• Published 9th Oct 2014
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Permanent Vacation - Apple_Crack



I didn't ask for this, any of this. But now that I'm here, might as well make the most of it. But, why am I here? What purpose does my presence here serve to Equestria?

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Fall Weather Friends or Shameless AppleDash Shipping, Ho!

“Permanent Vacation”

Fall Weather Friends or Shameless AppleDash Shipping, Ho!

I awake with a groan since somebody is banging my front door like the world is going to end. Grumbling as I crawl out of bed, I shuffle to the front door. Opening it, I am greeted by Rainbow Dash, who is wearing a black long sleeve and dark blue sweatpants. I shiver slightly as a blast of cold air hits me.

“Blake, me and Applejack are having an Iron Pony Contest!”

I stare at her. “So, what’s this got to do with me? I was trying to sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Anyway, we need a judge and you’re closer than Twilight.”

I glance over her shoulder. “Rainbow, Twilight’s house is right behind you. How am I closer than Twilight? We live side by side!”

“Come on! Just do it already! We’re wasting time that I could be using to kick Applejack’s ass!”

I sigh. “Fine, fine. Just let me change, eat, and get a cup of coffee. It’s too early for this shit.”

“Fine! But hurry it up!” Shutting the door, I head to my room and change into a blue long sleeve with the words “I can’t say what I’m thinking right now” on it and blue jeans.

Heading into the kitchen, I grab a Pop-Tart and am just about to open the fridge when I pause and look at the table. Sitting on it is a steaming thermos of coffee and a little note beside it. Walking over, I pick up the note and read it.

“Good morning, Blake! I thought you might need this since Dashie and Applejack need a judge and we don’t want the judge to fall asleep cause if the judge falls asleep then we won’t know who won and that would terrible! Drink up and have fun! Pinkie Pie.”

How and why did she come into my house? You know what, fuck it. I give up. I should be mad but I’m not since it’s Pinkie being Pinkie. She was just trying to be a good friend. Besides, it’s not like she would do anything bad, right?

“You do remember Cupcakes, right?”

Maybe I should start locking my doors from now on. And sleep with a baseball bat. That has spikes on it. Yeah, that would work.

I hear more pounding on the door. “Come on! Let’s go already!”

Grabbing the thermos, I throw on a blue and white striped coat and head outside. Twilight, wearing a white jacket over a purple long sleeve and dark purple pants, is standing beside Rainbow.

I glance at Rainbow and scowl. “After waking me up and rushing me to go judge your contest, you still get Twilight?! I thought I was the closer one?!”

“Yeah, well, you were taking too long.”

“Um, guys…”

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before replying. “I should be angry, but I’m not. Since I’m up, might as well see this contest.”

Checking my mailbox and pocketing my royal stipend, I take a sip of coffee as we walk towards Sweet Apple Acres.


Rainbow leads us to a large open field at the back corner of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack is just finishing setting up the last of the barrels for the slalom course. She waves to us as we approach.

“Ya ready to lose, Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asks with a smirk.

“You ready to get beaten by yours truly?”

I roll my eyes as I walk towards a stump off to the left. Sitting on it, I watch as Applejack takes her position at the left end of the course.

Twilight pulls a stopwatch from a pocket on her jacket. “Alright, Applejack, you ready?” Applejack nods, “On the count of three then. Three, two, one, go!”

Applejack bolts off the starting line, easily weaving back and forth between the barrels. She’s only three barrels from the finish line when she bumps into the second barrel. She stumbles slightly but is able to stay upright and cross the finish line.

“Seventeen seconds, but you nudged the barrel so that’s a five second penalty.” I must admit, I’m impressed with her speed.

“Shoot. Still, twenty two seconds is a mighty respectable time.”

“Step aside! Let a real pony show you how it’s done. They don’t call me Dash for nothing!” Rainbow takes her place at the starting line. Turning her head towards me, she asks, “Can I get a cheer from my fan?”

“Woo. Yay. Go team.” Rainbow glares at me while Applejack is trying to hold in her laughter, “Sorry, I’m not awake enough to do a proper cheer, nor am I invested in this.”

