Bridle Gossip or Read A Book!
“Permanent Vacation”
Bridle Gossip or Read A Book!
Nothing really exciting, at least on my end, happened over the past two days. I visited Rarity so that she could get my measurements and to tell her I wanted a simple, black suit with a fedora (Because fedoras are cool), I went out and bought a few groceries, visited Twilight for a few books on Equestrian history, and played video games during that scheduled rainstorm. All in all, a peaceful two days. Why couldn’t it be like this every day?
Oh, did I mention that a dragon also took up residence in the mountains? Yeah, that happened as well. Naturally, the girls asked me to tag along but I refused, saying that someone needed to stay behind to maintain order in town, which they all agreed was a solid plan. As the girls went towards the mountain, I went home and maintained order in the towns of Skyrim, protecting them from dragon attacks. Hey, I never said which town I was maintaining.
I awoke to birds chirping and sunlight streaming in through my window. I had just finished breakfast when I heard a knock at my door. Opening it up, I saw Twilight with Spike on her shoulder. They are both smiling.
“Good morning, Blake!” They both say in perfect unison.
Matching their attitude, I reply, “Good morning, Twilight! Good morning, Spike! What brings you two around here?”
“Well, since it’s such a beautiful day, Spike and I are going for a walk through the town. Would you care to join us?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Sure. I was going to go browse the furniture store in town for a new sofa anyway.” Twilight starts walking towards the market and I fall in step beside her after shutting the door behind me.
“It really is a beautiful day, Twilight! I wonder if everypony else if outside enjoying it!” Spike said as he leaned to the left to watch the birds flying through the air around us.
I had to agree with Spike. It really is a beautiful day, what with the orange and gold leaves falling from the trees. As we near Sugercube Corner, I notice an apparent lack of ponies anywhere. It feels like I’m walking through a ghost town. “Hey, do either of you notice the distinct lack of ponies anywhere?”
Twilight stops in her tracks. “Now that you mention it, where is everypony? They should be outside on this wonderful day.”
Spike’s eyes go wide and he grabs those fins on the side of his head. “You don’t think it’s because of zomponies, do you?!”
Twilight just rolls her eyes so I answer for her. “I find it hard to believe that zombies are the case here, judging by the lack of undead and dead bodies in the streets. Oh, and the fact that zombies aren’t real.” I don’t believe in zombies but just in case they do turn out to be real, I’m heading to the frozen north. Zombies don’t have any body heat so they’ll freeze into walking corpse-sickles. Best plan ever, right?
“Psst! Twilight! Spike! Blake!” I spin around, searching for the source of the whisper. Twilight and Spike are doing to same thing. “Over here!” We all turn towards Sugercube Corner to see Pinkie motioning for us to come inside. Twilight runs inside and I follow her, slamming the door shut behind me.
“Pinkie, what in Celestia’s name are you doing hiding alone in the dark?”
“Oh, I’m not alone.” I manage to find the curtains after Pinkie says this. Drawing them open, I turn around to see the rest of the girls along with a little olive colored filly with red hair, wearing a green tee shirt, blue jeans, and a pink bow, standing next to Applejack.
I point towards Apple Bloom. “Who’s the kid?”
Apple Bloom steps forward, only reaching to my waist in height. “Howdy, mister! My name’s Apple Bloom!”
“And mine is Blake. I take it that you’re part of the Apple family?”
“That’s right! Ah help Applejack an’ Big Mac with the chores around the farm!”
“Apple Bloom! Hush now! We don’t need,” Applejack gulps, “Her finding us.” The rest of the girls, save for Twilight, all agree.
“Who are you hiding from?” I ask.
“Her!” Rainbow yells and points out the window. Twilight and I stand right in front of the window while the rest of the girls stand off to the side, peeking out at the hooded figure in the distance. The figure looks directly at Sugercube Corner with piercing yellow eyes, causing everybody except for Twilight and I to back away from the window.
“Did ya see her? Did ya see Zecora?” Apple Bloom asks.
Oh right, today is when Zecora comes to town. Sighing, I step off to the side and lean against the wall by the door as Twilight tries to get the girls to see reason. I pretty much tuned out that entire conversation except for when Twilight argued that if anypony was brave enough to ask Zecora what she was doing, then maybe they wouldn’t have to worry about her being evil.
Apple Bloom is standing in front of the door, looking up at me. I really should tell her to stay but a lesson has to be taught to the girls today. Plus, I can’t let a child go into the Everfree on her own, right?
“I wouldn’t recommend that.”
“Shut up, inner voice. I can’t in good conscience let something happen to this filly.”
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, dumbass.”
I motion to the door with my head and mouth let’s go to her. She smiles and nods back. I carefully open the door and allow Apple Bloom to step outside first before following her. Quietly shutting the door behind me, I turn around to see Apple Bloom already running towards a wagon left by the side of the road.
Quickly catching up to her, we duck behind the wagon. I lean out and see that Zecora is already leaving town. I tell Apple Bloom this and she nods, darting out from behind cover towards some crates left by a storefront. I follow her. We keep jumping from cover to cover until we run out and are forced to be in the open.
Zecora is fair distance ahead of us by now and has already entered the forest. Apple Bloom stops at the edge of the forest and gulps. She looks down and starts lazily drawing shapes on the ground with her hoof. I kneel down beside her and place my hand on her back. She looks to me and smiles, which I return.
Patting my back, I tell her, “Climb on.”
She practically dives onto my back, wrapping her hands around my neck. Shifting her up slightly so she has a better grip, I stand back up and head into the forest.
It isn’t long before we catch up to Zecora, who is expertly avoiding the blue flowers growing along the path. I am not going to step into Poison Joke today and neither will Apple Bloom. As I’m stepping over a tiny patch, I hear yelling behind me. Zecora turns around and so do I.
