Never the Final Word (Vol. 2)

by FanOfMostEverything

Georg's Raid-iate the Fridge (FoME's "The Flavor Cosmic")

Author's Note:

[Slice of Life][Comedy]

This is riff on FanOfMostEverything's "The Flavor Cosmic" (691 of 36,237 words in its anthology, [Slice of Life],) set in the same Equestria as Georg's The Substitute Librarian (74,079 words, [Slice of Life])

THE SPOILERS COSMIC: Twilight Velvet has an... interesting short list of preferred grocers. This gave her daughter some unusual expectations in her first days in Ponyville.

THE SUBSTITUTE SUMMARY: The trials and tribulations of the stallion who has to fill in for Twilight Sparkle when she's busy saving the world. (A stallion who, in a different timeline, would've married her.)

The substitute librarian strolled back into the library's kitchenette to grab a snack before bedtime, because the mission that had sent the Bearers off in such a hurry had caught him just before dinnertime, and being teleported from Canterlot to Ponyville by an uncommunicative Royal Guard had not left him with any time to grab take-out. Opening the icebox, he meditated upon the contents within, like thousands of other male ponies when faced by the need to provide their own sustenance.

"Let's see," he mused, looking over the neatly labelled contents in the light of the icebox, "we have Entropic Chili, leftover Unfathomable Casserole with carrots, Indescribable Salad, Quantum Stewed Rutabaga, Non-Linear Asparagus..." Ever so slowly, the substitute librarian backed up and allowed the icebox door to close on its own.

That's not the icebox light glowing. It's the contents.

He stood there for a long moment, weighing his hunger against his common sense, then turned to the stove.

"Guess I'll just have to cook up some Raman noodles instead."

Comments

[FanOfMostEverything]

Unfortunately, Twilight only had Riemann noodles. Emerald spent the better part of an hour trying to figure out the heating instructions.

[Emil]

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Emerald looked at the two identical, if unusually shaped, packets of instant ramen. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, then reopened them to see the same impossible sight. Two brightly colored spherical packages of ramen, with the splashy advertisement of "Real Neighponese Miso Flavor- It's All Inside The Ball!" on the wrapper, underneath the manufacturer's logo. On the other hemisphere were some rather detailed instructions.

He mentally reviewed the past 30 seconds. After he had the pot of water boiling, he had removed the ONE packet of ramen from the cupboard, followed a few strange instructions about tearing the wrapper and rotating the package in specific ways...and now there were two identical packages of ramen on the counter.

Emerald picked up the new package and read the instructions. They were identical to the initial package's. He performed the strange ritual again. Three packets of ramen sat in front of him.

He took a close look at the logo and sighed as he ripped the third packet open and tossed the ball of dried noodles into the boiling water. "Well, if this Banach-Tarski ramen tastes good, I'll need to look into where to order it."

The noodles tasted wonderful.

[Cerulean Blue]

Schrödinger's pasta can either be filling or tasty, but you only find out when you eat it.

[WanderingPony]

>Raman noodles

Well, at least Twilight can laze em for a few minutes to cook molecule by molecule...

[Raging Mouse]

I bet Celestia taught Twilight how to brew some Russell tea.

[Georg]

And as a bonus, the calorie content divides with the number of decompositions to help poor Emerald's constant fight against the pudge. (A natural result of Gamps Law of Elemental Transfiguration, known to any magical student.)