“Permanent Vacation”
A Bird in the Hoof or Blaze of Glory
The next day, after sending Scootaloo off to school, I figure that the weather looks nice enough to go for a jog around town. It’ll give Sonja and me a chance to stretch our legs. On the plus side, I’ll probably be able to swing around to Golden Oaks, Sweet Apple Acres, and Scratched Records in one sitting. I make sure to grab a water bottle before stepping outside, where I stretch a couple of muscles while Sonja wanders around the area, occasionally sniffing whatever object caught her attention at that moment. With a whistle, I set off towards the Sweet Apple Acres first in a light stride. Why rush when I could enjoy the beautiful scenery?
Whistling to myself, time seems to pass by all too fast as I notice that I’m nearing the main entrance to Sweet Apple Acres. And… I forgot how big this place is. Finding Big Mac in here could take ages. I did say that I didn’t want to rush, but I don’t want to spend the next couple of hours wandering through an orchard. Maybe Granny Smith or somebody else might be at the farmhouse and know where he is? It seems as good a place as any to start.
Nearing the farmhouse, I spot Applejack leaving the barn. She looks off towards the east, taking her Stetson off and wiping her brow. With a bark, Sonja bounds up to her. Applejack looks at her. “Well howdy there girl. What brings you round here?”
“What’s going on, Applejack?”
Applejack looks over to me. “Heh, knew ya couldn’t be too far behind from Sonja here. Just working up a good sweat hauling in the barrels of cider.”
I nod my head. “Ah, how soon you selling them then?”
“Pretty soon, actually. Though ah’m mighty sure that ain’t the only reason ya stopped by today.”
I smirk. “You know me so well. I’m actually looking for your brother. Is he around here?”
She jerks her thumb over her shoulder. “He’s in the barn.”
“Thanks.” I walk around her into the barn proper. What was once open space is lined with row upon row of barrels that rise up to the ceiling. I whistle at the sheer sight of it. I hear a grunt and a loud thud from my left. I look over. “Working up a good sweat there, Mac?”
Mac turns to me, breathing heavily. “Ya know you’re doing good work when ya work up a sweat.”
I chuckle. “Words to live by, my friend. Anyway, not gonna waste too much of your time. What are your thoughts on a tour sometime soon?”
“Ah’m fine with it, as long as we wait till after cider season.”
I nod my head. “Fair enough. I’ll let you get back to work now.” With Mac on board, it’s time to see about the rest of the band. Leaving the barn, I catch Sonja and Winona playing around the trees. I whistle. “Sonja, let’s go.” Sonja races up to my side, letting out a few barks. With a smile on my face, I head back into town and make my way towards the next stop, Scratched Records.
Upon reaching it, I see Vinyl and Lyra already inside. Opening the door, with the still broken glass I might add, I chuckle. “You just couldn’t wait to tell Vinyl about our plans for a tour, Lyra.”
They turn to look at me. “Well, yeah! I’m so excited for one that I couldn’t wait to bring the idea up to Vinyl!”
Vinyl nods her head. “And I’m all for it, but all four of you need to be on board.”
I motion to Lyra. “Well, you already got us two, or we wouldn’t be standing here. I just talked with Mac and he’s fine with it as long as it’s after cider season. And I’m gonna talk to Spike later, but he should be on board for it.”
Vinyl smirks. “Well, it sounds like you got everything planned out. Makes me wonder why you even need me?”
I playfully punch her on the shoulder. “I may have the plan, but who’s the mare that’s gonna execute it? Besides, who’s the mare that got us started on the path to stardom?”
She pokes me in the chest. “And don’t you forget it!”
We share a good laugh after that. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to know what happened to Vinyl’s door, would you?”
I glance over my shoulder. “Yeah… About that…” I fish into my pocket and hand Vinyl a bag of bits. “This should cover the replacement of the door.”
Vinyl raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one that broke it?”
“Well, yeah, but I had to get in here somehow since Pinkie and I needed some things from the shop to stop the parasprite invasion. I told Pinkie I’d pay for it, so I am. I hope you’re not too mad about it.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Eh, I’m still mad, but at least you’re paying for it.”
