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Codex Ex Equus


The writing account of Deus Ex Equus.


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Princess Celestia has been in love with Twilight Sparkle for years. The rescue of her sister had been the start, but since then Twilight has saved Celestia, Luna, and their kingdom countless times. However, Celestia's true feelings have remained hidden, even from herself.

That is, until the day her love is revealed to her through a dream. But Celestia is determined to keep her feelings to herself. She has no idea how Twilight will react, and would prefer things remain they way they are, with the two Princesses as friends.

Unfortunately, Luna immediately finds out. A small group of ponies is quickly gathered, all with one goal: to force Celestia to confess her feelings and end her thousand-year relationship drought.

This causes so much chaos that Discord goes on vacation and will not be appearing in this story.

---

Edited by ShutterflyYay from chapter four onward.

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 620 )

“Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!”

*snickers*

Hmmm i'm liking this amount of Twilestia coming out.

Looking forward to seeing how this develops.

I'm ready you guys ready for one hell of a ride

This causes so much chaos that Discord goes on vacation and will not be appearing in this story.

You got me hooked right there. This is going into my "Read when completed" Pile. I hope for the best.

Not usually one for Twilestia, teacher/student relationships creep me out, but given who is writing this I'm willing to go along for the ride as it is certain to be hilarious.

Twilestia usually isn't my thing, but the promise of shenanigans has me intrigued. I look forward to see what comes of the bookworm and the crap-screamer.

7181472 You are betraying your name... almost.

That was a sort of roller-coaster first chapter. Hmmm... but I'll track it. Want to see where this goes, given how brilliant "Changeling Courtship Rituals" was.

Oh dear, this looks like it will be Chineighs interesting, before long. :rainbowlaugh:

Not a fan of Twilestia, always seen them having more of a mother-daughter relationship (I'm more of a TwiLuna guy). But you did write CCR, so I can guess at what to expect from this...

And it will be glorious! :rainbowlaugh:

7181634
Most everything. I'm allowed to dislike some things.

7182629 Yes, but Twilestia is not one of them. It's the first ship in the fleet, we witness it even before any other. I'm afraid you'll have to change your name to FanOfSomeThings now.

Welcome back to "Fimfiction: The Abridged Series"; now with 100% more mood whiplash.

7182629
Personally, I just always find it vaguely creepy. It just gives a whole new meaning to "cradle robbing." Celestia knows Twilight since she was practically an infant. The beginning of the story even puts emphasis on how lengthy their relationship has been. Something just isn't right about that. There's a reason why teacher-student relationships are frowned upon in the real world.

Doesn't mean it may not still be an interesting story - and it certainly started out funny enough - but still kind of deserved saying.

way to go luna for help your sister figure out her own feelings, but my question is, at what point in timeline does this happen, ie after twilight gain her wings?? after twilight get the castle?, after starlight become twilight student?? or does this happen after the GGG??? or right after luna become free??

7182948 agree, it as if the princess choose twilight to be her mate, and groom her to fulfill this single role.....

7182470 is large fan of twiluna and moonlight, and I agree with you that I view those two as more of mother/daughter then lovers but there are few good ship of these two that are good.

So when did Tia's dream start?:rainbowhuh:

I was not expecting the emotional rollercoaster of feels this first chapter took me on.

Interesting start.

Normally, I have a very hard time suspending my disbelief when it comes to either Twilight or Celestia (or any pony, really) suddenly coming to the realization that they are in love with the other just for the sake of the ship. I was glad to see that this story not only starts with an interesting dream sequence that draws in the reader, but also justifies Celestia feelings (and subsequent disbelief) right out the gate. And not just a simple "I love you because x reason" but to actually show the range of emotions she felt for Twilight, without the plot dragging on and on explaining it. Well done.

7183480
The world may never know...

7183306

Right now it takes place in a vague 'after season four' time. Twilight has her wings and castle, but other than that there's no hard time assigned to anything in the story. Given that I currently have 4-5 planned stories in this series, with a lot of major characters appearing, I'm keeping my options open.

The term for what I'm doing is 'floating timeline'. Think of The Simpsons - the shows been going for thirty years, and just kind of updates with modern times and events while keeping everything else the same. That's how I plan on doing it. Events from season five and onward will be included when and if I see fit.

