“Permanent Vacation”
Call of the Cutie or I Want a Tattoo on My Butt!
I slept like a log after the events of yesterday. Waking up feeling fresh and revitalized, I glance at my cut arm. Wow, that is some awesome healing brew Zecora has. The entire cut from yesterday is healed up to the point of leaving a faint scar. I poke the skin a few times just to see if I feel any pain, but feel absolutely nothing.
After eating breakfast and getting changed, I go into the spare room that I never really use. I always meant for it to be a spare bedroom or, if the situation ever came about, a child’s bedroom. It is roughly the same size as my room, just far dustier and in need of some cleaning. I leave and enter my room. Grabbing the bit pouch, I open it up and start counting how many bits I have left. Out of my starting total of three-hundred, I am now down to about a hundred. Okay, so I’m saving that till I get my next pouch. But if I want to speed my plan for the spare room along…
Throwing on some decent clothes, I go outside and head towards Sugercube Corner. Maybe the Cakes can offer me a job. Hey, at least it’s a step up from working at a fast food joint.
“Going from a fast food joint to a bakery. Our career is zooming! Next week, we’ll be working at a waffle house in Minnesota!”
I wave to a couple of ponies on the street before entering Sugercube Corner. No one is at the counter but a bell and note sit beside the register. I glance at the note to see that it says to ring for service. I go to ring the bell but stop, my hand hovering inches from it. I lean over the counter to look behind it, expecting to see Pinkie. Not seeing anybody, I lean back and ring the bell with confidence of not being surprised by Pinkie.
“Hiya, Blake!”
I yelp and spin around to see Pinkie standing behind me. I take a few deep breaths to calm my frantic heart. “Jesus, Pinkie, you really need to stop doing that.”
She giggles. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Anyway,” she bounces around the counter, “What can your good old Aunt Pinkie Pie get for you today?”
“First, you aren’t my aunt. Second, I’ll just have a cup of coffee. Lastly, I need to speak with Mister Cake.”
“Roger that! I’ll have the coffee faster than you can say Pinkie Pie!” She yells as she walks into the kitchen.
No way is she faster than that. “Pinkie—” Is all I manage to get out before Pinkie pops up from behind the counter with a cup of coffee, placing it on the counter.
“That’ll be six bits.”
“How… You… Huh… You know what, never mind,” I reach into my pocket and fish out the six bits, placing them into her outstretched hand, which she promptly deposits in the register.
“Thank you! I’ll be back with Mister Cake in a second.” She hums to herself as she bounces up the steps.
I slide into a corner booth and idly sip from my coffee. After a few minutes of waiting, Mister Cake comes down. The bags under his eyes, and his sluggish movement, tell me all I need to know right now. He slides in the booth across from me, trying his best to smile.
“What can I do for you today?”
“Actually, I’m here to ask that question to you. I’m looking for a little extra cash and was wondering if you needed some help today.”
His face immediately perks up. “Really?! You’d be willing to work today?!”
I’m no fool. I know when someone is desperate. “Of course I’d work today.”
“You’re hired! You’ll be helping Pinkie in the kitchen and serving the food during Diamond Tiara’s Cutecaeñera . I’ll pay you sixty bits by the end of the day.”
Being this desperate, let’s see how far I can push him. “Make it eighty and we have a deal.”
“Deal!” Damn, if he was going to be that easy, I should have asked for more. We shake hands and he heads back towards the stairs.
“Hey,” Mister Cake turns to face me, “Pardon me for asking, but why are you so desperate to hire somebody?”
He sighs but a content smile remains on his face. “It’s the missus. We’re expecting a child soon and I’ve been running myself ragged trying to take care of her and the store.”
“Oh, well, congratulations! Let’s hope the child turns out to savvy business owners like his or her mum and dad.”
“Thank you,” He yells down as he finishes climbing the steps.
I down the rest of the coffee before heading into the kitchen. Wearing a chef’s hat and apron, Pinkie is furiously baking tons of sweets. Wait, I never saw her come back downstairs. How is she in the kitchen? Nevermind, I had my coffee so I can pass this off to Pinkie being Pinkie.