I raise an eyebrow. “We good then?”
She smirks. “Yeah, right after this.” I don’t see Vinyl’s hand swinging towards the left side of my face. I reel back from her solid hit, working my jaw to remove some of the pain. “Now we’re good.”
I smirk once some feeling returns to my jaw. “Nice swing. I figured something like that was gonna happen.”
Vinyl motions towards the door. “Yeah, yeah. Just get out of here before I change my mind.”
I inch towards the door. “Right, yeah, see ya later you two.” Without so much as a second glance back, I sprint out the door. Not that I’m afraid of Vinyl, but… Magic. Not really something I can fight against, can I? Once I deem myself far enough away, I stop to catch my breath. Looking off to my left, I sigh in relief at the sight of a bench. Sitting down, I lean back and slowly drink from the water bottle I brought. I motion for Sonja to wander around while I sit here.
“Heh, what were you running from?”
I glance at Rainbow hovering in the air to the left. “Have you been following me all day?”
“Nah, only spotted ya when you were running away.”
“I’ll have you know that I was getting away from Vinyl before she did more than punch me.”
Rainbow smirks. “Running away from a mare now? I thought you were supposed to be tough?”
I roll my eyes. “First, I don’t fight my friends. Second, I’m not gonna fight against magic. It’s tougher to fight against something you’re unfamiliar with.”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say, tough guy.”
I stand up and whistle. “Come on, Sonja. We got one more stop today.”
“Where you going?”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why? Want to tag along?”
She nods her head. “I got nothing better to do today anyway. So where we going?”
Best not to argue at this point of her being with. Once she’s got her mind set on something, nothing will deter her from it. “Over to Twilight’s. I gotta talk to Spike, and then maybe do some light reading.”
“Cool.” We stroll through town, or in Rainbow’s case, fly, as we make our way towards Golden Oaks. As we near it, Rainbow nudges me. “Hey, I’m gonna take my normal route in.”
I smirk. “Crashing through the window?”
She punches me in the shoulder. “Hey, that only happened one time!”
I smirk. “I’m pretty sure Twilight has a running count of how many times it actually happened.”
“Eight, to be exact.”
I turn to the front door to see Spike standing there with his arms crossed. I nudge Rainbow. “See? I told ya she would.”
Spike motions inside. “If you two are done out here, you can come inside.”
Stepping inside, I smell a succulent smell wafting around the library. I take a good, long whiff of it. “What’s cooking today?”
Spike smirks. “Oh, just some breakfast burritos I’m making. You want some?”
Oh… I really shouldn’t… I nod my head. Food will always win out in the end. “Yeah, if you don’t mind.” I catch Rainbow drooling. Spike sees it too, causing both of us to chuckle. I reach over and slowly close her mouth. “You’re gonna catch flies that way.”
She shakes her head. “Got room for one more?”
Spike nods his head. “Sure, if you can handle the heat.”
Following him into the kitchen, I see Twilight already sitting at the table, minus any food in front of her. “Oh, hello you two. Are you joining Spike and I for breakfast?”
Rainbow flies over to sit down beside Twilight. “When the food smells this good, it’s gotta be tasty, right? I’m in.”
I sit down across from Twilight. “Yeah, I’m in too.” I rub Sonja with my foot s she lies down underneath the table.
Spike slides some plates on the table, a delectable burrito sitting on the plate. It makes my mouth water just looking at it. “Enjoy, everypony.” Before Spike can sit down, he burps out a scroll.
Twilight grabs the scroll with her magic, unfurling it before her. “Let’s see… It’s a letter from Princess Celestia!” I roll my eyes. Gee, who else would write her? “It says she’s coming down tomorrow for her visit!”
I snap my fingers in front of her face before she can start hyperventilating. “Hey, hey! Calm yourself, and eat your food. You already handled this once before she cancelled, and you can do it again. Getting yourself worked up isn’t gonna be good for anyone.”
She sighs, yet has a smile on her face. “You’re right, but I just want everything to be perfect for her visit.”