7184179

I'm not saying parts of it were foreshadowing...

But parts of it might have been foreshadowing.

LoL this my first crush in a Nutshell

7184240 I think you put it as well as can be said. The ship was done in a single short chapter yet didn't feel rushed, that takes skill.
Now i almost feel embarrassed for being caught up in the dream, I had at least 2 WTF-moments while reading that.

7182948

While the student-teacher thing might have been an issue earlier in the show, I feel like it really isn't anymore. Yes, Celestia was Twilight's teacher at one point, but they've grown beyond that over the course of the show. Twilight went from small child being privately tutored to grad student studying on her own and getting occasional assignments (such as stopping her teacher's evil sister from taking over the world), to a post grad doing her own research project on her own, to finally becoming a full equal of her professor.

The last episode actually makes a really interesting example of this. Compare Twilight preparing for Celestia's visit in A Bird in the Hoof to her preparing in No Second Prances. In the first, she's panicking like normal, but in the latest she's just casually setting the table while trying to teach to her own student. The dynamic between Twilight and Celestia has clearly evolved and matured over the years.

Also in regards to the student/teacher relationship, they aren't really student and teacher anymore, and there has to be a cutoff at some point there, right? Or can you just never have a relationship with anyone who was a teacher to you at any point? I think the taboo against student/teacher relationships is more about having the relationship while still student/teacher. Once that's done, I don't think there's really an issue (statutory laws permitting, of course).

Which brings up the issue of age, which, on one hand, does seem to be more of a problem. As you brought up, she's known Twilight since she was basically an infant. However, since she is the immortal Goddess of the sun, she's theoretically known EVERY pony since they were infants, including those long gone. That doesn't leave her many options, other than her sister of course, and that's a whole different fic.

As for the age difference, it comes down to a matter of perspective and scale. Let's say there are two people in a relationship who are 20 years apart. Now, if they're 10 and 30, that's a problem, one that involves cops and a lot of jail time. But say they're 80 and 100. I don't think anyone would have a problem with that. In fact, most people would think it was sweet - assuming they hadn't started off as that first example, of course.

So while it might be a tad awkward now, given the 1000+ years age difference, that would start to fall off fairly rapidly I'd think - probably wouldn't take more than a century or two. I'd imagine there's diminishing returns once you've lived a few lifetimes.

Of course, I just wasted all this time typing all this out when I could have let Celestia explain it all in two sentences. Have a little preview from chapter eight - nothing spoilery at all here, don't worry.

Am I to be denied the heart of every pony who isn't as old as Equestria? Denied every pony I bring up in my schools, every pony who's life I have a hoof in as they grow from filly to adult?

7185280

Am I to be denied the heart of every pony who isn't as old as Equestria? Denied every pony I bring up in my schools, every pony who's life I have a hoof in as they grow from filly to adult?

In all honesty? I genuinely agree with her there. Yes, she is denied that.

It's not even the age thing. I don't really buy into the whole "all alicorns are immortal" angle, personally, but that's separate. I've been involved in some relationships with a large age difference. They can work, so long as both partners have roughly equal expectations. Rarely long-term, but at least temporarily. That said, relationships between professors and their former students are looked at somewhat askance where I live anyway. It's considered somewhat suspect.

She does have such a relationship with practically everyone - and that's pretty much the problem. She isn't just a person, she's a fixture. She doesn't just know you, she probably knew your parents, and your great-parents, and their great-parents. Every single Equestrian learns about her from the moment they're born, literally. It's a unique situation and to her detriment, somewhat unique rules apply to that. She's simply too large a part of their life already. In Twilight's case, the relationship becomes this unholy, quasi-incestuous union of being with your mother, teacher and boss at the same time. As well as god-figure, if we bring your interpretation into it.

I just don't think that's a basis for a healthy relationship with anyone. You can't really say "no" to someone like that, emotionally.

