//------------------------------// // First Impressions: The Mane 6 // Story: Permanent Vacation // by Apple_Crack //------------------------------// “Permanent Vacation” First Impressions: The Mane 6         I stand at the top of the steps, staring in shock at the sight before me. The Mane Six, in full view, staring at book floating in midair. Midair, completely defying gravity. I shake my head to make sure I wasn’t dreaming this. Nope, the girls are still there and that book is still floating. Okay, this isn’t a dream. After the shock wears off, I decide on a plan of action. Since I wasn’t restrained, the contents of my pockets emptied (I still have my knife and keys), and that the girls aren’t wearing the Elements, I wasn’t considered much of threat by them.         I have a clear path to the door of the library. I could escape and try to make it back home. But I had an entire flight of stairs to walk down and too far of a distance from the bottom of the steps to the door for me to cross without getting caught. So the only thing to do was to hide until I could make a clean escape. I slowly descend the stairs, keeping my eyes on the girls at all times. Once I reach the bottom, I spy a space between two bookshelves big enough for me to fit into. But to reach it, I’d have to turn my back on the girls and risk one of them turning around. I move as fast as I can towards the nook and slide in. I slowly exhale the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding in. I peek around the corner to see if I was noticed. That’s odd. I swear all of them were there just a moment ago. Where the hell is— “Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie! What’s yours? Are we playing hide and seek? I love hide and seek! Can I hide next? Pleasepleasepleaseplease?” I scream as I jump out from the nook and turn around to see Pinkie sitting on top of the bookshelf with the biggest grin ever plastered on her face and madly waving a hand at me. “Pinkie, get away from that thing!” Great. Thanks to Pinkie, I just alerted everybody to my location. I turn to see the girls darting their eyes between me and Pinkie. I freeze and stare right back at them. Now that I can see their faces, I’m shocked. I was expecting for their faces to be alien but if one shot them a passing glance, they might mistake them for human. “But Twilight, I wanna make a new friend and throw them my special ‘Welcome to Ponyville weird creature, I’m your first friend Pinkie Pie’ party!” “But we don’t know what IT,” Twilight throws a hand in my direction, “is capable of doing! Or even what IT is!” “But—” Twilight’s horn glows a bright magenta. Pinkie floats by my head with the same glow surrounding her and lands beside Twilight as the glow disperses. “Wee! That was fun! Let’s go again!” Twilight turns her attention back to me. I can feel the six pairs of eyes burning into my skull. I slowly move my hands up in the air and smile slightly. Hopefully they get the message that I don’t want to hurt them. They all glance between themselves. All except Fluttershy, who is staring at me. I should have known. The only person (Not sure if I should call them ponies or people. I’ll just stick with people for now until I find out just how much of them are human) most likely to get my message of peace would be Fluttershy. I stare at her, showing the biggest pleading eyes that I can muster. She smiles slightly and walks towards me, the clip clop of her hooves the only sound in the room. “Fluttershy, wait!” Twilight says. She ignores Twilight’s warning and is now standing right in front of me. She is about the same height as me. “You don’t want to hurt anypony, do you? You’re just a creature in a strange situation, aren’t you?” I smile slightly and place a hand on her shoulder, never breaking eye contact. She flinches slightly but doesn’t resist. Okay, I’m actually touching Fluttershy so this is no dream. I glance at the rest of the girls to see them staring at us. I lean in close to her ear and whisper, “You’re right. I don’t want to hurt you. So would you mind telling your friends that?” I take my hand off her shoulder and walk towards the sofa, sitting right in the middle of it. Fluttershy nods her head and says, “It’s alright. They won’t hurt you.” She walks over and sits down beside me. She then beckons for the rest of the girls to come over. They slowly walk over, still looking amongst themselves, and sit down in the other chairs. “If Fluttershy trusts you, then I guess we have to,” Twilight clears her throat before continuing. “My name is Twilight Sparkle and these are my friends—” I raise my hand to stop her. It occurs to me that I shouldn’t reveal that they are a TV show, or are very similar to a TV show where they are