I nod my head. “And it will be, when you’re thinking straight. You get worked up, and you’ll start making mistakes.”
“Alright, touchy feely moment over! We got food to eat!” Leave it to Rainbow to ruin the moment.
I glance at Twilight. “You good?”
She nods her head. “Yeah, I’m good.”
I clap my hands. “Good! Let’s eat, then get to the real reason I’m here.” Taking my first bite of the burrito, the instant heat from the spices scalds my mouth while a celebration of flavors parties its way down my throat. I gotta wonder where Spike learned how to cook all these amazing foods! Then again, he did live in the castle with Twilight. He must have picked up some of the cooking techniques while living up there.
Whatever the case may be, it isn’t long before we’re all done. With a content sigh, I lean back in my chair. “Keep cooking like that, Spike, and I may just have to steal you from Twilight.”
“Heh, you’re gonna have to beat me first.”
Spike rolls his eyes. “Or you guys could visit more often.”
I roll my eyes. “Actually, I’m being serious.”
Twilight tilts her head. “You’re gonna kidnap Spike from me?”
I chuckle. “Well, in a manner of speaking, yes. Ya see, Lyra brought up a great idea for the band to have its first tour. And you can’t have a tour if all of the members don’t come with.”
Spike pumps his claw in the air. “Alright! I was waiting for this day to come!”
“Good for you guys.”
I nod my head. “Thanks, Twilight.” I clap my hands and stand up. “I thank you again for the food, but now I wanna go home and plan out our tour.”
Twilight nods her head. “Okay, but don’t forget to come to Celestia’s visit tomorrow.”
I wave my hand at her. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll take some time out to come see Celestia tomorrow.”
After leaving Twilight’s yesterday, I went home and jotted down my plans for the tour. Of course, everyone else would have to sign off on it, but at least we would have a baseline. So far, I kinda like the idea of doing something a bit more edgy with our style, doing more rock songs, some swearing, that kind of stuff. But, that’s for us to sign off on.
As for now, I head over to Sugarcube Corner around noon to meet Celestia. Everywhere I look, I spot something done specially for Celestia, such as banners adorned with her Cutie Mark and freshly planted white and gold flowers. I sigh and shake my head. These ponies will do anything to try and make a princess happy.
Nearing Sugarcube Corner, I spot two royal guards with spears standing out front beside the door. As I go to reach for the door, the two cross their spears in front of me. With a roll of my eyes, I step back. “So, that’s how it’s gonna be, eh?” Not a word from the guards. I shrug my shoulders. “Suit yourself.” Drawing the Diamondback (Hey, gotta mix it up every so often), I aim up into the air off to my right and fire. The bang only causes the guards to tighten their grip on their spears, while inside I hear a crash.
The front door is thrown open. “What is going on out here?!”
I wave at Twilight. “Hey, Twilight, mind telling our friends here to let me in? Oh, and sorry about whatever broke in there.”
Twilight blinks a few times. “He’s good. Let him in.”
The guards withdraw their spears, yet continue to glare at me. Yeah, intimidation isn’t gonna work on me. Holstering the Diamondback, I smile. “Thank you.” With nothing more to say, I waltz into Sugarcube Corner. All eyes are trained on me though. I jerk a thumb over my shoulder. “You really gotta teach these guards to recognize me, Celestia.”
She lightly sips from a tea cup, seemingly unfazed. “One can never be too cautious, Blake.”
I shrug my shoulders. “I would argue on that if I didn’t agree with it. But enough about that, I here to eat some food and chat.” I saunter over to the food, grabbing pretty much one of everything. May as well enjoy the fruits of my labor. After I’m satisfied, I sit down beside Applejack, who’s sitting two seats away from Celestia. I notice her eyeing her plate. I nudge her. “Well, dig in now.”
She leans towards me. “But it’s the Princess ah’m eating in front of.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Why does that matter?”
“But it’s the Princess!” I hear a slight chuckle from Celestia. Glancing over, I see her cup overflowing with tea.