Even Luna and Discord are only second-worst options, because before all else, she's the person who imprisoned them for 1000+ years. That's always the defining angle to their relationship, even if it has become more cordial recently. The only thing I can see really work for her is someone who is, as much as possible, an outsider. Someone who wasn't raised under her direct influence. Dragon, griffin, foreign pony, whatever, so long as it's not someone who actually grew up in Equestria and can have a somewhat distanced attitude to her whole "god-empress of horsie-kind" position. Luna is, somewhat ironically, luckier in that sense. Being a relative outsider herself, she can have that kind of relationship with people, so long as they're willing to overlook the Nightmare Moon thing.

Everything else just strikes me as unhealthy, for both parties. A relationship that isn't (relatively) equal isn't a relationship at all and ultimately just hurts both parties. Neither of them can really get what they want or need out of it.

Okay you've got me intrigued. Twilestia is something of a guilty pleasure ship of mine, because I railed against it so much for the first three seasons of the show. Prior to her death and Ascended Rebirth, Twilight's relationship with Celestia had far too much of a power issue for there to ever be a chance of it being romantic without also being troubling and traumatic, even abusive. But once Twilight's alicorn potential was realized, their positions became equal.

So I'm left with enjoying a ship I once hated, because it became plausible for it to exist without any negative issues. Of course the whole teacher/student relationship would still cause problems for them, as Twilight was still looking up to Celestia at least until the end of the fourth season, thus that bond will not vanish overnight. Nor will it be easy for Twilight to move away from her almost worship of the alicorn of the sun. But at the same time I can also see Celestia occasionally having issues seeing Twilight as anything other than the little foal that destroyed part of a tower with her magic surge. That is, she'll still look at Twilight as being too young in her subconscious even if she professes her love for the mare she sees consciously.

Thus it's interesting to me to see fics that take things from this angle, where it's Celestia who has the crush, Celestia who's in love with Twilight, and Celestia who acts. This one has promise, though the dream opening leaves me a bit confused and flustered, unsure if Twilight really died a second time, or if that was just part of the dream's events and didn't actually happen. But that's what a second chapter is for. In any event, consider this tracked by me.:twilightsmile:

I still dont get why so many people ship Celestia with twilight for one its creepy like dating your own mother another thing Celestia has an official romance in the Comics with Alternate universe Sombra yes at the end Sombra became evil because he sacrificed himself to absorb Evil Celestia so that good Celestia isnt sealed away but they are still a cute couple

The race is on, as Trolluna stalks her prey. Nice imagery all around, especially the whole hanging from the ceiling, and that dream was dark but captivating. Way to go!

7186007 but if Princess Luna really wanted to get to Celestia she just go over to Twilights place or in Twilights dreams take some pichers of Twilight since she can't find Celestia and then show Celestia the ones of Twilight that Luna think are cute.

7185913 I think it is just for fun as well as what if I'm more of a celestia a discord fan but I still posted a twilight celestia fan fic that a what if Celestia was a he and he is just pretending to be a she as well as twilight went back in time and fall in love with him. I just doing it because it came tp me and it is just for fun

Instantly fav'ed. This is AMAZING so far! I looooove on how you did a Timeline of Twilight's and Celestia's time together!!!

Can't wait for chapter 2!!

Ooh you really got me with that twist at the end, well done!
I'm definitely going to follow this. ^^

7183306

way to go luna for help your sister figure out her own feelings

So you're saying that Luna gave Celestia literally the worst nightmare that she could ever have, just to have her admit that she loved Twilight? That's cruel on so many levels.

You did well with your description. I find it rather difficult to find interesting stories nowadays, and I've always liked TwiLestia, so I decided to give this a chance.

But... in the 2.4k words that you have published, you showed us very little of what you said in the description. You showed us a lot of tiny snippets, mostly redoing what the show has already shown us. The parts that you wrote about Twilight falling in love, being murdered, then Twilight come back as an evil character all seem like excerpts from chapters of a much, much longer story. Essentially, you rob us of the emotional bond that you try to instill within us to keep us hooked on the story, especially when you have Celestia tell this evil Twilight that she loved her. I think it would have been better to have actually written all of that out in a much longer story, like I already mentioned. Having Celestia be on the verge of telling Twilight she loves her when Twilight tells her she's in love with someone else would have been very moving, and then to have her die and come back would have been an excellent twist.