“You ready, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow shakes her head and returns her focus to the course. “I was born ready!”

“Three, two, one, go!”

Rainbow bolts off the starting line, weaving in and out of the barrels with the most confident smirk on her face. Unlike Applejack, Rainbow avoids every barrel and crosses the finish line.

“Amazing! Sixteen seconds!” Okay, I’m truly impressed with how fast these ponies are.

“Told ya I’m fast!”

Twilight pulls out a rectangular object from another jacket pocket and starts tapping at it. Standing up, I walk over to see that it looks exactly like an iPod with a case to make it look like a book. “Alright, I have the scoreboard set up in my notes.”

“Great. Let’s get this show on the road!” My energy level is starting to pick up. I might actually enjoy this.


By around event ten, the pushup contest, both my energy levels and the crowd increased substantially. Twilight went to get Spike, so that left me in charge of counting how many pushups Rainbow and Applejack did.

“Ninety nine, one hundred, one hundred and one!” I shout as both of them struggle to even get off the ground at this point. Rainbow flaps her wings, allowing her to make one more pushup. Applejack flops to the ground, gasping for air.

“Aw yeah, I win again!”

“Ya cheated! So technically, I win!”

“Oh yeah?! Let’s see what the judge thinks!” All eyes turn to me.

“Did you agree before the contest that no wings were allowed?”

“No, but what’s that got ta do with this?”

“Since you didn’t officially declare the banning of wings and I’m the judge, Rainbow wins this one. Don’t get me wrong, if I wasn’t the judge, I’d side with Applejack on this one.” Hey, I’m not getting the blame for this. This is their screw up, not mine. Applejack and Rainbow glare at each other.

“Blake, what happened? Why does it look like Applejack and Rainbow Dash are about to fight?” I jump slightly at Twilight’s voice. I didn’t even hear her come up behind me.

“Look, I can’t take being the judge anymore. You’re the judge from now on.” As I walk by Twilight, I pat her on the shoulder.

“Wait, where are you going?”

“Home. Let me know who won tomorrow. That is, if you want to.”

“She’ll probably forget.”

I chuckle slightly as I head back into town.


As I pass through the market, I notice how eerily quiet it is. Sure, there are still one or two ponies here and there but not the normal hustle and bustle. Stopping in front of a large, dark brown building, I glance up at the sign with a quill and sofa on it. Hopefully, this place carries more than just sofas and quills. Pushing open the door, a little bell chimes above my head.

Glancing around, I notice that the entire building has a dull, dark brown color to it. What really drew my attention is the vast amount of bright colored furniture, which thankfully is more than just sofas. It truly is a smart move on the store owner’s part, drawing attention to the products and not the building itself.

“Welcome to Quills and Sofas! Can I help you find anything today?” A red stallion with a black mane wearing a grey suit asks me.

“Yeah, what do you have in the way of beds?”

“A wide variety, sir. Anything specific you’re looking for?” He asks, leading me towards one of the beds.

“Yeah, how about something designed for pegasi?” The owner swiftly changes direction.

“Certainly, sir.”

After much searching, I finally find the bed I’m looking for. It’s a twin size cloud bed with the frame painted in the colors of the Wonderbolts, with everything needed to build it except for the cloud itself. But damn, that three-hundred bit price tag is high! Guess that’s the power of promotional material. It is heavier than I thought, so I leave it with the owner when he assures me that he’d have it delivered tomorrow to my place. Thanking him profusely, I walk out the store.

“Incoming!” Wait, what?

CRASH

Groaning, I sit up and rub my head. “Why does the universe hate me so much?”

Hearing groaning coming from beside me, I turn my head to see the one and only Derpy Hooves in a bright yellow long sleeve and tan cargo pants. She sits up and looks around, spotting me. “Oh my Celestia, I’m so sorry!”

I stand up, brushing myself off. “Eh, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m so sorry! I get easily distracted.” I glance at her to see her left eye looking up while her right is looking to the right. She tries to stand up but flops back to ground when she puts pressure on her right leg.

I rush over to her side. “Are you alright? I didn’t do this, did I?”