“Apple Bloom! Blake! Are ya’ll alright?!” Applejack yells as she and the rest of the girls charge into the Poison Joke patches.
“We’re fine, Applejack, see?”
“Beware, beware you pony folk! Those leaves in blue are not a joke!” As Zecora says this, fogs starts rolling in, which she starts backing into.
“Great! Now she cursed us!” Rainbow stomps her hoof on the ground, kicking up a few Poison Joke plants.
“Rainbow, there’s no—”
“You keep that mumbo jumbo to yerself, ya hear?! Applejack yells at the departing form of Zecora.
Before I can react, Applejack yanks Apple Bloom off my backs. Since Apple Bloom still had her hands wrapped around my neck, I am yanked as well. I lose my balance and land on my ass... Right in the middle of a Poison Joke patch. Just fucking wonderful.
“I told you so!”
“Why didn’t ya stop Apple Bloom from coming out here?!” Applejack is glaring at me with Apple Bloom mouthing sorry from atop Applejack’s shoulder. The rest of the girls are standing off to the side.
I stand up and brush myself off before glaring at Applejack. “I don’t have to answer to you.”
Applejack stomps a hoof. “Ya do when it involves mah sister!”
“She’s safe and that’s all that matters. If any of you need me, I’ll be at my place.” I stomp off down the trail before they can respond. I really need to blow off some steam right now before doing something I’ll regret. Maybe a few rounds against the bots in Team Fortress 2 would calm me down.
I awake with a groan. That was the worst sleep I ever had. It felt like I was sleeping on pins and needles all night, tossing and turning in an effort to get comfortable. It probably didn’t help that I stayed up late last night killing the members of RED and BLU.
Ah well, never mind about that now. Time to see what effect the poison joke had on me. I climb out of bed with a groan. God, it feels like someone took a bat to my spine. Maybe I have something to ease the pain. As I walk across the room, I try cracking my back a few times but get no results. Reaching the door, I open it and brush some hair out of my eyes before stepping into the hallway. Man, it’s getting long. Might have to see somebody about that…
Wait. Since when was my hair yellow? Or orange for that matter? And is that red? Oh God, it better not have done what I think it did. I rush into the bathroom and stare into the mirror. Staring back at me is not myself, but a blue skinned face with rainbow hair. I look like Rainbow Dash. I’m not sure how long I stand there in shock, staring at my reflection, before I realize that I should check what changed.
I open my mouth to check my teeth. Welp, goodbye to eating meat for today. I study my face. Everything looks like Rainbow Dash, right down to the magenta colored eyes. Hell, my ears are even equine, twitching at the sound of birds chirping outside. Everything about my faces seems to have taken a more feminine look to it. Oh God, how far did the changes go?
Fearing the worst, I look down. I feel my eye twitch. No, I refuse to accept these lumps on my chest! I substitute this reality for my own! Think rationally here. I’m only seeing this because I’m dreaming! Yeah, that’s it. This is just a dream. I pinch myself on the arm. Nope, still seeing these… things. Try harder! A few pinches later, I sigh in defeat. This isn’t going away so this is not a dream. Welp, let’s see what else has changed. Please don’t let it be anything else.
Closing my eyes, I grab my pants and drop them. Keeping my eyes closed, I wave my hand where my member should be, but feel nothing. Oh, you have got to be shitting me! I open my eyes and glance down.
Great, not only do I look like the symbol for gay pride, which I probably could have dealt with, but I just lost my ability to call myself a male! Why couldn’t I have still looked like a male? Granted, I know people alter their gender all the time and I have nothing against them but I’m not one to go out and get one myself! How could this get any worse?!
Wait. That pressure I felt moments ago on my tailbone is gone. To anyone watching me, I’m sure they would have seen smoke pouring out of my head as the gears clicked into place. Tailbone… I slowly move my hand behind me until I feel it, hair where there shouldn’t be any. Turning my head just enough, I spot a rainbow tail sticking out right above my ass. Universe, why do you hate me?
“You do know this isn’t what is meant by get some tail, right?”
“I wasn’t born yesterday, I know what it means!”
“I always knew you had a thing for Rainbow Dash.”
“Stop talking!”
I take a few deep breaths to steady myself. Do not freak out over this. At least you know what caused it and where the cure is. The gears in my head finally shifted into place at the implications of all this. If my tailbone hurt because my (Huh, still feels weird calling it my) tail was constricted then that means…
Oh, I’m actually excited for this one. Pulling my shirt off, I stare into the mirror at my new appendages attached to my back, a pair of cyan blue wings. I couldn’t help smiling at the sight of them. I’m the first human ever to have wings! I can see and feel every little muscle twitch in them.
“This is so awesome!” I shout out. I clasp my hand over my mouth. Did I really just hear what I think I heard? Taking my hand off my mouth, I say in my best Rainbow impression, “OhmygoshOhmygoshOhmygosh!” Sweet, I sound just like Rainbow Dash! After a quick once over to make sure nothing else changed, I rush out to my living room (To the sound of hooves hitting the floor. Apparently, I have hooves now.). I may not be fully happy about this but come on! This is a once in a lifetime chance to fly!
Okay, how to control these wings? I close my eyes, concentrating on every little muscle and nerve, trying to find the ones that control the wings. After some searching, I finally find them once I see that my wings have folded shut. I do a small trial run with opening and closing them, flexing the tips, etc… It’s not that hard in hindsight. All I had to do was flex the muscles in my back to get them to flap. Once I feel ready, I close my eyes and breathe out. Sending the impulse to slowly flap, I feel exhilarated as my feet leave the ground.