Furthermore, I think that Celestia waking up from that dream saying "Welp, looks like I'm in love with Twilight..." feels kinda lazy. The story that you described in your description pretty much just starts when Celestia wakes up, too. The numerous page breaks broke the immersion of the story for me, and I was stuck trying to figure out what was a dream and what wasn't.

In closing, I do think that you could have started this off without all of the filler at the beginning. You promised us a funny, romantic shipfic, but gave us Celestia being sad at Twilight's betrayal, death, and funeral, all things that I was not expecting given the current tags. You write pretty well, too, which is great. To see a good story plagued with typos is a deal breaker for me, so I'm glad to see that this story was free of them.

I think I'll stick around to see where this goes.

7188401 Have to say I actually agree with you on this one. This wasn't anywhere that I thought it would be based on the description. Chapter excerpts that felt rushed and LOTS of room for emotional yanking of the readers heartstrings felt wasted in the delivery.

Still on my tracking list to see where this goes.

7188401 Keep in mind, this is only the first chapter, and a pretty short one at that. There's plenty more story left to fill in the blanks and deliver on the promises set forth by the synopsis. This first chapter accomplishes exactly what it set out to do: grab the reader's attention and establish Celestia's feelings/motivations through events both real and imagined. It's there to set up the rest of the story, not tell it all at once.

I'd agree there might be a slight tonal shift toward the end of the dream sequence, but without seeing the rest of the narrative, it's hard to say if it was appropriate or not. There is most likely a good reason why the first chapter is written this way, but that remains to be seen.

7189634

This first chapter accomplishes exactly what it set out to do: grab the reader's attention and establish Celestia's feelings/motivations through events both real and imagined. It's there to set up the rest of the story, not tell it all at once.

I disagree. It barely accomplishes that. It didn't grab my attention until the very end, the part where Celestia wakes up. The author pretty much reiterated what we've seen in the show for most of the first chapter, save for the parts where Twilight dies and comes back to life. That part by itself seems like a cheap way to introduce the fact that Celestia loves Twilight, and having Luna chilling in the nightmare is lazy. If Luna truly cared about her sister's well-being, she would have stopped that nightmare before it got too far, and letting it go that far is cruel. Furthermore, having Luna come in at the end to tease her big sister after she had a horrible nightmare is a huge dick move.

I'd agree there might be a slight tonal shift toward the end of the dream sequence, but without seeing the rest of the narrative, it's hard to say if it was appropriate or not.

The dream sequence was no different from the small scenes that the author wrote about, so to me, while I was reading it, I actually thought that Twilight had died and had returned as an evil pony. And since this story isn't tagged as Dark, naturally I was confused. You don't want your readers to be confused. The first thing that indicated that those little sections was actually one big dream was the part that mentioned Luna on the ceiling, that felt like it was thrown in as an afterthought. Surely there can be a better way for the author to show us that it's a dream. Having Luna standing on the ceiling is just strange. If she truly loved Celestia, Luna would have intervened a hell of a lot sooner. She isn't as petty as the author portrays her as.

This first chapter has very little to offer to the reader. It doesn't have one page break, not two, but freaking ten?? On average, that's 240 words per scene, nowhere near enough to properly tell a story. The author should have focused in on just one or two scenes and then expanded upon those, giving us that much-needed connection to the characters that we need to stay interested in the story. Furthermore, the first six scenes can easily be deleted as they contribute very little to the actual story. This chapter gave us no connection to Celestia at all, and it really feels like the author is telling us to feel bad for her just for the sake of the story.

There is most likely a good reason why the first chapter is written this way, but that remains to be seen.

I think that the chapter was written this way because the author wanted to give us a highly-condensed version of a much larger story, cherry-picking the most important scenes just so he could get to the part that he wanted to get to: the TwiLestia romance. There are better ways to show us that Celestia is in love with Twilight.

7185702 And now the human/Celestia shipping has a leg to stand on.

7189739

It's clear you and I drew different conclusions based on what was written.