Pinkie notices me. “Stop right there! You can’t come in here looking like that!” She places a hand on my chest and prevents me from coming in any further.
“Uh, what’s wrong with the way I look?” I glance down at myself. I don’t see what’s wrong with a green t-shirt and white cargo shorts.
She giggles. “Nothing, silly. You’re just forgetting the most important part of your outfit!” She reaches behind her and pulls out another chef’s hat and apron.
I smile and roll my eyes as I grab them from her. After putting them on, I follow Pinkie into the kitchen. “So, guess I’m your new partner for today.”
“Yeah, and it’s going to be totally amazing! We’re going to have so much fun baking cupcakes and cakes and cookies and donuts and—”
“Pinkie, your cupcakes are burning.” Not really, but this rant needs to stop now.
“What?!” She whips around to look at the oven but doesn’t see anything wrong. She laughs. “Sorry, Blake, I tend to get carried away at times.”
“Happens to the best of us. Never mind that though, we got baking to do!”
“Yeah! You mix that batter for the quadruple decker chocolate cake with cream filling,” She points to a large mixing bowl on the counter, “While I get to work on making more cupcakes!”
“Wait. We’re going to need an awesome soundtrack to accompany our baking!”
“Oh my Celestia, how could we forget the music?!” I turn my back to her and start mixing the batter. “Hey, Blake?”
I pause in my mixing to look at her standing by a radio on one of the counters nestled in the corner of the room. Her hand is hovering in front of the power button. “Yeah?”
She smiles. “Wub wub wub,” She says, her voice dropping slightly with each wub.
I immediately pick up on what she’s doing and smile back at her. “Drop that bass,” I say, dropping my voice low.
She hits the power button and our ears are blasted with the power of dubstep. We lose ourselves in the world of it and baking.
It was long, tedious work, but we managed to bake all the food for the party. Seriously, where do these ponies put it? We made two cakes, six dozen cupcakes, about thirty donuts, and three bowls of fruit punch.
Pinkie and I just finish hanging a banner congratulating Diamond Tiara on her Cutie Mark when I turn to her. “I think we did a perfect job. Wouldn’t you agree, my faithful assistant?” I look around at the decorating we did. It is a pretty simplistic decorating job, with balloons tied down at each table and streamers in a multitude of colors dangling from the ceiling.
“Yeppers! It’s looks superduperextrafuntasticamazing! And who said I was the assistant?! I’m the baker and store manager when Mister and Misses Cake aren’t here!” Pinkie laughs and I join in with her.
“So, when does this thing start?”
She looks at her wrist. I wonder what she’s looking at since there’s nothing there. Upon looking closer, I can see that she drew a watch in black marker on her wrist. She looks around before pulling out a marker. “Damn it, I need to get a new gem for this thing.” She draws a gem beside the watch. “Anyway, it starts in ten! Better get the food out here!”
“What are we waiting for? Let’s go!” We rush into the kitchen and carefully carry out one of the cakes, putting it on a table just as Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and a few other ponies I don’t know arrive.
We only have to get the last cake out when Apple Bloom walks in through the back door.
“Hey, Apple Bloom, what’s up?!” Pinkie says.
“Howdy, Pinkie. Howdy, Blake,” Apple Bloom says, but it’s directed more towards the ground than us.
Pinkie and I glance at each other. I whisper to her, “You cheer her up. I’ll take the cake out.” She nods and heads over to Apple Bloom while I carefully grab the cake. I cautiously carry it out, placing it by the register. Almost immediately, ponies start lining up for a slice of it. Since I’m still working here, I cut it and hand slices to everybody that wants one, or in other words, the entire building.
“Hello, Blake.”
I look up to see Twilight in front of me waiting for her slice of the cake. “Hey, Twi. What are you doing here?” I look down and realize that there’s only two slices left. Damn, that was fast.
“I came to enjoy the party like everypony else. Getting a Cutie Mark is an important stage in the life of a pony. As such, we bond together to celebrate this momentous occasion,” She leans in as I put a piece on her plate, “But I should be the one asking you what you’re doing here. Are you working here?”