THUMP
I fall back to the ground on my ass, rubbing my head. I know there is a ceiling but I didn’t expect to send that much power to these things and hit it! Groaning, I stand up and relax. Okay, a lot less power than last time. Sending the impulse again, I feel my feet lifting off the ground. I can do this. I just need to control when I flap and how hard. Nothing happens for a few moments so I open my eyes and look down. I can’t believe it, I’m hovering in midair. My grin could probably stretch for miles. I’m not that far off the ground so I just stop flapping and lightly land.
A grumble from my stomach reminds me that I need to eat so I head over to the fridge and grab an apple. I munch it down to the core and toss that aside. Hey, I may have equine teeth right now but that doesn’t mean I have to go all the way with this. Afterwards, I rush back to my room to grab some clothes. I can’t wait to hear Flutterguy and burst out laughing. Wrong, I know, but it’s just too funny.
I start scanning my dresser for suitable clothes when it hits me. If my back and tailbone hurt because of constriction on my tail and wings, then putting clothes on will only make it worse. I grab a white tank top and blue basketball shorts. Grabbing a pair of scissors, I cut holes large enough for my tail and wings to fit through. Once I’m satisfied, I head for the front door to go see Twilight about this.
Slowly opening the door, I peek out to make sure nobody is around, which thankfully, no one is. Stepping outside and shutting the door behind me, I sigh and look up to the sun when a cloud catches my eye. I can feel the grin on my face. Forcing my wings into action, I shakily fly up to the cloud. Once I reach the level of the cloud, I reach out and grasp at it. Instead of passing through, my hand grips it. Now this is cool. I rip a chunk off and play with it. It’s like Play-Doh in a way, soft and malleable but able to retain its shape. I roll the chunk into a ball and toss it off into the distance.
Now I got to try this. I grab the cloud and position it underneath me. Slowly lowering the amount of flaps and the strength of them, I land on the cloud and lie down on it. Oh God is this comfortable. The softness and the way it conforms to your body reminds me of sleeping on memory foam. Now I get why Rainbow enjoys these things so much.
I feel like relaxing here forever but my mind reminds me that I need to get this fixed. I sit up and push myself off the cloud, willing my wings to flap in my easy descent towards the library door. What I didn’t account for was the sudden gust of wind that blew me off course, straight towards the library window. I try to balance out but being a first time flyer, I have no idea how to stabilize. Oh shit is this gonna hurt.
“Look out below!” I yell right before I crash into the window. I pushes open without resistance and I hit the ground in a full on roll, stopping only when I smack the wall. I groan and start to open my eyes when things start hitting my head. I try to block them as best as I can but fail miserably. I rub my head where a few of those things hit me.
“Note to self, remember to not get so high off the ground,” I say aloud as I look at the books scattered on the ground around me.
“Rainbow Dash?”
I look up and notice Twilight and Pinkie, both under the effects of Poison Joke, and Spike staring at me. Just because I look like this doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun. I jump up and rush over to Twilight, grabbing her. “Twilight, you got to help me! I can’t fly right anymore! My life is ruined!” I yell in her face, shaking her with each sentence.
She places a hand to her head. “Calm down! I’m trying to find an answer, Rainbow Dash, which I would be doing if you weren’t shaking me!”
Wow, they must really be gullible to believe that I’m Rainbow Dash. That, or I’m a better actor than I thought. “Search faster! It can’t be that hard to find an egghead answer in these things!” I let go of Twilight and grab the nearest book, flipping through the pages.
“I told ya this would happen, Twi!” A high pitched, southern voice shouts from the front door. We all turn to look at Apple Bloom with tiny Applejack on her shoulder.
“Applejack! Not you too!”
“I told ya we would be cursed!”
“I must agree with Applejack, dear.” Rarity tries to blow some of her hair out of her face but fails. Fluttershy is standing right behind her.
“Rarity, Fluttershy! You too!” Fluttershy nods her head.
“Look out below!” Seconds later, Rainbow Dash comes crashing into the library through the same window I did moments ago. She lands in the heap of books from my crash before promptly jumping up and rushing over to Twilight. “Twilight, you got to help me!” Whoa, déjà vu.
“Uh, why are there two Rainbow Dashes?” Spike asks.
“What are you talking about, Spike?! Everypony knows that… I’m…” Rainbow finally takes notice of me. Everybody is glancing from me to Rainbow Dash.
I rub the back of my head and chuckle slightly. Twilight steps forward and studies me. “Blake?”
I laugh. “Took you this long to figure that out? Man, you gotta be faster, Twilight.”
“Blake, what happened to you?”
“Why?” I turn around and bend over, shaking what the Poison Joke gave me. “You see something you like?” I glance back to see all the girls blush furiously and look away. Well, except for Apple Bloom who I’m assuming hasn’t had the talk yet.
“I need an adult.” I hear Spike mumble.
“Hey! Stop messing with my body!”
I stand back up and waggle a finger at Rainbow. “First off, it isn’t your body, it’s mine. Secondly, the worst I could do is ruin your reputation. But all joking aside, anybody got any ideas what happened to us?”
“It ain’t all of us since Fluttershy looks perfectly fine ta me!” Applejack yells as she hops from Apple Bloom’s shoulder to the central table.
“Ya know it doesn’t have to be just looks. Maybe something is wrong internally?” I suggest.
“Fluttershy? Is something wrong with you?” Twilight asks. Fluttershy nods her head.
“Would you please tell us, dear?” Fluttershy shakes her head.
“Let me try.” I say as I step towards Fluttershy and lean in close to her.
“Look, the only way things are going to get better is if you tell us what’s wrong so that we can find an answer, a cure even.”
Fluttershy looks away before answering. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
And there it is. That deep male voice I’ve been waiting to hear. I try to suppress my laughter but this is priceless. I start rolling on the ground. I can make out Spike laughing over the sound of me laughing.
“Look at you guys! We got Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Flutterguy, Spitie Pie, Appleteeny, and…” He stops laughing and thinks for a second as I sit up and get the last of the chuckles out. “Eh, I got nothing. Seriously, Twilight Sparkle and Blake. I can’t even work with those.”