“No, no, you didn’t do this. I injured my leg last week when I crashed,” She blushes and looks away, “And I’m kinda supposed to be relaxing at home on doctor’s orders.”

“Seriously? Come on then, I’ll help you home.” She grabs my outstretched hand and pulls herself up. Wrapping her arm around my neck and leaning against me, we shuffle down the road towards her home.

“You know, I think we didn’t get a proper introduction. My name is Blake.”

“Oh, you’re right! My name is Derpy Hooves.”

We shuffle in silence for a while longer till I can no longer resist the urge to ask about her eyes. But I gotta try to do it subtly. “So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s up with your eyes?” I mentally facepalm.

“Real smooth, dumbass. You use the word subtle, but I don’t think you know what it means.”

She sighs. “It’s a medical condition.”

“Oh. Have the doctors tried fixing them?”

She looks away from me. “They would, if they knew how.” I hear her sniffle slightly

“Look, I’m sorry if I’m pushing you too far. If you don’t want to tell me anything else, that’s fine.”

We keep walking down roads that Derpy points out for me. She doesn’t say a word, just raises a finger and points down a street. As I look around, I notice the buildings getting closer together and alleyways between them. Eventually, as we round a corner, she speaks up. “Most ponies just look at my eyes and think I’m stupid or that I crash because I can’t see straight,” she sighs before continuing, “but nopony ever asks me if I can see straight.”

“Well, can you see straight?” I look over at her to see her staring back. Well, not exactly since the whole eye thing.

“I can see perfectly fine. It doesn’t affect my sight, just the way my eyes looks.”

“You know, it wouldn’t matter if you could see straight or not, I’d be treating you the same no matter what. And for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“You really mean that?”

“Of course I do. I’ve learned to never judge people based on looks alone. Looking past your eyes, I can see a brilliant mind working overtime.”

“Thank you,” she blushes slightly and looks away. She point to a building where the door has three bubbles on the center of it. “This is my place.”

She opens the door and looks at me. “Think you can make it from here?”

She giggles slightly. “I don’t know. I might trip and fall before I reach the sofa.”

“Well then, as a gentleman, it is my duty to make sure you safely reach your sofa.”

Walking into her home and immediately hanging a left brings me to her living room. Taking a quick glance around, I see that the walls are painted in a shade similar to Derpy’s skin color. I help her lay down onto a cream colored sofa. Once she’s comfortable, she grabs the remote for the television. Turning it on, she flicks through the channels until she comes to the weather channel.

“Are you sure you’re gonna be alright?”

She waves a hand at me, never taking her eyes off the screen. “I’ll be fine.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I open the door to leave. “Wait.” I look over my shoulder to see Derpy poking her head over the sofa.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks again for helping me.”

“No problem, Derpy. Take care of yourself now.”

“I will! See you around town!”

Shutting the door behind me, I walk towards home. Maybe I can make it there without any further incidents today.


Waking up feeling refreshed, I go through my morning routine. I just finish placing my coffee cup and cereal bowl in the sink when knocking on the door draws my attention. Opening the door, I see Twilight with Spike on her shoulder.

“Good morning, Blake.”

“Morning, Twilight and Spike. What brings you around here?”

“Well, I was wondering if you wanted to enter the Running of the Leaves with me.”

I tilt my head. “The running of what now?”

“The Running of the Leaves. It’s a tradition where the runners run through the forest, the force of their running causing the leaves to fall from the trees. It’s my first year in Ponyville, and technically yours too, so I thought we could both be in it.”

“Ah, what the hell, I’m game.”

Twilight leads me to a dirt road at the edge of town where stands have been erected along the sides of the road. Ponies that are competing are stretching or talking to the other competitors. Off to the side, Pinkie is bouncing around a hot air balloon with a megaphone attached to the basket.

“There’s Pinkie! I’m gonna see if you’ll let me do the announcing!” Spike jumps off Twilight’s shoulder and sprints towards Pinkie.

“Come on, Blake. The registration stand should be over here.” I follow Twilight to a little stand near the back of the stands.

