d like to know first is your side of the story.”

I cross my arms and lean against the wall, much more preferable than sitting right now. “About what, Rarity? All you gotta do is listen to Rainbow to hear it.”

“You and ah both know that story she’s spouting out there is horseapples.”

“What we’re trying to say is that Rainbow seems to be embellishing more than a few details, and we want to hear what actually happened.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And what makes you say that?”

“No offense, dear, but we’re fairly certain you didn’t perform a… Pinkie, what was it again?”

“A triple bicycle kick into a quadruple backflip into a wall that you launched off of into an inverted cyclone kick with a—”

“Yes, all that.”

I chuckle. “Is that all? I was hoping she’d keep it a bit more realistic, but whatever.” I shake my head. “Honestly, let her tell the story however she wants. It’s better than every gruesome detail I’d describe. Or would you prefer I correct her and describe everything?”

They eye each other for a moment. “Fair enough. Now, what about this ponynapper? Who was it? Why did they want Mare Do Well and Rainbow?”

“Does it matter at this point, Twilight? They’re dead, and likely will be forgotten in a couple of years. Honestly, I don’t see why you don’t just retire Mare Do Well and walk away, prevent this from ever happening again.”

Applejack shakes her head. “Not a chance. Not until Rainbow learns her lesson.”

I shake my head. “Seriously? Would you all just stop and listen to yourselves? You’re willing to not only put yourselves in danger, but everyone around you too?”

There’s a knock on the door before it opens. “Hey, I was told you guys were in here and…” Rainbow pauses. “Am I interrupting something?”

I nod my head. “Yeah, but you actually got good timing. Was just about to let them in on our little secret before it gets too out of hand.”

She chuckles and rubs the back of her head, stepping fully into the room and shutting the door behind her. “Yeah, was wondering when you were gonna say something.”

“You know they wanna keep doing this whole Mare Do Well bit after what just happened?”

“Blake! That was supposed to be a secret!” Pinkie hisses out.

I roll my eyes. “Relax, will you? I already told her who Mare Do Well was a while back.”

“And I gotta say, AJ, you got some impressive arm and leg strength to have been able to stop that cart.”

Applejack smirks and tips her hat. “Well, years of apple bucking will…” Her eyes widen before her face hardens into a scowl, “Hey, don’t change the subject!”

“Um… Why’d you tell Rainbow Dash?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Why? Just look at the lengths you’re going to just to prove a point to Rainbow!”

“We wouldn’t have to do this if Rainbow would have just listened to us in the first place!”

“Really, Twilight? In the span of… I’d say a half hour, I talked with Rainbow here, brought her down from cloud nine, and got her to listen to someone other than herself. Probably didn’t take as long as this little scheme you hatched up.”

“Yeah! Why didn’t you all just, I dunno, talk with me?”

“We tried that, Rainbow, but still you refused to listen.”

“You obviously didn’t try hard enough! I listened to Blake after he pulled me aside and forced me to listen! All it took was for him to compare how you guys felt to how Rarity acted back at the Best Young Fliers contest for me to get it!” She sighs. “Listen, I’m truly sorry to everypony, really. I get it now how my bragging got annoying, and to be somewhat humble about my accomplishments, but I mean come on!”

The girls glance at each other. Applejack sighs. “Ah guess we should apologize for not talking to ya in the first place. Would’ve made things a heck’va lot easier.” The rest of the girls nod their heads in agreement

Pinkie giggles. “But it was fun to play superhero, even though we kinda already are.”

Rainbow smiles. “Thanks everypony. Next time, don’t put yourselves in danger just to prove a point to me.”

Fluttershy shudders in her seat. “That ponynapper was just frightening though.”

“And who knew such a devious scoundrel lurked near Ponyville?”

“How’d he know about Mare Do Well though?” I shrug my shoulders at Twilight’s question.

“Sure hope ya gave ‘em a good beating, Blake.”

“Pfft, how would Blake be able to beat himself up, Applejack?” There’s a collective pause as all eyes focus on Rainbow. She flinches. “Oh, uh… You didn’t tell them?”

Now all eyes shift to me. “Tell us what, Blake.” Yeesh, I can practically read the demand from Twilight.

“That I’m the ‘supervillain’,” I raise my hands up and make air quotes, “That willingly took Rainbow Dash.” Again, there’s a pause before with a sigh, Rarity stands up.

“Actually, Rarity, would you mind if I take this?”

“Not at all, Twilight.” Rarity sits back down as Twilight stands up instead. She walks over to me, raises her hand, and lightly brushes my cheek. Rainbow snickers, but can’t contain herself and bursts out laughing anyway.

“Uh, Twilight? Pretty sure that’s supposed to actually hurt?”

“Well, I don’t wanna hurt him, Pinkie!”

I shake my head. “Twilight, a slap is supposed to hurt, sting like hell, maybe even leave a red mark or handprint. You know, a little magic might help…Wait, why am I even giving you pointers on how to slap me?!”