“This isn’t funny!” Twilight shouts.
“Lighten up, Twilight. If you can’t laugh at yourself then what can you laugh at?” I hear a huff of agreement, or at least I think it is agreement, from Pinkie.
“But aren’t you the least bit worried about what caused this?” Rarity asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “A little, but that’s what our resident egghead is here for, right?”
“Ya’ll know as well as I do that Zecora cursed us!” At this, the girls start bickering over a plan.
I’m standing close enough to Apple Bloom to hear her blame herself for this. I bend down and whisper in her ear, “I’m ready whenever you are.”
She smiles at me. We quietly head out before we’re missed by the rest of the girls. Once we’re a good distance away, we break into a full on sprint towards the Everfree. Along the way, I can’t help humming a little song.
“So, Apple Bloom,” I say as we near the forest, watching as a few orange leaves fall from the trees, “What exactly do you intend to do once we find Zecora?”
She skids to a halt. “Ah don’t rightly know. But ah do know that ah’ll prove to the big ponies that ah’m brave!”
“Well, I think you’re brave just for going in here. Hell, you’re braver than Rainbow Dash right now!” I laugh and she can’t help but laugh as well.
“Come on now! We’re burning daylight, and we got ah cure ta find!” She charges into the forest with me right behind her.
We follow the trail for a while, leaping over rotten trees in the path. We’re just about to climb up an incline when a voice makes us both stop. “Apple Bloom! Blake! Ya’ll get back into town this instant!”
“Applejack? Where are ya?” Apple Bloom looks around for Applejack while I just look at Apple Bloom, waiting for Applejack to—
“Down here!” Wait, Applejack is supposed to be in Apple Bloom’s mane. So where the hell is she?
Apple Bloom is staring at my tail. “Uh, Blake? Why is mah sister in yer tail?”
“See! Applejack knows what get some tail means, literally!”
What?! I reach my hand around until I feel a foreign object nestled in the hair. Lightly grabbing it, I pull it out and hold it up to my face. Sure enough, Applejack is in my hand and she does not look happy. If glares could shoot daggers, I’d be dead right now. Witty sense of humor don’t fail me now.
“I didn’t know you were so frisky, Applejack. If you wanted to get that close to my ass, then all you had to do was ask.”
She blushes slightly. “What?! I wasn’t doing anything like that! An’ don’t say things like that around my sister! Now, both of ya get back into town this instant!”
“No,” Apple Bloom says flatly.
“What did ya just say to yer big sister?”
“Ah said no. Ah’m the big sis now and ah say no.” I mentally clap for Apple Bloom. Standing up to your family is very brave. Plus, it’s nice to see Applejack be put in her place.
“What are you to me, Applejack? My mother?” I fly up and place her on a tree branch. “Nothing personal, but we’ll come back for you once we have a cure.” I fly back down and grab Apple Bloom. Throwing her onto my back, I feel her hands wrap around my neck before I take off down the trail again. I can faintly make out Applejack yelling at us.
“Are ya sure that was such ah good idea ta leave mah sister back there?”
“She’s an Element of Harmony and a tough earth pony. I’m sure she’ll be alright.”
Other than a few stumbles here and there, I’m really getting the hang of this flying thing since I am now able to dodge trees and branches with ease. I don’t know why or how, but it feels like my brain is being fed the instructions on how to fly. Up ahead, I come to an abrupt halt outside a hut built into a tree. Masks with different facial features and colors hang from its branches and the entire tree itself has a stench that I can’t even begin to describe. Landing on the ground, I feel Apple Bloom slide off my back.
“Is this ta place?”
“I would assume so. Come on,” I head for the door and motion for her to follow. “Maybe Zecora knows what caused this.”
I knock on the door. A few moments later, the door is opened by a zebra in a grey hoodie and tan cargo pants. “What is this I see? Two ponies not of the Everfree?”
I mentally sigh. I’m gonna hate that rhyming scheme of hers. “Technically, I’m a human from a faraway land. My name is Blake and this here,” I pat Apple Bloom on the head, “is Apple Bloom.”
“Howdy.”
Zecora chuckles slightly. “I see that you are in quite a mess,” She steps off to the side. “Please come in and take a rest.”
Apple Bloom looks up at me. I nod and she steps inside with me right behind her. My attention is immediately drawn to the large cauldron in the center of the room. More masks adorn the walls, along with shelves of vials filled to the brim with different colored liquids. Another shelf on the back wall is filled with bowls of seeds and roots. In a nook beside this is a staircase heading down. At a desk to my left are a mortar, pestle, and an open book. On the floor beside the desk is a black beanbag chair. Sitting right beside the door is a spear.
“So, what exactly caused this? I know for a fact that you warned us about those flowers of blue.”
“That is exactly what I spoke. Those flowers of blue are Poison Joke.”
“Poison Joke? What’s that?” Apple Bloom asks.
“It is like poison oak. But this flower only wants a little joke.”
I groan and facepalm, causing Zecora and Apple Bloom to look at me. “I get it now. I was constantly called and mistaken for a girl all my life for not being the stereotypical guy. So what’s a girl called that likes to do more masculine things? A tomboy, just like Rainbow Dash.” Zecora nods at my statement.
“Okay, I have to admit that’s pretty good,” I laugh before whipping my head towards Zecora. “Now, what’s the freaking cure?!”
“If a cure is what you seek, then I have just the treat.” She points to the cauldron. “This brew will help you, but I need a few more roots to see it through.”
“Ah’ll go an’ get them!” Apple Bloom shouts, nearly blowing my eardrums out at the volume.
“Are you sure you want to go out there alone?”