As it turns out, signing up is simple. All I have to do is put my name down on a scroll and grab a card with a number on it. Putting my John Hancock down, I step off to the side to allow others to sign up. Grabbing number forty-two, I turn to Twilight. “So, you ready to run?”

Twilight grabs a number off the table then turns to me. “I’m prepared. I’ve read plenty of books telling me how to properly run races.”

We head to the starting line to stretch. I notice Applejack and Rainbow Dash, with a rope that is tied around her and pinning her wings, arguing again.

“Hey, girls!” Applejack and Rainbow Dash turn to look at us.

“Twilight? What are you doing here? I mean, sure, I could see Blake here but you?”

Twilight rolls her eyes. “We’re here to partake in the Running of the Leaves. Since it’s our first year in Ponyville, I thought we could do it together.”

“You’re not the athlete, Twilight, you’re the, well, egghead!” Applejack snickers at Rainbow’s statement.

“I’m not an egghead! I’m well read!”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash share a knowing look. “And who told ya that? Ah book?”

“Why, ye—”

I interrupt Twilight. “Let me stop you right there before you dig your grave even deeper. Can’t you see that these two” I wave my hand at Applejack and Rainbow, “Are trying to goad you on?”

“Come on, Blake! Let’s us have our fun!”

I roll my eyes as I turn to Twilight. “Come on, we’ll show them how to truly run a race.”

“Racers, take your positions!” Pinkie yells into the megaphone from her vantage point above us. Around us, ponies start lining up.

“The race begins in five, four, three, two, one, and race!” Spike yells into the megaphone.

While the rest of the crowd sprints off the starting line, Twilight and I are lightly jogging so that we can still see the crowd but save our energy for the end. As everybody enters the forest, Twilight and I glance at each other and smile.

“Great minds think alike, no?”

“I couldn’t agree with you more, Blake.”

We continue jogging, taking in the scenery, when I notice Applejack trip and fall over a stump. The crowd rushes by her as we catch up.

“Damn it! Ah knew Rainbow would cheat!” She turns to us, “Ya’ll saw her do it, right?”

“Applejack, if you were paying attention, you would have noticed the stump that you tripped over!”

“Well…” She notices the crowd getting away, “Shoot, Ah need ta catch up!” She sprints off after the crowd.

Twilight and I continue jogging, sighing at the exact same time. We glance at each other and laugh. After some further jogging, this time I see Rainbow Dash trip over a root as the crowd rushes by her.

“Damn it, Applejack!” She yells, shaking a fist towards the crowd.

“Should we tell her?” Twilight whispers to me.

“Just follow my lead.”

Rainbow looks behind her and sees us. “Twilight, Blake! You saw—”

“You tripped over a root,” I say in a singsong voice as we jog past Rainbow, “And you’re in last place!”

Rainbow jumps up. “What?! No way is Applejack beating me!” She sprints by us towards the crowd.

“You know, I’m enjoying this a lot more than I thought I would.” I must admit that this is true. The bright orange and red leaves coupled with the shining sun above makes the land look like it is straight from a painting. It also helps that I am enjoying my time with Twilight, bonding over the beauty of nature.

“Me too, Blake.”

A while later, the forest starts to thin out around us and the crowd seems to be slowing down. Twilight and I glance at each other. “The finish line is coming up. Time for us to put all that knowledge on running races to use.”

“Let’s do it! Go Team Bookworm!” I yell as we break into a sprint.

“Team Bookworm!” Twilight yells with equal passion as we pass by most of the crowd.

Up ahead, I can see the finish line. Twilight and I pass by all the other racers, leaving us competing for first and second. I pull ahead slightly, only for her to catch right back up. We jockey back and forth between first and second as the finish line gets closer. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Twilight stumble slightly. Now’s my chance. Using the last of my energy, I push ahead just enough for me to take first as we cross the finish line.

We stand there panting for breath as the spectators cheer for us. Twilight and I look at each other and nod. Glancing behind her, I notice a lemonade stand set up with the Crusaders manning it. I motion for Twilight to follow me as we walk over to the stand.

“Great race, guys!” Scootaloo says.

“Thanks. So, you’re selling lemonade today?”