I roll my eyes. “And I’m sure she doesn’t mind.” I nod my head towards Celestia. “Look at her right now. She just trolled Mister Cake.”
Applejack looks at Celestia, then back to me. With a shrug of her shoulders, Applejack picks up the largest piece of cake she has and stuffs it into her mouth. I smirk. Off in the corner, I notice Twilight looking like she’s having an aneurysm. I pat Applejacks back. “That’s my girl.”
“So, Blake, how has life in Ponyville been treating you?”
I take a bite of a red velvet cupcake and swallow it before responding. “Oh, the same old stuff, different day. I’m actually thinking of doing a tour with the Rejects to break the monotony of it all.”
Celestia nods her head. “I’m glad to hear it. Anything in particular you’d like to do?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Personally, I’d like for us to do something a bit more edgy, maybe some hard rock. But it all falls down to how we as a team feel about it.”
“And that is how it should be.” She sighs. “All too often, ponies forget to hear what others say, instead acting on their own desires or whims in what they think are the best courses of action.”
I raise a glass of water that Pinkie had filled up for me. “I’ll drink to that.”
Celestia levitates her cup over, clinking it to my glass before calling Fluttershy over. With our chat done, I go back to enjoying my food. Damn, do Pinkie and I do some fine work. Though my natural curiosity has me glancing back towards Celestia and Fluttershy. I raise an eyebrow at the bird cage beside Celestia. Dear God, that is one ugly bird. Wait… Isn’t that Philomena? Eh, best not to dwell on it right now.
A guard enters the building. “Your majesty, I must inform you of your meeting with the mayor soon.”
Celestia nods her head and stands up. “I’m terribly sorry everypony, but I must leave. Thank you all for your wonderful hospitality.” As Celestia walks out of the building, having to duck to make it out the door, I notice Twilight sigh as a smile crosses her face.
I motion her over. “Well, it seems that everything went off without a hitch, no?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Things could have gone better, but yes, it could have been a lot worse.”
I shrug my shoulders. “Ya gotta learn to relax a bit, Twilight. The plan is never gonna go the way you planned, so you need to just roll with the punches and adapt on the fly.”
“But it’s the Princess we’re talking about!”
I roll my eyes. “And as you can see, she’s very upset. Can’t you practically hear the anger and disgust in her voice?”
Her eyes widen. “She is?!”
“Hey, way to go dipshit! You can’t even defuse her tension without making a snarky remark!”
“And this comes as a surprise to you?”
“Ahem. I do believe that Blake is being sarcastic, Twilight.” Oh hey, there’s Rarity. I didn’t even notice her. Personally, I thought she would be doing her hardest to flaunt her clothing around and making a scene.
Twilight sighs. “Don’t do that to me!”
I shrug my shoulders. “Well, I didn’t mean to do it, but you didn’t pick up on the sarcasm.” I think I’ve just about had enough of this place for the day. Standing up, I nod my head to the girls. “Sorry for ditching ya, but I’m gonna head home and catch up on some reading.”
“But we haven’t even gotten to the best part of the brunch yet!”
I eye the amount of sweets still untouched. “Yeah… Sorry, Pinkie, but I’m hearing the word diabetes chanting over and over in my head.” No, really, I can.
“Agent…”
“But it’s just so easy and fun!”
Twilight nods her head. “I’m glad you could make though. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
I glance at Philomena’s cage, now empty and with Fluttershy nowhere to be seen. I smirk. “Oh, I’m sure I will, Twilight.”
With an exchange of goodbyes, I wander outside and head for home. Frankly, I don’t really have anything to do, yet reading does sound pretty good right about now. At least it’ll give me a chance to catch up on the history of Equestria. But that can only be entertaining for so long. Maybe watch some television again and try to find a decent show? Eh, I got time to decide later anyway.