“Yeah, but only for today. I need a little extra cash and Mister Cake needed the day off, so here I am.” I glance over Twilight’s shoulder. Turns out she’s the last one in line. Welp, time enjoy some of this cake I slaved over an oven for.
“Well, don’t work too hard,” She says, walking over towards an empty table.
“You do realize who you’re talking to, right?” I yell over to her. Grabbing a fork, I jam it into the last piece. Taking my first bite, I feel like I’ve died and gone to chocolate heaven.
“Did I miss out on all the cake? Shoot, ah knew I should have gotten here sooner.” I glance up to see Applejack standing before me with her hands on her hips.
“We baked extra. There should be a cake over there.” I point over to the table with the other cake. Wait, where is the cake? I know we put it on that table.
“What cake? I don’t see any cake.”
“Trust me, we baked two cakes. But I can’t fathom how we went through two cakes in less than,” I glance up at the clock, “An hour and a half.”
A record scratching causes everyone to look at the jukebox. Apple Bloom appears to have tripped and fallen onto the floor, bumping into the jukebox along the way. Almost instantly, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon appear.
“Well, well, well. Look what we have here. A pony without her Cutie Mark, unless she magically discovered her talent is tripping!” They both laugh at Apple Bloom, who has now buried her head into her legs.
Applejack starts to step forward but I place a hand on her shoulder. “Let’s see how this plays out.”
“But—”
“She’s not the only one without a Cutie Mark here.”
“How can ya be so sure?”
“Search your feelings, young one. You are the Element of Honesty after all.”
Applejack sighs. “Yer right, I can tell ya ain’t lying.”
“Blank flank, blank flank, blank flank!” Diamond and Silver chant.
“Hey! You got a problem with blank flanks?!” Everybody looks around for the source of the voice.
“She said, ‘You got a problem with blank flanks?!’” Even though Sweetie is trying to sound tough, she fails miserably with her squeaky voice.
Sweetie Bell, wearing a purple jacket and long, white skirt, and Scootaloo crawl out from under a table. The crowd parts to allow them easier access to Apple Bloom. They stand with their arms crossed in front of Apple Bloom.
“Uh, why are you standing up for this blank flank?”
“Hey,” I whisper in Applejack’s ear, “Where do these Cutie Marks appear?”
“You mean ya don’t know?” She whispers back.
I roll my eyes. “Different species, remember?”
“Right, sorry,” She places a hand on her hip, “They usually appear right here on our flanks. Why do ya need ta know?”
“Because of what I’m about to do,” I say, vaulting over the counter. I walk between the Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon, with my back to the Crusaders.
I cross my arms and look down at Diamond. Silver starts backing away from me. “Is there a problem here?”
Silver taps Diamond on the shoulder. “Uh, Diamond? Maybe we should—”
Diamond shoots Silver a glare that shuts her up immediately before turning her attention back to me. “Oh please, don’t tell me you’re sticking up for these blank flanks too.” Diamond crosses her arms and glares at me.
“Yes, I am. These three fillies have more in common with me than you all think.”
Diamond allows herself the slightest of smirks. “And what would that be? It can’t be that you don’t have a Cutie Mark.”
It’s now my turn to smirk. “Actually,” I turn and pull the side of my pants down just enough to let them see the lack of a mark on my hip, “I do believe that is the case.”
“And here comes the restraining order!”
I hear a collective gasp from the crowd. Pulling my pants back up, I just stare at Diamond Tiara. “But… How?!”
“I’m from a species that doesn’t get a mark to tell us what our talents are.”
“Then how do you know what your special talent is?” Sweetie asks me.
I tap my forehead. “We don’t. We just find something we like doing and remember it.”
“Well, these blanks flanks still haven’t figured out their talents!” Diamond shouts as Silver glances between me and Diamond.
“Ah, but you’re only looking at this like it is a curse.”
“What do ya mean?” I glance back at the Crusaders to see them staring at me with wide eyes.