Rarity walks over. “Watch and learn, dear.” With speed and pinpoint accuracy, she slaps me across the face with enough force that I’m positive the sound it made echoed throughout the building. “What in Equestria were you thinking with this little stunt?! Not only did you scare Celestia knows how many of us, but you actually hurt Rainbow in the process! Now Twilight, notice how my hand made full contact with the cheek?”

“Geez, Rarity. It’s just a little scratch. No need to get so worked up over it.”

I rub my cheek while the stinging subsides, which is plenty of time for Rarity to give Twilight more pointers. “I could say the same about all of you, but regardless, it was my way of teaching you all a lesson about this convoluted plan and the dangers of playing superhero.”

“Um, not to be rude, but didn’t you say we should talk out our problems a little bit ago?”

“Yes, and I would have been more than happy to try and talk you out of this before it even got this far. But nobody even consulted me in the first place, let alone told me this is what you were doing. The way I see it, you didn’t want my opinion then, you wouldn’t want my opinion now. It’s like you forgot I even existed, let alone cared what my thoughts and feelings on the matter were.”

Everyone is silent for a bit. “Okay, yeah, that wasn’t very considerate of us,” Pinkie says.

Applejack pulls her hat down over her eyes. “Sorry bout that.” Everybody else voices their apology to me. I’ll accept it, but they’ve got a lot to learn about including me in the loop.

“But then why go through with your whole plan of ponynapping Rainbow?”

I cross my arms and lean against the wall. “Twenty five percent was helping Rainbow get a slight bit of revenge, twenty five percent was keeping the hope Ponyville had in Mare Do Well alive and to cement her even more as a hero, and fifty percent was for personal reasons.”

“Personal reasons? What, ya wanted to know how being a ponynapper felt?” I shake my head. “Then what?”

“Like I said, personal reasons. I won’t divulge anymore than that.” I catch Twilight staring at me, but she ultimately remains quiet. “Regardless of how everything played out, what have we learned here today?”

“Be proud of your accomplishments, but not brag like I did.” 

Fluttershy raises her hand. I roll my eyes and smirk, motioning for her to answer. “We should talk out our problems with each other?” I nod my head.

“Oh, ohhh! We should be considerate of everypony else and try to include them in everything we possibly can! Unless of course it’s a secret that you can’t tell anypony unless they know about the secret but then it wouldn’t be much of a secret anymore—”

“Pinkie, we get it.”

“Ahem. Blake, is there anything you’d like to share?” All eyes turn towards me.

I raise an eyebrow. “What?” At their continued silence, I throw my hands up. “Fine, whatever. Two wrongs don’t make a right or something. There, happy?!”

Rarity smiles. “Very much so, darling.”

“You know, Blake, I gotta ask. Where’d you actually get your supervillain outfit from? Obviously Rarity didn’t make it,” Rainbow says.

“Rainbow Dash, are you implying my dressmaking skills are insufficient to create such an ensemble?”

Applejack rolls her eyes. “She ain’t implying anything like that, Rarity. She’s just saying you’d have known what Blake’s plan was if’n he got you ta create it.”

Rarity blushes and looks away. “Ah, yes, of course.” She coughs into her hand. “In any case, I’m curious as to who designed your costume as well.”

I smirk and shake my head. “Trade secret, I’m afraid.”

“Well, could you at least let me see it? It might give me some new inspiration.”

I nod my head. “I don’t see why not.”

“So… Where’d you leave it? Obviously you wouldn’t have it on you.”

“Right you are, Twilight. I left it… Shit, in a box in a dumpster that anybody could find!”

“You mean a box like this?” Pinkie pulls out from under the table a box and sets it on the table. I walk over and open it. Sure enough, it contains my still crumpled outfit.

I raise an eyebrow. “Two questions. Why would you just pick up a random box in a dumpster of all places, and why would you not open it?”

“I was gonna open it later.” She leans in close to my face. “And do you know how much fun can be had with a box?! Gummy and I were gonna play space explorers with it, and then maybe act out a spaghetti western with it!” She gasps. “We could play space explorers in a spaghetti western!”

I place one finger on her temple and gently push her away. “Right…” I shake my head and pull out the outfit, laying it out on the table for everyone. “Here you are.”

Rarity leans in close and lifts up the right arm, running a hand down it. “Fascinating. You can barely see the stitch work, but it’s still remarkably well done.”

“At least someone appreciates my fine work.”

I let Rarity examine it for a bit longer before packing it back into the box. “Alright, time to dispose of this properly. I’ll see you girls around.” I wave goodbye as I leave the room. Once outside, I teleport home and stash the box under my bed. No reason I can’t keep it around, on the off chance I ever need it again. But honestly, what are the odds of that? But regardless, I honestly do think the girls learned a valuable lesson today. I just hope they learned the one I wanted them to learn.