ponies, so I have to act dumb about certain things. After all, who knows how they will take it? But it doesn’t mean that I can’t have some fun. “Don’t tell me. I’ll figure it out for myself.” Everybody except for Fluttershy gasps. “How can you speak Equestrian?!” Twilight asks. Fluttershy looks at me then at the girls. “Oh my, you can understand it? I thought only I could.” “It’s speaking perfect Equestrian! How is that possible?! My books make no reference to this creature and now it speaks Equestrian!?" “No, you’re speaking English.” Before they can ask any more, I point to Applejack. “Your name has something to do with apples based on that apple design on your clothes. So I’m gonna guess that your Apple… Jack?” The expression on her face said it all, a mixture of surprise and suspicion. “How’d ya know?” “Easy. The apple design on your clothes and you’re wearing a Stetson which means, to me at least, southern or western ancestry. And I’m really craving a bottle of Jack Daniels right now, so I went with Applejack. Anyway, back to the name game.” Pinkie opens her mouth to say something but I raise my hand to stop her. “And no, Pinkie, you can’t play this game with me. But we will play a different game later,” I say, Pinkie nodding her head in understanding. I point to Rainbow Dash. “Your name is Rainbow Dash.” She bolts in front of my face and hovers there. “How’d you know that? Are you a spy?!” There is so many things I want to say right now but can’t. I place my hand on her face and push her away. “First off, take a breath mint,” everybody giggles at my joke, “Second, the rainbow mane hence Rainbow. Lastly, you look like you’re built for speed so I took a guess with Dash.” She crosses her hands and looks away as she lands back in her chair. “Lucky guess,” she mumbles before breathing into a hand and sniffing. “And I don’t need a breath mint!” I then point to Rarity. “I’m having a hard time coming up with your name but those diamonds on your clothes are hard to come by where I’m from so I’m guessing that you’re Elusive?” I had to get at least one name wrong to throw off suspicion. “Close, dearie. My name is Rarity, owner of Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique, and magnifique. Charmed to meet you.” I nod my head. “That was going to be my second guess. Anyway, I know the rest of you because you already told me or you already said each other’s names.”  I could still sense some uneasiness between the girls because they kept looking between themselves. I’d probably be doing the same thing if I was on the other side. I mentally sigh. I would need to gain their trust somehow. Twilight was the first to speak. “You know about us. But we don’t know anything about you. So tell us, what is your name?” “My name is Blake Quinter, but call me Blake, from a place called Earth. I am what is known as a human.” “Okay, Blake, where is this Earth place? I haven’t seen it on any maps of Equestria,” Twilight asks. “Hell if I know. According to where I’m from, talking people with horns, wings, and skin colors like yours shouldn’t even exist.” “So you’re not from Equestria?” “I could be from another planet or universe.” “This is amazing! An entirely new species that could be from another world or universe!” Twilight levitates a scroll and quill over to her. “Tell me everything! Like what your job is! Or your education level!” I pretend to stare at the quill and scroll as they hover there, laughing slightly. “Alright, how are you doing that? Where are the wires?” Twilight looks between me and the items. “You never saw magic before?” “Magic? You mean like spells and charms? No way. The only magic I’ve ever seen is fake and is meant for nothing more than entertainment value.” “How can you possibly live in a place without magic?! It must be dreadful!” Rarity says. I roll my eyes. “We’ve been doing fine without magic for centuries. Judging by the way society is now, I say we’ve turned out just fine.” “As you can see, unicorns such as Rarity and I can manipulate the magical energies of Equestria by focusing on a specific event and channeling it through our horns.” Wow, I honestly think that’s the first time Twilight ever gave a simple explanation for anything. “I still find this all hard to believe but I’ll go along for now. Back to the topic on hand, my highest level of education is a college graduate. I tried getting a job at an IT company but ended up working for a fast food joint,” I pause for a second. “Please tell me you guys have fast food places.” “You mean like Hay King on the other side of town?” Rainbow asks. “Do they serve things like burgers and fries?” Rainbow nods her head. “Then that’s exactly what I mean.” I place my hand down on my leg and wince slightly in pain. In an instant, Fluttershy is hovering over my leg. “Are you alright? Do I need to apply more ointment? Do I need to change—” I hold my hand up to stop her. “It’s fine, really. Still a little sore from this morning. I suppose I should thank you for healing me.” She blushes slightly and hides behind her mane. “I could never leave an injured creature alone.”  “What in the hay exactly happened to ya this morning?” “Well, I woke up in my house which is now sitting somewhere in that forest on the edge of town—” “The Everfree Forest!” They all gasp. “Yeah, that place. Anyway, I ran outside my home and was attacked by a manticore,” Again they all gasp, which is really starting to get annoying. “It stung me in the leg with its tail. I cut the tail slightly and that somehow scared it off. I’m not questioning it. I’m just happy to be alive.” “How could you hurt that poor creature?” Fluttershy says, her eyes wide open. “It was either me or him, and frankly, I prefer to have my organs safely within me. Don’t get me wrong, I hated doing it but my need for survival overcame my beliefs.” Besides, I thought to myself, she should know how a creature reacts when cornered and afraid… Not that I was afraid… Fluttershy opens her mouth but is interrupted. “Come on, Fluttershy. You can’t believe him,” Rainbow points at me, “You don’t have any claws or talons. You couldn’t have cut it!” Rainbow crosses her hands and smirks as she leans back in her chair. “Oh, really?” I say as I reach into my pocket and pull out my knife. “Behold my mighty weapon!” I flick the blade up. I silently laugh to myself as they stare wide-eyed at the dull, metal sheen of the blade that now has caked blood on it. “I-I-is that blood?” Fluttershy stammers from beside me. “Yes. This is what I used to cut the manticore with,” I say, flicking the blade back down and replacing it in my pocket. My stomach growls, snapping them out of their trances. “So, anybody got any food around here?” I lick my lips, “And how about something to drink?” Twilight glances nervously at me. “Uh, sure. What would you like?” It’s probably for the best if I don’t bring up meat in front of them. “I could go for an apple right now and a glass of water will do.” “Hang on a moment. Spike! Spike!” The door to the basement opens up and out steps Spike, who surprisingly doesn’t look any different from the show, rubbing his eyes. “Come on, Twilight. Let me sleep in peace. It’s bad enough that I have to sleep in the basement with that thing…” He stops rubbing his eyes and looks directly at me. I smile and wave. “Ah! Get behind me! I’ll protect you girls!” He yells, running in front of Rarity and putting his claws up. Though he is doing his best to hide it, I can see the fear in his eyes. “Don’t worry Spike. I wouldn’t harm any of you.” His eyes go wide and he lowers his claws. “It can talk?!” “I have a name ya know.” “Spike, his name is Blake. Would you fetch a glass of water and an apple for him, please?” “Uh, sure thing Twi,” he says as he walks towards the kitchen, glancing back at me. He returns a few moments later carrying said items. He hands them to me and we sit in silence, everybody watching me eat. I get down to the core and toss it on the ground. “Ain’t ya gonna eat the rest?” Applejack asks. “No, because I’m unable to.” “Why? It looks like ah perfectly good apple ta me.” “Because my body can’t digest certain things and this apple core is one of them.” Seriously, how much of their bodies are equine if they can eat an apple core? “Really? What else can’t you digest? Can you explain your digestive system for my notes?” Twilight asks, the quill furiously writing out what I said. “The list is too long for me to describe and I’m not a doctor so no, I can’t explain it to you.” “Drat. I was hoping that I could get more info before sending this to the Princess. Spike, would you be so kind?” “Sure Twi,” Spike said, taking the scroll in his claw and breathing a green flame onto it, leaving the room smelling slightly of sulfur. It burned into a purple aura and flew out an open window. “We shouldn’t have to wait long for her reply,” Twilight said. “Wait, what just happened and who are you talking about?” I knew full well what was going on but still had to play dumb. “Oh right, sorry. Equestria is ruled by Princess Celestia and the recently returned Princess Luna,” Twilight said while I replayed the last part of her sentence in my head. If Princess Luna recently returned then that means that I’m somewhere between the second episode and third episode of the show. “I’m her personal protégé and Spike here has a magic connection to her, allowing us to communicate across vast distances.” With that, Spike clutched his stomach in pain and burped out green flames and a