“If I’m looking at this right, once you get your mark, you are stuck with that talent for life, right?” I ask the crowd in general, who nod back, “Then look at it this way. You have no idea what your talent is, which means that you get to experience the thrill of trying different things! In essence, you could be anything you want!”
“So you’re saying that I could get a flying Cutie Mark?!” Scootaloo says, her wings buzzing in excitement.
I shrug my shoulders. “Sure, why not?”
I back away as kids shouting out ideas swarm around the Crusaders while Diamond walks away to sulk with Silver not far behind. I feel a hand on my shoulder. Glancing back, I see the smiling faces of Twilight and Applejack.
“That was very sweet of you, Blake,” Twilight says as she takes her hand off my shoulder.
“Yeah, well, let’s just say they’re not the only ones who have been in a similar situation.” I shudder as the memory of being mocked in high school for not having the latest tech flashes through my mind.
“So, who are those other two fillies?” Applejack asks.
“The white one with the curly hair is Sweetie Belle, sister to Rarity, and the other one is Scootaloo.” I see Pinkie waving to me from the corner of the room. “Looks like I’m needed elsewhere. You girls have a pleasant day now.”
I walk over to Pinkie. “So, what’s up?”
“The party’s almost over! We need to clean up and store the excess food—”
“Cleaning up, got it.” Grabbing a trash can, I make my way towards one of the booths. Clearing it and a few other booths of plates and silverware, I reach the table where the Crusaders are. They are lightly munching on muffins when I walk up.
Apple Bloom looks up at me. “Oh, Blake! I’d like ya ta meet my new friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo!” She points to the respective pony after saying each name.
“Pleasure to meet you. In case you haven’t figured it out, my name is Blake.”
“Hey, thanks for sticking up for us earlier.”
“It was no problem at all, Scoots.”
“Hey, maybe he can help us out again!” Sweetie shouts.
I sit down in a nearby chair after clearing their table. “What seems to be the problem?”
“We’re trying to come up with names for our secret society,” Sweetie says with a smile on her face.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo facepalm. “Sweetie, the whole point of ah secret society is ta not tell anypony about it! Ya just did!”
“I did?” She thinks for a second then hangs her head, “I guess I did.”
“Hey, don’t sweat it. I won’t tell a soul.”
“Well, okay. Here’s what we thought of so far.” Sweetie slides a paper across the table to me.
Glancing at it, I can already tell every single one is bad based on the first two. Seriously, they actually have “The Three Fillies Looking For Their Cutie Marks” and “A Secret Society” as a name. “Well, they certainly are… unique.”
“You can say that again,” Scootaloo says, rolling her eyes.
I think for a second. “How about the Cutie Collection Crew?”
“The Cutie Chasers?” Apple Bloom suggests.
“The Filly Friends?”
Sweetie is staring off into space muttering crew over and over. “I got it!” She yells, slamming her hands down on the table.
We’re all staring at her. “Well?” Apple Bloom says, motioning with her hand to continue.
“Oh, right. How about the Cutie Mark Crusaders?!”
“Ah like it!”
“I don’t know what a crusader is, but it sounds awesome!”
“Then it’s settled. You three shall be named the Cutie Mark Crusaders, or the CMC for short.”
“Blake! Are you almost finished out there?” I hear Pinkie yell from the kitchen.
“Just a few more tables, then we’re good! Well, I’d love to stay and chat,” I stand up, “But I need to get back to work.”
“Okay! Thanks again for helping us!”
After clearing the rest of the tables, I head into the kitchen. Standing before me is Mister Cake and Pinkie. “Is everything cleaned up out there?” Mister Cake asks.
I hold up the trash can. “This should be the last of it.”
“Great, which means you’re done for the day. Thank you so much for helping out,” He hands me a pouch, “If you ever need any more work, let me or Pinkie know.”
“Yeppers! It was really fun working with you. I hope you come back again so we can bake some more!”
“Thanks again for giving me a job. You two have a wonderful afternoon.” I say as I walk out of the kitchen, then out onto the street. Welp, time to go home, eat, play video games, and sleep, in that order.