“Ah’ll be fine. If ah’m gonna be ah brave pony like you, then ah need ta act like one!” You know, I’m sorta touched that she considers me brave.
“Don’t let her go out there alone.”
I shrug. “Alright, I’ll let you go out there. But if anything happens, yell and I’ll come running.”
“You got it!”
Zecora hands a backpack to Apple Bloom. Zecora grabs the book off the table and uses it to show Apple Bloom and me what items are needed. I have a hard time understanding what is exactly needed but Apple Bloom picks up on it right away. She opens the door and steps outside, promising to be back before shutting it behind her.
While we wait for Apple Bloom, Zecora and I ask each other general questions about our homes and lives. We are in the middle of a conversation about what each of her masks mean when an urge that I’ve been resisting since morning rears its ugly head. “Hey, Zecora? Sorry to interrupt but… Do you have a bathroom I could use?”
She chuckles. “But of course I do. Head downstairs to find the loo.”
“Thanks!” I bolt down the stairs. This must be where Zecora sleeps since a bed is against the wall with a dream catcher hanging above it. More masks line the walls and floor along with some simple bookshelves. Spotting a door to my right, I rush inside and am relieved to finally find a toilet to use.
Let’s just say that I walked out of that bathroom with a great chunk of my manly pride left behind. I just start up the steps when I hear shouting and objects breaking from above. Sprinting up the steps, I barge into the room to see Rainbow Dash crashing around the room and the rest of the girls in front of the door.
Twilight looks at me. “Blake! You’re alright!”
“Of course I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because Zecora is an evil witch who cursed us and was trying to make Apple Bloom stew!”
“Twilight, you really need—”
“Where’s mah sister?!” Applejack yells at me from her perch on Zecora’s ear.
I grasp my head in pain as my vision turns to white.
“Ah just gotta keep moving! Ah just gotta!”
I jump over a log that fell over the path and continue running. Risking a glance behind me, I see two large creatures with piercing yellow eyes and bodies made of wood chasing after me. I keep running from the danger behind me. All around me, the forest whips by as I try to remember the way to Zecora’s hut.
I scream. “Blake, Applejack! Help me! Ah don’t wanna die!”
“Snap out of it, Blake!” I feel something collide with my face and I fall to the ground. Rubbing my face where I just got punched, I sit up. I look to see Rainbow in front of me and everybody else in the room staring wide eyed at me.
“What happened? What did I do?” I ask.
“I-It was very scary. You grabbed your head in pain…” Fluttershy looks away from me.
“You screamed, Blake. Like somepony was hurting you. What happened?” Twilight asks
I mentally replay what happened in my head. I was having a vision from the point of view of… I know my eyes went wide. “Apple Bloom…” I jump up. Shoving the girls away from the door, I grab the spear and bolt outside, taking flight. I don’t know where Apple Bloom and those Timberwolves are but for some reason, I feel this gentle tugging during my flight that tells me which way to go.
I hear snarling so I must be close. Bursting into a clearing, time just seems to slow down in my head as I look at the scene before me. Apple Bloom is pressed up against a tree and whimpering as two Timberwolves close in on her. I gotta move.
“Do you even have a plan?”
“Uh, yeah? It’s called Plan Charge in There and Hope I Don’t Die.”
“Great plan. Really loving the amount of thought put into it. Best plan I’ve ever heard. This is not sarcasm.”
With as much speed and force I can muster, I charge shoulder first into the nearest Timberwolf. It falls to the side and I land on top of it. Before it can recover, I take the spear and shove it into its eye at an upward angle, hoping to hit its brain. That is, if it even has one. I hear a yelp of pain and a popping sound. Yellow goop explodes from the eye and splatters all over me. Just to be sure, I shove the spear into the other eye. The wolf falls apart and I hit the ground.
“Blake!” I hear Apple Bloom shout.
I look up to see the second Timberwolf pouncing towards me. Having no time to react, it leaps on top of me. I feel the spear slip out of my grasp. It raises one of its paws. I try to avoid roll to the side but can’t. The wolf has me pinned firmly within its paw. I scream in pain as talons rip through flesh. Oh God, is this how I die? Defending a little filly? This is it. This is how I die. There is so much I wanted to do and see.
“Fight! You can do this! You can survive! You’ve faced tougher foes in your games!”
“I can’t! I’m not cut out to be a hero!”
“Then become a hero! That little filly over there, the one that looks up to you, is going to be next if you don’t do something right now! Fight for her! Fight for those that can’t!”
The voice is right. I can do this! I need to do this! As long as I still draw breath, Apple Bloom is not dying today!
The Timberwolf leans down towards my face. This is probably the smartest or dumbest thing I can do. Rearing my head back, I headbutt the Timberwolf. It yelps in pain and stumbles off of me. Taking my chance, I roll towards the spear.
Grabbing it and awkwardly holding it one handed, I jump up and leap on the back of the Timberwolf. Doing my best to keep balanced, I jam the spear into its left eye. It howls in pain as the eye explodes. I shove the spear into the other eye and get the same reaction. The Timberwolf thrashes about, trying to throw me off its back. I squeeze my legs around its midsection. Driving the spear through the top of its head, the Timberwolf goes still. The entire body falls apart and I flop to the ground.
I sit there panting for breath before looking at my left arm. Oozing out of two long gashes, blood is starting to cake on my blue skin. It hurts every time I try to move it, like someone is taking a red hot poker to it. My entire body is covered in yellow goo.
I sit there in shock. Did I really just kill another creature? I know I just saved a life, but why do I feel so hollow about it? Did I really do the right thing in killing the Timberwolves? No, I did the right thing. It could have happened a different way, yes, but this results was better than doing nothing and having both of us die.