scroll. Twilight levitated the scroll in front of her and read it for the rest of the room. “My most faithful student, I thank you for providing some details of this creature. I would like to personally speak with it but am tied up at the moment with day court.” Twilight blushes slightly. “Whoops, I forgot that she was in court.” She goes back to reading the scroll. “When I’m able, my sister and I will arrive to see this creature for ourselves. Princess Celestia.” “Well, no sense waiting here. I’m getting back to my house,” I say as I shakily stand up. “But you’re in no condition to travel! What you need is plenty of rest,” Fluttershy says, stepping in front of me. “I’m going to my house and that is final. I should still have something to ease the pain in my medicine cabinet.” “Oh, okay.” She hangs her head down and lazily draws a circle on the floor with her hoof. I sigh. She’s the only one to open up to me the most yet is still too shy to ask me a simple question. “Fluttershy, would you like to come with me?” She tries to hide behind her mane. “Yes please. If that’s okay with you.” “Of course, Fluttershy. Besides, on the trip there, you can tell me all about your animal friends.” “Oh, that would be wonderful.” Twilight decides to interrupt and be the killjoy… Again. “I don’t know Fluttershy. We don’t know what his place looks like. And you saw that knife. What if he has more of them? Or other dangerous items?” “But Twilight, I thought you wanted to study me for your princess?” I say. “Yes but—” “Come along then. I can show you some of my life when we get there.” Twilight sighs. “Fine. Lead the way,” She levitates a purple (Of course) backpack with her cutie mark on them over to her “Take care of the library while I’m gone, Spike.” I turn to head out the door. THUMP “Fuck!” I say, clutching my head in pain from walking into the wall. I hear gasps behind me and I turn around. Everybody is staring at me. “What? Please tell me you’ve heard swearing before.” “Well, yes but…” Twilight motions with her head towards Spike. “Oh right, sorry. I’ll keep it check around the little ones.” I step outside. And so, with six anthro ponies following me, we leave the library in search of my home. As we walk through the town, many of the townspeople stare at me. They give me a wide berth. Some even run into houses and lock the doors. I’m sure Twilight will explain later but right now, I have a mission. I manage to lead us back to where I entered the town from the forest. Turns out I walked right past Sugercube Corner and didn’t realize it. I stop when we reach the edge of the forest and everybody bumps into me. I turn around and scan the sky. “Beg pardon, dear, but what exactly are you doing?” Rarity asks. “From my house, I spotted a flag and headed in the direction of it. I’m looking for it and I’ll move away from where it is in a straight line, thereby retracing my steps,” I reply. “Or we could, you know, follow your hoofprints,” Twilight says. I turn around and look at the spot of ground Twilight is standing by. Sure enough, there is a footprint in the ground. It looks like the ground was soft enough for me to leave an impression. “Or we could do that,” I cross my arms across my chest. “My plan was still better though.” After a short nature walk, and a very detailed description of Fluttershy’s animal friends from her, we arrive at my home. “It looks so… boring,” Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes at my abode. “As the saying goes, it’s what on the inside that counts.” I walk up to the door and pull my keys from my back pocket. I unlock the door and step off to the side, bowing with my hand extended towards the door. “Ladies first.” “My, such a gentlestallion.” Rarity said, batting her eyelashes at me as everypony heads inside. “Like I always say, chivalry isn’t dead as long as I’m still around.” I follow them into my living room. They stare at the décor which consists of a few family photos, a couple of plants, a sofa, and a thirty-two inch flat screen (Screw you, Rent-A-Center! Now I can’t make those payments!) on top of a TV stand. I take my boots off and place them to the side. I hear the soft clop of hooves follow me as I head down the hallway to my room. I pause outside my door. “Now, for my privacy and yours, I ask that you wait out here while I change.” I open the door and walk in, slamming it shut behind me before they can answer. I flick the light switch and am surprised to find that the lights work. I then notice that my clock is working again. I look at my computer and the battery light is lit. How is the power even working? There are no electric lines to power this stuff. I notice a small gem sticking out the side of the computer. The same thing is on every electric