“Yep! We’re trying ta get our lemonade selling Cutie Marks!”

“Well, I would like to help in your effort. How much for a cup?” Twilight asks.

“Ten bits, please!” Sweetie Belle says.

“Why is the price so high?!” Twilight and I yell.

“Because we’re the only ones selling to the racers,” Apple Bloom smirks, “And when there’s no other seller, we get ta set the price.”

“You’re an evil little club, but that’s why I love ya!” I reach into my pocket and fish out the ten bits, handing them to Apple Bloom.

“Thank you, Blake!” The Crusaders yell in perfect harmony as Sweetie pours some lemonade into a plastic cup, which I take from her.

Twilight hands Apple Bloom her money as I take a sip. “So, how awesome does it taste?” Scootaloo asks.

I smack my lips together. There is no sweetness to it, only sour. Twilight takes a sip and nearly spits it out. “Uh, did you put any sugar in this?” She asks after swallowing.

“No. Were we supposed to?” Sweetie asks.

“Yeah, but I think it tastes great.” I down the rest of my drink and toss the cup in a trash can off to the side of the stand. Twilight hands me her cup and I down it too.

“How can you drink that? No offense, girls, but it needs sugar.”

I shrug my shoulders. “When you live with a family that puts sugar in everything, you kinda wean yourself off of it if you want to lead a healthier lifestyle.” I’m not kidding. My family puts sugar in almost everything. What kind of sane person puts sugar in chili?

“Hey! Numbers forty-two, ninety-eight, and three, get your cutie patooties moving to the podium for your shiny medals!”

“You heard Pinkie. Let’s get our medals!” Twilight and I wave to the Crusaders as we walk towards a three tier podium set up directly in front of the stands.

Ivory Scroll, still dressed in her suit, is already there, along with a mint colored unicorn wearing dark blue carpenter jeans and a blue and white striped jacket over a black shirt with a lyre in the center. Ivory turns to us. “Ah, Blake, Twilight, congratulations on taking first and second place.”

“Thank you, Mayor,” We both say.

“Now, if you please, take your spots on the podium and we’ll award you three.”

I climb up to the center tier and turn to face the crowd with Twilight on my left and the unicorn, who I assume is Lyra, on my right.

“Attention, everypony, attention! I would like to announce the top three finishers of this year’s Running of the Leaves!”

“Our first place finisher is Blake Quinter!” Ivory pins a gold medal with a design of a pony running between two trees as the leaves fall from them to my shirt. My hearing is drowned in a sea of ponies clapping. I cup a hand over my ear and lean out towards the crowd, urging them to cheer louder.

Once the cheering dies down, Ivory steps in front of Twilight. “Our second place finisher is Twilight Sparkle!” The crowd cheers as the mayor pins a silver medal to Twilight’s shirt. She blushes and looks away. Ivory then steps in front of Lyra. “And our third place finisher is Lyra Heartstrings!” Lyra waves to the crowd as the she pins the bronze medal to her shirt.

“Let’s hear it for our winners, everypony!” The crowd cheers as we all smile for a photo. After the photo, we step down from the podium.

“I won!”

“No, ah won!” Applejack and Rainbow argue over by the finish line, sweat dripping from their clothes.

“Actually, you both tied for last!” Pinkie yells down from her balloon.

“Tied for last?! Then who came in first?!” They both yell.

Twilight walks over to them. They both turn to her. “Twilight?!”

She smirks. “Actually, no. I got second place. Not bad for a mare that’s never ran a race before.”

“But… Who came in first?”

“You’re looking at him,” I say as I walk over to them.

They all turn to face me. “Blake?!” Applejack and Rainbow yell, the expression on their face a look of pure shock.

I start jogging in place. Placing two fingers on my neck and pretending to look at a watch on my left arm, I yell, “I’m not even winded!”

“But… how?” Applejack asks while she scratches her head.

“Twilight, if you would please explain our method.”

“With pleasure. It’s just like my book said, pace yourself. Take it nice and easy in the beginning, then when all the other racers are tired, you use your saved energy to pass the competition!”