I’m shaken back to reality when I hear sobbing. Turning my head, I look over at Apple Bloom. She has tucked her legs up to her chest and is crying in them. I crawl over to her and wrap my arms around her. She throws herself onto me and cries even harder, if that is possible. I can feel her tears running down my chest. I whisper in her ear, “Everything is okay, Apple Bloom. We’re safe. Nothing can hurt you now.”
“But it’s not okay!” She looks up at me through teary eyes. “Ya got hurt ‘cause of me! Ah nearly died! All ‘cause ah wanted ta be brave!” She goes back to crying into my chest.
I rub my hand through her hair. “Hey, it isn’t your fault. No one could have predicted this.”
We sit there for a while until she gets her crying down to light sobbing. “But ya still got hurt protecting me.”
“Sometimes we have to get hurt to protect the ones we care for.”
She sniffles and looks up at me. Some of the goo is spread on her as well. “But—”
“No buts. I would gladly go through pain like this again if it meant protecting you, or any one of my friends. Remember, Apple Bloom, as long as I’m here, nothing will ever bring you pain again.”
She smiles slightly and cuddles up against me. “Thank ya, Blake. Thank ya for saving me. Ah’m sorry it came ta this.”
“No need to be sorry. Now come on, everybody is probably worried sick about us,” She pushes herself off of me and winces as she puts pressure on her right leg. She tries to hide it. “Are you alright?”
“Ah tripped on a root and sprained mah hoof.”
I grab the backpack that is lying on the ground beside the tree and throw it on her back. “Walking isn’t the best thing for you right now, so I’ll carry you.” She nods and I bend down so that she can climb onto my back easier. Grabbing the spear with my left hand, I walk back through the forest to Zecora’s. Again, I don’t know how but I know exactly where to go to find it.
Once I find Zecora’s hut, I push the door open with my foot to see the mess the girls made completely cleaned up.
“So apparently, cleaning up a mess they made is more important than chasing after you.”
“I know, right? Remind me to bring this up next time they’re in trouble.”
“With pleasure.”
They’re all facing away from the door. Apparently, Zecora told them that this wasn’t her doing and the true cause of our ailments.
“Honey, I’m home.” Hey, comedy helps me through the worst of times.
“Blake, did you…” The words die in Twilight’s mouth as she turns around and sees me. Her mouth is wide open along with the rest of the girls, who have turned around as well. God, I must look like a mess.
Applejack is the first to recover. “Apple Bloom! Are you alright?!”
I walk over and set her down on the beanbag chair. “Ah’m fine, sis. Blake saved mah life.”
This was enough to snap the girls out of their shock. Every eye in the room is drawn to me. Fluttershy is apparently the first to notice the blood. “Oh my gosh! You’re bleeding!”
“Yeah, that’s what happens when you get attacked and cut.”
“What happened? You bolted out of here after saying Apple Bloom,” Twilight asks.
“Apple Bloom was corned by creatures that looked like wolves made of wood, which I’m calling Timberwolves. I flew in and killed them, but not before one pinned me down and swiped a claw at me.”
Applejack is standing on Twilight’s shoulder. She takes off her hat. “Thank ya, Blake. Thank ya for saving my sister. Ah’m sorry for the way I acted towards ya yesterday. I just didn’t want ta lose mah sister.”
“Apology accepted and you’re welcome. Aside from a sprained hoof, she’s fine.”
“D-D-Did you have to have to k-k-kill those Timberwolves?” Fluttershy asks.
“Did I want to? No. Did I have to? I’m still debating that. Would I do it again? Gladly, if it meant protecting others.”
“The cut isn’t that deep, I see. I should have some remedy within my tree.”
“I’ll take whatever you got right now.”
Zecora searches through her shelves until she finds a vial with a light green liquid in it. She swirls it around a bit before walking over and pouring some of it onto the cuts. It feels like someone is taking a bottle of rubbing alcohol and dumping it on the cuts. I bite my lip to avoid crying out in pain. After a little bit, the pain dies down.
“That potion is your cure. Tomorrow, you will feel much better, I’m sure.”
“Next time, warn a guy… Err, mare. But thanks anyway. So, do you have all the ingredients for the cure for Poison Joke?”
“That is all the ingredients from the Everfree. But alas, I am missing one from Ponyville, you see.”
Twilight smirks. “I think we can help you with that.”
On our trip back, I carry Apple Bloom on my back and make lazy circles in the air around the girls. Aside from the whole being female part of this, I could get used to flying. I ask the girls, “So, I’m assuming you figured out Zecora didn’t cause this?”
“We may have… Overreacted a bit about Zecora being evil. She already filled us is on the Poison Joke,” Twilight said.
I chuckle. “Glad to see that you learned the lesson of don’t judge a book by its cover, both physically and metaphorically.”
“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you something, Blake.”
“Shoot.” I turn around in front of Twilight to face her, flying backwards.
“How is it that you’re able to fly so well? You don’t normally have wings.”
“That… Is honestly a good question. At first, I was an accident waiting to happen. But as the day progressed, I found I was getting better. It’s almost like someone was feeding me the instructions on how to fly.”
“Of course you’re an awesome flyer! I am the best flyer in Equestria! It makes sense that you would get my raw talent.” Rainbow rubs a hand on her chest and shoots me a confident grin.
“Or maybe it’s because I’m a better flyer than you.” Rainbow’s grin turns into a frown as we all laugh at my little joke.
“Hey, Blake?”
“Yeah, Apple Bloom?”
“That song you were humming on the way here. Would ya please sing it? It had ah really nice beat to it.”
“I would, but I need the music for it.” As I say this, music starts playing. How in the world is music playing in the middle of a forest?
“Hold on!” The music stops abruptly, complete with a record scratch, and the girls all stare at me, “Why and how is music playing that directly matches the song I’m thinking of, and on that note, how is it that I was able to sing a song in perfect harmony with Pinkie without knowing a single lyric?”