Maybe it's just me, but I recognized immediately that something was up from the very beginning. The numerous page breaks, presenting past events but from a different perspective than what we are familiar with, the unusually quick pace. It wasn't traditional at all. It lead me to suspect that what I was reading wasn't "reality", which was pretty much confirmed right at the moment Twilight told Celestia about somepony she was in love with. Up until that point, every event was something seen in canon, but then there's this love interest out of nowhere? Then all these terrible things start happening? Clearly this was a dream, a projection of Celestia's fears. I was not at all surprised to see Luna appear a few paragraphs later. In fact, her nonchalant behavior felt almost like vindication, like the author was giving a nod to those who figured out what was going on before it was outright spelled out.

Was Luna's behavior a bit OOC? Perhaps, given the time frame this story takes place. I agree that the story presented her as a bit heartless, seeming to not be that concerned about her sister given the terrible nightmare she was having. Then again, her place in this story seems to be antagonistic, based on first impressions alone. Is this appropriate? Was this the right character for that? I can't really say without seeing the rest of the story.

You are right in saying that the beginning does not advance the plot in the slightest, but I would not go so far as to say that those passages were not necessary. It's important to establish character motivations early, especially with Twilestia, due to all the unfortunate implications that surround their relationship. One glance at the rest of these comments shows that some people are still not comfortable with the ship as is, and providing justification fast is vital to retain interest. Could the author have jump-started the plot before this whole dream sequence? Of course. Would it have been better for it? I can't say for sure, because this chapter is only a single part of a whole.

But more than that, it seems to me that the author wants us to understand Celestia, at the very least, before the plot gets underway. The events of the dream may or may not be relevant, but it is there for a reason. Is it foreshadowing? What parts are going to be relevant? It'd be interesting to see how the author pulls that together. This goes back to justifying the relationship as well, since the author is essentially playing the "I just realized I loved you all along" card, which I personally detest. I don't know about you, but to just have Celestia out of the blue ask Twilight on a date as the first line in the story would be incredibly jarring to me (or maybe funnier, if the follow-up to that is good). But to show a train of thought that justifies it at least a little keeps that knee jerk reaction from overwhelming the reader. Could it have been better presented and paced? Probably.

Now I'm not saying the author's delivery was perfect. There's quite a few things I'd have done differently. Like you pointed out, having Celestia outright state she's in love with Twilight seems lazy and the end of the dream seems a bit too dark. There are certainly different ways to convey the same information, sure, but again, haven't seen the rest of the story, so I don't know if one method is better than the other at this time.

I think the biggest blunder here is that the author did all this set-up in the first chapter, but ended the chapter before the plot picked up steam. There was the hook, but no substantial follow-up. If the author were to release two chapters rather than just the first, a lot of these problems would have solved themselves.

This has a great set up and I know it'll be a very funny story.

Obligatory, yes, but definitely not unwelcome.

Really? Five more pagebreaks? You now have fifteen pagebreaks in 4.7k words. That's simply way too many. You breaking up the chapter into several parts disrupted the flow of the chapter, and you could easily just add an extra sentence or two instead of using a pagebreak in most cases here in this chapter. Having all of those pagebreaks just feels really lazy. People like seeing long developed scenes, not just scenes that you've cherry-picked. On top of that, we get that Luna is trying to talk to her sister; you don't need to reiterate it by writing variants of the same thing, and at this point, it feels like you're just trying to boost word count.

You're taking the story on a tangent when I think it would be better to actually be developing the story that you advertised in the description. I understand you have to build up to it, but still, most of what you have here feels unnecessary. You left us with a cliffhanger at the last chapter, only to not resolve it in this chapter. Because of that, this chapter feels lacking and unfinished.

I don't understand why you wrote an entire chapter of Luna trying to chase down her sister, and because of this, both Celestia and Luna are out of character. Having Luna try to talk to her sister, only to be avoided all day is very strange, especially given the fact that she was missed by her sister for a thousand years. Furthermore, having Celestia feel ashamed/not wanting to talk about her love for Twilight is kinda strange. Since they've lived together, outliving entire generations of ponies, you would think that they would know how much it hurts to know that you're going to outlive their current lover by hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

Lastly, I still say that you write well, grammar-wise, but you need to work on structure. What you have published doesn't feel like a story yet, only a bunch of loosely-connected scenes.


P.S. You used the wrong it's/its in the last paragraph. It should be its.

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