device around the room. I make a mental note to ask Celestia about this as I undress, tossing my clothes onto a pile in the corner of the room. I search through my dresser for anything to wear. Settling on a pair of cargo shorts and a Doctor Who t-shirt that says “Keep Calm and Don’t Blink”, I then open my door and walk over to sit down at my desk as the girls file in. They start examining everything I have. Twilight rushes over to my bookshelf. “Books?! You read books?! And you have them organized by title?!” “Yeah.” “Could I borrow some of them?” “I’ll let you read them but they don’t leave this house. Got it?” Twilight just nods her head vigorously and levitates out one of my Dick Francis books, Longshot. “Great. Another egghead,” Rainbow says from the corner of the room. Pinkie is poking my bed with a hand and watching it ripple. I’m just about to tell her it’s a water bed when she jumps up in the air and yells, “Cannonball!” “No! You’ll pop the bed!” She stops in midair inches above the bed, so close that her tail is touching the sheets. “Oh, okay! Soft cannonball!” She slowly lowers herself onto the bed. “Who’s this here Batman fella?” Applejack asks, pointing at my poster of the cover of Batman: Arkham City. “He’s a fictional superhero who fights crime using technology and his wits.” “H-h-he looks scary.” Fluttershy said from behind Applejack. “That’s the point. He dresses like that to strike fear into the hearts of his enemies.” “Speaking of fashion choices, this wardrobe has a certain… style to it.,” Rarity said, opening and closing my dresser drawers. “Hey, fashion is not what I know. What I know is technology.” “I’m sure with a few adjustments, this wardrobe would look simply fabulous.” “So,” I clap my hands together, eager for a change of subject, “Who wants to see a video game?” Pinkie throws her hand in the air and starts bouncing in place (Really hard to ignore the fact that each bounce draws my attention to her… assets. I gotta get my mind out of the gutter), somehow getting off the bed with me not hearing or seeing it. “I do! I do! Pick me! Pick me! Are they fun? Of course they’re fun. What game wouldn’t be fun? I mean that would—” I tune out her voice, which is harder than I imagined, and turn on my Xbox 360.  I remove Red Dead Redemption and replace it with Guitar Hero: World Tour. Afterwards, I head over to my closet to grab the guitar controller. “What kind of arcade system is that?” Twilights asks over the sound of her quill flying across the scroll. “Arcade system? You guys must be living in the stone ages. It is an Xbox 360, a more advanced gaming system that allows me to play games through the use of my TV.” “Amazing,” I hear Twilight mutter.  “Xbox, play Guitar Hero: World Tour.” Did I mention that I have the Kinect? Yeah… something that I’m not proud of but still need to mention here. As the game fires up, the girls gasp while I plug in the controller. “How—” “That little bar right there with the red light.” “So, what’s the guitar for?” Rainbow Dash asks, hovering in front of the guitar. “This is what allows me to play this game,” I say as I navigate the main menu. “It’s a music game so I figured I’d show you two things, advanced video games and human music.” After selecting my custom character, which Rarity had to comment on how the clothes could be improved with a few simple modifications, I get to the song list. I think for a moment on what song to choose. I turn my head to look at the girls, hoping one of them would give me some inspiration. My eyes settle on Applejack. “Uh, Blake? What are ya staring at me for?” I shake my head. “Sorry, looking for inspiration on what song to play and you just helped me.” I search through the list until I get to Sweet Home Alabama. I tap my foot along with the beat as I flawlessly hit the notes. Just to show off how good I am, I turn my back to the screen and walk over to my window.  I still haven’t missed a note as I look outside the window. Even through we’re in my home, I still get a sense of dread that the manticore from earlier is going to come back for revenge and my home won’t be enough of a defense from it. But I have something special for him if he decides to come back…  I shake my head and turn back to the game. By now, everybody is dancing along. Applejack has really gotten into the swing of things and Twilight… I don’t think I can call whatever she’s doing as dancing. Seriously, it looks like she’s having a stroke or a seizure. As the song finishes, I take a bow. My ears are greeted by excited cheers and hooves stomping the floor. I stand back up and smile. “That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow says as she hovers in front of my face. “While I’m not one for country, I must say that that song was wonderful.” Rarity chimes in. “Can you play another song? Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?” Pinkie said, bouncing in place. “Alright, one more song.” “YAY!” Five songs later, everybody is still impressed. But it is taking its toll on me. My hands are sweaty and I am hungry. “Alright, that’s enough for one day,” I say as I hit the power button on the Xbox and place the controller on my bed. “Let’s get something to eat.” I walk to the bathroom at the other end of the hall. I point to my left. “I’ll be along shortly. The kitchen is on the right.” They all nod as I step into the bathroom to heed the call of nature. After washing my hands (mental note, how do I have running water?) , I head for the kitchen. “Alright, so who’s…,” I stop myself. I sniff the air a few times. Fresh baked cupcakes?  I enter the kitchen. All the girls are sitting at the table eating cupcakes while Pinkie pulls out another tray. “How... You… Cupcakes…,” I sigh and shake my head as the girls turn to look at me. This is going to be another one of those Pinkie moments. “You know what, never mind. It’s better if I don’t ask how you baked these so fast.” I head over to the fridge and grab a Coke. Then I sit down at the table and grab a cupcake. Taking a bite, my taste buds are instantly swarmed with flavor. The softness of the cupcake combined with the rich flavor of the icing and the warmth of a fresh batch sends a shiver down my spine. “Oh God, this is the best cupcake I’ve had in ages!” I scarf the rest of it down and pop open the Coke, taking a few swigs. We eat in joy as I scarf down three more cupcakes. We finish up eating just as the sun starts to set behind the treetops. Twilight’s eyes widen. “Oh no! I promised the Princess that we’d be back in time to meet her! We’re behind schedule!” I stand up from the table. “While you worry about that, I’m going to take some meds for the pain.” I walk out of the kitchen and return to the bathroom. I search through my medicine cabinet for aspirin. Not the strongest drug, I know, but the most basic for pain in general. I find the bottle and pop it open, taking two tablets from inside. I replace the bottle back in the cabinet as I swallow the pills. I head into my room and grab my knife, then return to the kitchen to find everybody ready to go. Wordlessly tilting my head over to the front door, I flick the light switch in the kitchen to off as they file out. I open the door for them and slip on my boots. I finish tying them and grab my jacket and keys, following them outside. Locking the door behind me, we make the trek back to town. The trip back was uneventful as we enter the edge of Ponyville. By now, the sun has set and the moon was high in the sky, creating a natural light. As we neared the library, Twilight started reciting to me a checklist of proper procedures for meeting the Princesses. “Rule one, be polite. Rule two, never bring up Nightmare Moon unless asked to do so. Rule Three—” “Eh, I’ll just wing it.” I say, pushing open the library door and stepping inside. Winging it has worked before for me so why wouldn’t it now? Standing on the other side of the library is Princess Celestia in a shimmering white dress with golden streaks that seemed to sparkle with each movement. That mane is just so… magnificent. It’s like the wind blows through it every waking moment and that the sun itself glistens through it. It reminds me of home for some reason. I’m shaken out of my trance when I hear Twilight. “Princess!” Twilight exclaims as she walks up to her mentor and embraces her in a hug. I must have missed the girls come in behind me since they all are standing in front of me bowing towards Celestia. “Twilight, my most faithful student. So wonderful to see you again,” Celestia says, hugging Twilight then lifting her hand towards the rest of the girls. “Hey, where’s Princess Luna? Wasn’t she supposed to be here?” Rainbow asks as everybody gets up from bowing. “Princess Luna will not be joining us tonight. She wishes to reacquaint herself with the castle and our speech patterns,” Celestia then turns her attention to me. “I see that our guest is alive and healthy.” She moves towards me as everybody else rearranges themselves to stand behind her. As she comes closer, I notice that she is far taller than me. “Greetings, Blake. My name is Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria along with my sister, Princess Luna, in the fine lands of Equis. On behalf of Equestria, I bid you welcome.” I know I’m supposed to make a good impression and be polite but come on, how many times can I say that I got to troll a troll? I mentally picture myself rubbing my hands together and laughing manically. This is going to be fun.