“Well, you see, Equestria is filled with ambient magic—”
“Let me stop you right there. All you had to say was magic and I would understand.”
“Really?”
“No, but I’ve come to accept that everything around here can be explained with magic. Anyway, you wanted to hear a song so here it is.” The music returns and I bob my head along with it. It’s the first brony song I ever heard, Twenty Percent Cooler. How fitting is it that I sing this with the way I look right now. After the song is over, I do a little midair bow to the clapping of everyone present.
“Aw yeah! An awesome song about yours truly!”
“I must admit that some of the lyrics were… adult themed. How did you ever come up with them?” Rarity asks me.
“They just came to me on the spot.” I return my attention to the path to see that we are just leaving the forest. I also didn’t want to look at Applejack for fear of her catching my lie. Why did she have to become the ultimate lie detector machine? “Oh look, we’re almost there.”
As we near the town, I hold up my hand.
“Blake, what are you—”
“Five, four, three, two, o—”
“The wicked enchantress has cursed them all! The horror! The horror!” I hear a random pony shout.
I snap my fingers as ponies run screaming into buildings. “Oh, and I was so close. You know, you ponies really freak out over every little thing.”
“We didn’t freak out over you,” Applejack says.
“Touché.”
Apple Bloom slides off my back as Twilight walks over and knocks on the door of a building with a little sign showing flowers in a vase hanging above the door. You know, I never really noticed it before but looking at it now, every building around here looks exactly the same! Well, save for buildings like Sugercube Corner. Each house has the same yellow paint, same two story design, same front door, same thatched roof, and the same windows.
“Alright, I have the ingredients right here. Now we just need a tub big enough for us to use.”
“I believe I may be able to assist with that. The spa has a large tub for steam baths. I’m sure Aloe and Lotus wouldn’t mind if we use it.”
“Well, that’s the plan then. I’ll catch up with you at the spa. I need to grab something from my place.” I turn around and flare my wings, prepping myself for flight.
“Do you even know what the spa looks like?” Rainbow asks.
“Do you? You look as if you’ve never been to one if your life. Seriously though, how hard can it be? Large building, most likely yellow or blue, somewhere near the middle of town?” Before they can respond, I take flight and head for my home.
I doesn’t take long for me to reach my home and land outside the front door. Rushing inside, I jump in the shower and rinse the goo off of me. I then grab my swim trunks with Hawaiian flowers all over it and clothes for me to wear after the change. Throwing everything into a Borderlands 2 Claptrap cinch bag and heading back outside, I take flight once the door is shut behind me.
It honestly wasn’t that hard to find the spa. It is near town hall and looks exactly like it does in the show, painted purple with white surfaces, gold inlay, and large bay windows(Which I honestly think is a bad idea for a spa. The windows, not the color.). I land outside the door and step inside.
A small bell announces my arrival. I do a quick check of my surroundings. I’m in a large reception area with a curved desk on the wall in front of me. To my left and right are chairs and tables with magazines and newspapers on them. The walls are painted a dark magenta. Potted plants sit scattered around the room. Multiple doors presumably lead to the different treatments. Speakers are mounted in the corners of the room and are currently playing classical music. Hanging on the walls are pictures of ponies, who I can only assume are very important since Rarity has a picture on the wall. Sitting behind the desk is an earth pony that’s blue with pink hair. A lotus flower is nestled in her hair, along with a white headband. She is wearing light purple shirt and white dress pants. Judging by the lotus flower, I’m gonna assume this is Lotus.
“Ah, you must be with lady Rarity. She already explained your situation to us. Please follow me,” She says in a German (I guess it would be called Germane here, wouldn’t it?) accent.
She leads me to a door off to my right which opens into a little hallway. This opens up into a room dominated by a large tub in the center, which the girls are currently in, and cured by the looks of it, with a deck that wraps halfway around the tub. Apple Bloom is pouring what looks like bath salts into the water while an earth pony that’s pink with blue hair, wearing the exact same clothes as Lotus minus the lotus flower, and Zecora are standing off to side talking to each other.
“Couldn’t wait to start the party without me, eh?”
All heads turn to look at me. “Oh good, you made it. For a second there, we thought you got lost.” Twilight says.
I wave my hand at her. “This place wasn’t that hard to find.”
“Then what took you so long? I would’ve made it here in ten seconds flat.”
“Don’t start with me. You girls all had time to run home and grab a swimsuit, or Twilight teleported them here, so it’s only fitting that I get mine,” I turn to Lotus, “You got a place where I can change?”
“Certainly. The privacy screens are right over there.” She points to the screens and I head over to them. After changing into my suit, I step out from behind the screen. As I start to climb the steps to the deck, I notice the girls staring at me. Applejack whistles, causing Rainbow to smack her upside the head.
“What?” I ask, an eyebrow raised.
“Uh, you’re not wearing a shirt…” Twilight says with a blush on her face.
“Gee, thanks for that, Captain Obvious. And don’t act so surprised. You’re all girls so you’ve seen this,” I wave a hand over my chest, “before.”
Standing at the edge of the tub, I smirk and take a few steps back. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie are vigorously nodding their heads, obviously seeing what I’m about to do. Rarity’s eyes widen. “Blake, are you—”
“Cannonball!”
I sprint towards the tub. Jumping into the air and tucking my legs against my chest, I crash into the water and sink slightly. Kicking my feet off the bottom of the tub (Which is deeper than I suspected.), I surface and observe the damage. Everybody is soaking wet. I burst out laughing along with Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie. I notice my voice has returned to normal.
“Where’s a camera when you need one?!” I glance at my arms to see them back to normal, with the addition of two long scabs along my left arm.
“Was the cannonball really necessary?” Twilight deadpans. Both she and Rarity are just glaring at me.