I slam a book about the magical energies of Equestria shut. I can’t really concentrate when there’s some massive commotion going on outside! Can’t these ponies keep quiet for once?! I walk over to the front door and throw it open. “What in the hell is going on out here?!” I raise an eyebrow at Fluttershy and Twilight chasing after Philomena. I hear laughter to my right. I look to see Pinkie standing there, eating from a bag of popcorn. “Uh…”
She turns to me. “Oh, you’re just in time for the show!” She holds the bag out towards me. “Want some?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, why not?” I grab a handful and pop it in my mouth. Who needs television when I can find the best show right outside? Pinkie and I follow the chase as they weave through town, eventually heading towards town hall. Along the way, we managed to pick up Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow, who ran behind us. Out in front of town hall is a statue of an Earth pony, which Philomena climbs up on. I see Celestia standing nearby, watching the entire debacle before her.
Philomena sways on top on the statue before falling off it. Fluttershy dives to catch her before she hits the ground, but alas, it is too late. Philomena burns to ashes in midair, leaving Fluttershy to only catch ashes in her outstretched hands. All movement stops, surprise evident based on the looks of everyone’s faces. Well, except for Celestia and I. Fluttershy starts sobbing over the ashes, causing my own heart to pang with pain.
“Oh dear…”
Fluttershy looks up from her sobbing to see Celestia. She stands up and walks over to Celestia, her sobbing making it very hard to hear what’s she’s saying, though I do pick up sorry and my fault interspaced throughout.
Enough is enough. “Celestia!” All eyes turn to me. I motion towards the ashes. “May I?”
She nods her head. “Be my guest.”
“Thank you.” Walking over to the ashes, I stand there with my hands clasped behind my back. With a smirk, I whisper, “Play along.” Falling to my knees, I throw my hands up towards the sky. “Oh mighty Nine Divines! I beseech of you to bring back this wondrous creature to us, for it was taken too soon from this world! I ask of thee to heed my request, and I shall forever be in your debt! Make this creature arise from its ashes,” I stand up, “In a mighty blaze of glorious rebirth! Arise once more, Philomena, and rejoin us in the land of the living!”
The ashes burst into flames, the heat alone making me step back. As the ashes burn, a pillar of flame reaches up from them. Out of that pillar bursts Philomena, reborn in her younger glory when every feather was still on her, and her body was alight with flames. She takes to the air and circles above us while oohs and ahhs from the girls can be heard.
I hold my left arm out for Philomena to land on. A cooling sensation on my arm causes me to glance at it to see it surrounded with a light blue glow. “You’re welcome.”
I raise an eyebrow at Celestia. “For what?” Philomena lands my outstretched arm. Oh, so that’s what she cast. Even with whatever cooling spell Celestia cast, I can still feel some of the heat from Philomena. “Thanks, Celestia.”
“But I don’t understand! How is this even possible?”
I laugh. “For someone who spends her life reading from books, I’d assume you’d have heard of a phoenix before.”
Fluttershy slowly inches forward. “A phoenix?”
I glance at Philomena. “Yes, a phoenix. They look exactly as you see Philomena now, and have incredibly long lifespans. Once they near the end of their lifespan, well, you’ve seen what happens then. And once death reaches their doorstep, they burn to ashes. But from those ashes, a phoenix is reborn, effectively granting them immortality.”
“So all this time, Philomena was fine? It’s just a part of her life cycle?”
I look at Celestia. “It would seem you have trained Philomena in the finer arts of trolling.”
Celestia looks at Philomena. “Yes, it would seem she picked up some habits from me. Philomena, apologize.”
I hold my arm out towards Fluttershy. Philomena covers part of her face with a wing, making a cooing sound. Fluttershy smiles. “Oh, that’s okay. I just wish I knew sooner.”
“But I do hope you learned a lesson today, Fluttershy.” I chuckle. “Look at me, taking Celestia’s job.”
Fluttershy nods her head. “I’m sorry, Princess Celestia, but I should have asked before taking Philomena away.”
Celestia smiles, holding out her arm for Philomena to land on. “It’s quite alright, Fluttershy, but this could have been avoided if you had asked to take care of her in the first place.”
I clap my hands. “Alright, yeah, woo, crisis averted. My work here is done, so I’m gonna head on home, m’kay? See you all later then.” Ah, another successful lesson learned. Time to go home and celebrate another successful day of not screwing with the universe too much.