“Maybe if you two weren’t so busy trying to get revenge on the other, you might have actually won,” I say.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight yells, causing all of us to turn around.

Celestia calmly walks over to us, ponies bowing to her. “Twilight,” Celestia embraces her in a hug, “Congratulations on finishing second. Did you enjoy your first Running of the Leaves?”

Twilight steps back from the hug, nodding her head. “Certainly! Having Blake with me made the experience more enjoyable.”

Celestia looks at me. “And I take it you enjoyed it as well, Blake?”

I nod my head. “While I’m not much of an outdoors person, I will admit I enjoyed spending time with Twilight.” I notice Twilight blush. I probably could have worded that differently, but alas, it is too late now.

“Wonderful. Did you learn anything about the magic of friendship today, Twilight?"

Twilight places a hand to her chin. “Yes,” She points to Applejack and Rainbow, “But I think they learned more about friendship than me today.”

“Hate to interrupt, but I’m gonna be heading home. If anybody needs me, you know where I live.”

“Okay. Thanks for coming, Blake!” Twilight yells as I walk away.

“Thanks for inviting me!” I yell over my shoulder as I walk back into town.


I reach the town square and sit on the edge of a large fountain outside of town hall. Ponies are busy hanging up decorations like spiders and ghosts. Glancing in to the fountain’s clear water, I see multiple bits at the bottom. Taking a bit out of my pocket, I casually flick it into the waters, watching it sink to the bottom of the fountain.

“Blake! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

I look away from the fountain to see Rarity, in a white button down jacket and dark blue jeans, walking towards me.

“What’s going on, Rarity?”

“For starters, I would like to congratulate you for taking first place.”

Man, word travels fast in this town. “Thanks, but I don’t think you wanted to tell me just that.”

“Of course not, dearie. I just finished your outfit for the Gala and would like your opinion on it. If you would be so kind as to accompany me to the Boutique?” Rarity holds out her hand.

I grab her hand and stand up. “Let’s get going then.”

I follow her to the Boutique. Upon entering, she magically pulls over a rack of clothes. Grabbing a black suit, she hands it to me. “You can change over there, dear,” She points to a privacy screen. “When you’re finished, come to my stage so we can get a proper look.”

I step out from behind the screen after tucking the shirt into my pants. “Oh my, that looks simply ravishing on you.”

Stepping up to the stage, I turn back and forth, getting a good look at the outfit. It fits perfectly; not too tight, but not too loose. It’s exactly what I wanted, but she went one step further and put gold cloth at the wrists and collar. Coupled with the black tie and white undershirt, I will admit that I look good.

“Please, we can make anything look good.”

“Well, what do you think?”

“Rarity… It’s amazing!”

“Wonderful! I just knew you’d love the little additions I made. Oh, we’re forgetting the most important part of your ensemble!” Her horn glows and, due to the reflection of the mirror, I see a black fedora with a white band around the center levitate off a table and over to me. Grabbing it, I put it on.

“Oh my! That looks simply ravishing on you!”

“Rarity, I don’t know what to say, other than thank you! Thank you so much for doing this! I hope it wasn’t too much trouble for you.”

“It was no trouble at all, dear.”

“You sure I don’t need to pay you anything for this?”

“Of course not. Consider it a gift from a friend.”

After changing, Rarity walks me to the door. As I start to step outside, she says, “In case I don’t see you tomorrow, have a wonderful Nightmare Night.”

I stop and turn around to look at her. “Nightmare Night?”

She tilts her head to the left. “Yes?” Her eyes widen, “Oh, that’s right. I keep forgetting that you’re not from here, terribly sorry about that. Any who, Nightmare Night is a celebration where everypony dresses up and goes around town asking for candy.”

“So, it’s kinda like Halloween. Well then, I know what I’m doing tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up, Rarity, and happy Nightmare Night if I don’t see you.”

“Anytime, dear.” She waves to me before shutting the door.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Dude, you’re a voice in my head. Whatever you think of, I’ll know about.”

“Oh, right… Do you agree on what or who we should go as?”

“Definitely. Come tomorrow night, we’ll have the best costume in town.”

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