“Of course it was! Hang on a second, I need to check something.” Turning my back to the girls, I reach underwater. Oh, what joy to be male again! I reach around my back and feel nothing. Pulling a strand of hair down, I see that it has returned to its brown, curly state. That change happened faster than I thought. Then again, magic apparently solves everything in this place!
I turn around and lean into the edge of the tub, slowly sinking under the water. “Ah, feels good to be back to normal.”
“I hear ya there.” The girls all murmur in agreement at Applejack’s statement.
As we sit in silence, just enjoying this wonderful bath (Seriously, it feels like every pore on my body is singing in joy), I glance at each of the girls to see what they’re wearing. Rarity, Twilight and Fluttershy are wearing one pieces, light blue for Rarity, green for Fluttershy, and purple for Twilight. Pinkie, Applejack, and Rainbow are wearing bikinis, a yellow, balloon print for Pinkie, a red bikini top and blue jean shorts for Applejack, and black for Rainbow. So apparently, they have Cutie Marks since I can clearly see Dash’s.
Thanks to them wearing bikinis, I am able to see every muscle definition on their bodies, the earth ponies especially. God damn, it’s like they could snap a tree in half with their legs alone! My eyes slowly trace Applejack’s toned body, years of farm work really paying off for her. While Applejack and Pinkie have very defined leg muscles, Rainbow is toned but slim. It’s like she can cut through the air like a knife with that body. Remind me to thank whoever came up with the brilliant idea for males and females to share spa baths in this world.
Gah, what am I thinking?! I can’t think shit like this! They’re half freaking pony!
“But where does the pony start and end, if you catch my drift?”
“You stay out of this! I don’t need these thoughts right now!”
“Come on. Look at that sleek, toned body. The firmness and—”
“Stop talking!”
“Hey, I’m only trying to be a good wingman here.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t need a wingman now. But maybe in the future…”
“Hey, Zecora,” I interrupt Zecora’s conversation, causing every head in the room to turn to me, “How long do we need to stay in this? I got places to go and things to do.”
“This brew packs quite a kick. You can leave when you feel fit.”
“Welp, I’m outta here,” I climb out of the tub. Lotus is instantly by my side with a towel. I accept it from her with a nod and head to the screen to dry myself off and change.
“Thanks again, Zecora. I’ll see you tomorrow, girls.” I wave goodbye to them as I leave the room and head for the exit. Stepping outside, I take a deep breath of air. It really is a beautiful day. Maybe I should take a walk around town or relax in the park before going home.
A buzzing sound draws my attention to a little orange pegasi filly with a purple hair, wearing a black jacket over a light blue shirt and a pair of dark green cargo pants, on a scooter heading down the street in front of me. Her tiny wings beat furiously, propelling her along. You know, I always was curious where Scootaloo lived since it never was explained in the show. As she rounds a corner, I sprint off after her.
“You’re stalking a little filly. You do realize how creepy this is, right? Where’s a cop when you need one?”
It wasn’t that hard to follow Scootaloo as she wound her way through town. Her top speed was basically a light jog to me. I follow her to the outskirts of town. Okay, now I’m really curious. We passed by plenty of houses when we were in town. At the end of a large path is a building that makes me stop. Scootaloo rides right up to the front door, gets off her scooter, and heads inside.
The building looks simple enough. It’s a simple brown painted two story with the ground floor having two larges additions jutting off from the central building. Windows line the entire building. Out front is a small playground with simple things like a sandbox and swings. Hanging above the door is a sign that shows a picture of two hands holding out towards what looks like a colt and filly. No, what made me stop was the giant sign planted in the ground in front of me.
“Ponyville Orphanage”, it proclaims in bold. Directly underneath that is the classic guilt trip line, “Won’t you please come in and adopt one of our members? Nopony should be left without a parent.” I cringe. I really didn’t want it to be true but sadly, it is.
“Do not do it! Do not even think about doing it! Do not even think about not doing it!”
Fine, you win this round, voice in my head. But know this. I will do exactly what I am thinking of someday. It may be a week from now or a month but it will be done. I can promise you that.
My stomach grumbling reminds me that I haven’t eaten since breakfast. Better head home and get something to eat then call it a day. I’m thinking a nice Italian dinner tonight will go great with those cannolis.
Not exactly ten thousand words, but hey! I still set a new personal record for number of words in one chapter so 
! Also, happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!
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Man, I absolutely love this chapter, especially how Blake teased the girls.
5319456 Thank you!
5320204 nice chap can't wait for the next
I know how defeat the voice in your head!!
You can control us so that doesn't count.
Fine.
Yeah!! All we can do is take control of your body when YOU want us to!!
I get it!!
I agree with Joy, and He only lets me take control.
Because I only trust you, Relaxation.
Thank you.
5329787 Guys, guys, relax! Whoever said Blake wanted to defeat the voice? I mean, couldn't he exist peacefully with it, like you guys? Besides, it's not like the voice can assume control of Blake... yet.
5332014 Nice vague spoiler, you sly fox. Oh, me and Rage kinda fight for control sometimes. Relaxation helps me with that.
I WILL get complete control over this body one day.
No, you won't.
(sorry about not responding, my computer went 'nope' and stopped working for a while)
5344971 Well, would you mind pointing out instances of this? How am I supposed to become a better writer if people aren't willing to point out the mistakes?
EDIT: Okay, I see what you mean now. I'll get to work on changing it as soon as I am able. Still, thanks for bringing it to my attention.
All these references are cringey and, more importantly, serve no plot purpose.
again this bullshit implies humans cant eat apple cores.
Dafug again with this?!?!?
Hahahahaha. Rainbow is either gonna be pissed that he saw her naked or will be too busy laughing.
Definitely gonna be pissed he flashed every pony with her body.
You better keep that promise or answer to him. *points back at black cloak wearing being with a scythe* he takes Scootaloo's happiness very seriously.